Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 05:21:08 AM

Title: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 05:21:08 AM
I am told, Nigel, that somewhere there are happy, normal people who live happy, normal lives.  I'm not sure where that place is, because here in Tucson, every day is just another day for fresh horrors to be scribed in the asphalt and the tenement walls and the overpasses.

For example, let's say you meet another person.  This person perhaps works in a really morbid job, and is just a little crazy.  Doesn't seem to be Bates Motel crazy, just enough crazy to catch my eye.  Because maybe I'm stupid.  Maybe she's a coroner, and maybe you decide to look past that because she's hot and she has a nice smile.

And let's say that things go really well for couple of weeks.  Things are, in fact, shaping up nicely.  

Then, let's just pretend - purely hypothetically, remember - that you both have a long weekend, and you wind up spending your first night at her place.  Well, you start out to, but things get a little sideways.  You eat a nice dinner, watch a DVD, then get really fucking weird all over each other.  Great night, right?

But then you get done, right, you get done and suddenly you have to take a shit.  Hey, that happens.  So you go to the bathroom and do your business.  But then, aw shit, wouldn't you know it, there's only like two pieces of toilet paper on the roll.  So you lean over and look under the sink, because that's where people keep their spare toilet paper.

And wouldn't you know it, there it is, so you grab it, and there's a little jar behind it...you know, the standard mason jar, looks like it's full of those cutesy little soap bits or something.  Only you knock it over when you get the toilet paper, and it rolls out onto the floor.

So you aren't going to leave a mess in your new SO's house, of course, so you pick it up to put it back, and you notice that it isn't soap.  Let's just say, and remember that this is all just supposition, let's just say that the jar is full of molars.  Probably a hundred of them.

So your brain locks up, and you just put things back right where you found them, and go to get dressed and leave RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.  And when you walk back in the bedroom, she's half asleep and she smiles, only it doesn't look so fucking pretty now, now that smile is Eichmann and Mengele and Burke and Hare and you make an excuse and throw your boots on and leave.

And you drive the 30 miles home feeling weird, like a dog just walked up to you and spoke perfect fucking English.  And you try to call a person or two, you know, just to get your bearings, but it's late at night and nobody answers, of course.  So you get home, only it isn't home, it's your ex's house, and she hardly seems surprised to see you, but IS surprised when you curl up on the couch with a blanket and stare at the wall for a while, and then she stuffs something down your face and a half hour later you fall asleep.

And maybe in the morning, you don't feel a real urge to leave, because at least the ex is a kind of crazy you can deal with.  A known quantity.  Violent as hell, but no weird shit under the bathroom sink, what, souvenirs maybe?  And maybe you start thinking that everyone is fucking nuts, dangerously nuts, only they hide it really well...that maybe everyone you know has some horrible secret that would make your blood freeze in your veins if you only knew.

But remember that this is all just hypothetical.  Everything is just fine.  This is Tucson, after all, how could it be any other way?  We're all fine, down here.  We're so fine it sometimes makes you scream just a little bit, when nobody is listening.

Or Kill Me.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Captain Utopia on November 27, 2009, 06:00:19 AM
Holy Fuck!
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Johnny on November 27, 2009, 06:05:07 AM
Its a little bit disgusting, but are you sure its a deal breaker?

God, if just it wasnt placed there maybe it would be less nauseating, now i got dentistry, death and feces floating around my head (with some vague feeling of coprophagia GODDAMNIT TGGR I JUST HAD DINNER)
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 06:11:12 AM
Quote from: JohNyx on November 27, 2009, 06:05:07 AM
Its a little bit disgusting, but are you sure its a deal breaker?

God, if just it wasnt placed there maybe it would be less nauseating, now i got dentistry, death and feces floating around my head (with some vague feeling of coprophagia GODDAMNIT TGGR I JUST HAD DINNER)

:fishhook:
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on November 27, 2009, 06:35:37 AM
That's one hell of a "hypothetical," Roger. :x
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on November 27, 2009, 06:53:00 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 06:11:12 AM
Quote from: JohNyx on November 27, 2009, 06:05:07 AM
Its a little bit disgusting, but are you sure its a deal breaker?

God, if just it wasnt placed there maybe it would be less nauseating, now i got dentistry, death and feces floating around my head (with some vague feeling of coprophagia GODDAMNIT TGGR I JUST HAD DINNER)

:fishhook:

I think this is the best and only proper use of this smiley ever.
Also,  :aaa:

(I'm also a little jealous. All I have under my sink is a bunch of bath soap that I never wanted)
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 06:58:06 AM
Quote from: Cainad on November 27, 2009, 06:35:37 AM
That's one hell of a "hypothetical," Roger. :x

I am a weirdness magnet. 
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 27, 2009, 07:02:14 AM
I'd say that, hypothetically, you should hang out with her again next weekend and bring it up to her casually, like asking her when she's gonna make you a sweet-ass necklace out of some of the teeth in that jar under the sink.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on November 27, 2009, 07:29:13 AM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on November 27, 2009, 07:02:14 AM
I'd say that, hypothetically, you should hang out with her again next weekend and bring it up to her casually, like asking her when she's gonna make you a sweet-ass necklace out of some of the teeth swanky southern beads in that jar under the sink.

fixt (sorta)
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Triple Zero on November 27, 2009, 08:24:44 AM
That's right. If having a jar of teeth under her sink is the weirdest thing about her, you might have found yourself a perfectly nice normal girl that happens to have a collection of teeth under her sink. Just enough to fill her required weirdness quotum for your part of the world, but relatively harmless.

Assuming she got them from her job. I knew this girl who worked at a cinema, and she had to cut the movie reels, and secretly collected some of the frames of movies. This might be similar, except weirder? That girl was pretty weird in other aspects too btw.

I think you at least owe it to yourself (and perhaps herself) to find out what's the story with the teeth.

You can joke about it like RCH said or honestly tell her that it freaked you the fuck out and is why you suddenly left in the middle of the ngiht. Both are normal reactions. Hell, compared to finding a jar of teeth they barely register as mundane.

I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if it would be something like at her coroner's job there's some kind of dental record identification procedure that requires or causes some of those molars to come out, and back in the day when she just started collecting them out of some weird fascination but she doesn't do that any longer for years now, however she couldn't bear herself throwing away those teeth, or rather, how the fuck are you going to get rid of a hundred teeth of a hundred different people in a sane and safe way cause if someone happens to find them in your garbage bag they're going to freak the fuck out like you did, except they might tell and she will lose her job or worse.

I'm also going to guess, that if she kept those teeth right there under the sink, she must have been single for the time she was collecting them. Cause keeping your toilet paper and tampons there is one thing, but a boyfriend coming over regularly is not going to want to shit next to a jar of molars.

And then on the other hand she could be a serial killer.

However, she could be a serial killer anyway, you know. Does the teeth thing make it that much more likely? You sure?

I guess if she wasn't a coroner, then you'd REALLY have a reason to freak out. Btw I just looked up "coroner", I thought it was the person doing the preparation of the body for burial or cremation, but I see it's actually the police job? That investigates and examines dead bodies? We call them pathologist-anatomists here. Makes access to molars a lot more likely.
Also makes it a lot more likely she is aware of the difficulty of getting rid of them safely if it was a mistake from her early career.

Hey and look at the bright side--Imagine how much fun you could have with a baggie of teef :) I dunno how positively identifying and traceable a single molar is, but if not, mailing one to people you don't like, or uhh hiding one at strange places, like a tip jar of places you don't like [think reverse tooth fairy!]

Mind you, I'm not trying to downplay your worries, I'd freak out myself as well. I'm just trying to give the episode a sort of positive swing, you know?
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: hooplala on November 27, 2009, 01:27:54 PM
Damn.  And I thought I was weird because I kept my toenail clippings...
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Faust on November 27, 2009, 01:56:43 PM
If anything the fact that she is a coroner makes me MORE comfortable about the fact that she has a jar of teeth. I'd really worry if she worked with living people and had that as a collection.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on November 27, 2009, 04:03:26 PM
OMGZ ROGER MADE OUT WITH THE TOOTH FAIRY!!!!!!!
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Cramulus on November 27, 2009, 04:32:03 PM
Hahahahahhahahahah oh roger

that's wonderful


keeper right there


a girl with a jar full of molars

probably won't be phased by your shenanigans

Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on November 27, 2009, 04:03:26 PM
OMGZ ROGER MADE OUT WITH THE TOOTH FAIRY!!!!!!!

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on November 27, 2009, 04:40:47 PM
I'd say keep her, though you may need to keep your bank account separate... I hear she has a habit of giving away money.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Kai on November 27, 2009, 05:11:43 PM
The world is full of weird people. THEY don't want you to know that though, do they? Because if you found out everyone was weird as you, or even weirder, doing their freaky stuff out of the view of the public, at home and/or in the bedroom, everything would break down, wouldn't it? Because you aren't /allowed/ to be weird, there's something wrong with you if you are weird at all, have to be normal, have to be normal just like everyone else. If the secret got out that everyone dresses up in superhero costumes in the bedroom or likes how it feels to take a dump or keeps molars in a jar under their bathroom sink, THEN the system would be fucked, because everyone would know that no one is normal and THEY couldn't keep you thinking you had to be normal anymore. Everyone's weirdness would come out of the closet, and no one would be able to shove it back in.

And how awesome would that be?
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: fomenter on November 27, 2009, 05:20:42 PM
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on November 27, 2009, 04:40:47 PM
I'd say keep her, though you may need to keep your bank account separate... I hear she has a habit of giving away money.
:lulz:

not knowing "why" would be a sin..... weird like that must be explored to it depths.... 
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Epimetheus on November 27, 2009, 05:27:43 PM
Roger, are you the real Spider Jerusalem?

(Or did you kill him and drink his blood?)
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Captain Utopia on November 27, 2009, 05:45:49 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 27, 2009, 05:11:43 PM
The world is full of weird people. THEY don't want you to know that though, do they? Because if you found out everyone was weird as you, or even weirder, doing their freaky stuff out of the view of the public, at home and/or in the bedroom, everything would break down, wouldn't it? Because you aren't /allowed/ to be weird, there's something wrong with you if you are weird at all, have to be normal, have to be normal just like everyone else. If the secret got out that everyone dresses up in superhero costumes in the bedroom or likes how it feels to take a dump or keeps molars in a jar under their bathroom sink, THEN the system would be fucked, because everyone would know that no one is normal and THEY couldn't keep you thinking you had to be normal anymore. Everyone's weirdness would come out of the closet, and no one would be able to shove it back in.

And how awesome would that be?
We're getting there I think. It's one of the things I love about the internet.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Epimetheus on November 27, 2009, 06:00:15 PM
Quote from: FP on November 27, 2009, 05:45:49 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 27, 2009, 05:11:43 PM
The world is full of weird people. THEY don't want you to know that though, do they? Because if you found out everyone was weird as you, or even weirder, doing their freaky stuff out of the view of the public, at home and/or in the bedroom, everything would break down, wouldn't it? Because you aren't /allowed/ to be weird, there's something wrong with you if you are weird at all, have to be normal, have to be normal just like everyone else. If the secret got out that everyone dresses up in superhero costumes in the bedroom or likes how it feels to take a dump or keeps molars in a jar under their bathroom sink, THEN the system would be fucked, because everyone would know that no one is normal and THEY couldn't keep you thinking you had to be normal anymore. Everyone's weirdness would come out of the closet, and no one would be able to shove it back in.

And how awesome would that be?
We're getting there I think. It's one of the things I love about the internet.

Slightly closer, but I'm completely unsure we'll ever get to a point where people realize everyone is weird (= everyone isn't normal = no one is normal).
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Richter on November 27, 2009, 06:59:51 PM
Don't go and start making sanity rolls now after all this.  Whether it's the high dessert where everyone expects you to scream like the new tenant in the ant hill, or New England where EVERY kind of shit is kosher, so long as you keep an oil slicker of "NORMAL" over it, it's the same.
We've all got those mason jars full of sins somewhere.  Hell I've got several.  One thing that I know though, being a 21st century sort of pervert, you never keep thee things under your sink.  Hide better places, farther away harder to access.  Unless of course, you need to get at them conveniently when you need them.  What you do with molars, though, I haven't tried enough to know yet. 
If you like teeth, I bet it's fun as all HELL. 

I could be pessimistic, some folks just collect.  It can get compulsive, like the way I am with tools, scrap steel, or used copies of "Dune".

If nothing else I'd say it's worth asking about, La Coroner sounds like quite a character.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: LMNO on November 27, 2009, 07:01:53 PM
To be honest, I'd be more freaked out to walk into a room filled with used copies of Dune.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Richter on November 27, 2009, 07:05:05 PM
 :lulz:

We spread them around, at least.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Johnny on November 27, 2009, 07:39:58 PM

Now that im actually not HAVING FUCKING DINNER, id say you should see her again... the copro association was just due to its location but im almost sure its not there in reality...

the worse could be that she diddles herself while holding/watching the jar, which would make her teh kinky  :lol:

id just ask her to not keep it under the toilet, would even be kind of nice if she kept it in a bookshelf or a desk

(NOT THE KITCHEN FFS)
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on November 27, 2009, 07:47:20 PM
Quote from: LMNO on November 27, 2009, 07:01:53 PM
To be honest, I'd be more freaked out to walk into a room filled with used copies of Dune.

Well, that depends on what they were used for...
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 09:39:02 PM
Yeah, you guys are right!  I should totally date a chick that brings home momentos from the morgue!  That's not pyschotic at all.  What the fuck was I thinking?  And I just gotta find out what she has really hidden, if that shit was in the bathroom!

JESUS SLAPNIPPLES CHRIST, I'LL CALL HER RIGHT NOW!
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Nast on November 27, 2009, 09:55:48 PM
 I don't think there's a tactful way of informing someone that you've stumbled upon their stash of body parts.  :horrormirth:

Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Johnny on November 27, 2009, 10:07:25 PM

Hey, if she has a craneum, you could turn it into the grotto of an aquarium.

And watch on hours without end, how the beta fishes duke it out with the pistol shrimps over dominion of "skull mountain"

:fap:
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 10:10:57 PM
WELL, SHE'S GAME, SO I'M OFF IN 3 HOURS TO SEE HER AGAIN!  THANKS, PD!
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 10:12:05 PM
Quote from: Nasturtiums on November 27, 2009, 09:55:48 PM
I don't think there's a tactful way of informing someone that you've stumbled upon their stash of body parts.  :horrormirth:



What the fuck are you freaked out about?  Apparently, my second horrible thought of Wednesday night was right, and this sort of shit is apparently normal and healthy.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on November 27, 2009, 10:15:10 PM
So, Roger....
were you freaked enough that you put them back in really quick, or did you happen to notice if they all had fillings....
like.... gold fillings.
because that's pretty darned common from what i have read in regards to coroners.  nothing to be freaked about.  it's might just be her retirement fund.  if it is, she's prolly real excited that her teeth are up to almost $1200/ozt. right now.  :D
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Nast on November 27, 2009, 10:19:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 10:12:05 PM
Quote from: Nasturtiums on November 27, 2009, 09:55:48 PM
I don't think there's a tactful way of informing someone that you've stumbled upon their stash of body parts.  :horrormirth:



What the fuck are you freaked out about?  Apparently, my second horrible thought of Wednesday night was right, and this sort of shit is apparently normal and healthy.

Well you know, some people collect stamps or Elvis memorabilia. Other people collect...bits of other people.

My advice would be to refrain from looking under loose floor boards/digging in the back yard at her place. If anything leaks from behind the dry wall, assume it's something other than human viscera.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 10:23:56 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on November 27, 2009, 10:15:10 PM
So, Roger....
were you freaked enough that you put them back in really quick, or did you happen to notice if they all had fillings....
like.... gold fillings.
because that's pretty darned common from what i have read in regards to coroners.  nothing to be freaked about.  it's might just be her retirement fund.  if it is, she's prolly real excited that her teeth are up to almost $1200/ozt. right now.  :D


I'm leaving now.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Johnny on November 27, 2009, 10:25:09 PM

DW, if you turn out missing, we will all know who it was.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 10:29:04 PM
Quote from: JohNyx on November 27, 2009, 10:25:09 PM

DW, if you turn out missing, we will all know who it was.

Who cares?  This shit is normal, and from what I gather in this thread, sexy.

So I apparently live in a big fucking graveyard with all the other ghouls, and the sum total of a human beings' existence is as parts or containers.  

May as well roll with it, right?
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Captain Utopia on November 27, 2009, 10:32:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 09:39:02 PM
Yeah, you guys are right!  I should totally date a chick that brings home momentos from the morgue!  That's not pyschotic at all.  What the fuck was I thinking?  And I just gotta find out what she has really hidden, if that shit was in the bathroom!

JESUS SLAPNIPPLES CHRIST, I'LL CALL HER RIGHT NOW!
Actually, if it's any consolation, it freaked the fuck out of me. More than anything I've ever read on this site.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 27, 2009, 10:36:52 PM
If nothing else, this whole experience was worth it in order to grace us with the glory of the phrase "JESUS SLAPNIPPLES CHRIST".
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on November 27, 2009, 10:37:21 PM
For the record, I'm with FP. At least the guy who went ZALGO in the public bathroom wasn't, you know, someone you expected to spend time with.

Maybe you should stop praying to "Bob" every time you encounter a new toilet, Roger. It summons up Weird Shit.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 10:42:28 PM
Quote from: Cainad on November 27, 2009, 10:37:21 PM
For the record, I'm with FP. At least the guy who went ZALGO in the public bathroom wasn't, you know, someone you expected to spend time with.

Maybe you should stop praying to "Bob" every time you encounter a new toilet, Roger. It summons up Weird Shit.

Well, this thread confirmed my suspicions.  I may as well hang out with dangerous psychotics, because apparently everyone is one.  Or thinks that there's nothing wrong with it.

Or something.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 10:43:18 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on November 27, 2009, 10:15:10 PM
So, Roger....
were you freaked enough that you put them back in really quick, or did you happen to notice if they all had fillings....
like.... gold fillings.
because that's pretty darned common from what i have read in regards to coroners.  nothing to be freaked about.  it's might just be her retirement fund.  if it is, she's prolly real excited that her teeth are up to almost $1200/ozt. right now.  :D


Hey, Ip, if I were you, I'd stop hanging out at GIM.  I mean, I'm not saying you should stop, but I would.  Just saying.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Johnny on November 27, 2009, 10:43:36 PM
I find people that spend their free time, deriving joy or hopelessly bawling over watching soap operas, more disturbing (and specially more so when those people are housewives, that indeed have much free time).
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on November 27, 2009, 10:48:31 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 10:42:28 PM
Quote from: Cainad on November 27, 2009, 10:37:21 PM
For the record, I'm with FP. At least the guy who went ZALGO in the public bathroom wasn't, you know, someone you expected to spend time with.

Maybe you should stop praying to "Bob" every time you encounter a new toilet, Roger. It summons up Weird Shit.

Well, this thread confirmed my suspicions.  I may as well hang out with dangerous psychotics, because apparently everyone is one.  Or thinks that there's nothing wrong with it.

Or something.

PUT THE MONKEY INNA CAGE WITH THE PSYCHOTIC MONKEY AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS! IT'S NORMAL AND HEALTHY SOCIAL INTERACTION!
    \
(http://insertcreativity.com/x/src/125477192591.gif)
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 10:49:22 PM
Quote from: JohNyx on November 27, 2009, 10:43:36 PM
(and specially more so when those people are housewives, that indeed have much free time).

wut

Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Johnny on November 27, 2009, 10:58:48 PM

Was just trying to give a common example of pathology.

My point is that everyone has their quirks, just some are deemed socially normal.

Like a hyphotetical:

If i had to drive from California to New York with either a coroner that collects teeth or a housewife that watches soaps 24/7, id take the trip with the coroner.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Bu🤠ns on November 27, 2009, 11:11:14 PM
SHIT i just wanna know why she keeps them.

The only other thing i can imagine is maybe they are the molars of prominent people in Tuscon. Not that that makes it normal or anything...but hell I have nothing else.

Liked the rant too...hypothetically.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Iason Ouabache on November 27, 2009, 11:50:52 PM
Honest question, Roger: Is she any weirder than anyone else in Tuscon? Is this just one weird quirk in a nest full of craziness or is this the outlier? Is she "normal" other than this one thing? Does she have redeeming qualities besides being good in the sack? Could you ever get to the point where you would find collecting teeth in a jar is a normal and acceptable habit? AREN'T YOU DYING TO KNOW WHY SHE IS COLLECTING SO MANY MOLARS????
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 11:52:01 PM
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on November 27, 2009, 11:50:52 PM
Honest question, Roger: Is she any weirder than anyone else in Tuscon? Is this just one weird quirk in a nest full of craziness or is this the outlier?

I'm beginning to think it's normal.  That's the horrible part of all of this.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 27, 2009, 11:53:20 PM
WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA.

I've been dicking around half the day and just got to this thread. WTF.

So. Um, I have several thoughts.

1. One of my closest friends works with dead people; she's pretty damn eccentric but she doesn't have any human tissue collections at home.
2. Because she does work with dead people, it's probably safe to go ahead and assume she's not a serial killer.
3. Either she's collecting those teeth because they have gold in them, or she's collecting them because she thinks they're neat. Neither option really makes her seem like the kind of person I'd want to hang out with, although I can't really explain WHY stealing gold-filled teeth from dead people is wrong.
4. There could be another explanation, and if it was me, I would feel compelled to ask, because I can't imagine not knowing.
5. If you ask her, do it somewhere public. Just in case.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 27, 2009, 11:58:14 PM
Actually, I have to amend that; if she was collecting them because she thinks they're neat, I might actually want to hang out with her even more. It's WEIRD, but also, I don't know. Kind of insane victimless crime weird. Whereas collecting teeth from corpses for gold is more mercenary-weird.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 12:00:48 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 27, 2009, 11:58:14 PM
Actually, I have to amend that; if she was collecting them because she thinks they're neat, I might actually want to hang out with her even more. It's WEIRD, but also, I don't know. Kind of insane victimless crime weird. Whereas collecting teeth from corpses for gold is more mercenary-weird.
Yes, based on that same advice from almost everyone else, I'm taking a shower in a few minutes and heading out to take her to dinner.

Why the fuck not?  It seems to be acceptable behavior.  It must just be my bad attitude.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 28, 2009, 12:05:55 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 12:00:48 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 27, 2009, 11:58:14 PM
Actually, I have to amend that; if she was collecting them because she thinks they're neat, I might actually want to hang out with her even more. It's WEIRD, but also, I don't know. Kind of insane victimless crime weird. Whereas collecting teeth from corpses for gold is more mercenary-weird.
Yes, based on that same advice from almost everyone else, I'm taking a shower in a few minutes and heading out to take her to dinner.

Why the fuck not?  It seems to be acceptable behavior.  It must just be my bad attitude.

But you don't know if that's why she's collecting them yet. I kind of think it's important to find out why, before you decide anything. I mean, if she turns to you with a creepy glimmer in her eye and says "because they're so beautiful" I might suggest you run the fuck away.

If she looks embarrassed and says it's because she has some kind of strange OCD, I mean, it's still weird but maybe not Oh fuck, get me out of here weird.

Or maybe it'll turn out that she inherited them from a mad dentist uncle and doesn't know what the fuck to do with them so she shoved them under there so she doesn't have to think about them.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 12:07:13 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 12:05:55 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 12:00:48 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 27, 2009, 11:58:14 PM
Actually, I have to amend that; if she was collecting them because she thinks they're neat, I might actually want to hang out with her even more. It's WEIRD, but also, I don't know. Kind of insane victimless crime weird. Whereas collecting teeth from corpses for gold is more mercenary-weird.
Yes, based on that same advice from almost everyone else, I'm taking a shower in a few minutes and heading out to take her to dinner.

Why the fuck not?  It seems to be acceptable behavior.  It must just be my bad attitude.

But you don't know if that's why she's collecting them yet. I kind of think it's important to find out why, before you decide anything. I mean, if she turns to you with a creepy glimmer in her eye and says "because they're so beautiful" I might suggest you run the fuck away.

If she looks embarrassed and says it's because she has some kind of strange OCD, I mean, it's still weird but maybe not Oh fuck, get me out of here weird.

Or maybe it'll turn out that she inherited them from a mad dentist uncle and doesn't know what the fuck to do with them so she shoved them under there so she doesn't have to think about them.

Well, I guess we'll find out in about an hour.   :lulz:

Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Kai on November 28, 2009, 12:21:26 AM
EVERYONE IS FUCKING WEIRD AS FUCK!
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 12:34:33 AM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 12:21:26 AM
EVERYONE IS FUCKING WEIRD AS FUCK!

I know that now, Kai.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 12:34:58 AM
Now I'm off.  Wish me luck. 
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on November 28, 2009, 01:12:04 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 10:43:18 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on November 27, 2009, 10:15:10 PM
So, Roger....
were you freaked enough that you put them back in really quick, or did you happen to notice if they all had fillings....
like.... gold fillings.
because that's pretty darned common from what i have read in regards to coroners.  nothing to be freaked about.  it's might just be her retirement fund.  if it is, she's prolly real excited that her teeth are up to almost $1200/ozt. right now.  :D


Hey, Ip, if I were you, I'd stop hanging out at GIM.  I mean, I'm not saying you should stop, but I would.  Just saying.

Can't stop it.
it's a gold-plated never ending trainwreck...
hey if you steal her molars, i'll buy them for spot price...  :evil:
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Cramulus on November 28, 2009, 01:40:44 AM
Roger asked some of the weirdest people on the internet if collecting teeth is scary.  :lulz:

you're asking a bucnh of spag Discordians for advice? you know what our advice is? fuck her brains out, dude!!


It's like if you ask #discord if you should be drinking. They're going to say yes. It doesn't matter if it's 8:30 AM and you have to go to work, they're going to say yes, and it's good advice!

Is she great in bed? I've found that crazy chicks are crazy in bed. If Corona* seems to be sizing up your molars, you may want to do something equally as freaky, like maybe try making a resin cast of her foot while she sleeps.


Deep down, Rog, I bet you were secretly hoping for something horrible like this. It's why you started going out with a coroner, right? Ride the weird, ride it down! This is no decade for the timid!



*that's the name I made up for her right now
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Bu🤠ns on November 28, 2009, 01:50:13 AM
BUT WHY UNDER THE GODDAMN SINK!? 

If she was crazy wouldn't it be hidden in a shoebox in the attic or inside marmot under the house?

I think she's an 'underground' tooth whitener product tester for Colgate.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: BabylonHoruv on November 28, 2009, 02:02:18 AM
Quote from: FP on November 27, 2009, 10:32:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 09:39:02 PM
Yeah, you guys are right!  I should totally date a chick that brings home momentos from the morgue!  That's not pyschotic at all.  What the fuck was I thinking?  And I just gotta find out what she has really hidden, if that shit was in the bathroom!

JESUS SLAPNIPPLES CHRIST, I'LL CALL HER RIGHT NOW!
Actually, if it's any consolation, it freaked the fuck out of me. More than anything I've ever read on this site.

You haven't read many of Roger's threads have you?

This really strikes me as pretty low grade weirdness, comparatively.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Faust on November 28, 2009, 02:03:26 AM
Maybe she replaces her ones with new ones each evening, thats the only reason I can think of for her keeping them in the bathroom.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Captain Utopia on November 28, 2009, 02:12:00 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on November 28, 2009, 02:02:18 AM
Quote from: FP on November 27, 2009, 10:32:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 09:39:02 PM
Yeah, you guys are right!  I should totally date a chick that brings home momentos from the morgue!  That's not pyschotic at all.  What the fuck was I thinking?  And I just gotta find out what she has really hidden, if that shit was in the bathroom!

JESUS SLAPNIPPLES CHRIST, I'LL CALL HER RIGHT NOW!
Actually, if it's any consolation, it freaked the fuck out of me. More than anything I've ever read on this site.

You haven't read many of Roger's threads have you?

This really strikes me as pretty low grade weirdness, comparatively.
I guess this means that I can look forward to similar condescension should I ever write about anything completely fucked up happening to me.  :|
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: BabylonHoruv on November 28, 2009, 02:23:07 AM
Quote from: FP on November 28, 2009, 02:12:00 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on November 28, 2009, 02:02:18 AM
Quote from: FP on November 27, 2009, 10:32:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 09:39:02 PM
Yeah, you guys are right!  I should totally date a chick that brings home momentos from the morgue!  That's not pyschotic at all.  What the fuck was I thinking?  And I just gotta find out what she has really hidden, if that shit was in the bathroom!

JESUS SLAPNIPPLES CHRIST, I'LL CALL HER RIGHT NOW!
Actually, if it's any consolation, it freaked the fuck out of me. More than anything I've ever read on this site.

You haven't read many of Roger's threads have you?

This really strikes me as pretty low grade weirdness, comparatively.
I guess this means that I can look forward to similar condescension should I ever write about anything completely fucked up happening to me.  :|

I'd say from what I've seen of your threads this would rate as jesus fucking slapnipples christ level of insanity, and I'd advice you to run away quickly.  Roger just strieks me as having a much higher tolerance for weird shit.  Compared to the other stuff i have seen him talk about this is more on a "oh, that's interesting" level.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Captain Utopia on November 28, 2009, 03:11:24 AM
I just want to see what she's writing about Roger on a coroner forum in some dark corner of the internet.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 28, 2009, 03:52:50 AM
Quote from: FP on November 28, 2009, 02:12:00 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on November 28, 2009, 02:02:18 AM
Quote from: FP on November 27, 2009, 10:32:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 09:39:02 PM
Yeah, you guys are right!  I should totally date a chick that brings home momentos from the morgue!  That's not pyschotic at all.  What the fuck was I thinking?  And I just gotta find out what she has really hidden, if that shit was in the bathroom!

JESUS SLAPNIPPLES CHRIST, I'LL CALL HER RIGHT NOW!
Actually, if it's any consolation, it freaked the fuck out of me. More than anything I've ever read on this site.

You haven't read many of Roger's threads have you?

This really strikes me as pretty low grade weirdness, comparatively.
I guess this means that I can look forward to similar condescension pretty much every time you put your fingers to the keyboard  :|

fixed to reflect BH's usual modus operandi.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: fomenter on November 28, 2009, 05:43:25 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2009, 10:12:05 PM
Quote from: Nasturtiums on November 27, 2009, 09:55:48 PM
I don't think there's a tactful way of informing someone that you've stumbled upon their stash of body parts.  :horrormirth:



What the fuck are you freaked out about?  Apparently, my second horrible thought of Wednesday night was right, and this sort of shit is apparently normal and healthy.

i doubt its normal and its probably not healthy but it is certianly interesting, beats the hell out of the garden variety every day freak show that you can see coming from a mile and whose actions and there outcomes you can predict with ease
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 28, 2009, 07:09:28 AM
Quote from: FP on November 28, 2009, 03:11:24 AM
I just want to see what she's writing about Roger on a coroner forum in some dark corner of the internet.

CORONER FORUM.  :x
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: bones on November 28, 2009, 09:13:03 AM
Good luck Roger.
Fiendishly freaky, sure, but not necessarily psychotic. I am a bit surprised you took so much convincing to give her a chance to explain. Takes all sorts.

She may just turn out to be the perfect ally.  :eek:
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: BabylonHoruv on November 28, 2009, 05:59:36 PM
Quote from: FP on November 28, 2009, 03:11:24 AM
I just want to see what she's writing about Roger on a coroner forum in some dark corner of the internet.

Yeah, me too.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Storebrand on November 28, 2009, 07:54:42 PM
TGRR,

So are you dead or should I start believing in the tooth fairy again?

~gin
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 08:10:40 PM
Quote from: gin on November 28, 2009, 07:54:42 PM
TGRR,

So are you dead or should I start believing in the tooth fairy again?

~gin

No.

However, I got slapped, laid, slapped again, hollered at, slapped real hard, and laid again.

All in all, it's shaping up to be a really good holiday weekend.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Storebrand on November 28, 2009, 08:19:29 PM

So are you dead or should I start believing in the tooth fairy again?

~gin
[/quote]

No.

However, I got slapped, laid, slapped again, hollered at, slapped real hard, and laid again.

All in all, it's shaping up to be a really good holiday weekend.
[/quote]

:cheers: :cheers:
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 28, 2009, 08:59:07 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 08:10:40 PM
Quote from: gin on November 28, 2009, 07:54:42 PM
TGRR,

So are you dead or should I start believing in the tooth fairy again?

~gin

No.

However, I got slapped, laid, slapped again, hollered at, slapped real hard, and laid again.

All in all, it's shaping up to be a really good holiday weekend.

I don't know why it took this long for anyone to think of this, but...

given what you found under the sink, did you look in the attic for a ghetto shrine?
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 09:00:04 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on November 28, 2009, 08:59:07 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 08:10:40 PM
Quote from: gin on November 28, 2009, 07:54:42 PM
TGRR,

So are you dead or should I start believing in the tooth fairy again?

~gin

No.

However, I got slapped, laid, slapped again, hollered at, slapped real hard, and laid again.

All in all, it's shaping up to be a really good holiday weekend.

I don't know why it took this long for anyone to think of this, but...

given what you found under the sink, did you look in the attic for a ghetto shrine?

No.  Will check tomorrow.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Kai on November 28, 2009, 09:15:22 PM
Did you at least find out what the teeth were from?
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 09:21:13 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 09:15:22 PM
Did you at least find out what the teeth were from?

Yes.  People.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Kai on November 28, 2009, 09:25:36 PM
 :argh!:
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 09:31:12 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 09:25:36 PM
:argh!:

It's weird.  Go get your own weirdness.  This weirdness is MINE, and I'M gonna roll in it!
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Cramulus on November 28, 2009, 09:33:07 PM
moar details about the teeth!
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 09:39:58 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on November 28, 2009, 09:33:07 PM
moar details about the teeth!

No fillings, to speak of.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on November 28, 2009, 09:59:13 PM
Wait... a jar of GOOD molars?

That's actually kinda strange in itself. Most people I know have at least one filling.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 10:08:18 PM
Quote from: Cainad on November 28, 2009, 09:59:13 PM
Wait... a jar of GOOD molars?

That's actually kinda strange in itself. Most people I know have at least one filling.

Not important, really.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Kai on November 28, 2009, 10:44:55 PM
More details about /why/ she has the teeth.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 10:47:30 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 10:44:55 PM
More details about /why/ she has the teeth.

She wouldn't say, other than she "needs them".
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Kai on November 28, 2009, 10:52:11 PM
Awesome.  :lulz:
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 10:55:00 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 10:52:11 PM
Awesome.  :lulz:

That remains to be seen.  This could be fail, win, or somewhere in between.

Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:07:38 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 08:10:40 PM
Quote from: gin on November 28, 2009, 07:54:42 PM
TGRR,

So are you dead or should I start believing in the tooth fairy again?

~gin

No.

However, I got slapped, laid, slapped again, hollered at, slapped real hard, and laid again.

All in all, it's shaping up to be a really good holiday weekend.

Oooooh, you discovered how to bring out her fire!
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:09:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 10:47:30 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 10:44:55 PM
More details about /why/ she has the teeth.

She wouldn't say, other than she "needs them".

:aaa:
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:10:17 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:09:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 10:47:30 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 10:44:55 PM
More details about /why/ she has the teeth.

She wouldn't say, other than she "needs them".

:aaa:

TO THE WALL, NIGEL.

TGRR,
Went totally unarmed, too.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:16:21 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:10:17 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:09:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 10:47:30 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 10:44:55 PM
More details about /why/ she has the teeth.

She wouldn't say, other than she "needs them".

:aaa:

TO THE WALL, NIGEL.

TGRR,
Went totally unarmed, too.

I'm proud of you, Roger! You roll like a rockstar.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:20:28 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:16:21 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:10:17 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:09:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 10:47:30 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 10:44:55 PM
More details about /why/ she has the teeth.

She wouldn't say, other than she "needs them".

:aaa:

TO THE WALL, NIGEL.

TGRR,
Went totally unarmed, too.

I'm proud of you, Roger! You roll like a rockstar.

I want to explode one day, like the drummer from Spinal Tap.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:27:07 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:20:28 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:16:21 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:10:17 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:09:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 10:47:30 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 10:44:55 PM
More details about /why/ she has the teeth.

She wouldn't say, other than she "needs them".

:aaa:

TO THE WALL, NIGEL.

TGRR,
Went totally unarmed, too.

I'm proud of you, Roger! You roll like a rockstar.

I want to explode one day, like the drummer from Spinal Tap.

It'll probably happen.

Me, on the other hand, found myself telling Daff0dil last night that I'm really looking forward to enjoying middle age.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: BabylonHoruv on November 28, 2009, 11:36:56 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:27:07 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:20:28 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:16:21 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:10:17 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:09:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 10:47:30 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 10:44:55 PM
More details about /why/ she has the teeth.

She wouldn't say, other than she "needs them".

:aaa:

TO THE WALL, NIGEL.

TGRR,
Went totally unarmed, too.

I'm proud of you, Roger! You roll like a rockstar.

I want to explode one day, like the drummer from Spinal Tap.

It'll probably happen.

Me, on the other hand, found myself telling Daff0dil last night that I'm really looking forward to enjoying middle age.

You aren't enjoying it yet?

<---- decided at like 15 that middle age starts at 30 and is sticking to that definition.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 29, 2009, 12:07:43 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on November 28, 2009, 11:36:56 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:27:07 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:20:28 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:16:21 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:10:17 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:09:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 10:47:30 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 10:44:55 PM
More details about /why/ she has the teeth.

She wouldn't say, other than she "needs them".

:aaa:

TO THE WALL, NIGEL.

TGRR,
Went totally unarmed, too.

I'm proud of you, Roger! You roll like a rockstar.

I want to explode one day, like the drummer from Spinal Tap.

It'll probably happen.

Me, on the other hand, found myself telling Daff0dil last night that I'm really looking forward to enjoying middle age.

You aren't enjoying it yet?

<---- decided at like 15 that middle age starts at 30 and is sticking to that definition.

You clearly haven't matured past 15.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: BabylonHoruv on November 29, 2009, 12:09:30 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 12:07:43 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on November 28, 2009, 11:36:56 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:27:07 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:20:28 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:16:21 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:10:17 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:09:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 10:47:30 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 10:44:55 PM
More details about /why/ she has the teeth.

She wouldn't say, other than she "needs them".

:aaa:

TO THE WALL, NIGEL.

TGRR,
Went totally unarmed, too.

I'm proud of you, Roger! You roll like a rockstar.

I want to explode one day, like the drummer from Spinal Tap.

It'll probably happen.

Me, on the other hand, found myself telling Daff0dil last night that I'm really looking forward to enjoying middle age.

You aren't enjoying it yet?

<---- decided at like 15 that middle age starts at 30 and is sticking to that definition.

You clearly haven't matured past 15.

No, I did.  I was a real jackass at 15.

Now I'm middle aged.  And not nearly as bad.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 29, 2009, 12:09:46 AM
And no, I'm not really enjoying myself right now, because I'm in the middle of a divorce and getting out of a financial hole created by said divorce, you imbecilic pumpkinfucking asstard. Or do you ever bother reading threads where you might have to view other people here as human beings and not just opportunities to be a condescending, ignorant prick?
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 29, 2009, 12:11:16 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on November 29, 2009, 12:09:30 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 12:07:43 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on November 28, 2009, 11:36:56 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:27:07 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:20:28 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:16:21 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 11:10:17 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 28, 2009, 11:09:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 28, 2009, 10:47:30 PM
Quote from: Kai on November 28, 2009, 10:44:55 PM
More details about /why/ she has the teeth.

She wouldn't say, other than she "needs them".

:aaa:

TO THE WALL, NIGEL.

TGRR,
Went totally unarmed, too.

I'm proud of you, Roger! You roll like a rockstar.

I want to explode one day, like the drummer from Spinal Tap.

It'll probably happen.

Me, on the other hand, found myself telling Daff0dil last night that I'm really looking forward to enjoying middle age.

You aren't enjoying it yet?

<---- decided at like 15 that middle age starts at 30 and is sticking to that definition.

You clearly haven't matured past 15.

No, I did.  I was a real jackass at 15.

Now I'm middle aged.  And not nearly as bad.

30 is only middle-aged if you're going to die at 60. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: BabylonHoruv on November 29, 2009, 12:13:07 AM
wow,  people hate me today.

Probably deservedly so I'm gonna shut up for about a week.

60's when you start being old, at least, by my precreated definitions.

Good luck with the divorce and regaining your financial stability.  I have honestly been following your love life thread and hoping it gets less fucked up for you.

(shutting up now)
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Bu🤠ns on November 29, 2009, 12:21:23 AM
Wow this thread used to be funny.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 29, 2009, 12:23:39 AM
All right, thanks.

Protip: Calling a 30-something woman "middle-aged" will get you a raft of shit and/or beaten to within an inch of your life in pretty much any circle or context, so you might want to reconsider your adolescent definitions and go with age ranges that are more widely accepted by adults.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 29, 2009, 12:44:54 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on November 29, 2009, 12:09:30 AMI was a real jackass at 15.

Now I'm middle aged.  And not nearly as bad.

that's your opinion, and you are entitled to your opinion even though it appears to be dead wrong.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 29, 2009, 01:07:25 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 12:23:39 AM
All right, thanks.

Protip: Calling a 30-something woman "middle-aged" will get you a raft of shit and/or beaten to within an inch of your life in pretty much any circle or context, so you might want to reconsider your adolescent definitions and go with age ranges that are more widely accepted by adults.

*ahem*

Men, you CAN call a woman in her 30s OR 40s "middle-aged" if you so choose, but be aware that you're really just taking a bite out of SuperDave Osbourne's act.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Brotep on November 29, 2009, 01:09:33 AM
lol

Uh...yeah...

So anyway it's understandable that Roger was a little freaked, even though it's clear he's seen some really weird shit.

It's one thing when you see some nutjob out crossing the street one day; it's quite another when you're dating her.


Roger, how are you about all of this now?
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 29, 2009, 01:10:47 AM
Quote from: Brotep on November 29, 2009, 01:09:33 AM
lol

Uh...yeah...

So anyway it's understandable that Roger was a little freaked, even though it's clear he's seen some really weird shit.

It's one thing when you see some nutjob out crossing the street one day; it's quite another when you're dating her.


Roger, how are you about all of this now?

Groggy and sore, thanks.  And if it wasn't for this fucking case of the shits, I'd be getting more groggy and sore.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 29, 2009, 01:15:15 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 29, 2009, 01:07:25 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 12:23:39 AM
All right, thanks.

Protip: Calling a 30-something woman "middle-aged" will get you a raft of shit and/or beaten to within an inch of your life in pretty much any circle or context, so you might want to reconsider your adolescent definitions and go with age ranges that are more widely accepted by adults.

*ahem*

Men, you CAN call a woman in her 30s OR 40s "middle-aged" if you so choose, but be aware that you're really just taking a bite out of SuperDave Osbourne's act.

:lulz:
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Bu🤠ns on November 29, 2009, 02:18:31 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 01:15:15 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 29, 2009, 01:07:25 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 12:23:39 AM
All right, thanks.

Protip: Calling a 30-something woman "middle-aged" will get you a raft of shit and/or beaten to within an inch of your life in pretty much any circle or context, so you might want to reconsider your adolescent definitions and go with age ranges that are more widely accepted by adults.

*ahem*

Men, you CAN call a woman in her 30s OR 40s "middle-aged" if you so choose, but be aware that you're really just taking a bite out of SuperDave Osbourne's act.

:lulz:

(http://i197.photobucket.com/albums/aa261/broodwitch/SUPERDAVE.gif)
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2010, 05:59:05 PM
Bump, because I'm kind of seeing this chick again.

:lulz:

Dok,
Has no fucking brain whatsoever.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on April 15, 2010, 06:11:00 PM
Only read the op so far but I have to ask - have you brought up the jar'o'molars thing with her at all or are we just going to pretend it was hypothetical and enjoy the sexx0rz?
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2010, 06:14:05 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 15, 2010, 06:11:00 PM
Only read the op so far but I have to ask - have you brought up the jar'o'molars thing with her at all or are we just going to pretend it was hypothetical and enjoy the sexx0rz?

I brought it up, she refused to answer.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on April 15, 2010, 06:18:43 PM
OFUK :eek:
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on April 15, 2010, 06:31:18 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2010, 06:14:05 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 15, 2010, 06:11:00 PM
Only read the op so far but I have to ask - have you brought up the jar'o'molars thing with her at all or are we just going to pretend it was hypothetical and enjoy the sexx0rz?

I brought it up, she refused to answer.

Fair enough... so either now she knows that you know and is plotting your removal for knowing too much... or she's fucking with your head for fun.

Sounds Hot!
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Brotep on April 15, 2010, 06:37:17 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2010, 06:14:05 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 15, 2010, 06:11:00 PM
Only read the op so far but I have to ask - have you brought up the jar'o'molars thing with her at all or are we just going to pretend it was hypothetical and enjoy the sexx0rz?

I brought it up, she refused to answer.

:lulz:

Well...Enjoy.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Richter on April 15, 2010, 06:43:40 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2010, 05:59:05 PM
Bump, because I'm kind of seeing this chick again.

:lulz:

Dok,
Has no fucking brain whatsoever.

Life is usually more fun when you take the "I ain't got no sense." option.  2 + weeks of selecting as such, and the only downside has been lack of sleep.  Otheriwse I've seen more fun, more strange, and yelled more obscenities than I usually do.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2010, 06:44:56 PM
Quote from: Richter on April 15, 2010, 06:43:40 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2010, 05:59:05 PM
Bump, because I'm kind of seeing this chick again.

:lulz:

Dok,
Has no fucking brain whatsoever.

Life is usually more fun when you take the "I ain't got no sense." option.  2 + weeks of selecting as such, and the only downside has been lack of sleep.  Otheriwse I've seen more fun, more strange, and yelled more obscenities than I usually do.

Yep.

Also, bored.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: LMNO on April 15, 2010, 06:49:58 PM
Well, this should be marginally safer than taking the motorcycle out for a spin after a few days without sleep...
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2010, 06:50:48 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 15, 2010, 06:49:58 PM
Well, this should be marginally safer than taking the motorcycle out for a spin after a few days without sleep...

Yeah, that's a fact.   :lulz:

Less road rash, too.  Well, most likely less, anyway.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Adios on April 15, 2010, 06:58:01 PM
Write a book. Seriously. This is phucked up shit right here.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2010, 06:58:35 PM
Quote from: Hawk on April 15, 2010, 06:58:01 PM
Write a book. Seriously. This is phucked up shit right here.

Volume I is at the publishers as we speak.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Brotep on April 15, 2010, 07:07:23 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 15, 2010, 06:49:58 PM
Well, this should be marginally safer than taking the motorcycle out for a spin after a few days without sleep...

All the same, it wouldn't be a bad idea to wear a helmet.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 15, 2010, 07:42:49 PM
I am not ignoring this thread, BT±W. It just popped up to the top for me this morning and I haven't had time to read the whole thing so it's just sitting here on my screen waiting for evening.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2010, 07:43:51 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on April 15, 2010, 07:42:49 PM
I am not ignoring this thread, BT±W. It just popped up to the top for me this morning and I haven't had time to read the whole thing so it's just sitting here on my screen waiting for evening.

Oh, no problem, I just bumped it for continuing hilarity.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Lies on April 15, 2010, 08:46:13 PM
May I just say, I love this thread so much.

Good to hear its all working out :D
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Brotep on April 15, 2010, 09:37:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2010, 07:43:51 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on April 15, 2010, 07:42:49 PM
I am not ignoring this thread, BT±W. It just popped up to the top for me this morning and I haven't had time to read the whole thing so it's just sitting here on my screen waiting for evening.

Oh, no problem, I just bumped it for continuing hilarity.

The thread, or the lady?
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2010, 09:50:52 PM
Quote from: Chryselephantine Shavenwolf on April 15, 2010, 09:37:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2010, 07:43:51 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on April 15, 2010, 07:42:49 PM
I am not ignoring this thread, BT±W. It just popped up to the top for me this morning and I haven't had time to read the whole thing so it's just sitting here on my screen waiting for evening.

Oh, no problem, I just bumped it for continuing hilarity.

The thread, or the lady?

Yeah.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 16, 2010, 05:40:17 AM
Ahhhh. Oh Roger. This is singlehood.

Because eventually you forget to stop being grateful that they haven't killed you, yet.

And then you start remembering to be grateful that they haven't killed you, yet.

And then, eventually, you start to wonder why they haven't killed you, yet

and you realize, again, that

it is

because you are the entertainment, honey.

Or worse. Or you end up being the main attraction, and not the distraction. And how do you deal with that? You make excuses about polyamory, non-monogamy, and each ensuing conversation leaves you less free. Now, I gotta admit I ain't never had a jar of teeth roll out at me from under a cupboard. And I been drinking, can't hardly write either in the way I become accustomed to writing.

And now I have got no fucking idea what this conversation was even about. Fuck this internet.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 16, 2010, 05:43:29 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on April 16, 2010, 05:40:17 AM
Ahhhh. Oh Roger. This is singlehood.

Because eventually you forget to stop being grateful that they haven't killed you, yet.

And then you start remembering to be grateful that they haven't killed you, yet.

And then, eventually, you start to wonder why they haven't killed you, yet

and you realize, again, that

it is

because you are the entertainment, honey.

Or worse. Or you end up being the main attraction, and not the distraction. And how do you deal with that? You make excuses about polyamory, non-monogamy, and each ensuing conversation leaves you less free. Now, I gotta admit I ain't never had a jar of teeth roll out at me from under a cupboard. And I been drinking, can't hardly write either in the way I become accustomed to writing.

And now I have got no fucking idea what this conversation was even about. Fuck this internet.

I think I see where you were going with this.  Let's try it again en manana.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 16, 2010, 06:05:28 AM
Worst moment. You express generic human datefulness

annd it is so fully into you


your dog barks

you start


up from your chair. Except, unexpectedly, your right eye will not cooperate


LOL
Because you are still reading a thread from PD forums

It ius like your tits and your eyes will not free thee from the PM bodice  of demonophiliacc sexuall adoration
fduckit
some fuyckhewwad with a truck is here   
he wion the rimance of whhhhat is PD
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: E.O.T. on April 16, 2010, 06:10:03 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on April 16, 2010, 06:05:28 AM
Worst moment. You express generic human datefulness

annd it is so fully into you


your dog barks

you start


up from your chair. Except, unexpectedly, your right eye will not cooperate


LOL
Because you are still reading a thread from PD forums

It ius like your tits and your eyes will not free thee from the PM bodice  of demonophiliacc sexuall adoration
fduckit
some fuyckhewwad with a truck is here   
he wion the rimance of whhhhat is PD


IT'S LIKE

          the original single is a remix. now what? dub version?

OVERHAUL

          the carb acoustic?
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 13, 2014, 01:40:24 AM
Note:  The woman I was talking about in this story broke up with me because I was "too weird".
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 13, 2014, 02:41:10 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 13, 2014, 01:40:24 AM
Note:  The woman I was talking about in this story broke up with me because I was "too weird".

Which is a fairly epic accomplishment.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: Ben Shapiro on March 13, 2014, 04:05:25 AM
TGRR gets all the girls.
Title: Re: So Nigel, let's just talk in hypotheticals, here.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on March 13, 2014, 10:07:03 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 13, 2014, 01:40:24 AM
Note:  The woman I was talking about in this story broke up with me because I was "too weird".

Have you counted your teeth yet?