Messages

No idea if it's already been mentioned here, but this site is intriguing, and might conceivably be a place for gentle trolling and/or recruiting:
http://atheismplus.com/

Atheism+ is a safe space for people to discuss how religion affects everyone and to apply skepticism and critical thinking to everything, including social issues like sexism, racism, GLBT issues, politics, poverty, and crime.

Heard about it from this vice.com article.

I've had this come up in a number of different discussions on-line.  Even though I pretty much agree with them down the line - I still kind of resent it.  I mean, I get what trying to be done here, the folks at FTB are trying to construct a political identity for Atheists, in a distinctly American context, to serve hopefully as a counter balance to the religious right.  But my Atheism isn't the rock bottom of my personal identity, so why would I want to build my political identity on that?

More to the point if you're basing anything in your identity on your lack of belief in something, that just seems wrong at some level.

And that "safe place" thing implies they're huddling up for some good old collective fart breathing.

I don't know about that.  I understand the idea behind a "safe place" concept, and while it frequently does turn into just another echo chamber where you can tune out WRONGTHINK - al la FR or DU for the political junkie - it can be useful as a controlled discussion.  Whether it becomes the former or the latter is up to those who run it.  I have seen both, they do exist. 

Whether the folks at FTB can swing it or not - I'm agnostic about, just because FTB RAEPS the corpse of irony just by its name, but whatever.

No idea if it's already been mentioned here, but this site is intriguing, and might conceivably be a place for gentle trolling and/or recruiting:
http://atheismplus.com/

Atheism+ is a safe space for people to discuss how religion affects everyone and to apply skepticism and critical thinking to everything, including social issues like sexism, racism, GLBT issues, politics, poverty, and crime.

Heard about it from this vice.com article.

I've had this come up in a number of different discussions on-line.  Even though I pretty much agree with them down the line - I still kind of resent it.  I mean, I get what trying to be done here, the folks at FTB are trying to construct a political identity for Atheists, in a distinctly American context, to serve hopefully as a counter balance to the religious right.  But my Atheism isn't the rock bottom of my personal identity, so why would I want to build my political identity on that?

More to the point if you're basing anything in your identity on your lack of belief in something, that just seems wrong at some level.

My son just said to his friend, "Well aren't you just a dandy little ball of fuck".

I don't know how you feel about your child saying that, Nigel, but holy shit that's full of magic and win.

I've just enrolled to study law.

Where is the *shitting myself* emoticon?

Law school or something else?

A Bachelor of Laws, yep. I think it works a little different in the US but here it's a 4-year undergrad course and then the bar exam to qualify to practice.

Oh ok, I didn't realize you we're out of the country (pardon my Amero-centric view of things, it's completely unconscious and mostly harmless). 

When I lost my job at HugeMegaBank, I looked into either going to law school or settling for a paralegal certification instead.  Ultimately I decided that settling was a better option because I thought that the chances for an upside result was better getting my cert than the chances for an upside from Law School. In the states there's a larger demand for skilled paralegals than there are for first year Attorneys.

Which isn't to say that there's a lot either can do, unemployment does still suck.

But good on you anyway.  The law can be a fascinating topic that you can lose yourself in.  Just try not to bore folks at parties when talking about your work.  (I learned that lesson the hard way)

I've just enrolled to study law.

Where is the *shitting myself* emoticon?

Law school or something else?

Yeah, was me. I'm not the nerdiest guy in the world. I like dorky shit as much as the next guy, so I hang out with nerds and dorks and fanboys from time to time. And sometimes they have nerds and dorks and fanboys that they're friends with and therefore I run into, and socialize with. I play D & D from time to time with them (been ages though).

Then there's always that one guy who you're friendly with for a couple of minutes until he starts talking about his cat girl D & D character and shows you pictures of her in anime style that he drew. Everything about this guy, his mannerisms, the shit he says, the depth of his interests, they all tell you this is the dorkiest guy you'll ever meet. And instead of feeling pity or mockery, or even the monkey urge to beat up someone lower than you on the food chain of dorks, you feel unsettled, you feel revulsion. Because you keep coming back to this catgirl character that he's playing, and how much he seems to enjoy playing this catgirl character.


Oh dear god, I think the catgirl is hitting on my priest character.....

I've had that exact experience. 

Word of advice, if you feel like pointing out the character traits that make so many folks find him off putting and trying to help because you're sick of the whining on why he can't get a date, don't.  You'd have a better time just hitting your head on a brick wall.

Oh, I had no interest in helping this guy. I had just met him, and already figured that he was beyond help.

You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.

Maybe you could find some hippies, Pagans, or atheists to take it out on? That's what I do.

I would but something about that doesn't feel quite right.  Fucks like that deserved to be fucked with because of who they are, not because I married a woman with an OxyContin addiction.

It's like with CG and Frank.  I shit on him because he deserves to be shit on, not because I disagree with his politics.

OF COURSE I am beating up on myself, Twid.  Someone need their ass kicked, and I can't really take it out on anyone else right now.  I like to think of it as sparing with myself, so that when she is better and not dealing with life on the emotional level of a spoilt child (again, I can't blame her, withdrawals from opiates kind of make you not yourself, and addiction does tend to make people into selfish brats in the first place), I will be able to simply, effectively and without anger point out how we're financially fucked for the foreseeable future because of this, and that change here consists of more than just quitting the Oxys, but also fundamentally transforming how she deals with her money.

I gave her entire paycheck to her dealer last night, I'm a little miffed about that.  I'm a little miffed that she wanted me to pick her up an iTunes card last night, when were having my mother make up the shortfall in our mortgage this month.  That's gotta go somewhere and I can't really direct it all at her (beyond the most bland and emotionless expressions) at the moment.

If that's what you want/need to do, then have at it. Just thought you were being unfair to yourself.

I appreciate it being pointed out, Twid.  Even if I ultimately don't take the advice, it sometimes helps to here that you're being to hard on yourself and might benefit from lightening the fuck up.

OF COURSE I am beating up on myself, Twid.  Someone need their ass kicked, and I can't really take it out on anyone else right now.  I like to think of it as sparing with myself, so that when she is better and not dealing with life on the emotional level of a spoilt child (again, I can't blame her, withdrawals from opiates kind of make you not yourself, and addiction does tend to make people into selfish brats in the first place), I will be able to simply, effectively and without anger point out how we're financially fucked for the foreseeable future because of this, and that change here consists of more than just quitting the Oxys, but also fundamentally transforming how she deals with her money.

I gave her entire paycheck to her dealer last night, I'm a little miffed about that.  I'm a little miffed that she wanted me to pick her up an iTunes card last night, when were having my mother make up the shortfall in our mortgage this month.  That's gotta go somewhere and I can't really direct it all at her (beyond the most bland and emotionless expressions) at the moment.

Yeah, was me. I'm not the nerdiest guy in the world. I like dorky shit as much as the next guy, so I hang out with nerds and dorks and fanboys from time to time. And sometimes they have nerds and dorks and fanboys that they're friends with and therefore I run into, and socialize with. I play D & D from time to time with them (been ages though).

Then there's always that one guy who you're friendly with for a couple of minutes until he starts talking about his cat girl D & D character and shows you pictures of her in anime style that he drew. Everything about this guy, his mannerisms, the shit he says, the depth of his interests, they all tell you this is the dorkiest guy you'll ever meet. And instead of feeling pity or mockery, or even the monkey urge to beat up someone lower than you on the food chain of dorks, you feel unsettled, you feel revulsion. Because you keep coming back to this catgirl character that he's playing, and how much he seems to enjoy playing this catgirl character.


Oh dear god, I think the catgirl is hitting on my priest character.....

I've had that exact experience. 

Word of advice, if you feel like pointing out the character traits that make so many folks find him off putting and trying to help because you're sick of the whining on why he can't get a date, don't.  You'd have a better time just hitting your head on a brick wall.

No worries, Garbo.  Even if you did come off as douchey (which I don't think you did) it was nowhere near as bad as some of the things she's texted me over the last few days while detoxing.

She got the wild hair yesterday that she was going to just stick around for detox, but not for the program afterwards.  I think I put the kibosh on that last night by invoking the ultimate in manipulative emotional bombs ("Kyle deserves the best chance at getting his mother back healthy.  Even if you don't "need" the program, staying the full term improves your chances of getting and staying healthy"), but time will tell.   Thankfully I had a PhD program in emotional manipulation growing up, so at least my Mom gave me some life skills.

Good luck, IJ. I know it's rough going but from what I've seen of you so far, you're made out of stuff that can make it.

Why thank you, Miss Nigel.  I hope you're right.  I actually can't find my copy of the Meditations right now.   Suspect the boy stole it before he went to his Dad's for the weekend.  We had a rather far reaching discussion last night that started with Ender's Game went into the complicated relationship he has with his biological father and ended with me throwing passages from my heavily highlight copy and trying to get him to think about applying it to his relationship him.  He took it to places I didn't think he would ever take it too.  He may not grow into a GREAT man, but he will grow into a good man.  And that's better than I am.

Someone earlier mentioned anime avatars and untrustworthyness:

To be specific, that's moe (?), a particularly squicktastic segment of anime, portraying underage girls in just barely not-porn style.

Only people I know who like moe are creepers.

I thought it was Lolicon?  Fuck, I hate myself for even knowing that.

I don't know if things are going full on O.K., Garbo.  I've been re-reading the Meditations myself and trying to apply it to the now though, and it seems to help out.  Not because I agree with the premises, but because I think the person I'm called to be right now is a bit more stoic than my normal self.

Things I have learned in the past week being the RESPONSIBLE adult:

1. I am more capable than I gave myself credit for.  I'm not exactly good at this shit, but I haven't burned the house down.  Yet.

2. If you agree to help clean up the finances of an addict, it helps to have deep pockets.  Barring that, it helps to have an annual holiday of conspicuous consumerism that you can shrug off in favor of getting your finances in order.

3.  My son is a lot more responsible and adult that either I or his mother gave him credit for.  Certainly much more than I was at 14.

4.  You almost have to be perfectly stoic when dealing with text messages from someone detoxing.  Because anything you say can and will be misconstrued and used against you.

5.  Somewhat related to all 4 points above, I think one of the few gifts I'm going to be able to give my boy this Christmas will be the most meaningful to me and the lamest gift he's ever gotten.  A copy of The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius and a highlighter.