Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on February 22, 2008, 12:46:16 AM

Title: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on February 22, 2008, 12:46:16 AM
So may Dad gave us a venison leg roast and we can't decide what to do with it... a typical roast seems boring... we toyed with the idea of Venison Tandori and I decided to ask PD.com

What should we do with a large venison leg roast?
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Jasper on February 22, 2008, 02:32:02 AM
Smoke it.

No, not like that!  WTF?!

Smoke it with cherry tree chips and a simple rub.

Fuck yeah.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 22, 2008, 04:13:27 AM
Quote from: Dr. Felix Mackay on February 22, 2008, 02:32:02 AM
Smoke it.

No, not like that!  WTF?!

Smoke it with cherry tree chips and a simple rub.

Fuck yeah.

i wholeheartedly agree w/ this.

i would use a rub of
salt
pepper
thyme
rosemary
paprika
brown sugar
onion powder
garlic powder (or fresh=better)
touch of cayenne

leave rub on overnight
smoke for about 12-18 hours w/ the cherry wood depending on weight
pull it apart when done and eat it till you HURT!
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on February 22, 2008, 04:46:27 AM
I have not a smoker though
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 22, 2008, 06:06:29 AM
make one?

there are websites that show you how to make em out of a hotplate and terra cotta pots

or you could mod an old gun cabinet

etc...


:mullet:
   \
Er yew cood pick one up and the wal marts fer like sisty bucks er so. mhm.

it's an investment.
everyone should have one.
note: my opinion only and it could very well suck
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: LMNO on February 22, 2008, 03:01:54 PM
Poke holes in venison

insert 40 cloves of Garlic and a handful of fresh sage or rosemary.

Braise using an entire bottle of red wine.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Darth Cupcake on February 22, 2008, 03:04:18 PM
CS, your rub suggestion sounds effing AMAZING.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: LMNO on February 22, 2008, 03:15:27 PM
The only possible snag is that venison roasts have very little connective tissue, which is the stuff that breaks down and melts and makes smoked pork so shreddingly tender and juicy.

The braise is reccommended because it adds liquid and flavor to the meat.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Darth Cupcake on February 22, 2008, 03:20:55 PM
Also, 40 cloves of garlic FTW! 8)
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Jasper on February 22, 2008, 03:22:55 PM
Alternately, you could turn it into venison sausage.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Suu on February 22, 2008, 04:15:09 PM
*Has never eaten Bambi or his parents, despite being offered it many times*
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Jasper on February 22, 2008, 04:23:10 PM
I thought bambi was a girl.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 22, 2008, 04:36:57 PM
that rub is really good.

if you can't smoke it then definitely take LMNO's suggestion and braise it.
but for the liquid I would use
white wine (1 bottle)
vinegar(1/2 cup)
worcestershire (2 tbsp)
1/4 c. brown sugar
crushed garlic (a lot)
1/2 small onion chopped fine
few dashes of soy (yes, believe it)

do leave the rub on overnight before braising. trust me.
cover w/ foil or make a big foil pouch for it
cook on 275F for like 8 hours
it'll fall apart in your mouth and make you crap yourself with delight.

or go w/ what LMNO said which is a lot easier


Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: LMNO on February 22, 2008, 04:39:05 PM
I like your rub, CS.  I'll be sure to use it on my next roast.


Although, if it makes me crap when I taste it, I might need a mop and bucket...
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Darth Cupcake on February 22, 2008, 04:47:36 PM
CS, you seem to use brown sugar in many things.

I hope this isn't too forward, but, uh, would you marry me? :lol:
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Jasper on February 22, 2008, 05:01:15 PM
I've been toying with the notion of replacing brown sugar in recipes with molasses or dark muscovado (sp?).
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Darth Cupcake on February 22, 2008, 05:09:03 PM
Molasses... Oh god I love molasses...

Step 1) Bake delicious homemade cornbread
Step 2) Cut yourself a still-warm steamy piece of homemade delicious cornbread
Step 3) Spread molasses on said cornbread o' the gods
Step 4) Eat
Step 5) ???
Step 6) Profit OH SO TASTY!
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 22, 2008, 05:40:52 PM
molasses is good but if you're not careful it can be more bitter than sweet.

and LOL D-cup
brown sugar is great because it counter balances some of the heat from the cayenne in the rub and caramelizes it. forming a nice crust in the fridge overnight.
mmm its sweet, spicy, herby, garlicy, vinegary..........









:x   i want.


now.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Darth Cupcake on February 22, 2008, 05:51:28 PM
*droooool*
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: LMNO on February 22, 2008, 05:54:03 PM
I think it's awesome so many of y'all dig food as much as I do.

Now, how y'all are able to stay so damn thin... that's the secret I'm looking for.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Jasper on February 22, 2008, 05:55:48 PM
No sugar or milk in coffee, and only eating fresh stuff and only when I get hungry.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Darth Cupcake on February 22, 2008, 06:09:04 PM
Much like Felix, I avoid snackage.

Also, I run like three to four miles a day for stress relief purposes. Apparently it helps keep you healthy, too!

Oh yeah, and I avoid high fructose corn syrup like the plague. I am convinced that it is the devil. As soon as I almost completely cut food containing high fructose corn syrup out of my diet, simultaneously with not using my car and walking/taking public transit everywhere, I literally lost about 15 pounds, my acne cleared up, and my hair started growing in healthier. After the initial "getting over it" phase, I also just stopped ever wanting it. I still take care of my teeth the same as ever, and my dentist has remarked on how much improved they are.

I am convinced that high fructose corn syrup is spelling doom for all humanity.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: LMNO on February 22, 2008, 06:15:09 PM
Yeah, I do the same.

I think I just picked up on it too late.  It can be said I'm not gaining, but it's still about 15 lbs too high for my taste.

Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Darth Cupcake on February 22, 2008, 06:23:09 PM
LiveJournal is full of pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia groups, just waiting for you to be their friend...
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: LMNO on February 22, 2008, 06:23:56 PM
Can you be anorexic and love to cook at the same time?
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Richter on February 22, 2008, 06:29:18 PM
Bulemics could love cooking, they'd just plan the meal for 2 trips, not one.

Back to the anti-corn syrup sentiment, I recently gave up the soda with similar results.  Otherwise my diet never does see much of the stuff.   

Edit for missread reply
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Suu on February 22, 2008, 06:33:53 PM
CS needs to cook for me next week when I'm in teh Florida.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Jasper on February 22, 2008, 07:22:51 PM
D-Cup, for me it's high fructose corn syrup as well as hydrogenated oils.  Hydrogenation doesn't do much for your shelf life, no matter how long the food stays unspoiled.  Yuck.  Aspartame too.  In fact, pretty much anything synthetic could be used either as poison or embalming fluid, it seems.

Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Richter on February 22, 2008, 07:30:27 PM
Food preservation IS emblaming, if you think about it.

Unless you're buying green vegetables, active cultures, or pulsating meat.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: LMNO on February 22, 2008, 07:38:57 PM
Quote from: Richter on February 22, 2008, 07:30:27 PM
Food preservation IS emblaming, if you think about it.

Unless you're buying green vegetables, active cultures, or pulsating meat.


You just described a typical saturday night.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Jasper on February 22, 2008, 07:39:59 PM
lmao @ pulsating meat.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Suu on February 22, 2008, 07:55:34 PM
Quote from: LMNO on February 22, 2008, 07:38:57 PM
Quote from: Richter on February 22, 2008, 07:30:27 PM
Food preservation IS emblaming, if you think about it.

Unless you're buying green vegetables, active cultures, or pulsating meat.


You just described a typical saturday night.

:potd:
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on February 22, 2008, 08:16:19 PM
Another option, going in a completely different direction, is to put the meat in a pan and cover with hot salsa.  Cook slowly for around 6 hours.  The acid in the tomatoes helps tenderize the meat.  Serve it with some yellow rice and a salad.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Darth Cupcake on February 22, 2008, 08:16:36 PM
Quote from: Richter on February 22, 2008, 07:30:27 PM
Food preservation IS emblaming, if you think about it.

Unless you're buying green vegetables, active cultures, or pulsating meat.

Actually, that's one of the things I miss most about living in Europe--food generally ISN'T preserved to crazy extents. The skinniest/healthiest I've ever been was while in Paris, despite the fact that I drank plenty of beer, eat huge amounts of cheese and whole milk yogurt daily, enjoyed chocolate croissants, tons of bread, etc.

So basically, as Felix called it out, stay away from the synthetics.

I just like it so much better when all the effort is removed from it because there really isn't much in the way of fake stuff in the foods! Alas. I miss that.

-DC
Perhaps should put "well, Europe just has such better food quality!" in her statement of purpose...?
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Nast on February 23, 2008, 03:31:34 AM
The heathen peoples of India use pureed papaya in their marinades to tenderize their meat.


Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Jasper on February 23, 2008, 04:53:10 AM
That's a notion. 
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 23, 2008, 06:57:46 AM
Quote from: Suu Fett on February 22, 2008, 06:33:53 PM
CS needs to cook for me next week when I'm in teh Florida.

this sounds like a great excuse for me to throw meat in the smoker.

do you like pork, or pork? cause i can also make pork.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Suu on February 23, 2008, 06:07:39 PM
Quote from: Cthulhu's Squidling on February 23, 2008, 06:57:46 AM
Quote from: Suu Fett on February 22, 2008, 06:33:53 PM
CS needs to cook for me next week when I'm in teh Florida.

this sounds like a great excuse for me to throw meat in the smoker.

do you like pork, or pork? cause i can also make pork.

Why yes I DO! How did you know?

Of course I have no idea how I'll get to Orlando.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 24, 2008, 06:44:07 AM
i could send this?
(http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/photos/uncategorized/magicbus.jpg)
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Suu on February 24, 2008, 07:29:22 PM
No lie, there was a psychedelic painted school bus in the woods somewhere along I-4 for years, I remember seeing it on multiple occasions during my family's trips to Melbourne to visit relatives. It was on the Eastbound side, but I'm sure it's long-gone now with all the shitty developments that have sprung up. That or the 2 more lanes of highway they added.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Triple Zero on February 24, 2008, 09:17:24 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on February 22, 2008, 08:16:36 PM-DC
Perhaps should put "well, Europe just has such better food quality!" in her statement of purpose...?

depends heavily on the country, as well. Austria completely pwns the Netherlands in food quality, for example.

also, my austrian ex-gf made awesome pork-leg-roast
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Triple Zero on February 24, 2008, 09:27:57 PM
Quote from: LMNO on February 22, 2008, 05:54:03 PMI think it's awesome so many of y'all dig food as much as I do.

Now, how y'all are able to stay so damn thin... that's the secret I'm looking for.

well cooking IS awesome. it's like, chemical laboratory mad science, AND you get to eat it! :)

and i agree with the rest about staying thin, i hardly eat candy or soda drinks, for example. and sports. also, i don't eat very much, i'm full pretty quickly. so when i cook something complicated, it's usually food for the next couple of days. at least, currently being single, cooking for two is in fact a lot more fun.

actually, Mango and I made a stew for nearly 100 people last friday, that's also a lot of fun :D :D especially when you're basically the "chef cooks" and have about 6 people to do the cutting for you. we just had to stir, taste and decide on whether the stew could use more red wine (answer: YES) and make sure the ingredients went into the pot in the right order.
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Darth Cupcake on February 25, 2008, 12:28:52 AM
Yeah, but the you don't get to exclaim "KIIIIYAAAH!" while cutting the veggies.

-DC
Mostly just likes having food minions to mince her garlic
Title: Re: Venison Leg Roast - WTF?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 25, 2008, 05:54:18 PM
I have to differ with everyone on the long cooking time. Because of the leanness of venison, it doesn't make the tenderest roast when well-done, and if you cook the fuck out of it, it loses its lovely venison characteristics and resembles lean beef.

IMO, the way to go is to rub it liberally with lard, salt it, pat it with black pepper, put it in an oven preheated to 550, reduce the heat to 350 and dry-roast it uncovered on a rack, about 20 minutes per pound.