Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 25, 2009, 02:26:50 am

Title: Rev Roger, Welcome to the Monkeyhouse, part 7: Born for America
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 25, 2009, 02:26:50 am
When people ask me why I hate America, I am honestly puzzled...until I realize that they are talking about The United States, which is a different - and far inferior thing - altogether.  The United States is a collection of fat retards with an entitlement complex, who couldn't function in America to save their lives.

Let's get one thing perfectly clear:  John Wayne and Ronald Reagan did not represent America.  No, they represented the willfully ignorant know-nothings that took the United States and shat all over it, while the citizens of said shithole lapped it up and begged for more.  No, if you want AMERICA, you have to look farther back, to freaks like Patrick Henry and Benjamin Franklin, who faced a noose for freedom and STILL had time to get their monkey on like HEROES.

And who, today, stands for America?  Who, today, stands for really scary freedom and badfun?  Do YOU?  Have you puked blood and shat out intestines in pursuit of a good time?  Have you stomped around like a madman while braying obscenities at people who tried to tell you that freedom is a magnetic sticky and the right to agree with the president in wartime?   Have you rejected the safety and warmth of the sty, and laughed at the piggies who stay inside and tell you to shut up and sit down like a GOOD American?

I was born for this shit.  I was born for America, and I've about fucking had it with the jackasses that drag my dream around like a drugged date.  I will not tolerate any further abuses of the broken dream that a few dozen maniacs came up with, all those years ago, when fun was legal and the United States made no truce with kings just because they wore expensive suits and called themselves "presidents" and "congressmen".  I've fucking had all I can take, and now I'm gonna DO something about it.

But do not expect The Good Reverend to go out in some romantic blaze of glory on the six o'clock news.  No, mama raised no fools, and I'm not done fucking with you yet.  But what I WILL do, what I AM doing, is beginning to do what we all talk about, what we sometimes do, just to get the smiley-hat-cig emote from our peers.  And what is that, you may ask?  Fuck you.  I'm beginning to be SERIOUS about having a good time, and that means employing the KYFMS rule.  But there will be punishment of the piggies.  Oh, yes.

I've had it up to HERE with these jackasses, and I'm not going to take it anymore.

Or Kill Me.
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Welcome to the Monkeyhouse, part 7: Born for America
Post by: Requia ☣ on February 25, 2009, 03:30:33 am
This one made me cry it was so awesome.     :cry:
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Welcome to the Monkeyhouse, part 7: Born for America
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 25, 2009, 07:17:35 am
I was born for America, and I've about fucking had it with the jackasses that drag my dream around like a drugged date.

 :lulz:

Roger, in some ways, if you can ignore the hippies, I think you would love Burning Man, where all regard for safety is kicked to the curb.

Inasmuch as the original spirit remains.
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Welcome to the Monkeyhouse, part 7: Born for America
Post by: Template on February 25, 2009, 07:50:10 pm
I was born for America, and I've about fucking had it with the jackasses that drag my dream around like a drugged date.

 :lulz:

Roger, in some ways, if you can ignore the hippies, I think you would love Burning Man, where all regard for safety is kicked to the curb.

Inasmuch as the original spirit remains.

it only takes an hour to turn burning man into burning men

why ignore them when they can amuse one so?

Edit: KMFMS
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Welcome to the Monkeyhouse, part 7: Born for America
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on February 25, 2009, 08:36:20 pm
:mittens:
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Welcome to the Monkeyhouse, part 7: Born for America
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 25, 2009, 11:52:32 pm
This one made me cry it was so awesome.     :cry:

My hate gland went nuts.  I swear to fucking God.
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Welcome to the Monkeyhouse, part 7: Born for America
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 25, 2009, 11:53:16 pm
I was born for America, and I've about fucking had it with the jackasses that drag my dream around like a drugged date.

 :lulz:

Roger, in some ways, if you can ignore the hippies, I think you would love Burning Man, where all regard for safety is kicked to the curb.

Inasmuch as the original spirit remains.

I can't ignore the hippies.   :sad:
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Welcome to the Monkeyhouse, part 7: Born for America
Post by: Jasper on February 26, 2009, 01:12:10 am
See current sig line.
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Welcome to the Monkeyhouse, part 7: Born for America
Post by: Sepia on February 26, 2009, 06:41:46 am
Roger, you were born to not disappoint.