News:

TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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Topics - Mangrove

#51
Chapter 11 generally

When a Religion is unable to service the soul or pay its congregation, the Religion or its creditors can file with an ideological bankruptcy court for protection under either Chapter 7 or Chapter 11.
In Chapter 7 the Religion ceases operations, a trustee sells all of its karmic assets, and then distributes the proceeds to its congregation. Any residual amount is returned to the Universe. In Chapter 11, in most instances the Religion remains in control of its business operations as a debtor in demonic possession, and is subject to the oversight and jurisdiction of the court.[1]

Features of Chapter 11 bankruptcy

Chapter 11 bankruptcy retains many of the features present in all, or most bankruptcy proceedings in the United States. It also provides additional tools for Religions as well. Most importantly, 11 U.S.C. § 1108 empowers the trustee to operate the Religion's business. In Chapter 11, unless appointed for cause, the Religion acts as trustee of the business.[2]

Bankruptcy affords the Religion in demonic possession a number of mechanisms to restructure its theology. A Religion in demonic possession can acquire financing and loans on favorable terms by giving new members first priority on grace. The court may also permit the Religion in demonic possession to reject and cancel moral & social contracts. Religions are also protected from other litigation against the doctrines through the imposition of an automatic stay. While the automatic stay is in place, most litigation against the Religion is stayed, or put on hold, until it can be resolved in theological debate, or resumed in its original venue.

If the Religion's karmic debts exceed its assets, the bankruptcy restructuring results in the Church/Temple/Mosque owners being left with nothing; instead, the owners' rights and interests are ended and the congregation are left with ownership of the newly reorganized schism.
All Religions are entitled to be heard by the court.[citation needed] The court is ultimately responsible for determining whether the proposed plan of reorganization complies with the bankruptcy law.

The chapter 11 plan

Chapter 11 is reorganization, as opposed to liquidation. Religions may "emerge" from a Chapter 11 bankruptcy within a few months or within several years, depending on the size and complexity of the dogmatic clusterfuck. The Bankruptcy Code accomplishes this objective through the use of a bankruptcy plan. With some exceptions, the plan may be proposed by any party in interest.[3] Interested souls then vote for a plan. Upon its confirmation, the plan becomes binding and identifies the treatment of karmic debts and operations of the business for the duration of the plan.

Religions in Chapter 11 have the exclusive right to propose a plan of reorganization for a period of time (in most cases 120 days). After that time has elapsed, creditors may also propose plans. Plans must satisfy a number of criteria in order to be "confirmed" by a priest. Among other things, souls must vote to approve the plan of reorganization. If a plan cannot be confirmed, the court may either convert the soul to a liquidation under Catholicism, or, if in the best interests of the souls and the estate, the case may be dismissed resulting in a return to the status quo before bankruptcy. If the case is dismissed, souls will look to Eastern mysticism in order to satisfy their claims.

#52
Or Kill Me / Form letter
February 12, 2009, 09:22:38 PM
In the interests of efficiency, SSOOKN propose that the following form letter be used to clarify communication and save time.

1. Hey you _______ !

Select as appropriate: a) Discordians
                               b) Liberals
                               c) Wiccans
                               d) Commies
                               e) Neo-con
                               f)  Idiots

2. You are ________

a) Doing it wrong
b) Destroying America
c) In league with Satan
d) Atheist scum
e) Nazi scum
f)  Fucking stupid


3. You are not __________


a) As discordan as me!
b) A true American
c) Going to be saved by Jesus
d) Going to take over the world with your bullshit Marxist economics
e) Likely to comply with the Geneva Convention
f)  As intelligent as I am!


4. You should listen to me because ________

a) I consulted my pineal gland
b) You are soft on terrorism
c) I went to a Biblical college in Arkansas
d) Reagan destroyed Communism
e) I have a social conscience
f) I am so intelligent!

5. If you do not _________

a) You are a big meanie Greyface
b) America will be attacked again
c) Satan will insert hot objects into your anus for all eternity
d) Market forces will destroy your social fabric
e) You will face a 'truth & reconcilliation' commission
f)  You will be like, really lame and I'll mock you for not being so smart

6. So ________

a) lolfnordpinealgland23haileris
b) Ha! You won't be laughing when the immigrants take over
c) Repent!!!!
d) Enjoy waiting in lines for many hours, hoping to get stale bread
e) Fuck off back to Alaska you medieval bitch
f)  Nuh.
#53
Or Kill Me / No more hyphens.
January 13, 2009, 09:13:06 PM
Dear America,

Yeah, I know...the last thing you want right now is some durn immigrant telling you about your country. Ok, I get it....move to Russia, right?

So let me frame it to you as a polite request. It's simply this:

  Please, please, please stop using hyphenated nationalities/ethnicities.

You know the deal, 'Italian-American', 'Asian-American', 'Irish-American' etc. I'm not picking on any group in particular. I am, in fact suggesting that you all cut it out.

Why? I'll tell you why. Because no matter how you might like to think otherwise, Americans are not Europeans. Nor are they Africans or Asians or whatever else. Not better, not worse, but just different. And why can't you simply be content with that?

I've had the good fortune to live in and travel to/from different countries. I've had the privilege of meeting people from all over the world and from all manner of backgrounds & circumstances. Drunken bowling with Canadians, breakfasting with Israelis, sharing an elevator with the Japanese etc

So recently, I've returned from 10 days in Italy. Guess what? Americans who self-designate as 'Italian' are NOTHING LIKE ITALIAN PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY LIVE THERE.

I happened to be travelling with a man who is, from a bloodline point of view, purely Italian (whatever that actually means, especially when you read up on their history.) His parents and his grandparents were all from the Old Country. That counts for something, right? He's got an Italian sounding last name, even though he pronounces it in an Anglicized version. A shoe in?

No. In fact, he stood out like a sore thumb. Dressed like an American, spoke American-English and naturally interacted with everyone with American cultural expectations. Not a bad thing in itself, because the Italians dressed up in their skinnniest of jeans, spoke Italian and eyed us all through the (Gucci) colored glasses of their backgrounds.

The problem is this: CULTURE IS NOT GENETIC.

Why is this a problem? Well, I've seen more 'Italian Temper' bumperstickers than I ever wanted. I've heard the most asinine rationales for stupid behaviour that somehow is 'Irish'.   

I think it's time that certain Americans stop identifying themselves with cliches, stereotypes and outright misrepresentations of cultures they know little or nothing about. It might be fun to glorify the 'Old Country' but you have to keep in mind that your ancestors LEFT the place and went somewhere else. That is where you are from.

Because what matters is who you are and where you are NOW. What's in your blood is a non-starter. If you do enough DNA testing and molecular archaeology, you know what you find? We're all bastard mongrels migrating all over the place for many many thousands of generations.

So please, America relax already. For better or worse, you have your own identity that is not any of the other country's. Let the Italians be Italians and get on with your own lives.




#54
Or Kill Me / 1001 and one things...
December 02, 2008, 10:20:40 PM
Dear publishing industry,

Please, please, please, STOP producing idiotic books with the title format:

"1001 ____ to ___ before you die."

Guess what fuckos? My life isn't a check list. The quality of my life is not determined by the arbitrary standards that you set forth in your books.

Even if I were to complete all the assinine tasks set forth in your publications, what does that prove exactly?

"It's ok, I watched all the 1001 stupid movies...I'm still a violent alcoholic who beats my wife but at least I got to watch some good tv before I died!"

"Great! My life has meaning! I visited lots of countries and committed horrible crimes in all of them. Yay!"

"Thank you 1001 albums (to hear before I die). I still have cancer, but I finally got 'round to buying Abbey Road on CD, so it's all good."

I noticed that you haven't produced a book called: '1001 lifeskills to have so people won't think you're a douchebag when you're dead.' Similarly, I can't find '1001 enlightened behaviours' or '1001 nice things you could do for others if you weren't such a selfish prick.'

Now go find 1001 ways to insert a publishing trend into an orifice.


:argh!:  :argh!:   :argh!:  :argh!:


#55
Or Kill Me / The evil of banality
November 25, 2008, 09:47:25 PM
This is not a pre-written or properly formed rant. It's just some ideas that I'm throwing out in the vain hope that I might offer something productive...

Once upon a time, people used to be scared of witches. In fact, depending on where you are in the world, there are still plenty of people who believe in witches and live in fear of their alleged powers. Folklorist & historian, Ronald Hutton (author of 'Triumph Of The Moon') has spent a great amount of time researching the historical records with regards to the European perception of witches. The overwhelming message from both folklore and trial records is that witches were considered to be:

a) Almost exclusively female
b) Evil
c) Solitary

The notions that there were 'good' or 'white' witches is a modern construct. The idea that they worked in 'covens' stemmed from an account by R.Scott's 'The Discoverie Of Witchcraft' in the 17th century. Interestingly enough, the notion of teams of witches working in concert stuck in the public mind and shaped future perceptions in spite of the fact that the overwhelming majority of sources relating to witches demonstrate that most Europeans held witches to be evil, bitter, women working malevolent spells on their own. (Hutton distinguishes witches from 'cunningfolk' and 'charmers'. The former being largely male artisans who worked spells for money to boost their income and the latter, being one trick ponies who generally offered a very specific service for free eg: charm warts, tame horses etc.)

Cut to the present day and we find that a modern 'witch' protested against her neighbour's Halloween decorations, claiming that they were a hate crime and religiously insensitive.

Once upon a time, people believed in Vampires. They feared that the undead could sneak out of graves and walk among the living to feast upon their blood. I bet if you travelled around enough, you could still find some people who maintain that this is still true. In fact, it took until 1824 for the British government to strike out an old law from the statute books concerning the staking of vampires.

I'm fairly sure that if you examine the folklore & history of Vampires, the picture you will receive is going to be pretty dismal. Corpses, charnel houses, curses, soulessness, you get the idea. It's not for nothing that Peter Cushing made a film career that comprised mostly of killing Christopher Lee in a variety of different ways.

Cut to 2008. I find 'stop vampire hate on the net'. Whut!?

Turns out that the witches that you thought were witches are not witches but survivals of neolithic pagan religions that are entirely unsubstantiated. Turns out that Vampires are actually quite romantic. They don't just rip people's throats open anymore, they go to highschool and have awkward moments with the girls they've got the hots for. They're clean, well groomed and don't even smell a teeny bit like decaying meat.

And oddly enough, these revamped (pun!) images are increasingly accepted into popular discourse. It's ok to dress like Vlad the Impaler, just so long as everyone knows that you don't drink blood, only 'psychic energy' and that it's always with consent. Not like those other bad vampires. Not like those other bad witches.

What is the human need to flirt with a neutered form of darkness? Why let the facts get in the way of a good story?

What intrigues me is what new sub-culture will spring up? What new evil will become the object of our affections? Is there a limit or will the felons of history become redeemed with enough attention and weak justifications? It's ok to be a witch. It's even ok to be a vampire. History was wrong! We totally misread them! Is it ok to be a Grand Inquisitor? Is it ok to be in the SS? How about the Knights of the KKK? Child murderers?

In 100 years from now, in whatever store replaces Hot Topic as the wellspring of pre-packaged rebellion, will we see teens sloping around malls dressed as 'Muhajadeen'? 'No! You've got it all wrong! It's not about holy war, it's about buying this green jacket and wearing my scarf in this manner. DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING!?'

:jihaad:





#56
Quote from: Cain on March 22, 2007, 01:45:57 PM
Yo dude.  I saw your site when I was activating your account (the URL looked interesting, so I popped around for a look).  Going by what I saw, you'll fit in just fine.  I haven't had a chance to listen to your stuff just yet, so I wont comment, but feel free to look around the forum, ask questions etc etc

Nope. Not at all.
#57
Literate Chaotic / Upcoming SSOOKN book sale
September 15, 2008, 08:51:00 PM
Thanks to the tireless efforts of our archival scrids, the SSOOKN has recently received a number of rare, sought after occult tomes that they are willing to release back into circulation.

As such, SSOOKN will, if anyone gives a crap, offer up for sale two hardback 1st editions by Kenneth Grant.

Interested parties can be assured that SSOOKN will not be making a killing on these books as we are seeking to undercut other occult book dealers. While these books are in short supply, they are not worth the ludicrous prices some people are asking.

Further details to follow.
#58
The death has been announced of Alan Miller (aka Dr Christopher Hyatt), author and publisher of Thelemic works, on 9 February at his home in Scottsdale, Arizona.

I am grateful to Hymenaeus Beta, Frater Superior, OTO, for giving me permission to reproduce his obituary here...

Alan Ronald Miller, Ph.D., IX° O.T.O. (1943-2008 e.v.)

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

Brother Alan Miller IX° passed away on February 9, at his home in Scottsdale, Arizona, with his wife Linda and son Michael in attendance. He had been bravely waging a long struggle with cancer, but suffered several strokes in his last week.

Bro. Alan was born in Chicago on July 12, 1943, the son of a Chicago police lieutenant. After early studies at the University of Toronto he took a B.A. and M.A. (Psychology) at California State University in Los Angeles, followed by an advanced M.Ed. from University of Southern California, a Ph.D. (Psychology) from Western University, and a second Ph.D. (Leadership and Human Behavior) from United States International University (now Alliant University). He made significant contibutions to the academic psychological literature, particuarly in the fields of psychological testing and the perception of beauty; many of his innovations are still in daily use around the world.

He studied Reichian analysis with Dr. Israel Regardie, and applied his considerable business acumen to helping Dr. Regardie so arrange his affairs that he enjoyed a comfortable retirement. He had a long a distinguished private psychology practice, a varied entrepreneurial career as a businessman including many years as a successful computer industry executive, and founded Falcon Press -- now New Falcon Publications -- with his lifelong friend and business partner Nicholas Tharcher. He was the author and coauthor of several dozen books under the name Christopher Hyatt, Ph.D., including the very popular "Undoing Yourself," and in recent years had produced a series of educational DVDs, all available from New Falcon Publications. He was the chief executive of a not-for-profit religious organizations that carrried on Dr. Regardie's Golden Dawn tradition.

He had a great gift for empowering those around him -- challenging them to overcome their inhibitions and give expression to their inner potential; that paradigm is perhaps the best summation of his life's work.

He encouraged two notable O.T.O. authors, James Wassserman and Lon Milo DuQuette, to produce books, and helped them with their initial publications. His approach to helping others realize their potential, while rooted in his psychoanalytic training, was of course fully consonant with Thelema. It is fair to say that Bro. Alan did more in his unique way to advance Thelema in public perception than most Thelemites in history; the Crowley books he put before the public number in the hundreds of thousands. At the urging of his teacher, Dr. Regardie, he was a great supporter of the O.T.O., which he soon joined and to which he lent incalculable support, both through his experienced and sound practical advice, and through substantial financial contributions. He was, for example, the single top donor to the Thoth Tarot Restoration Fund, devoting tens of thousands of dollars to make possible the preservation of the original paintings for future generations. Whenever the O.T.O. was in danger or need, Bro. Alan could be counted upon to lend his support. He was also generous with important archival information, donating Israel Regardie's very large archives to the O.T.O. Archives. Later, when O.T.O. determined that the Regardie's Golden Dawn papers might be better placed with a G.D. research organization, he approved their transfer; O.T.O. Archives retained Regardie's papers dealing with his work with Crowley and Thelema.

Alan was a controversial person -- intentionally so, as part of his personal Great Work was to shock people out of their complacency and habitual mindsets. He was deliberately provocative at times; for example, he labelled some of his best reasoned and most philosophically astute writings "Toxic Magick" -- a blind for the blind, as he explained to me, for what is in reality a sort of Thelemic utilitarianism. Personally, I've never known anyone like Bro. Alan, and do not expect his like again. His work will live on, and may he rest in peace.

Love is the law, love under will.

Hymenaeus Beta
Frater Superior, OTO

#59
Help PD.com through it's very own Don Imus/Michael Richards debacle by promoting racial harmony.

First up, Detroit's very own, Marshall 'Eminem' Mathers giving a shout out to our Latina sisters....

Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
it'd be Jennifer Lopez, and Puffy you know this!
I'm sorry Puff, but I don't give a f**k if this chick was my own mother
I still f**k her with no rubber and cum inside her
and have a son and a new brother at the same time
and just say that it ain't mine,


Stay tuned for more! Contributions welcome!

#60
Literate Chaotic / Tough day for Terry Pratchett
December 13, 2007, 07:32:25 PM
#61
Bare Minimum BIP as recovered from an ancient manuscript in the archives of SSOOKN.
 
 
1. What you think of as REALITY is, a collection of ideas and beliefs about REALITY. Many of the ideas you have about REALITY come from the culture in which you were raised and have accumulated haphazardly over time.

2. This, in itself, is not a problem. The problem is in forgetting point number 1. When you forget point 1, you mistake your ideas about reality for being REALITY itself.  Of this, it has been said 'the menu is not the meal'. Please refrain from eating the menu. 

3. People who 'eat the menu' frequently become confused and annoyed when other people insist on seeing REALITY in a different way.  All that truly differs are their ideas and beliefs about REALITY.

4. Beliefs are just thoughts you keep having.

5. No living being is capable of perceiving all of REALITY, as all senses of perception are limited. Humans can only see, hear, smell, taste and feel within certain parameters.  Information entering our senses undergoes compression, filtration, distortion, before interpretation.  Interpretation is what happens when information meets your 'beliefs'.

6. For no good reason, we call this composite of Being & Biological Limits THE BLACK IRON PRISON and is a metaphor about existence. It means that there is very little you can do about biology however you can choose what becomes part of your beliefs. (Always keeping point 1 in mind). 

7. Each person exists within their own, unique BIP 'cell'. The cell is composed of: 

a) Biological limits – these are largely unchangeable.
b) Belief systems – these are highly changeable. 

Because of (a) the BIP cell cannot be escaped.
Because of (b) your life experience, your 'cell', can be altered drastically. This is what we try to call 'reconstruction'. 

8. A life long commitment to continual reconstruction is known, ironically, as 'The Jail Break'.  Reconstruction is HARD WORK.

9. The collection of beliefs, thoughts, notions etc that form your cell are all equally VALID, though none are TRUE in the sense that they "are" REALITY. However, some beliefs and ideas are more useful than others in specific situations. It is up to the individual to decide which beliefs and ideas they should employ in a given situation. 

10. Some people believe that the term BLACK IRON PRISON is dark, bleak, depressing and even frightening.  If you prefer, use the term GOLDEN SPHERE of POSSIBILITY (GSP) instead. It means exactly the same thing as BIP and all points still apply. 

11. BIP (or GSP) can be philosophical antidote to dogmatism.
 
You are cordially invited to a Jail Break.
 
#62
Next week is year 6 of our allegedly 'Post 9/11' world. A phrase I particularly hate and find extremely mystifying and pointless.

So this is a heads up. For next week will be neck deep in the sublime and the ridiculous....but mostly the ridiculous. Sublime is generally a thin veneer in my experience.

Make a rage noise here.


Mang'.


#64
STOP WRITING BOOKS, YOU INSUFFERABLE, TALENTLESS HACK!!
#66
this is just a scribble. it occured to me over breakfast and i wanted to post it so i don't forget later. i may revisit this at dinner time and think it's stupid.

it starts with:

a) a belief is just a thought you keep having.

it's a favorite phrase for me. one of the notions we've arrived from BIP is the above.

another thing we've derived from this (and the PD) is that no beliefs are 'true' with a big T. what can have been saying is that, while no belief is 'truer' than any other, some beliefs are more effective than others, depending on context.

if a belief isn't truer or falser than any other (yes, i love grammar too), then does this put all beliefs on equal footing?

if so, does this mean BIP is a 'democratization of consciousness'?

hypothetically speaking, in an election (i can hear TGRR laughing already) a person is meant to vote for the person they believe represents their views and is someone who will execute those views most effectively.

maybe our beliefs are like political candidates? sometimes we choose the candidate after a lot of deliberation. sometimes we simply vote for the team our parents did. sometimes the candidate seems really strong & wholesome, but is actually a festering cesspool of corruption. sometimes the candidate who didn't have the right TV charisma was actually the most astute thinker.

or something like that. gotta go and see my accountant.
#67
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / daily reminders...
February 15, 2007, 02:52:07 PM
my brain was buzzing last night and it took me ages to get to sleep. so what i was thinking of was:

wouldn't it be good to have a list along the lines of:

Daily Reminders (10 Ways to remember BIP)

my reasoning being is that the BIP and related projects is producing a lot of great stuff. but the bottom line will be is people reading the various pamphlets etc and saying: "Ok, that's pretty interesting. But how do I actually use this stuff?"

what pragmatic tools are there for people to employ that will help them either find and/or reaffirm BIP consciousness?
#68
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / what does....
February 13, 2007, 08:45:43 PM
...any of this have to do with Discordianism?


Seeing as we've stirred up a whole bunch of stuff at this end of the forum, we may as well keep it going.

And it's not a facetious question either.
#69
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / BIP thought sketch
February 09, 2007, 05:41:17 PM



I have to think about this some more before I write, but the above is the basic idea.

#70
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / crowley BIP?
February 09, 2007, 05:25:25 PM
Does the following count as AC's attempt at BIP? (from his intro to Liber AL)

THE UNIVERSE

THIS BOOK explains the Universe.

The elements are Nuit - Space - that is, the total of possibilities of every kind - and Hadit, any point which has experience of these possibilities. (This idea is for literary convenience symbolized by the Egyptian Goddess Nuit, a woman bending over like the Arch of the Night Sky. Hadit is symbolized as a Winged Globe at the heart of Nuit.)

Every event is a uniting of some monad with one of the experiences possible to it. "Every man and every woman is a star", that is, an aggregate of such experiences, constantly changing with each fresh event, which affects him or her either consciously or subconsciously.

Each one of us thus has an universe of his own, but it is the same universe for each one as soon as it includes all possible experience. This implies the extension of consciousness to include all other consciousness.

In our present stage, the object that you see is never the same as the one that I see; we infer that it is the same because your experience tallies with mine on so many points that the actual differences of our observation are negligible. For instance, if a friend is walking between us, you only see his left side, I his right; but we agree that it is the same man, although we may differ not only as to what we may see of his body but as to what we know of his qualities. This conviction of identity grows stronger as we see him more often and get to know him better. Yet all the time neither of us can know anything of him at all beyond the total impression made on our respective minds.

The above is an extremely crude attempt to explain a system which reconciles all existing schools of philosophy.

#71
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Books For BIPs
January 17, 2007, 04:06:44 PM
The thread for making other BIPs aware of reading matter that might be relevant, interesting or illuminating to the BIP project.

I'm starting off with this:

http://www.viewfromthecenter.com/index.html

I'm not quite finished reading it yet, but will be done quite soon. Then I can get into it in more detail. However, there were more than a few times where I felt the authors had hit upon BIP notions.

The basic idea of the book is that humanity has always developed symbols and metaphors to understand their place in the universe. However, inspite of our considerable advances in physics, astronomy, cosmology etc, the typical ideas which we use to frame our experience of the universe are woefully inadequate and inaccurate.

What the book proposes is a collection of new symbols and metaphors that are scientifically based to provide a new, updated 'centring cosmology' and suggests what kind of thinking a new cosmology might produce.
#72
Literate Chaotic / you can call me Al...
July 18, 2006, 07:19:09 PM
America

    America I've given you all and now I'm nothing.
    America two dollars and twentyseven cents January
         17, 1956.
    I can't stand my own mind.
    America when will we end the human war?
    Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb.
    I don't feel good don't bother me.
    I won't write my poem till I'm in my right mind.
    America when will you be angelic?
    When will you take off your clothes?
    When will you look at yourself through the grave?
    When will you be worthy of your million Trotskyites?
    America why are your libraries full of tears?
    America when will you send your eggs to India?
    I'm sick of your insane demands.
    When can I go into the supermarket and buy what I
         need with my good looks?
    America after all it is you and I who are perfect not
         the next world.
    Your machinery is too much for me.
    You made me want to be a saint.
    There must be some other way to settle this argument.
    Burroughs is in Tangiers I don't think he'll come back
         it's sinister.
    Are you being sinister or is this some form of practical
         joke?
    I'm trying to come to the point.
    I refuse to give up my obsession.
    America stop pushing I know what I'm doing.
    America the plum blossoms are falling.
    I haven't read the newspapers for months, everyday
         somebody goes on trial for murder.
    America I feel sentimental about the Wobblies.
    America I used to be a communist when I was a kid
         I'm not sorry.
    I smoke marijuana every chance I get.
    I sit in my house for days on end and stare at the roses
         in the closet.
    When I go to Chinatown I get drunk and never get laid.
    My mind is made up there's going to be trouble.
    You should have seen me reading Marx.
    My psychoanalyst thinks I'm perfectly right.
    I won't say the Lord's Prayer.
    I have mystical visions and cosmic vibrations.
    America I still haven't told you what you did to Uncle
         Max after he came over from Russia.

    I'm addressing you.
    Are you going to let your emotional life be run by
         Time Magazine?
    I'm obsessed by Time Magazine.
    I read it every week.
    Its cover stares at me every time I slink past the corner
         candystore.
    I read it in the basement of the Berkeley Public Library.
    It's always telling me about responsibility. Business-
         men are serious. Movie producers are serious.
         Everybody's serious but me.
    It occurs to me that I am America.
    I am talking to myself again.

    Asia is rising against me.
    I haven't got a chinaman's chance.
    I'd better consider my national resources.
    My national resources consist of two joints of
         marijuana millions of genitals an unpublishable
         private literature that goes 1400 miles an hour
         and twenty-five-thousand mental institutions.
    I say nothing about my prisons nor the millions of
         underprivileged who live in my flowerpots
         under the light of five hundred suns.
    I have abolished the whorehouses of France, Tangiers
         is the next to go.
    My ambition is to be President despite the fact that
         I'm a Catholic.
    America how can I write a holy litany in your silly
         mood?
    I will continue like Henry Ford my strophes are as
         individual as his automobiles more so they're
         all different sexes.
    America I will sell you strophes $2500 apiece $500
         down on your old strophe
    America free Tom Mooney
    America save the Spanish Loyalists
    America Sacco & Vanzetti must not die
    America I am the Scottsboro boys.
    America when I was seven momma took me to Com-
         munist Cell meetings they sold us garbanzos a
         handful per ticket a ticket costs a nickel and the
         speeches were free everybody was angelic and
         sentimental about the workers it was all so sin-
         cere you have no idea what a good thing the
         party was in 1835 Scott Nearing was a grand
         old man a real mensch Mother Bloor made me
         cry I once saw Israel Amter plain. Everybody
         must have been a spy.
    America you don't really want to go to war.
    America it's them bad Russians.
    Them Russians them Russians and them Chinamen.
         And them Russians.
    The Russia wants to eat us alive. The Russia's power
         mad. She wants to take our cars from out our
         garages.
    Her wants to grab Chicago. Her needs a Red Readers'
         Digest. Her wants our auto plants in Siberia.
         Him big bureaucracy running our fillingsta-
         tions.
    That no good. Ugh. Him make Indians learn read.
         Him need big black niggers. Hah. Her make us
         all work sixteen hours a day. Help.
    America this is quite serious.
    America this is the impression I get from looking in
         the television set.
    America is this correct?
    I'd better get right down to the job.
    It's true I don't want to join the Army or turn lathes
         in precision parts factories, I'm nearsighted and
         psychopathic anyway.
    America I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.
#74
Literate Chaotic / hit/write syndrome...aka 'duhhh'
February 28, 2006, 06:44:03 PM
http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/ap/20060227/114107382000.html

The dudes who wrote 'Holy Blood/Holy Grail' are pissy at Dan Brown because they claim he plagarized their silly book for the content of Da Vinci Code.

What they are less vocal about is the journalist who, working around the same time (late 70s/early 80s) had a full, detailed written confession from one of the 3 French surrealist weirdos who faked all the Priory Of Scion nonsense in the first place.

This guy wrote to the HBHG authors and asked them to reconsider publishing because he knew that the whole 'bloodline' plot was bollocks. (They ignored him and had an international bestseller...doh)

Even funnier, is that the Vatican actually spent the time disputing the Da Vinci Code claims and appointed a 'head of anti-Dan Brown studies' or whatever the hell he was meant to be.

In summary:

3 French guys fabricated a dumb story and told it to 3 English guys.

The 3 English guys wrote an international bestseller claiming that it was all 'true' inspite of a clear indicator from a researcher that it was not.

Much later, an American used a big chunk of this silliness to write a book of fiction about an organization that he claims is real (but isn't).

To counteract this, some Italians, under the command of a German (Formally under the command of some Polish guy) appoint one of their own to insist that what the American was saying, wasn't true after all.

Why can't we come up with something like this and make ourselves rich?
#75
Or Kill Me / Just in case....
February 02, 2006, 01:14:50 PM
...you didn't watch Bush's "State of The Union" address....


In summary....


1. Everything is ok

2. Go back to sleep

3. I'm doing a great job

4. I'm spying on people who say I'm not

5. I really am doing a great job
#76
Literate Chaotic / Mangrove's Letter to America # 2
December 19, 2005, 12:23:56 AM
Dear America,


I'm talking to your pharmacies. Like the one I went into today that sold cigarettes. That's right. They'll sell you medicines and other products for your health & wellbeing.....and cigarettes.*

And what did I spy attached to the till? Yes, that's right. A notice asking your customers to join their fight in preventing kids from taking up smoking.
Make up your fucking mind. If you can't figure out something as simple as this, then you're not ready to tackle the thorny Evolution topic.

Love & kisses,


Mangrove.


* SSOOKN does not care if you smoke or not. However we do like to complain about duplicity and make ironic comments.
#77
Or Kill Me / Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
December 13, 2005, 09:17:34 PM
Act 1.

[Mangrove is ambling about his new, snow-covered neighbourhood. He passes a person out jogging]

Mang: Hi! Merry Christmas!

n00b1: WTF?? Merry WHAT!?? You fucking elitist Christan nazi fundamentalist scumbag oppressor!!

Mang: huh?

n00b1: Whatsamatter with you, buddy? Didn't you know it's HAPPY HOLIDAYS? [n00b storms off]


Act 2

[Mangrove is at his local convenience store and meets another resident]

Mang: [hesitantly] Happy Holidays?

n00b2: WTF??? HAPPY WHAT!?? I'm so sick of you liberal, nigger & jew loving, dope smoking faggots undermining our good, Christian, American way of life!!! [whacks Mang on the nose] CHRISTMAS IS STILL ABOUT CHRIST YOU FUCKER!!!
#78
Literate Chaotic / Mangrove's Letter To America #1
December 06, 2005, 09:10:08 PM
Dear America,


No, in fact, this letter is to one American in particular. That's right, I'm talking to YUO Mr J Rodriguez of Connecticut.

Lemme get this straight. You were:

Awaiting a court appearance on a number of minor felonies and what did you do? That's right, you called the court house with a BOMB THREAT and now you are convicted of Terrorism(tm) because you thought that would get you out of a trial. Like...Duh......

HAVE YOU NOT SEEN ANY NEWSPAPERS, TV OR INTERNET SINCE SEPT 2001?

Try cracking a book moran.

Yours kabbalistically,


Mangrove
#79
Secrets of Cabala Revealed In Discordia!*

As you know, when I am not tending bar, snoozing in my office or talking the scrid out for a walk, I like to twist words, numbers and my brain into interesting new shapes for fun and enlightenment.

As some of you are aware (being the scholars that you are), that in Crowley's Liber AL, it is written that a kabbalah should be formed around the English alphabet. Different Thelemic groups have come up with their own answers as to what these attributions might be. As a laugh, I adopted the system as expounded by the Hermetic Order Of the QBLH and chewed up a few forum related words to see what I could see. Their system of Gematria is as follows:

A = 1 L = 2 W = 3 H = 4 S = 5 D = 6 O = 7 Z = 8 K = 9 V = 10 G = 11
R = 12 C = 13 N = 14 J = 16 U = 17 F = 18 Q = 19 B = 20 M = 21 X = 22
I = 23 T = 24 E = 25 P = 26...oh and Y = 15 (apologies to DJ)

(Gematria: The process by which each letter of a word or words, is converted to its numerical equivalent. Worlds yielding the same value are connected by their common numerical vibration and [on one plane or another] descriptive of each other.)

In this system, the word MANG' equals to 47. Nothing interesting about that. But the letters, S.S.O.O.K.N also = 47! The fun part is knowing that TROLL is also a 47. I always considered myself to be rubbish at trolling. Does this mean I am one? Should I become one? Who cares? :)

By using theosophical reduction (ie: adding the numbers together..) we can try 4 + 7 = 11. Now 11 is an important to Thelemites as a symbol of the great work, but it is an important Discordian number as I'll demonstrate later.  As a side point, the word WILL, another Crowley classic is 11 in this system. 11 is sacred to Nigel Tufnell and to the English who like to drink tea at this time.

The name LMNO = 44. You may be pleased to learn that LOVE also is 44. But then so is HORAB and MALAUL! Maybe you're all in love? With each other? Or maybe that love is your true nature or that by demonstrating love in whatever way means "we're all HORAB"? Whatever! (though this might account for some of the flirting. Note also 44 is a multiple of 11.)

No analysis would be complete without a BAR (33). Ironically, our friend the scrid was playing JAZZ (33). Those of us that like carbs are, of course, members of the C.L.F. (33). The masons have 33 degrees (shhhh!). IF you're a musician you'll appreciate 33...and a 1/3. (spelled third but pronounced 'turd' if you're from southern Ireland).

The I began contemplating JAZZ. The development of 33 1/3 and the rise of the long player was a key moment in the history of JAZZ. An evolutionary flashpoint enabling the great improvisers of yesteryear to stretch out into previously unknown, unheard and un-thought of territories. Consider the enormity of the leap from early Louis Armstrong to A Love (44) Supreme!

I pursued with the JAZZ angle further as it provided the most fitting metaphor for the forum. Probably any forum in fact, but especially ours.

Like the JAZZ musician there is a theme, or for us, a thread. Everyone collectively improvises upon that thread, expressing their individuality within a group structure. No one knows where it will lead. Sometimes a threadjack is the best thing that can happen - kind of like the way Thelonious Monk would play standards, leaving odd, spikey chords hanging in the wrong places, but still sounding cool somehow.

The board is not unlike the early 1940's in New York, where all the young musicians caught in the soul numbing formula of the swing orchestra would gather together, hang, blow off steam and sometimes get combative on the bandstand. Anyone was welcome to sit in, but that did not necessarily guarantee that one could win the audience and survive.

Like JAZZ, there's a fine line between pushing the envelope and grandstanding. A fine line between artful meandering and going up one's ass. It doesn't always work, but when it works well it is something remarkable.

But these are but the outer mysteries. There is more....but it is shocking  :shock:  

Then there's ERIS. A 65 in this system. But if anyone gets this assbackwards, then they're a NOOB. (56). Sometimes, people who think they're GREAT (56) act like a NOOB. Coincidence? Yes! But what does it mean and how did it happen? And of course, 6 + 5 = 11 which is why 11 could be a secret Erisian number (but only if you want it to be).

CHEF D is a 66 but so is PIZZA, which suggests that Turd & Roger had some weird connection. Turd aka , JUSTIN gives us a 99. Again, multiples of the (maybe) sacred 11. Perhaps CHEF D got fat eating too much of JUSTIN's pizza? Mysterious enough for you? Of course not! There's more....

There is however, a mystery which will kick those goatbutt kissing, infidel slaying, head worshipping Knights Templar into touch.

Not long ago, I heard a word in my dream. That word was SCRID. I didn't know what it was so I posted it on the forum and received a number of wonderfully insightful replies. It transpired that LMNO's definitions were my favourite, hence the use of 'SCRID' as a figment of OB's ongoing quantum hallucinations. Then the one we knew as TURD said that 'scrids' were those sad, ineffectual, leftover cannabis crumbs. Once again, kabbalistic coincidence reveals all:

SCRID = 59!      

TURD = 59!

We cannot stop here! We must go further! Only now can I reveal the unbelievable truth. It begins........

D I S C O R D I A

Then look closely.....

D I S C O R D I A

Rearrange.....

S C R I D!

By telling you the following, I must initiate you all into the 22nd innermost degree of S.S.O.O.KN. Ready? The essence of Discordia is SCRID TANTRA. That's right. We have to mate spiritually with the scrid kind. Behold the marriage vow:

  A SCRID? I DO!

Shout it out loud! I DO A SCRID!


*DISCLAIMER - The above hermetica-lite is for entertainment purposes only and any resemblance to wisdom, insight or spiritual illumination is entirely unintentional.
#80
Literate Chaotic / Enoch-knock. Who's there? Eris!
April 03, 2005, 02:41:06 PM
The Enochian Greeting of Eris

aka Liber "Geez Mang', we're getting really worried about you. Go book a vacation or something."

A true and faithful relation of what occurred between Mangrove and his sleep deprived mind.

Micma! Zirdo Eris od ol niis pugo lap.

Ol Gnay oucho ollog baglen ol adgt od baglen ol patralx!

Om! Othil turbs od vaon od t-i dooain I 0.

Noib, ol noas orsba ol zorge peripsol (Q ip) crip ohio pugo priazi n00bz baglen z-chis ip amiran.

Pilah, gohus drilpa chis ollog ds adgt om fnord.



PS - translation available on giving a damn  :wink:
#81
Dee: After my fervent prayers made to Eris, for her mercifull cumfort and instruction, I did get some ynkling that I were truely shyt out of lucke. Thus did she pwn and rebuke me with much nawghtynes....

I willed, the Skryer (named Malaul) to loke into my great Chrystaline Globe, yf Eris had sent a signe or no. And Malaul loking into my forsayd stone, for to espie a signe, she saw there one. An apple did appere very bewtifull, glittering like gold. Yt had beams like ster beams, blasing and spreading from it. In letters that seemed all transparent gold: which Malaul was able to presently reade:

  S T F U

In the mean space, I, In my Oratory did pray, and make motion to Eris, and her good Creatures for the furdering of this Action.

I sayd: I pray you make these instructions, more playne and evident.

Eris: I have shewed thee perfectly. Behold n00b I teache thee agayne. O how mercifull is Goddess that revealeth so great secrets to a shyt hed of flesh and blud? Thou hast 4 letters: S T F U.

After a tyme, there cam a woman: and flung up an apple and a voyce was hard saying, Fnord. The apple went into the darkness, and brought with it a great white Globe hollow transparent. Then she entered a Bar. The woman seamed to daunce and swyng about the Bar and drunkenly walking, carrying in her hand a little scryd and skiddeth it across the floore.  She taketh it in her hand agayne, and casteth it up onto the rownd Globe and sayd:

Fnord.

Eris: Take heade of punishment for your lak of slakness!

Thus did I take leaue of my Oratory and eate of the hott dogge when....arggargghghhhhhh...........
#82
Literate Chaotic / The Book Of Teh n00b.
March 30, 2005, 09:57:20 PM
The Book Of Teh n00b.
   or
  LIBER CIXII

(sub figura xxiii)

As delivered by 275 to xvii

Official Pineal Download of the

S. S. O. O. K. N.

Publication in Class Eh?


1. Asshat! The manifestation of the n00b.

2. Every man & every woman is in the Open Bar.

3. We are all Horab anyway.

4. (oh yes, and bunnies too)

5. But the n00bs are not of us!

6. The lame-o, the Emo, the grey face are
not where we are.

7. If thou troll, then troll without mercy,
or else eat cookies & pie.

8. There is no law beyond post what thou wilt -
Nublar0sity is struck down by the secret 4-fold
word that I have given ye. Count well it's name
and number.

9. S.T.F.U.

10. Take your fill of hawt seks1 ch1x0rs as ye will
but take no offense if they refuse and pwn your sorry ass.

11. Eat thy carbs, drink thy caffeine & alcohol - but
always unto me. Take strange drugs when typing...or ordinary
ones....or none. (see if I care!)

12. X 34 7 B 1 Q ZZ T 76 18 K W Q F C O AKD

13. What does this mean O my prophet? Fucked if I know,
you should have better things to do with your time.

14. Praise me with poems, rants & haiku.
(They'll probably be shit, but do it anyway)

15. The random, the quirky, the surprising, the freaky,
the horny, the weird, the eccentric - all are ye welcome
in my house. But not the n00B! Shun them as ye would shun
the hunch brain. Blarghing random crap a discordian it dost
not make.

16. LDD or ELF - there is no difference. As brothers/sisters
jake ye.

17. WTF? Study this holy book of n00b for it contains many
mysteries....and some junk (maybe).

18. Post what thou wilt. The word of the Law is FNORD.

19. Avatar and screen names are illusions, but there is that
which remains. Quote others and change their letters freely.

20. Kallisti j0! My numbers are 5 & 23. Add, subtract, divide,
multiply & generally mess around to connect everything to my
sacred numerals in the most tenuous & preposterous ways possible.

21. Be not deceived by the capital 'T'- O.M.! Ha!

22. Thud, the fat cursed city is teh sux0rs. Tread drunkenly
among the mouth breathers. Don't read this. Distribute this
as required. Or not.

23. Own! The book of the n00B is revealed.


The Comment

1. Bite me.
2. Bite me.
3. Bite me.
4. The neo-con studies these runes but understandeth them not.
5. There is great error if one reads this and cares.
#83
Literate Chaotic / what in the hell is a.....
March 23, 2005, 03:38:20 PM
scrid?
i heard this word in a dream last night. if possible, please identify....failing that, create amusing & original definition.

i would be really pleased if we can convince other people that this word is in common usage and that they're simply not very 'with it' for not knowing.

maybe 6 months from now, someone will claim to have invented it or cite some preposterous etymology.