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Thinking about Gabbard in general, my animal instinct is to flatten my ears against my head, roll my eyes up till the whites show, bare my teeth, and trill like a cicada stuck in a Commodore 64.

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#1
Rock and Roll hall of Fame nominees for 2014:


http://t.today.com/entertainment/nirvana-linda-ronstadt-ll-cool-j-among-rock-roll-hall-8C11400900


Nirvana is obvious no-brainer.  They should just skip all of the nonsense and induct them now.
#2
Okay, so if you want to compare to legal substances:  Weed is more toxic than tobacco.

Higher tar content
Higher carbon monoxide content
More carcinogens

This is why the comparison to other legal substances is irrelevant. 
#3
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 11, 2013, 05:44:48 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 11, 2013, 05:33:38 PM
All the same, they blinked.

All I can picture is Boehner, snotty nosed and disheveled on the floor in the rotunda.

You mean, like he was hit with a Wrecking Ball?

#4
http://ikeaordeath.com


Can you tell the difference?
#6
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / IIRC
September 11, 2013, 04:50:06 PM
I am forgetting to remember something I am not supposed to ever forget


Hmm, I know where my car keys are, my waffle iron is off, I remember The Maine...


What the fuck is it?
#7
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Theater
September 05, 2013, 12:48:19 PM
They say that all the world's a stage.


This has to be one of the most obscene one-act plays I've ever seen.  The actors are all lifeless drones and stiff.  No one really seems to be into their roles.  This despite all of the graphic pyrotechnics. 


Maybe it is time for the audience to just get the fuck up and walk out. 


Go build a new stage, put on a new play.



#8
Deliver yourself from evil.


How?  - you are asking me right now with the fervor of a meth-addled bus-stop jockey.


Simple.  Send me $29.95.  Wait beneath your mailbox for three days.


While you sit contemplate contenplations, including those that seem to bear some relevance to your current set of conditions.


On the third day, stand up, walk back to your house, and stop doing all of the shit that is bringing you down man.


You're welcome.
#10
Principia Discussion / Fill in the Blanks
August 08, 2013, 08:34:44 PM
Polite Discordians will always remember that PD.COM is the
_________________  of   _____________________.




Go!
#11
In a scenario where complacency has reigned for far too long, gluing your ass in your office chair and hollering with your fingers is aiding and abetting.  The Machine is only far too happy to have provided you with the Time Wasters to lull you into a false sense of involvement.  It has convinced you that blogging, and posting, and LIKEing, and TWEETing actually does shit.  It is classical conditioning.  You peck at some keys, other monkeys hollar back and you think shit is changing.


Nope.  Nothing is changing,  It is just a distraction.  It's just Interactive TEEVEE.  It's the shiny, glowing orb dangled in front of you by the Angler Fish of Ennui.  Reeling you in and snapping its jaws tight. 


Today is no different than yesterday.  You need to pound pavement.  You need to face to face.  You need to scream and spittle at your opposition.  You need to do Hands On change.


Otherwise, you are still going to be ever getting Fucking Nowhere. 


But at least you have your Candy Crush right?
#12
http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/07/17/19523421-rolling-stone-boston-bomber-suspect-photo-stirs-online-controversy-cvs-walgreens-drop-the-issue?lite

Magazine sales must have been slumping badly.  I suppose the nut-wits at Rolling Stone think this is "edgy journalism".

Sure, let's make the human sack of shit a rock star.  Fuck dead and maimed and delimbed people.  There are units to move!
#13
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Sally Fourth
July 03, 2013, 12:04:49 PM
And the rickets red glare!


It is time ladies and germtlemen!


It is time to take up arms!


We shall patriot loke they've never seen patrioting before!


We will drink Bud Light until it oozes out of our very pores.


We will indulge in the finest of franks!


And when they raise the red, white, and blue.


We shall bask in the unfettered glory of the Unmitigated States of Amorica!


Happy Fourth of July fuckers!



#16
What are you eating? 
#17
Principia Discussion / Don't Stall Joy
May 22, 2013, 12:49:20 AM

DOGMA III - HISTORY #2, "COSMOGONY"
which is not the same as DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY" (Book of Uterus)
          In the beginning there was VOID, who had two daughters; one (the smaller) was that of BEING, named ERIS, and one (the larger) was of NON-BEING, named ANERIS. (To this day, the fundamental truth that Aneris is the larger is apparent to all who compare the great number of things that do not exist with the comparatively small number of things that do exist.)
          Eris had been born pregnant, and after 55 years (Goddesses have an unusually long gestation period-- longer even than elephants), Her pregnancy bore the fruits of many things. These things were composed of the Five Basic Elements, SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE, and ORANGE. Aneris, however, had been created sterile. When she saw Eris enjoying Herself so greatly with all of the existent things She had borne, Aneris became jealous and finally one day she stole some existent things and changed them into non- existent things and claimed them as her own children. This deeply hurt Eris, who felt that Her sister was unjust (being so much larger anyway) to deny Her her small joy. And so She made herself swell again to bear more things. And She swore that no matter how many of her begotten that Aneris would steal, She would beget more. And, in return, Aneris swore that no matter how many existent things Eris brought forth, she would eventually find them and turn them into non-existent things for her own. (And to this day, things appear and disappear in this very manner.)


There is great significance in our insignificance.  There are so many of us in this speck of space, yet there are far more that have been but are no longer, who were in this same very speck of space.  But all of the human being that has been is still of nigh import when compared to everything else everywhere else that has ever existed and then not existed.  (and who knows, there are likely other forms of manifestation we can't begin to fathom)

So what?

So it's all the more reason to exist the fuck out of existance. 

There is nothing for it but to grab every opportunity to smile like a grinning ninny.  Aneris will come for you soon.
 
Might as well blink out of the universe with a big ole smile on your face. 
#18
Ray Manzarek has reached The End today. 


That organ sound is so iconic. 
#19
Principia Discussion / blackironprison.com
April 29, 2013, 12:40:01 AM
Looks like it is broken.  Which kinda sucks.  Anyone have any regular correspondence with Syn?
#20
Jonathan Winters that is.... :cry:
#21
Napalm Death was supposed to do a gig at a museum in London that was going to be played through a sculptural sound system that would have disintegrated under the decibel stress.  But I guess the museum was worried Napalm Death might've ended up accidentally the ENTIRE museum.


http://entertainment.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/03/20/17385786-london-museum-cancels-heavy-metal-gig-fearing-noise-damage?lite
[/size]
[/size]
#22
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / In Circles
March 20, 2013, 12:19:22 AM
The Land has been awash with the vapid soulless vessels for far too long now.  The only lights in the eyes, the reflection of their digital shackles.  Instruments borne in the quest to achieve the vastness of endless knowledge, turned, and usurped by The Machine, and used as the euphoric sedative it is today. 


Keep the people happy, but draw their gaze away from The Real. 


Don't let them catch sight of the machinations that continuously eat away at what power they possessed.


Fool them into a sense of being part of a Mass for Change when all they have become are cache cows. 


The Recolution has already been tweeted, liked, shared....The People have already (willingly) lost.
#23
This was just on the local news.  Apparently Maine, according to US census data, has become the second state (West Virginia was first) in the U.S. where deaths are exceeding births.


Of course with the Boomers becoming old farts this trend will eventually be pretty much everywhere within the next decade.




#25

What the thread title says, this is a hoot:




Said Jesse Silverberg and his co-workers at Cornell: "Heavy metal concerts present an extreme environment in which large crowds of humans experience very loud
music
in sync with bright, flashing lights, often while intoxicated. In this setting, we find two types of collective motion: mosh pits, in which participants collide with each other randomly in a manner resembling an ideal gas, and circle pits, in which participants run collectively in a circle forming a vortex of people. We model these two collective behaviors using a flocking model and find qualitative and quantitative agreement with the behaviors found in videos of metal concerts. Futhermore, we find a phase diagram showing the transition from a mosh pit to a circle pit as well as a predicted third phase, lane formation."


http://www.blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=186282
[/size]
#26
According to a recent poll the three least religious states inthe U.S. are:  1. Vermont 2. New Hampshire, and 3. Maine, followed by Massachussetts and Rhode Island.


Though I will say, there are pockets, at least in Maine where people are VERY religious, but I guess they are drowned out by all of the heathens in Southern and Central Maine.


http://www.religionnews.com/2013/02/14/photo-slideshow-gallups-least-religious-states-of-2012/
#27
I'm sorry about your cats's penne.


I'm not sorry about this awful joke.
#29

This thread is to celebrate the glory of American Gun Culture.  Because, Fuck Yeah, Guns!


What's a great Gun Show without a little accidental discharge?

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/01/19/16603029-three-accidentally-shot-at-north-carolina-gun-show-police-say?lite

#30
So now that I am enjoying a situation where the household income is just my income, and I have some new financial freedom (read, I can buy the shit I want, when I want) I'm looking to get myself a synth.  Basically, something I can use for composition that would give me some great flexibility in terms of the kinds of sounds I can create, but also just play when I want to tinkle the (faux) ivories.


Anything you have that you'd recommend?
#31
Can someone explain to me why I'm supposed to give a fuck about some football player's "dead" invisible friend?  I keep seeing it in the headlines which is clearly the news media telling me I SHOULD give a fuck.  But I'm fuck out of fucks so I need to live vicariously through you fucks' fucks.


So what's the deal?
#32

I find this story to be both terribly sad, yet, beautiful, if in a melancholic way.  Adult twins who were born deaf, who have lived together for 45 years.
They were starting to lose their eyesight and would've been completely blind soon.  Rather than face completely helpless lives of dark, silence. 
They decided to die together, which Belgium allowed legally. 
Because really, why the fuck should a government get to force you to live when you don't want to.http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/01/14/16507519-faced-with-blindness-deaf-twins-choose-euthanasia?lite

#33
have you ever seen the rain?
#34
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / BREAKING NEWS!!!!
November 17, 2012, 10:57:50 PM
This just in, Mexico is going to rescue the Twinkies! 


That was a close one, fatty fair food stall owners all across the county were collectively shitting their pants at the thought of losing their staple confection.



You may return to discussing your trivial health care, poverty, and middle east war issues.
#35
How the fuck are you guys not talking about this?


http://bottomline.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/10/30/14809629-disney-buying-lucasfilm-will-release-new-star-wars-movie-in-2015?lite
[/size]
[/size]I'm calling it now, Han Solo will be played by Johnny Depp.
#37
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / BREAKING NEWS!
October 11, 2012, 04:56:41 PM
Coming up at 5:  Six terrified as reports surface that Seven ate Nine on 10/11/12.

#38
I made voodoo dolls for all of you and jammed pipe cleaners everywhere, and I fucking mean EVERYWHERE.
#39
Ask me anything.

But pass the Doritos first. 
#40
Porcine Rebellion.  The pigs are eating the farmers.






http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/10/01/14173510-70-year-old-oregon-farmer-eaten-by-his-hogs?lite
[/size]
[/size]Normally, I'd try to come up with a funny quip or pun but I feel bad for that poor SOB.  What a fucking way to go.
#41
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Brick Walls
October 02, 2012, 10:38:12 AM
Man has been allowed to come into being and molded by the same universe that possesses the cold indifference as to the duration and quality of that existence.  It is in this spirit, that it should come to no surprise that man treats man the way it does.  That any man cares for any other man, at all, is something of a miracle.
#42
Or Kill Me / Some thoughts on this election thing.
September 27, 2012, 11:03:39 AM
In the past, I've written, I will be bold and say, some fairly strong rants around the Presidential Election.  It's been a topic that has tended to elicit some kind of opinion or feeling from me.  This time around, all that boils up is a big  :kingmeh: .


And not just because Obama and Romney have fairly ho-hum personalities, but because, does it really matter?  Yeah, okay, I can hear some of you screaming now,about how a Republican presidency will set us back to the stone age, or some such blather.  I don't happen to buy it, I think he is just Status Quo in a suit, just like Obama. He's running for President because he wants to be President, because it's "his turn".  It's a trophy for his mantle, a plaque for the wall, a blue ribbon for his scrapbook, he doesn't give a fuck about making anything better for us OR his base.  He throws out red meat because he wants to be elected.  Does anyone seriously think he truly believes in ANYTHING he says?  He's just another lifeless, pathetic banker who wants to accumulate status and wealth. 


Obama, if re-elected, will be more of the same, which frankly has been a snooze-fest.  Well, unless you are the unlucky brown, smudgy person to find yourself in the shadow of a drone.  He isn't going to make anything better for anyone because he doesn't have the temerity or drive.  He's very good at BECOMING the President.  He just isn't very good at BEING the President.


So, while I know I should give a fuck, I don't.  No matter who wins, it will continue to be a Washington DC of clusterfuck gridlock and political butthurt.  Nothing will happen, nothing will change, and we'll continue to be holding the bag.


If you want your life to get better, you are on your own.
#43
A light-hearted skip, however, is perfectly acceptible, especially if you are wearing a nice cap on your head.
#44
Just some observational venting,


So here where I work, my boss basically doesn't pay any attention to what I do.  On the one hand it's probably complimentary, having full trust that I'm pretty good at what I do.  On the other hand, it's his job to be my boss and to provide supervision.  But his idea of supervisions is bascially just saying yes, or repeating my "thinking out loud" suggestions.  Like this draft letter I sent him, I said in the e-mail, "maybe I should include this little nugget of info".  So, his feedback?  That I should include that little nugget of info, like he thought of it on his own.


I shouldn't complain as it could be worse and he could be a control freak, however, I think it's more likely the case he simply doesn't give a fuck because my work is the icky work.  It isn't the warm and fuzzy stuff of getting kids to drink less soda, or getting adults to get more exercise, or to build trails, or hand out stupid brochures that nobody is ever going to read ever.


But, by fuck, if he has a chance to glom on to what I do in a community meeting, like he's been an integral part of it somehow, by fuck he will.  Until he gets into infamiliar territory and gives me that pleading look to bail him out. 


It's all about status and importance.  About making the agency look good, and important, and THE BEST!  Fuck, I just want to do the work because it is the right thing to do, and I'd like him and the Board to take an actual and genuine interest in what I do.  Not for validation or anything.  Just because, well, it's kind of what the organization is supposed to do and he's supposed to lead the way. 


You can't lead by sitting around.
#45
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Fuck the RIAA!
September 19, 2012, 03:48:49 PM
Sorry, someone reminded me it was talk like a pirate day today.
#46
That some "Discordians" can't tolerate dissenting points of view.


Discuss.
#47
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / I Almost Forgot...
September 09, 2012, 07:08:43 PM
That this week it's the 11th anniversary of that thing we're never, ever supposed to forget.  Well, I remembered, so I guess this means I'll be on Santa Uncle Sam's Good List for another year.
#48
Colorado, Oregon, and Washington State, and they're all named Mary Jane funnily enough.

http://www.drugfree.org/join-together/drugs/commentary-marijuana-legalization-takes-center-stage-this-election-season

QuoteWith Election Day just around the corner, voters in multiple locations will again be confronted with cannabis-related questions. Seven state legislatures appear to still believe that there is a medical use for marijuana despite a lack of agreement from the medical community. Legislation is pending in each of those states. "Medical marijuana" has simply been the camel's nose under the tent, with the true goal of legalization covered up with a supposedly scientific approach.
Three states are now getting to the heart of the matter with outright legalization on the table. Colorado's Amendment 64, the "Regulate Marijuana Like Alcohol Act," will permit those over 20 to possess, use, display, purchase and transport limited amounts of marijuana. Washington's Measure 502 would also allow limited possession of marijuana by those over age 20. The Oregon Cannabis Tax Act, Measure 80, would create the Oregon Cannabis Commission to regulate the sale and cultivation of marijuana for those over age 20.

The common argument of course is that this is going to generate all kinds of revenue.  Maine is currently considering terminating the contract responsible for importing liquor and giving that control to the State, so they can lower prices and generate more revenue.  Both of these scenarios of course assume a significant amount of consumption to generate all of those revenues.  What they are all missing is that the increased costs, including lost productivity, increased health care costs, substance related violence, all of that is going to work against, and probably negate, all of that revenue raised.  So the revenue argument, while it will certainly resonate with the public, is a false bill of goods.


All that being said, it's going to be really interesting to see how this plays out.  My money is on at least one of these passing, probably in Oregon or Washington.
#49
I'm reminding you that this guy still exists and still does this stuff, and seemingly more awful than ever before:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fdJTcGGv4wE