CANNED PIZZA, CONTAINING BALLS OF DOUGH AND PIZZA SAUCE AND PEPPERONI AND CHEESE.
OK NOW YOU GO.
I... can't beat that.
TINY FRIENDLY CRABS
TACO CRISP CEREAL.
LIKE COOKIE CRISP.
BUT LITTLE TACOS.
GOOD IDEA RITE? :asshat:
NOT MINE BUT PENGUINS IN SWEATERS
Quote from: Epimetheus on October 22, 2011, 06:11:05 PM
TACO CRISP CEREAL.
LIKE COOKIE CRISP.
BUT LITTLE TACOS.
GOOD IDEA RITE? :asshat:
I'D HIT THAT.
FROZEN BEER IN DISC SHAPE
I CALL IT THE BEERCTIC CIRCLE
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think you're going to beat monkeys in people clothes.
Payne and I came up with the WOMP transportation tubes a few years back. Trans-Atlantic travel...WATER SLIDE STYLE.
Anti-alcohol. It sobers you up after you're done being drunk.
WORKING CANDY CELLPHONE.
POTATO MANDARIN HYBRIDS FOR EASY PEELING
A HAT THAT NEVER GOES OUT OF FASHION
PRANK FLESHLIGHT BASED ON SNAKE NUT CAN.
Bottomless coffee pot!
uncaps lock which takes capital letters out of the picture entirelyexclamationpointihaveafrontporch
Quote from: I_Kicked_Kennedy on October 23, 2011, 02:55:26 AM
uncaps lock which takes capital letters out of the picture entirelyexclamationpointihaveafrontporch
BUT CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
A REAL CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
DARTH VADER VOICE CHANGING BALL-GAG
HOVERCRAFT COMPUTER MOUSE
Quote from: Suu on October 23, 2011, 01:16:52 AM
Bottomless coffee pot!
AND BOTTOMLESS MUGS.
AND RAINCOATS FOR YOUR LEGS SO YOU DON'T GET COFFEE ON YOUR TROUSERS.
BEST IDEAS. EVER.
GLASSES WITH CLOSED EYES PAINTED ON THEM SO YOU LOOK ASLEEP WHEN YOU ARE REALLY AWAKE.
SLEEVELESS SLANKET (SNUGGIE)
PRESIDENT OBAMA REAL DOLL
Quote from: Nigel on October 22, 2011, 06:47:25 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 22, 2011, 06:46:12 PM
FROZEN BEER IN DISC SHAPE
PERFECT FOR CAMPING.
Jesus. I can't believe there was ever a time I didn't like you.
We need to go camping...YOUR way.
Quote from: Suu on October 23, 2011, 04:28:28 AM
A REAL CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
REAL CONTROL FOR CRUISE.
(http://blogs.theage.com.au/trashtalk/archives/tom_cruise.jpg)
A Funfair.
That's actually Fun. And Fair.
Cans in a can.
A Cat, on a hot tin roof.
Quote from: Cain on October 23, 2011, 03:33:15 PM
Cans in a can.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gtlj_L5ocM !!
Quote from: Beardman Meow on October 23, 2011, 12:21:07 AM
A HAT THAT NEVER GOES OUT OF FASHION
IT'S CALLED A FEDORA.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v711/Marburger/dccd28ee.jpg)
SHOE-QUEEF: AIR POCKET IN THE HEEL MAKES A *PPFFFBLTLTT* NOISE WHEN YOU STEP DOWN, FOREVER
Quote from: I_Kicked_Kennedy on October 23, 2011, 08:41:11 PM
SHOE-QUEEF: AIR POCKET IN THE HEEL MAKES A *PPFFFBLTLTT* NOISE WHEN YOU STEP DOWN, FOREVER
My feet are apparently shaped like butts because whenever I wear sandals I get foot-farts with every step.
A Hat and face that never go out of fashion.
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/smileys/Hats_Micael_Reynaud.gif)
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 23, 2011, 05:16:35 PM
Quote from: Beardman Meow on October 23, 2011, 12:21:07 AM
A HAT THAT NEVER GOES OUT OF FASHION
IT'S CALLED A FEDORA.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v711/Marburger/dccd28ee.jpg)
Speaking of which...when will you be in NOLA this weekend?
MUSICAL INSTRUMENT THAT HOLDS A MARTINI.
CAT POOMP THAT TURNS INTO CHOCOLATE CANDIES YOU CAN WRAP AND GIVE TO NEW FRIENDS.
ARMY OF BEIBER ROBOTS CONTROLLED BY SINGLE REMOTE CONTROL.
GUILLOTINE THAT PLAYS CHEERFUL LULLABYE WHEN STRING IS PULLED.
FRISBEE THAT TURNS INTO FUZZY HANDCUFFS AND BUTT-PLUG FOR MAXIMUM PICNIC FUN.
HORDE OF S.W.A.T TRAINED SPIDER MONKEYS IN A FESTIVE BOX!
FAST FORWARD BUTTON FOR THE DMV
Is not my idea, but, sharing.
BACON FLAVORED DOUCHES.
SINGING TAMPONS
FISH FLAVOURED BACON
RANDOMLY OCCURRING LSD FLAVOURED NICOTINE PATCHES.
GIANT FRIENDLY CRABS
(http://i.imgur.com/xVCEJ.jpg)
TINY HATE-FILLED PANDAS
AMERICA!
oh... wait...
So you guys have had some good ideas, but they're nothing compared to my idea (that I'm actually seriously thinking about).
TRAVELING REALDOLL BROTHEL. E/O/T.
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on October 25, 2011, 03:07:15 PM
So you guys have had some good ideas, but they're nothing compared to my idea (that I'm actually seriously thinking about).
TRAVELING REALDOLL BROTHEL. E/O/T.
WINNAR!
Quote from: I_Kicked_Kennedy on October 23, 2011, 08:41:11 PM
SHOE-QUEEF: AIR POCKET IN THE HEEL MAKES A *PPFFFBLTLTT* NOISE WHEN YOU STEP DOWN, FOREVER
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02v8e6hADZ4
You need a sneaker that gives you a serious edge. You need shoes that make piggy sounds when you step down on the heel.
Isnt it time you had a shoe that made sounds like a piggy when you step down on the heel?
Genetically modified Battle Crabs of Death!
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/active%20ones/TankCrab-l1.jpg)
Quote from: BadBeast on October 28, 2011, 03:12:14 AM
Genetically modified Battle Crabs of Death!
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/active%20ones/TankCrab-l1.jpg)
Dude. :lulz:
Anything that involves crabs is automatically the Best Idea Ever!
(http://www.wildasia.org/images/380/CIAred-crabs.jpg)
Quote from: BadBeast on October 23, 2011, 09:23:53 PM
A Hat and face that never go out of fashion.
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/smileys/Hats_Micael_Reynaud.gif)
I could stare for hours.
Pillow shoulderpads.
High speed retractable/ extendable beard.
Cat penis condolence cards, complete with artifical cat penis.
:lulz:
Quote from: Cain on October 29, 2011, 12:06:30 PM
Cat penis condolence cards, complete with artifical cat penis.
I'd buy that shit. and I hate greeting cards.
Randomly picked Governments. Like Jury Duty. Compulsory compliance. Four year terms.(Unless you have a Doctor's note saying you are exempt because of your propensity for megalomania) Take the Politicking out of politics.
They had that for a while in Athens--didn't work out. Do you know somebody that absolutely should not hold a public office? In the lottery system, morons have a better chance of getting into office than competent people. (due to a high ratio of morons to competent people)
Well, the 'competent' don't seem to have much more of a chance under the present system. And there seems to be a rather high percentage of the corrupt and greedy megalomaniac type getting through. Most of the people I can see that "absolutely should not hold a public office" are either already there, or trying to climb the greasy pole of power by bribing and co-opting the aid of corrupt Corporate brokers. So even if they do get to the top, the favours they owe these Sharks will compromise any integrity they may have set out with. The random element will at least cut these Corporate Pirates out of the equation. I'd rather have a Government made up from normal people who haven't bartered their integrity away during their rise to power, than the present lot of Whores we seem to end up with.
So you guys know about micro-pigs, right? (http://www.micropiginfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/micro-pig-and-cats-and-yorkies.jpg)
How about micro-bacon!
Like regular bacon, but smaller! Therefore, less calories, cuter, and you can fit it in your pocket!
MICRO-BACON!
:bacon:
HOLD ME CLOSE TINY BACON
Quote from: BadBeast on November 01, 2011, 02:37:36 PMWell, the 'competent' don't seem to have much more of a chance under the present system. And there seems to be a rather high percentage of the corrupt and greedy megalomaniac type getting through. Most of the people I can see that "absolutely should not hold a public office" are either already there, or trying to climb the greasy pole of power by bribing and co-opting the aid of corrupt Corporate brokers. So even if they do get to the top, the favours they owe these Sharks will compromise any integrity they may have set out with. The random element will at least cut these Corporate Pirates out of the equation. I'd rather have a Government made up from normal people who haven't bartered their integrity away during their rise to power, than the present lot of Whores we seem to end up with.
But if you randomly select a moron, chances are pretty big some Corporate Pirate will find a way to buy them.
And even if you happen to pick a smart person, they'd still have to have a spine.
Similarly, the ones with a spine, might not necessarily have the best intentions.
All you do is let loose the system, which just means the one that can abuse the game the best, will win. And they don't have to be lottery-picked to win.
Now I believe that the Athenian government lottery-picked 300 people or so. That could potentially work very well if they'd keep each other in check from being bought out. Of course only if there's some sort of consensus among the general population that this would be a bad thing (which is not necessarily the case in the US, or many places).
Now I wonder, Cram said "that didn't work out", but did Athen really crumble because of their democratic lottery?
Also I remember there were some specific issues with the surrounding farmlands and such, and how they were (or weren't) part of this lottery, I forget how exactly, history's not one of my strong points.
Additionally I was going to reference this, but then I didn't need it, but it's still awesome/interesting, so here it is:
http://www.gandalf.it/stupid/stupid.htm
A bunch of essays on the nature of stupidity. Always a good thing to study!
BAZOOKA BRIEFCASE
That's my American dream.
Quote from: Triple Zero on November 01, 2011, 04:49:57 PM
Now I wonder, Cram said "that didn't work out", but did Athen really crumble because of their democratic lottery?
TBH I hadn't read up much about it. Here's the relevant vocab words:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sortition
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demarchy#Lottocracy
Quote from: The Payne on October 29, 2011, 12:05:10 PM
High speed retractable/ extendable beard.
:mittens:
Best. Idea. EVAR!
Formal trousers incorporating a Papua New Guinea penis gourd by Armani.
Complimentary break time bungee jumping at any skyscraper office.
Uncomfortable meeting room chairs, Torquemada style, so people get the hell on with it.
A SALADSHOOTERTM THAT FIRES VEGETABLE PARTICLES AT NEAR RELATIVISTIC SPEED AND NEVER RUNS OUT OF AMMUNITION (NOT JUST FUN, BUT COULD ALSO SOLVE WORLD HUNGER, A FEW DIFFERENT WAYS)
OPEN AUCTIONS INSTEAD OF VOTING AND BACKROOM DEALS FOR CASH (SOLVES MANY PROBLEMS WITH A GREEK MODEL)
A TRULY FRICTIONLESS LUBRICANT THAT NEVER DEGRADES IN ANY WAY NO MATTER HOW THINLY APPLIED (DITTO)
BUILDING MATERIALS WITH ENOUGH PLUTONIUM ALREADY MIXED IN THAT THEY NEVER REACH FREEZING TEMPERATURES AND SNOW FAILS TO ACCUMULATE ON THEM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on November 02, 2011, 10:44:33 PM
OPEN AUCTIONS INSTEAD OF VOTING AND BACKROOM DEALS FOR CASH (SOLVES MANY PROBLEMS WITH A GREEK MODEL)
A TRULY FRICTIONLESS LUBRICANT THAT NEVER DEGRADES IN ANY WAY NO MATTER HOW THINLY APPLIED (DITTO)
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on November 02, 2011, 10:44:33 PM
A SALADSHOOTERTM THAT FIRES VEGETABLE PARTICLES AT NEAR RELATIVISTIC SPEED AND NEVER RUNS OUT OF AMMUNITION (NOT JUST FUN, BUT COULD ALSO SOLVE WORLD HUNGER, A FEW DIFFERENT WAYS)
OPEN AUCTIONS INSTEAD OF VOTING AND BACKROOM DEALS FOR CASH (SOLVES MANY PROBLEMS WITH A GREEK MODEL)
A TRULY FRICTIONLESS LUBRICANT THAT NEVER DEGRADES IN ANY WAY NO MATTER HOW THINLY APPLIED (DITTO)
BUILDING MATERIALS WITH ENOUGH PLUTONIUM ALREADY MIXED IN THAT THEY NEVER REACH FREEZING TEMPERATURES AND SNOW FAILS TO ACCUMULATE ON THEM
:lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Richter on November 02, 2011, 09:53:38 PM
Formal trousers incorporating a Papua New Guinea penis gourd by Armani.
Complimentary break time bungee jumping at any skyscraper office.
Uncomfortable meeting room chairs, Torquemada style, so people get the hell on with it.
WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Richter on November 02, 2011, 09:53:38 PM
Uncomfortable meeting room chairs, Torquemada style, so people get the hell on with it.
:mittens:
I'd like to order six, extra-spiky style.
Note mine, but:
A COMPUTER VIRUS THAT CAUSES COMPUTERS TO RANDOMLY PLAY PRACTICAL JOKES ON PEOPLE.
Credit to The Wizard Joseph and 000
Quote from: Nigel on November 01, 2011, 03:01:39 PM
HOLD ME CLOSE TINY BACON
ME TOO. We can makes sandwiches.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94IdL3djJVU
food in liquid form... drinking a steak would be amazing.
Quote from: Beardman Meow on October 23, 2011, 12:31:18 AM
PRANK FLESHLIGHT BASED ON SNAKE NUT CAN.
MARKET IT AS "THE HAUNTED VAGINA".
Quote from: Beardman Meow on November 12, 2011, 09:39:53 AM
Quote from: Beardman Meow on October 23, 2011, 12:31:18 AM
PRANK FLESHLIGHT BASED ON SNAKE NUT CAN.
MARKET IT AS "THE HAUNTED VAGINA".
:potd:
omfg I'm tearing up from laughing so hard
Quote from: Nigel on October 22, 2011, 12:44:31 AM
CANNED PIZZA, CONTAINING BALLS OF DOUGH AND PIZZA SAUCE AND PEPPERONI AND CHEESE.
OK NOW YOU GO.
THIS IS THE GREATEST IDEA THAT HAS EVER OCCUR IN THE FOOD INDUSTRIAL INTERWEB SERVICES THAT I HAVE COMPLETELY SEEN WITH MY 1 OR BOTH EYES IN MY ENTIRE LIFE TO COME!... i think????
I want the moon to have babies and I want one of them so we can curl up in bed together and it can sing me songs to soothe me to sleep. Me and my baby moon.
I want a Mardi Gras ballgown made of the pelts of a thousand monkeys. Dyed purple. Floor length, of course: Costume de Reguer.
Laissez bon temps rouler!
What an awesome thread!
My only idea so far:
SELF-PINCHING NIPPLES FOR THE LAZY SADIST/MASOCHIST
Quote from: Waffle Iron on January 10, 2012, 11:15:51 AM
What an awesome thread!
My only idea so far:
SELF-PINCHING NIPPLES FOR THE LAZY SADIST/MASOCHIST
:lulz: they need to give you a position somewhere
I'll leave the details to your imagination
Quote from: Waffle Iron on January 10, 2012, 11:15:51 AM
What an awesome thread!
My only idea so far:
SELF-PINCHING NIPPLES FOR THE LAZY SADIST/MASOCHIST
oh god I'm crying from laughter :lulz: what the FUCK
How about we shave my back and make it into fake Persian rugs?
Comes preloaded with mites.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 10, 2012, 05:10:31 PM
How about we shave my back and make it into fake Persian rugs?
Comes preloaded with mites.
I bet it's already in a nice colored pattern too.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on January 10, 2012, 05:11:09 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 10, 2012, 05:10:31 PM
How about we shave my back and make it into fake Persian rugs?
Comes preloaded with mites.
I bet it's already in a nice colored pattern too.
Well, sure, if we don't wash it first.
(http://i.imgur.com/87qGb.jpg)
CAKE-UP™
Tired of wasting your valuable cake eating time putting on make-up everyday?
CAKE-UP™ offers you the most obvious solution. An outline of your desired face is placed on top of a delicious cake. You let your face gently fall into it, as you consume delicious, sugar laden baked goodness the make up is evenly applied.
Available in fat, gluten, and shame free.
Patent pending.
/
:hashishim:
I love you alty.
Dawww :oops:
MMMMMMWAH!!!
Quote from: Alty on March 03, 2012, 06:50:59 PM
CAKE-UP™
Tired of wasting your valuable cake eating time putting on make-up everyday?
CAKE-UP™ offers you the most obvious solution. An outline of your desired face is placed on top of a delicious cake. You let your face gently fall into it, as you consume delicious, sugar laden baked goodness the make up is evenly applied.
Available in fat, gluten, and shame free.
Patent pending.
/
:hashishim:
THIS IS BRILLIANT!
Quote from: Alty on March 03, 2012, 06:50:59 PM
CAKE-UP™
Tired of wasting your valuable cake eating time putting on make-up everyday?
CAKE-UP™ offers you the most obvious solution. An outline of your desired face is placed on top of a delicious cake. You let your face gently fall into it, as you consume delicious, sugar laden baked goodness the make up is evenly applied.
Available in fat, gluten, and shame free.
Patent pending.
/
:hashishim:
HOW DO YOU KNOW WOMEN SO WELL? IT'S LIKE YOU'RE IN OUR HEADS.
A METHANE-POWERED CAR THAT ALSO HAS INTAKES INSTALLED IN THE SEATS
NOW IT'S OKAY TO HAVE FARTY PEOPLE IN YOUR CAR; IT MAKES IT GO!
:lulz:
A HOUSE UNDER THE GROUND THAT NEVER GETS HOT AND IT'S GOT A THING LIKE A LAUNDRY CHUTE AT GROUND LEVEL THAT ONLY THE MAILMAN CAN OPEN AND HE DROPS YOUR PARCELS DOWN THERE SO YOUR NEIGHBORS DON'T STEAL YOUR SHIT IF YOU'RE NOT HOME
OH, AND DEHYDRATED ALCOHOL POWDER
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 08, 2012, 07:11:47 AM
OH, AND DEHYDRATED ALCOHOL POWDER
OMG I COULD DO LINES OF TEQUILA!!!
Here's one that's already taken:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v11/curiosity/th_Photo077.jpg) (http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v11/curiosity/?action=view¤t=Photo077.jpg)
Get people to eat healthier by making healthy things into trash!
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 08, 2012, 07:11:47 AM
A HOUSE UNDER THE GROUND THAT NEVER GETS HOT AND IT'S GOT A THING LIKE A LAUNDRY CHUTE AT GROUND LEVEL THAT ONLY THE MAILMAN CAN OPEN AND HE DROPS YOUR PARCELS DOWN THERE SO YOUR NEIGHBORS DON'T STEAL YOUR SHIT IF YOU'RE NOT HOME
OH, AND DEHYDRATED ALCOHOL POWDER
This is totally a thing in Australia, and probably in other places in the world that I don't know about:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coober_Pedy,_South_Australia
I personally love this sort of thing, since I don't like the heat and am also a troglodyte.
Quote from: Cainad on April 08, 2012, 03:42:20 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 08, 2012, 07:11:47 AM
A HOUSE UNDER THE GROUND THAT NEVER GETS HOT AND IT'S GOT A THING LIKE A LAUNDRY CHUTE AT GROUND LEVEL THAT ONLY THE MAILMAN CAN OPEN AND HE DROPS YOUR PARCELS DOWN THERE SO YOUR NEIGHBORS DON'T STEAL YOUR SHIT IF YOU'RE NOT HOME
OH, AND DEHYDRATED ALCOHOL POWDER
This is totally a thing in Australia, and probably in other places in the world that I don't know about:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coober_Pedy,_South_Australia
I personally love this sort of thing, since I don't like the heat and am also a troglodyte.
Neeeeat!
Quote from: navkat on April 08, 2012, 04:37:19 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 08, 2012, 07:14:01 AM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 08, 2012, 07:11:47 AM
OH, AND DEHYDRATED ALCOHOL POWDER
OMG I COULD DO LINES OF TEQUILA!!!
"IT BURNS SO GOOARGHMFG!"
*Thud*
I COULD ENCRUST THE RIM OF MY MARGARITA WITH MOAR TEQUILA! FUCK SALT!
Ready-made caffeine IV drips.
RITALIN PEZ DISPENSER.
MESCALINE TOOTHPASTE
LSD ROULETTE. "Who got the hit and who just ate pieces of paper with Spongebob's face on them?" WE MAY NOT KNOW FOR 20 MINUTES.
Quote from: navkat on April 08, 2012, 06:48:53 PM
LSD ROULETTE. "Who got the hit and who just ate pieces of paper with Spongebob's face on them?" WE MAY NOT KNOW FOR 20 MINUTES.
We used to play that. :lulz:
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 08, 2012, 06:42:46 PM
MESCALINE TOOTHPASTE
YES. THIS IS THE ACTUAL BEST IDEA EVER.
Peel and stick neck ties.
A robot that trims your beard while you're sleeping. New surprises every morning!
A heard of wildebeests in every bedroom. Gnu surprises every morning!
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 08, 2012, 10:12:59 AM
Here's one that's already taken:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v11/curiosity/th_Photo077.jpg) (http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v11/curiosity/?action=view¤t=Photo077.jpg)
Get people to eat healthier by making healthy things into trash!
Who the hell wants a bubble gum flavored apple?
Quote from: Sita on April 09, 2012, 03:37:51 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 08, 2012, 10:12:59 AM
Here's one that's already taken:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v11/curiosity/th_Photo077.jpg) (http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v11/curiosity/?action=view¤t=Photo077.jpg)
Get people to eat healthier by making healthy things into trash!
Who the hell wants a bubble gum flavored apple?
I have a feeling that after the initial novelty period, flavored apples will fade into historical trivia.
Quote from: Sita on April 09, 2012, 03:37:51 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 08, 2012, 10:12:59 AM
Here's one that's already taken:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v11/curiosity/th_Photo077.jpg) (http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v11/curiosity/?action=view¤t=Photo077.jpg)
Get people to eat healthier by making healthy things into trash!
Who the hell wants a bubble gum flavored apple?
Me. Gimme!
Nylons that don't run.
Oh wait, that was done in the 1930's. And kept off the market.
FUCK.
Nitrile medical gloves with mini air conditioners in the fingertips so you can take a pair off and still have cool, dry hands when you put on the next pair.
A BANGLE BRACELET THAT'S REALLY A BUTANE LIGHTER SO PEOPLE QUIT PUTTING YOUR SHIT IN THEIR POCKETS
E-BOOKS WITH REAL PAGES
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 10, 2012, 01:15:23 AM
E-BOOKS WITH REAL PAGES AND EXUDE NEW BOOK SMELL
improved.
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 01:40:15 AM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 10, 2012, 01:15:23 AM
E-BOOKS WITH REAL PAGES AND EXUDE NEW BOOK SMELL AND THE BINDING FALLS APART THE FIRST TIME YOU USE IT.
improved.
More better.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 10, 2012, 02:00:08 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 01:44:33 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 10, 2012, 01:41:03 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 01:40:15 AM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 10, 2012, 01:15:23 AM
E-BOOKS WITH REAL PAGES AND EXUDE MUSTY BOOK SMELL AND THE BINDING FALLS APART THE FIRST TIME YOU USE IT AND YOU FIND SQUISHED SILVERFISH FROM THE 1930'S IN IT
improved.
More better.
Can't fix it. :lol:
I just did.
LIES! :crankey:
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 02:02:01 AM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 10, 2012, 02:00:08 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 01:44:33 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 10, 2012, 01:41:03 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 01:40:15 AM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 10, 2012, 01:15:23 AM
E-BOOKS WITH REAL PAGES AND EXUDE MUSTY MILDOODY OLD BOOK SMELL AND THE BINDING FALLS APART THE FIRST TIME YOU USE IT AND THE PAGES CRUMBLE AND YOU FIND SQUISHED SILVERFISH FROM THE 1930'S IN IT AND THOSE WORMS THAT CHEW LITTLE TUNNELS AND PASSAGES HIGHLIGHTED AND UNDERLINED AND MORONIC NOTES IN THE MARGINS
improved.
More better.
Can't fix it. :lol:
I just did.
LIES! :crankey:
TROOF! :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 10, 2012, 02:09:00 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 02:02:01 AM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 10, 2012, 02:00:08 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 01:44:33 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 10, 2012, 01:41:03 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 01:40:15 AM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 10, 2012, 01:15:23 AM
E-BOOKS WITH REAL PAGES AND EXUDE MUSTY MILDEWY OLD BOOK OR CRISP, CLEAN, NEW PRINT INK AND PAGE SMELL SMELL AND THE BINDING FALLS APART THE FIRST TIME YOU USE IT AND THE PAGES CRUMBLE AND YOU FIND SQUISHED SILVERFISH FROM THE 1930'S IN IT AND THOSE WORMS THAT CHEW LITTLE TUNNELS AND PASSAGES HIGHLIGHTED AND UNDERLINED AND MORONIC NOTES IN THE MARGINS
improved.
More better.
Can't fix it. :lol:
I just did.
LIES! :crankey:
TROOF! :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
Compromise?
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 02:55:45 AM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 10, 2012, 02:09:00 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 02:02:01 AM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 10, 2012, 02:00:08 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 01:44:33 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 10, 2012, 01:41:03 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 01:40:15 AM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 10, 2012, 01:15:23 AM
E-BOOKS WITH REAL PAGES AND EXUDE MUSTY MILDEWY OLD BOOK OR CRISP, CLEAN, NEW PRINT INK AND PAGE SMELL SMELL AND THE BINDING FALLS APART THE FIRST TIME YOU USE IT AND THE PAGES CRUMBLE AND YOU FIND SQUISHED SILVERFISH FROM THE 1930'S IN IT AND THOSE WORMS THAT CHEW LITTLE TUNNELS AND PASSAGES HIGHLIGHTED AND UNDERLINED AND MORONIC NOTES IN THE MARGINS
improved.
More better.
Can't fix it. :lol:
I just did.
LIES! :crankey:
TROOF! :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
Compromise?
Works for me. Hey, maybe the book could have 23 different surprise odors...COLLECT THEM ALL!
App that takes all the "sport" out of job searching by assessing all the openings in the area for which you're qualified, removes the ones you aren't going to win and auto-submits you for the top remainder, tailoring your cover letter by aggregating all the data on the company's website and compiling it into a series of key phrases like "exciting team", "spirit of excellence," "challenge-oriented" and "outstanding patient care experience" and peppering the letter with the phrases that get the highest "impact likelihood" score.
The app simultaneously gathers data via google and facebook about the company, their "mission statement," the HR department and the person holding your interview and pepares a two-page report whose purpose is to groom you for the interview, complete with a synopsis, appearance guide and a list of bulleted key points to mention. It does this using the same dirty data mining techniques used to market THEIR bullshit to YOU. You don't NEED to know that the company picnic/softball game is in June or of the ovewhelming frequency to order cantonese on Fridays based on employee tweets about Golden Panda. You aren't even TOLD the HR director's Albrtson's Shopper keytag data revealed the purchase of 360 cans of Fancy Feast, 100 bottles of red wine and zero male grooming products in the last 6 months. Anonymous Usage Statistics takes care of that FOR you! You just know to mention your excellent swing, a love of Kung Pao Chicken and how you never married because animals are the only souls whose lives are worth a damn!
This report is emailed to your smartphone so you can cram in the lobby the last few minutes before the interview. You don't even have to invest any of your time caring about this shit.
Optonal: If you "Go Pro," the app can be set to schedule interviews around your drug usage! Just enter your favorite drugs and the app will send a pop-up with a reminder 24 hours before you need to abstain for the most likely date of a drug screen based on data leaked by Quest labs and culled from other fine employee background data services!
Download today!
Holy fuckballs, Nav, that's diabolically genius.
I would buy that app and I don't even need a job.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 10, 2012, 03:05:05 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 02:55:45 AM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 10, 2012, 02:09:00 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 02:02:01 AM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 10, 2012, 02:00:08 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 01:44:33 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 10, 2012, 01:41:03 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 10, 2012, 01:40:15 AM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 10, 2012, 01:15:23 AM
E-BOOKS WITH REAL PAGES AND EXUDE MUSTY MILDEWY OLD BOOK OR CRISP, CLEAN, NEW PRINT INK AND PAGE SMELL SMELL AND THE BINDING FALLS APART THE FIRST TIME YOU USE IT AND THE PAGES CRUMBLE AND YOU FIND SQUISHED SILVERFISH FROM THE 1930'S IN IT AND THOSE WORMS THAT CHEW LITTLE TUNNELS AND PASSAGES HIGHLIGHTED AND UNDERLINED AND MORONIC NOTES IN THE MARGINS
improved.
More better.
Can't fix it. :lol:
I just did.
LIES! :crankey:
TROOF! :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
Compromise?
Works for me. Hey, maybe the book could have 23 different surprise odors...COLLECT THEM ALL!
:argh!: :crankey: STOP IMPROVING MY IDEAS!
ALSO
FART SCENTED MUSTACHE WAX!
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: all of it.
INFINITE PORN KEYCHAIN
DOWNLOADS 100MB OF PORN EVERY SECOND AND FILTERS OUT ALL THE UGLY BITCHES.
A PURSE THAT IT TAKES BOTH HANDS TO OPEN
SO NOTHING ACCIDENTALLY FALLS OUT
AND TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE GOATSE
PS LINING = RED
Brain pills to help those who are questioning their faith.
Quote
And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:
If thine brain offend thee, take NEW! BELIEVITOL! and stop suffering from all that pesky doubting and free will that could land you in eternal hellfire. IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT! TRY NEW! BELIEVITOL! TODAY!!!
That's right. Sin is a disease, and I believe we can cure it with Dr00gZ!
A coffee-enema stand called Jitterbutts.
Or Pick-me-butt-up
Or Booty-Shots
Or Booty-Shooty
Quote from: Alty on April 25, 2012, 09:22:08 PM
A coffee-enema stand called Jitterbutts.
Or Pick-me-butt-up
Or Booty-Shots
Or Booty-Shooty
A buttplug that holds your cell phone called Booty Call.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 25, 2012, 10:30:20 PM
Quote from: Alty on April 25, 2012, 09:22:08 PM
A coffee-enema stand called Jitterbutts.
Or Pick-me-butt-up
Or Booty-Shots
Or Booty-Shooty
A buttplug that TRANSMITS and RECEIVES cell phone calls throughout your Booty Call.
Fixed.
Quote from: Alty on April 25, 2012, 10:34:00 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 25, 2012, 10:30:20 PM
Quote from: Alty on April 25, 2012, 09:22:08 PM
A coffee-enema stand called Jitterbutts.
Or Pick-me-butt-up
Or Booty-Shots
Or Booty-Shooty
A buttplug that TRANSMITS and RECEIVES cell phone calls throughout your Booty Call.
Fixed.
Yes. :lulz:
Quote from: Nigel on April 26, 2012, 12:44:37 AM
Quote from: Alty on April 25, 2012, 10:34:00 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 25, 2012, 10:30:20 PM
Quote from: Alty on April 25, 2012, 09:22:08 PM
A coffee-enema stand called Jitterbutts.
Or Pick-me-butt-up
Or Booty-Shots
Or Booty-Shooty
A buttplug that TRANSMITS and RECEIVES cell phone calls throughout your Booty Call.
Fixed.
Yes. :lulz:
BUT CAN IT BE SET TO 'VIBRATE'?
A bluetooth microphone for your phone that's designed to be worn in the butt.
WE call it "You heard me"
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 26, 2012, 12:46:53 AM
Quote from: Nigel on April 26, 2012, 12:44:37 AM
Quote from: Alty on April 25, 2012, 10:34:00 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 25, 2012, 10:30:20 PM
Quote from: Alty on April 25, 2012, 09:22:08 PM
A coffee-enema stand called Jitterbutts.
Or Pick-me-butt-up
Or Booty-Shots
Or Booty-Shooty
A buttplug that TRANSMITS and RECEIVES cell phone calls throughout your Booty Call.
Fixed.
Yes. :lulz:
BUT CAN IT BE SET TO 'VIBRATE'?
Yes. IT WILL ALSO TWEET AND FAX THE QUANTITY, FREQUENCY, AND DURATION OF YOUR ORGASMS.
Quote from: Alty on April 26, 2012, 12:50:27 AM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 26, 2012, 12:46:53 AM
Quote from: Nigel on April 26, 2012, 12:44:37 AM
Quote from: Alty on April 25, 2012, 10:34:00 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 25, 2012, 10:30:20 PM
Quote from: Alty on April 25, 2012, 09:22:08 PM
A coffee-enema stand called Jitterbutts.
Or Pick-me-butt-up
Or Booty-Shots
Or Booty-Shooty
A buttplug that TRANSMITS and RECEIVES cell phone calls throughout your Booty Call.
Fixed.
Yes. :lulz:
BUT CAN IT BE SET TO 'VIBRATE'?
Yes. IT WILL ALSO TWEET AND FAX THE QUANTITY, FREQUENCY, AND DURATION OF YOUR ORGASMS.
NEEDS A FACEBOOK APP
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 26, 2012, 12:53:19 AM
Quote from: Alty on April 26, 2012, 12:50:27 AM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 26, 2012, 12:46:53 AM
Quote from: Nigel on April 26, 2012, 12:44:37 AM
Quote from: Alty on April 25, 2012, 10:34:00 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 25, 2012, 10:30:20 PM
Quote from: Alty on April 25, 2012, 09:22:08 PM
A coffee-enema stand called Jitterbutts.
Or Pick-me-butt-up
Or Booty-Shots
Or Booty-Shooty
A buttplug that TRANSMITS and RECEIVES cell phone calls throughout your Booty Call.
Fixed.
Yes. :lulz:
BUT CAN IT BE SET TO 'VIBRATE'?
Yes. IT WILL ALSO TWEET AND FAX THE QUANTITY, FREQUENCY, AND DURATION OF YOUR ORGASMS.
NEEDS A FACEBOOK APP
IT WILL ALSO RECORD THE SOUNDS AND HAVE THEM MASTERED AND RELEASED ON VINYL, SOON AVAILABLE FOR SALE IN YOUR LOCAL INDEPENDENT MUSIC SHOP.
Random electricity generators
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on April 26, 2012, 11:57:44 AM
SOON AVAILABLE FOR SALE IN YOUR LOCAL INDEPENDENT MUSIC SHOP.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... ahh. :lulz:
Thread delivers.
Quote from: Doktor M. Phox0 on April 26, 2012, 10:06:07 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on April 26, 2012, 11:57:44 AM
SOON AVAILABLE FOR SALE IN YOUR LOCAL INDEPENDENT MUSIC SHOP.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... ahh. :lulz:
Thread delivers.
There are actually a couple of independent music shops left in Norway.
Also:
EDIBLE CASSETTE TAPES!
Pocket Ninjas
A hat with an led display that reads your thoughts and scrolls them across your forehead.
Robotic Walrus
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 26, 2012, 10:08:02 PM
Quote from: Doktor M. Phox0 on April 26, 2012, 10:06:07 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on April 26, 2012, 11:57:44 AM
SOON AVAILABLE FOR SALE IN YOUR LOCAL INDEPENDENT MUSIC SHOP.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... ahh. :lulz:
Thread delivers.
There are actually a couple of independent music shops left in Norway.
My town has none, or maybe one, if a musical instrument shop that also sells the CDs of local country and danseband bands counts (I live in the Norwegian equivalent of Redneckistan).
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on April 27, 2012, 12:03:46 AM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 26, 2012, 10:08:02 PM
Quote from: Doktor M. Phox0 on April 26, 2012, 10:06:07 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on April 26, 2012, 11:57:44 AM
SOON AVAILABLE FOR SALE IN YOUR LOCAL INDEPENDENT MUSIC SHOP.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... ahh. :lulz:
Thread delivers.
There are actually a couple of independent music shops left in Norway.
My town has none, or maybe one, if a musical instrument shop that also sells the CDs of local country and danseband bands counts (I live in the Norwegian equivalent of Redneckistan).
Oslo has one, Bergen one or two and Trondheim one. I think. Mostly metal/rock, of course.
Quote from: Alty on April 25, 2012, 10:34:00 PM
A buttplug that TRANSMITS and RECEIVES.
ASS TO ASS!
Quote from: Cuddlefish on April 26, 2012, 11:55:10 PM
Pocket Ninjas
I have a pocketful of ninjas, actually, and a ninja tube.
NINJA LUBE FOR PROPER CARE AND MAINTENANCE OF NIGEL'S NINJA TUBE.
*whoop!*
"HO SO!"
Quote from: navkat on April 27, 2012, 04:31:01 AM
NINJA LUBE FOR PROPER CARE AND MAINTENANCE OF NIGEL'S NINJA TUBE.
*whoop!*
"HO SO!"
Ick.
I still want my Schadenfreude Theme Park.
Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on April 27, 2012, 06:11:36 AM
I still want my Schadenfreude Theme Park.
Yeah, you're going to fall on your face with that idea and I'm going to laugh SO HARD.
Self perpetuating self-perpetuating machines.
Quote from: Reverend What's-His-Name? on April 27, 2012, 11:58:17 AM
Self perpetuating self-perpetuating machines.
First rule of thermodynamics: don't talk about thermodynamics.
Self destructing self-destruct devices?
(http://img838.imageshack.us/img838/3218/1303149098uselessmachin.gif)
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 28, 2012, 07:18:33 PM
(http://img838.imageshack.us/img838/3218/1303149098uselessmachin.gif)
I want to make one of those.
It's called the "Ultimate Machine", first built by Claude Shannon (father of Information Theory) and thought up by Marvin Minsky.
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 28, 2012, 08:18:11 PM
It's called the "Ultimate Machine", first built by Claude Shannon (father of Information Theory) and thought up by Marvin Minsky.
Yeah, I saw directions for building one on the web somewhere a couple years ago, seems like it would be fun to have around.
That is quite addictive! i want on.
Nigel, do you have a link ready or shall i look into it myself?
(I'm being lazy again)
As I said I saw the link a couple of years ago, but if you PM me your address I could probably Google "ultimate machine" for you, print out the instructions, and send them to you in the mail.
Quote from: Nigel on April 28, 2012, 08:47:24 PM
As I said I saw the link a couple of years ago, but if you PM me your address I could probably Google "ultimate machine" for you, print out the instructions, and send them to you in the mail.
Best Idea Ever!
lmgtfy.com
Just made this today.
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/4e7d3add.jpg)
Quote from: Alty on April 30, 2012, 03:02:54 AM
Just made this today.
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/4e7d3add.jpg)
What the hell? :lulz:
You add two and take one. You can't take your own and you must do what it says. As a result Veggie Sunday was born. Also, cleaner pooping.
Ohhhhhh
I like it!
Also I was trying to figure out the banana's place in it all.
Why, banana? Why?
I could explain, but I think I'll let your brain go where it will with that one.
Quote from: Alty on April 30, 2012, 03:24:51 AM
I could explain, but I think I'll let your brain go where it will with that one.
:lulz:
Quote from: navkat on April 27, 2012, 11:55:24 AM
Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on April 27, 2012, 06:11:36 AM
I still want my Schadenfreude Theme Park.
Yeah, you're going to fall on your face with that idea and I'm going to laugh SO HARD.
:lulz:
At least there'll be one paying customer.
I know! We could put a stationary bike into an SUV so that the super rich can tone their legs while being driven to work...
What's that you say? They've already done it?
Fuck, I was going to make millions....
http://grist.org/list/suv-with-built-in-stationary-bike-its-like-biking-to-work-except-stupid-as-hell/
(http://grist.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/large.jpeg)
Quote from: Telarus on May 03, 2012, 06:26:53 AM
I know! We could put a stationary bike into an SUV so that the super rich can tone their legs while being driven to work...
What's that you say? They've already done it?
Fuck, I was going to make millions....
http://grist.org/list/suv-with-built-in-stationary-bike-its-like-biking-to-work-except-stupid-as-hell/
(http://grist.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/large.jpeg)
HEY NOW. This was supposed to be a thread of harmless and fun, innocent stupid...until you fucked it up with REAL stupid.
Quote from: Telarus on May 03, 2012, 06:26:53 AM
I know! We could put a stationary bike into an SUV so that the super rich can tone their legs while being driven to work...
What's that you say? They've already done it?
Fuck, I was going to make millions....
http://grist.org/list/suv-with-built-in-stationary-bike-its-like-biking-to-work-except-stupid-as-hell/
(http://grist.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/large.jpeg)
OH, AMERICA! :lol:
& then its 10:15
A self-operating robot that runs around punching libertarians in the face. Hard.
Quote from: Cuddlefish on May 05, 2012, 04:32:13 PM
A self-operating robot that runs around punching librarians in the face. Hard.
Quote from: navkat on May 05, 2012, 04:40:03 PM
Quote from: Cuddlefish on May 05, 2012, 04:32:13 PM
A self-operating robot that runs around punching librarians in the face. Hard.
Nope.
Definitely meant "libertarians."
Y u haet buks?
Quote from: Cuddlefish on May 05, 2012, 05:01:49 PM
Quote from: navkat on May 05, 2012, 04:40:03 PM
Quote from: Cuddlefish on May 05, 2012, 04:32:13 PM
A self-operating robot that runs around punching librarians in the face. Hard.
Nope. Definitely meant "libertarians."
Y u haet buks?
Nah. The silliness of the whole "librarians" thing made me giggle for some odd reason because it's just so absurd. I thought maybe it wasn't unique to me so I threw it into the air to see if it flew.
Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on May 03, 2012, 02:16:27 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 27, 2012, 11:55:24 AM
Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on April 27, 2012, 06:11:36 AM
I still want my Schadenfreude Theme Park.
Yeah, you're going to fall on your face with that idea and I'm going to laugh SO HARD.
:lulz:
At least there'll be one paying customer.
(http://i.imgur.com/iyopE.gif)
Bacon flavored failure.
TRANSCEND-DENTAL MEDITATION. Move beyond teeth with this special type of meditation that will make you grow a beak.
Kettle chips.
But made of wrought iron.
NUTRITIOUS! GOOD FOR ANEMICS!
Interplanetary sex robot paradise carved out of an asteroid!
(Insipred by This Twid Thread Here (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,32527.0/topicseen.html)
Hummingbirds genetically engineered to be carnivorous blood-drinkers that steal stolen blood from mosquitoes in mid air and breed prolifically with other humming birds with 100% phenotype expression.
DEET free Hummingbird repellant.