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I've been looking into (read: rereading Bluefluke's Psychonaut Field Manual and perusing r/psychonauts every now and again because I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know if I ought to) chaos magick as of late. Haven't done anything with it yet, but the ideas about the tech are interesting, and I think I could cultivate something personally useful if I manage to "get into it".


My best friend made me a spell jar to improve my love life and relationships...given that I love them to bits after 8 years, and I have like three partners now (and might be slightly less of a lesbian than I thought I was?), I'm inclined to think it works. Plus it smells good.


I keep trying to read The Satanic Bible, but LaVey keeps boring me in ways Mal-2 and Ravenhurst haven't (yet), so I keep putting it down. The Temple still seems neat though, and I contemplate joining em all official-like and such.


Overall...I think I'm about as woo-y as I was when I was more active here, I'm just a bit comfier with it now, and that's pretty neat, methinks.




Also, it's good to be back here.

Ooo, I'm aware of that game's existence! I actually know about it cause of a lil video about it that's actually also pretty fitting for the strange times we find ourselves in.


You Can't Save The Galaxy In A Day

Sewerslvt--Mr. Kill Myself: https://youtu.be/RgFaK6ZQifE


But also...jetsetradio.live


Lots of funky shit. a few flavors of hiphop, rap, techno, punk rock, electroswing, music to listen to during the revolution/end of the world, etc. Also, a few video game soundtracks (it is a Jet Set Radio fansite, after all).


There's a bit more there than just the music, but the music is not in any short supply.

3/29/2020


I broke up with my stagnant LDR last night, so that was an interesting few hours of being confusedly not-sad and then hungry and then sleepy. Woke up in the early afternoon to notifications from my best pals, a small handful of internet friends, all in the same large Discord server; horny fuckwads were apparently busy being horny and fuckwad-y, as is typical. It's like the virus is cranking everyone's stupid-dials to 11 though, as if their literal and silicone dicks don't do a fine enough job of that already. I scrolled through the shit (it was the usual shit, just increased in volume), friends and I contemplated why we even still bother with the server, memes were shared at the fuckwads' expense, etc.


That bullhonkey only served to stress out everyone, especially my already-stressed-out friend; poor thing's been without her fiancee for a couple weeks, it'll be a week or two more (because of the fiancee getting quarantined at her folks' place), and all the asshattery pinched a nerve in her that me and the others have been trying to soothe. Needless to say, I was pissed. I grumbled as much to a mutual friend, and I had half a mind to say it to the fuckers' collective smarmy faces, but then, starting dwama would have been looked down upon even by the mod who would have been far less kind than I in delivering the same message. So, I shut my trap. C'est la guerre.


Anyway. I remembered that I had some Holy Nonsense saved to this new phone, so I shared some of the more pertinent pieces with the best pals (You Are Enough, the KippleKipple piece about how "It won't always be like this", and, more importantly, the one about living to piss off your enemies). It put smiles on their faces, which put a smile on mine.


Sometimes, it's the little things that get you through the shit.

Yeah, that's about as chaotic as you can get with that show; it helps (or maybe hurts??) that if this were translated to real life, it'd depict Weird Al Yankovic squeezing the life out of John De Lancie.

Went to an LGBT paint night a couple months back. We were instructed to paint a pretty lady named Lola.


Lola is the bird.

Greetings to the newcomer. I'm sure someone already gave you the spiel about the pool, yeah? Do we even still do that? Do "we" even still do much of anything?   Anyway, hope you keep enjoying WTNV; I need to catch up on a handful of episodes myself, plus that new season of Within The Wires...at this rate I just hope I don't miss another book.

40 pages of this thread have come and gone, and I'm back again. I'll read through em some other time, I have a final portfolio to cobble together now that it's the end of the day and my other two class' final projects have gone unfinished. Last quarter was less astro-hyper-shitty than I thought it'd be; turns out I barely passed Greek I, and passed the other classes better than I thought I would. So that's nice.


Granted, I didn't buy the book for the class that I replaced Greeek II with this quarter, couldn't bring myself to write 7 pages about one of my favorite Tom Lehrer songs, and said class is one of the aforementioned two that have unfinished final papers. For another class, I could barely bring myself to read anything other than Assata Shakur's autobiography, and that's the *other* class I haven't finished the paper on, but I'm trying not to get bogged-down in the self-shit about all that too much. I keep getting bogged down by the holies, drop, and the acrid taste in my mouth from all the bullets I'm preparing to bite.


I am both itching to Do Things, and mortified to begin trying. But, c'est la vie. The only other thing I know for sure is I'm tired of self-induced radio-silence interspersed with sad whining and the wet sounds of placation. But, thanks to some of you mad bastards and your stupid meaningful words, I'm slowly becoming more ready to turn dials and flip switches in my brainmeat again.


Here's to The FUTURE.

So a while back I got handed a ticket onto a ship. The fuckin thing's apparently gone from Ai WeiWei's house to the site of the Pokhran tests to Kanda shrine to that one island that Canada and Denmark fight over with bottles of whisk(e)y, and now it's stuck in a desertified chasm somewhere because Eris decided she was done with her afternoon bath a little too early.


The ticket comes with a student-time guarantee, which is nice, but it's made of that weird compostable straw material and smells of almond extract and ghost jizz.


Those sailors say things are fun at sea; since Japan it's been nothing but fairy chess with ancient gold coins as board tiles, feeding hotdogs to tsuchinoko, watching the ittan-momen and shiro uneri duke it out like dogfighter pilots amongst the ship's forest of tiny car muffler exhaust pipes (which are naturally fed by the rowing of a hundred oars which are themselves powered by the techno-cultists below deck, who've been getting into fights with the treasure hunters, the egg-painters, the party-planners, and the spags), and weekly googly-eye-disease preparedness classes.


I'll forget I have the ticket eventually, but we'll see what happens to it once the ocean comes back to pick those fuckers up off the ground again.


Now I'm gonna go finish some ice cream.

[CHEW]

I was hungry and I was on the bus and I was listening to RAINBOW MEAT by Chat Pile and my god it's so majestic how he

SEND MY BODY TO ARBY'S

It's fucking beautiful man, because I can see it in my mind's eye:

The MEAT PLACE. Red and gooey and screaming in terror in the distance, throbbing, throbbing. I can smell it.

Oh yeah. TAKE ME TO THE MEAT PLACE BABY.

Lay my fleshy carcass on the slab. I want the pig and the goat and the cow and the fffffffffuUCKING MEAT

WHATS THIS BREAD SHIT GIVE ME THE EDIBLE GORE YOU FUCKING BACKWARDS YOKEL FUCKS

MEAT PLACE MEAT PLACE

WHYS THERE BONES THIS AINT THE MEAT PLACE TAKE IT AWAY I WANT TO CHEW

MEAT PLACE MEAT PLACE

GOD BLESS THIS TUB OF SHATTERED MUSCLE

SLATHER ME IN THE LARD

STARS AND STRIPES MORE LIKE MEAT MARTS OF TRIPE

WHYS THERE AIR BURY ME IN BEEF YOU FUCKING SCOUNDRELS

And that's how I know I'm free, you know? SEND MY BODY TO ARBYS, god what an amazing lyricist. He gets it. This is what Uncle Sam wanted. Blood and bile leaking from the hacked up corpse of a non human murder victim. Oh yeah. I can taste it.

MEAT PLACE

You just outdid my intentionally-weird poem about nailing fruit pits to the deck of a hollow ship while a rhapsode waffles about peedee shenanigans and also a giant drill is stuck through the fucking hull while its mechanic talks about the bosses from my favorite childhood video game. You did that just by screaming about Arbys.


I mean, I'm not surprised that you did it. But you did it.


That was neat.

I might take the 7 or 10 of Cups, personally.

I have THINGS for you my friend

You won't want them, and by that point it will be too late

Also welcome back

Much appreciated, Null. I missed you too. Sorry to hear about that shitty shitty knee/leg pain by the way. As a slim gal with cerebral palsy, myself, christ I can only imagine how fucked your legs must feel. Especially since it's actually winter now.

Man, I've missed some shit.


The tail-end of some bot spam. QGP's birthday. Null landing a thing. This fancy new bar opening up. Damn.


The past few weeks for me have been Grey-fueled-ennui-fueled procrastination amongst poetry, ancient to early-modern literature, and ancient fucking Greek. The language, not the history, or the mythology. I'm not so much pissed as I am chuckling while also being annoyed by the sound of my own laugh.


In other news, estrogen continues to get injected into my body. I have a burgeoning desire to inject a guerilla art campaign into the boring campus around me (details pending). An anime going around since the 60s is making me learn how to be a better person by way of ancient monsters and closeted gays wholesome "friendships". I've been planning to make a thread devoted to my own brain-crotch goblins, but that day is not today. Also I have a bottle of white-out in my desk that I keep forgetting to bring with me places in lieu of actual paint.


Meanwhile, my lunch order number the other day was 23, I've been sitting in seat E-5 in my classes at times, and discoshit made its way into some of my more recent poems for the sake of easy Outlandishness. Fuckin' Fnords, man.


So, I'm not out of the woods yet, but some of the trees make music and I might decorate the rest with invisible ink.

Welp, just went to Barnes&Noble since the weekly meeting of the gay agenda fell through.


I grabbed...
Some book about symbols and shit in different cultures.
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (now with a fancy new cover)
The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
House of Leaves (because even though I yoinked a PDF a few months back, its just more satisfying to hold the lump of dead trees in my own two hands, you know?)
A cute pocket version of The Satanic Bible (because even though LaVey is old and dead and some of his ideas were shit and his immediate followers got up their own asses, modern Satanists are interesting at least and lovely assets in the endeavour to befuddle the conservative masses at best. Also their statues are cool.)

I should also add that I decided to stop being a caveman and get some vaccinations. One was for the flu, which, I've traditionally objected to because it used to make me sick, and the other was for hepatitis B, which I'd somehow previously been infected with, and fought it off but showed no signs of antibodies, so me and my doctor decided to nuke the site from low orbit because it beats taking another test before deciding whether or not to vaccinate. I didn't get sick. Neat. Unsure if they changed something in the way vaccines are produced or not but not even a sniffle. I guess I CAN be socially responsible, well, at least, sometimes.

I quit smoking, took up vaping but every week I vape less and less, perhaps someday I'll eliminate that cash-sink outright, but it's been a shitton cheaper than smoking. I recently got a prescription for Naltrexone in the hopes that it will help me train my mind to not drink until I'm half-dead. All in all, things are looking up. Getting my shit together, one small piece at a time.

Good man. I'm doing much the same, though I'm replacing ennui with enthusiasm instead of replacing toxic sludge in a tube with vapor in a tube. Satisfaction will come in due time, eh?