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I must be too available and too much of a whore with my help. I'm very, very good at what I do--my teaching has produced four, almost five graduating classes of winners--valley champions, regional champions, state and nationals competitors, winners at prestigious tournaments like Stanford and UOP. I taught them all LD or public forum debate and you were of little help to them, given that your focus has always been on forensics. And what do I get for it? Absolutely nothing.

I will not be treated like some sort of semi-useful instrument. I don't expect you to be my friend--you're my boss after all and before that you were my teacher--but at least treat this like goddamn business relationship. You ignore me in favor of your other assistant coach when she's around and I was almost your last choice for the job after the last two ran out on you (and funny, you didn't need a second assistant for debate when myself and one of my classmates were here. I wonder what that says?). At this moment, I have no idea why I said I would work for you when you asked. Absolutely none. I should have said no and left you to fend for your team with your other, forensics-based, assistant coach. Mind you, I like Lo Lo and she's good at what she does, but she wouldn't know what topicality or stock issues were if they hit her in the face.
You seem to assume I'm going always going to be there. If shit don't change, I'm not coming back next year and you can find yourself another person so willing to help. Good luck, because you're going to need it.

I was told by three separate kids that you don't work with your debaters outside class and it certainly fits with what I remember--everything I ever did as your student, I did without your help. Every trophy and every point were the products of my own effort without your guidance. I had one--ONE--coaching session with you in all four years I was your student.
I checked on the kids after breaks were posted, I de-briefed them right after tournament on Saturday--you never have, in all the years I've known you, unless it was one of your top teams taking a vicious loss. The tab room does not require that much time and frankly, you claim to hate it anyhow and attempt to escape it any way you can. Except for checking on the kids, apparently.

I will accept nothing but pay and letters of recommendation from you from now on. If it's raining cats and dogs, I'll ride home anyway. I will not attend anything you do not deliberately ask me to attend aside from practice. If you want me at the next tournament, you had better damn well ask me to go (ha, like you will). And I'll get to the school on my own, thank you very much. I'll ride to the school on my bike in the fog and the dark if I have to.
I'm really expecting not to be asked to go anywhere, actually, even if I get one of my teams to nationals (which I will, because I always do). I'll be left here while you and the other assistant coach and my team(s) gallivant off to wherever the hell nationals is this year, even though it was MY work that helped them get there. You'll take the credit, as if you had drilled them, you had critiqued them, you had helped them polish their cases. Always happens that way, always will. I never expected to be invited along when I was just a captain churning out winners, but I should have been getting some kind of sign of appreciation from you then and didn't. I expect nothing different now, because obviously the way you think of me hasn't changed despite the fact I am no longer your student but your employee.

Oh, and that goes for all the forensics kids I'm working with, too. You and Lo Lo will get the credit.

And FUCK YOU for not calling me today. What, was I supposed to magically know you were fucking sick and that practice was therefore canceled? You managed to call a sub--why couldn't you text me at least? Or have Lo Lo do it? Doubtlessly, she knew before you called a sub. You had better have a horrible case of swine flu and had better apologize profusely on Wednesday, or I'll find a way not to have to deal with you if I can possibly help it. I'll pay for all the copies I need or make them at home. I'll do whatever I have to to avoid so much as talking to you unless you have something I want.


I hope I have to eat these words, because I'm so, so done with this shit. And I'll be terribly disappointed if I'm right.

I hate snotty little mama's boys like you. I am not your doormat and you will not attempt to treat me as such. If you want the evidence I will be providing, you will work with me and you will not attempt to slime your way into getting it later.

You will not steal cases, you ignorant, lazy little shit and you will not give me crap. You will stop talking on your phone when you're working with me, you will be supportive to the newbies as the veteran, and when you inevitably check out (because you have all the work ethic of a sloth), you will not distract the people who are working with me. When you continue to suck and loose every round because you won't work, you will not bitch to my boss. Or rather, you can, but don't expect sympathy. She knows you're a lazy, slimy little ass wipe and she knows I can teach. She also knows you don't like me because I demand work from my students.

If I tell you to shut your ever-yakking mouth because we're trying to work, either you will do so or you'll leave. Got it?


You have the nerve to mock and condescend the newbies. You know what the difference between you and the newbies? You have seven consecutive tournaments that you lost. And you have the gall to condescend a FRESHMAN for his very first case. Even with TWENTY ONE LOST ROUNDS, you have some idea of how things are run and as a veteran, you are OBLIGED to be helpful and supportive. You chose to pick on him. If you ever, ever mock or otherwise insult him in my presence, I will take a chunk out of you so fast you won't know what hit you until the tears start falling.

Oh yes, and the case theft? If I ever catch you walking out of a practice with copies of another team's case again, there will be hell to pay. I will go on an evidence lock down and I will see to it that you're excluded from all my practices until the next topic. I take this shit seriously and it will not happen on my team.

You have all these aspirations that you're never going to achieve. You want to be a bio-med student but get angry when people make you work. You talk big but don't fill your clown shoes. I've heard your speaking style is atrocious and you have already displayed an appalling level of ignorance for a veteran debater. But you won't work on your style and you won't educate yourself. You'll be juuuust fine the way you are.


There's something about smug, self satisfied people like you that just makes me itch to with the urge to crush you. I want to grind the shell of your glass ego into a soft, fine powder, and scatter it at the local landfill. I want to knock you off your high horse so you shatter.

On the other hand, you hate me because I won't worship you for you lack luster talents, I won't let you slack off and yammer, and because I won't cater to your delicate little ego. And that's hilarious. You can kiss my ass if you don't like it and hope your team mates are more merciful than I am.

Or Kill Me

I work as a referee for girl's volleyball a couple days a month, and the association I work for puts us in schools all over the area.

Today, I was assigned to a school waaaaaay on the other side of the city--about thirty miles from my house and the game started at the same time as everyone else in the family needs to be picked up from school, so the other referee picked me up.
He spent the entire trip complaining about black people. "There's something cultural in them that makes them not want to learn in groups..." "One time, I told these kids to get off the net and they wouldn't! I had to go get a janitor of the same skin color to tell them to get off..." etc.
The school we refed at is mostly black.
Seriously? What are you doing refereeing at a school like this with that attitude?

And THEN he complained about racial tensions and how he thought that was all over with his generation (he's like 80). Right, because bussing kids around forty years ago solved all racial tensions forever more.


Also, does anyone else ever run into people who have NO concept of personal space? Seriously, it irritates the shit out of me. This guy was also one of those kind of people. He would be talking to me about some damn thing related to volleyball between sets and games, and he would stand FAR too close. He's old, I don't know him, he was in a position of authority over me, he's slightly creepy, and I already didn't like him when this shit started. I would step back, he would step forward. Repeat. For all four hours I was stuck with him; at one point he had me backed against a table trying to escape him.
It's not like he's blind or senile. He should be able to read my body language enough to know when he's making me uncomfortable and ref-ing requires some ability to read body language anyway. Shouldn't repeated attempts at backing away be a sign?

Or kill me.

Seriously. I work in a video game store and we have glass cases to display the systems. Finger prints are matter of course, as are hand prints. But grubby, greasy elbows and forearms on my damn cases?! How do people even *have* those? I ask them not to lean on the glass, they do it anyway. I can't scold them, even though I'd like to. Also, there are children who like to freakin' lick the cases! With as much windex as I use on the glass, I'm sure that can't be good for them.

In the same vein as UncannyValleyGirl's rant, parents of the world, please keep your children under control! I have no idea how many times I've asked a kid to get off the displays or not to stand on the Rockband boxes. Or asked a parent to make their kid stop destroying the game controls, because I swear--your stupid kid broke it, you just bought a $120 Rockband set!
Also, I get really damn tired of being yelled at by angry customers. It's not my fault my manager sold them a scratched game, it's his. There's only so much I can do, frankly, and buffing or replacing it (if you bought the insurance) is about all I can do without loosing my job.

I'm very good at making angry customers happy, but I hate yelling. There's another goddamn thing I HATE--the manager does that shit allll the time! I've had no fewer than three angry customers in the last three days come in with a messed up game and one of them has to call in every weekend because the manager does again and again. I think the only reason that one keeps coming back is that he likes the rest of us and he's been going there for ages.

Also, yes, looking for another job--again. I hate minimum wage jobs. I hate corporations. I really don't want to work for another fucking one, but I probably will have little choice in my cookie-cutter town.

Or kill me.

Don't drive across the fucking parking lot to get to another store. It's seriously three hundred feet. Use your feet!
Don't drive drive your kid everywhere and then wonder why s/he expects you to be a chauffeur.
Don't drive a mile you could have walked and then whine about gas. That shit adds up and if you're trying to conserve gas--WALK!
Don't drive that little distance, waste gas, and then bitch about the price of gas and how it's eating up your money!
Don't go through the drive through to get your triple-decker cheese burger with extra cheese or your white mocha. Turn off the engine and get out of the damn car!

I know walking requires you to get off your ass half and hour to an hour earlier than you would if you drove, but seriously, do it. I am so sick of listening to people bitch and moan about this shit. "Oh my god!" -puff- "I'm so fat!" -puff- "I need to" -puff- "loose weight!" or "Gas is so expensive! I have to, like, fill up my tank three times a week!"
You drive a gas guzzling SUV. You drive it *everywhere.* You don't walk unless it's between the car and the door. And you're fat and whiny and I have to listen to you complain about gas and being fat. Shut up and DO something about it!

Or kill me.

I really, really hate Starbucks, and not just because my manager is awful (that's a whole 'nother rant) but because of shit like this.

About a year ago, on an industry gossip site I ran across an article detailing Starbucks's attempts to prevent employee unionization.

The pinnacle of the events in question came when Starbucks managers read through the discussion boards on Cornell Organization for Labor Action's website in order to identify job applicants and current employees that were labor activists.
In a series of e-mails uncovered by The Wall Street Journal, Starbucks managers pulled names from the discussion board and then cross-referenced them with an employee database. They found that three employees were members of the University's School of Industrial and Labor Relations and active union supporters, and asked executives if they could inform local managers of the workers' identities.

This lead to those three employees being fired.

And then, while reading the article Suu posted about washing machines Lilithizing women, I saw this article and redlined.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Starbucks, Costco Wholesale Corp and Whole Foods Market are joining forces to propose alternatives to a bill that makes it easier for workers to unionize but is strongly opposed by U.S. corporations.
The three retail giants said on Saturday they sought a "third way" as big business and labor unions face off over the Employee Free Choice Act, backed by President Barack Obama.
...
Starbucks, Costco and Whole Foods, which invited other corporations, unions and public interest groups to join them, proposed instead that unions be given more access to meet with workers, stricter penalties for labor violations and a guaranteed right to request secret ballots in all circumstances.

Arggh, there's so much OTHER complete bullshit the world at large (Forbes, the average sheep on the street) thinks about working here!

From the first article:

Forbes Magazine ranked Starbucks as the number two "best company to work for" in the large company category. It claims that the average hourly worker nets $35,294 a year.

Ooooh, how I laughed when I read that! $35k? At a job like mine? I fucking WISH! They must have been counting the CEOs, VPs, regional managers, district managers, store managers, the ASMs AND the lowly cogs like myself. Christ.

Second article:

The SWU has been trying to organize Starbucks baristas since 2004. The movement stems from some workers' claims that Starbucks does not treat its employees in a fair manner by paying low wages and not providing enough hours to work. These two factors can make it very difficult for someone to support themselves, according to the Starbucks Union website.

More like the truth.