Messages

1

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: January 25, 2021, 10:10:56 am »

Hey guys, I'm gonna be a dad.   

INCREDIBLE NEWS! Congratulations my dude!

2

Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

« on: January 08, 2020, 07:05:07 am »

As a dude once pinned on the ground with my feet under my back for the better part of Thieves at a Ministry live show, I can attest to this effect.

From a link embedded in that article, concerning the 2015 Hadj disaster:

“It’s largely a physical phenomenon, not a psychological one,” says Dirk Helbing, a professor of computational social science at ETH Zurich, who has studied crowds and disasters.

When the density is too high, movements of a body “transfers forces to other bodies. These forces can add up and create uncontrollable movements in the crowd,” he said Thursday.

3

Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

« on: January 03, 2020, 06:03:43 am »

Sooo...fuck

4

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court

« on: October 25, 2019, 04:10:32 am »

Anybody remember the "Discordian meme generator" I think it was called. It was a page that just spit out random quips. "A conclusion is just where you stopped thinking," etc.

I'm specifically looking for the thing about "if you believe there are elves living in the clouds, every time it rains it gets proven" only...worded well.

Anybody have a memory of that?

I don't remember anything, ever.  My brain doesn't work any more.

"If you were taught that elves caused rain, every time it rained, you'd see the proof of elves."
    -- https://www.principiadiscordia.com/memebombs/kwotes.pl?action=show&id=3951

MEMEBOMBS!!! Thank you, thank you!

5

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court

« on: October 25, 2019, 02:29:43 am »

I'd be happy if I never again heard "you dig?" outside of a 70's movie.

Is this the world you propose? If so I'll sign on to that.

6

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court

« on: October 25, 2019, 02:02:23 am »

Anybody remember the "Discordian meme generator" I think it was called. It was a page that just spit out random quips. "A conclusion is just where you stopped thinking," etc.

I'm specifically looking for the thing about "if you believe there are elves living in the clouds, every time it rains it gets proven" only...worded well.

Anybody have a memory of that?

7

Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

« on: October 16, 2019, 11:22:12 pm »

I've had some bad breakups. Sent some regrettable messages. Like this one time, I got so upset over a woman I wrote her a weird letter saying "Don't be a tough guy. Don't be a fool." I'm just....so fucking ashamed of myself.

I hope this is the right thread for these sorts of heartfelt confessions.

8

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court

« on: October 16, 2019, 02:21:03 am »

I worked email for Nike for a bit. That was comically corporate. Shit like the first time you refer to the SportWatch, you need to call it the 'Nike+ SportWatch GPS. After that refer to it as the 'SportWatch'. It was still hell, but it was funny hell and didn't require me to have to think on my feet so much.

A definite upgrade.

My latest goal: get the fuck off these HELL PHONES right away.

Means: email training.

Approach: be basically competent.

Current status: success.

Tomorrow I train all day. Then I beg them to put me on the (horribly undersized) email team, who would take a trained parrot with a severed hand right now. Then I work two more godawful days on the HELL PHONES. Then I get a day off, and one more day in HELL PHONES. Finally, I leave them behind, and go back to what I’m good at: typing a fucking lot.

9

Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

« on: October 15, 2019, 05:17:46 am »

This is beginning to look more and more like an Iraq/Kuwait situation. Erdogan gets the "sure, no problem" from the US, then he moves, and everybody loses their shit because the completely predictable thing happened.

10

Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

« on: October 11, 2019, 03:59:40 am »

Are these the kind of communists who think that working against the USA = anti-imperialist?

100%.

One dude literally wrote, "The Turkish Government and the YPG/SDF are both part of NATO."

11

Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

« on: October 11, 2019, 02:09:11 am »

I'm seeing a lot of anti-SDF sentiment from communist sources. I'm hella confused by all that. I know that they were working with the US, but they were also working with the SAA, selling oil to Syria, Israel, Saudi--pretty much anyone who would buy it (help finance them). I don't really get what the hard-on is for.

12

Apple Talk / Re: Fucking Photobucket

« on: July 21, 2017, 05:11:44 pm »

I had some...home videos backed up in a private folder through them. They deleted them for ToS. No notice. No chance to recover...just gone.

I fucking HATE Photobucket.

13

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar

« on: May 18, 2017, 07:49:04 pm »

Anyone here ever have those days when they walk into Chipotle and go "Today is a two burrito kinda day..."?






Today is that day 

I've dared many things in my life, but I've never dared that...

...though now I feel like I should.

14

Apple Talk / Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free

« on: May 18, 2017, 06:19:24 pm »

I think this is the appropriate thread to post my brags about having an actual saddle sore.

HEY PD! I'VE GOT A SADDLE SORE!

Truthfully, it can mainly be attributed to riding commando in Portland wet, but still...I've been doing enough of that to have an issue with sitting.

15

Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

« on: May 16, 2017, 11:37:16 pm »

...that dude that everyone's pissed off at for being too honest too often...he's full of shit here.