1
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: Yesterday at 01:37:22 am »
Well, caught another 6 day ban on Facebook for referring to American Christians as the Taliban.
News:
PD.com: The most patriotic board in America - jointly run by an Australian, an Irishman, a filthy Dutchman, a Canadian and some guy from the West Indies.
Show Posts
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
2
Apple Talk / 2022 Rant
« on: Yesterday at 12:13:06 am »
Hi, I'm still Hamish Howl, and I still hate humans.
Things are looking pretty bleak out there, in theocratic, Handmaiden's Tale kinda way. I warned you guys about this shit way back in 2003, but you didn't listen...But that's okay, because I knew you wouldn't listen. Nobody ever does. I am Cassandra with a dad bod.
But now the coming weird times are HERE, and warnings are of no further use, so I guess I should be telling you how to get by in this dystopian nightmare they built around us while we were dozing. I do in fact have useful advice, so let me just start off with the important bit:
Anyone can be Hamish Howl.
That's right. Anyone at all can Hamish, and everyone can Howl. Ask yourself this: In the nightmare future in which we live, would you rather be a speed bump, or would you be a mad scientist that corrupts everything around you?
This is really a no-brainer. There's nothing you or I can do to stop the relentless tide of po'bucker trash, but we CAN make their fucking eyes bleed. You can inflict yourself on anyone who feels the NEED to make excuses for all this mishagoss going on around us. Whether it's a knee in the nuts or parking lot bumper sticker antics, OR JUST "ATTENDING" CHURCH on Sunday, you can hand those bastards back all the misery which they have felt the need to hand to US.
Let's face facts: We're doomed. But like mama always told me, Save your brightest smile for hell, Darlings!"
You better be Hamish. You'd better Howl. It's your last chance.
Things are looking pretty bleak out there, in theocratic, Handmaiden's Tale kinda way. I warned you guys about this shit way back in 2003, but you didn't listen...But that's okay, because I knew you wouldn't listen. Nobody ever does. I am Cassandra with a dad bod.
But now the coming weird times are HERE, and warnings are of no further use, so I guess I should be telling you how to get by in this dystopian nightmare they built around us while we were dozing. I do in fact have useful advice, so let me just start off with the important bit:
Anyone can be Hamish Howl.
That's right. Anyone at all can Hamish, and everyone can Howl. Ask yourself this: In the nightmare future in which we live, would you rather be a speed bump, or would you be a mad scientist that corrupts everything around you?
This is really a no-brainer. There's nothing you or I can do to stop the relentless tide of po'bucker trash, but we CAN make their fucking eyes bleed. You can inflict yourself on anyone who feels the NEED to make excuses for all this mishagoss going on around us. Whether it's a knee in the nuts or parking lot bumper sticker antics, OR JUST "ATTENDING" CHURCH on Sunday, you can hand those bastards back all the misery which they have felt the need to hand to US.
Let's face facts: We're doomed. But like mama always told me, Save your brightest smile for hell, Darlings!"
You better be Hamish. You'd better Howl. It's your last chance.
3
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: June 29, 2022, 08:36:54 pm »
I have a proper rant percolating for the first time since 2016 or so.
4
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Just to all the American Spags
« on: June 29, 2022, 03:31:57 am »
Assumes things will get better.
5
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Just to all the American Spags
« on: June 28, 2022, 09:42:18 pm »Five years ago if you told me there was going to be a systematic and targeted attack, dismantling of women's / LGBT / Minority rights I would have taken it as a bit of hyperbole.
Now I would be surprised if interracial marriage is still legal within the next two years.
I am terrified at the thought of any developed nation, deliberately driving its own populace to poverty, and embracing full on fundamentalist values but here we are.
Be safe, wherever you are.
I do recall forseeing this all back in 2002/2003 on this very board.
I thought I was going a little over the top, but it turns out my bitter pessimism was actually idiotic optimism.
6
Only Maybe Arts Lab / Re: WEIRDOVERSE
« on: June 26, 2022, 07:09:31 am »
This is one of your best.
7
Propaganda Depository / Re: ESP in One Month practice
« on: June 24, 2022, 03:01:05 am »
There is only one Hirley0.
8
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: June 23, 2022, 12:26:39 am »
The ruckus at work today:
So imagine you're a 40 something private security guard who peaked in the Navy in 2000 or so, and you don't really think about the 20+ years of hamburgers between then and now. And there's this hot new girl up in the <agency> office, fresh out of college.
So you find an excuse to go chat her up.
She doesn't seem to be receiving the message you're sending, and asks you to leave her office. Heh. Playing hard to get. Keep chatting.
But there's a couple of things you didn't know.
1. Her boss thoughtfully installed a panic button at everyone's desk.
2. The panic button doesn't go to your clown coworkers. No. It goes somewhere else entirely.
And when you look up and down the hallway, there's Hamish coming from one direction, with a US Marshal behind him.
And the other direction has Sideways Dave, dancing to music only he can hear coming the other way. 700 pounds of angry humans are coming to explain to you, in terms you will understand, the error of your ways.
Fade to black.
So imagine you're a 40 something private security guard who peaked in the Navy in 2000 or so, and you don't really think about the 20+ years of hamburgers between then and now. And there's this hot new girl up in the <agency> office, fresh out of college.
So you find an excuse to go chat her up.
She doesn't seem to be receiving the message you're sending, and asks you to leave her office. Heh. Playing hard to get. Keep chatting.
But there's a couple of things you didn't know.
1. Her boss thoughtfully installed a panic button at everyone's desk.
2. The panic button doesn't go to your clown coworkers. No. It goes somewhere else entirely.
And when you look up and down the hallway, there's Hamish coming from one direction, with a US Marshal behind him.
And the other direction has Sideways Dave, dancing to music only he can hear coming the other way. 700 pounds of angry humans are coming to explain to you, in terms you will understand, the error of your ways.
Fade to black.
9
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: June 22, 2022, 04:57:05 pm »
Quite honestly I cannot tel if this is fiction or whether you really did all this.
I would call that alone a true win.
I do a lot of stupid shit these days.
That should be written on a sign posted outside Earth
Add "We didn't ask for your help, alien swine. Get fucked. Sincerely, The Primates."
10
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: June 22, 2022, 12:36:50 am »
Today at work:
Tina: "Billy says your title at your last place was 'wizard'."
Me: "Billy talks too much."
Tina: "So was your title actually 'wizard'?"
Me: "Yes. But I feel I should mention that my boss was under a lot of stress when he did that."
Tina: "So yes."
Me: "Yes."
Tina: "So wizard me a sandwich, bish."
Me: "..."
Tina: "This is hungry work."
Tina: "Billy says your title at your last place was 'wizard'."
Me: "Billy talks too much."
Tina: "So was your title actually 'wizard'?"
Me: "Yes. But I feel I should mention that my boss was under a lot of stress when he did that."
Tina: "So yes."
Me: "Yes."
Tina: "So wizard me a sandwich, bish."
Me: "..."
Tina: "This is hungry work."
11
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Many bloodsucking insects
« on: June 21, 2022, 07:18:33 pm »
Line 1989-1988:
JER BIDUM STOLE DER LECTION!!!!1111
JER BIDUM STOLE DER LECTION!!!!1111
12
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Many bloodsucking insects
« on: June 21, 2022, 07:17:44 pm »
OMFG, THEY REFERENCE AGENDA 21.
Line 1970.
Line 1970.
13
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Many bloodsucking insects
« on: June 21, 2022, 07:11:25 pm »
Holy shit. Line 1479.
"Let's get rid of no-fault divorce."
"Let's get rid of no-fault divorce."
14
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Many bloodsucking insects
« on: June 21, 2022, 06:59:45 pm »
Texas just published its convention draft platform.
https://texasgop.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Temp-Committee-ROUGH-FINAL-REPORT-6-15-2022.pdf
This reads like Franklin Graham has been into the datura again.
https://texasgop.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Temp-Committee-ROUGH-FINAL-REPORT-6-15-2022.pdf
This reads like Franklin Graham has been into the datura again.
15
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Crazification Factor
« on: June 21, 2022, 05:22:47 pm »http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Crazification_factorQuoteCrazification factor is a neologism coined by blogger John Rogers to refer to the portion of the electorate comprising the nuttiest of the wingnuts and the batshit crazy. In Rogers' words:Quote“”Obama vs. Alan Keyes. Keyes was from out of state, so you can eliminate any established political base; both candidates were black, so you can factor out racism; and Keyes was plainly, obviously, completely crazy. Batshit crazy. Head-trauma crazy. But 27% of the population of Illinois voted for him. They put party identification, personal prejudice, whatever ahead of rational judgement. Hell, even like 5% of Democrats voted for him. That's crazy behaviour. I think you have to assume a 27% Crazification Factor in any population.[1]
Thus, people in this category are called the "27 percenters." Perhaps the greatest confirmation of the existence of said factor in the last decade can be found in a 2003 poll of Russian attitudes toward Josef Stalin in which 36% thought he was a pretty cool dude.
http://www.gallup.com/poll/110806/bushs-approval-rating-drops-new-low-27.aspxQuoteAccording to a Sept. 26-27 USA Today/Gallup poll, just 27% of Americans approve of the job George W. Bush is doing as president, the lowest rating of his presidency.
And just today:
http://ukpollingreport.co.uk/blog/archives/7141QuoteIpsos MORI’s monthly political monitor is out, with topline figures of CON 27%(-3), LAB 40%(-2), LDEM 11%(+4), UKIP 13%(+4).
I wonder if this can be linked to the country's inability to hold back stupid for longer than 8 weeks.