Quote from: Cainad on August 23, 2013, 03:04:53 PM
P.T. Poxwattle!
I have a serious problem with snake-oil salesmen. I keep buying their snake oil and now my house is so full of snake oil jars that I can't hardly get around my own home. This slick shine you see all over me is not sweat: I am literally covered in snake oil. My wife has taken the kids off to her mother's house until I can get my problem sorted out.
Can you help?
Can Phineas T Poxwattle help?
They say there are no stupid questions, only stupid people, and as my old friend PT Barnum used to say, uh, "Cash or credit?"
Can Phineas T Poxwattle help?
Why just look around you. *subtly pulls blanket over the fish tank and unconscious bodies surrounding it*
Too much snake oil, you say? You've got pills out the gills? Too much medical junk in your trunk?
Here's what I've got for you. A top hat. A cane. A tin of mustache wax. A soap box. A Dream!
You, yes YOU, can make unbelievable money by hocking snake oil, home remedies, homeopathic chicanery, and sugar pills. All you need is a half dozen complete boobs, halfwits, nitwits, cockleberries, numbskulls, spags, macguffins, and tin foil hat wearing cranks.
I'll get you started!
*pushes Cainad up onto the soap box, wipes his forehead with a cloth, sits down, exhausted*