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First, you gotta take some new ownership of your environment. Find something you can control, and change it. Redecorate. Repaint. Rearrange all the furniture. Get some new art. Banish the ghosts and turn it into a fresh space.

Further to this, try growing some plants.  Not something boring like sansevieria, but something that you can watch grow, and eventually harvest.  E.g., grow some basil, then use it in tomato sauce.

Then comes the evangelists... DID YOU WATCH UMBRELLA ACADEMY? no, it doesn't seem like my cup of tea.

I watched the first episode, or some of it, anyway.  The characters were flat, and the writing was uninspired.

Can you imagine what the world would actually be like if a handful of random people had superpowers? Can you imagine what elections would be like? What about regular law enforcement, how would that square with the normalization of vigilante justice? What about the intersection of power and celebrity?

In the anime series "My Hero Academia", practically everyone has superpowers (although only a few of them have practical value).  In order to practice as a superhero, you need to be trained and licensed.  Unfortunately, the series doesn't explore this idea very much.

Superheroes would have ad deals and would go on podcasts. They'd be on commercials and SNL skits.

In "Mystery Men", Captain Amazing has the logos of his corporate sponsors on his costume. It was hilarious.  We need more superhero deconstruction movies.

F&B:  "It won't all be on at the same time."

This is like a government saying "we know the provisions in this new law may seem excessively broad, but we promise to only use these powers against the bad guys."  You can trust the current government, of course.   But what if the other team wins the next election?

Measure the draw a month after you upgrade the wire and install the new outlets, and I'll bet even odds they're pushing it past 30A.  Five-to-one that within a year they've plugged in something other than what F&B pointed out, and his guarantee has become even more meaningless.

I googled it, and determined that it is not, in fact, intended as a tentacle-tip cleaner. 
But it does come in three colours and sizes!

16 units of what? I dont understand

4x4=16, I guess?

What matters is that i'm here to contact the hoomanz 

Johnny, stop trying to make contact with your food, and finish eating it.  Don't you want any dessert?

I do eat veal, because baby animals are less environmentally damaging. I'm trying to be environmentally conscious, good to see you care about animal emotions more than climate change. I bet you eat fully grown humans who own vehicles.

Vehicle drivers are tender and succulent, and their life experiences give them a depth of flavour!  Would you rather I ate bicyclists?  They're all gristle.  You can barely even use them in stew.

I don't care.  I will eat people if I feel the need to.  A fucking pig doesn't stand a chance.

I only eat sustainably farmed, free-range humans, fed an all-vegetarian diet.

Rotten foul thing you are, eating vegetarian humans. I only eat vegan humans.

Do you even have the slightest notion of the horrors those humans are put through, to restrict them to a vegan diet?  I bet you eat veal, too.  I prefer my meat cruelty-free, thank you very much.

I don't care.  I will eat people if I feel the need to.  A fucking pig doesn't stand a chance.

I only eat sustainably farmed, free-range humans, fed an all-vegetarian diet.

That guy starts with the assumption that human are hybrids of two modern species, and then runs off into the bushes with it, without providing evidence to support his initial assumption.  Calling that junk science would be charitable.

I am neither a veterinarian nor a felinologist, but I would guess that most of those cats lost their tails either through accidental injury, or intentional mutilation, and that this accounts for their pattern of movement.  They're not hopping like rabbits; they're hopping like cats with severe back problems.

Cram, CNO, look ok?

That splices together better than I thought it would.
Ship it.

CNO, would you be cool with me mashing some of what Cram wrote into your OP and turning it into some Holy Nonsense pages?

Go for it.  You can hack out/rewrite/replace the Star Wars bit if it helps with the flow.  I was trying to put in an easily recognized example of false balance, but that is the best my sleep-deprived brain could come up with, and it felt a bit forced.  I think Cram's wolf/deer bit is more interesting.

We all seek balance in our daily lives.  Life-work balance, a balanced diet, balancing the needs of family and friends, balancing exercise and relaxation.

Balance is also needed in the world at large.  Balance between order and chaos, right and left, liberal and conservative, light and dark, good and evil, peanut butter and jelly.

What a crock of crap.

Balance between good and evil?  That's like asking for balance between being punched in the balls and not being punched in the balls, or a balance between being disease-free and terminal tuberculosis.  Good and evil don't need to be balanced.  That's a bunch of cosmic yin-yang hippie bullshit.

Star Wars said there needed to be balance between the light and dark sides of the force, but what was the real choice you were being presented with?  Between a bunch of pretentious weirdos in funny robes and a guy who thought it was smarter to blow up planets than to conquer and tax them.  They don't need to be balanced, they need to be institutionalized.

"Work-life balance"?  That's just code for "I hope my company understands that I need to leave the premises sometimes."  You're not taking time off from your job to rest, you're taking time off from your life to work.  You don't need to balance the amount of work you do, you need to minimize it.

You think "smart" and "stupid" need to be balanced?  You think both sides of the argument always deserve equal time?  No, if you're asking for balance, you probably just mean "the other guy is winning and it's making me feel bad so please listen to me".

Nobody seeking balance ever achieved anything notable.  You want to be somebody, you want to do something, you gotta go to the limit.  Balance is for flywheels, gymnasts and chemical equations.


In loving memory of Noble.
He sought to balance order and disorder, but went astray when he failed to balance speaking out with SHUT UP.

Reporting this guy just because he shits up everything.

Mobile doesn't let me use emotes, would someone kindly place a long line of laughing party hats and cigarettes?

   

We had three clear days, just enough to get a nice crust of ice that fucks up the shovel blade and makes it impossible to dig in there nicely,

I like those old-timey steel shovels.  They're a lot heavier, but the aluminum snow shovels they sell nowadays flex too much to deal with the denser stuff (and if you try to put any weight into them, the edge takes damage).

  
Where can I collect my quatloos?