In Great Honour of a "Kallisti", the eclectic Le Elohm, I endeavour to continue the thread in Principia!
A ......5, 7, 5, format, to include a "next topic" post!
Goes like this........
Across the valley
Grey misty vapours pour in.
Yorkshire Fog descends.
Next topic.......Mountains.
Atop the plateau
the sound of man does not reach.
I recline in peace
I hope that one's good. I'm a little rusty on haiku.
Next topic is the firmament, the ether, space, or what word you use for what envelops this place
well now, philosophy class rears it's golden head :
think on heidegger
reach a hand past space : now do
we dwell in nothing?
okay there love. i answered yours....
next topic : cookies as a metaphor.
Gee, left me an easy topic there, didn't you? :shock:
In the vast, dark void,
a peanut-butter cookie
is better than air
Yes, I am rusty with the old haiku as well... Next topic:
"Farm Equipment"
Tractor pulling hay.
Insecticides sprayed about!
We all end up worms!
Next topic.....Water.
Spring is in the air
She said, as the clouds above
began to leak down.
Yes, that's bloody terrible, sorry.
Next topic: A man lying unconcious.
Let's try this haiku thing...
Five bottles of rum
Ten joints full of top-notch weed
I fear the morning
next topic: Fire
This one's for the cabal homies
His hand hits the stove,
but Henry Rollins cares not -
He's stronger than fire!
Next topic: Frozen peas
Stir-fry vegetables,
Frozen, with peas and corn,
Taste good with chicken
Next Topic... Hand Cream
Chapped fingers so dry.
"Neutragena" from Norway,
Saves flaking digits.
Next topic..........cellphones! :x
silence in train
broken by a disney tune
the pain will not end
next topic: Pizza
Dough-faced pizza man,
your cheeks rise like baking bread.
Your grin is a knife.
Next topic: clowns! :twisted:
White face and red lips.
His trousers always fall down.
The tears of a clown!
next topic.....statues.
A head of marble
A wintry white sentinel
Eyes that cannot see.
Next topic: Kurt Vonnegut :D
Sorry, didn't mean to kill the haiku game! I'll change the "Next Topic" to: your choice.
:)
Velvet Jesus killed
the thread with a tough topic
But has made amends :wink:
Next topic: DNA
The double helix,
Makes me what I am today.
I'm no Selfish Gene!
next topic.................ice.
My soda is warm,
It is not tasty that way,
Ice cubes do the trick!
next topic... Tyler (yes, I know, I know...)
Swastika avatar,
Heavy mind with mighty words.
Still polishing tiles!
next topic.........stellar nucleo-synthesis! :mrgreen:
Stars burning their fuel.
Centres collapsing outwards.
We're made of star-dust!
next topic..........cats! 8)
Light paws, quickening
on railings, a high wire act:
Shadow play of cats.
lol @ Conquistadore Nunya :)
Next topic: a blizzard
Windswept snowflakes fall.
In the shrill whiteout flurry.
Covers my footsteps!
(Basho composed some sharp Haiku based on winter's snows)
next topic...............Absinthe :mrgreen:
Emerald liquor,
Best taken with water and sugar!
Sets my soul on fire!
next topic.......Hotdogs!
Tasty beef and pig
Bought from a street vendor here
Do not eat the buns
Next topic: Chicken Nuggets!
Tasty beef and pig
Bought from a street vendor here
Do not eat the buns
Next topic: Chicken Nuggets!
Crispy Crusty Shell
Around White Succulant Meat
Sold In Packs Of Five
Next topic: Those squeaky dog toys that go "ni ni ni ni ni" when you squeeze them rapidly.
ni ni ni ni ni
the squeaky dog that goes "ni"
ni ni ni ni ni.
:P
Next topic: Eris!
well...it would seem that eris would appreciate a good rousing drunken irish limerick before a haiku, so...
there once was a goddess from greece,
who said "tyler, oh please
you're befouling my board
with your spoutings of 'fnord'
someone wants you - go join the police"
:)
next topic...swollen tonsils. i feel like poop today. *gack*
Itchy sensation
Pain killers dont help me sleep
Haiku alleviates
Next topic: Mirror sunglasses
Redneck policeman
Says "Boy, you goin' to jail!"
I had better run!
Next on the agenda: Shaving Cream
Helps smoothe the razor.
Lubricating menthol gell.
The green King of Shaves!
Next topic.........uninvited guests/ :(
Get out of my house.
I am going to stab you.
You are bleeding now!
next topic: Carpet stains
Fallen Shiraz glass,
How you broke to spread your red!
The beige carpet stained!
next topic........lust. :shock:
Just out of their sight
Our bodies in the darkness
Build to ecstasy
Next topic: whirlpools
a sensual dance
of cleansing, light and darkness...
....how i love laundry.
aw, i missed the lust haiku?
next topic : your greatest love
though small of stature
her handshake gives me meaning
I am her servant
next topic: your greatest love
Black pearl of chaos
Kali's limbs and eris' mind
Her soul is sacred
Next topic... your greatest hate, exempting Tyler if applicable. He's already had his own haiku. :wink:
His mind frozen hard
His mouth open and yapping
You don't have a clue
Next topic... midnight
Deep dark end of day!
Marks begining of the next.
"Down at Tube Station". :P
next topic............bowling!
Pins fall down when hit
Bowling is not my pet game
ball lands in gutter
next topic....seanbaby (http://www.seanbaby.com)'s celebrating independence day like a bad mother fucker
Sean Baby is here!
More so than his dead father!
Generations fly!
next topic........cloned aliens! :lol:
Raging Xenomorph
Cloned from Sigourny Weaver
Hey! Don't eat my face!
Next topic socks!
Im no good at these.... but I love socks.... so here goes...
uhhhhh...... *thinks*
Spoon wants to whack you
With a sock full of quarters
dont touch his chilli fries!
is that right?
if so.... then next topic..... chilli fries!
Spicy beans and meat,
Coupled with starch and some salt,
Make a tasty meal!
Ack! I nearly forgot to give the next topic!...
How about rats?
Long tailed brown rodent,
Sniffs the air, whiskers twitching.
Caught in the rat trap!
next topic.......haute cuisine. :lol:
Green Plant Placed Right Makes,
Fasionably Elegant,
Ugly Meal In Past.
next topic, the serum that fills burn blisters :shock:
Sickly clear fluid,
Bursts forth when pricked with a pin.
Red raw skin beneath.
Next topic........Feathers. :P
toture in extremes,
worse than sandpaper contacts,
feather to the toe.
next topic, John Lennon on 20 hits of LSD :shock:
flying high,
trying to touch the sky,
floating through worlds of non-existence
next topic..... the movie 'shining'
Where's Jack with that axe?
"Hi Honey I'm home!" *Smashes door*.
Crazed Motherf*cker.
next topic..........nipples. :oops:
Dont twist them too hard
If you do so on a whim
sometimes they come off
next topic - Bratwurst
thick, juicy, meaty.
placed in my girlfriends mouth.
resembles my cock. :oops: 8)
next topic......TUMS
"Wiener" in her mouth,
Masticated to a pulp,
Ends in her stomach!
Next topic.........Psycho-sexual-tendencies........(Subtle stuff please!)
Strangulation breeds addiction
Minor asphyxiation
I wont ever stop
Next topic: Bees
Damn bees sting my bum,
it is so friggin swollen,
Now it hurts to crap.
next topic, Cacti
The stationary
Defender of the water
Life where there is none
Next topic: Electrical Shock
Muscle contraction?
holy screaming eagle shit!
ZAP! I am now dead.
next topic: Fight.
Chun-Li kicks Zangeif
I miss old Street Fighter Two
Super Nintendo!
next topic..... good old Atari!
BOOM, you are now dead.
battletank for atari
man those were the days.
cmon guys, its the best i could do!
next topic....The extinction of dinosaurs
Asteroid hits Earth.
Sixty five million years.
Evolution ends!
next topic...........statues.
optic disaster,
vacant of true expression,
poorly carved statue.
next topic, spilt bong water
smells like pure coal-tar...
see what your lung is doing for you...
always pay attention not to spread it on the ground...
next topic...... 'used condoms'
phantom pope (hope4dope)
Juggling a monkey,
Against the bitter wind;
What a pretty sight!
What, no topic for the next Haiku?
I dont think that last one was on topic anyway.... so I'd guess its still on "used condoms" then?
*smiles graciously*....O)h..yes SpoonE...that Haiku was on topic! :shock:
Sadly few of us see it that way!
Next topic....what's the use of condoms? :oops:
reduces my fun,
less sensation than before,
yay birth control pills!!!!!!
next topic, Phil Collins
With Phil at the helm,
Gabriel couldn't cut it,
Genesis was dope
next topic, Fire
Yellow starry ball.
That fills the skies with brightness.
No flame can dim thee.
next topic.........wealth. :shock:
lots'n lots'n cash,
buys many naked women,
smothered in hotties.
next topic, vegetable seasoning
tantalizing flake,
savoury essence of plant,
im salivting
next topic.....Green Boxes
Little Green Boxes,
Each made of Ticky-Tacky.
Green Boxes called "home".
next topic...........sunglasses.
makes you look like don johnson in miami vice,
enables you to view the world in blue or pink or ...
protects your eyes instead of beeing burned by sun
next topic .... pink panther
Pink Carnivore Beast
Top Hat, Walking Stick, Jazz-Tune
Chased By Blue Midget
Next topic...Poker
first five oranges,
oops i mean five poker chips,
or five cards of glue.
next topic....farts
Pungent, gaseous,
Wafting from posterior.
Only smell your own!
Next topic.............watches.
saw strapping young lad,
i am now beaten to shit,
found watch on the floor.
next topic......lifeguards
GW Bush have/needs plenty,
beware you of the shark at the beach,
are specialized for the next 1 minute and know what exactly is to do
next topic .... dentists
phantom pope (fish is risk)
Two rotten toofies,
novocaine, pliers are
ah! relief at last.
Sucks! Ack. You shouldn't have read it.
Next topic: aspic.
what the fuck is it?
The true aspic mystery!!!
just what does that mean?
next topic, punk music(written negatively)
punk is just like funk,
rank: dirty and muddy,
blank from da scratch!
next topic .... ants
phantom pope (rock lock)
With Formic Acid.
Don't let ants get in your pants!
They're Mostly Harmless!
next topic.......birds. :P
Silent, wingless flight.
Two oragami pigeons
come fluttering down.
Next topic: cheesecake :P
So naked of breast,
Strikes a questionable pose.
With a cheesy grin!
next topic.......Planets. :P
Hole in the night sky
glowing like a second sun
Earth's sister planet.
Next topic: earthquakes
Get in the doorway!
I am so scared, please hold me!
We're all going to die!!!!
next topic: Tornadoes (we should do a whole series of natural disaster ones... heh)
spiral wind
enormous power
better go s0mewhere else
next topic ..... x-rays
phantom pope (lay gay tray)
A powerful ray,
Makes the fertile, infertile!
Aim not at my nuts!
Next topic: Hurricane (back to natural disasters!)
on the water i can dance my tribes
hurricane is a synonym for tornados
like blizzards are ice-hurricanes
next topic ..... tsunami (back to da root)
phantom pope (boot my root)
fucking rainy day. :roll:
its a bit more windy now....... :?
OH FUCK, TSUNAMI!!!! :shock:
next topic.....The dirt ring in the bathtub
:lol:
*A gentle reminder to all Haiku posters......
1st line....5 syllables
2nd line.....7 syllables
3rd line ....5 syllables....
First two lines generally interlink...
last line can go off at a tangent but should display relevancy!!!!!! :lol:
oh ring in the tub
i wish i was in the pub
dirty place of clean.
Next topic:
knight time
This english broadsword
I am adept in its use
Your armor is fail
Next topic:
I have to pee.
An urgent pressure,
Bladder is about to burst!
Oops! Now pants are wet...
Try this one: Tesla
danger high voltage,
don't get roasted like beefsteak,
better stay away.
next topic ..... !next topic :shock:
phantom pope (elecTRICKick)
To pick or not to.
Both are nose poking problems.
Pinky fingers best! 8)
next topic........wind..... :P
damnit.... I missed the tesla subject.... remember in that thread about dreams I had one about Tesla?.... damn...
anyway...
wind blows hard outside..
need to open the window...
fly a kite inside....
next topic.... undies...
Superman's undies,
Worn outside of the leggings.
Just how did he "fly"? :lol:
next topic.....parma ham
Salted and air-dried,
Tasty Italian ham.
Great Football team too!
next topic...........stars.
Bright light in the sky;
Said he'd never shine again
But now he's smiling
(He He, this is about a guy I was madly in love with in High School. I used to call him "Shiny" because that's what he was, (except when he got depressed). He was a bit psycho, but very cute and poetic 8) )
Next topic: moonflowers
That Finger Pointing,
The flower's eternity.
Meditate on this.
Whooooooaaaahhh..........100 posts!!!
Thank you Haiku posters!!!!!
next topic.....building sites!
An early website,
Chock full of GIFs and MIDIs,
Not the way to go.
Bonus Haiku, same topic...
Take a bad website,
Add on a good Message Board,
Lose MIDIs, now cool!
Next topic: Greyfaces who purchase Time-Share vacations...
Darn those greyfaces!
That guy, who works at Wallgreens,
He is a cabbage!
Next topic: pickled plums
my first try at a haiku so here goes...
stored in vinegar
fine complementing flavours
they are a fine food
and as this if i get this right will be the 2001'st post on the forum the next subject should be...
2001 a space oddesy
Oh Stanley Kubrick
If Apes invent Death Metal
I am very proud
Next topic: I am the black wizards
Apologies in advance ZZZ,
"I'm the Black Wizards"
Old Peculiar Topic,
I'll drink to that brew!
(The Old Peculiar is a dark beer brewed in Masham, North Yorkshire. The "Old Peculiar" is the title given to the wizard geezer who applied his magic stamp to the earliest of beers brewed there.......hence the "Seal of the Old Peculiar of Masham" around the bottles/beers!)
next topic......Italian Wine
from toscana over,
milano and perlermo,
deliscious-daily-drink
next t0pic .... 'can' openers
phantom pope (mOVE2roOVE)
cool Can openers
they open cans for me
then i eat the food
next topic: Assassins
dangerous dancer
softly treading, part devil
of deliverance.
Next topic: duct tape
sticky on one side
fix anything you put it on
millions of uses...
next topic.... ghost cookies...
Naughty little things,
Lurk inside your computer.
Your secrets are known!
next topic...........chocolates.
Aztecs smoked the leaves
But it was Cadbury's who
Really got it right
Next Topic: Fundies
Fundies are stupid
Atheist fundies are jerks
I used to be one.
Next topic: Buddha
siddharta you fool
enlightened you were indeed
but so are we all
next topic mobiles
Look for the mobiles
Outside of your Mind and they....
Become the devil!!
Sorry..just couldn't resist that one!!
next topic..............broken glass!
shards of jagged glass
dangerous to walk upon
wear shoes if you must
pork pies
Pork Shop in Skipton,
Makes the "Celebrated Pies",
Juices run when hot!
next topic..........scaffolding!
not easy to walk on,
too much in the hood,
may block your way
cave painting
phantom pope (lICKbrICKs)
Man-thing is killing
In red and black lines we see
Glorious deed done
Next Topic: Politics!
Euphoric
-Potato
Correct Politics,
Are not at all what they seem.
Black is white is black.
next topic...........skateboards. :P
titus drives you well,
double-flips may drift away,
free-style right to hell!
next topic ..... martial arts
phantom pope (sk8L8)
Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan
both can kick anyones ass
who will win between?
next topic: MTV's The Real World...
Music is it The..
Real World, shakes your body down.
I ain't got no Soul!
next topic....................sad bastards!
I must have been drunk!
Sad Bastards don't do Haiku.
But what do I know!
next topic...........nighttime.
darkness falls slowly
can of spraypaint in my hand
vandalism time!
and the next topic is: modern art
Tate Modern shows
Art that is not "art", and yet..
They call it "modern"?
next topic............foggy mornings
Morning fog holds me...
Dreaming I pick up my sword...
And Kill the Memeplex.
Next Topic...... Cafes
~Poetic Trollax~
French Society
Revolves around the cafes.
But not "cinq-a-sept".
next topic..........relaxation.
Relax don't do it
When you want to go to it
Relax don't do it
srry couldnt resist that one... next topic
money
Money is not bad
Evil loves it as do I
Soul is Money Too...
Next Topic........Painting.
~Capital Trollax~
Mix a bunch of dye
give yourself paint enema
fart on some canvas
next: Scan me!
Xerox copier,
Uses light to scan your bits!
But not on paper.
next topic...............stones
Water Runs Along
As they tumble down the stream
Rocks are shaped by time.......
Next Topic...............Music
Be the food of love.
Play that Symphony for me.
Music, be my life!
Next topic..............death.
of oblivion
there is nothing to be said
it doesnt have words
next topic: Cherry Blossoms
The Bee emerging
From within cherry blossoms
Leaves reluctantly!
*Sorry Basho.....*
next topic..................kick my ass!
I deserve beating...
I call you an Enemy...
I will be beaten...
Next Topic Fnord...
~Neopoetimysical Trollax~
Is the parrot dead?
No sir, it just acts that way
Pining for the Fnords
Next topic - 4:20
last basketball ends up 4:20
at 4:20am most people dream
at least 4:20 isn't balanced well
next topic ... F1
phantom pope (hEATbEAT)
here comes a double...
Function Button One
used in various programs
never REALLY used
Function Button One
can name a million uses
still collects much dust
next topic.... vodka
Nooo, Nasdroviye!
Tovarishi, myi pyom....
Stolicheniya!!!!!
Ok, that's a bit of Anglo/Ruskki
Cheers for the slammers!
All my friends and I, we drink.....
A top class votka!
next topic........just why do dog owners allow their dogs to poooo outside your house, but take great offence if you tell them to pick up the pooooo!
they dislike dog-crap
so in effect, we can say
they poo-poo poo-poo
next topic: The Satellite of Love
Revolving around
Lustfull heavenly bodies
I'm truly in Love!
next topic.....................All those chores you do on a Friday! :roll:
sublime porcelaine
embraces my tender part
my back erect...ploop ploopity ploop.
St Hugh........plase post a "next topic"..........or.........two more strikes and we de-sanctify your good self!!! :shock:
next topic...where to hide the bodies.
(sorry about that. brain cells on strike.)
First dismemberment.
Remember to drain the blood,
pepper spray the bags.
Next Topic: Knifin around
slice, spit...slice spit
sounds of fiery spittle
I now wash this shiny utensil.
neaxt topic...."kaboom" went the car
Car boom we go boom,
Vroom, Vroom, The world is on Shrooms.
And I'm on Fire.................
............................................
........................................
.........................................................
Next Topic: Ten-Pin Bowling
ok for my triumphant entry to this board:
(hi everyone)
lonely with only
9 pin heads for company
when's it time to split
next topic: hairballs
My three cats eat grass,
To rid themselves of hairball.
Don't tread in their puke!
next topic...................verdant pastures.
puke on the verdant pastures
puke on the carpet
cats learn to fly
next topic: rabbit sex
fell down into pie
it was not my favorite
Hair Pie does not trip
what is the next topic?
pelicans
pelicans in my soup
pelicans in my hair
waiter, what the fuck's going on here?
next topic: electrical animals
5 sylls
7 sylls
5 sylls
keep to the rules and the game is more entertaining
Boys...Boys...Boys....!!!!
Haiku is a non-contact sport!!!!!
next topic..electric animals?????
That eel is friendly.
Bolts from the blue are shocking.
Are "Friends" electric?
(Think that one through)
next topic............Solar Flares
A star in distress,
radio interference,
better luck next time :(
Next topic: the spleen!
Some have only one,
And sometimes they make explode,
And mine talks to me.
Next topic: Dystopia
Dystopic pancake
Myopic Enchilada
Paradise is lost
Next topic..........Fish
~Hai-kuckoo Trollax~
give illness fish do
alergic to fish I am
like yoda I talk
next topic.... picking up your drunk ass friends at 2 in the morning way downtown!!!.... or..... just... being drunk....
Staggering Homewards
Into the drunken Time-Warp
With Roadrunner speed.
next topic: badgers
Badgers Badgers Badgers oi!
Badgers Badgers IN my pants
GET THEM OFF OF ME!
next topic?
FUNDIES
Come let us save you...
From your secret destiny...
Sell bibles instead
Next topic..........sugary...lollelry...sweet...sweetness............
~MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmm Trollax~
That Sacharin Babe,
Butter would not melt in her.....
Mouth, that is sweetness!
next topic..........horse-riding.
woman gets on it
bigger than a mans can be
yo tiajuana!
next topic tech support
This job does pay well
... corporate computer slave
cant wait until five.
next topic:
creepy
creepy dude across the bar
stop staring at me like that
a bottle flies out of my hand....thuunk!
next topic: bar fight
St Hugh........that's your second strike!!!!!
Please remember to use all the fingers and thumb on your left hand to count the syllables on lines 1 and 3, and for the middle line....all the fingers and thumb on your right hand plus two digits from your left.......Okay?????!!!!!
Look at those cave-men
Go, it's the freakiest show.
Is there life on Mars?
next topic....................traffic cones.
Walking back from pub
Roadworks become my playground
Policeman objects
Next topic: unfiltered cigarettes
Smoking Al Capones.
I'm going to die today.
Or maybe next week.
next topic: Al Capone
sent killer flowers
mobsters disguised as coppers
you went mad when caught
next topic fish
motherfnording fish
stole all my pipe tobacco
now it's war on fish
next topic: tobacco fish
Addictive fishes
Fugitives beneath the sea
Waiting to be caught...........
Next topic NASA
goddamn astronauts
stole all my pipe tobacco
shuttle goes "boom!"...ha!
next topic: charred mammals
Sizzle Sizzle burn!
Meat is murder how dare you!
Bang! meat is justice....................
Next topic........................Emoticons
:idea: :? :shock: :roll: 8)
:) :D :o :( :oops: :P 8)
:x :evil: :twisted: :wink: :roll:
next topic: intestinal flora
blossom little things!
tickling, prickling, do they bloom!
flush them out with gin.
next topic: toilet floral arrangements
Roses in a can
Antiseptic Violets
Are farts that scary?
..................................................
Next topic Beatniks
~Hai-yah! Trollax~
reciting bad poems
i think i need some more beer
it's Kerouac's fault
next topic: open mic shows
Ametures improvise
yet nobody is laughing
why not It's still good?
...............................................
Next topic.................................
Fire..........................................
Open the fire hole
my steak will taste good in the
Church of Charred Wisdom
next topic: mystic tequila
Drink unlike the rest
So abundant in worm life
I can see through time.......
..................
..................
Next topic Time loops.............
Hi-yayayahahaha Trollax~
Time does not exist.
Moments pass into moments.
Time does not exist.
next topic...............colleagues you hate! :x
Must you work so close?
Competent and obnoxious.
So good but hated.....................
Next topic......... Visions
~Hiya Trollax!~
Sprinting down the track
Consciousness fades...A vision...
Of Escaflowne?
Next topic: giant robots
B0b0 the R0b0:
the ¬?ber aphrodisiac
for anime geeks!
Next topic: I plead guilty as charged.
You may pronounce me
"Guilty" Thousand times over....
Eternal Goddess.
next topic............Court of History! :shock:
That Eternal Court.
Gave Hitler his just deserves.
I shall leave no mark!
next topic..............what the f*ck are we all doing here!
The deadly question
Nihilism lurks nearby
Ignore it and breed
Next tizz-opic: The energy/matter duality
Both same and not same.
Uncertainty Principle.
Till you take a look!
next topic.................sleeping dogs (or dead/not dead cats if you prefer.)
Schrodinger the nut
Boned the wrong girl one weekend
And found the answer
..............................
Next topic The Academic Institution.
Oxbridge, Ivy League.
Both should be Institutions,
Not for intellects!
next topic................Spanish Fly.
Cockroach cannot walk
It has no Marijuana
Should use Spanish Fly.
Next Topic: Anti-trust Law
What the f*ck is that?
You don't trust the in-laws then?
Never mind Aunty!
next topic...................why ironing is for rainy days.
Pitter Patter drip.
I shall work on my loin-cloth
Wrinkles shall be gone
...................................................
:lol:
...................................................
Next topic....
The weather...
Misty morning Sun
Breaks through layer of cloud cover.
Change with the seasons!
next topic...................Live Psychics!
You... Will... end... up... weal.........
thy..... this... call... has... cost... you... Sev......
venty.... bucks..... good... bye...
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
~Frag...mentaled Trollax~
*Trollax.........."next topic"??* :shock:
uhhhm..... ME!
HEHEHEHEHE.......
He is overlooked
and underestimated
That's their last mistake...
NExt topic..........
leftist politics
Toying with the "spin"
Those Socialist Politics.
Left, Right, and Centre.
next topic.......................Sea Monsters.
Pyramid and eye
Captain Nemo's Nemesis
All were fictional
...................................
NEXT TOPIC.................
...................................
Pirated CD's and computer games.....
next topic................
Quote from: St. Trollax
...................................
NEXT TOPIC.................
...................................
Pirated CD's and computer games.....
:!: :!: :!: :!: :!:
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Those dodgy copies
Don't play on my old Walkman.
B & O plays well!
next topic................Friday Clean-Up Days.
you act like you try
perhaps you need to wake up
this is not a joke
Quote from: Anonymousyou act like you try
perhaps you need to wake up
this is not a joke
This is not a try
Perhaps I need to wake joke!
You act like you up!
next topic........................supportive and constructive comments! :lol:
See you missed a spot.
Don't forget wax on wax off
You are improving.
..................................................
Next topic....................................
..................................................
Why I don't need a toupe
~Constructional Trollax~
Paint the fence, up,down!
Use fine brushes of horsehair.
Trollax the hirsute!
next topic...............the solstice is coming, the solstice is coming. :lol:
A solstice, you say?
Circle of life, or does it
Just bounce back and forth?
Next topic: houseplants!
Konichiwa Nutri-sama!! :D
White Orchid, green leaves.
My tokanoma ablaze.
Golden Buddha smiles.
next topic.................A maze of mirrors.
Here I was am I
Reflected back and forward
Shadow or shining
..................................
NExt Topic...................
..................................
The Excorcist
~HI YAYAYAYAYAYA Trollax~
I never saw "The Exorcist," a fact my dad won't leave me alone about, but I have to keep the thread going so here goes nothing, based on what little I have seen of it-
Some sorta thriller
It has ghosts and little kids
With bladder problems
Next topic:
Your choice. If you've seen The Exorcist, you can write better haiku about that than little ol' sheltered me, or my topic: Trix (the cereal)
I love linda blair
She put her hand up my shirt,
to autograph it.
(true story, and the funny thing is, I had a bullwhip sticking out of my jeans... I had been concealing it in my crotch that night... she didnt seem to mind.)
Next Topic:
Trix (the cereal)
No Vonnegut?
He might suggest it:
Thrust at a mobile pastry,
Again at Luna.
Going with Vonnegut.
Scary guy, ya know,
Wrote books, haven't read any
Though I've dreamt of him. o.O
Next topic: Romantic poetry (romantic as in Keats, not as in Hallmark)
Sadly, Websters refuses to polysyllabize 'again.'
Thus I revise with:
He might suggest it:
Thrust at a mobile pastry,
Repeat at Luna.
And repent with:
Daphnias and chipmunks,
Have come out of joint in time.
What an odd karass.
A slip of the mind
May render a haiku moot.
Careful, grasshopper!
I laugh, defeated -
Art is dead, sadly enough,
Dada over all.
Don't forget, guestie, the 'Next topic'.
I proclaim the next topic to be.. Thud?¥
(((I couldn't be arsed logging in!)))
Get yer Mao buttons!
Mao buttons to give the poor
The day so cometh
.................................................
NEXT TOPIC...............................
.................................................
The top ten reasons Why G W. Bush is a plonker.
~Poelectrasy Trollax~
(((And Khagahn isn't here to see that one :( )))
Landing planes on ships
No entrepreneurs in France
Cheerleading frat boy
I know, I know, it's no great shakes; don't expect anything by me to be so. Next topic: Finland :)
In Finland, if asked
'Puhutko suomea?'
Reply 'En puhu!'
PS: Unless, of course, you do (o:
Er.. next topic! Jazz.
*thinks........isn't that...
"Have you sh*gged a Finish Babe?"
"Nope......But bonked a reindeer!".
Jazz............
Goceck, Turkish coast
There is a Doctor Jazz Bar.
Best "medicine" there is!
next topic.....................inventions that suck!
Those scented crayons
My sister loves to eat them...
Crayola cuisine!
N,Ä?chstes Thema: Eating Froot Loops with chopsticks (my cousin actually does this)
How many fruitloops
will fit on my new chopsticks?
BANG! goes my blown mind.
proxima topic: Magickal tequila
that magic potion
bestows great enlightenment
the worm is my friend
Next: Canadian bacon.
Quien soy aqui?
Running from filthy bacon.
Fuera de alla....
next topic: cabalistic caballeros
Cabal in packs
Death to the infidel scum
We are one with all...
Next topic....................................
The reasons why a cold dead fish is better to have during a crisis than a machine pistol........................
~Trollax is writing
his traditional signoff
But they're getting weird~
Stiff Coeleocanth,
Uzi Nine Millemetre.......
Hide behind the first!
Next topic..............sychophantic inept line managers.
They nose my browns
I'd prefer that they didn't
Now it's all broken
............................................
Next Topic.............................
............................................
Closet Racism
~Hi Trollax~
Hidden Hitlerites
Sniping at us from afar
Burn down their closet!
next topic: sadistic fluff-bunniesque christianized cannibals
A Christianized cannibal, Ted
Had horrible thoughts in his head
Sadistic things that he'd say
In his fluff-bunniesque way
Made me worship Discordia instead.
Next topic: The contents of the 12 missing frames from the Zapruder film
Quote from: RiffA Christianized cannibal, Ted
Had horrible thoughts in his head
Sadistic things that he'd say
In his fluff-bunniesque way
Made me worship Discordia instead.
Next topic: The contents of the 12 missing frames from the Zapruder film
Nice !
The Zapruder film
Had twelve missing frames from it.
What were the contents!
next topic................innumerate illiterates. :shock:
too pluhss too yz fayve
pai iz fud, nogt uh numbur
math geekz, dey iz weerd
Next topic: How Strong Bad can type so fast with boxing gloves :?: (http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html)
Medeo..........that was funny!
Bad went on a course,
And got a certificate!
"Fast type with gloves on"............
next topic........incredibly complicated superstring theories solved!
Why make such a fuss?
Just buy some at the toy store!
"Party in a can!"
(http://www.goodmarkgroup.com/images/IR_PS101367.gif)
Next episode: vegan ninjas
What a weird concept
Stealth assassins from Japan
But no meat or milk
Damn, that sucked... anyhow
Next topic: The Great Mighty Poo
Solo me quede
here to fight the Mighty Poo?
Where are you, Eris?
Proxima topic: "Eris and the Great Mighty Poo"
Goddess full of sh*t,
Don't crap on your board members.
We worship your "wit".
next topic..............Riff :lol:
Pre-emptive haiku
I write so that no one speaks
My darkest secrets.
Next: Emoticons
Quote from: Lister:idea: :? :shock: :roll: 8)
:) :D :o :( :oops: :P 8)
:x :evil: :twisted: :wink: :roll:
next topic: intestinal flora
It too has been done
That which has gone before us
Shall be repeated............
:mrgreen: :| :P 8) 8)
:twisted: :twisted: :x :P :oops: :? :shock:
:| :roll: :o :lol: :cry:
~Emotive Trollax~
Next topic...........
Rotting smelly feet.....................
Mold 'n' mud 'n' shit
Goin' to job interview,
My foots look snazzy!
Next topik: The democracy cakewalk in Tienenman Square
Thousands in the square
Walking over fluffy cakes
Not dodging bullets
proxima topic: The democracy claptrap in Fernando Poo.
Fisson Chips scouted
World teetered on destruction
'Cuz of an island
next topic... the laundromat
I have never been
But you lose more socks that way
I do mine at home
NEXT TOPIC.............................
The most valuable thing............
...............................................
(((For all those of you who've read the log by craig charles))) :twisted:
Keep breathing for now
Stay alive just one more day
See Sunrise again
next: Klingon Culture - what's up with that?
help files: http://home.tampabay.rr.com/ngabwi
Bonus points if you write it in Klingon!
This is a "tribute" to a now former boss of mine, the least competent individual ever to walk...
{ 'armanDo vImuS
qabDaj 'angQo'law' *loDHom*
vI'oy'moH vIneH }
"I hate Armando
'Little Man' won't show his face
I want to hurt him"
There, 5-7-5 in both English and Klingon.
Next topic: Tapeworms and their uses in paleontology...
Pre-Cambrian Age
Little slugs fossilising.
Evolved into Man.
next topic...............Hot Summer weather 8)
Boiling Blistering
Excruciating Sauna
Sun and Rain Combined
next topic: eBay
Auctioned some stuff there!
Never got my money back!
Embezzling E-Bay........................ :lol:
next topic.............Art for Art's sake.
i made this piece from
metal tubing, cloth, and hair.
so then - where's my grant?
next: regional dialects
A Haiku Ode to Melbourne:
Who's the wombat now?
I'm always fully sic bros
Yeah, 'Course I poked her...
.....................................
NEXT TOPIC...................
.....................................
The hidden dangers of the home...
~Scouserial Trollax~
Come in my parlour,
Said the spider to the fly!
Turn the power off!
next topic...................pseudonyms!
Riff, The Commander,
Slartibartfast, St. Trollax,
Medeo, Zenji.
Next: The best kind of cancer.
In honor of tomorrow's roast on Comedy Central:
Leary's gonna get
lots of lung cancer; maybe
that'll shut him up!
Sekvanta Temo: Dance Dance Revolution
(tomorrow? I thought it was on Sunday?)
Quote from: Riff(tomorrow? I thought it was on Sunday?)
Yeah, you're right... I was thinking of something else
Whaaaaaaa??? It is sunday. after the ref or some other movie with kvin spacy.
Bouncing on Light Pads
No real objective at all
Why not play Pac-Man?
Next Topic: Disney
I'm ignoring the topic,
Indeed, all Haiku rules.
To write this non-haiku.
Whats the topic?
---->The topic is
not even empty space
the nothingness of a cupped hand
then all things arose
Next topic: Why people break the rules! :lol:
People break the rules
'Cuz of [long philisophical tangent]
and that's why this isn't even close to a hiaku
Next Topic: A Non-Existant Color
Just to freak out kids
Mela put on plaid panties
(Ask Piers Anthony)
Next topic: Use any reference to an obsure novel
I'll use two of my favorite obscure sci-fi novels:
Festina Ramos
Sent to scary planet with
NAKED GLASS WOMEN!!!!
Shoogar and Purple
Dueling, yelling, and building
A flying machine
Next topic: Cherokee Casinos = Cash Crops....?
White men stole their land
Now they get to ignore our laws
Get over yourselves
next topic: Nevada
When in Nevada,
Stop in Reno; famous for
Its great police force!
Next Topic: Fooly Cooly!
Fooly is cooly
cooly is fooly
i like my non-haiku
next topic: satan and god as roommates in nevada during a flood.
Mephistopheles
and Yahweh together in
flooding Nevad'
Next topic: The Neo-Freudian implications of bubbles, and why nobody cares.
I'm not quite sure what
"Neo-Freudian" means, but
still, bubbles are cool.
Next topic: Coach Calhoun from "Grease"
Coach Calhoun from Greece.
Never heard of him by name.
Thought he was Spiros.
next topic....................dead modems!
Not working any more
Struck down in height of power
A flash of lightning.
Next topic: South Park
Kenny hides in shrooms
Unseen, Chef serves up a dish
Cream of Kenny soup
OOOOPS...
next topic: snails
Slow and mobile, on
back, carrying abode. be
careful! I got salt!
next topic: headaches caused by crashing computers
My head hurts badly!
As Apple Mac takes a dive.
Crashes on to floor!
next topic.....................hot and humid.......the weather silly!
Rum, heat wave, pipe stem,
Unfortunate blend, I stand
In liquified friend
Next topic: Androgeny
Boys and girls the same.
That sounds rather disturbing!
Androids rule the world!
next topic....................portable loos
Burning plastic smell
Chemical toilet's on fire
This always happens
........................................
NEXT TOPIC......................
........................................
The art medium of graffitti Vs Graffitti itself
Here's an idea:
Mandatory spelling tests
When selling spray cans
Then no more of this:
Wazzup beeyahch, fokc ju gaiz
Fukd-up Jo waz heer
Next topic: If one haiku makes a dull roar, can two haikus do the Funky Chicken? (And for that matter, what is the plural of 'haiku'?)
Quote from: MedeoHere's an idea:
Mandatory spelling tests
When selling spray cans
Then no more of this:
Wazzup beeyahch, fokc ju gaiz
Fukd-up Jo waz heer
Next topic: If one haiku makes a dull roar, can two haikus do the Funky Chicken? (And for that matter, what is the plural of 'haiku'?)
I dunno... my tag is a deliberate mispelling that has rampant philosophical implications... Zenji... You'll love this...
Taot...
Anyway.....................................................
The sound of Haikus
Belching in the streets at noon
Brings meaning to me
Next Topic.............................
The Reasons why...................
............................................
If you want to know,
Stop wanting and know no want.
Would you like some tea?
Next topic: Non-suggestive interpretations of the phrase "Hot Nun-Butter" :shock:
Interpret cleanly?
Such a thing doesn't exist
Wow, Hot Nun-Butter
next topic: Sunset on Mars
Red-tinged horizon
Yellow star dropping below.
Dims the God of War.
next topic..........................irate service operatives.
Irate disservice
inoperative, has gun
In sticky bun, run!
Nothing can come of
No-thing: emptiness that is
From where do I come?
..........................................
NEXT TOPIC........................
..........................................
Why it's so important to have a next topic
~Hai Trollax~
Without next topics
Life becomes like a rock thrown
into the void called beer
Next topic: Taco Fundamentalism
Taco is not pure
Ugly lettuce go away
Now just meat and cheese
Next Topic: Uses for 5000 empty toilet paper rolls.
home-made hand grenade
Was always my favourite
The pins were hard though...
........................................
NEXT TOPIC......................
........................................
New computer viruses made by holier-than-thou pretentious hacker motherf***ers
holier than thou
yet ye still hacks computers
from thine mother's house
WOW its been a while since i wrote a hauku...
next topic: spoons
When cutting hearts out
And just to make it hurt more
Always use dull spoons
Next topic: Brain eating Zombies
learn more (http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?SMFabal)
massclickgameslikethatsuck
justlikeoutwarandthatotherstupidonethatiforgetitsname
fnord
someone else can write a zombie one, since mine wasn't a REAL High-Koo!!
'Next topic' escapes
Me, my grape-jelly-goo-brain
Tastes great with french toast
Brain-eating-zombies
Laugh because brain-in-a-jar
Can't run very far
Next topic: Fungus
(*Your haiku was lovely Slartibartfast*)
Patterns of Color
And echoing trails of thought
My favorite Mushroom
Next Topic: The Beautiful Women of the principiadiscordia.com Forums :mrgreen:
Velvet Jee, DD,
Tyalie and EVT.
Did I miss someone?
NEXT TOPIC...........................
Why can't I think of anything for a next topic?
................................................................
~Haikuoverheals Trollax~
Too many doom posts
Thinking about yummy food
Trollax lost his brain.
Next topic: Squid, the other white mammal.
Seaborne tentacles
Outflung catching humanoids
Ryleh's sons laughing.
Next topic: Forgetfulness
I Recall Nothing
But I am reminded by
Yellow Sticky Notes
Next: Stealing office supplies
It's one of the perks
Pilfered stuff from the office
But it's not useful
...................................................
NEXT TOPIC.................................
...................................................
Why isn't the matrix franchised to all buggery with t-shirts, coffee-cups, action figures, model kits etc.?
the brothers wachowski
are discordians
and they're not coporate jerks who want a lot of money by selling crap.
(the matrix is telling you that that's not a real haiku. it is.)
Next topic: Coporate jerks who want a lot of money by selling crap
Hmm... Stephen Spielberg
Tommy Hillfinger (asshole)
.... Oh yea, and Bill Gates
Next Topic: vasectomy
Cut those bollock pipes!
It makes a vast difference.
Vas deferens does!
next topic..................massages :wink:
Fucking Shit Woman!
They havn't even healed yet
Be careful with those.
Next Topic: People who post too much and the old-timers that tolerate them.
Post count climbing high
All thoughts resound with hot air.
Newbs unforgiven.
Next topic: the 70s.
When I was younger,
And in the prime of my life,
Long off 70's!
next topic.....................Newbies who post far too much so us old fogies get to feel ineptly exhausted!
Always rushing posts.
Have to keep ahead of them
Damn those newbie scum!
..........................................
NEXT TOPIC........................
..........................................
The guy at the top who is responsible for the post-counting hysteria but doesn't really care that much as he only wanted to inform, not start a competition...
~Hai Trollax~
King of the Castle.
In Principle gets knocked off!
Depends on last post!
next topic......................the next topic. :roll:
what should it be, bob?
a naked green fish, perhaps?
i followed the rules!
next topic- how i finally wrote a real haiku ( i think) and there should be rejoicing.
Count, Slartibartfast!
Keep in line... keep in line... yes!
Finally success!!!!!!
Next topic: the overuse of exclamation marks.
!!!!! !!! !!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!
!!! !!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! ! !!!!!!!! !! !!!!!
!!!! !!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!
Next topic: Don't feed the Trolls!
I hear trit trot trit.
Hungrily I leap. What's this?
A goat simulator.
Next topic: What is the sound of one goat tritting?
imbibe foul swill old
goat, suck-Up rank brew, tritt on
edge of cliff.......Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaooooow YAaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!
next topic: weird lunch
Quote from: PrinceHer favorite number was 20 and every single day
If U asked her what she had 4 breakfast
This is what she'd say
Starfish and coffee
Maple syrup and jam
Butterscotch clouds, a tangerine
And a side order of ham
If U set your mind free, baby
Maybe you'd understand
Starfish and coffee
Maple syrup and jam
Alright so it's not a haiku, and it's breakfast not lunch but still...
Next topic: Aren't starfish poisonous?
no, not if you have
large quantities of anti
venom and tofu
next topic: the secret life of plants
Oooh baby, green leaves
So moist on my cellulose
Shhh! The human's here!
Next topic: Biosecurity.
Germs are everywhere
I must be like howard hughes
Hand me the Kleenex
Next topic..................
................................
Law and evading it...
Some things are naughty,
but everything is legal
if you don't get caught.
Next: The things you love to hate
chaunce, perverse maggott
you tried to steal her love, aaargh
impish redhead dwarf
Next Topic: Bikini bottom
Where SpongBob lives or
what I stare at on the beach?
You can be the judge!
Next: Manned space flight
Dogs, chimpanzees, but...
Can it be done? Truly done?
One day pigs may fly.
Next topic: a salute to the late, great Jim Henson.
He made Labyrith,
Kermit, and The Dark Crystal
The greatest ever
Next: St Gulik
smack! puddle of puss
eewwww, damn, dead roaches cant talk..
goddess's message lost :cry:
next subject: soy protein
Improperly made
Can give cancer in large dose
Beware! Beware soy!
NEXT TOPIC
Feudalism
Fuedal Lord Thane, crude
Serf at fieff villeinage schemes
Rude slay killenage.
next topic: Bird Poo
There's crap on my head
Magpies may be my totem
But this pushes it!
NEXT TOPIC....................................
phantom sensations like people prodding you with their fingers or stuff like that. have you every had that? I'm having that right now, it feels like someone is pushing their finger into my back and won't stop.
prodding sensations
my telepathy, Trollax
poke,can you feel? mwah :twisted:
next topic: edible undies
Peasant! You go farm!
I protect you from all harm!
And seduce your wife!
Next topic: Hey hey we're the Monkees
Ok now I am just parinoid!
hey hey we're humans
Apes with serious issues
And bad fashion sense
NEXT TOPIC..............
................................
Who put the bop in the bop in the bop shoo-op shoo-op?
shoo-op bop shoo-op
peppermint twist undies and
tutti frutti socks
Next topic:
....Jamma Wamma Bamma Hop Samma Lamma ... Orange banana jam wham slam flam bing bham boom ...
*Boom!* *boop!* *bop!* *bip!* *bam!*
Onomatopea *Bang!*
*biff!* *paff!* *Smack!* *Doof!* *Spong!*
Quote from: St. Trollax*Boom!* *boop!* *bop!* *bip!* *bam!*
Onomatopea *Bang!*
*biff!* *paff!* *Smack!* *Doof!* *Spong!*
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
NEXT TOPIC.................................
Time loops
Why'd Trollax do this?
start the un-escapable
new time warp time warp
(yes...I suck at Haiku I know)
Next: floundering follies of the freshly fermented Fearless Freep
Freeps can't take a joke
and God won't turn back time, or
teach hamsters to swim.
Next topic: a rare genetic disorder "neoplasticranialbotanosis", literaly meaning, "cabbage head".
ne-o-plas-ti-cra...
Ah fuck it, give me a beer.
what's with these word games?
Next topic: Necropyrobeastiality and your dog spot.
damn! spot hit the spot
no barking or woofs, what the?
creamation is key
next topic: mullets
No Mullets!
Next Topic: How boring computer class is
Boring this class is.
I do not like it at all.
Teacher can shove it.
Next Topic: three word story
There are but three words
To box yourself up inside
Safe and terrified
NEXT TOPIC
Where's Zenji?
Wise Zenji will gaze
with elation, will greet self,
smile, in his mirror
Next topic:
Glowing red eyes
Are red eyes evil?
What about all those truckers?
Glowing is retro
.............................................
NEXT TOPIC...........................
.............................................
Moonshining
blindness, death
thoughts,is it made right?
moonshine delight yum
next topic: canada
Blame Canada-ah
Blame Canada-ah-ah-ah
Blame Canada-ah
next topic: Kapohkitwhoho's
Kapohkitwhoho's
Vampish petticoats appear
Above the storm drain
next topic: ShiKai brand hand and body lotion
It's slippery stuff
What does it have to do with
the solstice again?
........................................
Next Topic.........................
........................................
the sound of one eye opening...
RANDOMLY INSPIRED TROLLAXIAN HAIKU
T'was mercy she said
Not justice that cries the most
But when is mu, mu?
it's a sort of 'click',
but one thing's puzzling me --
does it blink, or wink?
Next: aerosol cheez
aerosol cheez speaks
a frightening strange language
Physsssss sptptptt shonnnk
next topic:
tails
Tails has ginger hair
He also possessed two tails
And mates with Sonic
Now we write about Zarathud
Zarathud the stoned
did not know Zarathustra
But he loved his pot
.........................................
NEXT TOPIC.......................
.........................................
The rise in crime correlated with the drop in the popularity of spirograph.
RANDOM TROLLAXIAN HAIKU
Rolled into a ball
Unable to be undone
Essence kept always
Saintly Spirograph
Save us from a life of crime
because your frabjous
Next on the process of runcibility
irruncible spoon
runciate at one's peril
hence the severed head
Next topic:
the door is a jar
the door is ajar
stupid light, why don't you die
the door is ajar
next topic: colon cancer
Hi Colon Cancer
Describable many ways
A Pain in the Ass
Next, the table is not a real table it's an upturned box with a cloth on it
Improvised table
Impoveristed student room
cinder block book case
.................................
NEXT TOPIC...............
.................................
Jelly Beans
the advantage is,
unlike other sorts of beans,
you don't fart (as much).
next: The delights of the subway
ewww smelly lady
too much beer, stop the rocking!
stomach knocking, puke!
next topic.....hide and go seek at the graveyard
I might win this game
no safety spring release latch
Inside this old crypt
next topic:
ice-cream truck
The notes bring me pain
suffer eternal torment
Turkey in the Straw
Next topic: Gundam Fighters
Effeminate men
Insulting Mecha genre
Putzes in big robots
(no i'm not a big fan of the show.)
Next up: Earthbound
Sticking head out now,
Would cause it to be burned off,
Upon re-entry.
next topic, HP Pavilion Desktop Computers
What have they done now?
Gimme lots of hard drive space
'Cuz this megabytes.
Next topic: flushing a dead hamster
The rodent expired
Before the loo chain was pulled.
Leaves this world quite flushed.
next topic....................where the hell have you been master?
Quote from: Duchess DemonicaI might win this game
no safety spring release latch
Inside this old crypt
next topic:
ice-cream truck
:lol:
Leaves and zombies fall,
searching in this hell for you.
Where are you master?
next topic: mail order brides
I'm pretty stupid.
I said, "Sex later, but first
Popping bubble wrap!"
Next Topic: The Matrix Revolutions
You missed the meaning
You say that it is shithouse
Just like george lucas
The darkest darkness
Cannot hope to hold me back
The hellion flies
The void is within
High and low I ride the night
There is no level
I seek and I hunt
The real world hides no evil
and no good either
The goddess giggles
Deluded that we are free
We paint our own cells
....................................
NEXT TOPIC..................
....................................
A decent Haiku
A good haiku on anything at all...
shape shifting demon
do you think you know me friend?
Wait until its dark
:twisted: :twisted:
Quote from: St. Trollax, ODDYou missed the meaning
You say that it is shithouse
Just like george lucas
The darkest darkness
Cannot hope to hold me back
The hellion flies
The void is within
High and low I ride the night
There is no level
I seek and I hunt
The real world hides no evil
and no good either
The goddess giggles
Deluded that we are free
We paint our own cells
....................................
NEXT TOPIC..................
....................................
A decent Haiku
A good haiku on anything at all...
WOW!
That's really really good haiku!
:)
Quote from: Malaul The Caffeinatrixxshape shifting demon
do you think you know me friend?
Wait until its dark
Come to me and wait
I will play your childish game
Then we shal battle
I wait at your feet
anticipating your touch
time passes too slow
This is the moment
Masks shall fall away from us
In dharma we duel
we sit in shadows
waiting for the truth to fall
from heaven like tears
the masks fall away
innocence is now laid bare
waiting for contact
No sword has been used
No archers have losed their flight
Yet we stand here dead
Together we move
No motion disturbs our rest
Even as we breathe
dead but still breathing
no souls have been lost tonight
free of shells, we fly
lost to inner thoughts
we are alone in this flight
heaven and hell met
My name lies at rest
My hand, The hand of no-thing
Yet I still move it
Birds swim and fish fly
The lowest awakens her
The master knows not
broken words and thoughts
disjointed verbal warfare
neither one will win
today is a dream
tomorrow is just a wish
yesterday is gone
Next topic
coffee
(go figure)
paper-cup goddess
help me open tired eyes
and dance until dawn
next topic: photoshop
Photoshop is cool!
What does this button here do?
Oops! File deleted.
Next topic: drawing
Drawing down the moon
and coloring it in with
crayons and magic.
next topic: hot chocolate
Fetching milk and cocoa box,
warm wind blows in through window
past boiling kettle.
next: Fake Santas
Seasonal spirit?
Hell! Comercialization
is a fake Santa.
Next: Anime Heros
set us up the bombs
your base are belong to us
Make your time. The End.
(does that count as Anime?)
next topic
Spaghetti
Inside, the aircon
chills my feet. I pad to the
fridge for the pasta.
next: missing someone, although they're with you.
I shot too damn high!
Goddammit all to fucking hell
Always too damn high!
next: redneck weddings
i really fucking hate rent
you know we can lynch the landlord
you know we can man
next:this elephant in my pajamas
well i made that one on account of the now dissapeared post that was here just moments ago, with the next oen being rent...
Elephant tights are
all mixed up in the missing
redneck wedding dress.
Next topic: honeymoon
honey moon in vegas
gonna get soem poon and watch cartoons
this is not a good haiku
next: thigns that burst out of your chest and run around
ALIENS!! oh dear
ruin my shirt and dinner
Chest bursters are great
NEXT
DRUNKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Spend the entire
day staggering: realise
i am still drunk.
next: midnight smoke
smoke a big fat doobie
typing with boxing gloves is fun
nobody can read my great stoner wisdom
next: killer avacoadoes take revenge!!!
argh! help! get away!
i can't stand that shade of green!
guacamole?? noooooooo!
next: tentacle rape
ghastly's ghastly joke
tentacle rape anyone?
POKE POKE SLOBBER POKE
next topic
fnord
if you can't see them,
then the fnords will not eat you.
watch tv, human.
next: (wild card)
Flipping through the air
Trail of tell-tale crumbs, 'Wild Card'
Ate all the pretzels
Next Topic:
You What?
You what? Shame, Bella!
Poor Duchess dropped on precious
little pointed head.
Next topic:
Betty Boop
betty sweet betty
how the girls adore you with
your boop boop be doop
next topic
bodily functions
Natural body
Stink, grime, filth, crap, fuck, piss, snot
Fills the room with love.
Next topic: Barney
love is a dirty trick
where kindness is now poison
and lies are common
next topic:
wolfgang puck
STOP CHANGING THE TOPIC DOXXO
thats three time sIve hadda ro do that!!!!
barney is purple
shoes have more IQ than him
shoot barney, for me
next topic
splinters
Just got a splinter
Crucifixion sized splinter
The size of a tree!
Next topic: Batman
holy cow batman
you look so nice in those tights
even better without
NT -
hello kitty
Who'd win in a fight
Between a bat, a robin,
and Michael Jackson?
Next Topic: I am the monkey. I can go anywhere.
yes i'm a monkey
it's true i take a poo
away from the zoo
next topic
girls named gina
Went to a topless
Bar- Gina was best, for she
Was the only girl!
Next Topic: B. D. Joe from Crazy Taxi
*stop thread*
Finally summer
Flu season at last over
Thanks to benadryl
*Start thread*
Next topic: Autumn/Fall
The rake scrapes the lawn
Pile toss'd about by the wind
I hate the @%$ fall
next topic: hurricanes
Storm Cell is coming
The power of mother earth
Pulled along by nodes
Next topic........................
Oracles and divination
......................................
Tarot cards work best
with tequila or vodka
No? Well, you're still drunk.
Next topic: Haiku
Hey! That's not Haiku!
You're just counting syllables!
Stop that this instant!
Next topic: Kitty Litter
Kitty litter is
Tasty when topping ice cream
Crunchy and low fat
Next Topic: Purity Guaranteed
fields of blood and pain
covered by falling white snow
it's guaranteed pure
Next Topic: Stupid Management
My boss is an ass
And he just cut our budget
I can't work like this
..............................................
NEXT TOPIC............................
..............................................
An Iron cow
Iron cows go 'moo'
in metallic doom voices.
They're eating cowboys.
Next topic: Hair Cheese
Hair Cheese is furry
it melts poorly on toasties
and sticks between teeth
Next topic:
Wet bamboo
Bamboo chopsticks fall
from my hands into the soup.
Sake overdose.
Next topic: eyes
N.B. Is it possible to change my rank from Legionnaire Disciple to something more adequate to my status in this religion?
Quote from: Abou-JesusBamboo chopsticks fall
from my hands into the soup.
Sake overdose.
Next topic: eyes
N.B. Is it possible to change my rank from Legionnaire Disciple to something more adequate to my status in this religion?
keep posting more, you can raise rank that way, or you can beg to the MGT
Quote from: Malaul The CaffeinatrixXxQuote from: Abou-JesusBamboo chopsticks fall
from my hands into the soup.
Sake overdose.
Next topic: eyes
N.B. Is it possible to change my rank from Legionnaire Disciple to something more adequate to my status in this religion?
keep posting more, you can raise rank that way, or you can beg to the MGT
Yeah, begging is how Malaul and I got our titles changes.
It works great. :twisted:
oh, what will you do?
bella and I, we begged
begging is the path
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomYeah, begging is how Malaul and I got our titles changes. It works great. :twisted:
My begging fell on deaf ears.
Quote from: Guido FinucciQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomYeah, begging is how Malaul and I got our titles changes. It works great. :twisted:
My begging fell on deaf ears.
:( :( :(
Quote from: Malaul The CaffeinatrixXxoh, what will you do?
bella and I, we begged
begging is the path
What's the username
of the guy before whom I
should crawl, whine and meow?
Quote from: Abou-JesusQuote from: Malaul The CaffeinatrixXxoh, what will you do?
bella and I, we begged
begging is the path
What's the username
of the guy before whom I
should crawl, whine and meow?
It's a girl before whom you should crawl, whine and meow. :twisted:
Go to the member list and send an email to the management - username "The Mgt".
Quote from: Abou-JesusQuote from: Malaul The CaffeinatrixXxoh, what will you do?
bella and I, we begged
begging is the path
What's the username
of the guy before whom I
should crawl, whine and meow?
the MGT, and its a she I do believe!
nice icon
its purrrrrrrrrrfect
Quote from: Guido FinucciQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomYeah, begging is how Malaul and I got our titles changes. It works great. :twisted:
My begging fell on deaf ears.
try again?
And now returning us to our regular programming: Eyes
raindrops on the pond
like a thousand sparkling eyes
always opening
Next topic: Smoke
Edit: 'pond' is a much better word than 'lake'.
cough, hack, choke and die
why do people smoke these things?
death in every breath
next: kitty litter
Kitty litter is
as delicious as you think.
(Not very much so).
Next topic: cat food
MEOW MEOW MEW
gimme gimme I need it
open the damn can!!!
next topic = flea dip
Stop That, It's not fair!
I'd kill you but you feed me
Now I smell Funny
........................................
NEXT TOPIC......................
........................................
The deafening silence of IRC...
idling in channel
even the bots are silent
web killed the chat star
Next topic: The choice between ideals and realities
Conceived with goodness
Idealistic and young
Grow old and bitter
next topic: snapped guitar e string.
Which one of them snapped?
I never use the High E.
I tune two steps down.
Next topic: Stompy!
big, black and buckled
every girl needs 6 inches
stompy platform boots
next = cell phones
dark and boring here
in cell block C, I beg you
please bring T-Mobile
next topic: whistling in the dark
they might be giants
I like their other songs more
they need to make more
next topic = bad phtotshoppery
someone else's face
on someone else's body
it couldn't be me
Next topic: culture clash
Someone hit my face
With someone else's knuckle
Whoa what did I say?
Next Topic: what?
I watch your mouth move
moonlight catches glistening lips
what were you saying?
Next topic: running away
Go ahead and run -
I'll get to you anyway.
You'll only die tired.
next topic: Runaway sex marathons
one thing on your mind
orgies that last a lifetime
if you're a mayfly
Next topic: Hunting singles
Single hunter hides
Armed with camera gear
Shooting single slides
Next Topic: what u seek
u have yet to find
what i hide is what u seek
truth disguised by lies
Next topic: permission
if you have to ask
it is not freely given
politeness be damned
Next topic: I can still smell the lime on my fingers after drinking tequila last night (or am I just imagining it?)
A dead end trader
stretching my low limb
sold me all his guilt
A dead end trader
stretching my low limb
sold me all his guilt
for which i gave him
all my puberal dreams
and drunken schoolnights
Emotionally
prostituted I gave
in and up myself
tearing up pictures
of the happy family
I was waiting for
stitching up my core
for some more fun adventures
in this grey grey world
waking up again
knowing that I'll never get
back what i had sold.
sorry about the missing parts....I should quit drinkin while posting (Je poste donc je suis)
WOW
the boys a poet as well as awsome!!!
No kidding.
Even I am impressed.
Quote from: Malaria test subject #777No kidding.
Even I am impressed.
::dreamy sigh:: Isnt he WONDERUFLL!!
Quote from: Malaul The CaffeinatrixXxQuote from: Malaria test subject #777No kidding.
Even I am impressed.
::dreamy sigh:: Isnt he WONDERUFLL!!
i seem to have made an impression :)
Quote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: Malaul The CaffeinatrixXxQuote from: Malaria test subject #777No kidding.
Even I am impressed.
::dreamy sigh:: Isnt he WONDERUFLL!!
i seem to have made an impression :)
::squishes you up inna bear hug:: MINE
Most Obvious Be
Extreme Zen In Its Absence
Where Be Zenji At?
::nudges lister::we need a new topic for the next post
Quote from: Malaul The CaffeinatrixXxQuote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: Malaul The CaffeinatrixXxQuote from: Malaria test subject #777No kidding.
Even I am impressed.
::dreamy sigh:: Isnt he WONDERUFLL!!
i seem to have made an impression :)
::squishes you up inna bear hug:: MINE
:lol:
Quote from: Malaul The CaffeinatrixXx::nudges lister::we need a new topic for the next post
Chinese Zombie Movies
b r a i n
maybe we can get dim sum
drag your left foot more
next topic
mushy couples from hell (just kidding EVT adn TJ)
*Smooch* *Hug* *g* *g* *g*
*g* :oops: *kisssssssssss* *Hug* *g* *g* *Hug*
*Hug* :oops: *g* *Smoooooch* *kisssssssssss*
Next Topic: Lack Of Munchies
I want my fretos
where did my doretos go?
WHO ATE ALL MY FRIES!!!!
next topic - killing the fry eaters
engineered good taste
the herd cannot resist them
fry eaters die slow
Next topic: Standing on one leg
how do they do that?
four hundred little bivalves
standing on one foot
next topic: calendars
cross out days
till the calender ends
the end of time
next subject is: dirty water
I hate washing things
the water gets so dirty
what a waste if time
next topic = burnt pop corn
being all alone
I wait for the cat come crawl
and purr at my door.
Quote from: Den Sorte Dragenbeing all alone
I wait for the cat come crawl
and purr at my door.
how does that relate to burnt pop corn? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
that was very lovely
QuoteQuote from: Malaul The CaffeinatrixXxQuote from: Den Sorte Dragenbeing all alone
I wait for the cat come crawl
and purr at my door.
how does that relate to burnt pop corn? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
how it relates to cop porn?
Quotethat was very lovely
so r u
You burnt my popcorn!
Bobdamned evil prairie squid!
Now you get eaten!
Next topic: Litter Boxes
ode to litter box
all thigns even recyclables find their way to you
oh beautfiul g-file, in which belongs this 'haiku'
Quote from: horabode to litter box
all thigns even recyclables find their way to you
oh beautfiul g-file, in which belongs this 'haiku'
Next topic?
i have ate the next topic!
fnord fnord fnord fnord fnord
fnord fnord fnord fnord fnord fnord fnord
fnord fnord fnord fnord fnord
next topic
boot licking
You need that polished?
I have a licking device.
Only if there's steel.
Next topic: Eating Cthluhu
I like spaghetti
even when its for breakfast
anyone want some?
next topic = how much starbucks sucks
Quote from: MalaulI like spaghetti
even when its for breakfast
anyone want some?
next topic = how much starbucks sucks
the black hot substance
poured out of the weird machine
the coffeecat looked sad.
Quote from: Den Sorte Dragen
the black hot substance
poured out of the weird machine
the coffeecat looked sad.
Den Sorte Dragen
Forgot to add a topic
Ah well, no biggie
Next topic: haiku
The Devia Discordia (//http://): Five, Seven, Five.
Pope Nag pokes some fun
But then forgets to log in
Quite embarassing
next topic: still haiku
The Devia Discordia (http://devia.23ae.com): Forgets his head next...
nag, those where awsome!!
good job
2 gold stars for you
oldy but a goody:
Haiku's inventor
must have had seven fingers
on his middle hand
Next Topic: new spots
Haiku's inventor
must have been a nice guy that
talks in weird ridles
Quote from: Guido FinucciNext Topic: new spots
Tell me what I want
oh, shiny happy people
in technicolour
Next topic: emoticons :)
It happened again!
Computer ate my account
Darn cookiemonster
Quote from: Pope Nag (really)Next topic: emoticons :)
sugar coated text
body language in ASCII
punctuation lies
Edit: thought of a much better first line.
Next topic: frozen dinners
Quote from: Guido FinucciNext topic: frozen dinners
Flavour lies preserved
Perfection frozen in time
Gone in five minutes
Next one: Your favorite movie
The Devia Discordia (http://devia.23ae.com): 3, 2, 1 ... beep.
Arthur and his knights
Sent by God to seek the Grail
Beware the Rabbit!
Next topic: Che Guevara
Quote from: Medeo FaboverdaNext topic: Che Guevara
Oooh... tricky one. Here goes:
It doesn't take long
'Till something worth fighting for
Is just a logo
Next topic: Happy
True happiness is
To join in playful Chaos:
Life beyond the grid
Next Topic: Miserable
die die die die die
all i see is red and black
kill kill kill kill kill
Quote from: horabdie die die die die
all i see is red and black
kill kill kill kill kill
I am red and black
and Yet I hate Osiris
Thankyou my sister
Next Topic: Eastern Philosophy Vs Western Philosophy.
analytic thought
objective contemplation
never find the Tao
Next topic: The relative importance of doing the right thing and being seen to be doing the right thing.
look at george run
george has his pants on
see george the good boy?
next topic:
being good without morals
Quote from: horabnext topic:
being good without morals
My foot hits your arse
Guided by morals or whim?
It hurts regardless
So I suppose the all easy ones got used up in the first thirty pages, huh?
Riddle me this... Next topic: Plato's Cave
Hammer descending
Silicon fiend must learn to
Save my damn password
So what am I doing wrong here? I clicked the 'log me in automatically' button dutifully...
Nag.
forget the shadows
look towards the light and see
those shadows have faces
Next topic: a pond
See - there are some easy ones left. You might be rejecting the cookie that the site uses to store the login.
one stone in a pond
a bunch of waves
one big stone is a big sploosh!
superman vs margaret thatcher
jumping tall buildings
underwear on the outside
her kryptonite gaze
Next topic: I can smell my lunch cooking.
Bonus points for including a seasonal reference.
hot charcoal brickettes
i can smell my lunch cooking
skewered summer veggies
next topic:
agatha christie
Ten little Injuns
Gettin' picked off one by one:
The butler did it!
Next Topic: Michael Moore
Quote from: TrollaxI am red and black
and Yet I hate Osiris
Thankyou my sister
A message from Seth
What were you thinking, Trollax
Now he'll kill us all
as yu were...
micaheal moore
what a crazy guy!
james bond!
next:
care bears
soft fuzzy lovelies
the urge to rip, tear, and burn
white fluff in the air
next topic ; sun burns
Quote from: Horabmicaheal moore
what a crazy guy!
james bond!
I think that's Roger Moore...
Michael Moore is the liberal author/filmmaker who did "Bowling for Columbine".
Or was that an intentional joke?
Quote from: Medeo FaboverdaQuote from: Horabmicaheal moore
what a crazy guy!
james bond!
I think that's Roger Moore...
Michael Moore is the liberal author/filmmaker who did "Bowling for Columbine".
Or was that an intentional joke?
well i guess i shoud've gone with my original
michael moore
who are you dude?
michael moore
forgotten baseball cap
sits alone on the dashboard
bald head burned bright red
next topic: bottled water
five bucks a bottle
the label makes me giggle
kiwi tap water
Last time I was at Universal Studios, they were selling over-priced water that was bottled two blocks from my house, about 10,000 miles away.
Next topic: My monkey.
there are twelve of them
one of them belongs to me
it is number five
next topic: cheating
Quote from: HotsumaQuote from: TrollaxI am red and black
and Yet I hate Osiris
Thankyou my sister
A message from Seth
What were you thinking, Trollax
Now he'll kill us all
as yu were...
We are fugitive
From dark and light we have run
Osiris: Black god
Quote from: part of the ONEnext topic: cheating
victory is empty
if excellence is denied
blossoms fall early
Next topic: disconnected pockets
Always loosing things
in creepy french quantum holes
I swear at the fish.
Next topic: brass kisses
Hershey's now running
On slightly lower budget-
But Kisses of brass?!
I mean, come on. Oh, er....
Next Topic: Pedophobia (fear of children)
ohpleasegodnodont
I dont wanna be a MOM
scary little beasts!!!
next topic = dehydrated water
Water without the
Dihydrogen Monoxide.
Now safer to drink!
Next Topic: Moby-Dick
consumed by vengence
when the great white whale dies
Ahab is nothing
Next topic: out of phase
Quote from: Guido FinucciNext topic: out of phase
Battle, waves of sound!
One plus one equals zero
All will meet their match
I think that's what you meant, anyway.Next topic: Knock knock joke
A banana knocks
Repeats its name, then gives up.
Orange you glad of that?
Next Topic: Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
raindrops pelting down
try to catch a silver tail
a handful of sky
I think I may have missed the point a bit on that one. Still, I quite like the haiku.
Next topic: drunk students
Quote from: Guido FinucciNext topic: drunk students
Floor and face collide
Former lunch revisited
Thus one learns nothing
Or, just for fun:
WhASs disss haaiKu thin?
Y-you Keep coun'ing fFingers
tHink i'm gonna hurl
next topic: Elvis
Wild shaking hips
Makes 50s' parents angry.
Thankya very much!
Next Topic: Dark Side of the Moon
the lunatics are on the grass
a different tune
and everyday the paperboy brings more
next:
base
missed the topic
but at least I used the word
here is it: base
next topic: silence
All your base, base, base
All your base, are belong to
Us, all your base, base
the sacred silence
silence like a cancer grows
most breakable of all
next topic: tomato soup
red drips from my spoon
heart of the plump tomato
makes fine zombie soup
next topic: tambourine
hey mr tambourine man
play us a tune with your 3 note percussion thing
a bippity boom chi-chee
topic:
robots
we are the robots
do tee doo tee doo tee doo
we are the dobots
next topic = what does blue taste like?
what does blue taste like?
I'll tell you after I sort
out these m&m's
next topic: chap stick
lost in dark corners
a shield to sun, wind and rain
with berry flavour
Next topic: Towers of Glass and Chrome
Bonus points: don't mention towers, glass or chrome.
Quote from: Guido FinucciNext topic: Towers of Glass and Chrome
Bonus points: don't mention towers, glass or chrome.
liquid yet solid
silvery spires reach up
mirrors of heaven
Next topic: 42
Quote from: Pope NagQuote from: Guido FinucciNext topic: Towers of Glass and Chrome
Bonus points: don't mention towers, glass or chrome.
liquid yet solid
silvery spires reach up
mirrors of heaven
Next topic: 42
Hell you were to fast for me.
nevertheless I'll post mine
they touch the blue sky
reflecting all the colours
left inside: greyness
so next topic is still 42
the beast with two backs
also has twenty fingers
and twenty toes too
Next topic: Giving up
Haiku is often
Frustrating. Stupid syllab-
Les. I give up, argh.
Next topic: Lazily made, bad poetry.
you llike mst3k?
that location sounds a bit farmilliar
Malaul sp33ks in l33t
Haiku are quite teh roxxor
h4xors - ah, screw this.
As Malaul didn't specify a new topic, I cheekily propose 'Coffee Terrorist'
A smoking ruin.
It smells plesant to me.
Why torch Starbucks?
Next topic: Hair.
(Yep, I am an MST3K fan. Don't be fooled, however: No creativity went into my location.)
tall, small, spiky, big
pink blue green and even blonde
extentions and real
next topic
fake nails
the bathroom calls me
giggling from those in the hall
her nail in my back
Next topic: A rabbit with a surprise
boing bounce sproing QUESTIONS
feet, ears, tail, what would you do
if you where late too?
next topic
freedom
I have no strings and
i am free for the taking
please take me with you
next topic
lust
I drank alchohol,
Now I am making bad choices,
I will forget it.
Next topic: Sundering
ten thousand summers
an incredible distance
keeping us apart
Next Topic: Plane tickets and their associations with Elation...
i got in this box
the wing seems shaky at times
ground is good to kiss
next topic: feathers
tickle tickle sneeeeeeeeez
fuzzy little feather
stay out if my nose
next topic = orange dots
I have closed my eyes,
now I press them really hard,
I see funny things.
Next Topic: Crow Beak
between darkened blades
caught in reverent silence
lies a primal scream
Next topic: sapped
what did i do now?
concrete drying on my feet.
trunk of a mob man.
next topic: cheeze wiz
Upside down, pushing nozzle
sputsputsputthuuuurp
damn empty can
Next topic: Compaq
"Compact" is boring-
So let's spell it with a "q"
Now it's way qooler!
Next topic: Hyakugojyuuichi! (http://a3d.irdrunk.com/hyak.html)
ARGH BLEARRGHHH YIKESSS AND NOOOOOOOO
MAKE IT STOP PLEASE MAKE IT STOP
::sob:: ::whimper:: ::cringe:: ::cower:: ::die::
next = sweet sweet sleep
Quote from: MalaulARGH BLEARRGHHH YIKESSS AND NOOOOOOOO
MAKE IT STOP PLEASE MAKE IT STOP
::sob:: ::whimper:: ::cringe:: ::cower:: ::die::
next = sweet sweet sleep
Wow. It wasn't that bad, was it? :wink:
Anyfrigginwho...
When I try to sleep
I end up playing Gamecube
Till 4 AM. Bleh.
(Admittedly, every night for me is a similar scenario. Damn you, Folgers!)
Next Topic: George Michael (you are frightened, no? :twisted: )
what is this monkey?
it seems to be on my back
does it want my sex?
next topic: hunting with an assault rifle (NRA)
me and my tech nine
choice of twelve year olds in schools
looking for some deer
Moses
in the promised land
all the tribes of Israel
were slaves to closed minds
Next topic: The meds suck the soul out of your vision and you're tripping too hard to notice.
Bonus points: The poor sap thus afflicted is an authority figure and the paranoia is starting to set in.
wool, over my eyes
let go of my puppetstring
the drugs, they haunt me
next: eating blueberries fresh off the bush, when a bear decides it wants the same berries.
Quote from: sakredchaonext: eating blueberries fresh off the bush, when a bear decides it wants the same berries.
Solid blue sunshine
Yummy - Wha? Tall furry beast!
*I* shit in the woods!
Next topic: Trying to fall asleep while someone else in the house is blaring music
toss and turn
DAMN LOUD MUSIC
pulling trigger.... no more.
Next topic: blurry monitor
haikus start with 5
the next line has seven beats
lastly, again, 5
why, out of almost
six hundred thousand pixels,
can i not see this
next topic: the dead sea scrolls
the spirit of love
drowned in blood by a new king
medieval politics
Next topic: Ka-chunka ka-chunka ka-chunka.
Ka-chunka ka-choo
Jigga makka zipper-dee
Foo foo foo foo. Foo!
Next Topic: Flamethrowers that shoot chocolate hundred-dollar bills
Flamethrower strapped on my back
walking around looking waiting shoot
Where's that damn chocolate hunderd dollar bill?
Next topic: My 4 ferrets running amuck
doesnt quite fit the 5 7 5 rule
but still very good :lol:
ferrets run amok
murderating wonderf'lly
while I eat my pie.
Next topic: bystanderization
I wish I knew what
Bystanderization means.
It sounds really gay.
Next Topic: Why do old people get to wear the cool hats?
seems I am old now
the night moves twice through me
my hat oh so bling.
Nxt Topic: the shape air makes on water
CHALLENGE TO MEDEO!
today's challenge: ressurect your old ski-free haiku...those things were great :lol:
Quote from: HotsumaCHALLENGE TO MEDEO!
today's challenge: ressurect your old ski-free haiku...those things were great :lol:
Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure they got deleted forever at some point. I'll try my hand at a Ski-Free haiku, but I guarantee no greatness:
Ski in pink and blue
Slalom, Freestyle, Tree Slalom
Yeti at two-thou'
whats that weird big thing
sitting in that bony shell
mind you its your brain.
I am now single
let the good times roll my friends
::pass the absinthe::
next topic = you pick
You Ferret around
You push a little to far
Ouch! I stabbed my brain.
Next Topic: Wild Ivy
watch out for what comes
its big reckless and painfull
prepare to be gone.
Quote from: MalaulI am now single
let the good times roll my friends
::pass the absinthe::
next topic = you pick
Sorry to hear that
I give you a big hug now
*Gives Malaul big hug*
Quote from: MedeoQuote from: MalaulI am now single
let the good times roll my friends
::pass the absinthe::
next topic = you pick
Sorry to hear that
I give you a big hug now
*Gives Malaul big hug*
I don´t think she´s sorry
but rather thinking of one
living far away.
Quote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: MedeoQuote from: MalaulI am now single
let the good times roll my friends
::pass the absinthe::
next topic = you pick
Sorry to hear that
I give you a big hug now
*Gives Malaul big hug*
I don´t think she´s sorry
but rather thinking of one
living far away.
Ah, I get it now
Hard to hear emotions when
speaking in haiku.
Next Topic: The faceless evil shadow creatures underneath our clothes
Quote from: MedeoQuote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: MedeoQuote from: MalaulI am now single
let the good times roll my friends
::pass the absinthe::
next topic = you pick
Sorry to hear that
I give you a big hug now
*Gives Malaul big hug*
I don´t think she´s sorry
but rather thinking of one
living far away.
Ah, I get it now
Hard to hear emotions when
speaking in haiku.
Next Topic: The faceless evil shadow creatures underneath our clothes
but the more funny
to quote one haiku after
the other written.
You know this may be
The first conversation I've
Ever haiku-ed
Have you ever tried talking in limerick?
It's cool and it's rad and it's real sick
But it gets tired fast
And I know it won't last
Still, it's a neat, time-wasting trick
Quote from: MedeoHave you ever tried talking in limerick?
It's cool and it's rad and it's real sick
But it gets tired fast
And I know it won't last
Still, it's a neat, time-wasting trick
This is a haiku
even if you don´t like to
write in jap poetry
so this is hardly
the moment to write those new
rimes comming out´ you
Haiku are just like
Normal poems, but they don't
Rhyme and are stupid.
Rhyme and are stupid
sounds a lot like rap to me
word to 50 cent?
I have two quarters
at a yard sale with c.d.s
I buy fifty cent
next up the beauty of rubbing ones knee with a rasp
Quote from: MedeoHaiku are just like
Normal poems, but they don't
Rhyme and are stupid.
that´s why I did write
that combo of a haiku
and a limerick
Rubbing ones knees with
a rasp is usefull to make
bills stick to honey
next topic: transmutational calibrations
faster. stronger. high...
precisely dosed to perform
manufactured meat
next topic: Aneristic dispassion
All this talk about
Haiku makes Good Rev Roger
Reach for gasoline.
NEXT TOPIC: Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Fit THAT in a fooking haiku!
What am I to do?
one gigantic word still leaves
five spare syllables
next topic: Ah-fuckit.
Quote from: Guido FinucciWhat am I to do?
one gigantic word still leaves
five spare syllables
next topic: Ah-fuckit.
CHEATER!
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerCHEATER!
strict structure and form
force one to use metaphor
silvered fish slip
Next topic: Viva la revolution (but only in the proscribed and approved manner)!
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerAll this talk about
Haiku makes Good Rev Roger
Reach for gasoline.
NEXT TOPIC: Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Fit THAT in a fooking haiku!
Separate church
Separate state something that
Shocks the arab world
:-P
Quote from: St. Trollax, ODDQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerAll this talk about
Haiku makes Good Rev Roger
Reach for gasoline.
NEXT TOPIC: Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Fit THAT in a fooking haiku!
Separate church
Separate state something that
Shocks the arab world
:-P
NEXT TOPIC: TRY AGAIN!
Quote from: St. Trollax, ODDQuote from: St. Trollax, ODDQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerAll this talk about
Haiku makes Good Rev Roger
Reach for gasoline.
NEXT TOPIC: Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Fit THAT in a fooking haiku!
Separate church
Separate state something that
Shocks the arab world
:-P
NEXT TOPIC: TRY AGAIN!
no success at first
repitition of my tries
maybe success now
Quote from: St. Trollax, ODDQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerAll this talk about
Haiku makes Good Rev Roger
Reach for gasoline.
NEXT TOPIC: Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Fit THAT in a fooking haiku!
Separate church
Separate state something that
Shocks the arab world
:-P
Is that what that fucking word means?
I've always wondered that
japanese kitty
talks in haiku to tell me
she wants to get me.
japanese kitty
says to you with a smile
I already have you
Quote from: Malauljapanese kitty
says to you with a smile
I already have you
:D
japanese kitty
says I really dont have you
but one can dream right?
All these embraces
and all those gentle gazes
I don´t really mind.
Their kind warm voices
talk to me while my heart races
for them it´s I hide .
How come they like me
and don´t see the misery
here inside of me.
Nothing here seems real,
noone knows how much I feel
like dying inside.
humans are evil
with heart they cant seem to use
friendships should not hurt
Quote from: Malaulhumans are evil
with heart they cant seem to use
friendships should not hurt
those always claiming
to be your friend your trustee
to those beware of
This is a Haiku
About nothing specific
Feeling better now?
Next Topic: Babies and Pepsi don't mix
I gave my baby
A delicious Pepsi can
Nailed Him in the head
Next topic: Pope Lucifer KSC
Haiku is about
Pope Lucifer KSC
Five more words and...done!
Next topic: impersonating a deity.
Quote from: DJRubberduckyHaiku is about
Pope Lucifer KSC
Five more words and...done!
Next topic: impersonating a deity.
Boo, I was expecting a haiku exalting my Luciferiness.....
posing satanic
Pope Lucifer K S C
more evil than me
Next topic:
insomnia
watching the hours go
missed train to slumberland
sleeplessly waiting
Quote from: Den Sorte Dragenwatching the hours go
missed train to slumberland
sleeplessly waiting
Well, since no next topic was left I am going to write one about Bella as thanks for writing such a cool one about me
"Thank You"
Woman and Zombie
Fearful Oracle of Doom
Elle est tres jolie
Next Topic: Hagbard Celine
looking at the taps
one is hot the other cold
there is not a friend
Next generational stop gaps
Quote from: chaosgraves:agentoferislooking at the taps
one is hot the other cold
there is not a friend
Next generational stop gaps
what is a stop gap?
Maybe its something like a
generation gap?
Next Topic: CAPS LOCK
Typing and having
to erase it all and type
the whole damn mess again
Quote from: Den Sorte DragenSome people just live because its illegal to kill them.
do not kill humans
this is not nice, but you can
define them as animals
sorry for the extra syllable
next topic: oily chips hands
a bag of fritoes
grease all over my hands now
I wipe on my jeans.
can of soda
I have got a can
Ive got a can of soda´
I got to have cans
there is a small man
his collection of cans can
become money soon
Noone can find her
the missing girl known as Candy
where can she be going
next topic:
fears
I've got phobia's
hate spiders and high places
being on Springer
teen boys
cars, boobs and football
beer sex condoms and touch downs
must get laid by nine
next topic =
pretty committy girls
A committee to
Decide my fate. Wait! Is that
the Goddess I see?!
Next Topic: St. Tib's Day
St. Tib's Day often
is and is not sometimes or
occasionally
Next topic: flexitarian
flexitarian
means I only eat gymnasts
I like mine crunchy
Next Topic: An ode to Reverend Roger's screaming yahoos.
far far away from here
in a land of scraming yahoos
roger confuses them daily
next topic: bill gates
Quote from: mobbing
next topic: bill gates
$$$$$
$$$$$$$
$$$$$
Next Topic: China
I like chinese
they only come up to your knees
and they are ready to please
-I like chinese by eric idle
doesn't matter if it is 4-7-6 does it?
next topic: wonderful sunny day
The sun's a-burning
Scorching my retinae, yet
I can't stop staring
Next Topic: Denzel Washington
I saw him last night
bad movie set in the future
please don't rent Vee are
slum lords
One day late on rent
So you charge me fifty more
Fix my toilet, bitch
next: super mario bros.
Quote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisI saw him last night
bad movie set in the future
don't rent this one too
lords of acid
Quote from: Dr RockOne day late on rent
So you charge me fifty more
Fix my toilet, bitch
next: super mario bros.
I always thought of them
not pacman like the others
just Mario Brothers
next topic: grin, the friendly shark
purple with white teeth
scrumpin his girlfriend tiger
is she pregnant yet?
next topic: voodoo cat
my three legged cat
dead for three days rotting bad
no it meows for brains
next: beasiality with dolphins
Quote from: chaosgraves:agentoferis
next: beasiality with dolphins
dolphins with biases
beastial beasials and
beasybuzzy business
next topic: immortaiti
Quote from: chaosgraves:agentoferis
next: beasiality with dolphins
sadly there is a website that desribes in DETAIL how to have sex with dolphins
Quote from: MalaulQuote from: chaosgraves:agentoferis
next: beasiality with dolphins
sadly there is a website that desribes in DETAIL how to have sex with dolphins
have an article on it at home...
every bodys dead dave.
I'm sorry Flipper-
No reach-around for you, friend
Trapped in tuna nets
next: Soleil Moonfrye's breast augmentation
that punky brewster
I poked her in the boobies
now they are bigger
stained panties
nobody knows the
painties I´ve seen. Nobody
knows the stained panties.
next Topic: ICH WILL
daughter of chaos
call me clutz, hot soup splatters
tomato soup stained panties
Oops....double post.
Quote from: illusiondaughter of chaos
call me clutz, hot soup splatters
tomato soup stained panties
Next topic: mutant love child
Mutant mutant on
the wall, how I do love thee
oh mutant love child
next topic:
ICH WILL
Quote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: illusiondaughter of chaos
call me clutz, hot soup splatters
tomato soup stained panties
Next topic: mutant love child
Mutant mutant on
the wall, how I do love thee
oh mutant love child
next topic:
ICH WILL
thanks for saving me from that double post, DSD.
What is it I want?
I want only to exist
That is what ich will.
Next Topic: Prague
(Ich will means "I want" in German, right? If not, please to be ignoring this haiku)
Quote from: illusionQuote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: illusiondaughter of chaos
call me clutz, hot soup splatters
tomato soup stained panties
Next topic: mutant love child
Mutant mutant on
the wall, how I do love thee
oh mutant love child
next topic:
ICH WILL
thanks for saving me from that double post, DSD.
those are the things that make my life worth something ;)
Quote from: MedeoNext Topic: Prague
my ten thousanth day
sitting in the old town square
it's time for a beer
Next Topic: Clandestine Welsh
Secret train man waits
For the revolution's dawn
Ross Noble is god
NEXT TOPIC: THERE'S NINJAS!
A star in my head
Anonymous assassins
-Must be ninjas, yo!
Next Topic: Danny Elfman
Your music is tight
I don't know much about you
Is Jenna your sis?
(http://www.wnybooks.com/eyes/elfman.jpg)
Next Topic: suicide girls
The chicks love this one:
"Suicide Hotline: Please hold"
-but death's still no joke.
Next Topic: Chaosgraves:AgentofEris
Quote from: MedeoThe chicks love this one:
"Suicide Hotline: Please hold"
-but death's still no joke.
Next Topic: Chaosgraves:AgentofEris
Silly little man,
We know you are Medeo's twin,
but there'salways room.
Next topic: Determination of error in parametric equations.
Are we supposed to?
only write haiku´s in here
on a given theme?
only if you want
to avoid the stabbity
death of horrid doom
next topic: put that bong down
I would put it down...
but it seems my hands are glued.
Might as well use it!
Next Topic: Alternative uses for a bong
there is more than one
kind of tea one can brew in
a bong, like oohlong.
Next Topic: Stabbity Death
Psycho with big hat
Stabbinates red-clad swordsman
But to no avail (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=040527)
Next Topic: Sprite comics
What's the deal with that?
Nasty soda is a toon?
fuck that, gimmie coke...
NEXT TOPIC...................
Black adder
black adder black adder you
wretched litle evil man
you´re welcome on forums
Dragen specified
no new topic, which leaves the
choice of one to me :twisted:
Next Topic: Insomnia
coffee, worrys and other stuff
keep you from sleeping, all night
listen to me => fall asleep
next topic: tux
give me my good old
straight jacket anytime man
keep this goddam tux
Next Topic: Christmas Fruitcake
Passed around like a
cheap prostitute, nobody
wants the fruitcake.
Next subject: The propensity of liver cancer to metastasize to other organs.
like flies in summer
bad news never comes alone;
one more statistic
Next topic: Synchronicity
Flying a house to
The wacky land of Oz, plus
Dark Side o' the Moon
Next Topic: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
P.S.: Love the avatar, Nag.
The next topic is:
The Daily Show with Jon, well
Jon Stewart that is.
Next topic: Use (your) Ilusion
Guns and roses suck
at least I think that was theirs
80s music rules
NEXT TOPIC = broken mirrors
broken images
truth's fragmented reflections
scrying mirror shards
Next Topic: feather boa
Quote from: MalaulGuns and roses suck
at least I think that was theirs
80s music rules
NEXT TOPIC = broken mirrors
but november rain was a nice song.....a shame it was never covered by someone else
better a feather
tickling your ass than a boa
crawling in your ass
Next topic: Violins
Quote from: Den Sorte Dragenbetter a feather
tickling your ass than a boa
crawling in your ass
Next topic: Violins
a kick in the skull
several cracked ribs here
i will kick your ass
next loose morals
Quote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisQuote from: Den Sorte Dragenbetter a feather
tickling your ass than a boa
crawling in your ass
Next topic: Violins
a kick in the skull
several cracked ribs here
i will kick your ass
whats that gotta do with violins????
Quote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisQuote from: Den Sorte Dragenbetter a feather
tickling your ass than a boa
crawling in your ass
Next topic: Violins
a kick in the skull
several cracked ribs here
i will kick your ass
whats that gotta do with violins????
you were never a band geek were you?!?!?
Quote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisQuote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisQuote from: Den Sorte Dragenbetter a feather
tickling your ass than a boa
crawling in your ass
Next topic: Violins
a kick in the skull
several cracked ribs here
i will kick your ass
whats that gotta do with violins????
you were never a band geek were you?!?!?
hmmmm you referring to pearl jam?
Quote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisQuote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisQuote from: Den Sorte Dragenbetter a feather
tickling your ass than a boa
crawling in your ass
Next topic: Violins
a kick in the skull
several cracked ribs here
i will kick your ass
whats that gotta do with violins????
you were never a band geek were you?!?!?
hmmmm you referring to pearl jam?
in middle school ( junior high)... I played violin... that is my haiku on the subject....
Quote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisQuote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisQuote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisQuote from: Den Sorte Dragenbetter a feather
tickling your ass than a boa
crawling in your ass
Next topic: Violins
a kick in the skull
several cracked ribs here
i will kick your ass
whats that gotta do with violins????
you were never a band geek were you?!?!?
hmmmm you referring to pearl jam?
in middle school ( junior high)... I played violin... that is my haiku on the subject....
nice, i like violins
at our highschool creative expression was kinda avoided....it was just 8 hours a day of dull mindless topics with no room for things like that (I hated it and still do)
gets the feeling that den is too stoned to write about loose morals.
Quote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisgets the feeling that den is too stoned to write about loose morals.
*sigh*
topic fanatics
like you are only thinkin
about loose morals
next topic: "happy now?"
Quote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisgets the feeling that den is too stoned to write about loose morals.
*sigh*
topic fanatics
like you are only thinkin
about loose morals
next topic: "happy now?"
wait aminute.... I just said that I thought you were to stoned to do it... not that you had to do it.... please look at my tips again.
I sit content
happy is a state of mind see
my daughter is here
next: whatever the hell you want
Quote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisQuote from: Den Sorte DragenQuote from: chaosgraves:agentoferisgets the feeling that den is too stoned to write about loose morals.
*sigh*
topic fanatics
like you are only thinkin
about loose morals
next topic: "happy now?"
wait aminute.... I just said that I thought you were to stoned to do it... not that you had to do it.... please look at my tips again.
I sit content
happy is a state of mind see
my daughter is here
next: whatever the hell you want
you got a daughter?
a lucky guy you must be
having kids is nice
a heathen fanatic
lock up your daughters
give your virginity to charity
next: calgary pwnz tampa
Duddley Dooright vs
Flipper. No contest. Tampa
pwned by Calgary
Next Topic: chat rooms
nineteen year old girl
want's me to see her naked
I think she's a bot
next: spanking fun
What is the sound of
one hand clapping? I Don't know;
I prefer spanking
Next: skittles - taste the rainbow
peach/plum/pineapple/
the colours of the rainbow
sweet upon my tongue
Next Topic: raisinettes
dissapointed grape
how like the journey of life
you are, in a box.
Next up: finding your significant other on a beastiality site.
i can't get no satisfaction
now i see her with a fish and a tree
and the damned site is not even free!
well well well you see
no topic was given me
I can write on this
next:booty
"Booty" means many
things: treasure, footwear, or glutes
It's all good to me!
Next topic: The Addams Family
dun dun dun dun snap
snap/ dun dun dun dun snap snap/
dun dun dun dun dun dun
dun dun dun dun dun
snap snap/ they're creppy
and they;re cooky. and
Im out of room
(its a stretch, work with me guys)
next topic - bay watch
boing bounce giggle bob
will it ever stop? run just
a little bit more
next topic - Foamy
I SAID FOAMY!!!!
Cream in the Cheese and
the creamy Cheesy Cheesey
Cream Creamy Cream Cheese!
Next: Coffee Shops
Written on behalf of
Your Lord and Master
Foamy
There was a litle shop
it was just a big coffeeshop
a shop called Starbucks
In it was a cat
in it was a sweet coffeecat
she was called Malaul
But in that coffeeshop
unlike in those dutch coffeeshops
they did not sell drugs
just lots of coffee
lots of sugar milk and tea
but gave me free hugs
NEXT TOPIC: Mean Melancholy
Quote from: SMFabalCream in the Cheese and
the creamy Cheesy Cheesey
Cream Creamy Cream Cheese!
Next: Coffee Shops
Written on behalf of
Your Lord and Master
Foamy
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
thats was GREAT!!!
5 lashes for you!!!
Quote from: MalaulQuote from: Den Sorte DragenThere was a litle shop
it was just a big coffeeshop
a shop called Starbucks
In it was a cat
in it was a sweet coffeecat
she was called Malaul
But in that coffeeshop
unlike in those dutch coffeeshops
they did not sell drugs
just lots of coffee
lots of sugar milk and tea
but gave me free hugs
NEXT TOPIC: Mean Melancholy
awwwwwwwwww dragenm i am truely humbled!! you are the best!
8) :D
life is never good
always too hot or too cold
think i'll kick the dog
next topic:
jesus and mohammad talk about their followers
Quote from: sakredchaolife is never good
always too hot or too cold
think i'll kick the dog
next topic:
jesus and mohammad talk about their followers
who are these morons?
I thought they were with you, man.
then who are those ones?
next:... radioactive isotopes
TOP DOWN CHROME SPINNING,
TALUFA JAMMING IN BACK.
HOT AS CESIUM!
D/N/T!
AND 1!!!
NEXT TOPIC: POLYNESIANS OWN YUO.
quaint seaside hamlet
the sun-drenched beaches of Yuo
sold to Islanders
Next topic: The utter uselesness of grammar flames in the Eternal September.
WHEN THE WIND BLOWS COLD,
DON'T BE HATIN ON MY POSTS,
TONGANS BE LIKE DAT.
NEXT TOPIC: HAVIN' THA BASKETBALL JONES.
my small basketball
got hit by a truck today
i'm geting the shakes
next topic: dust bunnies
I look under chairs
clown on a big comfy couch
dust bunnies are fast
next up... racist mexicans
oh man i love that show.. those were the very dustbunnies i was thinking of!
i was in highschool
video cam'ra waiting
to whoop my white ass
next topic: plastic food
ps.. they only hit me once and decided they didn't want to get cut up.. :twisted:
stringy tofu, not
biodegradable, Damn!
recycled plastic
next topic: the cure
This post has been redacted in the interests of national security
How moody, how sad
I cannot think but to cry
Robert Smith should die
next topic: the disease
mom caught me smoking
now I have to go to church
jesus really sucks
Next topic: the reckoning
ought to do sumthin'
the darndest thing, well i'll be
ain't right, i reckon
next: jrr tolkien
Five coloured smoke rings;
a chain of imaginings.
a hobbit smoke out.
next topic: Anal Leakage
trying to buy food
waiting in line with nachos
diarhea sucks
next: supercalafragilisticexpialadocious
went to the movies
with imaginary friends
damn Mary Poppins
next: Crackerjacks
wait helplessly
for nothing real
no sign or sound
from the outside
that wasn't a hiaku
poetry police!
hope you like prison, lady
toss the word-salad.
Next topic: Sunday Night Sex Show
church in the morning
bet jesus takes it later
just like a good slave
__
next: brillo in the crackpipe
cough soft, the crack pipe
trembles in my shaking hands.
*cough* is this brillo?
next topic: Transvestites seeking nirvana
looking for jesus
in the woman's department
think I'll wear pink
next: sacred cow of India
Waiting, alone... night
A flying leap and a crash
Let's go tip some more
NEXT TOPIC:
..................................
..................................
..................................
This thing called PEZ!
woudl you like a pez?
HAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAH
that terrible laugh
next
commie french fries.
i like chili fries
oh wait, now they're illegal
you hungry, comrade?
next: blushing bride
Quote from: sakredchaonext: blushing bride
What is that, my love?
A porno mag?! What? Um...well...
I needed the work!
Next: the victory of surrender
i capitulate
through surrender i have found
my bowel movements
************************************************
next topic:
horney house wives
(bonus IBS haiku:
this irritable
bowel syndrom leaves me raw
the way you once did
this is a Pu Mu Haiku [Haiku of Insult])
horny and someone
elses wive, fucking her makes
me happy and sad
--> irc at night
horny and someones
cybering, cybering makes
me happy and sad
ninja zombie pirates...
stealthy undeads haunt
the seas in search for rum, gold
and new body parts
--> cthulhu fish
rain is falling
I'm only hoping
for you finding me there...
cthulhufish comes
devourer of many
many other fish
Next topic: 2 people 2 together 4-eva
Puerile poetry,
Calf-eyed stares, kissy faces.
God damn, get a room!
Next up: Old McCthulhu's Farm
and in that pod there
was a squid, E-I-E-I-
O. and he ate me.
next topic:
The Contents of Horab's Bowel Movements
Quote from: Saint*Bastardand in that pod there
was a squid, E-I-E-I-
O. and he ate me.
next topic:
The Contents of Horab's Bowel Movements
blood piss and some beer
Found in fibslager's sewer
A "grapefruit" diet
NEXT TOPIC:
..................................
..................................
..................................
Miniature golf and it's effect on world politics...
chaos, chaos, chaos
why? why? why?
Erus, Eris, Eris...
its so faint sometimes
even shallow, the inside
often feels so hollow
sun and smile
hope and love
I cannot reach...
run and hide
for what's to come
I cannot breath...
(we're not really haikuing; whatever)
five/seven/five good
But the thing is, syllables
do not make haiku
first impressions, scenes
these are what haiku describes
fleeting images
haiku needs kigo
like cherry blossoms for spring
or snow in winter
But yeah, what-the-hell-ever. It's not like you win a prize for writing "proper" haiku.
well thats the spirit
what good are haiku's if
you are bound by rules
don't bother with
rules....
the real haiku game
contradiction fits
your koan is not solved yet
go eat some more rice
next topic:
hobo's exchanging stories for sponge baths
apostraphies
silly little grammar marks
good lord, write haikus
once i ate old fish
my intestines, a terror
i'll trade you spongebaths.
next: ca'n't
i can'not say ca'n't
ne'ver' say ne'ver', mister.
aah! too many rules.
nekst to'pi'c: the gramer nazzi.
he paid attention
grade school was for doodling
not learning lame rules
i find it funny
that on a board of chaos
rules are expounded
next topic: one left, one right
Time and sadness
overgriwing me
sun is shininh there
when (or if) at last
will I get
things long lost in the past*
*actually few minutes ago...
few minutes ago
i blew snot out of my nose
where is it all from?!?
next: how cool malaul is
uh huh, yeah, right, sure
Im just doing my job here
this is a mods job...
Next topic = how Malaul is not cool
wearing her bodice
malaul is not a cool cat
firecracker hot
next: applesauce
lucid state of mind
romulans eat applesauce
just like Malaul does
next topic: the Anti-Buddha
Come on, man, indulge!
There are no consequences-
Don't be such a boob
Next Topic: Utopia
cold and dark
fish and shark
no!! damn, it's Cthulhu!!!
::blink::
before i am moved
before the thought of action
before thought itself
(mu)
next: haikus
So, it's come to this
Some haiku about haiku
No more ideas?
Next topic: guess not
it was satire
look at the post before it
i was feeling lost
next: chasing midgets through the streets of manhattan with a stick of butter.
what glee, merryment
that my fetish can be seen
manhattanites gasp
next topic: amish porn
RAW, REAL, and UNCUT!
Plain women, showing ankles
Churn that butter, ho!
Next Topic: Dead Man's Party
anta baka ne
dewa arimasen to
watashi desu
Next topic please?
Eriss' pert apples
So Soft And Tender
Silky, Smooth, Yummy, So Ripe
I just want one bite.
Next Topic: CC's total loss of the Muse.
Quote from: Compositus ConfusioSo Soft And Tender
Silky, Smooth, Yummy, So Ripe
I just want one bite.
Next Topic: CC's total loss of the Muse.
blah blah blah balh balh
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
I have no muse blah
next:
Eaiting a hot dog
with mustard and Walla-wallas
this is the haiku
Big pond.
Frog jump in.
Splash.
Next Topic: Ultra-minimalism
.
next topic:
crack fiends.
my name is rick james
i smoked crack and wrote music
super freak is dead
Next Topic: A Very Freaky Girl (The Kind You Don't Take Home To Mother)
Quote from: Saint*Bastard
Next Topic: A Very Freaky Girl (The Kind You Don't Take Home To Mother)
I'd make this haiku
about Eris, but that would
be too obvious.
Next Topic: Eris teaches Sunday school
You really don't need
That crazy woman warping
kids minds - well, why not?
Next topic: bondo
one more late night crime
double murder in belen
bondo colored car
next topic: pickles & creamcheese
kosher,dill, or sweet
creamy covered crunchy treats
green silky poopie
next topic:
eloping to vegas :twisted:
Our parents wouldn't
pay, so we ran off. now we're
just a statistic
Next topic:
Aquafina
¬°Amo la agua!
Ella es muy fina.
Quiero un taco.
Next Topic: Paraskevidekatriaphobia (Fear of Friday the 13th)
Friday the Thirteenth
A hockey mask and a knife
Hack and Slash delights
Next Topic: Soylent Green is People
i ate it today
even ate it yesterday
green human goo
next topic: fishy tang
Hey that's not haiku!
You're just counting syllables
Stop that this instant!
Next topic:
The importance of the continuation of the game as it pretains to there being an actual next topic.
what is the sound
of an on topic thread?
we may not know.
next topic:
dawson from dawson creek.
Fuck Dawson that prick
It's Katie Holmes I want to lick
here kitty kitty
Next topic: head porn
katie holmes is back
donkees head, lost in crack, sickkkk!!!
should've stuck to lick
calling out the wrong name in bed
really bad idea
do I need to say much else
I didn't think so
next topic: Antartica
Quote from: Hotsumareally bad idea
do I need to say much else
I didn't think so
next topic: Antartica
It's white and empty
There's a lonely planet guide
I don't know why though
NEXT TOPIC: IRONY
Quote from: St. Trollax, ODDQuote from: Hotsumareally bad idea
do I need to say much else
I didn't think so
next topic: Antartica
It's white and empty
There's a lonely planet guide
I don't know why though
NEXT TOPIC: IRONY
What don't people get
Irony isn't quite their gift.
Misfortune's mostly it.
Next Topic:
Utada Hikaru and how she is a Sex Goddess.
who is Hikaru
Is she really so sexy?
I haven't seen her
Next Topic: fake pimps
You are not a pimp
Stop acting like one, you ass
I hate you a lot
Next topic: The importance of the color pink throughout human history.
hey pinky!
how can you eat your pudding
if you don't eat your meat?
next topic:
sensitive men
Jimmy's got a little
Bit of bitch in him, the bitch
in him outwieghs Jim
Next Topic: Teabagging
place in hot water
delicious to drink
throw the bags
next topic:
donkey's dirty mind
She might say donkeys are
useless but, they are great when
She needs a hard ride
Next Topic: Web Site Not Responding
404 error
Crap DSL, piece of shit
Goddamn cocksucker
Oh gosh by golly
A Haiku with no topic
Who would of thunk it
Next topic: Cthulu vs. Foamy
Cuantas syllables
Does "Cthulu" contain, huh?
I'm guessing 'bout three.
(Ya think using spanish was a cheat there?)
again with no topic
LMNO must stop it
if it wants to play
Next Topic: It was SssBella's fault!
I blame the Bella.
Pseudo-mommy told me to!
Can't think for myself.
Next topic: Throwing ice into boiling water
Ice in hot water,
Melts much faster than in air,
Because heat melts ice.
next topic: fifteen pens.
This time I'll do right:
15 pens can do no wrong.
Here comes a Topic!
Next Topic: Chilled asparagus soup.
"take this back at once!"
"it's chilled asparagus soup."
"I don't care, waiter!"
(I hope that's right, first ever attempt at a haiku)
Next subject: Mud caked shoes
Picking out the mud
"Dammit, I just bought these things!"
Who profits? Nike.
Next Topic: Voodoo Hammer
Stand next to mountains
Bust a dope fresh dancin' move.
Voodoo Hammer time!
On deck: Narwhals
Man, that fuckin' tusk!
Some folks only know it from
the B-52s
Next Topic: The New Cure Album
The Cure released a new record
honey, get my gun
That whiny bastard shall DIE!
Nest Topic: Custy
(http://www.goodshakes.com/albums/nye2003/aau.jpg)
Is that Custy's Pic?
Perhaps Donkeyotay's friend?
Drunk fuck hates The Cure.
Next Topic: Starting Shit for the Fuck of it.
My friend Doug is drunk
He hit that guy on the head
with a log he found!
Next topic: back to school
I'd like to go back,
Escape reality's maze,
Four-year vacation.
Next topic: Militia Men
reason to start shit?
no, i'm a jackass
morning noon and night
next topic: missing silverware
her spoon is missing
Where could it have gone to now?
I think it eloped!
Nest Topic: Making millions picking up dog poop
Clean the median:
Goin to dog shit island,
Makin the big bucks
Next topic: hangovers
drink heavily now,
pay for it in the morning:
ow that really hurts!
next topic: paper cups
Soggy mess of goo
Long ago, it held my drink
I need another
Next topic: UFOs
Before the ufos, another "paper cups" haiku:
Do you really think
That's gonna protect my balls?
Surely sir, you jest.
Ok, NOW Next topic: UFOs
A cup it may be
or perhaps jet or kite
it beammed me up.
slimey twat.
Twat? I cunt hear you.
Too slippery to get out
This Haiku's yucky.
Next up: Avocados
green avocados
tasted good in the tacos
but not in the soup
next topic: banjo players
moving to and fro
look at the fingers go
precisely playing
Next topic:corn fields
corn fields are good for
barrels of beer and fireworks
we can make popcorn
next topic: I need a smoke!
Cigarettes
I want to have some
Give me them
Next topic: Spaceships from Mars invading earth.
Xenoc Invasion!
Hide the Mars Bars, professor,
they love chocolate!
Next topic: Mutant Cowsheep
oh hail mighty brahman
three headed cows from mars
the final food chain solution
next topic:
1000 bottles of beer on the wall
I drank all of them:
then, I got 2 hours of sleep.
Now I'm hung over.
Next topic: roadrunner
beep beep beep beep beep
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
beep beep beep beep beep
Next topic: underaged kitty alcoholics
Mewl, -hic- mewl (lap lap)
That is such a fake ID.
Kittie's got problems.
Next up: head explody
hey look it's the prez
Wave to john f. kennedy
What happened to him.
fire season.
You, season, are FIRED!
Trump's britches are now too big
Turn off the TV
Have at thee: ephedrine
I know a doctor
who makes millions of dollars
hocking ephedrine
Next Topic: Sey-Hay and Hey-Now
Hey now! Heeeeeeeeeey now! What?
I sey heeeeey.... sorry I'm deaf,
Oh OK that's fine.
Next topic: How many pepperami's can you stick up your arse? (my friend wishes to know)
twenty three he said
when asked how many of those
he could shove up there
Next Topic: Born in a microwave
Quote from: Donkeyotaytwenty three he said
when asked how many of those
he could shove up there
Next Topic: Born in a microwave
Born in the oven
it strove towards excellence
tragically fell
Next topic: What was it?
What was it that I
said that made her love me so?
Who cares, she loves me!
:vomit: :shock: :pie:
next topic: Rick Nielson of Cheap Trick
I want you to want
Me; I need you to need me
din' I see you cry?
::akward::
Next up: jury duty
just say you hate gays,
blacks, mexicans, and jews. they
wont let you on.
next topic: Riff
Rock & Roll High School
"Riff Randall, Rock n Roller."
And then, mice explode.
Take a shot at: Insurance salesmen.
It's not insurance,
It's a life time saving plan.
Betting you die last.
Next topic: Chef's love of the Oakland Raiders
Chef loves the oakland
raiders, because they give him
the butt sex he needs.
Next topic: how I forgot the next topic topic
Hotsuma, you ass
You forgot the next topic
stupid fucking prick! :twisted:
next topic: FUCK YEAH!!
Don't say fuck, cuz fuck
is the worst word you can say
fuck yeah, no .....Mmmmkay?
next topic: I have some ideas for cures,
but no victims on which to experiment
I've got a new cure,
But no one is sick enough,
I will infect them.
Next topic: Oscilation
A rotating fan
chopped off Dumeany's big toe
through oscilation
Next Topic: rubbing alcohol
One time, at band camp,
After too much alcohol,
She began rubbing.
Here ya go: The death of giants
once giants upon a time
now bones in the golden sun
history has begun
next topic: nightmares
I fear them
The things that scare
Please make them go
Next topic: Using school computers to chat during lessons
haxor the security
so that i can chat with my pals
d'oh! the teacher busted me
next: clubbing baby seals
Clubbing Baby Seals.
An Honorable Pasttime
It doesn't grieve me.
Next: A Haiku in Japanese, for Christ's sake.
:D I am a mommy :D
:D I am so very happy :D
:D cause I'm a mommy :D
hatori honzo
domo irigato
mr roboto!
next topic:
febreze
What is that damn smell?
Puppies boiling in goat piss?
Where the hell is the febreze?
Next topic: How Charlemagne can't seem to get the hang of how to write Haiku.
Quote from: LMNO
Next topic: How Charlemagne can't seem to get the hang of how to write Haiku.
Not my fault I don't understand English eough to do it right.
Then is this right?
I am very sorry
I do suck a this
Next topic - Yoghurt
Ok, I forgive, because I love.
Of course, I could be chastened myself, seing as how us Discordians must stick apart; after all, why should We adhere to the rules of Haiku?
There are rules?
:oops:
heh. Not anymore.
New Next topic: Anarchy
The modem is down
Not supposed to happen huh
More marketing shit
Next Topic........
Stress
Aargh! Fuck fuck fuck fuck!
Goddamit! Motherfucker!
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!
Batter up: the fine print
this is too easy
you didn't expect something else?
cash back guarantee
Next topic:
I'll feed the ducks soon
would youlike to help me out?
I didn't think so
I would love to help
because I love ducks
but I'm washing hair
fuck the fucking fuckers and fuck the fuckers that fuck them.
A lot of fucking
going on around here, huh?
That's fucking way cool.
Next: Soul Power
You do not have it
Because you are a problem
therefore I shall lie
Next topic:
Cultists
I don't need power
to keep my soul going strong
All I need is pegs
Next topic: Trains that swim
Look a swimming train!
Let's go and stop its swimming
On second thought, let's not
Next topic - Bella for President
discordians vote?
in the unlikely event
that no one else did.
Cucumber shake.
put the cucumber
in the blender with ice cream
press puree and drink
next topic: lazy Demon Seeds
Sleeping, sleeping seed
Lazy, lazy demon seed
go to bed and sneeze
Next: Topic
what were we saying?
do you remember or not?
maybe a subject?
mutants and masterminds
Mastermind mutant
swollen head all abnormal
Looks like a huge swede
Next topic: Cars in the sky
in this day and age
wasn't there supposed to be
some flying cars, huh?!?!?
Whats the next topic?
I think its "yellow squirrels"
Well, don't you agree?
Next topic: Purple squirrels.
purple or yellow
I eat Devil Squerrels for
breakfast every day!
next topic: Catholic girls
You look so good
I want to make sweet love to you
But you are a nun
Next topic: Keychains
(Man, 5,7,5 - is that so hard?)
Metal, rust and hook
And at the tip of the chain
Is a singing key
Next topic: Beards without parents
Quote from: stabag(Man, 5,7,5 - is that so hard?)
yes as a matter of fact it is. :P
dismebodied beards
scourging the countryside
i'll protect your daughters!
next topic: the terible secret of space.
The one thing no man
ever could get the grip of -
space is made of newts
Next topic - Fur
575? Woot? I thought it was just about writing a lot of crap in three rows!
Anyway:
Furs are great things
Made up mostly from hair
Ph34r the mighty fur
Next topic - Whining haiku-poets
"You're doing it wrong"
Please adhere to all the rules
Otherwise, it's not really a haiku (but why the hell should we follow the rules if we're all Erisian anyway?)
Pot shots at: Snarky Discordians
the grammar nazi
can shove his colons up his
proverbial ass
next topic: Ruggiero Burnsides
My last one was right
Ruggiero and also
The Burnsides
Next topic - The death of a discordian grammar nazi!
"made up mostly from
hair" has only 6 syllables.
Oh, the nazi's dead.
take aim at: dandruff
What is this weird word
What is its true meaning
I don't want to know
Next topic - Sex
"What is it's true mean-
in" is just 6 syllables.
mmm, fucking is good.
Try on: headkick
Hi-ya! I kick you
Feel the pain, as I rain blows
on your brain! Owned!
Next topic - Cthulhu
Cthulu shall eat
You first for not writing
Haikus correctly
Next Topic: Kidnapped by hillbillys
They took me away
My revenge shall come one day
Now save me from them!
Next topic - Lightbulbs
phsopherent filament
omnidirectional halo
graven image
next: horab ran out of pot.
help i am in need
of a plumer, my pipe is
broken, needs fixing
next topic: I grow hemp :twisted:
fertilizer and light!
crosswire teh electrical box
the cops busted me for messing with the hydro
(yeah i know)
next:let's lynch the landlord
Lets lynch the landlord
Lets glue him to the trailer
And drive through his land
Next: Shave him
norelco or bic
shave that fucking hairy prick
clean of pubic hairs
next topic: loopy fruits
Oh, I like my fruit
All hail the loopy fruits
Yes, hail indeed
Next topic - Cold beer
*drooooooooooool*
ice cold and refreshing
i like beer
next: sex in a thunderstorm
That's not a haiku
But then the thunder rumbled
Someones having sex
Why can't people learn?
We want topics to haiku!
Give us our topic!
Next topic: Currency
Zorga adores green
Emeralds flash, jade softly glows
Cash is best of all
Next topic: Bamboo
I appologize
Bamboo snaps in the distance
Forgot the topic
Next topic: Misinformation
multi-national
corporations operate
U. S. media
next topic: handlebar moustaches
I recall cowboys
and sadistically cruel villians
and, of course, gay men.
Next topic: Baptists
Someone found a cave
Must be a holy relic!
St. John the Baptist
next topic: automated underwear
It washes itself
and makes you feel refreshed and
clean after hot sex
Next Topic: SHIT! I am late for class!
who give a goddam
about mere academics?
but the prof is hot!
Topic: Wire
there is this band right
I can not remember much
I know they were Wire
( pigface fucking rules)
Fuck it up pigface
even The Pixies took part
ever see 'em live?
Next up: the horse you rode in on
This is no mere horse
but the finest ass in town
You want to ride it!
Next topic: slackjawed banjo pickers
Deern deern deern deern deern
Deern deern deern deern...deern deern deern
Deern deern deern deern deern...
Next topic: being a smartass
My ass has a brain
It makes my ass very smart
I have a smart ass
next topic: Magnetic refrigerator letters.
with wet love she crawled
into the flower of pain
and wept joyously
(taken from 'fridgerator magnet poem)
Next Topic: evil checks
Standing in the road
Screaming that the end is near
The dark lord cometh
Next topic: Drunken UPS guy
my package is late!
inebriated again?
covered in vomit
next topic: marl-f's zombies
These Zombies are broke
Their arms have fallen off
and they can't pay rent!
Next topic: freeloading deities
Sorry, can I one more about Zombies?
Sand and water
Fire and demise
The Zombie is made
"Hey, lend me five bucks!"
Said Eris, right before She
Borrowed my skateboard.
Garage Rock is next
(Garage rock can come next)
People need to learn
The correct form of haiku
It's five seven five
(Garage rock can come next)
People don't seem to care
About the correct form of haiku
Hey look! It's almost fall!
(still next)
::Falls onto his knees::
::Puts his face into his hands::
::Begins to whimper::
(delayed once again)
What about the season?
Aren't you s'pose to mention it?
What's the next topic?
The next topic is
Something about garage rock
No more delays please
Next topic --> Garage Rock
I promise you Marl
No more off-topic haikus
Next one will be on
Next topic - Garage Rock
I say wtf?
Who cares about the topic?
Not me, no , not me!
Next topic - garage rock
i have a garage,
there is a rock outside my patio
hip hip hooray!
next topic: two ducks and a bucket.
Two bucks for a duck
Or two ducks in a bucket
duck for my bucking
Next topic: Eight
place it on it's side
and it's a symbol meaning
eternity.. eight!
next topic: day dreaming of sleep
Quote from: Demon seed#threeplace it on it's side
and it's a symbol meaning
eternity.. eight!
next topic: day dreaming of sleep
I was up all night
I stayed to watch the sunrise
silly silly me
Next topic........
meringues
egg whites and sugar
atop a pile of creamy
chocolate pie. YUM!
next topic: the "incident"
It did not happen.
No one can prove anything.
Resume your day, please.
Have at thee! "Paranoia"
Paranoia will
destroy all you herb smokin
hippies...What was that?
Next Topic: getting arrested at Dairy Queen for demanding a refund for a milkshake
This Blizzard sucks ass.
Give me my money back, bitch!
Hello, officer...
topic: drums in the distance
bum bum bum bum bum
Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum
BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM
next topic - Topics
sore losers do
never get what they
want so stfu n00b!
lol j/k.
next topic: j00 are not a jedi yet.
Much to learn have you
Teach you I must skywalker
use the force you musr
Next topic..........
Do not mess with yoda.
Don't mess with Yoda
His Green Majesty
He's gonna blow you to Death Star!!!
next topic: schizofrenia
I have just came back from Marc Chagall's exhibition, so will be not about schizofrenia, right now I am in climat for surrealism...
LIVE in yellow
SEE in red
DIE in blue...
schizofrenia still actual :)
schizofrenia
would be what this is about
if i'd looked it up
next topic: sneaky cartoon characters
sneaky sneaky sneak
sneaky sneaky sneaky sneaky sneak
sneaky sneaky sneak
nest topic: hroab's head hurts
Horab has a head
But it's in the other room
Getting some asprin
Next topic: Typos
speliing typos are
for nublars j0
i pity teh f00!
next topic: who cares?
Donkeyotay said
Next topic: who cares? and I
will write about it
Next topic: cipot txeN
.tsafkaerb dah evah I
.hcnul ym dah evah osla I
?rennid rof s'tahw rednoW
tsenraE gnieb fo ecnatropmi ehT :copit txen
I am not earnest
But does that make me unim...
...portant? I guess so.
Next topic - Hyperbolic Parabaloids.
once i took acid
contemplate geometry
concave, meet convex
next: eating elmers glue, again
Dammit, I am out
of paste. now what will the kids
eat for their snacktime?
next topic: ummm
uuuummmmmmmmmmm
uuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
ummmmm.
next topic: my little pony
My little pony
You are five syllabels
All hail Eris
Next topic: Necromancers!
I raise living dead
WHAChIKKI ChIKKI ChIKKI
That's my zombie call
next topic - Haikus
what a lame topic
you chose for the next haiku
imagination!
next topic: polygamists at Wal-Mart
one man, five spouses
too bad they are all mormon
and boring in bed
next topic: Gnomes that get run over for being smart-asses :twisted:
OMG! A truck!
Runs around in circles.
SQUISH! Poor little gnome.
Next topic: Donkeys who are really jackasses.
When are they ever
gonna nominate a guy
who's great, and not just "better"?
Next: Free Mumia!
Mumia Abu
Jamal deserves a re-trial
he will be set free
next topic: Catholic Girls
Catholic Girls Rock
And With Their Knee High Socks, I
can not resist a kiss.
Next Topic: Miei's Clinical Obsession with Gackt
miei likes gackt
I like gack the goopy sticky stuff
I win.
Next topic: fuckture the structure.
does a fuckture hurt?
because there's one in my shoe.
hope it doesn't bite...
Topic is: Nectarines
Demonica ate
nectarines for years until
she stopped her yoga
next topic: General Evil..the anal ranger
Fly through the rectum
Of a large politician
General Evil
(sounds best when sung)
next topic - An ape with a smokebomb.
Eric Has Smokebombs
He is a great ape you know
Anthropology
Next Topic:
A Hominid with Smokebombs that is not a Great Ape
the chimp with the bomb
is no great ape, but merely
a dork paladin.
Next Topic: I like to talk shit, please don't be insulted :twisted:
i liek to shit
and i cannot lie
here's teh 5$ i owe your mom from last night. tell her i'll see her at 8 son.
:twisted:
next topic: what do i have against haikus anyway?
Horab Fibslager
had a bad experience
with haikus one day
next topic: Jesus thinks you're a jerk
horab stared at jesus many a night
until one day jesus said
"what the fuck man, wanna fight?"
next topic: granola bars
granola bars are
crunchy. Granola girls are
smelly but sexy!
Next Topic: Why all Paladins are pansy dupes
Quote from: Donkeyotaygranola bars are
crunchy. Granola girls are
smelly but sexy!
Next Topic: Why all Paladins are pansy dupes
Hey, you paladin
fucktards of goat nad scorn heat
stop that this instant!
next topic: monkey spooge yogurt elevators
Love monkeys in the
lift. I smell yogurt i must
be in Las Vegas
Next Topic: eating the floor
Quote from: DonkeyotayLove monkeys in the
lift. I smell yogurt i must
be in Las Vegas
Next Topic: eating the floor
Ain't no fucking sweat
the floor is there and I eat
all of it, drunkly.
Next topic: Hotels in downtown Des Moines
Are there actually
Hotels in Des Moines? Who would
Really want to stay?
Up next: Retrocessional orbits of imaginary moons
This poem, like the moon
Is not real, and neither is
it orbiting there.
Next topic : The burnt stinky stuff on your stove burners after cooking.
No honey, dinners safe
just spilled crap on the stove
open the windows!
Next topic: Punkadelic man!
potato and rice
pasta, lentils and split peas
over 6 months old
next: garden fresh tomatoes
mmmm, todya's dinner
I'm going to eat
garden fresh tomatos
next topic: bass guitar
I love my four strings
bass players have the biggest
penises ya know! :twisted:
Next Topic: ACH! I missed my flight!
an hour early
checked my luggage and myself
profile this, bitch. ..|.,
next:the hardware store doens't have a saw, or a clue.
You, vested jerkoff,
Are not worthy to hand me
Such a sharp object.
When I ask for "saw,"
Kindly fetch it for me, then
climb up your own arse.
Next: The smell coming from the litterbox
stinky, smelly poop
is not good for eating with
out any mayo
Next Topic: why Bella should move to Chicago
fuck chicago
calgary has mountains
i need a druninkin buddy
next: eric is a nub.
eric is a nub
a false statement it is
horab is drunk now
Next Haiku: Black Mage and White Mage getting it on
stfu nuib.
Black Mage is Smelly
White Mage just can't stand the dude
Black Mage will be sad
Next topic: pepper-flavored chips in limbo
I set my chips down
in the place between Heaven
and Hell...mmm, spicy!
Next: lather, rinse, repeat.
lather rinse repeat
over and over and over
same shit, diffrent day
next topic = salt in your eye
ahh mister sparkle
please cleanse me with your frothing
bubble my soul clean
-mK
Karma Manager
You can manage my karma
All night long (and day)
-mK
how will our riffy
responde to this sweet hiku
has he found true love?
next topic =
Mawwage is tha forss that bwings us togewer today
and wuv
twhoooooooo wuv....
Mawwage ith a dweam
Within a dweam, it ith what
Bwingth uth together...
Next topic: The worst ringtone in the world
Quote from: Malaullather rinse repeat
over and over and over
same shit, diffrent day
next topic = salt in your eye
What did mother say?
"Always put salt in your eye."
Kids in the Hall rock.
Up next: Peaches. And sodomy.
Peaches are peachy
Like a goat shaft is peachy
Peaches and cream, yeah?
Next topic: Eric versus Horab
this one should be fun
I wonder what I should say
this is a tough one....
eric vs horab
for real this time...
(I don't even know who these guys are)
Eric and Horab
Poked each other in the eyes
And then they both cried.
Eric drew Horab
To him in a soft embrace
And then bit his face.
Horab held Eric
Bared his fangs in Eric's vein
Drinking in his pain.
No doubt Horab would win
Eric has negative skillz
whilst Horab is l337
next topic: haikus
This disk controller
Cannot rebuild the array
Say goodbye, data
Quote from: HotsumaNo doubt Horab would win
Eric has negative skillz
whilst Horab is l337
next topic: haikus
yer damned right. i'v eben getign 2-3:1 ratios(and better) all week, and then i opened a little box of w00t! called star wars battlefronts,and well, let's jsut say i killed luke skywalker yesterday.
Here's five syllables
And now here are seven more
Oh, look, five again!
Next topic: The day is saved, thanks to....
Punkadelic is
like an archangel thru the
dark angles. No fear.
Next Topic: Chai Tea or Tai Chi?
Chai tea or tai chi
They will both make you relaxed
But one takes more work
Next topic - Why you wan't to bring the apocolypse.
There comes a time when
People are too dumb to live
And they ought to stop.
Next topic: The one who turned you inside out
"Upside down, boy you
Turn me inside out and round
And round...." Thanks, Donna!
Comin up: mail fraud
You do not live here
UPS will come for you
there is no escape
Next Topic............
Underwear
Ive got no shower
And no matter what you think
That aint underwear....
Next topic: Snow
the donner party
ate human flesh and also
ate snow as custard
next topic: I't's not Bacon, It's faken
Crispy bits of flesh,
I shake the jar, take a whiff!
Oh, nasty-It's soy!
Next: the bungee jumping congressman
Cousin Orrin falls.
Bounces back, weaves to and fro.
Business as usual.
Next Topic: Day of Atonement
On atonement day
I am who am you are me
As one we pee pee
Next topic: Oui oui
What is that you have
Down in your trousers, Frenchman?
Ah, it's your "oui oui!"
Next topic: what you want to see on november third
On November third
I just hope there are tickets
To Canada left!
Next topic: It fell off the back of a truck
All those many eyes
Still the potato did not
See the road in time
next topic: a room without a door
They welded it shut
With intent to reconcile
His murderous ways.
next topic: misused gardening tools
She was such a ho:
She found an interesting
New use for a hoe.
Netx happening: Andy Warhol's gunshot wound.
performance art rocks.
and mass produced Crap does too.
But I missed the heart.
NT: ST:TNG
resistance is futile!
will riker hero pose!
make it so!
next: fate and pianos which fall from the sky.
Stop to tie my shoe
A mover trying to say
"Look out you damn fool"
Next one- Greyface ponders existentialism
Life is so very short
What is the point in living
snuffit now, beat the rush.
Next: scented candles meet their doom
I have filled my room
With scent of vanilla and peach
The wax burns my nips
8)
Next topic: Gum in your hair
You take aim and throw
Sticky wads in my tresses
I'm going to kill you
next: the noises a house makes late at night
Quote from: agent compassionYou take aim and throw
Sticky wads in my tresses
I'm going to kill you
next: the noises a house makes late at night
Creaking and squeaking
something's on the roof again
that came from the hall!
What's the next prompt?
this is the new prompt:
A career doing something
that makes you happy.
Killing the Kittens
Not for everyone
i love it, i do.
Next: Eric is a sad, depraved little boy.
Oh, Hotsuma's Bitch
Misguided by god of Krynn
Remember the Kingpriest
next topic: Indigestion
8)
The Gods' Stomach Woes
The Kingpriest was the cause of.
Mountain on head, Guys!
Next Topic: Destroy all Robots
i am the pusher robot
i am here to protect you from the terrible secret of space
you will be protected from teh terrible secret of space.
next: start trek and self love.
Oh, Doctor Crusher
Probe me with your tricorder
As I soil myself
8)
Next topic: too much curry
It burned like hellfire
And poured like a waterfall
I hate beef curry
Next topic- Armageddon and cockroaches
HAPPY CUCKARACHA DAY!
karoake apocalypse now
in battle there can be no compassion or mercy, only victory.
next. well whatever nevermind.
Nirvana wasn't
Known for supurb bass playing.
But, the checks still clear.
Lanes are cleared for: Emotional Brutality
They told me love hurts,
But I never figured on
Multiple fractures.
On deck: Guacamole
Avocado paste
Mmm, in a cup with a straw
my weight in gallons
Next dog shank burrito: Foaming at the brain
Dog shank burrito?
you are foaming at the brain!
Burrito, indeed!
How about: the concept of Universe being one huge episode of "punked."
Whassat? I don't get cable.
Hah hah you sucker!
The universe still chuckles
at its own bad jokes
Next topic: phone calls, unwanted
Dial star-six-nine
And catch that sonuvabitch
What called during sex
Next...
Megaman characters at a pub
Whassat? I don't get ... whatever that is....
Boy, YOU musta lead a sheltered life. You don't know what Megaman is?? :roll:
Megaman showed up
At a shelter down the street
Turned 'way 'cause not real.
Next: Lincoln, Nebraska
Quote from: gnimbleyMegaman showed up
At a shelter down the street
Turned 'way 'cause not real.
Next: Lincoln, Nebraska
He is real. Just wait a decade or two.
Lincoln, Nebraska
What a worthless fucking place
Even worse than Omaha
8)
next topic: huffing spray-paint
if you think that's cool,
this will get you really high:
it's called "trepanation".
How about: trepanation
Quote from: Freakazoid!Quote from: gnimbleyMegaman showed up
At a shelter down the street
Turned 'way 'cause not real.
Next: Lincoln, Nebraska
He is real. Just wait a decade or two.
Well, real in the sense that he exists as a physical entity? I know somebody who thinks he's a god. Because Megaman's nicer.
Hand me the trepan...
Oh my word, it's full of goo!
I just won a bet. 8)
Let's try... What monks do for fun?
Monks are coming out
leaving issue all about
staining the curtains
Next topic: Hamstrung goats
Quote from: Big Cat FelixQuote from: Freakazoid!Quote from: gnimbleyMegaman showed up
At a shelter down the street
Turned 'way 'cause not real.
Next: Lincoln, Nebraska
He is real. Just wait a decade or two.
Well, real in the sense that he exists as a physical entity? I know somebody who thinks he's a god. Because Megaman's nicer.
Hand me the trepan...
Oh my word, it's full of goo!
I just won a bet. 8)
Let's try... What monks do for fun?
Duh.
If I'm Rockman X... then... oh, Nutbunnies.
you cut me at the knees
That's the only thing saving you from
my horns in your ass
8)
next topic: anaphylactic shock
Look! A pretty wasp.
Does it wants to play with me?
Ow! Son of a-- *thud*
I picked: paper cuts
Goddamn copy machine!
Flings paper at my trachea
Severs my carotid
how about: moles. the facial kind, not the small mammals...
I saw a mole once
Walking down the street, I think
It was some model's.
Next: edible panties
edible panties
taste as good as money from
plumbing toilets
Next topic: gas
So I farted in bed
And my girlfriend disappeared
As she lit her cig
next topic: the religious right is neither. discuss...
Fuck Ralph Reed in
His puckered, self-righteous ass
Un-christian bastard...
on deck: my toenails need clipping
8)
Ode to the Toe Jam:
snip snip snip snip snip snip snip;
I cut off your homes.
Next: hermits and mermaids
The hermit quota
Has been reached in the forest.
Go live in the sea.
Up next on the 10 O'Clock News: music
There is only God.
Your Eris does not exist.
Praise be unto Him.
listen, assclown, if you're gonna post, at least try to observe the guidelines of the forum...your little poem was completely not topical to the last prompt, nor did you leave a prompt for anyone else...I don't begrudge you your asinine, regressive opinions, but do try to have a little courtesy for us heathen infidels.... 8)
next topic: Graud is a Jerk-off...
You, Turd Ferguson,
Will burn in eternal Hell.
Your barbs are fruitless.
Topic: The Glory of God.
Can't the creators of this board even get something simple as an automatic log-in correct?
glory be to god
gives me a great excuse to
rape and kill heretics
8)
next topic: Cross-country trip on the Greyhound bus....
Since when do you need
A ticket to ride the bus?
It used to be free.
Next: The hotness of Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart is hot
Wicked, wicked, wicked hot
I wish I was gay
8)
next topic: assclowns who hog the haiku forum....
Quote from: Graud the GreyfaceCan't the creators of this board even get something simple as an automatic log-in correct?
they do. your compter just can't handle cookies.
yeah i dunno why ppl have that problem. my old box didn't have that problem. not with ie or opera.and my old box ate chunks for dinner.
am I an assclown
for hogging the haiku thread?
it's all for Hotsuma
next topic: redneck dinner theater
8)
Nuked pork a la carte
With gravy and mashed taters
'Cuz we're outta rat.
Next topick: Poor olde Tom's almanack; bloopers thereof.
Olde tom's Almanac
Said "sunny and 75"
I'm ass-deep in snow
8)
on deck: Luke Skywalker was really a whiny pussy
Look! I'm a Jedi!
Where the fuck did my hand go?
You're not my father!
Topic - A fine line between clever & stupid
Beavis and Butthead
were clever, however I
know Bush is stupid.
Next topic: Halloween costumes
Dressing as a Go'uld
And shooting people with staffs
Gets you strange looks here
On deck: Christian Charities
Give them your money
And they'll go to the third world
To feed kids Bibles.
Next up: Anthony Stewart Head's head.
Anthony Head's head
is sold to Satan as the
Gates of Hell brainchild
Next Warning: A sobering lesson
Sober up too fast,
And run a terrible risk
of not being drunk.
Next: Paper cuts.
we already did
a haiku on paper cuts
I wrote it myself
8)
on deck: fuck patchouli!
Fuck patchouli oil.
It makes me very angry,
the smell of hippy.
Next- junkyard ghosts
On Halloween night
Ev'ry kid that steals my sweets
Goes to junkyard land.
Next: Eris is a bitch.
eris is a bitch
shattering the god's punch bowl
solace in hot dogs
next topic: sponge bob square pants
cooks crabby patties
lives in a pineapple house
never once gets laid
8)
coming soon: I drink sterno juice
Life of a hobo:
The only respite that's known...
squeeze the purple gel.
Comin' up: chronic back pain.
my back really hurts
doctor said "no more Oxy's!"
now I smoke the chronic
8)
on deck: I fell down the stairs this morning.
I just smoke'd the chronic
and then I lost my balance
my back really hurts.
How about: riots in Red Sox Nation
I always thought that
Riots were reserved for when
Your team LOST the game.
On deck: Pumpkin as a marital aid
oh, yeah, baby, there!
faster! harder! more more more!
peter peter who?
next up: typographical errors
I use the typos
to mask subversive agenda:
Horab Fibslager
8)
now showing: hillbilly haute-cuisine
Get me a beer, hun!
I got the catfish grillin';
You make the gravy.
Coming soon: Trick or treat
Halloween is here,
As is the election so,
choose your poison, sir
Next topic,
Eastern Europe moving towards a free market economy, and the hazards it faces in doing so.
Euros, wtf?
Who the hell dreamt this oneup?
Where my pounds, dammit!
Next tragedy: The unbearable lightness of being Roger
is roger so light?
i'm not interested in picking him up
you can giver all you want tho dude.
next: if iced tea is wrong i dont want to be right.
lipton, my hero
i'm sure i love your dogma
if not, go eat pork
next: wild turkey bourbon (the kickin' chicken)
Wild Turkey blows chunks.
Jack is not that much better.
Old Overholt Rye Whiskey!
How about: After an 86-year-old curse is broken, now what?
What is this feeling?
My team never won before,
All I know is pain.
Next: Hot sauce in your burrito
Hot salsa fries through
Dead burrito. Shouldn't have
mixed the acid in.
Next topic: LSD or battery acid?
what is this stuff here?
is it burning my synapses?
or burning my tongue?
8)
The Haiku Game runs
Forever and a day if
A hint is given.
Don't know what to write,
You need to tell me, damn you!
Else more crap like this.
Next up: The Delights Of Calculus
Long division sucked.
Pre-algebra blew my mind.
Calculus was worst.
Now, for your entertainment:
Game shows
my bad.
*ahem*...game shows...
I love SNL
But their funniest skit was
Celebrity Jeopardy
8)
wicked self-reference there, if anyone gets it...
next, on your local news: Cattle Mutilations!
Aliens or geeks?
Not as big as crop circles,
And less artistic.
Now for
Bullwinkle and Rocky
"Hey, Rocky! Watch me
pull a FNORD out of my hat!"
"that trick never works
8)
right backatcha with: Playboy: November '04: the girls of communist North Korea!
So, Turd Furgeson, you reveal your true identity at last - Sean Connery! :)
Ok, on to the haiku.
Here in Korea,
Everyone gets orgasms
And a free warhead.
Today's topic: Finger puppets
use finger puppets
for epic self-loving session
to simulate orgy
8)
next: tourette's syndrome is funny, dammit!
oh, and it was Burt Reynolds, not Sean Connery....
From out of nowhere -
"OW! God-damned son of a bitch!"
Now THAT'S funny.
Next up: drinking straws
They are long and stiff,
If you put your mouth on one,
you may have teh ghey.
Next topic,
How quantum physics abolished the notion of ether (not the drug, the substance that was thought to make up "space."
Space is a vacuum.
Queen Victioria can suck it!
Indubitably!
Next Topic: Roman Polanskis wife was murdered, and then he fled the country over a statutory rape charge.
We are the Mansons.
you like fucking little girls.
go make a movie.
what about: Bands you used to listen to in high school.
I wore a Tool shirt,
Six others were wearing it
I fucking hate Tool.
Next topic: The first three books of the Dune Trilogy.
The wind and the sand,
the people of the desert,
eyes blue like the sky.
next topic, the douglas adams trilogy.
Quote from: LazyElection coming
To the victor goes the spoils
Al Gore is homeless
apparently, you're too lazy to learn how to read...the way this works is: you write a haiku based on the topic the last person puts out there for you...then you put out a topic for the person after you....
8)
D. Adams Trilogy
better than Vogon poetry
but two books too long
on deck: the funny mushrooms
sorry, realized that after i posted it, now i've just gone and screwed everything up...
Quote from: Lazysorry, realized that after i posted it, now i've just gone and screwed everything up...
If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it.
that's OK...now I've gone and fixed it which is even worse...
8)
Lights, streaming colors;
A glimpse of the Universe
Thanks to some dried caps.
Next: bagels and cream cheese
I want some bagels
With creamy cheesy creamy
Cheesy cream cheese.
Next: It's a bird, it's a plane, it's -
superman's dead.
oh wait no he's not
staying dead has more impact, just ask chris reeves.
nt: heavily armed scientist vs space marine with a pistol.
marine got the plague
scientist dead in one shot
everybody dies
next: zephyr
God of the west wind
blows cool on this wary man
oh crap, a sandstorm.
Next topic: Hitlers first pet.
I had a puppy
but I sent him to auschwitz
had wrong color fur
8)
next up: drive-by shooting at the nursing home
Edmund regretted
missing Larissa's wedding
after the shooting.
nexsht toppick: judgement day in Vegas
On the fifth day
Sky over Vegas opened
And it rained Britneys.
On the fifth day
Sky over Vegas opened
And it rained Britneys.
Next topic: Toothpicks in your nether regions
toothpicks also used
for removing dingleberries;
let's hope teeth cleaned first
8)
next: Pat Robertson for President!
Theocracy RAH!
I will Nuke Foggy Bottom,
That will teach you libs.
Next: Revolution in Fat City.
Roger, Roger, Roger
Whatever have you done now?
well, my bags are packed...
8)
next: Rasputin goes for a swim
By my sable beard,
Russian water's far too cold!
Let's ice-skate instead.
Next topic: Dentistry under the influence of alcohol.
pulling teesh ish eashy
when you're shmashed on tuh-kee-la
now hold shtill, pleash...
8)
nesht tokip: dude, where's my czar?
Gin doesn't mix well
With laughing gas, so you should
Avoid inhaling the fumes
Up next, the most boring book written
Damn, took too long. Just ignore me
ignoring bobby
is easy for me to do
just put on some shades
next: how the west was won
Blasphemy I speak
Of Principal Discord
Her book is t.p.!
The West was won by
The White Man with the Big Stick
Keep walking injuns.
Next: Peewee Herman's next new gig.
Karl Rove drops dead,
Who will replace the fat tard?
Only one man. UNNNNNNNNNNNNGH!
Next topic: Lewis Carrol, but NOT anything having to do with Alice in Wonderland.
Through the Looking Glass
Is often mistaken for
The prequel to it.
Next topic, bad grammar
countra speakin
spellin my gramma 1337 is
step the fuck back
nt: back back ribs
Delicious meat-bits
Dripping with barbeque sauce.
Fallling off the bone.
Next topic: The "Duck-and-Cover" method of nuclear strike preparedness.
if i had an invicibility powerup
duck and cover might work
then all i would need is atomic sunglasses
nt: anythign you want as long as it includes at least one penis joke.
penis = funny
funny, funny penises
say "penis", I laugh
8)
nest nopic; toomUch Jaegermeist
Quote from: Bob the MediocreThrough the Looking Glass
Is often mistaken for
The prequel to it.
Next topic, bad grammar
YOU CHEATED!
....?
Agh! WHAT THE HELL?! Where is your AVATAR?! Dammit! I don't come to this board and post because I have something to say...I just come to check out your panties!
8)
Quote from: Turd FergusonAgh! WHAT THE HELL?! Where is your AVATAR?! Dammit! I don't come to this board and post because I have something to say...I just come to check out your panties!
8)
You could have downloaded it.
QuoteYOU CHEATED!
Did I?
I was going to mention Jabberwockey, but I remembered it was quoted in one of those.
Quote from: Bob the MediocreQuote from: Turd FergusonAgh! WHAT THE HELL?! Where is your AVATAR?! Dammit! I don't come to this board and post because I have something to say...I just come to check out your panties!
8)
You could have downloaded it.
QuoteYOU CHEATED!
Did I?
I was going to mention Jabberwockey, but I remembered it was quoted in one of those.
Snark Hunt would have worked.
the avatar's gone!
wonder what turd will do now?
unsexy cartoon.
next round: the flintstones.
you know you used to
argue over who was hotter:
Wilma or Betty?
8)
next up: haiku in l337!
Quote from: Turd FergusonAgh! WHAT THE HELL?! Where is your AVATAR?! Dammit! I don't come to this board and post because I have something to say...I just come to check out your panties!
8)
but but but
ITS FOAMY!
huggen an ESPRESSO machine
how is that not as sexy, if not MORE sexy, than my panties? :twisted: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xviithe avatar's gone!
wonder what turd will do now?
unsexy cartoon.
next round: the flintstones.
BUAHAHAHAHAAA :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Quote from: -+Malaul+-Quote from: Turd FergusonAgh! WHAT THE HELL?! Where is your AVATAR?! Dammit! I don't come to this board and post because I have something to say...I just come to check out your panties!
8)
but but but
ITS FOAMY!
huggen an ESPRESSO machine
how is that not as sexy, if not MORE sexy, than my panties? :twisted: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
looks like we're going to the booth for an instant replay....
and it looks like the refs have reached a decision....
"there was nothing in the replay to conclusively overturn the call on the field. call on the field stands, panties are sexier than animated rodents. 15 yard penalty on the Caffeinatrix, still 5th down!"
8)
[throws out the refs' ruling on the technicality that you don't ever fuck with a rabid caffeinated squirrel]
They were pretty sexy panties though.
ok then, since y'all like them so much, let's make that the next haiku topic.
Malaul's panties. Discuss.
did you ever see
that there is a face on me
you know you like it
next = how sexy foamy is
caffienated squirrel nipples
when i think about you
i touch myself.
nt: my jedi knight boxers are seksi too.
these are not the breifs
that you are lookin for my
young padiwon boy
next topic = purple monkey dishwashers
See my appliance!
So purple, and good at cleaning
My monkey's dishes!
Next: What did you do to your Sims? :shock:
i made my sim crazy
i made him burn down the house
his name was horab fibslager
he shagged the nieghbor's wife with no remorse.
nt: bad poetry that isn't haiku.
I know people love
Jewel's books of mopey verse,
But I think they're crap.
Next topic: wherefore art thou, romeo?
my 'rents picked my name
I'm what I am as I am
Because they just suck
Next: popeye the sailor man
I yam popeye the man
A sailor in garbage can
I burnt off my ass.
next:Grade school rhymes
milk, milk, lemonade
turn the corner, fudge is made
you all know the rest
8)
next topic: haiku in l337
7h15 15 my h41ku
4nd 1f y0u d0 n07 |1k3 17,
7h3n 60 fuck y0ur53|f.
N3x7 70p1c: C0w71pp1n6 15 7h3 3553nc3 0f 3c0n0m1c5.
Eric, eric, why
keep changing monikers, boy?
we all know it's you.
Next topic: Sam Peckinpah
I'm not Eric, whoever that is. I am the Bucket of Truth, and if you look in me, you will know unmitigated, unadulterated, immutable Truth. You've been warned.
:)
Quote from: bucket of truthI'm not Eric, whoever that is. I am the Bucket of Truth, and if you look in me, you will know unmitigated, unadulterated, immutable Truth. You've been warned.
:)
That's what Bush says, too.
No, Bush said he talks to Jesus on a daily basis. Which is fine, except that I just talked to Jesus yesterday, and he says he's never even heard of this George Bush person - either of them. And also he said that mankind needs to stop drawing him as a white guy with blue eyes and a mullet.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerNext topic: Sam Peckinpah
Samuel Peckinpah
Made movies I've never seen
IMDB rocks.
Next up: Smug senses of superiority
Quote from: bucket of truth
N3x7 70p1c: C0w71pp1n6 15 7h3 3553nc3 0f 3c0n0m1c5.
And when the cow sleeps,
you take advantage of it.
Just like Consumers.
Just wanted to get that one out of the way.
Next topic is still: smug senses of superiority
me, me, me, me, me
that describes me to a T
smug superiority
8)
on deck: bastard love child of Dubya and Janet Reno
Quote from: Turd Fergusonon deck: bastard love child of Dubya and Janet Reno
TALUFA YOU JERK,
GIVE ME BACK THA VAN, FATASS
NO NASCAR FOR YUO!
NEXT TOPIC: GETTING FREAKY WITH SANDRA DAY O'CONNOR
Quote from: ChefNEXT TOPIC: GETTING FREAKY WITH SANDRA DAY O'CONNOR
Bush pounds Sandy's box,
Hoping that her little death
Brings on the big one.
Up next: allergies
Once this bee bit Ted
And his hand swelled up real big.
Big hands mean big dicks.
Next topic: getting out of a bad relationship
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: bucket of truthI'm not Eric, whoever that is. I am the Bucket of Truth, and if you look in me, you will know unmitigated, unadulterated, immutable Truth. You've been warned.
:)
That's what Bush says, too.
I know and it's the weirdest thing too... I mean why would someone named George be walking around saying I'm not Eric?!?!?
I mean ok... he's not eric, but why say anything about it.
It's like watching two morons doing "the prince and the pauper"
Quote from: ChaosGraves:AgentOfErisQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: bucket of truthI'm not Eric, whoever that is. I am the Bucket of Truth, and if you look in me, you will know unmitigated, unadulterated, immutable Truth. You've been warned.
:)
That's what Bush says, too.
I know and it's the weirdest thing too... I mean why would someone named George be walking around saying I'm not Eric?!?!?
I mean ok... he's not eric, but why say anything about it.
It's like watching two morons doing "the prince and the pauper"
:roll:
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: ChaosGraves:AgentOfErisQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: bucket of truthI'm not Eric, whoever that is. I am the Bucket of Truth, and if you look in me, you will know unmitigated, unadulterated, immutable Truth. You've been warned.
:)
That's what Bush says, too.
I know and it's the weirdest thing too... I mean why would someone named George be walking around saying I'm not Eric?!?!?
I mean ok... he's not eric, but why say anything about it.
It's like watching two morons doing "the prince and the pauper"
at least i'm not posting in an attempt to get your approval.
:roll:
Bringing the convo
Back to the original
Point: this is haiku.
Next topic - paychecks
paycheck?! who ever
said you'd get paid for this shit?
now back to work, slave!
8)
coming attractions: the importance of being Ernest Borgnine
Glad that some one has the balls to preserve order arounmd here.
so anyway what makes this place great in my opinion is most peoples ability to accept minor deviations from the topic at hand...any input?
NO! NO TOPIC CHANGES ALLOWED!
THIS IS HAIKU!
GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*loses her mind*
Era loses it.
Everyone is so appalled!
What? There's a topic?
Next: Banning Roger for fun and profit.
oh, well then, haiku...
I like the stuff myself.
it's fun to write and so easy to do.
I mean they even give you a formula to do it with .
what can be easier.
It's almost as easy as staying on topic.
the matter at hand as it were.
haiku is great to listen to out loud and never ceases to entrtain me.
Anyone else have an thoughts on haiku?
Quote from: gnimbleyNext: Banning Roger for fun and profit.
He is a menace,
He should be run out of town,
Kill Roger Today.
Next topic: Gnimbley, with no rabbit to protect him.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: gnimbleyNext: Banning Roger for fun and profit.
He is a menace,
He should be run out of town,
Kill Roger Today.
Next topic: Gnimbley, with no rabbit to protect him.
I can't believe that gnimbly joked that roger should be baned especialy when he had no bunny to protect him
next: discordian free form haiku.
Quote from: ChaosGraves:AgentOfErisQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: gnimbleyNext: Banning Roger for fun and profit.
He is a menace,
He should be run out of town,
Kill Roger Today.
Next topic: Gnimbley, with no rabbit to protect him.
I can't believe that gnimbly joked that roger should be baned especialy when he had no bunny to protect him
next: discordian free form haiku.
http://www.frozenreality.co.uk/comic/bunny/strips/011104.gif
QuoteGlad that some one has the balls to preserve order arounmd here.
Order...yeah... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
QuoteI can't believe that gnimbly joked that roger should be baned especialy when he had no bunny to protect him
Bad pun! You die now! *stabbity stab*
Quote from: ChaosGraves:AgentOfErisnext: discordian free form haiku.
Too lazy to come up with
A way to make your point in only
17 syllables
and
3 lines?
Then have
we got the dada quasi-religion for you!
(Warning:
real haiku follows)
Let's all hail Eris
And when we're done doing that,
Hail Discordia.
Next Topic: Coming up next on Jerry Springer, celebrity guest star Bill Clinton!
ex-prez slick willy
"now let's bring out the girlfriend...."
jerry! jerry! jerry! yeah!
next up: molly ringwald
geeky, yet uber-hot
but why let anthony michael
hall sniff your panties?
8)
next: I swallowed tire sealant
A kiss and a hiss;
Why am I bloating up now?
Huh? I swallowed what?
Next - tattooed chicks
Punk chick inked her butt
With ten names of guys to fix
Her "EXIT ONLY" tat.
Next on the itenerary: The NSRA's next big move...
excuse me, but you're
not cleared for that information
so now we must kill you
8)
next: Britney vs. Christina
Christina Kicks Britney's
Cherry ass out of Iraq
And eats it herself.
Next: Iraq's decomposition.
depose ole' saddam!
sounds like a good idea...
decompose iraq
up next: mangrove loses the plot
How can you lose it?
It's a hole in the ground, right?
It doesn't have legs!
Next up: the pagan agenda
only thing worse than
America ruled by one god
is being ruled by twelve
8)
next: little. yellow. different.
he doesn't fly straight
best pal of that famous dog
for he is Woodstock
next: the joy of toast
Miss Mia Farrow
is not your average girl
Dad's little Princess.
Next topic: Rancid jokes about Woody Allen.
The only thing better
Than a yellow mouse is an
electric yellow mouse.
Next up: Bukkake!
OK...since you guys all were obviously answering mine at the same time, I get to choose...
what does Woody Allen
have in common with the tortoise?
both got there before the hare.
next: umm...might as well go with bukkake again....
8)
Quotewhat does Woody Allen
have in common with the tortoise?
both got there before the hare.
That's. Just. Wrong.
I love it.
:lol:
That reminds me of a joke:
An 80-year-old man from Moncton, went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old
bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins. "I
have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'.
Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do
you think of that?"
The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds
into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
Quote from: Larry the Cable GuyNow that's funny! I don' care who y'are, that's funny!
:lol:
What is Bukkake?
Is it a place in Russia
In Tom Brokaw's dreams?
Next up: A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, a chainsaw, and thou.
Eat, drink, be merry,
Watch out for the zombies though.
Here, take this chainsaw.
Up next, Dante's punishment for writing the Inferno
Dante will go through
Heckfire and darnation
Straight to Hellven.
Next: Discordia come judgment day...
Adam's on the right,
Discordia is behind
God with a grenade.
Next topic: Where does Spongebob pee?
he's underwater.
he pees in his squarepants, like
we all do in pools.
8)
next: finally, somebody loses an eye...
Ths s my haku
t sn't very long or good
Need to buy vowels.
Next up: Powerpuff girls in high school.
:lol:
snaps!
finally, somebody loses an eye...
aaaauuuuu,
eye is rolling
fork's falling on the floor
next one: your Sunday dinner
Home, Bangers and mash
TV Blairing, no leader
I lose will to eat
this is the haiku
thread in which it is polite
to prompt the next poster
8)
next up: X-mastime in the South Bronx
old borough of bronx
where the streets are paved with dronxs
yo! where's my present?
next: turkey
To join the EU
No more death for adultry--
You stop all our fun!
Next up: Gnomes and cookies.
There once was a gnome from Nantucket...
No no that's not it...
Now, big green cookie
Don't forget to run from gnomes
Gnimbly is evil.
Next: Time passeth
why do we measure?
enkidu, for 7 days
spent his time inside
next: a windy day in hades
hot wind but who cares?
Marilyn MonroeZeBub
is wearing that dress
next topic: I don't think so
Keep away from me
with that tract of intestine!
No, I don't think so.
Next topick: A vote counter/torture device
To count is to be
made into a paper ducksauce
I tortured the king
Next Topic:
Elder Gods Vs. Starbucks
Cthulhu eats all
yet even he will not consume
the foulness that is Starbucks
8)
next: Santa the Pederast
Seven little elves
sitting on Santa's lap alone
pantless and bouncing.
Next Topic: How to find the Meaning of Life in Iowa using a spoon and a goldfish.
I just cooked and shot
up my last bit of heroin
wait, where's my goldfish?
on deck: lighting the wrong end of a cigarette
the smoke is the same
but the high is different.
shit! lit the wrong end
next up: moose
A room with a moose!
More horrid than pure itching.
And then, the walnuts!
Take a swipe at: stupid robots in dog costumes.
Malaclypse Oughta
Order Some Erisians
We're running out.
[EDIT: FUCK. Beaten by one minute]
fetch, fetch, poodle dog
mans' best friend just zapped my brains
you are not fido
next: faithless grabby hands
New deli special
served with mustard sauce; fried
faithless grabby hands
Next: military probes
the truth is out there
hiding behind aliens
trust no one buddy
NT - dirty secrets
I've got a secret
it's in my dirty laundry pile
three pairs of manties
8)
Coming soon: I kicked a Salvation Army bell-ringer in the nuts.
Steal a tambourine!
The meaning of Christmas is,
"kick a ringer's balls!"
NT: polar bears
See them in the ads,
Drinking Coke at Christmas, those
Fuckin' polar bears.
Next up: I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
A white beard askew
Father is a ho ho ho
Therapy for life
Next: Granny's canning surprise
Thanks, Gramma! How sweet!
Spending months in the kitchen,
Making-- WHAT THE FUCK!?
Swipes at: Invader Zim vs Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Shake watches TV
While frylock tests ZIM on Carl
Meatwad has no wife
Next: Awful Christmas gift misunderstandings
what the fuck, santa?
I asked you for a big screen TV
but you gave me herpes!
8)
next up: The cheese doodle that ate Nashville
great cheese doodle looms
under the mason/dixon
no more country songs!
Next: twinkies
Creamy white filling
Soft spongy cake-like outside
Chuck Heston's boy toy
Next: I just got a fortune that says "A rolling scone gathers many hands." WTF does that mean?
coveted moments
untouchable as white smoke
only crumbs remain
Next, on DSPN: That point where you realise that no possible action you could take would actually matter.
Oh, a mushroom cloud?
I suppose that settles it.
Well, let's have a shag!
Next: What becomes of you, my love, when they have finally stripped you of the handbags and the gladrags that your granddad had to sweat so you could buy?
Naked, shivering,
Vulnerable in your skin,
Stripped of more than wealth.
Next: the Jackass midgets starring on the Maurie Povitch show.
Quote from: HoshikoI just got a fortune that says "A rolling scone gathers many hands." WTF does that mean?
The dining halls at UB are legendary for weird fortunes. "The world would be a better place without drugs," "Somebody [wants to be with you/can't wait to see you/loves your smile/wants to have your babies]," etc.
On a different note, my horoscope for next week is "Tuesday's Mercury-Pluto conjunction will reinforce your belief that you're the only one who knows what's going on. It may or may not be true, but it will do wonders for your confidence."
The Jackass Midgets?
I thought 'twas only Wee Man.
Still, they'd pwn skinheads.
Have a go with: Johnny Cash vs Willie Nelson
Era, I really like that one.
The red-headed wrath
The man in black's guitar smash
Country tragedy
Next: When the touch lamp stops working: a biography.
Bob, I told you that you had the curse of Cassandra.
Now, does that make you or me psychic?
P.S. Should I invest in gumball machines?
Born with a touch lamp
Regulating his bowels
Strange biography
Next topic: gumball machines invade New York
manhattan skyline.
confection robot of doom.
new jersey is next!
next: aleister crowley gets his own tv show.
Today's guest: Charo
Do what thou wilt, coochi poo
And damn the ratings
Next up: The fashion police meet Spongebob in the Spring
Quote from: HoshikoBob, I told you that you had the curse of Cassandra.
Now, does that make you or me psychic?
P.S. Should I invest in gumball machines?
Reply hazy, ask again later.
Remove the brown pants.
Does Heaven accept bad taste?
I think not Spongebob.
I don't know what I
Should write about next! Oh no
It's chaos in here.
up next on the 6 oclock news: The physics of sex
oh sex at light speed
it's not really very smart
it will burn your wang. (http://www.bol.ucla.edu/~johnmm/sexualphysics/)
next up: random sounds like that one snnoying song
wang wang bo-bang ba-
nana fanna mo mang me
my mo mang, wang. wang.
next topic: What light through yonder window breaks? 'Tis the east, and Juliet is the wang!
Oi! You Juliet!
Couldn't you have told me this
Before the sword fight?
Next: What the Keebler Elves are REALLY up to in that tree.
nothing like a tall
glass of milk to wash down the
cookies and sodomy
8)
next up: mistaking your stepmom's ass for a pomegranite
Fleshy red globes,
I wanted to taste them, but
She would have killed me.
Next up: There is no record of this item, if it was mailed only recently it is not in our system yet, try again later.
i bought a biscuit
it is not in their system
i want it in mine
next: biscuits
Biscuits are a form
Of fluffy white bread, damn you
Not a sweet cookie
Next: Why does the magic 8-ball lie to me when I love it so?
you shake and you shake!
it's always about you! you!
ask me how i am!
next: elvis on the grassy knoll
POW! POW! Oooh, bay-bee...
Teach you to grope Marilyn!
Thank you very much...
8)
next: Inbred Jed OD's on viagra
I took them pills, now
Somethin's wrong with my weiner
Hey Maw! Lookit this!
Next: While buying cheese at Albertson's you run into...
What the fuck is Al-
Bertson's? I don't know man I
Didn't do it. Man.
Next topic: Goats with necks like snakes
(Albertson's is a grocery store chain, btw.)
So I took my goat
And tied his neck in a knot
Now he walks funny.
Next topic: Warning, contents under pressure, may asplode if heated.
It was too damn cold
Heated up my shaving cream
Now my walls are white.
Up next: Why do cheesy James Bond type villians seem to be multiplying?
Two times two is...five?
How will I conquer the world
If I can't even do math?
Two times two is...five?
How will I conquer the world
If I can't even do math?
Up next: Pretty shiny battery, waiting to be drained by me
Unlike the bunny
Ashlee Simpson will soon be
Drained of all life force
Next: Silent film stars die, rebel. Film at 11.
From beyond the grave
Zombie Fatty Arbuckle
Comes to eat your brain.
Next up: Paris Hilton vs. Devil Squerrel
Devil Squirrel eats
Paris Hilton. No, wait, uh...
That sounds way too gross.
Do your worst to: 70's Blackspoitation movies and the transmission of a 68 Ford Thunderbird
Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xviiyou shake and you shake!
it's always about you! you!
ask me how i am!
next: elvis on the grassy knoll
HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAAA
Sweetback popped the clutch
and my bird's gears went cre-rack!
Nothing could be worse.
Next: The winter of our discontent
Quote from: MalaulQuote from: Pope T.Mangrove xviiyou shake and you shake!
it's always about you! you!
ask me how i am!
next: elvis on the grassy knoll
HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAAA
That was a good one, wasn't it.
Inauguration
The city should be shut down
By feet of icy snow
Next! Reality TV show: internet addicts forced to live on a tropical island
WTF island?
lol for great justice!!
die plz kthxbye.
Next topic: (acid) raindrops keep falling on my head
Hippies might rejoice,
But there is a problem here.
It's the brown acid.
Here ya go: Riding the subway after the bars have let out at 2:00 am.
Packed in like sardines,
Stench of beer and vomit - wait,
How is this diff'rent?
Next: cucumber-melon body wash
rub a dub dub rub
seven rabbis in a tub
melony fresh scent
Next: The Mouse Incident
Trans-substance machine.
I didn't hear the mouse in
here. Now I'm all ears.
nt: cybersex
Connected to my
Nervous channels of pleasure
She is really fake?
Next topic: Pinks
Pinks like the Commies?
Or Pinks like a Pinks Hot Dog?
Don't partake of buns.
Next Topic: Purples
Grape and lavender,
Violet, magenta, yes
Velvet smooth merlot.
Next up: Why you hate Wal-Mart
The paint on the seat
Of my toilet is melting
Damn cheap plastic crap!
(True story)
Next up, pornographic wallpaper
on my computer
or on my walls? either way,
sore wrists await me....
on deck: Bubba & Billy take Grandma to the rockabilly show
8)
She can't dance no more
It doesn't stop them trying
Twang! There goes her hip
Moving up on second base: The illegitimate love-children of Margaret Thatcher
ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!!!!
nothing grosser than "Mags" naked
birthing Reagan's kids
8)
next up: daily special at the Long Pig bar & grill
Brains are 2-for-1
Moonies and pop stars half price
CJD is free
Next: Snuffleuphagus storms the Hard Rock Cafe.
explode in splinters
a mammouth seeks the big bird
"where's my record deal!?"
next: the idiot i saw on the news tonight who managed to shoot himself through the mouth with a nail gun and NOT KNOW ABOUT IT UNTIL HE WENT TO THE HOSPITAL WITH A HEADACHE!
What an idiot
For suicide you need an
8 x 1" screw
Next: A disease you would LIKE to see the government develop.
Purple gas rises
Suddenly no one wants to
Watch celebrities.
Next: are you gonna eat that?
GEORGE CAN'T TALK,
SYPILLUS PWNS HIS OPIE ASS,
AMERICA OWNED!
NEXT TOPIC: TALUFA ON CRACK.
how about a pill
that causes tourette's syndrome?
that would be awesome!
8)
next up: Iron Chef Sakai vs. CHEF!
Quote from: That Communist Bastardnext up: Iron Chef Sakai vs. CHEF!
IRON CHEF IS A TARD,
OIL IN THE PASTA WATER,
OPIEZ DON'T KNOW SHIT.
NEXT TOPIC: SAMOAN WAR CLUBS, THE POOR NATION'S WMD.
What, we don't even
Get to see chairman's choice for
Theme ingredient?
Oh well, we all know
That Sakai totally kicked
Chef's sad, sorry wok
NEXT TOPIC: SAMOAN WAR CLUBS, THE POOR NATION'S WMD.
samoan war clubs
are pretty damned useless since
their ballistics suck
8)
next: the bastard love child of Oscar Wilde and Iosef Stalin
In the queue for hell
I have nothing to declare
But insanity
Next up: The last words of George W Bush
I thought we would find
Weapons of mass destruction
What the fuck happened
Next up: the last words of Sadam Hussein
I thought we would use
weapons of mass destruction
what the fuck happened?
8)
on deck: the socioeconomic repercussions of the tamagotchi craze
I will always wish
That I could clean my poop with
One small, cheap, button
Next: A CIA agent in love
Pedero, best. poop haiku. ever!
A giggle, a sigh
Cheap fake mustache and secrets
But don't use my pen!
Next: Oragami for Inmates 101
fold over like this
and insert this tab in here
voila! paper shiv!
8)
coming soon: the going price for a blumpkin
Oh christ, one more thing
I did not want to look up
While eating breakfast
Next: where's the barf smiley when you need it?
Google it you'll find
Barfing Smileys in forums
Locker Gnome is weird
(http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/prank/repuke.gif)
Next:pleasant dining conversation
edit:smiley went kablooy, here's one just as good
Please pass the suck soup
Hasn't the weather been nice?
Suck soup needs more salt
And now for something completely different: Pirates
Pirate's life for me
(http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/misc/patch.gif)
Mateys and wenches galore
(http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/misc/patch.gif)
Scurvy really sucks
(http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/misc/patch.gif)
Now for something a little different:lumberjacks
I'm a lumberjack
I sleep all night, work all day
goddamn spotted owls
next: moonshiners
it tastes like burning
beyond drunk, now I've gone blind
sure beats sterno juice
8)
sink your teeth into: grandpa's dentures, little Billy's mouth
The teeth wouldn't fit
So I used contact cement
Now I can bite dad!
Next up: I am Bender, please insert girder
So predictable
Bite my shiny metal ass
Yes, and lose your teeth
The baton is posted on to: Jabba The Hutt's nearest liqour store
Ho ho, boshuda!
Carbonite keeps beer real cold!
Attracts smugglers, though.
Next: Where'd the cheese go?
I had stolen cheese
The fat man madly shouted,
"Where'd the cheese go?"
Next: Why a question mark looks like a hook.
asking a question
similar to flyfishing
a hook in my eye
next: zealous zebras
black and white zebras!
unite against the infidel
white and black zebras
8)
hit me with it: oops, I wiped with poison oak!
itchy scratchy fun
ass on fire, not the first time
walk it off sissy
next up: picnic on the grassy knoll
I was sitting there
The next thing I knew his brains
Were on the pink dress
Next up:pointy haired boss
Hmm, what to say now?
I have only had bosses
With giant butt-heads
Next: Why don't you like violence? It raised you, mister!
I don't like violence
keep asking me why not and
I'll kick your ass, dude!
8)
next: Mutiny on the Love Boat
Exciting and new
The "mermaids" draw their weapons
Take no prisoners
Next: No fruit cup for you!
squirrel master's bitch
safe from nasty nate's lusting
coctail fruit rests well
next: kangaroo boxing
I think it's just cute
I can't imagine why I'd-
OH, GOD it kicks hard
next: autistic romance
He keeps on saying
I'm a very good driver
Not in the backseat
Next:Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina(from Kindergarten Cop)
Boys have a penis,
girls have a vagina (from
Kindergarten Cop)
NT - how to kill, skin and debone a human in under 5 seconds
Quote from: MalaulBoys have a penis,
girls have a vagina (from
Kindergarten Cop)
I can't fucking believe I did that. If I had tried on purpose I couldn't have. At first I though you were fucking with me. (http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/happy/dance.gif)
Take out your K-Bar
Sneak up on a moron with
your feinds, hack away
I meant friends, but the typo works.
Next:Marines and hand to hand
gonads and strife
shooting on all the walls
a mess of stainery and strategery
handjobbery and jihad bombers
few and proud and dead
(Discordian Haiku have no rules, foo!)
Next topic: Cattle masturbators
Moo mooo mooo mooo moo
Moo moo milkshake moo moo mooooo
Moooooooo, mu
Next: Why is Hugh such a cheater?
:wink:
Hugh is a cheater
because he drinks tequila
and brushes his teeth with whiskey and tobacco
He hates greys and little fairy-like posters
and Hails Eris almost every other day.
Next topic: Why is Hoshiko such a haiku nazi?
Hugh is just jealous
Because unlike Hoshiko
He's got no pussy
:D
Next: The case for accusing Hugh of being Aini
He says he hates her
She says he changes her posts
Either way she's gone
Next:Celtic Americans
Hugh is not Celtic
But he pretends that he is
For the Guinness Pie
Next: Why Hugh uses the bumpers when bowling :mrgreen:
Hugh has gone Bowling
He just cannot bowl a strike
Gutterballs only
Next:Rev Rog on a roll
oh oh oh yes there
I love the feel of E ahhhh
I am onna roll
next - why rog needs to get laid
Quote from: Malaulnext - why rog needs to get laid
*ahem*
[beatbox]
All my rants are free,
I don't have to be paid,
Just find me a female,
So I can get laid
[/beatbox]
So it's a (short) rap, not a haiku. Sue me.
Next topic: suing rog
you, sir, have on occasion
caused me to soil my carpets unnecessarily with hilarity and aggravation
I'll see you in court!
8)
on deck: moral relativism vs. fortune cookie platitudes
Never take advice
From a talking piece of shit
The cookie's smarter
Next up: The chained pen at the bank teller's desk
Hey, Agent Compassion!
Why the sudden hostility towards me?
should I be hated for my opinions?
8)
next: why does everyone have sand in their vaginas?
You're a hypocrite
And also disrespectful
In your debate style.
Next: Why white chocolate will always be inferior to dark chocolate.
that puts me in good
company in these forums
or are you above all that?
8)
next up: namecalling: last resort of the intellectually beaten?
Talk to me again
When you learn a few new tricks
And get toilet trained.
8)
You can dish it out
But taking it is harder
Aww, I'm so sad -NOT!
oh, shit!
no, I mean it literally, since
I forgot how to go potty!
8)
next up: I'm not the one getting all worked up over what some yahoo on the interweb said....
children, children, please
can't we all just get along?
I mean really. Jeez!
ha it even rhymes!
hauiku is too damn easy
I did it two times!
next:
Why is it so hard
to look someone in the eye
while you trash their yard?
(3 times!)
Quote from: Rev. Chicken Deliciouschildren, children, please
can't we all just get along?
Nope.
that was only one syllable.
Quote from: Rev. Chicken Deliciousthat was only one syllable.
Yup.
Monosyllabic slackjawed troglodite!
Quote from: he who blows goatsI'm not the one getting all worked up over what some yahoo on the interweb said....
Sure you're not.....that's why you're only asking me in *two different topics* why I'm mad at ya....if you were so tough you wouldn't even be asking....
8)
game, set, match, PWNED.
Quote from: Rev. Chicken DeliciousMonosyllabic slackjawed troglodite!
Troof.
can we please get back
to writing haiku instead
of just shit-talking?
::flings poo at the next poster::
next up:
you've got shit on your face.
AgComp: I only asked
why you were mad at me because
I was curious, not because I gave a rat-fuck.
8)
next: why do people think they've pwned something that was never a competition?
everything is competition
n00b
the sound of 10,000 n00blars being pwned.
next: teh w00t! strikes back!
at least teh w00t!
is not teh total and utter ghey
as are n00b and haxor
8)
next: ass-pennies on wall street
Everyone wondered
What that new company was
With code "UCB"
Next: tea in a box? blasphemy, i say!
tea comes from a bag
bag and water in a cup
boxes are for jerks
next up:
the worlds smallest dog
BUT SERIOUSLY, NOW, FOLKS ...
Written In The Spirit by Rev. Ivan Stang
"Having three flat tires in one day, oh, yeah, that's HELL !"
-- Hypercleasians 14:6.
"The only ones who have a right to live are those not yet born."
-- Yossarian, Rio Bisbee Band
"NONE ARE SO BLIND AS THOSE WHO HAVE NO EYES."
-- Philo the Essene.
I am the proud owner of two little kids, both old enough to read, yet young enough still to believe in Santa Claus. It irks me that I can't tell them certain things, but it almost shames me to have to tell them other things at all. The monstrous truth about Santa Claus, they don't need to know. But one day, I had to warn them about certain grownups who were so twisted by their own messed-up parents that they want to "do bad things to you." Breaking such news to a child feels awful -- and it's chilling to think what they're prompted to imagine about the world, no matter how you soften it in the telling.
But I couldn't bring myself to tell them about The Bomb...or about The Germ, or The Gas. I know what would happen if my kids started thinking about those all the time: they'd end up like me. Throughout high school I was dead sure the future would see us back in the caves. As Einstein, or somebody, once said, "I don't know what World War III will be fought with, but the one after that will be fought with sticks and stones."
And now, we don't even have that to look forward to. There would be nothing. NOTHING LEFT if the Big Mistake happened. (Incidentally, my children figured that out for themselves, without my having to say anything. Between TV cartoons, news, and overheard conversations, they were able to put two and two together before First Grade. You'll be glad to know they have adjusted better than I ever did.)
Most people can't really conceive of worldwide extinction of all higher life forms; they have a lot of trouble, for that matter, conceptualizing so much as a rape or a car wreck, at least until it happens to them. "Positive thinking" and escape into affluent isolation have become so socially desirable that the idea of preparing for the worst is seen as a bad habit indulged only by survivalists and other 'kooks.' To most Americans, a 'big mistake' is forgetting to, say, photocopy that textiles contract before the board meeting, or burning the roast when guests are coming for dinner. They won't build themselves a fallout shelter, yet they'll donate to save the whales.
Most human beings have no idea how real they are -- nor how smart, for that matter; yet, at the same time, they grossly underestimate their own stupidity! They could permanently wreck the planet for the rest of us simply by not giving themselves enough credit. (And if they distrust themselves so much, think how much they distrust you!) They assume they wouldn't be good enough at anything important to take a stab at it -- and in all too few cases, they're right -- so they cling to the safe and the meaningless. They wish everyone else would, too. When someone tries to warn them of a danger of which they weren't already aware, they take it as an insult.
"If they all thought they were as great as I think I am, everybody'd get along just fine -- even though they'd all be wrong!"
-- "Bob" Dobbs to a Sunday School class in 1955.
How much do you tell your kids about the future? About polution, about overpopulation, and war and crime, and where the statistics point? When does it stop training them for survival, and start making them suicidal?
How much can you afford, psychologically, to tell yourself?
People tend to take things for granted, to forget how useful their MINDS are. Unfortunately, that's one of those processes which snowballs, and by which privileged people, given every opportunity to become self-reliant, nevertheless degenerate into big pink crybabies. If people are less alive than they used to be, it's only because, for them, there's less to being alive. The line between life and death can become blurred and indistinct. A truly dedicated worker can keep making an income, or cooking dinner for the family, long after his or her mind is dead. Any belief in life after death should include the hideous plausibility of becoming a sick, invisible ghost that keeps shuffling back to the office or the kitchen. What else happens to people whose instincts are so ruined that they can no longer differentiate between the so-called "Light" and the so-called "Darkness?" Might not that "Light" thing, that ALIVENESS, get overdrawn just as easily as its checking account?
It's all too easy for us to desoul ourselves by overdoing just what we thought might save us -- work, drugs, religion, etc. We continue to calculate, but we cease to feel. We wreck the very instincts that are necessary for maintaining that state between self-lobotomizing lethargy and neurotic burn-out.
People are compelled to "own" more and more things, which would be fine, but constant gain becomes a sick compulsion that can scrambles anyone's ability to distinguish between LIFE and THINGS at all. They forget that they're animals, and start playing dangerous games with their own bodies and with all of nature. It's fine to learn by experimenting; a child usually has to get burned a time or two before it learns to take its parents' advice about the kitchen stove. It's just that this time, the "stove" is 50,000 nuclear warheads and unimaginable germ warfare viruses. We only get to 'try' it once.
It's just a damn shame: snuffing all life except lichens and deep-sea heat vent worms is EASY, whereas feeding humanity is HARD WORK. No use crying over spilt milk; but that doesn't mean it's okay to spill that plutonium!
Human brains can be terrifying to examine closely, especially by their owners. Ordinary people, conditioned to limits on every hand in the real world, become so scared of the immensity of their own brains, of the obvious fact that the inside is so much bigger than the outside, that they routinely run absolutely insane risks. Their desparation then requires all manner of half-assed justifications, and ineffectual but (more importantly) simple formulas by which to remain uninformed -- avoiding the complexities of their responsibility for themselves. Driving to work on the expressway, for instance: how often do we concretely visualize what we're doing then? Can we realize that we're little wads of delicate meat, crouched inside flimsy tin cans, hurtling along at incredible speeds with death no farther away than the next driver's last mixed drink?
We see this chronic denial also in the differences between "religions" and "cults." A religion exerts itself in improving psychological and physical conditions within it and without it; a cult just keeps jacking itself off, though it might go through the motions of 'food outreaches,' etc. *Most so-called Christians aren't religious; they're cultists. So are most SubGeniuses!
America is a cult. We are cult zombies. If the ruling elite can get away so easily with dumping unimaginable quantities of poison into our air and water, meanwhile witholding safer technology because they don't currently sell it, how is that any different from Jim Jones telling 900 people to commit suicide? In both cases, the zombies do what the cult leader says. The Rev. Jim Jones was simply more honest about what he demanded from his devotees.
The function of religion is to circumvent that creeping acceptance of hopelessness, to constantly remind you how alive you indeed are, so that the logical, practical side of yourself can't keep hammering you down. You're being hammered at from all sides -- including the inside -- but as long as you know what's going on, you can HAMMER BACK.
If life was easy, everybody would be living it. But it isn't, so some die instead. Many of our more brainy citizens kill themselves. The more a person knows, the tougher it is to maintain a sense of balance and fairness in the universe; the inventive mind is tormented by visions of how much better things might have been. On the other hand, common sense -- particularly the common sense of humor -- can reveal a sustaining beauty, and a level of meaning (even if only imagined!) that makes life just as much more fun as it is more threatening.
Sadly, such an outlook is incomprehensible to the self-desensitized. If you're of a minority religion, or race, or sexual proclivity, or even business, then you have probably clashed with people who seem to oppose you -- but won't come out and admit it -- for absolutely no reason at all. Hopefully, you realized that such people are simply jealous of your ability to make the best of a bad situation. They want you to be as unlucky as they are. Otherwise, their entire world view wouldn't make sense. Religions are particularly easy to warp into disguises for jealousy, justifications for hate. In modern America, a "Christian" preacher can make himself very rich by acting as the carrier of some contagious neurosis, some form of mental illness in which followers can hide from their own shortcomings.
Being informed, knowing better, doesn't always help. "Expanded consciousness," if it's the real thing, should go hand in hand with an awful realization of responsibility. But we've all had 'hip' friends who drank enough beer every night to nourish a tribe of Ethiopians for a week -- and who put enough up their noses in a day to buy vaccinations for half of Kenya. There are literally millions of people starving to death right now, and we "aware" people of the developed nations are the only ones who can really do very much about it; we talk or sing about it eloquently before blowing it off. We remember our rights, but forget our responsibility as... well, as the only responsible life forms. A tough responsibility? It isn't half as tough as watching your whole family starve to death because there is no food for miles around.
Everyone has a right, even a duty, to enjoy themselves. However, to a man getting off a hard day's work, having fun means ignoring those who aren't -- just as those who possess no sense of humor automatically dislike those who do. Indeed, fun for many people requires seeing others in misery. Until work and fun are no longer opposites, this won't change. Work must become more meaningful for fun to become less an act of desparation; only then will the semi-leisured class (such as those who found themselves reading this) be able to appreciate what leisure they have. When that happens, the jealousies will evaporate and people will want to share.
We can probably look for this to happen in, say, ten thousand years.
In the meantime, a minority of the two-legged animals will be stuck with keeping the whole chain of life intact, almost despite the wishes of the rest of the two-legged animals. Since two-legged animals are by far the most dangerous creatures on the planet, this may prove to be a risky job!
And it really is all life. All. That's how high the stakes have risen on the nuclear gameboard. We are actually placated by movies like ROAD WARRIOR, or even PLANET OF THE APES; such popular post-holocaust fantasies may turn out to be 'best possible" scenarios! Those nasty, low-tech caveman future worlds might come about without any wars; at least they're inhabited worlds! The real post-nuke landscape wouldn't support such exciting luxuries as roving bands of bloodthirsty killers or mutated monsters.
The chain of life is astoundingly adaptable, but frighteningly fragile at the same time. Like a delicate glass ball, it's easy to break, and easy not to break. We've already racked up quite a bill on our ecological charge-card, but our kids and grandkids are the ones who'll have to pay up. Evolution proves every day that it's a blind machine, without sympathy or aesthetic sense, that will snuff us out automatically if we blow it. There was at least one other race of humanoid bipeds not so long ago; remember the Neanderthals? Guess who exterminated them? (And we did it without even one nuclear device!* )
If we do screw up, in the BIG way, it won't be just a couple of the big-league countries -- it'll be everybody. Extinction is just as hard on an innocent baby or a cute little bunny as it is on a murderous asshole. Ask any dinosaur, or any Mandan Indian.
We well-fed people have a dream: the dream of acquiring MORE CRAP for LESS WORK. The rest of the world -- the other three-quarters of it -- has a dream too: the dream of enough to eat. The hungry ones surround us on all sides; they live right down the street, in fact. We, and the wretched, and the normals who couldn't care less, are all in the same rickety little boat together, in a cold, cold sea. And someone is fooling around with that little PLUG at the bottom of the boat. Our leaders act like they don't even believe that plug is there; obviously, NOBODY is giving us "instructions." We have to figure this situation out for ourselves. And we'd better do it fast, just to be on the safe side.
Nor will God help us. That's right, NO BIG MAN IN THE SKY WILL SAVE US.* We smartypants bipeds chose to take it upon ourselves, to take it out of "God's" hands. We have the ball ... now where do we run with it? Do we run with it at all?
Having the responsibility also means we have choices.
For all intents and purposes, WE are "God" now... yet some talk about a "nuclear judgement" as if it had been decreed for our own good. Someone in THIS life might beat you up or throw you in jail for your sins, but it won't be God. If there is a nuclear judgement, it'll be OUR fault alone.
No "church" will save you either, especially not the SubGenius Church. However, we would at least encourage you to SAVE YOURSELF, which is better than most religions can say. What are we saying you should do? Well, we know, but, just to be assholes, WE WON'T TELL YOU. That would be cheating! It's between you and "Bob" and Mom and apple pie.
It isn't just the prospect of an irreversibly contaminated foodchain that should worry you, either. It's the thought of what the pissed-off ELDER GODS will do to our ETERNAL SOULS as PUNISHMENT for stupidly ruining Their expensive chessboard, Earth.
There's not a whole hell of a lot that any of us CAN do with any major, immediate results. Violence and saboutage? That's exactly like using a knife to attack a man with a machine gun. The Bomb, and starvation, and etc., are here to stay until people change not just the way they think, but what they think about.
Any lone person -- even you -- can aid and abett that process by becoming one more voice howling in the wilderness, or howling from atop a carhood in the city, or howling on a radio talk show... or in conversation with a friend. We must howl in all our different ways. It can make a difference: 2,000 years ago, Christianity started out as a couple of maniacs ranting in the desert, and look how far it's come!
On second thought, forget that example.
I, or any subversive character like me, will gladly tell you to do something... but we sure as hell aren't going to try to tell you what. The ruling class, however, tells you exactly what to do, every chance they get.
(Notice a difference?)
It's easy to do what they want; they desire but one simple thing from you. They'll let you have anything you want, if you'll just do this one thing they ask.
If you'll just GIVE UP.
Think about it. Wouldn't it be so much easier to just stop worrying?
You're not stupid, though. Even though you can't just suddenly up and save the planet, there are still a million "little" things to be done. There are groups out there, countless clusters of knowledgeable people, all underfinanced, that specialize in protecting the water, the animals, the people, the plants. They need your money and time.
Or maybe, for now, all they need is your attention. Perhaps, even more than that, they need you only to hang on to your instincts, to preserve your intuition, until you're in a better position to use them. That alone would be better for them, for the time being, than losing you entirely.
It's up to you to find the ones you can work with in your own town, and/or the national organizations that happen to agree with your personal politics. You have to decide which ones are naive do-gooder fools, which ones are crooks, and which ones are effective. We could point you in a few general directions -- but who's kidding who? You've known all along what to do. This article is just a 'pep talk' to help convince you to go ahead and actually do it. Whatever it is.
We're the first animals on this planet to have to start guiding our own evolution (at least, until we're outdated by the new models we'll create!). Only the few who know about it ever feel the burden, but it's a heavy one. The crucial, immediate thing is to keep it FUN. Our job right now is to make the responsibility more clear and yet to keep it in perspective, to keep it fun. To make it possible.
Everything you can see around you was once called "impossible." We must make the damn-near-impossible seem more possible than it really is -- if we knew how tough it was actually going to BE, we'd give up entirely. We must continually fool ourselves into helping ourselves, because another part of us is always trying to fool us into hurting ourselves. The part that hurts has acquired a glamorous rep of late, while the part that helps has been made to seem boring BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN LEFT IN THE HANDS OF "EXPERTS" WHEN WE SHOULD HAVE PRESERVED OUR INSTINCTS OURSELVES, HANDING THEM DOWN FROM PARENT TO CHILD LIKE PRIMATES ARE SUPPOSED TO DO, RATHER THAN PAYING SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT. It's easy to assume that the person with the loudest voice and most credentials knows what he's doing, but it's surprisingly difficult to learn the truth. "The Hard Way" seems to work best.
In some misfired way, our puritanical ancestors were right -- it takes REAL WORK to be REALLY ALIVE. Not the meaningless toil they pay you for, but real work, like whatever that thing is that you enjoy most. Keep THAT alive and you won't squander your energy off into rancid pools of hate and self-pity. It isn't just the system that keeps you down -- it's YOU, TOO. SNAP OUT OF IT!! Shed that skin of habits! You're ancestors PAID to make sure you could really think... now THINK, DAMN IT!! If you had any INKLING of how far you've come, you would NEVER slip back! There IS a reason to keep going;WHY DO YOU THINK IT STARTED UP IN THE FIRST PLACE??
The main thing, in any case, is simply to remember. Remember the air, the ocean, the people just out of eyeshot, the strangely delicate balance that can't function under Dioxin and radiation and a burnt ozone layer. You don't have to dwell morbidly upon these things; indeed, you mustn't .
Just remember ... and sooner or later you'll know exactly what to do. At that point, if it didn't before, everything will make sense once again.
FOOTNOTES:
*SubGeniuses may be their revenge.
*"God" is what you remember when you die -- so, no hurry, right?
ADDENDUM to the "BUT SERIOUSLY..." rant:
FOR DECLARED SUBGENII SPECIFICALLY:
Unfortunately, it isn't as easy being a Good Guy as it looks in the movies. Most people desperately want to be Good Guys at first, but they blow it off when they realize that there really are Bad Guys too. Bad Guys with super powers, in fact!
Just because you aren't "bad" doesn't mean you're "good." If you aren't DOING anything about the Bad Guys, you're nothing but a "plot device" that the Bad Guys or the Good Guys are going to use.
Don't feel like a lone kook just because nobody around you seems to know what the word "ecosystem" means. They won't know what DEATH means, either, until they've learned to appreciate life. They take the universe for granted, and are stuck in a world of "goals" which are as worthless as they are easily attained.
Normal adjustment to society seems to demand this "blinkered" consciousness. On the other hand, maniacal SubGenius style mental health, although illegal, can create an immunity against future-shock apathy. If you can "take a joke" even as HORRIBLE as modern reality, you can't be blinded to its horrors or its joys.
The Bad Guys have a funny way of twisting all this around, though, and making whole planetary populations fall for it. Ever notice that the Conspiracy is composed of "TOUGH MEN?" TOUGH MEN. They're MAN enough to watch a football game, alright, but not MAN enough to change their kid's diapers. MAN enough to let the President bury nuclear waste in their backyard, MAN enough to pay taxes, MAN enough to wear an itchy business suit even in summer (because they're MAN enough to pay the electric bills for air-conditioning), MAN enough to send their kids to fight overseas, MAN enough to be BLANK FOOD TUBES that "WORK" to pay for MORE FOOD... MAN enough to tell NIGGER JOKES, or to gang up with a bunch of other TOUGH MEN to beat up lone queers or even just little nerds with glasses... but not MAN enough to stay human.
Does that enrage you? Does that make you want to gang up with a bunch of other tough SubGenii to beat up lone Normals and Rednecks?
One of "Bob's" Secret Doctrines, as you'll remember from your studies of BoSG Ch.20, is that there are no Normals. It's a matter of degree. The only "SubGeniuses" who seriously think they can tell a 'normal' from a 'Sub' are the "Bobbies" -- the slimey anti-social Normals who are so sure they're True Children of "Bob." (A thousand average normals aren't half the threat to the Church that three "Bobbies" are.) Revealingly, most of these still live off their parents. Naturally, we find "Bobbies" who declare themselves "better than normals" because they don't have to hold down jobs. That's supposed to mean they "have Slack."
Almost everyone has to work for the Conspiracy, just to survive -- but how many of you are really sufficiently true to yourselves to PRESERVE your CRAZINESS, to STAY "SUBGENIUS" in the face of a squaling baby, unpaid heating bills, and the promise of wealth if you'll just "buckle down"?? How many will be capable of the NOBLEST chore, of SUBVERTING FROM WITHIN, of remaining teenaged while mastering the appearance of adulthood?? Getting Slack, in its truest sense, can sometimes be MORE WORK than WORKING ONESELF to STUPIDITY!
In the eternal battle, Slack will eventually win out, simply because in its pure state it cannot be bottled or sold. However, thanks to the Conspiracy, abnormality in the current ruling civilization usually demands sacrifice. "FINE," you say, "I'll sacrifice my NORMALITY!!" Okay.. but what if being a Good Guy means being treated worse than the Bad Guy half the time? Think you're "man" enough, Pink Boy? Ready to spend 20 years proving it?
Someday, 10,000 years from now or so, we will no longer have to sacrifice; we will have our cake and eat it too, for we are owed it. "Bob" has promised us Something for Nothing. But, in the meantime, the only form of PURE TRUE TIME CONTROL now open to us is PATIENCE to put up with all the shit and torment that being one of the Good Guys means... to party ANYWAY... because WHATEVER IS CLOSEST TO REAL SLACK WILL PAY OFF THAT MUCH BETTER IN THE END.
The Conspiracy wants you to party and work, party and work -- Their way. "Bob" wants you to really party and really work. "Don't just launch that Bleeding Head... launch the HELL out of it!" -- Sternodox.
"Bob" lived his life the way he did to prove that you can be a Good Guy and still be Cool...just like Mr. T, kids!! The Conspiracy (and the "Bobbies!") promulgate an EZ-2-Digest Canned Hipness' the kind of hipness we're talking about isn't like anything shown on TV or sung by rock stars. It isn't Punk, nor old-timey, either. It simply IS. It predates fashion, it predates CLOTHES, it predates DATING, it may even predate bipedal locomotion and the opposable thumb, and it's more important than any lifestyle with a name, including "SubGenius." FUCK the assholes that keep trying to replace it with cheap thrills. It's possible to have a more swinging time at home with your family, just sitting around, than the "bad guys" would ever want you to think. That would RUIN Their system.
Slack, strangely enough, has a lot to do with commitment and love and responsibility and such, things which haven't been "hip" lately, but will be again someday, no thanks to either the Moral Majority or the New Age... Slack is ultimately what it will take for, for instance, nuclear disarmament to ever happen. But EVEN NATIONS MUST HAVE SLACK.
Any religion is just one big PEP TALK, but -- screwy as it may be -- the basic gist common to most religions is THE FUCKING TRUTH!! But that inevitable loss of perspective keeps creeping in, no matter what absurd measures the 'guru' takes to prevent it, and pretty soon the pep talk becomes repitition. Then, a completely new form of "pep talk" is created to fill the need, to remind people of themselves .
The terms "SubGenius" and "Slack" don't mean a cluster of "Bobbies" thinking a shared "in joke" proves they're better than everybody else. SubGeniuses are people who, even if for one second, or one instant, recognized the value of their lives. If the rest of humanity could lock onto that, the assholes of the world would be CURED INSTANTLY and all crime and war and exploitation would CEASE FOREVER.
That's what the Church is here for.
"BOB" COMES AGAIN and AGAIN to prove that being a Good Guy is worth it in KICKS and SLACK.
"Bob" asked WOTAN if we could party, and IT said that we had to.
Of course, you can't enjoy yourself if you're an evil shit who thinks that hurting other people is enjoyable. That cancels itself out -- which is exactly why it's so hard to tell the difference. Slack for thyself and Slack for others, then, are not interchangeable, but definitely interconnected. To keep all Slack for yourself actually depletes Slack; not only are you rendered unable to appreciate it, but you also lose brownie points in society AND Heaven, and will eventually be branded an asshole, and so fry in Hell.
Being a Slackful Asshole gets you nowhere.
On the other hand, a fine person with no Slack won't be a fine person for long. It'll become a stupid person and kill itself.
Many don't even know when they do have Slack to begin with. When people can barely count past ten anymore, how can they accurately count their blessings? Yet, as Slackless a land as this is, Hell has even less Slack. You could die and go there at any second.
There is no justice, no answer. If you can save the world singlehandedly, GREAT. If you can "just get by," THAT'S GREAT TOO.
Just don't QUIT.
SET AN EXAMPLE as a LIVING ENTITY that HASN'T STOPPED LIVING. You won't really know what it's all worth until it's been taken away -- so just TAKE "BOB'S" WORD FOR IT!!
On the surface, that may not be a sane approach; but nothing really important that ever happened was a "sane" event. That is why the Conspiracy suppresses abnormality. It doesn't want anything important to happen.
They have 50,000 nuclear weapons, and we don't have ANY. Yet, we dare to fight 'em anyway!! Sure, it's a lost cause -- but as Jimmy Stewart's old Pa said in MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON, "The lost causes are the only causes worth fighting for." SURE we're CRAZY -- hasn't it ALWAYS been the crazies and the misfits who were STUPID and BRAVE enough to STAND UP AGAINST THE CONSPIRACY?
The decks are stacked, alright. But WE have the JOKER... the Joker and the Batman all rolled into one!
Is it not ... "Bob?"
STARTED at the beach house the day after the mean religious cop tried to scare us, and succeeded, during the SubGenius Beach Party hosted by the Houston Clench -- Galveston, Texas, June 1983. With certain key lines cribbed from the rants of Pope David Meyer, St. Janor Hypercleats, Dr. Philo Drummond, Pope Sternodox and someone else.
Guess I'll be the first to say the absolutely obvious.
RAH!
Quote from: agent compassionYou're a hypocrite
And also disrespectful
In your debate style.
Now this is nothing
Spend some time with the egos
At the Ring of Flame (http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/viewforum.php?f=6)
Quote from: Sinner Bob the MediocreGuess I'll be the first to say the absolutely obvious.
RAH!
I think I fucked up the sylable count.
Quote from: Roger
I think I fucked up the sylable count.
For shame, Rog, for shame...(http://smilies.jeeptalk.org/contrib/sarge/Disappointed_anim.gif)
Now I've lost all faith in humanity.(http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/ed/cry.gif)
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
I think I fucked up the sylable count.
Yeah, that was alot to read through.
:twisted:
(http://img79.exs.cx/img79/1558/rogmess3il.jpg)
Oh, fluffy, ease up on Rog. You know Discordian Haiku has no rules... :lol:
Quote from: fluffy(http://img79.exs.cx/img79/1558/rogmess3il.jpg)
Somebody set us up the migraine!
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: fluffy(http://img79.exs.cx/img79/1558/rogmess3il.jpg)
Somebody set us up the migraine!
I'm just glad I have a laptop so I can spin it around. I can read upside down, or backwards, but not both, holy crap. Don't we have an Alice that can pull the poor bunny out of the mirror?
Choc-o-late, heaven
White is really not, you know
cocoa butter, blah
next:lighten up
Hmmmmm :
:runs off to the bar and asks him is he would send her into Fluffys mirror so she can pull Fluffy back out::
<beams Mal into Fluffy's mirror>
Good thing Mal tied herself to me with silk rope :wink:
The intrepid Mal
goes to save her bunny friend
will they both return?
NT - what happens next?
Quote from: MalaulThe intrepid Mal
goes to save her bunny friend
will they both return?
NT - what happens next?
Into the mirror
What a lot of strange things there
Will Mal like it there?
Mushrooms and hookas
Talking cats and talking cards
Talking bunnies, oooohh
It is no wonder
The bunny has been hiding
In this strange, strange place
They may not return
Will someone else have to go
We may lose them both
Out of the mirror
Come back to us, Mal, bunny
What was I thinking
Sending a kitty
To go rescue a bunny
Out of the mirror
Next:The story continues
ps sorry if I got carried away, I blame the tea, shoulda had coffee
oh the tension mounts!
a message from our sponsors
must tune in next week
(mal locates bunny but must rescue her from elmer fudd)
Wascawwy Wabbit
You're not going to fool me
OOOoooooo..sexy kitty
next:Elmer's distracted, now what
Wringes hands, "Oh deary dear.
What ever will happen here.
Nothing good I fear."
Next: The plot thickens.
Now it all makes sense,
The knife, the rabbi, the gun
But what about Bob?
Next theme: Mal meets Bob
Bunny and kitty
Surrounded by such chaos
In Alice's world
next: will they ever get out?
(http://img190.exs.cx/img190/1428/haiku8pu.jpg)
Gah! I'm not even trying
Alice grabs fluffy
Holding hands fluffy grabs Mal
Walk to the mirror
Walk to the mirror
Back to the so called real world
Girl, bunny, kitty
Another kitty
On the other side beyond
The mirror chaos
Eldora's waiting
Waiting for you, all her friends
Join her, go back through
Unnggghhh, big crash of glass
Everyone back on this side
Everyone home safe
Welcome home everybody
Next topic:back to haiku's, pick your own frigging topic, I've been doing this all day :roll:
oh what a relief
that place was causing me grief
hey! whose tail is this?
next: chocolate lawn mower oil
that's my tail you grabbed
but that's ok, I'm not mad
just glad that you're back
was grass greener there
i heard that the lawnmowers
ran on choc'late oil
next:the bunny's back, yea
the bunny's back, but
she looks all orangey, like
too much fake tan spray
8)
next: the Queen Mum's dinner date with Andrew Dice Clay...
dung dung dung dung dung
dung dung dung dung dung dung dung
dung dung dung dung dung
howzthatferrigonalti
Oh look, it's a guest!
Thinks his haiku is the best-
But it's just a mess!
Next up: The return of Aini: Good bad or indifferent?
aini: by far the most
interesting troll-type since
Carl Eric Von Kleist
in fact she's much more
interesting than most of
the posters in here
8)
next: we'll try this again...the Queen Mum's dinner date with Andrew Dice Clay
You are invited
For tea and profanity
With Her Majesty.
:)
Next topic: Fried eggs and the people who love them.
Cholesterol can
Be very bad for people
But I love fried eggs
Next topic: The Zen of donuts.
Wholy holy dough
Enlightens all, but is it
Donut or doughnut?
NT: Who would win in a second revolutionary war?
The ones who will win
Will be the ones who rotate
Not revolve, you see.
Up next: Sorry, not a winner, please play again!
Disappointment comes
From beneath a bottle cap.
Pepsi, drown my woes!
Next up: fuzzy duck slippers
"Fuzzy Duck" leads to
"Ducky Fuzz," which we all know
Leads to: "Duzzy Fuck?"
Why not: The 23rd resident of Boot Hill
Why not: The 23rd resident of Boot Hill
number twenty three
he didn't see it coming
aces and eights were
in his hand, but he
forgot the lengend about
Poker:Deadman's hand
Next: don't thouch my threads, man
when you lead a fake
army, be sure to expect
some thread hijacking.
Up next: the incredibly lame superbowl halftime show.
Please do not hijack
It's not very nice for those-
Oh look, a penis!
Next topic: That mystery smell in the Fridge
Damn. Well, I like yours better.
:mrgreen:
Ever find something :o
covered in foil in the back :?
oh, no, it's MEAT CAKE :shock:
Next:George Carlin
By the way, that "X" was on a triple letter score.
the incredibly
lame superbowl halftime show
I didn't watch it
Next:back to haikus, where the hell were we anyway.
too bad i heard paul mcCartneywas gonna fellatiate himself.
those last few poems
where the best Ive read so far
except for roger's
Next topic
whos on top
whats on the bottom
Bun on the top of
the hamburger with swiss cheese
Bum on the bottom
Next topic: The problems of not eating.
not eating is fine
the real problem, you see,
comes from not pooping
8)
next: the Illuminati vs. the Patriots: is Bill Belichick a better coach than Adam Weishaupt?
There was much strife in
The land of Eris because
Two men went quite mad
They called each other
Silly names like third graders
As men sometimes do
The women may have
Instigated it a bit
Eris would be proud
The women were not
Invited to this silly
Party of the boys
Lacking an invite
The women instigated
Poking them with sticks
Rog was strong, fearless
He was ready for the fight
He prepared in stealth
Then there was Goat Turd
As we called him on that day
Picking fights all day
When our two heroes
Clashed upon the field that day
Both were courageous
No one predicted
That neither would be victor
Eris had her way
Malaul locked them out
The Caffeinatrixx would rule
She shut down their field
No one remembers
What started it on that day
But Mal finished it
She is GOD here now
Just ask Rog, he learned it late
Eris would be proud
once there was a girl
who felt left out because two
boys were having fun
without her, so she
thought she'd jump in and play along
but they just ignored
her posts because she
didn't realize what she was
trying to get into
I'm too nice a guy
to give her the kind of abuse
I was giving to Rog
but if she insists
on sticking her nose in this
it's not me who'll bite it
8)
next: why silly non-sequiturs are more fun as haiku topics than an epic story that no one really cares about
ONCE THERE WAS A GREY
BROAD WHOSE SOLE POWER IN LIFE WAS
ON THIS ONE FORUM
SO SHE THREW HER WEIGHT
AROUND, AND CALLED HERSELF GOD
SUCH A SILLY PINK, SHE
DESPITE HER "POWER"
SHE IS STILL A BROKE LOSER
WITH NO PERSPECTIVE
FACT IS, A TARD WITH MOD POWERS IS STILL A TARD.
CHEF D,
THINKS MALAUL IS DOING WONDERS FOR THIS BOARD.
::runs off crying::
Quote from: GOD::runs off crying::
FUNNY, THAT'S JUST WHAT THE REV DID.
Quote from: GOD::runs off crying::
My T shirt says that
Boys are stupid and that I
Should throw rocks at them
Next:Why can't we all just get along, for crying out loud it is only Monday :roll:
::sighs and shakes head::
funny how it happens to even teh best of us...
Quote from: eldora_avalonQuote from: GOD::runs off crying::
My T shirt says that
Boys are stupid and that I
Should throw rocks at them
Next:Why can't we all just get along, for crying out loud it is only Monday :roll:
TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO GET ALONG HERE IS USELESS.
JUST ASK VELVET JESUS.
OH, YOU CAN'T. SHE LEFT OVER A YEAR AGO, BECAUSE SOME TARDS WERE SEXUALLY HARRASSING HER.
OH...WAIT...YOU THOUGHT THIS PLACE WAS *DIFFERENT*? :lol:
SO DID THE LATE, UNLAMENTED REV. AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS STUPID ASS.
CHEF D,
FIGURES YOU MIGHT LAST A MONTH.
just wait 'til wednesday
I'm hoping by then the streets
will be running with the blood of a million "innocents"
:lol:
next: deck Fat City with kerosene, tra la la la la, la la la la.....strike a match and watch it gleam, tra la la la la, la la la la.....
Quote from: ChefJUST ASK VELVET JESUS.
OH, YOU CAN'T. SHE LEFT OVER A YEAR AGO, BECAUSE SOME TARDS WERE SEXUALLY HARRASSING HER.
wow
I didnt know that why she left
thats kinda creepy
Quote from: GODQuote from: ChefJUST ASK VELVET JESUS.
OH, YOU CAN'T. SHE LEFT OVER A YEAR AGO, BECAUSE SOME TARDS WERE SEXUALLY HARRASSING HER.
wow
I didnt know that why she left
thats kinda creepy
SEARCH THE MONIKER "ADMIRAL LEXINGTON" IN THE PICS THREAD (ABOUT PAGE 17).
HUGH AND THE REV RAN THEM OFF THE BOARD.
CHEF SHOULD TRY TO BRING THEM BACK.
CHEF,
THINKS THAT COULD SPICE THINGS UP A LITTLE.
oooooooo
lexington?
wow
I thought he was one of the good guys,,,
yikes
Quote from: GODoooooooo
lexington?
wow
I thought he was one of the good guys,,,
yikes
DEPENDS ON YOUR POINT OF VIEW.
I THINK HE WAS A HOOT.
yeah i rememebr that. i though tit was mroe tha german elfboi guy or whatever. he showed up a week or two after i did, adn a week or two before you(mal), kept quotign the picture with *licks* and shit. it's hard to flirt witha girl when soem n00b is blowing his load all over himself.
do you mean EVTs friend Lord Caramac?
yeah that fucker.
all over the pale abotu being an elf women dreser upper gay bastard who wanted to lick every girl in the place all over with absolutely no sense of how to flirt, let alone mack. no wonder he dresses liek a girly elf, curly shoed hosehead!
There there. Let it all out.
That makes me sad, though. I liked her. And I thought he was nice.
Well, the 4 posts that I saw of his.
Quote from: Tontons Macouts
next: the Illuminati vs. the Patriots: is Bill Belichick a better coach than Adam Weishaupt?
Belicheck is teh win!
Weishaupt wasn't dealing with
those salary caps.
Next: At what point did we all lose our sense of humor?
tell me, why on earth
would anyone think last night was
anything short of hilarious?
8)
next: why people can't simply sit back and enjoy a good show
Quote from: Tontons Macouts
next: why people can't simply sit back and enjoy a good show
I always assumed
humor and acerbic wit
were needed for that.
Next topic: How whining & bitching between two people you sort of respected makes enjoyable entertainment.
it was certainly
enjoyable from the perspective
of one of the whiny bitches.
8)
next: the prole/party divide...which side are you on?
Quote from: Tontons Macoutsnext: the prole/party divide...which side are you on?
Prole versus Party
Which to choose? Oh, which to choose?
How about neither?Next: New influx of Trolls, due to this latest tiff
Man, after all that
All we get are sub-par jokes
And dirty pictures?
Next: How the trolls can improve their trolling
Quote from: Hoshiko
Next: How the trolls can improve their trolling
To start, please go here (http://www.urban75.com/Mag/troll.html).
Then, do research on us all.
(Intelligence helps).
hey, LMNO
I think you may have forgotten
to tell us what's next
8)
Ah, when I said that
"Intelligence Helps", of course,
That didn't mean me.
Ok, here we go with: the new Budweiser with caffine and ginseng.
Drunk, getting sleepy
No, wait, I'm awake again
What the hell is this?
Up next: Sink the political philosophy of your choice.
Anarchism's good
In theory but in practice
Everyone gets killed
Next up: The perils of jaded idealism
I thought that I could
Trust other people, but now
I know it's a lie
Idealism
Gone, what is left to believe
In, Me, myself, I
Next:Fat Tuesday, Paczkis
Last Tuesday I bought
My family some Paczkis
And they ate them all
next:record number of days without haikus
Starving, salivating...
Must have poetry... or die
No poems... all day.
N.T.: monopoly
the air now clear of smoke
the board glistens with dry blood
"the top hat is MINE!"
NT: feb 14th.
stupid fucking day
I wish it would go away
hallmark can suck me
NT - Vineral desease
AA's dirty dream
such a fantasy for him
needs a new day job
NT - Jesus Wept
lo! the lord did weep
upon calv'ry he said thus:
"i can see my house!"
NT: heresy
they nailed tha fucker to a tree
and he looked down and said
dude this fuckin sux0rz!
and i was like dude!
and he was like dude?
adn i was like wtf?
and he was like stfu n00b!
and hten he was like hey fucker
forgive these n00bs for tehy are n00bs!
and then he start crying
so i stuck a sword in his n00b ass.
adn was like who's teh h4x0r now n00b!
nt: my neighbor's like usign all teh hot water, even tho they don't need it.
Quote from: horab the impalerand hten he was like hey fucker
forgive these n00bs for tehy are n00bs!
i think horab deserves an honorary mention for that.
lol
Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xviiQuote from: horab the impalerand hten he was like hey fucker
forgive these n00bs for tehy are n00bs!
i think horab deserves an honorary mention for that.
lol
me and jesus are like freinds and stuff. ol buddies if you will. we've had this conversation a thousand x 1k.
Jesus and Horab
Go out for beers after work
Which n00b buys the drinks?
Next: What would Jesus play on the Jukebox?
jesus would play
hotel california
and suzy q
(oh i love you)
nt: what doers horab have against haiku anyway?
One cold winter day
Haiku snuck through the window
And killed his mother
Next: Why, Haiku, whyyyyy?
Horab is evil
Can't spell, rhyme, or syllabize
Lay off the drugs, man
NT: horab is a hippy chick.
i feel so cheated
no boobs and
no snatch.
nt: tellign hippy chicks you hate hippies is a sure way to get laid. or not.
No girl parts, and sad
Horab alone, drum circle
Burnt grilled cheese for 1
Next: Patchouli without bathing: Yes or no
Don't care if it rains
or freezes long as I have
my plastic Jesus
Next: What would Jesus order from The Open Bar
Edit:Holy crap, I missed a whole page, sorry.
jesus like girls drink
banana strawberry
daquiri. amen
nt: jesus walks into a bar adn says:
I'll have a Bloody Mary
Then polish is off
With a Virgin Mary.
nt: Jesus is Fnord
Jesus is fnord
only that spelled backwards
So he is a dronf
Next Topic: Enjoying of a Milk Shake recipe ennounced by Goddess herself inside a box of mass-market anitmatter.
I'd have a milkshake
But my fuckin' blender's broke
Don't tease me, Eris!
Up next: Mayo and Miracle Whip fight to the death
Mayo is the real
shit, Miracle whip can suck
me off its so bad
edit: Next, a haiku on condiments that suck
you are SO way wrong
miracle whip pwns mayonnaise
with a billy club
8)
on deck: the 6th grade school play is "Deliverance"
"Squeal! Squeal like a pig!"
All right, A.A., time for bed.
"Aw mom! You're no fun!"
Hit it with; Oblique mockery of Trolls.
:lol:
I'd mock trolls obliquely
but you could make the argument
that I'm one myself.
8)
playing soon: why can't I find any contortionist porn?
Dude, seriously
You are not looking very
Hard, google.com
Next:People from the U.P. call us trolls
Are you kidding me?
Must not be looking that hard
Try Bangedup.com (http://www.bangedup.com)
Swinging at: Black Sabbath's Paranoid vs Van Halen's I
Van Halen was nothing
more than an extended wank-session
Black Sabbath fuckin' PWNS
8)
try this on for size: Ozzy was only the 3rd best singer Black Sabbath ever had
Ozzy was quite good
But not as good as the bat
Head caught in his teeth
Next up to bat: Spongebob versus Dobson
Sponges are good
For cleaning up spills, better
than a preacher guy.
On deck: Is it a dookie or a toblerone?
Considering that
Toblerones are triangles,
You got some weird poop.
Take a stabbination at: The crazy shit people do for love.
anything qualifies
since doing anything for love
is fucking retarded
8)
on deck: acid rain...and I do mean ACID rain...
liquid, where's it from?
falling near me everywhere
i think i'm a fish
next: watercolor paintings of your dad dressed in a tutu
Hairy legs, pink so
bright it hurts my eyes to look
Stand still will you Dad?
next, on the non existence of pies
I look at the pie
And I find enlightenment
Now there is no pie
How about this: Mullets and fashion.
is the ape drape here?
on the catwalks of milan?
die you fuckin' tards!
NT: pedero's glorious moustache
Pedero and 'stache
in this life you will not find
a greater beauty
Next Topic: Egyptian Deities
there's only one god!
hermetically a fun god.
horus, horus, yey!
next: keep the aspidistra flying, or other obscure orwell.
Haven't read Orwell
Since I was in high school, so
On to next topic!
Next topic: The NHL's cancellation or lack thereof. Discuss.
season un-cancelled!
now Bruins can complete a
Boston trifecta
8)
next: Aces and Eights
Escaped Deadman's Hand
Thought it was Aces and Eights
Welcome back, Roger
Next:Cards as analogy to life
Look at this crap hand,
a natural royal flush,
I'm playing go fish. :evil:
Next: Early American degenerates.
we're hungry, we're cold!
why thank you for the turkey.
now we take land. yoink!
NT: pizza hut
Jessica Simpson
You know you are stupid when
Muppets are smarter
next: mana mana, do do do do do
how to make haiku from
mana mana do do do do?
WTF, over?
8)
on deck: please gouge out my eyeballs. please.
As per his request
McStab's eyeballs are no more
Eris gouged them out.
Coming soon to a Haiku post near you: Mothers versus Maddox
Maddox's no mother
Frank don't let no ax wieldin'
mofo in the band
Next: The Gillian Island Reunion
Ginger thinks she's hot
But MaryAnn is hotter
She's held up better
next:no one but me remembers the muppet show, wa
It's the Muppet Show
With our very special guest...
Alice Cooper! YEAHHHHHHH!
NT:for god's sake mangrove get off the frickin' computer and get your ass in town to do something constructive!
When you spend all day
On the computer it makes
Baby Jesus cry!
Next: how do you like your eggs?
EW NO STAY AWAY
Says Bella - Hater of eggs
nasty nasty things
next topic
freudian slip, when you say one thing but mean your mother
It's a penis, right?
It's got to be a penis
Penis! Penis! Yay!
On deck: Orbital vs. Prodigy, to the DEATH!
...And out of nowhere,
Atari Teenage Riot
Destroys them both. Ha!
Next up: Embarassing breakfast moments.
They sat mesmerized
Each forgot the other's name
A breakfast for two
Next up: How much snow is too much snow :?
how much is too much?
about as much as we had here
three snowstorms ago...
8)
next: I'm ashamed that AgComp thought that Prodigy was worthy of being mentioned in the same sentence as Orbital...
i'm a firestarter
psychosomatic serial killer
smack my bitch up
next topic : i saw mommy kissing gerald ford.
Quote from: That Clean Bastard
next: I'm ashamed that AgComp thought that Prodigy was worthy of being mentioned in the same sentence as Orbital...
I was hoping someone would write a haiku in which Prodigy got completely and utterly pwned by Orbital...*shrugs* oh well... One good Prodigy song does not redeem them from all the crap they've written, and the fact that Orbital did the DW theme *and* collaborated with David Gray makes them teh win in my book....
8)
Prodigy is weak shit...
Orbital would fucking anybody.
Halcyon & On & On is the only song that has literally saved my life.
I have an idea...we're gonna reverse the haiku thread...instead of writing one based on the last poster's topic, and leaving a topic for hte next poster, waht we should do now is write one and leave it to the next poster to guess what the previous haiku was about, sort of like that Johhny Carson skit where he's the psychic...
I'll start:
You're giving them WHAT?
Did you forget that we still have
our nukes aimed at you?
8)
Oooh, is it about Russia?
That's actually a good idea, as if writing haiku on the fly wasn't tricky enough, now we can play "psychic haiku!"
Look at my sticker
And don't you ask me for cash
Now where's my seat, bitch?
8)
I like how you make it sound like a good idea from me is something rare and wonderful...
yes, Russia...yours is about riding public transit with a stolen bus pass...
smooth hairless bodies
pressed up against me in the night
totally innocent!
8)
Quote from: agent compassionQuote from: That Clean Bastard
next: I'm ashamed that AgComp thought that Prodigy was worthy of being mentioned in the same sentence as Orbital...
I was hoping someone would write a haiku in which Prodigy got completely and utterly pwned by Orbital...*shrugs* oh well... One good Prodigy song does not redeem them from all the crap they've written, and the fact that Orbital did the DW theme *and* collaborated with David Gray makes them teh win in my book....
8)
you don't consider that pwnage?
/soem people wouldn't know w00t! if it headshotted them in teh face... :roll:
Quote from: Oversensitive Communist BastardI like how you make it sound like a good idea from me is something rare and wonderful...
yes, Russia...yours is about riding public transit with a stolen bus pass...
:roll: :lol: I talk to
everyone like that, so don't take it personal.
And my pass ain't stolen! The uni gave it to me, but it's in sticker form on my student ID. Nyeah.
Quote from: nicely toastedyou don't consider that pwnage?
I meant haiku-pwnage, silly. :P
Quote from: agent compassionQuote from: Oversensitive Communist BastardI like how you make it sound like a good idea from me is something rare and wonderful...
yes, Russia...yours is about riding public transit with a stolen bus pass...
:roll: :lol: I talk to everyone like that, so don't take it personal.
And my pass ain't stolen! The uni gave it to me, but it's in sticker form on my student ID. Nyeah.
Quote from: nicely toastedyou don't consider that pwnage?
I meant haiku-pwnage, silly. :P
are you kidding me? that's closest i've coem to ahaijku inside or outside ofthis thread.
Quote from: Michael Jacksonsmooth hairless bodies
pressed up against me in the night
totally innocent!
8)
So round, so shiny
And full of so much power
This thick metal tube...
:twisted:
O_O
i'll say its a metal pipe
nuns are a secret
society that spends their
days worshiping you
um...that was weird
wow, you made that difficult...I'm guessing it's about Colin Powell's secret pegging affair with Condoleeza Rice...
everyone used to like me
then I became a raging fucktard who decided that my idea of fun was being an asshole and trying to fuck people over
shoulda stuck to ranting
8)
I know! I know!
It's "a mirror"!
Okay, my turn:
Super Bowl Sunday
The Academy Awards
Christmas and Easter
Quotewow, you made that difficult...I'm guessing it's about Colin Powell's secret pegging affair with Condoleeza Rice...
Now that's what I'm talking about! Wrong though. I was talking about a battery, haha.
As for the duck:
THINGS I CAN TOTALLY LIVE WITHOUT! :twisted:
I was thinking "overhyped and overfunded wastes of time", so yeah, you got it. :D
sorta like medicare...
8)
to good-bye dirty
black gas exhausting from your
buttocks, drink green tea
answer:
home remedies
Yeah, if you actually have black gas, I think you'll need more than green tea to help you :P
I swear, it wasn't
me! That 3 to 4 feet made
me kill my mailman!
Answer: My weather alibi
Red and glorious
Squashing flat pedestrians
Eat my dust, loser.
Overzealous fire engine?
My hand stuck tight; had
to grab that last carrot piece
No, don't flip the switch!
i'm stuck between razor sharp sex toys and disposal thingamagig in your sink.
there is no haiku
i have to take a poo
some call it voodoo
Ooh, ooh! Is it "horab is stoned again?"
:wink: :P
Pictures everywhere
A bottle of glue, not sniffed
Empty frame waiting.
8)
QuoteMy hand stuck tight; had
to grab that last carrot piece
No, don't flip the switch
Emm a guy on the electric chair who wasnt allowed to finish his last meal?
QuotePictures everywhere
A bottle of glue, not sniffed
Empty frame waiting.
A crazed monk who was given a digital camera for christmas..
Nice little eye where
did you put the shinies
Cant reach that
Quote from: Nippler of MenPictures everywhere
A bottle of glue, not sniffed
Empty frame waiting.
Is it model airplanes?
whoah man
i'm stoned man
this ain't no m0f0xrin haiku man!
-->eris<--'s is potential collage.
monkey balanced on a table reading harry potter backwards?
five five five five five
wow i just said five five times
my brain does not work
-genius....genius....
Am I genius??!!
- No, you're not!!!
Damn!
Here I sit broken hearted.
I came to shit but only farted.
amber nectar pours
twsting smoke stings my sad eyes
an unsettled tab
WHO BE DA ONE DAT FUCKED DIS THREAD, WTF? OH, IT BE DAT STUPID OPIE WIF DA BIG MOUF.
BAGGIE FO YO TEEF
LEAVE SHIT ALONE DONT BE YOURS
BACK TO HAIKU THREAD
NEXT: WHY DO DA OPIES TEST
Why do Opies Test?
Chef can never get a rest
His life is so sad.
Next: Why does Chef make puppies cry?
haikus are so cool
I AM THE CORNHOLIO
give me some nachos
next: cappucino
At last, a starbucks
down the street from a starbucks!
Mmm.. Cappuchino..
Next: Mannakins*
*too lazy for spellcheck
Umm--
Yeah...
Well...
I think horses are pigs
that don't fly straight.
Thank you.
Quote from: CORNHOLIOhaikus are so cool
I AM THE CORNHOLIO
give me some nachos
next: cappucino
nice try corny....but there is just no way on earth that cornholio would be writing poetry. about as likely as him listening to 'winger'.
so, so busted.
8)
Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xviiQuote from: CORNHOLIOhaikus are so cool
I AM THE CORNHOLIO
give me some nachos
next: cappucino
nice try corny....but there is just no way on earth that cornholio would be writing poetry. about as likely as him listening to 'winger'.
so, so busted.
8)
Are you threatening
me, I AM CORNHOLIO
hot chicks dig haikus
what a dumbass, heh, heh, heh, got any nachos?
Huh huh, huh huh huh
huh huh mmm, uh huh huh huh
huh huh, huh huh huh
That was my first one, heh, heh, heh, I got an A
That was cool, huh huh
when we killed that frog, huh huh
it won't croak again
That was Butthead's, he got an A too, heh, heh, heh only time we got A's, though
Oh, yeah, I got in trouble for not doin the whole next thingy, wtf do people put eggs in burritos, heh, seriously, that shit is giving me nightmares, heh, gross
sheep are dumb
people are poopy
poets are prats
boobs are brats
irreverend hugh
thats not a haiku stupid!
give me some cheese cubes?
QuoteHey! that's not haiku!
You're just counting syllables.
Stop that this instant!
irreverend hugh
likes it when bats rape your face
oh no bat semen
But Hugh pointed out
orgasm does not equal
ejaculation
Next:
Why it pays to read all the threads in an open air asylum
but why would a bat
not have many orgasms
when raping my face?
when bats rape your face
their ejaculate fluid
resembles good scotch
next: why I don't drink scotch
Quote from: Hate Factorywhen bats rape your face
their ejaculate fluid
resembles good scotch
next: why I don't drink scotch
Now, my ears perk up:
Bat jism tases like
what, now?
::goes to look for bats::
i am a bat and
politically correct!
your haiku offends.
next: why political correctness in the animal kingdom must be stopped at all costs.
politically correct
this is bad if you like to
watch hot monkey sex
next: why monkeys are hotter than your mom
have you seen my mom?
just about anything is
hotter than she is
on deck: what happens when Mr. Cast Iron Skillet meets Mr. Kneecap
X-rays don't look good
Bits of kneecap everywhere
Except in the knee...
On deck: Don't touch that hyacinth!
that's my hyacinth
step not to my best flower!
die you bitches, die!
Next: the worrying trend of floral related violence
Flower named ladies
Keeping Up Appearances
Very funny show
Mang said violence
This show has only verbal
But it's still funny
Next: How do you pronouce Bucket?
two ducks
and a bucket
fuck it.
nt: eric fucks fish.
Quote from: horab fibslagertwo ducks
and a bucket
fuck it.
nt: eric fucks fish.
this reminds me of MSI
excellent
Quote from: MalaulQuote from: horab fibslagertwo ducks
and a bucket
fuck it.
nt: eric fucks fish.
this reminds me of MSI
excellent
msi>?
Mindless Self Indulgence.
"Now don't forget to fuck yourself!"
sleeping with da fish!
something the maffia say.
is it literal?
next: the joy of beer
Beer, it's liquid bread
Carbs all over the damn place
There goes my waistline!
8)
Next topic: The first day of pirate training.
Quote from: DJRubberduckyMindless Self Indulgence.
"Now don't forget to fuck yourself!"
i sure won't!
we learned to say yar!
i wanted to walk the plank
but that is week four.
next: tribute to scrids.
Scrids are delicious
When marinated rightly
And they're good pets too!
Next: Red rum, red rum
8)
Quote from: agent compassionScrids are delicious
When marinated rightly
And they're good pets too!
Next: Red rum, red rum
8)
only you could get away with that. the scrid thought that was pretty funny :lol:
I never drink rum
Time Lords can't get drunk off booze
We use tea for that.
8)
On deck: Who's the biggest fuckwad?
well, he'd probably
say that it was me, but I'd
say it's Cat Maxwell.
hands down.
next: just because it's free doesn't mean it's good drugs
People call this fun?
Can't walk talk type or think straight
Good thing it was free
Next topic: Yahoo, MSN or AIM, which is your favorite for trolling?
8)
damn you aim
shutting down every five min.
why can i not win
ok so not about trolling...close enough!!!!!
next topic: why my feet itch so much
have you ever thought that
your feet would itch less if you
weren't standing in fire ants?
on deck: fuck the fucking Yankees, with a sharp fucking stick
Fuck The Fucking Yanks
Fuck Them With Sharp Sticks All Day
They deserve death now.
Next Haiku:
Why Haikus rock.
Quote from: Se?±or Misteriosohave you ever thought that
your feet would itch less if you
weren't standing in fire ants?
on deck: fuck the fucking Yankees, with a sharp fucking stick
No thanks, yankee boy.
I will stick with this swarm of
blood sucking insects.
next up: Where are my car keys?
Whoops. I'm too slow. Next topic what he said.
Quote from: Malaria test subject #777Whoops. I'm too slow. Next topic what he said.
I bow to you, sir.
/me bows.
:cough:fucktheyankees:cough:
haikus are awesome
because i fucking said so
no rhyming involved
next: why it is fun to stab people
Some have enough holes
While others need to be given
More ventilation.
8)
Next: Green Day vs. Blink 182
Blink vs. Green Day?
that's like having weaklings fight
to see who's lamer
next: how about Lemmy vs. Iggy?
Lemmy and Iggy
Team up and destroy the world.
First stop: Good Charlotte!
y'know, it's funny...I said to myself "self, even though it's midnight, somehow I know LMNO will be the one to answer this haiku"
I'm good like that.
LMNO
-Is good like that.
PS - Next topic: Shold Cheap Trick be forgiven for their last albums due to their first album?
No.
::pockets the other 16 syllables::
Might need those later...
8)
:Steals the extra syllables
and tacks them on to create a monster Discordian haiku:
Oh my God, what have I done?
I told that fucker
not to use that toilet there.
Alas! Claw shrimp food.
On deck:
The permutations of Ninja-Fish
From Ninja Fishy
All the way To Wonderswan
Life's Circle Goeth!
Next:
Who actually had a Wonderswan, anyway?
There's a wonderswan,
And it lives inside my pants.
(next to the rooster)
How about: Shaving
shaving armpits sucks
almost as much as shaving
my legs, so I don't
j/k
Next: I thought the song was there is a monster in my pants, not a swan :shock:
B52's guy
Has just been drawn and quartered.
Everyone rejoice!
What about: The poor lentils?
they have no pants on
poor little lentils, the rich
lentils bought them all
next: What would Brian Boitano do?
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemythey have no pants on
poor little lentils, the rich
lentils bought them all
next: What would Brian Boitano do?
What Would He Do Now?
Make a plan and follow through
Brian Boitano
Next: Southpark is GOD!
southpark is not god,
no wonder you are such a
dummass fartknocker
why does largo have such a brown nose?
largo's nose is brown
because he just coloured it
with shit flavoured pen
next: why flavoured pens are bad
dude your mouth is purple
i know um
i jsut love the taste of grape flavoured pen.
next: grapes are wrathful?
my grapes are wrathful
maybe because i just put
them in the freezer
next: why freezing fruit before you eat it is some much better!
I freeze bananas
then throw them in the blender
to make sweet pimp juice
Next: Who's got the pimp juice?
i've got the pimp juice
the hos and bitches follow me
everywhere i go
next: why pimps wear funny clothes
pimps wear loud clothing
to hide from police vice squad
no that doesn't work
Next: Does cappucino really go with nachos all that well?
oh nice coffee taste
and the fake cheesey goodness
taste like crap when mixed
next: are nacho milkshakes a good idea?
This I will borrow
from Agent Compassion's head:
The answer is "no".
There was no topic
left by that sad creep back there
I'll make do somehow...
next one: blame it on the dog
heh, heh, I'll take it
ew, who cut one, that's gross, heh
must have been the dog
next: take credit for your own farts and clear the room like I do
Are you kidding me?
Fake cheese and milk = great to drink
Just chase it with booze!
:P
I have been known to
Go to Tim Hortons and to
Taco Bell in one lunch
next: wtf
What the fuck? Oh, man
I can't believe this happened,
Now I'm pissed off! Fuck!
Next up: Yankees suck. Discuss.
8)
Yankees Suck! Yankees
Suck! Yankees suck! Yankees Suck!
Jeter sucks A-Rod!
Next: No, they really do suck.
The New York Yankees
Engage in fellatio! See?
I have photographs!
Next: How to get incriminating photographs
go through moms top drawer
polaroids are in demand
EW!! why did I look?
NT - how to bes wash your eye balls
Quote from: Malaulgo through moms top drawer
polaroids are in demand
EW!! why did I look?
NT - how to bes wash your eye balls
profound...
and disgusting... :lol:
a new genre is born.
::bows::
Quote from: Malaulgo through moms top drawer
polaroids are in demand
EW!! why did I look?
NT - how to bes wash your eye balls
someone elses mom
has the same kind of pictures
and its not as gross
heh, HEHEH, heh
next: MILF, heh, that's cool, heh
Moe Has a Nice Song
M I L F is its name
It rocks our socks off.
Next: Goth Industrial Techno Blue Grass Comedic Hardcore Grunge-trance music culture.
UNS flash break beat
what? I cant hear you over
Whistle flapp laughing songs
NT
why cant I remember to post a next tpopic?
Quote from: MalaulNT
why cant I remember to post a next tpopic?
I'll do it for you.
On Deck: Fascist Cattle Overrunning Downtown New York
Oh, you Stalin Steers..
This bovine borough terror
makes me want a steak.
NT:
Milk in a Can
milk in a can? YUM!
sitting on the shelf for weeks
hope i dont get gas.
next: why gas isnt good for dinner
What a lovely meal.
Why don't we light some candles?
Oh, fuck! AHHHH! AAAHHH! AAAAAAHHHHHH!
Next up: Mr. Show v Upright Citizens Brigade.
Do you take spanish?
Sweet home Arkansas Cock Ring,
jump head first this time.
Next Topic
Santa vs. Charles Manson in a knife fight
A mosquito haiku:
Tiny shadow at
my ankle. Faint buzz beside
one ear. Itching starts.
Curled up in your nose
Solid? Or liquid? Who knows?
Oh, liquid. It flows.
Fight malaria
With nasty-tasting quinine
The gin completes it.
booger ebbs, still elms
raging ghosts hatch redly, mean
insect jabbing snot
longingly nameless
test subject pleading roughly
entities beckon
mellow kingdom drips
breezily, irascible
merchant laughing flicks
You are a rebel,
But please have some courtesy;
Name a new topic!
Next up: Why guests don't register after making a dozen or so posts.
QuoteNext up: Mr. Show v Upright Citizens Brigade.
I feel like I should take this one too.... :lol:
K.
Look in the bucket!
I ate too much hippie pie,
Now I need some Tang...
QuoteNext up: Why guests don't register after making a dozen or so posts.
I got nothin'! No,
Really, I'm just here to troll-
Pay no attention...
Next up: Green tea vs. Black tea.
the tea addict steeps
encountering eternal
choice. green versus black
next is: Nasal decongestant
da code id by dose
id do batch por sudaped.
sniiiiiiiiiif-- Ah, much better.
Here we go with: Paper cuts
a superficial cut
pressed wood mulch slices lightly,
smoothly parts the skin
Next up: wicked heart
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Dooma superficial cut
pressed wood mulch slices lightly,
smoothly parts the skin
Next up: wicked heart
Oh, that's a
good one...
wicked, wicked heart...
how could you give out on me when
I was shooting par?
next: west nile virus
8)
Dead crow by the pond.
Kills the old, and kills the young.
Those damn mosquitoes...
Hit it with: The birth of a salamander.
volcanic screams erupt
shivering, dancing amid the coals
elemental lives!
Next: fishnet stockings
easily identified
after bank robbery. Next time
put fishnets on head
8)
next: mosquitos the size of hummingbirds
Did it turn summer
In Maine already? My God!
Mabel, get my gun!
Try on: cookie dough ice cream
icecream truck. brakes freeze
mrs fields hesitates. AAaaaaaaa!
tragic. delicious
Next: Italian holiday
that leaning tower
that i saw look unstable
so i ran away
next topic: computer viruses
electric germs gallop
incognizant, aloof, fierce,
bloated from too many bytes
Next up: Tahiti
Hello Tahiti!
Say, didn't Tao and Eris
Blow you to pieces?
next victim: Halloween
Doorbell rings to prank
the weird lady from Utah
They died, twas Bella!
Net up: Cod (yes, fish)
Cod fingers are nice
With tomato sauce and salt
Kill it with my fork!
Barf on us with: Expired use-by dates
I throw my head back
chug and read: 2004
the milk is bad, hurl
next topic: The many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics
quantum mechanics
isnt it fun,really it is
like hole in the head
next topic: klennex tissues
nasal passages
full of ooze, choir coughing
kleenex tissues up each sleeve
I'm hungry. Next is: PBJ sandwiches
Rock and Roll Sandwich
first you start with peanut butter
then jelly then toast then milk
My son wrote this one, give me a break :roll:
next: Zen and the art of motherhood.
zen zen rhymes with pen
motherhood's very stickey
jello in your hair?
next:
why there are muffins in the freezer
Think they'll mock ME!?
They'll all pay. Now see who
Dies on Drury Lane.
Next time: Night on Olympus Mons
oh olympus mons
how dark you appear at night
you sure give me frights
next topic: biomechnoid giraffes
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doomicecream truck. brakes freeze
mrs fields hesitates. AAaaaaaaa!
tragic. delicious
:lol:
wonderful
biomechanical giraffe armies
come to crush us all
oh shit
Next topic: Jerry Falwell having sex with a goat
And lo, penis short
did enter goat in behind
Jerry was happy
Next up: TGRR pwns j0
Peice of shit board, the above was me.
GRR! :twisted:
when trolls do appear
The Good Reverend Roger
always pwns j0, RAH!
next: who ordered this August heat wave in June :evil:
Sorry, Eldora
I wanted an excuse to
Drink wine in the nude
Next up: Merry Melodies: Behind The Camera
'Noids do not have sex
with doodles! I dont care how
sexy Bugs is drawn!
next
pork chops and apple sauce
Quote from: fuckchopsSorry, Eldora
I wanted an excuse to
Drink wine in the nude
Next up: Merry Melodies: Behind The Camera
d00d, I try to never ever mess with the haiku thread, but wtf? If you need an excuse to be naked, let alone to drink wine naked, we need to work on you some more, hehehe :twisted:
Peter Brady asked
for pork chops and apple sauce
but who said it first?
next: who did say that?
grill it again, Sam
just like Bogie and Bacal.
Humphrey Bogart said it first
Next: It's Friday!
No watch anime
here. Angelina Jolee,
Please fuck me baby.
(Angelina in more arousing then ANYBODY, even most men)
Next on tonight's specials: The woman who put a chicken in her pussy for good luck. (This really DID happen in real life...ask if you want details)
hatchet falls, cat feeds.
this equation = good luck
chicken in pussy
Next: avoid contact with eyes
don't look at the eyes
she will rip your balls of faster
than you can say ow
next: predator (from the arnold swatznegg... (you get the idea)film of the same title)
I speak gud eengleesh
invisible thing is bad
and very oogly!
Next: How many roads must a man skip down before you call him a fairy?
RING RING! Who is this?
Frank's Costume Shop? Sorry, wings
And tights are mine, now
Next up: the sudden realization that you just swallowed a bug
Oh, bug in my throat
You tickle and worry me
And taste like chicken
Next topic: Doctor Who vs. Star Wars
8)
star wars owns doctor
who, even the crappy sw3
with the emo king in
next: sleep deprivation
::defenestrates DiL::
You knew that was coming...
:twisted:
Now then:
Lack of sleep
Can cause you to say things like
"Star Wars 3 was great."
:twisted:
I mean all right I can think of FAR worse ways to spend a day, doing taxes and FAFSAs just to name some examples, but fine cinema it wasn't. It was popcorn, and I'll take jelly babies over popcorn any day. :D
Next topic: The parmesan cheese is talking to you. What does it say?
dil, its hlaf one in the morning
what the fuck are you doin awake
and that was an haiku.
look you only like doctor who because fo your underlying lesbain urges for billie piper. and dont defnesrtrate me again turd or dr fruend made me say it
Pffft.
Billie's cute and all, but Captain Jack is cuter.
Anyway, go to bed, you silly monkey, or I'll stuff you in my TARDIS.
8)
dont i only wish
i could dream the night away
Blast! darn I T work
:cry:
next: what agent compassion would do to me in her tardis :wink:
wash yer mouth out with
non-emo glycerine soap
and send you to bed
damn, there goes my hopes
of boinkin an older woman
well for... tonite atleast!
:twisted: hehe :D
dil, you did not say
what the next subject should be
go drink some coffee
next: why i secretly like emo hair :oops:
emo hair is reall cool
dil use to have emo hair
and i want to ... him
:twisted:
next topic: why are my socks white when 90% of my other clothes are black/navy blue
Quote from: DiLemo hair is reall cool
dil use to have emo hair
and i want to ... him
:twisted:
next topic: why are my socks white when 90% of my other clothes are black/navy blue
white socks are needed
to wear with sandals and shorts
to look like a dork
next: why striped socks are the best
striped socks are the best
because they let the smell out
unlike the rest!!
next topic: why do my wrists ache?
Teh Carpel Tunnnels
hast begun it's on you
Die now, emo boy.
Next: Camping with Vikings who have lots of mead and large sharp axes :twisted:
When Thor says he wants
The last marshmallow, you better
Just give it to him.
Next topic: The warning label on the wart medicine
Wild red hair flying
Large sharp axes chop down trees
Camping with Vikings
Lots of beer, not mead
Vikings? Check the DNA
Irish Viking Scots :shock: :D
Sorry AC
Quote from: ACNext topic: The warning label on the wart medicine
More than anything
I want to freeze genitals
No warts there
Just want to
Want to freeze my penis
Just for fun
Next Topic: You need much more fiber.
More fiber please ma'am
I've got stone up my shit pipe
No more meat binges
Next up: Film at 11!
Do you have a stone?
Is this stone in your shit pipe?
synaptyx does, film at 11
exclusive coverage of shit stone
this shit stone will be removed from
syntaptyx ass, 11:00 exclusive footage!
next topic: Why Fnordiscordia sucks are writing Haikus and seldom pays attention to the rules of haiku writing.
Fnordiscordia has absolutely no talent,
He alleviates his boredom through haiku writing
God hates a bad haiku
Next topic: Why obese people don't understand why they have trouble attracting people.
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyCheck the DNA
Irish Viking Scots :shock: :D
/checks DNA - snap!
sorry, didn't mean to fuck the thread up.
Synaptix did not mean to
Was the thread fucked up?
Maybe it was from beginning
Next topic: Did Minoan civilization use breast implants? (see snake woman statue)
The Minoans are so obscure
Breasticles hanging free
No breast implants in boobeee
Next topic: Goats.
Randy Pan gets off
as two farm boys fuck the goat
and mama watches
Next Subject: The Liberal Jew Media Made Me Do It
[w00t! 1st post on page 111...that's worth a phony wish!]
I eat no pig or horse!
Kosher salt, an early heat attack
Blame Joe Lieberman!
Next: Where gummy bears rule the world
where gummies rule ALL
red cinnimon fish can't vote
and fruit snacks are gay
next topic: "Harold and Maud" (Or Pedophilia, if you haven't seen that
movie)
He was 18 and
she was 80, it's creepy
but not illegal
next: fractals
Fractals bend math
Fractals make math to art
Fractals fun trip
Next topic: Am I paranoid or is everyone fucking looking at me?!
we're looking at you
don't you know that we'll eat you!?!?
Cthulhu's Minions!
next topic: Arizona Bay
I've never seen Arizona Bay
I've never even been to Arizona Bay
My haiku is really bad
Next topic: Horrible show tunes and the idiots that listen to them
Arizona Bay
is where showtunes go to die
Californ-i-a
as for the people
that sing to such awefulness
they get florida
Next Topic: The Peter Principal
Terrific job, friend.
You may have a promotion
Lousy job. You're fired.
Next topic: tetration
Spelling bee time
Now spell for us: Tertration
Use in sentence?
Next topic: Fnordiscordia totally sucks at haikus
this haiku was written by fnordiscordia
it's a good one but
the beat count is way way off on it
next:the secrets of the illuminati on sale now
Twenty dollars for
secrets! Get them while they're hot!
Illuminati!
Next: Are Vagans really animals?
vagans are there.
but what are they there?
animals or not?
Next= seventeen equals twenty-three
seven equals me
plus twenty, plus three more, too
i don't like thirty
next topic: the Missing Link Homo Erotis
Some think homo-habillis
Some others think its pre-Erectus
Its reall homo-erotic
Next topic: Paris Hilton being assfucked by a large barnyard animal.
Quote from: FnordiscordiaSome think homo-habillis
Some others think its pre-Erectus
Its reall homo-erotic
Next topic: Paris Hilton being assfucked by a large barnyard animal.
paris hilton knows.
'cause on farms she's been before
an ass is a beast.
NEXT!... train robberies of the pacific northwest
Traveling on train
can be quite taxing if you're
watching *Paris get ass raped by a donkey
*the boy, he's at least human looking, and has the slightest bit of sex appeal. Of course, anyone who would screw Ms. Hilton probably has more STD then you can...uhh...shake a stick at...
Next: Why the fuck did Paris find someone named Paris, who wants to name their children Paris?
Please, there are OTHER CITIES in the world.
Because the name of
Lichtenstein Denver Hilton
was not quite pleasing
Next Topic: Lipstick Traces by Greil Marcus
does not follow suit
this haiku lost direction
long before i wrote
next: i really have to pee right now
My bladder bursting,
A mad dash down the hallway,
Never mind, too late.
Next topic: viagra
as i rushed the hall
to relieve my poor bladder
i got a hard on
(This message paid for by Viagra (TM) )
Next Topic: Hate Crimes (Gay on Bi)
Take that, fence-sitter!
He said, as he raised the
Dildo up again.
Next topic: jumper cables
[this could get long...]
positive, connect
and then the negative one
feel the power surge
i see it coming
and swat away awful
smells that penetrate
left nipple, connect
the right nipple, negative
send a current through
twitch and it will hurt
a little more than you want
but then....go for it
crank up the ampage
propell me into the sink
i love S & M
next topic: All Topic-One Topic- No Topic
there is no topic
haiku game we are all one
with topic haiku
next hurricanes wiping fla off the map
So long Jeb you rube
You will not be missed by
Florida Libbies
Next Topic: Poomping in your pance
take a load off, mate
i didn't mean quite that way
go clean yourself up
next topic: Zombie Malaria (The THing In Laos)
The Mosquito
doesn't care about your traveler's checks
bloooooooooooood
Next Topic: Why do I insist on obscure topics?
i am the walrus
but only if you look hard
through the looking glass
Next topic: Why do I insist on obscure topics?
Quote from: N'yo B?©, Terrorist Zenjai am the walrus
but only if you look hard
through the looking glass
Next topic: Why do I insist on obscure topics?
i am the walrus
but only if you look hard
through the looking glass
Next topic: Bizzare, Cyclic Time loops
Goodmorning, goodafternoon, goodnight
I think I just shat
Goodmorning, goodafternoon, goodnight
[a giant mechanical arm grabs fnordiscordia by the arms, and
propells him from the vicinity]
[Mechanical Voice, Looming] :
"Penalty for Not Choosing a Topic!"
Next Topic: Never whistle while you're pissing
*defenestrates into pile of flax*
I will piss
Now I want to whistle
Piss on hand
Next topic: Where the fuck did those arms come from?
never whistle while
you are pissing seems like good
advice for a man
women can whistle
while pissing sitting down or
lots of other things
next topic: snot the heat, tis the humidity
edit: please ignore fnordie and his weaseling in :roll:
[side note....it's actually a very very bad idea to whistle while you piss,
male or not...see links here:
http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=766839
there's also some physical concerns bout it///]
arms come out my arse
a robotic symbiote
enstates his own rules
Next Topic: the joys of defenestration
It's fun for a while
But buying new glass each day
Gets a bit spendy.
Next topic: This is not my beautiful stapler, this is not my beautiful chair!
Quote from: agent compassionIt's fun for a while
But buying new glass each day
Gets a bit spendy.
Next topic: This is not my beautiful stapler, this is not my beautiful chair!
Hey, David Byrne called.
Stop ripping off his act, yo!
And
Office Space, too.
Next up: Is not following the Haiku structure discordian, or just lazy and ignorant?
Here's my take on things:
Haikus aren't Discordian;
They've too many rules.
The objective, then,
Is religious remonstrance,
Just like hot dog buns.
:D
Next topic: Stupid tourists
[sidebar]
remonstrance?
Fucking awesome, DJ!
[/sidebar]
[sidebar sub-comment]
Um, thanks, I guess. Given that I was trying to link haiku #2 to Barf #3, it seemed fitting to steal some of its language. I'm just glad "remonstrance" is in fact the proper conjugation of "remonstrate". I didn't check until just now. :D
[/sidebar sub-comment]
You sure it's not legal
To get a permit and thin the herd
Of Californians?
No? Damn.
(No offense to the nice Californians we have around here - I'm mainly addressing the ones who came up here in the 90s, bought up all the good real estate, and have spent every waking moment bitching about the weather since. Fuckers. There's a reason it's so green here - it's called rain, and if you don't like it, too goddamn bad!)
rain????
ugghhh, it's waaaaaaaay to hot in cali right now. i'd kill for rain
And I'd help you. It sucks here today, doesn't it?
indeed, i have to mow lawns in this weather.. (that was me post and a half ago)
I like rain a lot better than dead trees and scorching sun.
So do I. We hardly see a single cloud from the end of May to Halloween time.
if a thread is jacked
alone in the forest, then
stick to teh topic
Next topic?
Next Topic: Eric and Aini.
you are teh suxor
haiku sare 5, 7, 5
not event rying
next: why do we never stay on topic here :?
Topic is teh suck
First Post! yells Slashdot luser
All else is chaos
Next Topic: Yellow
they call me mellow
yellow quite rightly I'm just
mad about saffron
next: global warming sux, even if it doesn't exist :roll:
"But it does exist!
Why, just look at the ice age!"
"That was not our fault!"
Next Topic: The Virtues of Cooking with Cast-Iron Skillets
Behold! The burnt bits
they come off much easier
then with cast-iron
next: Iron Chef (the origonal japonese version) rocks. Alot.
Duh, of course it rocks.
The Japanese do stuff better.
Especially porn.
Next Topic: ANIME TENTACLE PORN!!!
The Scrid does not do
Hentai. If you ask nicely he does
know how to pleasure you, though.
What's the Next Topic?
I am lost in a sea of
Possibility.
Next Topic: The Five Elements (and I expect five verses!)
there was a band named
earth, wind and fire, were water
and ether just lost?
next: crazy band names
We have no message
Our music is void of meaning
But our name is cool
Next Topic: Ms Haversham
Quote from: the other anonymousWhat's the Next Topic?
I am lost in a sea of
Possibility.
Next Topic: The Five Elements (and I expect five verses!)
Sweet is the first One
an elemental taste test
brings sweet to the front
BOOM! BOOM! We were Shook
At the thunderous rolling
Second Element
It all was Pungent
In the wake of the next verse
But that don't stop me
They say the Prickle
Is the strongest Element
They are just kooky
But Orange is the 1337
Nothing can rhyme with it's name
Not even more Orange
[sorry, had to]
Next Topic: Ms Haversham
Satin-swaddled wraith,
Hey! Watch out! That's flammable!
Charcoal, anyone?
Next topic: It's carbecue season!
Ode to the shotgun
Double-barrelled offering
The boomstick prevails
Next topic: Why ban BGP?
WHY BAN ME!?!
WHY DID YOU BAN ME!?!?!
WHY ME!?
Quote from: Buddha's Ghost PenisNext topic: Why ban BGP?
WHY BAN ME!?!
WHY DID YOU BAN ME!?!?!
WHY ME!?
BECAUSE YOU DID NOT USE THE PROPER SYLLABLES
Next Topic: The Complete Lack of Topic
MMMMM
MMMMMMM
MMMMM
Next Topic: What each point on the 8-star of chaos means.
Quote from: the other anonymousNext Topic: The Complete Lack of Topic
MMMMM
MMMMMMM
MMMMM
Next Topic: What each point on the 8-star of chaos means.
IntoxiChrist does not like the Crash Test Dummies.
Quote from: IntoxiChristQuote from: the other anonymousNext Topic: The Complete Lack of Topic
MMMMM
MMMMMMM
MMMMM
Next Topic: What each point on the 8-star of chaos means.
IntoxiChrist does not like the Crash Test Dummies.
I've been called a name
I do not know what it means.
Please explain, kind sir.
Quote from: the other anonymousQuote from: IntoxiChristQuote from: the other anonymousNext Topic: The Complete Lack of Topic
MMMMM
MMMMMMM
MMMMM
Next Topic: What each point on the 8-star of chaos means.
IntoxiChrist does not like the Crash Test Dummies.
I've been called a name
I do not know what it means.
Please explain, kind sir.
Nothing, good sir
I do not play Name Calling
That game's for idjits.
Quote from: IntoxiChristQuote from: the other anonymousQuote from: IntoxiChristQuote from: the other anonymousNext Topic: The Complete Lack of Topic
MMMMM
MMMMMMM
MMMMM
Next Topic: What each point on the 8-star of chaos means.
IntoxiChrist does not like the Crash Test Dummies.
I've been called a name
I do not know what it means.
Please explain, kind sir.
Nothing, good sir
I do not play Name Calling
That game's for idjits.
Okay then, kind sir.
Shall we continue this game
That is called haiku?
Next Topic: Where is Jenny Jones now?
Oh, now I get it!
The mm-mm-mm song.
Quote from: the other anonymousQuote from: IntoxiChristQuote from: the other anonymousQuote from: IntoxiChristQuote from: the other anonymousNext Topic: The Complete Lack of Topic
MMMMM
MMMMMMM
MMMMM
Next Topic: What each point on the 8-star of chaos means.
IntoxiChrist does not like the Crash Test Dummies.
I've been called a name
I do not know what it means.
Please explain, kind sir.
Nothing, good sir
I do not play Name Calling
That game's for idjits.
Okay then, kind sir.
Shall we continue this game
That is called haiku?
Next Topic: Where is Jenny Jones now?
Ha! Jenny Jones
Crackwhore for blowjobs in snow
Blah blah blah the end
[zenja cuts intoxichrist without warning]
read the r00lz, d00d.
[not that i care, but..]
if you don't end you post with a "next topic" it kinda throws a kink in the
game flow... arse//
Next topic: I Think I smell a Dead Fella
horrible smell a
stench so bad it must be a
rotting dead fella
next: fractals, ooh, sparkly
Swirly swirly, not
a toilet, but a fractal
Eldora is geek!
Next Topic: This is no topic but your topic, and it is your topic.
it is my topic
i love haikus, i'm happy
we are writing them :D
next: why can't we all get along, like we do in the haiku thread :(
CANNOT GET ALONG
WAR IS ALWAYS HUMAN NATURE
I LIKE KITTENS
NEXT TOPIC: CAPS IS LAME
when people type in
all caps it sounds like yelling
in my head, it sux
next: no caps
HAVE LOST CAPS
KEY BOARD STUCK LIKE THIS
CALL ME TURD
Next topic: Why pedophiles are teh suck.
that topic's creepy
I would rather write about
why you suck, fnordie
next: did fnordie forget which window he was typing in?
So many windows!
If you thought that was creepy,
How about this one:
Next Topic: Does Jon-Benet Ramsey's reanimated corpse spit or swallow?
Please ignore that post.
I have a disturbing sense
of humor. Sorry.
Next Topic: Should we kill toa?
What is a To-a?
can one eat it quickly?
i will eat toa
Next Topic: Cannibalism, Not just for cows anymore.
An acronymn for
the other anonymous.
I am not good food.
(That was kinda on-topic...)
Next Topic: Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Outdated fluff or insightful cultural critique?
outdated fluff yes
in the worst possible way
i like opium
Up Next: Non Sequitur and the Red Herrings
"The ducks are our friends.
Therefore, our friends are ducks, no?"
"ILLUMINATE THEM!!!"
Next Topic: If Opium is the religion of the masses and marajuana is the discordianism of the lunatic fringe, then what is Cheese?
Cheese is the glue that
hold the universe apart
I like gouda best
next topic: lesbians trapped in men's bodies
Over-used Cliche!
Damn stereotypes suck ass.
Picking new topic.
I rule this thread now!
I can ignore topics if I want.
I can even ignore syllable counts.
Okay, whatever.
I won't screw around too much.
But I do still rule!
Next Topic: Huge Avatars and Why They Suck
huge avatars suck mothafuckers!!
die bitch ima kill green beanssss
whattt now
and i like sockss wirh may forka
heeee i forget hwo haiku
the many end!
next topic: WTF IS UP WIT MEE?
I do not know, sir.
Perhaps it does not matter.
Your post is ignored!
Next Topic: Worship and Praise for me, The Haiku God!
I have deposed you.
There is no God but my God
I am, therefore, she.
Next: Where is the pickle?
THE MISSING PICKLE
WHY DID YOU BAN ME?!?!?
CAN'T FIND IT
NEXT TOPIC: Why ban Buddha's Ghost Penis?
buddha's ghost penis
gets banned for being pesty
over there not here
so stfu :roll:
next: what possesses people to want to get kicked out of a place :?
i don't want your game
i can make a better one
hey, don't laugh at me!
next topic: The plural of Phallus is Phalluses (Greek Semantics), but the plural Penis is Penii (Latin Semantics)
The plural of disk
Is "You're an asshole, asshole!"
I thinks that is right.
Next: Kumquats are our friends
kumquats are our friends
when they come to our house, whore!
they make good bath toys
next: rubber ducks are cooler then ninjas and pirates
i am a ninja
i am also a pirate
with ducky jammies
Next Topic: Fjord!
A long and narrow
arm of the sea running be-
tween high, rocky cliffs
Wow, my dictionary's definition is a haiku! MY THRONE HAS BEEN REPOSSESSED!
Now I pay my fines:
There is no future
No greener pasture awaits
Woe, I'm not emo!
Next Topic: LMNO-PI's next update.
when will there be a
new LMNO-PI
we are all waiting
next: are we all writing more of his story than LMNO is :shock: :?
All write the story
i write someone's, you write his
he writes mine as well
Next Topic: where the sidewalk ends, turns into a fractal, does a double backwards sommersault and lands on it's firmamnet again.
where the sidewalk ends
turns into a fractal, does
a double backwards
sommersault and lands
on it's firmamnet again.
Wow, complex topic.
But, with some effort,
I believe I may be able
to out-do that one.
Next Topic: Einstein's Feild Equation
you bastard, those are
my dreams but you are welcome
to all my nightmares
next: how many of us use fractals in our avatars :?
Mine is not Fractal
Per se, But it does Shimmer
warped a claddagh gif
E equals M C
a square by any other
name is still a square
[so was einstein]
Next Topic: i'm a little teapot
I'm a little teapot
Short and stout, mutha fucka!
Represent Pittsburgh!
(... I guess that means I'm the kettle...)
Next Topic: I'm so white, I drove Dave Chappelle insane!
i am so white I
reflect a lot of light and
dave chappelle went blind
which drove him insane
it went right through his brain and
he was nuttier
next: why is it called the dog days of summer?
dog days of summer:
they make you sweat like a pig
Oink Woof Oink Woof Moo
Next Topic: plushophilia
I fucked my teddy
strategically placed hole
white squishy foam guts
Next Up:
Anachronistic summation of Jimmy Carter's 1977,Äì1981 term as a pole-dancer in down-town Washington.
Quote from: the other anonymousdog days of summer:
they make you sweat like a pig
Oink Woof Oink Woof Moo
Next Topic: plushophilia
Pigs don't sweat.
http://www.edhelper.com/AnimalReadingComprehension_109_1.html
Quote from: LMNOQuote from: the other anonymousdog days of summer:
they make you sweat like a pig
Oink Woof Oink Woof Moo
Next Topic: plushophilia
Pigs don't sweat.
http://www.edhelper.com/AnimalReadingComprehension_109_1.html
And you complain about me over explaining things :roll: :lol:
Somewhere in there was a King Missile reference, I suppose I was being too elusive.
Quote from: LMNOSomewhere in there was a King Missile reference, I suppose I was being too elusive.
Apparently and I have no clue what you are talking about :lol:
I like having someone else besides me around here that is too smart for their own good, you just can't find a lot of people like that anymore. :wink: Mostly they are just too stupid to be allowed to live :roll:
DETACHABLE PENIS!!!!!!
:D
where did all the haikus go
long time co-oo-ming, where did all the
haikus go long time ago
next: bowling
"To Walk Among The Pigs" - King Missile
To walk among the Pigs,
To go where the Pigs go,
And do as the Pigs do.
To inhale the pungent stench of the Pigs,
And truly savor the Scent.
To sing the Song of the Pigs,
To build up a repoire,
To be one with the Pigs.
To work shoulder to shoulder with the Pigs,
On Piglike projects.
To sweat like a Pig,
And then to realize that Pigs never sweat.
To wallow in the mud with the Pigs.
To experience absolutely all that Pigness entails.
To hear,
To see,
To feel like a Pig.
To think,
Eat,
And smell like a Pig.
To comprehend completely what it is to be a Pig.
To fully understand that you,
The Pigs,
And all other things in the Universe,
Are of the same ilk.
And then, to weed out all Non-Piggish things,
To fully cultivate and allow to blossom,
The Flower that is the Pig within your Soul.
And to finally stand alone,
In the Garden of the Absolute,
And pray,
And pray,
And pray,
Like a Pig.
The applicable lyric bolded for Great Comprehensive Justice...
Quote from: LMNOSomewhere in there was a King Missile reference, I suppose I was being too elusive.
:lol:
Play with balls
I wish I was big
The big Labowski
Next topic: If you lost your penis, where would it be?
In the belly of
my polyester girlfriend.
I think I'm out now?
Next Topic: Do we think any less of this toa freak?
one one, one zero
one zero one zero one
one zero zero
[yes]
Next Topic: taxedermy and roadkill
dead animals are
lots of fun on lonely nights
I'm such a loser
Next Topic: Peter Griffin versus Homer Simpson
No one posts for days
CHANGE TOPIC FOR GREAT JUSTICE
Venus needs Haikus!
Next Topic: We know what Mars wants; what does Mercury want?
the swift-footed one
knows the secret paths of mind
he seeks but to rest
Coming up next on the Haiku Channel: The Points
points are teh many
many have points and some don't
this was pointless, yes?
Next Topic: Clever Monkies
The Monkeys, clever,
I just wish I knew enough
to reference them.
Next Topic: Scraballah
we have Scrabble nuts
and Kabbalah fanatics
and now Skrabbalah
next: living dead girls
i know i'm alive
but i'm just dragging my feet
through the hours and days
up next: you scratch my back, i'll lick yours
Please do not do that.
Oh, now you've gone and done it!
How does acne taste?
[Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww.]
Next Topic: that squiggly thing on page 64 of the PD.
How many times do
I have to tell you that's a
Scrid, sir, it's a Scrid.
Next topic: Brown ketchup? With lobster?
in a lithe gully
a brown ketchup is roaming
in search of lobster
Next Topic: The Stranger
The Cure - not racist.
Blame it on Albert Camus:
Existentialist.
Here we go with: Mia Kirshner.
i meant the other stranger.
like...when your hand goes numb..
Quote from: N'yo B?©, Terrorist Zenjai meant the other stranger.
like...when your hand goes numb..
Really, I was thinking Billy Joel or The Doors :?
uhhh..huhhuh....shut up, bevis.
Raised in Toronto
by her journalist father
and mother, teacher.
[Wow, IMDb has descriptions in haiku!]
Next Topic: Michelle Trachtenberg -- the Every-Little-Sister and why it's still so disturbing to fantasize about her (and if that disturbs you, it only proves my point!)
She is very hot
She was too young to be hot in Buffy
She = HAWT in Eurotrip
(most especially the part where she makes out with her twin brother. That got me very hot...)
Next: Having sex with a pair of twins = OMFG YES!!!11!!!
You want me to... WHAT?!
That's my sister. You're so gross.
Get away from me!
Next topic: Hot Topic.
Strange foreign concept
An expensive store for clones
Come back in 5 years
Next topic:
Sleep deprivation
Drowning in a fog
Of my own brain chemicals
Don't sleep in the Hive...
Next Topic: Meighan Desmond
I do not know her
I do not care I want Bea
Arthur's vagina
Next: Why? Because I can.
You don't know Eris
From that Kevin Sorbo show?
She is teh hotty!
(Topic is ignored
Because I can ignore it!
So there, Zurtok Khan!)
Next Topic: "Zurtok Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaann!!"
Decendent of Khan
Why do you stroke your Long Face?
"I Come From Zurtok."
Next Topic: And Then SHe Was Illuminated
Illumination
is for wimps and greyfaces
I prefer psychening!
Next Topic: Roger, will you marry me?
Rog and toa
sitting in a tree K-I-
S-S-I-N-G
next: wasting time with haikus is creative disorder, or is it :?
Of course it isn't.
Creative Order, dummy.
There are rules to it.
Try out: An Example of Creative Disorder.
haikus can be creative disorder if i want them to be because i said so and i am the boss of haikus and youre not so there and i dont care what that other guy says either cuz haikus are fun and fun is a necessary part of life and even beavis likes haikus so there
next wtf was that
that was a big fruit
flavoured pygmy hampster
of doom on the rocks!!!
Next: they should invent a drink called fruit flavoured pygmy hampster
Quote from: mian tiao noodleNext: they should invent a drink called fruit flavoured pygmy hampster
Chambord, Midori,
One miniature rodent,
Close your eyes and shoot.
Next up: Rule #1, beeyotch!
rule number one is
keep your mouth shut, do not brag
or else you get caught
Rule number two is:
Specify a new topic!
It's mandatory.
Next Topic: Relativity
Relativity
Is the study of how stuff
Interacts with stuff
Next topic: July of 1932
1932
Was a long time before I
was even born.
Next topic: Cheese on top, fruit on the bottom, what the hell are you eating?
Quote from: agent compassion1932
Was a long time before I
was even born.
Next topic: Cheese on top, fruit on the bottom, what the hell are you eating?
Cheese flavoured goodness,
with healthy fruit at bottom:
I must be in hell.
Next up: Chinese people and the zeppelin.
Watch that mother burn!
There goes that Hindenburg thing
I feel like spring rolls.
Next:
Obscene phonecalls
:Breathing and panting:
"Hello? Is this some sick joke?"
and dial tone hums...
Next Topic: These are tje Days of Our Lives
Hope is the hottest!
Bow before her loveliness!
Like sand in my pants...
Next Topic: Where should Roger and I get married?
marry in vegas
by elvis presley's ghost or
impersonator
next: when's the date?
The date is not set
He has not answered me yet!
I'm sure he'll say Yes.
Next Topic: Should I sell the bathroom tapes on eBay to pay for the caterer?
yes
yes
yes
Next Topic: Missing Fruit
My fruit is missing
I left it in the big store
I go to Wal-mart because I'm a whore.
Next: Why Zurtok will be breaking up with his girlfriend.
You know i love you
but i just can't stand your dog
for this, i'm leaving.
Next Topic: North American Kwijibo
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerAll this talk about
Haiku makes Good Rev Roger
Reach for gasoline.
NEXT TOPIC: Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Fit THAT in a fooking haiku!
Funny, I thought Roger didn't like haikus, wellAntidisestab-
lishmentarianism
fits nice in haiku
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerAll this talk about
Haiku makes Good Rev Roger
Reach for gasoline.
NEXT TOPIC: Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Fit THAT in a fooking haiku!
Funny, I thought Roger didn't like haikus, well
Antidisestab-
lishmentarianism
fits nice in haiku
1. What makes you think I dislike Haikus?
2. YUO FORGOT THA NEXT TOPIC!
QuoteBrethren and Cistern, the time has come for The Good Reverend to renounce Discordianism as a failure...a rather silly failure, at that. Nothing has been accomplished in two years of bullshit, "creative disorder" is a sad joke, and all the blog threads and imaginary bars on the internet haven't saved you.
Face it, you're fucked, and you have nobody to blame but yourself. Instead of using discordianism to disrupt - even for a few precious seconds - The Machine(tm), you have used it to play haiku games and to form factions. The "commandment" that Discordians must stick apart has been warped out of usefulness. You remembered the "apart" thing, but not the "stick" part, didn't you?
1 :P
2 :P
3 I agree that we are sticking too far apart, how's that for a next topic :wink:
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyQuoteBrethren and Cistern, the time has come for The Good Reverend to renounce Discordianism as a failure...a rather silly failure, at that. Nothing has been accomplished in two years of bullshit, "creative disorder" is a sad joke, and all the blog threads and imaginary bars on the internet haven't saved you.
Face it, you're fucked, and you have nobody to blame but yourself. Instead of using discordianism to disrupt - even for a few precious seconds - The Machine(tm), you have used it to play haiku games and to form factions. The "commandment" that Discordians must stick apart has been warped out of usefulness. You remembered the "apart" thing, but not the "stick" part, didn't you?
1 :P
2 :P
3 I agree that we are sticking too far apart, how's that for a next topic :wink:
That doesn't say I
dislike them.
Sticking apart?
http://principiadiscordia.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=6237&start=0
Sure. And I take that - like everything else - personally.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerThat doesn't say I dislike them.
Sticking apart?
http://principiadiscordia.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=6237&start=0
Sure. And I take that - like everything else - personally.
Well, you can understand why I would think that from the way it was written, can't you?
I didn't write it
the poll sucked big time, for sure
Donkey Otay's fault
Next: Why did Donk's poll suck so bad?
that up there /\ was me, oops :(
Quote from: AnonymousQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerThat doesn't say I dislike them.
Sticking apart?
http://principiadiscordia.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=6237&start=0
Sure. And I take that - like everything else - personally.
Well, you can understand why I would think that from the way it was written, can't you?
I didn't write it
the poll sucked big time, for sure
Donkey Otay's fault
Next: Why did Donk's poll suck so bad?
1. That depends. Are you reading what I wrote, or what you expected me to write? Notice the subtle difference.
2. Donk is just fine. It was the poll results, not the poll itself. I gather that I have not been
enough of a dick. (That poll was also one of the two reasons I deleted my posts.)
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
1. That depends. Are you reading what I wrote, or what you expected me to write? Notice the subtle difference.
2. Donk is just fine. It was the poll results, not the poll itself. I gather that I have not been enough of a dick. (That poll was also one of the two reasons I deleted my posts.)
I don't do subtle differences :lol: You were making fun of people who particiapte in certain subforums in general and some threads in particular which made it appear that you do not care for those said subforums and threads, you see?
No, I am pretty sure the poll sucked, there could have been better choices and more of them, I tried, but he's young and thinks he knows it all, hehehe :P
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
I don't do subtle differences :lol: You were making fun of people who particiapte in certain subforums in general and some threads in particular which made it appear that you do not care for those said subforums and threads, you see?
No, I am pretty sure the poll sucked, there could have been better choices and more of them, I tried, but he's young and thinks he knows it all, hehehe :P
1. You're reading too much into it. You should have stopped with: "You were making fun of people".
2. No, I am pretty sure that the results are accurate. Hate isn't the opposite of love, after all...indifference is. Ergo, I shall have to make people hate me, which would be a step up, yes?
My poll is better
I just posted it for you
can thank me later :wink:
next back to haikus
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyMy poll is better
I just posted it for you
can thank me later :wink:
next back to haikus
Better?
Again, I know a trick worth two of that.
WTF?
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyWTF?
"Aw, poh widdle Woger got his feewings hurt!"
1. You deliberately ignored my post concerning why the poll results (Donk's) pissed me off, and posted that shit.
2. You then ran out and waved your skewed interpretation all over the place, and pretended that it wasn't a sly, hypocritical jab. Well, I can't say I have a right to complain (my own motives for returning considered), but please don't play the innocent, okay?
My poll was OG
Eldora's was teh crappy
copy like Eric
Quote from: DonkeyotayMy poll was OG
Eldora's was teh crappy
copy like Eric
:lol:
Next topic?
Next Topic: What would Horab do?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
1. You're reading too much into it. You should have stopped with: "You were making fun of people".
2. No, I am pretty sure that the results are accurate. Hate isn't the opposite of love, after all...indifference is. Ergo, I shall have to make people hate me, which would be a step up, yes?
http://kaegogi.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=1162#1162
HEY! THIS IS MY THREAD!
I'm the one true haiku god!
STOP THE BITCHING NOW!
Next Topic: Unicorns. Happy, dancing Unicorns, dammit!
The happy dancing
unicorns are scarier
than all of this crap
next: Oscar the Grouch
My trashcan monster
Has a first name, and it is
O S C A R
Next up: hot dogs, with or without buns
I had a friend once
he ate a hot dog, and now
he thinks he's a bun
Next Topic: Sing For Absolution
Fa la la la la
Absolution's for sinners
Sinning don't exist
Fa la la la la
Fa la la la-freakin-la
Fa la la la la
Next Topic: Who the hell is Eric?
Eric was a guy
He was nice then he turned weird
Not for the first time
Next: Are all the sane people on vacation?
Weather: 95
F, percent humidity.
I need outta here!
Next: oranges and lobsters
a sunburn makes you
look red like a lobster but
you peel like an orange
it becomes habit
and annoys the rest of us
include a topic!!!
Next Topic: Beans and Rice
hot hot red beans ow
my tastebuds beg for riceness
buzzards hasten, vile
what color is the devil's marking pen?
Satan likes vandalism
His pen is definitely black
It shows best.
Next topic: Heh, pen is
PEN IS MIGHTIER
MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD IS
BUT NOTHING CAN STOP MY SHAOLIN ATTACKS!
NEXT TOPIC: WAS THE TETRARCHY THE DEATH KNELL TO THE ROMAN EMPIRE?
smoke disperses, grim
goat forgiving snail drifting
serpents mutter "yes"
new topic: bricklaying
red lies upon red
in infinite squareness wall
drifts like a cloud
next topic ... acid trips
frozen cloud purrs, green
starflower prays, snoring stones
snapping mailbox grieves
next one - corn pops vs pop corn
breakfast serial
sugared balls in bovine broth
exploding seeds flower
next topic...meat :shock:
tugging flesh sagging
groaning putrid bloated, crows
laughing richly gorge
next: sammy davis
bright black glitter
fluidly fluttering complex steps
blind as a rock
next topic...belly button lint
Belly button lint
I don't ever get it
Must know origin
Next topic: "NONSENSE POOPYPANTS!"
Quote from: FnordiscordiaBelly button lint
I don't ever get it
Must know origin
Next topic: "NONSENSE POOPYPANTS!"
I have no toilet,
So I must POOMP in my PANCE,
Why does God hate me?
Next topic: I live in a mantion, you live in tense.
empty frantic braggart
anacondas mumbling prince
boasting smiling snake
next: why the sky is green
The green sky
It happened because of my
camera fuckery
Next topic: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=6370
drugs are bad, mmkay?
please try not to use the net
while under their spell
next topic:
Jesusfish stickers
I like drugs
I made jesus fish stickers
with pat roberts
fucking a goat
but I have misplaced them
Next topic: Are dingleberries real?
dingling berries
so exquisite in taste
grow only in mind
next topic...the declining popularity of George W. Bush's handling of the war in Iraq
nation despairs, loud
malignant morbid firstborn
disgracing us all
next up: snap crackle pop
Pop, pop, crackle, snap;
That's just climbing out of bed.
Getting older sucks!
Next up: avocados
peel and cut it up
squish it good within a bowl
yum, phlegm coloured dip
---> next topic: fruit flies
harvesting gently
squishy, yearning fruity dreams
buzzing heartlessly
next: just killing time
placing the stopwatch
under my hammer, and squish
one less timepiece lives
next topic: robot porn
lube up my pistons
her carberator purrrrrs
machinegasm
next topic... peeing your pants in public
droplets fizzle ooze
bumble tumble, spread
old stains reappear
next topic: it takes what it takes
Trolling like a fiend,
A moral imperative,
I gotta be me.
Next topic: Dumb ass blog threads.
Rapacious clown writes
Humbly, while lewd bullies taunt
Then shrugs, uncaring
Next: Three ring circus
In the Bizzaro Beat
Circus Donkey played the bass
while Jesus ranted
Next topic: Da Bears
Da three Bears snooze, dumb
blonde wishing some hot porridge
appears, pwns them
Next: vicks vapor rub
VICS VAPOR RUB
RUB ON MY
TUMMY TUM TUM
Due to the lack of a topic, I'll repeat the old topic:
Rub some on my chest,
Inhale my minty-fresh boobs.
Kinda like nurse porn.
Next Topic: The Daily Show
MR JON JON
MAKES ME GIGGLE
CAUSING MY TUMMY TO JIGGLE
NEXT TOPIC: SWOLLEN PROSTATE
Often, when watching
Jessica Simpson videos
my prostate explodes
Next Up: Jack the Ripper's zipper
Jack the Ripper had
no zipper, they had not been
invented yet, duh
next:the scariness of Spongebob Squarepants :shock:
Spongebob's not so bad
But don't blow your cover yet...
Squidward knows your scent
next: dilapidated thing(s)
i saw a strange thing
it sat, dilapitated
it was not alone
Next Topic: What are the Things? What have they done to me?
Things, they're numerous
A plethora of things that
write bad haikus
Next topic: If you could kill one member of the Hair Bear Bunch, which would you kill and why?
i would choose to kill
the Emo Bear in us all
but they're endangered
Next Topic: Open Season
Tear the foil packet.
Now my ramen has flavor.
Um, such as it is....
Next up: Masochism
Holding a pencil
He shouts, "Stick it it your eye!"
I sure surprised him
Next topic: Deadends of Evolution
The animal which
consisted only of spikes
couldn't do too much.
Next------> Robert Anton Wilson's case of halitosis
His mouth smells as bog
No one offers him spearmint
Shan't embarrass RAW
And our next contestant is..... How I learned to love my six-legged brethren
Creepy critters can
Crunch quite cacophonously.
Capable Keds, kid!
Next Topic: Anything, as long as the Haiku is alliterated.
WHo has heard Heralds?
He who has hummed has heard Hymn
But He has halted
Next topic: Pun something
Gruff pirate captain
Sends mutinous sailor to
Walk with the plankton
El topico proximo... !Onomatopoeia!
Whoosh! Thud! Bang! Crash! Boom!
Can I be a Supreme Court Judge too?
They sound like monkeys.
(DON'T COUNT MY SYLLABLES OR I'LL THWACK YOU!)
Next Topic: The Importance of Counting Syllables
Counting syllables really
important just like sentence strucvture
spelling. and grammar,
Next Topic: Whatever floats your goat.
Haiku scheme irks me
Still, I stick to it
Because these nuns wield rulers
And our next contestant is: Exactly where do they get off, anyway?
31 Westbound,
To downtown transit center.
Guess this is my stop!
Next up: fighting fire with fire
with conflagration
drastic measures sometimes mean
fighting fire with fire
[lops off eldora's head]
you've been warned.
* * *
8 8
how can i argue
intelligent design with
non-intelligence?
next topic: the stiff penalties of not including a Next Topic
it is much safer
to go running with scissors
then face N'yo's wrath
Next Topic: Hot Topic
At Hot Topic I
Buy boots and pink tiaras
and big cat slippers
NEXT, don't forget the next or else :roll:
or surfing the 'net headless, whichever you prefer :lol:
"Surfin' while headless"
Unintelligible stuff
Wanna buy a car?
Next Topic: Name that tune!
What the fuck
Is the name of that
Goddamn song?
Next topic: "Its like putting AOL CD's into your microwave: it just works!"
Microwaves are bad!
Cooking poorly with weird light.
Radiation sucks!
[Air: Surfing on a rocket]
Next Topic: LMNO IS BACK!
He returns, dragging
his act in a gunny sack
bunny gets to live.
Next topic: anti-mod revolution.
I think that's the first time I've seen rog post a haiku...
::ahem::
A place without rules!
Tubgirl/Goatse* forever!
WHY DID YUO BAN ME?
Next up - The occasional benefits of structure.
* I pronounce this "goat-sea".
Quote from: LMNOI think that's the first time I've seen rog post a haiku...
::ahem::
A place without rules!
Tubgirl/Goatse* forever!
WHY DID YUO BAN ME?
Next up - The occasional benefits of structure.
* I pronounce this "goat-sea".
:lol:
(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/mittens.gif)
However, I have posted many haikus.
My bad.
Quote from: LMNOI think that's the first time I've seen rog post a haiku...
::ahem::
A place without rules!
Tubgirl/Goatse* forever!
WHY DID YUO BAN ME?
Next up - The occasional benefits of structure.
* I pronounce this "goat-sea".
This is the correct pronounciation.
Chaos and Order
Forties and fat blunts
This Haiku sucks.
Next topic: Why mainstream hip hop sucks.
Where my bitches at?
Rollin on dubs, drinkin Cris,
I'm from the suburbs...
Next one: The downside of starring in German fisting videos.
AAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!
I think I just gave birth
TO YOUR HAND!!!
[Yea, you try counting syllables after that...]
Next Topic: Four more apples and no one cares
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I have apple
Now I have four apple
Nobody cares.
Next topic:
(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y128/fnordiscordia/b967b329.jpg)
Fnord pads and bloody
gonads, pus, phlegm and strife is
what is expected.
Next topic: Eris
Fake Goddess on high,
You give us the excuse we
need: because I can.
Next poster can pick his/her own topic.
The Good Revered
said write what you will and this
is all I could do
Next Topic: Why Baron von Hoopla thinks he is above the sacred rules of the Haiku post.
baron von hoopla
being a discordian
makes up his own rules
next topic: why everyone else follows the rules so strictly
having no rules
and doing what you want to
is fun for a time
creativity
a clever way to get around
imposed restrictions
but even with focus
one must sometimes need
a break from
it all
next topic: write a coherent haiku without nouns
shitting on fucking
while nounless fucking shitting occurs
without having
butterfly in the sky, i can fly twice as high, take a look it's in a book, it's reading rainbow
monarch butterfly
you flew into my windshield
now you are bug goo
Next topic: Why didn't someone make a next topic?
she was into it
moment of fiery wit
she posts excited
Next Topic: Family Value 8)
You could get a buck
For the children, but the mom
will cost you double.
:D
Next topic - Christmas in September
Christmas came early
Seems a polar shift
Hath fuckered up white Christmas
Oops...breach in protocol! I forgot to select a topic...I will atone for this transgression by writing another haiku....
Topic: Einstein was a bit stodgy at times (no offense, I hope)--
Cards fall randomly
God does not play dice
But he loves Texas Hold'em
Next Topic: Symbolic logic is a pile of steaming hoo-ha
if logic is good
god will stop me from bashing
it's symbology
nest topic: counting Pi in your spare time (don't use numbers)
Another digit.
I guess I'm done for the day.
How many are left?
Next Topic: One out of Five believes the Sun revolves around the Earth.
It's in the Bible
You cannot argue with God
The earth is flat too.
Next topic
Overzealous use of smilies.
Look! It's Eldora...
"hehehehehehehe.
Also, hehehe."
Next: Why I'm being so mean lately.
laughter is the best
medicine, LMNO
you need more of it
:shock: :P :lol: :twisted:
next: why are people so afraid to laugh and smile and express themselves with abundant smilies :lol:
my laughter is gold
yet i feel no need to bash
others' eyes with smiles
next topic: avoiding an UTI
What is UTI?
Ubar retarded idiot of course;
They're best ignored.
Next topic: WHY 4 DO UTI STEP?!
Prelude to a burn
you fucked the hot chick last night
not a UTI
Next: What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common?
Walmart equals store
Michael Jackson is a pedophile
These are different.
OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!
Someone forgot a topic!
Now there shall be Doooooooooooom!!!
Next Topic: Superstitions regarding Greyface and why the reluctance to draw Greyface actually gives him a mysterious allure that can be damaging to future generations of Discordians.
I've got Jesus
Yes i do, i got jesus
how about you?
noext topic: pubic elves...
{if you're still wondering, UTI is urinary tract infection :twisted: }
Elves fucking suck
TOA is a fucking mongoloid
So is Trees.
Next topic: Why ninjas are better than pirates.
this does not exist:
a famous actor who chose
to play a ninja.
Next topic: Why pirates are cooler than ninjas.
shake ye bilges at der boats yarr!
taker down slow an deaser in th eb back with soem rum
and a bucket of jum
ro hoho ho me hearteys!
Mysteries are cool
I wish I knew what to write
Bruce Willis is old.
Next Topic: Of all the movies filmed in Pittsburgh, which one didn't suck?
CAMP KILL YOURSELF
IS THE NOT SUCK MOVIE
NOW TO GIGGLES!
NEXT TOPIC: UNFUNNY MULTIPLES MUST BE BANNED!
Masturbatory
Posting of inane drivel
So many shitheads.
Next: hallucinating hermaphroditic dinosaurs during a solar eclipse
female dinsaurs
used parthenogenesis
to procreate and
they saw sparkley lights
did they have migraines or was
it solar eclipse
next what's for dinner
what is for dinner?
why, it's yummy lisagne!
i will not share this.
NT: why is everyone grouchy?
I am not grouchy.
I just want a trout picture
So I can publish!
Next Topic: A fish, a fish, a fishie-oh!
Ernie: HERE FISHIE
Bert: here fishie, Ernie: yell
Bert: ARRRGGGHHH Ernie: Yeah
Ernie: Yeah, like that
Bert: HERE FISHIE, FISHIE, AHHH
OMG, it works
next: Oscar the Grouch
why am a grouch?
the smack has run out you see,
i am a junkie!
that's why i'm all green
and my teeth are falling out
and live in the trash
Next Topic: Why Hemorrhoids and Assorted Anal Pus Sacs
are better than my haiku
I have no idea
How to answer that topic.
So I won't bother.
Next Topic: SONNET!
First Line: "How do I pwn thee? Let me count the ways..."
Quote from: the other anonymousI have no idea
How to answer that topic.
So I won't bother.
Next Topic: SONNET!
First Line: "How do I pwn thee? Let me count the ways..."
Nope.
Haikus or you will face the Satisfaction GUARANTEED committee.
hiakus only or
Satisfaction GUARANTEED
committee gets you
:evil:
Next, we have rules here? when did that happen :lol:
It's been said before.
Look for some haiku I wrote
Using "remonstrance".
Next up: that little sprig of parsley on your plate of IHOP food
Oh verdant garnish!
Adorn mine pancacke
With resplendent pulchritude
Next topic: Those magnificent mitochondria...
mitochondria
have dna so we can
trace populations
next what color hair do pirates have?
Pirates note with care
Beard length and color
Few cop to a head of hair
El topico proximo es.....Oh that wacky Orpheus!
just a head he was,
Orpheus the Argonaut
on shores of Lesbos
Next wtf is up with the Greeks :twisted:
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemyjust a head he was,
Orpheus the Argonaut
on shores of Lesbos
Next wtf is up with the Greeks :twisted:
Made Democracy.
Didn't like to pay teachers.
Don't trust the old men.
Next Topic: How lame is my Tarot/Font?
Fonts are never lame
They just need a little help
formatting sometimes.
Next topic: How did that get up there?
Hey that thing up there
Wearing not any underwears
Don't POOP ON MY HEAD!
Next topid: Edible Lego's?
Quote from: neongenesis816Hey that thing up there
Wearing not any underwears
Don't POOMP ON MY HEAD!
Next topid: Edible Lego's?
Fixed.
Red, Yellow, Blue, Green, Black
Crunchy, Chewey, And They Are
Going to choke YOU!
The Legos: Eaten
The Message Board: Delicious
The Next Topic: Lost
The Next Topic: Lost
LOL omfg,
wtf teh fuxx1ng map
I CANT FIND UR H0USE
Next topic: http://ssshotaru.homestead.com/files/aolertranslator.html
English, we mourn thee
Internet has wrought your end
j00 5h411 b3 4v3ng3d!11!!!!1!
Next topic: You got a tattoo WHERE?
On My Big Fat Ass
My Girlfriends Name Jennifer
Too Bad Shes A Man
Next topic: grilled cheese and catholic mass.
Now that's what I call
A proper Sunday, virgins
and cheese on toast.
:twisted:
Next topic: I thought it was Pepto-Bismol.
Oh My God That Was
An Intense Shitting Session
Please Save Me From Poo!!!
Next Topic: Shampoo for DINNER!
Put a little salt,
Garlic, basil, they won't know
It's Head and Shoulders!
8)
Next topic: Perforate this!
Like funny scissors
This made more sense in my head
I'm very confused
Next topic: Who is The Mgt?
soem lady named
lauryn an ipod for hubby
she probaly laughs at us.
next topic - what do i have against haiku anyway?
Wah wah, wah wah wah.
Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah.
Wah, wah wah wah wah.
Next topic: WTF happened to BGP?
He did die going
to the heavens themselves with
a fearful "weeooh?"
Next topic: How to cure a cola addiction.
To this day
Scientists have no cute
For teh cola
Next: Moist post-coital limp penis.
Cute? WTF, tnord?
Moist post-coital limp penis
Is a great band name
Next Topic:
Why these boots are made for walkin' and not for bludgeoning people to death for freudian slips.
hoshi, I think these
boots are for bludgeoning them
for freudian slips.
Next, chocolate, dark or milk?
I like chocolate,
the way I like my women,
stuffed in a box.
next topic: a dollar cant stretch very far.
a piece of elastic
can stretch further than a dollar
under falling leaves
next topic - chestnuts have a high carbohydrate content
Chestnuts make butts big
But they taste so good to me
Fuck carbohydrates
Next topic: Uh oh, I burned the human corpse we are having for dinner!
Fuck! It baked too long!
Guests just said that's the last time
They'll have my babies.
Next up: psilocybin
Uptight customers
Should be given pizza with
This kind of mushroom.
:twisted:
Next topic: Windbreakers
(Um, I'll defer to someone who's actually dealt in the stuff, but I'd expect that to be a little expensive for a prank, especially compared to the price of one's own semen.)
Useful, pretty, but
when they're worn around your waist,
they keep your farts *in*!
Next up: The price of vanity
Twenty nine dollars and
Ninety nine cents for post and
package, not costly.
Next up, the folly of drinking beer on the internet
drank too much beer, now
I've found a stranger for sex
hope she's not a man
8)
next: silk boxers under leather pants
If Jim Morrison
wore silk boxers, his leather
might have smelled better
Next: Dead rock star age
I can't think of anything for that subject, so I'm going to do one on Cthulu eating a dead rock star.
Slobbering drooling
Suctioning tentacles lash
Delicious, spangled pants
Next up: Voodoo Doll
Oh Do me Hoodoo!
Stick me, Prick me, make it bleed
Magic S and M
Next Topic: Postmodern impressionism and it's effects on reality TV and copper prices.
Quote from: The seerOh Do me Hoodoo!
Stick me, Prick me, make it bleed
Magic S and M
Next Topic: Postmodern impressionism and it's effects on reality TV and copper prices.
Andrew C. Bulhak
Wrote about this very subject
with a yacc grammar.
[edit: but my grammar still outputs eight syllables on occasion...]
Next Topic: Something we haven't heard before...
Colours you can't see
Experience the future
Before it appears
Next Topic: The meditation of the hotdog.
Ohmmmm whats inside this
animal vegitable or
Mineral Ohmmmmmmmmmmm Ohmmmmmmmmmm
NT - Accept no immitations
Feel the beating heart
Understand that it shall break
Nothing is perfect
NT - The eagles and the christian church :P
Xtians should rejoice!
Don Henley's band proved that hell
Hath frozen over.
NT: Chicken nooodle soup
CHICKEN SOUP ROXXORZ!!!!!
(Yes, you should pronounce the "orz".)
CAN OPENER!! NOW!!!
Next Topic: The P is not silent!
Penelope poked pimples
til she bled to death on a
bed of purple pimpernells.
Next: Can you Masturbait too much?
It's probably wise
To stop when your arm snaps off
And falls to to the floor.
If you go too hard
It won't be your arm breaking
But your little leg.
:D
The next topic is neither next nor a topic. Discuss.
This topic is not.
This next haiku ain't a haiku.
Also it's not next.
Next Topic: Oh crap, it was a haiku.
Meant to write sonnet
But ran out of syllables
Guess I'll do haiku.
Next topic: The sandwich that ate itself
There is nothing there.
One time there was a sandwich.
It was Ham on Rye.
Next Topic:
Charles Bukowski is an asshole.
Those Words He Write Keep
Him From Total Madness, But
They Make Me Crazy.
Next Topic: Dead Friends We Only Knew Online (Who Aren't Mindpixel)
5 years, then 10 pass
Don't miss him, he was an ass
Still, it kind of sucks.
Next topic: New teeth.
8)
one gold, one dimond
platinum and silver shining
my teeth are pimped out
next: free bacon
I WANT FREE BACON!!!
I am becoming a troll.
Woe is my net-rep!
Next Topic: How soon before someone pwns my ass yet again?
A little PostScript
Makes creativity flow
No more troll (for now)
Next Topic: We discuss the double entendre of "creativity flowing"
Hey! That's not haiku!
You're just counting syllables!
Stop that this instant!
...
THERE ARE RULES, DAMMIT!
Rules were meant to be broken,
but this is a game!
Next Topic: Games are meant to be played!
This "CandyLand" box
Makes a crappy paperweight.
Maybe we should play?
Next: BrandyLand
...
I lust for
My cupboard's sexy sexy drawers
My friends laugh
Next topic: I'm not entirely sure that was a haiku.....
five- seven five, fn0rd
this is the proper structure
for writing haiku
next topic
discordian haiku: 5-23-5
Twenty three! Pineal Gland
LOL! We know its all made up
So just please shut up!
Why Is Turd so against poetry?
not against poetry
it's just that 99 percent
of it sucks rancid ass
next: sitting on your hand until it falls asleep so you can give yourself "the stranger"
Walks relentlessly
Coquettish and nonchalant
Providence it seeks
(That's supposed to either describe the passage of time or a prostitute.)
Quote from: MerchantoftolbiWalks relentlessly
Coquettish and nonchalant
Providence it seeks
(That's supposed to either describe the passage of time or a prostitute.)
Um, you = 1 dumbass. Please to read teh rules.
"always follow rules.
verily dumbassness stinks,"
so grumbles teh roger
write one about original sin
You are born evil.
Sell your soul to me for salvation.
Or your Haikus won't fit the syllable count.
Next Topic: Collapsing Coal Mines in the Rust Belt
I hear there's an open
mineshaft just outside Pittsburgh
you should go explore it
next: your worthless college degree
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: MerchantoftolbiWalks relentlessly
Coquettish and nonchalant
Providence it seeks
(That's supposed to either describe the passage of time or a prostitute.)
Um, you = 1 dumbass. Please to read teh rules.
I do not see any rules. All it says is about a next-thread topic, and I followed that.
Quote from: East Coast HustleI hear there's an open
mineshaft just outside Pittsburgh
you should go explore it
next: your worthless college degree
Please learn to say "do
you want fries with that" because
English is just crap
Next: Merchantoftolbi cannt follow rules
Merchant of tolbi's last haiku
had nothing to do with the topic I laid out for him
what a schmuck.
next: my hate-o-meter is nudging into the red. watch for my blown hate-valve sometime this week.
Anticipation
We can see the clouds beyond
The rain looks right angry.
next: write a suggestive one about Cheney and Quayle (not a quail)
Powerful men fondle
Their guns waiting for kids to
Shoot with potatoes.
Next: pelvic floor muscles. . .
Feet up on the chair,
Breathe and press, scrunch in the knees;
Ah, psoas release.
Next up: weinerschnitzel!
Jack Black did ask once
"where's my fucking schnitzel" of Kyle
Do not leave them alone.
Why food thiefs should be hung by the thumbs
woe! it is lunch time
some bitch just ate my sandwich.
thumb screws anyone?
next: the coolness of medieval torture devices
The Iron Maiden,
The rack, the thumbscrews, the lash,
Make my day brighter.
Next: On chocolate mousse.
No Heathens Abound
In The Loyal Order Of
The Chocolate Mousse
Next: Speculations on the (un)importance of eating chicken.
Quote from: Prater FestwoNo Heathens Abound
In The Loyal Order Of
The Chocolate Mousse
Next: Speculations on the (un)importance of eating chicken.
the theta chapter
of S S O O K N
like to eat chicken
next: ryan seacrest - gay or dating terri hatcher? (or both!)
you must be confused...
Not dating Terri Hatcher
rather, Howie Long
next: who would lose in a fight: James Taylor or Art Garfunkel?
Taylor/Garfunkel:
Match-up of the century -
EVERYBODY WINS!
Next haiku is on the same topic, because this one sucks. :)
You don't have a friend
Garfunkel kills James Taylor
The Sound of Silence
NT: something about a moose
there's a law in Maine
against unlawful posession
of a gift moose
next: Girls Gone Wild in Murmansk
the polar bear's cock
should fit quite comfortably
in russian whore's ass
next: something comforting for the poor russian whore
bonus-haiku which i stole from the net somewhere, but i like it:
fuck you fuck you fuck
you fuck you fuck you fuck you
fuck you fuck you snow
amputee mutters
chameleon following
pomegranate seals
next up: nonsense
I like marshmallows
The purple fish likes turkey gravy
Look Out For That Tree!
Oh yeah, next: Death to Smoochy
Who Coulda Guessed that
The Irish Mafia Has
A 'Tardish Boxer?
Next Topic: Why No One In Other Movies Is Ever Ever Ever Afraid of the Irish Mafia
Oh no they're coming.
Quick, throw a Guiness at them.
Okay, let's walk now.
next: Death to Carrot Top.
Carrot Top
is
A fucktard, worse than
that one guy who
i hate
I will probably eventually pwn him in a jihad filled with amazing fury and caustic hilarity
next topic: That wasn't a haiku.
haiku rhymes with poo
five seven five, your haiku fails
kill carrot top anyway
next: soap bubbles floating through a used car lot
used car lot
bubbles floating
nobody is on the discordian website
next -
why is nobody around?
PD.com caught
what the sandbox had and it
fucking imploded
Next topic: That wasn't a haiku either, nice try though. So, jihad?
so, jihad
how are you doing?
it has been a while
next - apocalypse right now
I'm not talking about
a Francis Ford Coppola movie.
This is real life.
next: the thought police
Quote from: East Coast HustleI'm not talking about
a Francis Ford Coppola movie.
This is real life.
next: the thought police
the thought police came to get me
but they started vomiting
after what they saw
next - the middle finger
outside the White House
they think W is number one
oops, wrong finger
next: marooned on an island with Emeril
what good is a cook
when there is nothing to cook?
we killed him the first night
next - VHS tapes
rewind, forward, pause
why is there snow in Key West?
Goddamnit! Tracking!
next: Remember those giant laser disks?
Those things could
take off
somebody's fucking head
Next: That wasn't a haiku either, wtf? Dirty filthy pornography.
what else is there to do
when you have no clothes on?
i was never good at counting syllables
next - killing people accidentally
accidental death
or premeditated murder?
results matter, not methods
next: a large reggae festival in a state full of honkies
Helena. Bella
drowning in a sea of drunk
cowboys in tie dye.
Next up: Philadelphia cream cheese
I Do not like it.
But my daughter really does.
Crazy kids these days.
Next: Stephen Hawking in a Mosh Pit.
all you could see left
was a busted up wheel chair
with one wheel spinning
next - dampness
Quote from: LHXall you could see left
was a busted up wheel chair
with one wheel spinning
next - dampness
[two thumbs up]
:D
what a fantastic last line
The lively forum's
Hidden like noble priest stool,
Can we still smell it?
Next: Bill Maher's head
if you need reason
to not take things serious
look at bill mahers head
next up - putting effort into things
x x x x x
x x x x x x x
x x x x x
Next: Swollen prostate
i tried hard to piss
i even ate cranberries
but nothing came out
next up
OMG LOL WTF
ear bbq with hot old
loose anal sex using
baseball bats
Next topic: Lets go smoke some pot.
but what about the
trace amounts in germany
so i heard from friends
next: most fcuked up terry gilliams movie ever
Time Bandits: Midgets
Chased by evil overlord.
Who though that one up?
Next. Hangover remedys.
I've heard menudo
works, but make sure it's the soup,
not the '80's band!
Next up: toenails
Devils in toenails?
Costly drugs in your body?
I say, fuck toenails.
Next: Emergence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emergence) in bathrooms.
If we could all poo
together we could be more
than the sum of poo
Next Topic: No-Topic, like No-Mind
HIMEOBS HAS ZEN THOUGHT
NOTHING SPLATTERS ASS CANONS
LIKE BINGOS PHALUS
Next Topic: Buddha still has a ghost penis living in your cereal.
that thing protruding
from your morning cereal
is not banana
next - even machines need love
neglected diodes
and unoiled joints aching,
the robots revolt
spontaneous combustion
embarassed - he tried
to explain his premature
ejaculation
next up - i think nobody is online because it is a US holiday
they died so you could
ignore looming fascism.
Hey, let's play horseshoes!
on deck: how Kanye West played himself
Quote from: East Coast Hustlethey died so you could
ignore looming fascism.
Hey, let's play horseshoes!
on deck: how Kanye West played himself
"I am a black guy.
The President hates us all.
Oh, I am opressed."
next, driving on the freeway
Don't you cut me off
Cause I still have mortar shells
And no one's watching
next: embarrasing sex stories
Quote from: FelixDon't you cut me off
Cause I still have mortar shells
And no one's watching
next: embarrasing sex stories
my entire sex life
is sitting in my closet
it's polyester
Next Topic: Did anyone actually read Apotheosis Psycherotica?
Apotheosis?
Psycherotica? whats that?
no one gives a fuck!
next topic: removing your spleen with a fork in siberia
Nuclear winter comes;
We need to make provisions.
Got your forks? GET HIM!!
Next topic: HIMEOBS vs Ratzinger
Haikus have been lost.
Damn you, vengeful net tubes!
I missed a syllable.
Next Topic: Odds on when the next crash will occur.
Damn Discordia
Praying mantis plus data base
A day, a lifetime?
NEXT: Redheaded Japanese woman invents photon transmogrifier
FUCK SHIT! MY HAIKU IS GONE! THAT WAS THE BEST FUCKING THING I EVER WROTE! FUCK YOU phpBB!
FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!1
Next Topic: MGD's lust-filled affair with phpBB...
phpBB
WAYSA?
KYSFTB
Quote from: LHXphpBB
WAYSA?
KYSFTB
:potd:
Quote from: LHXphpBB
WAYSA?
KYSFTB
All of the acronyms I don't know and would appreciate being explained, in one convenient location!
Quote from: Lady GodivaQuote from: LHXphpBB
WAYSA?
KYSFTB
All of the acronyms I don't know and would appreciate being explained, in one convenient location!
Acronymn unknown
Where is the google search, please?
This is the last line.
phpBB: PHP Bulletin Board (PHP==programming language)
WAYSA?: Why are you still alive?
KYSFTB: Kill yourself, fuck the body
Next Topic: HIMGIU: how much does my idea suck?
Quote from: the other anonymousQuote from: Lady GodivaQuote from: LHXphpBB
WAYSA?
KYSFTB
All of the acronyms I don't know and would appreciate being explained, in one convenient location!
Acronymn unknown
Where is the google search, please?
This is the last line.
phpBB: PHP Bulletin Board (PHP==programming language)
WAYSA?: Why are you still alive?
KYSFTB: Kill yourself, fuck the body
Thank you. :)
Quote from: Machine Grind DreamFUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!1
fuck you fuck you fuck
you fuck you fuck you fuck you
fuck you fuck you snow
There's no Haiku Game
We all ignore the two rules:
Haiku, Next Topic
Next Topic: PDdC crached and everyone forgot how to behave...
o no i forget
forum etiquette so i
act like a retard
next topic - this was the correct haiku
ifthathaikuhad2wheelsandanengineitwouldbeamotorcycle
Next topic: MGD's haiku that got erased was the best shit ever written, ever
MGD's haiku that got
erased was the best
shit ever written, ever
Next topic: MGD's haiku that got erased was the best shit ever written, ever
My haiku was so gnar
it was like radar
it even followed haiku grammar
lol, haiku
Next topic: MGD's haiku that got erased was the best shit ever written, ever
An erased haiku?
Was it ever really real?
If so, post again.
Next Topic: The Best Haiku Ever or, if unavailable, a Tribute to The Best Haiku Ever by Jack Black
My haiku was so gnar
it was like radar
it even followed haiku grammar
lol, crashing boards
Next topic: MGD's haiku that got erased was the best shit ever written, ever
MGD's haiku that got
erased was the best
shit ever written, ever
Next topic: MGD's haiku that got erased was the best shit ever written, ever
Wilford Brimley is
The one who is guilty of
Eating the Haiku.
Next:
Daniel Craig, worst troll evar.
Punk named Craig came by
blowing shit out of his ass
Monsoon for HIMEOBS
Edit:
Next: Latest Member: Frond Dishlock?
Frond Dishlock, member.
Average Post Count: Never.
(Craig not troll, is SPAM?)
Next Topic: The Difference Between Trolls and Spam?
All spam is trollish
All troll is not spamish
lol, I fucked up the haiku
Next topic: MGD's haiku that got erased was the best shit ever written, ever
You gotta let go
Hey, man, life goes on, relax
You gotta let go
Next Topic: In 2001 AD, WAR WAS BEGINNING...
Cue on music;
lock'n'load, dogfaced fuckpawn,
War of the aeon
Next: Daft punk- "Rock. Robot Rock"
Daft punk "Rock.  Robot Rock".
Stolen elements,
or recontextualised?
Pentagon or gram?
next: The number 36
Thirty Six is a
Threesome of twelves with strap ons
Math BDSM ftw!!!
Next: A breakfast of Frosted Flakes and Meth.
Let them get soggy
Dentistry cannot cope with
Methamphetamines
Next Topic: Stephen Colbert locked out of bridge naming: Pwned by Hungary!
haiku is easy
so are you you fucking slut
damn the government
You're supposed to make a haiku about whatever the last guy said to, then designate what the next guy will write about.
Doesn't he get it?
This is an inclusive game
Perhaps try again.
Next haiku: Weight loss ads
Quote from: Felix Mackay on August 23, 2006, 08:08:57 PM
You're supposed to make a haiku about whatever the last guy said to, then designate what the next guy will write about.
Doesn't he get it?
This is an inclusive game
Perhaps try again.
Next haiku: Weight loss ads
i misread ..... sorry
weight loss ads all day
is this how we view ourselves
perhaps we're all thin
next topic: Hobbits Furry Feet
I knew a hobbit
who was quite vain of his feet
yet wouldn't shave them
next: pig orgasms, esp. the long duration thereof
oh swine cums juicey
as the bacon rolls ripples
at length there is ham
davznothere has trouble
counting out his syllables
try an abacus
next: abba and abacus
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 23, 2006, 09:28:31 PM
davznothere has trouble
counting out his syllables
try an abacus
next: abba and abacus
The first line has six syllables. Irony strikes again. :lol:
You are the counting
queen, odd and even, only
seventeen - it's prime!
Next Topic: Dave's lack of Next Topics (we'll hit him over the head with the rules till he plays along!)
comprehension is
not one of the poor new guy's
strengths - maybe next life
next: lmao @ haiku rules
Rule number one:
Discordian forums rule.
lol, haiku rules
Quote from: the other anonymous on August 23, 2006, 11:44:14 PM
Next Topic: Dave's lack of Next Topics (we'll hit him over the head with the rules till he plays along!)
speaking of ironic
Quote from: davznothere on August 24, 2006, 07:21:15 AM
Quote from: the other anonymous on August 23, 2006, 11:44:14 PM
Next Topic: Dave's lack of Next Topics (we'll hit him over the head with the rules till he plays along!)
speaking of ironic
Hey! Don't post a New Topic without a haiku pertaining to the previous Next Topic (ie, the Current Topic)!
irony is not
well-defined, often abused
by mainstream culture
Next Topic: Cheech and Chong: does anyone remember?
Davz Not Here says Chong
As Cheech his stash so well hid
upon doors he bangs
next topis: the oppression of creativity by silly rules that really have no applicable use
Quote from: davznothere on August 24, 2006, 05:13:03 PM
Davz Not Here says Chong
As Cheech his stash so well hid
upon doors he bangs
next topis: the oppression of creativity by silly rules that really have no applicable use
Next Topis?
NEXT TOPIS!!??The Rules of Haiku
Are good and just, davz not here,
Keep the game going
Next Topic: What's a Topis?
it is that thing there.
beware, for it smells quite bad
it stains like a mo fo
next: Kip Winger = best musician evar!!!
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 24, 2006, 05:31:26 PM
it is that thing there.
beware, for it smells quite bad
it stains like a mo fo
next: Kip Winger = best musician evar!!!
Oh Kip wings in his
yellow striped and hugging pants
how lame yet i'm awed
next topic: xanex, zoloft and ritilin oh my !
When I was in school
They tried to give me their drugs
But mom said FUCK OFF
Next Topic: Parker Lewis Can't Lose
Quote from: the other anonymous on August 24, 2006, 08:07:20 PM
Next Topic: Parker Lewis Can't Lose
as i toss a load
"Who is this Parker Lewis?"
graces my grey brain
Next Topic: sit and twirl
As I sit and twirl
What a lucky little girl
with my sit and spin
next topic: Larry, Curly and Moe, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk
Rhyming verse sucks ass
non rhyming also sucks ass
Haiku pwns j00r base
4-5-4 word
5-7-5 syllable
now the haiku game
rise slumbering lumberjacks
game the haiku now
Quote from: SiO2NaClH2oHgSetc. on October 22, 2006, 02:07:35 PM
now the haiku game
rise slumbering lumberjacks
game the haiku now
ell oh ell thread ruined
no next topic
now no one can do haiku
Next Topic: Clutch (the band)
Fading to clutch,
And braking your face,
Is the music of the masses.
P.S.: Destroy all humans!
You forgot the next topic. :-(
Er... N.T.: Destroy All Humans!
Quote from: Benaclypse on October 23, 2006, 04:03:44 AM
Er... N.T.: Destroy All Humans!
Too many hoomans
Give me a flamethrower now
I will fix this shit.
NT: Antidisestablishmentarianism.
it's a long word, but
not as long as that stupid word
in Mary Poppins.
NT: Rumsfeld falls in love
Dear heart, there's never enough
The memories we do share
Oh, money! Money!!
NT: "Typical" discordian psychobabble
LIEK, Z-O-M-G!
TWENTYTHREEPINEALGLAND
LOL! HAIL ERIS!
NT: Mt. Vesuvius vs. "morning after too much Budweiser" ass
Herculaneum
Lager makes anus of fire
Gotta stop this shit
NT: Midget porn and HIMEOBS
"Don Juan" Thumb bangs Eve
Exoatmospheric kill
What a money shot
NT: Sabotaging Wal-Mart urinals in a faux-suede shirt
In a faux-suide shirt
I urinate all over
The display toilets
----
next topic: drinking too much coffee
Awake I ponder
a diuretic it is
pissing my day off
NT: Blow up dolls
Blow up dolls are good
But only as a gag-gift
I prefer RealDoll
Next Topic: "Next Topic" vs "NT"
Brevity is good
In the long run anyway
FTW
next topic:
"being polite when you really don't want to"
I force a smile
But really I just want to
tell you to fuck off
Next topic: Bill Stickers is innocent.
C4 charges blow
Bill Stickers rejoins the world
Not fucking guilty
NT: Getting a free blender, legally
Just tell your parents
I swear i'll give it back soon
Margarita Time!
NT- a series of tubes
Like I said before
It is not a fucking truck
Teh tubes of teh webs
Next Topic: Fat Ethiopian midwives
Desert storm cloud
Fight for sandpit rights
bounce baby bounce
NT: Extracting wasps from stings in flight
I grab their stingers
They don't like me very much
I cannot blame them.
NT: Kumquats.
Little orange fruit
They scatter in my backyard
I throw them at cars
NT: The Nutcracker Suite
A fairy ballet
But where is the fat lady?
I prefer Polka
NT: He-Man
and thus, he-man said
by the power of greyskull
i have the power
(duh what a cop-out)
NT: the last thing you thought of before waking up
Wake up dude
it's time to go
back to sleep
NT: Alice coopers mom
If you saw his mom
And thought his makeup was bad
He got it from her
(Eh...)
NT: Fruitcake.
Fruitcake is munchies,
Also eccentric nurds,
Both Discordian
NT: apocalyptic conservatives
Quote from: Benaclypse on December 18, 2006, 04:10:44 AM
NT: apocalyptic conservatives
Pump out all the oil!
Kill the atmosphere! Who cares?
Jesus will fix it!
NT: failed holiday recipes
Quote
Pump out all the oil!
Kill the atmosphere! Who cares?
Jesus will fix it!
:potd:
Quote from: DJRubberducky on December 18, 2006, 03:15:11 PM
NT: failed holiday recipes
This haiku is not
About fruitcake like you'd think.
Drink rancid egg nog!
NT: Drinking rancid egg nog.
I lift the cup to
My lips and then I realize
That it's rancid shit
NT: Helicopters
Helicopters fly
and sometimes they crash and burn
I do not like them.
NP: being uninspired
Rev'rend Whats-His-Name
Is uninspired by the
helicopter thing
NT: Spaghetti Sauce
Thank goodness for Shout
For those moments when your kid
Eats with her whole face.
NP: LMNO Lurves the TSO
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 20, 2006, 06:09:56 PMNP: LMNO Lurves the TSO
When LMNO
Said he liked the TSO
He meant "Gay Cowboys".
NT: Big Gay Cowboys
Bmmm-tch. Pt-t-tch.
Bmmm-tch. Da nah nah.
Bmmm-tch. Pt-t-tch.
NT: Onomatopoeia
Quote from: Felix Mackay on December 20, 2006, 06:51:53 PM
Bmmm-tch.  Pt-t-tch.
Bmmm-tch.  Da nah nah.
well, helloooo, sailor!
NT: Onomatopoeia
Fixed for extra gayness.
Buzz wack crash murmur
Bam bam bam boom hush shh crunch
Onomatopoeias yeah!
NT: Corn husks
Good for tamales
Bad for washing your new car
even worse as shoes.
NP: Living in Cubicle World
Just me and pan
toilet roll is out
welcome to hell
NT: vicious circle
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 20, 2006, 08:48:58 PM
Good for tamales
Bad for washing your new car
even worse as shoes.
NP:  Living in Cubicle World
...Dude, you wear corn husks for shoes? WTF?
vicious circle
wake up, take a drink
beat my wife, pray to jesus
i am doing fine
NT: SSOOKN
the semi secretTM
is best revealed by asking
your pineal gland
NT: radioactivity
Turning the dial
to another sound
Dance a little
NT: frogmarching
we will march on a
road of squashed frogs until our
new boots stop croaking
NT: fixing washing machines for ebook searchers
Molten lead spin cycle
Plus ten pounds Portland cement
Add wires and shit
NT: Moammar Gaddafi's elite Amazonian bodyguard unit
Hail Libya
one tit for bow skills
tall ninja girls
NT: The ghost of Boris Yeltsin and his amazing prehensile penis
Haunting the Kremlin
Look out Reverend Roger!
What's that in your face?
Next topic, Escapism and Pursuit
Quote from: Bhode_Sativa on December 24, 2006, 10:49:57 AM
Haunting the Kremlin
Look out Reverend Roger!
What's that in your face?
No next topic.  You fucking retard.
Roger is vicious
He can not let a grudge go
His hate makes me smile
NT: :lol:
Lulz, lolz, ha ha ha
This is teh funnay ha ha
hahahahaha
Next topic: MGD's haiku that got erased was the best shit ever written, ever
Never saw it
but I do believe
it was the best
NT: Bleeding potheads for cheap resin
Cut their stoner throats
Turn them upside down and fucking drain
Serve with fine glassware
NT: A crosshair on your 5th grade teacher's skull
Something moving there
Disgruntled blue rinse old maid
Angry follicle
NT: Wish I was undead for christmas
The Z-War marches
On through the wintery night
SillyCybin leads
NT: Breaking your teeth on a roasted chestnut.
An old tradition
Roast and then call the dentist
Who the fuck eats these?
NT - Choose your own topic
My christmas gift to you bards
Don't let it suck ass
Quote from: hunter s.durden on December 25, 2006, 12:10:04 AM
NT - Choose your own topic
        My christmas gift to you bards
         Don't let it suck ass
Scream Pierces the Night
Rog fucks Chinese finger trap
Maria saves the day.
NT: A heart full of hate.
A little beating
takes the edge of how i feel
think I'll beat some more
NT: Drunken suicide pact
Drunk the last bottle
"Hey you guys! Let's kill ourselves!"
Repeat as needed
Next topic: The last straight sailor on Earth
offshore underwear
locked secure with sturdy chain
safe from the seamen
NT: The delicate sound of chainsaws
Five hundred hours
And a paycheck's worth of gas
And now I'm deaf.
O furry my love,
Such a soft and tender coat!
Hey, is that a flee?
Next Topic: "Black Christmas"
It is true that I
Don't care what the white man say,
Santa was Black, man
Next topic: flouncing
A stupid catch phrase
From a long forgotten show:
My name's Doug, and I'm outta here.
Next Topic: Should almost-haikus be allowed?
Quote from: the other anonymous on December 30, 2006, 07:28:42 AM
A stupid catch phrase
From a long forgotten show:
My name's Doug, and I'm outta here.
Next Topic: Should almost-haikus be allowed?
It's five-seven-five
learn to write a haiku, ass
Jesus, some people.
Next topic: Unwarranted hostility.
I WILL KILL YOU ALL!!!!!
I don't know why she swallowed a fly,
I guess she'll die.
Next Topic: Warranted Hostility
Quote from: the other anonymous on December 30, 2006, 07:43:19 AM
I WILL KILL YOU ALL!!!!!
I don't know why she swallowed a fly,
I guess she'll die.
Next Topic: Warranted Hostility
We have a warrant
Signed by a judge downtown
So "fuck off and die".
Next topic: Post-Keynesian economics.
Too poor to buy corn
Secret Service budget gone
Long muscles taste great!
NT: Titties and liquid hydrogen
The ice penises
Shattered all over her hard
Wet areolas.
NT: Ontological argument for scrotal flux
I'm fucking wasted
Last topic is lost on me
Metalocalypse
Next Topic: Last Topic
Quote from: hunter s.durden on January 01, 2007, 05:16:29 AM
I'm fucking wasted
Last topic is lost on me
Metalocalypse
Next Topic: Last Topic
At last at long last
This stupid fucking game fread
Is finally over.
CLOSE DIS FREAD.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 01, 2007, 05:28:19 AM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on January 01, 2007, 05:16:29 AM
I'm fucking wasted
Last topic is lost on me
Metalocalypse
Next Topic: Last Topic
At last at long last
This stupid fucking game fread
Is finally over.
CLOSE DIS FREAD.
Your supposed to pick topic?
Or Killed the Game fread?
YUO KILLED THE FROOKING GAME FREAD?
nt...
nt...
AAAAAAAACK!
Quote from: Benaclypse on January 01, 2007, 06:34:38 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 01, 2007, 05:28:19 AM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on January 01, 2007, 05:16:29 AM
I'm fucking wasted
Last topic is lost on me
Metalocalypse
Next Topic: Last Topic
At last at long last
This stupid fucking game fread
Is finally over.
CLOSE DIS FREAD.
Your supposed to pick topic?
Or Killed the Game fread?
YUO KILLED THE FROOKING GAME FREAD?
nt...
nt...
AAAAAAAACK!
It's over. There are no more Haikus. We used them all up.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 01, 2007, 06:35:31 AM
Quote from: Benaclypse on January 01, 2007, 06:34:38 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 01, 2007, 05:28:19 AM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on January 01, 2007, 05:16:29 AM
I'm fucking wasted
Last topic is lost on me
Metalocalypse
Next Topic: Last Topic
At last at long last
This stupid fucking game fread
Is finally over.
CLOSE DIS FREAD.
Your supposed to pick topic?
Or Killed the Game fread?
YUO KILLED THE FROOKING GAME FREAD?
nt...
nt...
AAAAAAAACK!
It's over. There are no more Haikus. We used them all up.
oH. What was the use?
Quote from: Benaclypse on January 01, 2007, 06:37:40 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 01, 2007, 06:35:31 AM
Quote from: Benaclypse on January 01, 2007, 06:34:38 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 01, 2007, 05:28:19 AM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on January 01, 2007, 05:16:29 AM
I'm fucking wasted
Last topic is lost on me
Metalocalypse
Next Topic: Last Topic
At last at long last
This stupid fucking game fread
Is finally over.
CLOSE DIS FREAD.
Your supposed to pick topic?
Or Killed the Game fread?
YUO KILLED THE FROOKING GAME FREAD?
nt...
nt...
AAAAAAAACK!
It's over.  There are no more Haikus.  We used them all up.
oH.  What was the use?
Oh, we used them to annoy Zenji, our erstwhile Wapanese poster.
You should go ahead and close it then.
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on January 01, 2007, 11:40:22 AM
You should go ahead and close it then.
Hell no. The cookies and pie crowd would tear me to pieces.
I think Felix should do it. Yeah.
Last topic? No way!
THOU SHALT NOT BE OF CLOSING
THE HAIKU THREADING!
Next Topic: Premature Oscillation
It wasn't turned on
but I'm sure I heard a pulse
did you flick the switch?
NT: haiku thread resuscitation
Me? I *like* this thread. Hell, I've even written rap lyrics thinking of it as just some fun word game.
Quote from: SillyCybin on January 01, 2007, 08:57:59 PM
It wasn't turned on
but I'm sure I heard a pulse
did you flick the switch?
NT: haiku thread resuscitation
I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER!
Quote from: SillyCybin on January 01, 2007, 08:57:59 PM
NT: haiku thread resuscitation
Haiku thread revived
TGRR will kill me
I did it for lulz
Next topic: Next topic
I haven't seen it
but I'll bet my ass it looks
something like this here
NT: Celebrity chainsaw juggling
Quote
NT: Celebrity chainsaw juggling
Day after the show:
Blood all over the tabloids
Some good looking stumps
Yours Truly
Professor Cramulus"Harder than you Think!"
Next topic...?
ack! :-o
Next Topic: The Sound Barrier
DIS FREAD IS OVER, YOU TARDS!
I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER!
Haikus will not stop
Until Roger learns to love
His Inner Dolphin
Quote from: hunter s.durden on January 03, 2007, 06:37:57 AM
Haikus will not stop
Until Roger learns to love
His Inner Dolphin
I love dolphins!
You know the next step
No anal, so you must blow
Remember the thread?
fuck you fuck you fuck
you fuck you fuck you fuck you
fuck you fuck you snow
next topic: fuck you
Undulating hips
Slippery thighs, lick lick chomp,
lick CHOMP "OW! too hard!"
Next topic: Your Mom's Butthole
Quote from: Netaungrot on January 04, 2007, 03:51:13 AM
Undulating hips
Slippery thighs, lick lick chomp,
lick CHOMP "OW! too hard!"
Next topic: Your Mom's Butthole
Undulating hips
Slippery thighs, lick lick chomp,
lick CHOMP "OW! too hard!"
Next topic: easy cut-and-paste jokes.
:lol:
cut-and-paste saves work
Wrought Iron Instigator
RE: the haiku game
NT: Alternative uses for Britney Spears
her head a door stop
The rest of her chum for sharks
Do sharks get sick tummies?
NP: The Dems are going to save us!!!
They aren't for control
They are just trying to help
Please turn in your guns
Roger was cuddly
Percocet wore off quickly
E B and G quakes
NT: People who post in bad English using only lowercase
fuck em, fuck em all
lowercase motherfuckers
may they die screaming
NT: DR & Quinch
Eat my shit fuckholes
I hope you are raped and die
I am fucking drunk
Nt: How cool I am
Quote from: hunter s.durden on January 10, 2007, 07:57:54 AM
Eat my shit fuckholes
I hope you are raped and die
I am fucking drunk
Nt: How cool I am
ICB! Drunk people cannot write haiku. Admit it - you're just a little tipsy innit
Whats ICB?
How bout you answer me this week you flamehanded fuckface.
this help?
Answer me now ass
What the Fuck is I C B?
Any time this week
Means I Call Bullshit
If you can still move fingers
then you're still sober
NT: Hunter is a wannabe drinker
Hunter will come there
To show Americans drink
Aussies pwn us, though
NT - My friend just got a bill from the electric company for 28 cents.
Stamps here cost 37 cents.
Complete jackasses
Databases rule them all
Pay it next month, dude
NT: Ham and Guava juice
Prolly 'bout as near
as hunter ever comes to
really getting drunk
NT: Celebrity Felching Contests
Silly feltches Pitt
and he's not even famous
Tops it with blow jobs
NT - Clerks asking too many questions (I can buy as much cough syrup as I want to, assholes. Stay out of my shit and I won't kill you)
Mother's maiden name?
He asks me, I repeat
a bus ticket please
NT: if planet earth were shaped like a platypus's head
This thread blows.
I'm closing it.
Quote from: SillyCybin on January 11, 2007, 06:47:09 PM
Mother's maiden name?
He asks me, I repeat
a bus ticket please
NT: if planet earth were shaped like a platypus's head
THE KINGDOM OF THE
DUCK'S BILL HAS ALWAYS BEEN AT
WAR WITH EYEBALLSBURGH
Next Topic: BOOBIEGATE!!!!
What the fuck, I locked this.
Somebody locked the Haiku Game.
Let's pick up where we left off:
Previous Haiku:
THE KINGDOM OF THE
DUCK'S BILL HAS ALWAYS BEEN AT
WAR WITH EYEBALLSBURGH
Next Topic: BOOBIEGATE!!!!
And this is why I didn't lock it.....
Oh, christ. Fine, I guess there's no deterring an overenthusiastic Discordian.
May as well keep this to one thread.
Wow.
And who says one man can't make a difference? :D
Quote from: the other anonymous on January 17, 2007, 04:31:53 AM
Somebody locked the Haiku Game.
Let's pick up where we left off:
Previous Haiku:
THE KINGDOM OF THE
DUCK'S BILL HAS ALWAYS BEEN AT
WAR WITH EYEBALLSBURGH
Next Topic: BOOBIEGATE!!!!
Enter Boobiegate!
Eternal Motorboating!
Oh boy! I can't wait!
Next Topic: Vulvitis and/or Menarche
Quote from: Sir Perineal on January 25, 2007, 09:44:02 PMNext Topic: Vulvitis and/or Menarche
I choose menarche.
Squirt blood out the crotch,
Cramps, cravings, yeast infections -
You're now a woman!
Next up: Why was that corner of the park roped off as a crime scene?
Some fucking hobo
Slipped on ice and broke his neck
In Boston Common
...which wouldn't shock me if it happened.
Next Topic: Why the Galactic Empire wasn't evil
Cause jackboots in space
And megalomania
Are for your own good
WHATS THE NEXT TOPIC?!?!
HOW ABOUT SOME FUCKING INDEPENDENT CREATIVITY?!?
Independant what?
In a pointless haiku thread?
I do not think so!
Next Topic: Dependant Creativity
Creativity?
I need some insperado,
Can't think for myself.
NT: :gheyforum:
Fuck the haiku thread
It's such a goddamn toolbox
I hope you all die
next topic: hunter was born feet first
What a bad ass dude
brain damage could not stop him
feet first, still running
NT: why does Felix fear the Haiku?
They killed his parents
then burned his village down and
salted the earth below
NT: Holy shit, Cain just wrote a haiku
At least it was tragic and biblical.
Is the world ending?
Hell just froze over! And then
Cain, the poet, rests
Next Topic: Britney's Head
even shaved it's not likely
that we'll ever know
how empty it really is
NT: I just fucked the still twitching corpse of Minnie Mouse
My steamboat willie
is all out of steam. Minnie:
sans animation
NT: Mickey's Reaction
is he a man or a mouse?
or seedy pervert?
see mickey spank his monkey
NT: plutonic friendship or bestiality
the man walked up with eager look
His rod in hand
the goat did scream in agony
Next Topic: who would win in a fight, Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, Howard the Duck, or Duck man
A Duck man, Duck man
how did you kick their asses?
With my awesome foot.
NT: Led Zeppelin/Godzilla/Saving the dolphins
PS: Why did the 5-7-5 formula go away the last couple posts?
The metal gods roar
A Japanese dinosaur
Woe poor sea mammals
To answer PS
I now must humbly suggest
Lrn 2 haiku n00b
Next Topic: Spelling words backwards for sexual pleasure
Fuck me, Palindrome
Poop sexes, deified nun
Your boob looks redder
NT: To crack one's dick
Cracked the wang today
When I saw Haikus were back
Felix is weeping
NT: tiger fights crocodile!
There's only so many ways
to tell the story
crocodillian loses
NT: Mr Durden - Back on da mic.
Out of the nuthouse
Jumping back into the fray
Someone is gunna pay
NT: Armageddon through mindfuck
Oh shit world war three
quick dude fire off the missiles
he fell for it lol
NT: best way to prepare a christian for feeding to pigs
Rewatch Snatch my friend
starve them some and they will tear
through bones like butter
NT: cell phone, in your anus
Crazy frog says hi
but vibrating prostrate gland
says don't answer it
NT: Penile dementia
Quote from: SillyCybin on February 23, 2007, 10:36:47 PM
Crazy frog says hi
but vibrating prostrate gland
says don't answer it
NT: Penile dementia
Insane cock posse
Seeks crazy pussy posse
I'm watching teevee!
NT: toa just killed a great topic
that's what you think, man
Noone kills the great haiku
not even Felix
NT- When will fred stop drinking?
Fred WON'T stop drinking
It's probably for the best
Die, Haiku thread, die.
Next topic:
Haikus and Weaboos
Is it jap-english,
Perry Bible Fellowship,
or haiku? All three.
(http://www.pbfcomics.com/archive/0PBF61009BC-Weeaboo.jpg)
Next Topic:
If butts could talk
sounded like a fart
but on closer inspection
my bunghole just swore
NT: Fall in loch lomond - freeze to death
Is a loch a lake?
Please speak in American
No more Scot nonsense
NT- The one above, which I obviously didn't address
Oh, how I hate Cain,
He locks up all the good threads,
Thread tyrant he is!
NT- unproductive threads rock!
I wish I were poetic
I wish I knew how to rhyme
This is not a haiku
NEXT TOPIC !?!
:mad:
The next topic is a haiku.
No it isn't.
Yes it is.
Listen here wizard of bong:
If you want to be the stoned version of Lao Tzu be my guest.
But noone fucks with the Haikus!!!!1!!!
NEXT TOPIC MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!1111
NEXT TIME I DON'T SEE SOME 575, YOU'RE GETTING CHOKED!!!!!!!!!!!
Man it's sunny out.
Quote from: hunter s.durden on March 09, 2007, 05:25:37 PM
Listen here wizard of bong:
If you want to be the stoned version of Lao Tzu be my guest.
But noone fucks with the Haikus!!!!1!!!
NEXT TOPIC MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!1111
NEXT TIME I DON'T SEE SOME 575, YOU'RE GETTING CHOKED!!!!!!!!!!!
Man it's sunny out.
Oh It's a Game right
Sorry but this is funny
Your posts ironic.
Next topic: Do you get it?
Either post NT
Or I rape yuor dog on cam
and email you link
NT: Think of a topic goddamnit
Of course I get it
my post did not have the sceme
congrats detective
NT- not supplying a NT is tantamount to blasphemy
I forgot NT,
I realised straight away
You guys read too fast
Next topic: Jim Morrison is back
a huge fat singer
just threw up on my best shirt
I got high on it
NT: Elvis is forward
Truck Driver Addict,
Elvis has left the building,
No Burgers for you.
Next Topic:Drifting and floating and fading away
Poop in the sewer:
Drifting, floating, and fading;
"Poop" translates to "life."
NT: proof-reading forum posts to make sure you don't forget anything...
My NT was dumb.
Don't die, thread! Please don't die, yet!
You help me waste time.
NT: Child-molesting Clowns
The clown makes us laugh,
The clown made us take off clothes,
My bum really hurts.
Next topic: I am a camera
Quote from: Lysergic on March 12, 2007, 01:20:25 PMNext topic: I am a camera
"I'm a camera!"
The policeman sighs; one more
Crazy peeping Tom.
NT: boogers
Why is this thread even in Literate Chaotic?
I was sure it belonged in Nimwit Slob.
Hm...
Could bomb it.
Boogers are so gross
that I don't want to write a
haiku about them
NT: MSPAINT
Fuck Dave and Felix
This is a fun thread at first
Gets a bit old though.
NT: I think i'm done here
I think I'm done here
The Haikus are getting old
But wait, there is more!
NT:Gingavitis
This thread... is still... alive...
(http://i.pbase.com/o6/10/445810/1/73306500.sORS6AcU.threadomancy.jpg)
Those girls in Lys's
Avatar - brushing their teeth!
Bad gingivitis ...
NT: MSPAINT - for reals this time!
Quote from: Idem on March 28, 2007, 03:51:32 PM
This thread... is still... alive...
Five seven five god damn,
Haikus will never get old
dont fuck this thread up
Pixels make square clouds
artistic temper tantrum
caused by sneezing paint
NT:snails
I had expected
Exquisite French cuisine. Behold:
Plate of fucking snails.
Next topic: prehensile tails.
Whats a prehensile
I googled it to find out
prehensile.com
NT: Licking poison dart frogs
Quote from: Lysergic on March 29, 2007, 08:11:10 AM
NT: Licking poison dart frogs
Unn unn uh unn unn
unn unn uh unn unn uh unn
unn unn uh unn *thud*
Next topic: Cranial/rectal inversions.
I can't see a thing
And what on earth is that smell?
My ass is my hat.
Next Topic: vinegar.
The 20 year old
Bottle of champaign I got
Tastes like Vinegar
NT: Drinking Causes Pregnancy
(btw rog, that post was lultastic)
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 29, 2007, 08:13:54 AM
Quote from: Lysergic on March 29, 2007, 08:11:10 AM
NT: Licking poison dart frogs
Unn unn uh unn unn
unn unn uh unn unn uh unn
unn unn uh unn *thud*
Next topic: Cranial/rectal inversions.
If this thread is a contest, you won.
Quote from: hunter s.durden on March 29, 2007, 02:28:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 29, 2007, 08:13:54 AM
Quote from: Lysergic on March 29, 2007, 08:11:10 AM
NT: Licking poison dart frogs
Unn unn uh unn unn
unn unn uh unn unn uh unn
unn unn uh unn *thud*
Next topic: Cranial/rectal inversions.
If this thread is a contest, you won.
I sorta have to agree. Best Haiku. Eva.
ok then!
EOT?
This thread cannot die
it lives despite fogey hate
n00bs, resuscitate!
NT: in the style of Dr. Seuss
I was hoping it would eventually devolve into a fight about music.
Prof- it got old at about 1100 posts for me. Have fun while you can.
hunter, question
if you think haiku's should be written to music, what kind of music and why would you choose such sucky music to write haiku's to?
When i'm composing a haiku on a deep subject, like boogers or vinegar, I listen to My Chemical Romance, because they are the most punk band of all time.
Quote from: hunter s.durden on March 29, 2007, 05:45:56 PM
When i'm composing a haiku on a deep subject, like boogers or vinegar, I listen to My Chemical Romance, because they are the most punk band of all time.
:lol:
Should totally bomb this thread.
Seuss' green eggs and ham.
"Don't worry, son ... it'll be fun."
Seuss raped me, goddamn.
NT: self-deprecation in 17 syllables
Quote from: hunter s.durden on March 29, 2007, 05:45:56 PMWhen i'm composing a haiku on a deep subject, like boogers or vinegar, I listen to My Chemical Romance, because they are the most punk band of all time.
what??
MCR is like the most suckiest band EVAR, especially on the venerable subject of pickled boogers, they have made some statements which are simply not to be excused.
i would demonstrate this plain scientific fact, if only i would have a very ..
long ..
cat at my disposal which you of course understand (or will understand later) is crucial for the display of scientific rigor i have in mind.
To the American People:
Please stop jacking
my favorite thread.
By My Hand,
President Bush
Oh, shit. It's 2004, all over again.
Quote from: triple zero on April 01, 2007, 05:54:37 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on March 29, 2007, 05:45:56 PMWhen i'm composing a haiku on a deep subject, like boogers or vinegar, I listen to My Chemical Romance, because they are the most punk band of all time.
what??
MCR is like the most suckiest band EVAR, especially on the venerable subject of pickled boogers, they have made some statements which are simply not to be excused.
i would demonstrate this plain scientific fact, if only i would have a very .. long .. cat at my disposal which you of course understand (or will understand later) is crucial for the display of scientific rigor i have in mind.
Bullshit.
The punkness of bands are rated 5 (way punk), to 1 (fake poopy punk).
Examples:
5: MCR, AFI, Avril Lavine
4: Good Charlotte, All American Rejects,
3: Blink 182, Green Day, Sum 41
2: NOFX, Dropkick Murphy's, Rancid
1: The Clash, The Ramones, Sex Pistols
Jacked.
:lulz:
that chart is accurate.
this means the Dead Kennedys rate a 0.2.
I think The Stooges are in negative numbers.
you mean curly, moe, et. al.?
or were there other Stooges
I will kill a motherfucker.
Noone ranks lower than the Sex Pistols.
The Stooges are close.
Fucking Poseurs.
Quote from: LMNO on April 03, 2007, 06:48:21 PM
I will kill a motherfucker.
You have to do it in all caps, or it loses the effect.
may also have effect if you try to whisper it
... I will kill a motherfucker ...
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 03, 2007, 07:03:07 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 03, 2007, 06:48:21 PM
I will kill a motherfucker.
You have to do it in all caps, or it loses the effect.
I was trying to make it a simple statement of fact.
However, if you insist:
Quote from: vexati0n on April 03, 2007, 06:47:51 PM
you mean curly, moe, et. al.?
or were there other Stooges
I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER.
haiku is not punk
I'll kill a motherfucker
what are you eating?
sorry guys i forgot about my long cat proof of punkness
btw i was wondering
if you guys could answer for me:
1. what are you listening to?
2. what are you eating?
3. what are you drinking (and how) ?
4. what's the weather over there?
5. why do you think sports team X would suck at Y and win tomorrows game or not?
you are also allowed to use syllables.
the answer to the first three questions is:
BUTTS LOL
3a. but how?
Tubgirl style, Straw, or Funnel?
1. nothing
2. store bought pizza
3. tea, from a cup
4. cold and murky
5. First thought is that Edmonton should slaughter Minnesota tonight, but you never know. Minnesota does play that style of hockey that if you make some mistakes... Other then that no good games on tonight
WRONG NUMBER OF SYLLABLES!!!!
NT: RIGHT NUMBER OF SYLLABLES
five, seven five
is option number one
four six four, two
NT: Fucking with time honoured formulae
FUCK THE THE TIME HONORED FORMULA
Quote from: triple zero on April 03, 2007, 10:43:07 PM
WRONG NUMBER OF SYLLABLES!!!!
NT: RIGHT NUMBER OF SYLLABLES
fuck Haiku's
I hate em
(mainly cause I suck at em)
hai-ku n.: a genre of poetry devoted to forming simple phrases, using William Shatner's speech pattern.
:lulz:
Quote from: SillyCybin on April 04, 2007, 01:48:17 AM
five, seven five
is option number one
four six four, two
NT: Fucking with time honoured formulae
You fucking shit
New formula to use
Is this funny
Yes/no
Next topic: Think outside the toolbox
could somebody replace this thread with this link?
http://www.elvicities.com/~ananames/haiku/overload.html
I think this needs to be posted here.
(http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/3729/2872/400/657727/1166707688924.jpg)
damn you! i was sorta hoping we could let this thread die, after i posted the overload (http://www.elvicities.com/~ananames/haiku/overload.html)...
:)
Please refrain from
Defecation upon Lawn
You Dog will be shot.
-R
ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
HAIKUS SUCK
Quote from: GIGGLES on April 15, 2007, 05:42:06 AM
ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
HAIKUS SUCK
:mittens:
WinRAR
THAT WASN'T A HAIKU!
THAT WASN'T A HAIKU!
THAT WASN'T A HAIKU!
THAT WASN'T A HAIKU!
THAT
WASN'T A
HAIKU!
THAT WASN'T A HAIKU!
YES IT WAS!
The nature of a
haiku is hotly argued
within this long thread
PTERODACTYL ATTACK
Fly my pretties!
(http://i184.photobucket.com/albums/x279/BlessedBesse/pterodactylattack4.jpg)
MUAHAHAHAHA
If my demands are not met IN FULL
more old awful threads will be targeted
PTERODACTYL HANDLER X
GIGGLES = greatest haiku artist EVER
PTERODACTYLS IN
YOUR VAGINA? IT IS MORE
COMMON THAN YOU THINK.
blindly clicking links
goatse and tubegirl find me
drinking a blue moon
this topic: the haiku thread
a zombie toolbox
like ancient pterodactyls
risen from the grave
next topic: how long will it last?
At work this morning
My boredom caused me to spew
Disconsolate chunks
:D
This thread was dead until SOMEONE bumped the fucking thing.
(http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/8402/orbital20bombardment20cpk6.jpg?1)
(http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/8402/orbital20bombardment20cpk6.jpg?2)
(http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/8402/orbital20bombardment20cpk6.jpg?3)
(http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/8402/orbital20bombardment20cpk6.jpg?4)
(http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/8402/orbital20bombardment20cpk6.jpg?5)
There.
Dead now.
Please to not be writing anymore haiku.
:lulz:
wow now that is a long cat
OH NOEZ!!!!! Orbital Bombardment!!!!
I think it's pretty.
But I still want to see page 158...
I like haikus.
Why does everyone gotta be hating?
I had a haiku
It was very well-formed
Kinda.
A limerick, a sonnet, and a haiku walk into a bar...
...e.e. cummings walks out.
Can I has highkooz?
Next Topic: ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT!! (Note: not an OB, just a haiku about one...)
fire from angry sky
why persecutest thou me?
haikus are for tits.
When the moon hits your
Eye. Its a like pizza pie
that's amore. yup.
Quote from: the other anonymous on July 04, 2007, 05:01:43 PM
Next Topic: ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT!! (Note: not an OB, just a haiku about one...)
holy fuck lasers!
death zaps coming from above?!
shit, it's HIMEOBS!
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on July 05, 2007, 06:34:19 PM
When the moon hits your
Eye. Its a like pizza pie
that's amore. yup.
(http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u289/PayneAlpha/jappack.png)
once when i was nine
this guy gave me a lollipop
that day really sucked
THE SCROLL OF BUDDHA'S GHOST PENIS COMMANDS YUO!
(http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/9992/longscrollwz9.jpg)
that was great. a little wordy though?
THAT WASNT A HAIKU!
It might be... I dunno how many syllables it had, do you?
THAT WASNT A HAIKU!
Quote from: Ratatosk on July 13, 2007, 06:35:05 PM
It might be... I dunno how many syllables it had, do you?
"scroll"
1 syllable. 17 times.
scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll
scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll
scroll scroll scroll scroll snow
all i see is fnords
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on July 13, 2007, 08:58:49 PM
all i see is fnords
And the the spirit of Eris settled upon poor Ratatosk and she said: See and Look! For Rev. What's-His-Name has forced upon you a filk, and you must take down the words of the Filk and post them so that all may be infected.
And I saw and there were words, sung by St. Gulik and yet it was not Gulik, but some Beatles instead:
Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord.
There's nothing on the pages of the news
And that nothing is why you've got the blues.
Nothing you can see but you can learn how to spot the CoN
It's easy.
There's nothing hidden in a Twenty-Three.
No one behind the Masks for you to see.
None of it is true, but if you give it some time
It's easy.
All I see is Fnords, All I see is Fnords,
All I see is Fnords, Fnord, Fnords is all I see..
Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord.
All I see is Fnords, All I see is Fnords,
All I see is Fnords, Fnord, Fnords is all I see..
The secrets all are there for you to find.
The magic can be found if your not blind.
In 23's and 42's and of course The Law of 5's.
It's easy.
All I see is Fnords, All I see is Fnords,
All I see is Fnords, Fnord, Fnords is all I see
All I see is Fnords (not together now)
All I see is Fnords (but not really)
All I see is Fnords, Fnord, Fnords is all I see.
Fnords is all I see.
Fnords is all I see.
Fnords is all I see.
And the did the spirit of Eris rise up and exult in her FnordFest.
um not a haiku
i really like cinnamon toast
har har har har thump
Paraphrase Beatles
But fnord is not all you need
Roll so, ITT
oh my fucking god
why did you bump the haikus?
Damn you, RWHN! Damn you! :argh!:
This thread is being put
into lockdown mode, god how
I hate you all, really.
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on October 24, 2007, 07:43:27 PM
oh my fucking god
why did you bump the haikus?
Damn you, RWHN! Damn you! :argh!:
becuz i love you all
and this is how i show my
love and affection.
kisses.
Our stylized poems
Leaning to fail, time to mod?
My distraction gone.
:sad:
perhaps it is time
to shut this thread down for good
It's time for Tanka!
This fucking thread is
the only reason to come
to this fucking board
Ha! Come one, Come all,
Celebrate Haiku Freedom
We did overcome.
Let's all have a dance.
As the mighty suck and fail
Is once again free.
:banana: :hammer: :boot: :hosrie: :cheers: :deadhorse: :tao&evt:
COCK, REPOST AND FAIL.
COCK, REPOST AND FAIL, YOU SEE?
COCK, REPOST AND FAIL.
\
:mullet:
Not quite Tu quoque
But still only has odd look
Emote! Does nothing!
what ever happened
to posting NT for the
haiku which follows?
It allows for the
encouragement and free flow
of haiku chakra
Exactly correct
We can't hold down free spirits
Beauty like the wind
:lulz:
I missed you, Hunter
you still homeless or some shit?
No.
I'm currrently in the third or so week of a wild ride, though.
It seems to be winding down.
I still stop in to fight for justice...
Hardly noticed you were gone Hunter, but now that I do, I miss ya man.
Those that I work with
Do not know the algebra
In Ire, I will teach
Seek world peace through trig
Less Differentiation
More Integration.
Well spoken!
Self enrich at work
Toil, folk not hired to help
Hence slack begets slack.
don't fuck the body
just don't don't fuck the bodhi
madly, it has AIDS
today i woke up
my girl gave me some good stuff
now i'm eating toast
I lurve the haiku
I am flush with excitement.
That's a lot of heart.
No next topics.
You guys suck ass.
damn.
i only clicked on this thread to see if TGRR had written a hate filled haiku.
:sad:
no haiku haiku
next topic: roger's teevee
hate experience
(sorry, most godawful haiku evar)
These are not Haiku,
Please refer to a season,
Like snow for winter.
Quote from: Xooxe on November 10, 2007, 03:13:00 AM
These are not Haiku,
Please refer to a season,
Like snow for winter.
the red tongue of fall
licks toads of discontentment
please to eat my ass
next topic: we will all die a brutal, unblinking death, starting with you.
Quote from: Mangrove on November 10, 2007, 12:25:38 AM
damn.
i only clicked on this thread to see if TGRR had written a hate filled haiku.
:sad:
Wait all you damn like
I write no poems for ingrates
Go ram a gas truck.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 10, 2007, 06:16:37 AM
Quote from: Mangrove on November 10, 2007, 12:25:38 AM
damn.
i only clicked on this thread to see if TGRR had written a hate filled haiku.
:sad:
Wait all you damn like
I write no poems for ingrates
Go ram a gas truck.
:banana:
Haiku sucks, like a
cheap meth whore, and so do you
for reading this crap
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 10, 2007, 06:16:37 AM
Quote from: Mangrove on November 10, 2007, 12:25:38 AM
damn.
i only clicked on this thread to see if TGRR had written a hate filled haiku.
:sad:
I write no poems for ingrates
:lulz:
NT?????
(http://i197.photobucket.com/albums/aa261/broodwitch/dactylhead.gif)(http://i197.photobucket.com/albums/aa261/broodwitch/pterodactyl.gif)
You motherfuckers
- every single last one of you -
are all gonna PAY
nt: how you will be paying
With the body, out nose?
You know not the true Sodomy.
American Express.
nt: dealing with the trauma
My body is still
The casts are finished drying
Now, six weeks of suck
What does NT mean?
I'm too lazy to google
Someone tell me now.
Quote from: keeper entropic on November 27, 2007, 02:09:52 AM
What does NT mean?
I'm too lazy to google
Someone tell me now.
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/forumspecific/iwillusegooglebeforeaskingdumbquest.jpg)
Quote from: WIKIPEDIA MOTHERFUCKERWindows NT (New Technology) is a family of operating systems produced by Microsoft, the first version of which was released in July 1993. It was originally designed to be a powerful high-level-language-based, processor-independent, multiprocessing, multiuser operating system with features comparable to Unix. It was intended to complement consumer versions of Windows that were based on MS-DOS. NT was the first fully 32-bit version of Windows, whereas its consumer-oriented counterparts, Windows 3.1x and Windows 9x, were 16-bit/32-bit hybrids. Windows 2000, Windows XP, Windows Server 2003, Windows Vista, Windows Server 2008 (beta), and Windows Home Server are based upon the Windows NT system, although they are not branded as Windows NT.
Windows NT is a full...
Hold on, my computer froze...
Yes, Microsoft job.
Next topic, dumbfucks
that is what it means, now choose
something or just die.
NT: how people who don't choose a next topic should die.
you know the feeling
two grown men ripping out your
rectum with bare hands?
NT: two buttcheeks, one says to the other: love will tear us apart. again.
The Joy Division
Never did see THIS coming
But shot in the dark
NT: Musical blasphemy
Quote from: Richter on November 27, 2007, 01:31:57 PM
The Joy Division
Never did see THIS coming
But shot in the dark
NT: Musical blasphemy
Listen to my song
You want to touch my bag pipes?
Sorry, you canter.
NT: The proper way to suck eggs.
gently but with love
al jorgenson was lying
you will not succeed
NT: battlefield earth: the movie :lulz:
Scientologists
L. Ron and Travolta were
No excuse for this
NT: The death of funnay
bleeding in the street
everyone laughing at him
that's bad, thought the clown
NT: little computer people
they want to be big
It is not in their control
Alas, such is F8
NT: granola bars
It may be healthy,
oats, fruit, honey in a block
Still, it tastes like crap
NT: Video Games
I'll gun you down twice!
First, in Halo 3 online.
Then, next week at school.
NT: Your Job
Teaching kids to Say:
No to drugs and alcohol.
Then, go home and drink.
NT: Trapezoids
One. Two. Three. Four. Five?
You're doing it wrong again.
And, no right angles.
NT: How puns kill you
I meant it in jest
but the Captain hated puns
Now I'll be keelhauled.
NT: Durian Fruit
(Oh you said kill, not keel...)
I like to kill kids
Fuck the next topic you fags
I like to murder
Churchill had his scotch
JFK his Marilyn
Hunter loves his hate
NT: People who complain about children's movies
well i did think that
sex scene was a littlebit
off dont you agree?
NT: stealing Cain's favourite tricks
Quote from: triple zero on December 04, 2007, 05:26:57 PM
well i did think that
sex scene was a littlebit
off dont you agree?
NT: stealing Cain's favourite tricks
There she stands alone,
at the usual corner
I beat Cain to her.
NT: 4Chan
Can't troll the /b/tards
They're too weird there already.
How do I shit Brix?
NT: Orange
i say banana,
again i say banana,
now i say orange.
NT: I should have taken that left turn at Albequerque
That shameless Rabbit
Haughty mallard. Elmer Fudd,
Cannot shoot either.
NT: inappropriate ninja.
he entered that knight
but he had been sound asleep
and he liked horses
NT: lol whut?
It's un-pearable
Wisdom's tree, yet foolish fruit
The Garden kicks out.
NT: Office bathroom sports.
a urinal cake
two co-workers with yard sticks
Game-On! Yes! Game-On!
NT: Don Cherry
"Mr. George Zimmerman,
You have plaid three piece suits eh?"
"I Guarantee It!"
NT: something boring
Seed of life bursts out
Insectoid larvae issue forth
Cause? Lesser Wevil.
NT: Horsehoes and hand grenades
I was hoping someone would go that route.
mega :mittens:
anyway...
tossing the metal
woot! the clang, the ringer, woot!
oh fuck, pin, splodey!
NT: co-workers who fuck things up and create more work for you.
You let yourself in
to my office, "Can you help..."
There goes my deadline.
NT: The periodic table of the elements.
H He Li Be B
C N O F Ne Ma Al
Si P S Ar K
NT: Mg and Cl, cause i skipped those
Burns bright and shiny
Signaling the release of
The deadly gas bomb
nt: virtual reality paradoxes
one duck virtual
the other, reality
what a pair of ducks
nt: an even worse pun than this
Thus a pun more dire:
A pencil without sharp end
Really, what's the point?
nt: freezer burn
It's only called that
A pound of frostburned liver
Doesn't count as cooked.
nt: scene kids
My father said once
Kids are better scene than heard
Whoops, damn synonyms.
nt: cinnamons
Where you gonna run
Decadence from the far east.
to. All on that day.
NT: Ball Bearings.
We made the porkchops
No more hand-me-down food-stuffs
They taste like mothballs!
NT: Professional wrestling
Spandex men fly high
Wasted physics, great applause
I can smell cooking
NT: Cougar, bellfry, mandolin.
Up in a bellfry
Sharon Stone and Peter Buck
He Found The River
NT: Michael Stipe does Laundry
ore wa D yo
kanojo ippai iru
playboy janai yo
I'm D!
I have many girls
i'm not a playboy "playboy- japanese term for player"
NT: Pope Lecherous is an anime fanboy ^_^
"Playboy" is also a 20th century American term for "player", hence the magazine of the same title.
NOT A HAIKU!!!!
Quote from: hunter s.durden on January 14, 2008, 03:35:07 PM
NT: Pope Lecherous is an anime fanboy ^_^
Oh you weeaboo
With your japanese haiku
hai desu desu
NT: After he loses the election, Ron Paul becomes a pro-wrestler
Paul is in the ring.
unleashing his signature
move, The Unfair Tax
NT: Ham-O-Gram
Doorbell rings – ding dong
Three little pigs on your porch
Ham-o-gram for you
nt: Hillary stripping for votes
Hey you! Hillary!
I think you missed that spot there.
Wallpaper's a bitch!
NT: The Wiggles vs. The Teletubbies
Inneffective sword.
Improbable colon form.
For the kids, ya know.
NT: She blinded me with science.
Physics, chemistry
It's poetry in motion
Until the flashbang
NT: Seltzer water
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on January 14, 2008, 05:15:58 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on January 14, 2008, 03:35:07 PM
NT: Pope Lecherous is an anime fanboy ^_^
Oh you weeaboo
With your japanese haiku
hai desu desu
I know i am so awesome.
I'm living in japan right now. At least for another few months
NT: After he loses the election, Ron Paul becomes a pro-wrestler
Infuse stagnant pool
Bubbles will make an odd drink.
remember: add scotch
NT: PWN Thyself
I need a tissue
I reach out for a hanky
FUCK! IT'S SANDPAPER!
NT: Emmanuel Lewis is a Rapist
Webster the giant
White wimen the mountain top
ass bleeding in June
NT: spastic colons
colons: similes
like this : that :: thither : hither
sometimes: out: control
NT: Erotic punctuation
Cute apostrophe
Her hyphen fine, but alas!
Time for period.
NT: Meat packing machinery.
WELL?
STEP UP DAMMNIT!
Meat packing machine
Consuming all meat in sight
NO! PLEASE NOT MY MEAT!
NT: With only Hillary and Obama, white men will just have to decide whether to vote their race or their gender.
difficult choices
which one should the wasp vote for
i do miss bubba
NT: Sheep Dip
baa baa baa baa baa
baa baa baa baa baa baa baa
baa baa baa baa blub
NT: taking the easy way out
Got a good reason.
She took me half the way there.
One way ticket, yeah.
NT: Stag Beatles
That one-legged harpie,
Took all my dough and now I'm
Hanging with Ringo.
NT: spider goats
Ungulate spider
From thy silken udders leak...
Fuck! This is not milk!
NT: Coconut crabs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coconut_crab)
Stay away, palm thief!
Don't take my shiny pots--go
Eat a fucking fig.
NT: Richter's avatar
Apt pupil, goatse?
The stretching can't be healthy
I know I blink now.
NT: standardized tests
Bubble the answer
Truth mandated by the State
Shit, two minutes left.
NT: Tacky lawn ornaments
OH! but how I do wish
Your Gnome would Roam away
From your trailer's hood!
NT: Dad I took up knitting
Mittens, sweaters, socks
Sorry Dad, failed out of school
Now knitting for cash
NT: Overused emoticons
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
:fap::fap::fap::fap::fap::fap::fap:
:argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
NT: things you don't want to find in your pocket.
wut this n poc-kit?
PLZ NOT 2 B AIDS K THX
sack of poo?! OH NOES!
nxt topik: BAD GRAMMAR
Not taught well in school
Fills internets, makes eyes bleed
PLZ NO MOAR IT HURTS.
NT: DIY piercings
First time trying this
It does not hurt too bad but
The cat won't hold still
NT: naked sports
Hello there darlin
Here for the track and field match?
Here's my javelin.
NT: Ron Paul watching the Super Tuesday returns.
Federal Reserve
stole all my bloody votes, I blame
the UN and Jews.
NT: why Sonic Youth should learn to play instruments properly.
3 chord progression
sex pistols invented it
moar constipation
nt: toilet lickers
Um excuse me sir
what do you think you're doing?
Oh! Senator Craig?
NT: The real reason Moss isn't going to the Pro Bowl.
Oh woe are the Pats
Sore losers the lot of them
Get over it, Moss
NT: Next year's Manning family dinner commercials
http://limerickdb.com/?33
QuoteThere was an old man
From Peru, whose lim'ricks all
Look'd like haiku. He
Said with a laugh "I
Cut them in half, the pay is
Much better for two."
Quote from: Suu Fett on February 06, 2008, 08:08:57 PM
Oh woe are the Pats
Sore losers the lot of them
Get over it, Moss
NT: Next year's Manning family dinner commercials
Dad stares at turkey.
Mother calmly serves the peas.
Keep the TV off.
NT: Transubstantiation in the disco
Don't you wanna know
why we keep starting fires?
It's our desire...!
...Totally unoriginal and not transubstantiation, deal.
NT: 100% Wooden Stickety Stick!
HOLY SHIT A STICK!
FUCKING AWESOME STICK, but yet,
It's no Rod From God.
NT: The wheels on the bus.
the wheels fell off, woe.
because someone was too tired
to tighten the nuts
NT: RWHN curses the snow
Shoveling drives on
the winter of discontent
wishing he were me.
8)
NT: Bookstore toilet effluvia.
Large men splish and splash.
This is no second childhood.
Don't borrow his shoes.
NT: Videre Vargary Viagara
Help to fight Blurgiss
Book of vision guides the way
four hours call doc
NT: pepermint barnacles
There was an old whale named Andy
whose equipment was uncommon, uncanny
his briny old scrote
was the size of a boat
and it tasted like pepperment candy
NT: haiku vs limerick
oh my fucking god
not this fucking shit again
jesus fucking christ
Yes, Jesus fucked Christ
As any healthy man would
What? He had a wank
NT: vex forgot to post an NT
NT: waterboarding
Really? I'd love to!
I enjoy water skiing.
WAIT! What's the bag for?
NT: Cars to avoid.
Is that a semi?
Not really it's optimus.
OH SHIT, GET IN THE-
NT: The human condition, and the subtle play of light on autumn leaves.
Flaming water gleam
The human condition blows
Chunks from monkey's ass
NT: pompous poets and their piddling poetry
Never use a rhyme
If you want to sound sublime.
...works most of the time.
:barstool:
next topic: the storage and use of moonpies
moonpie... oh moonpie
conveniently brown color
they will not suspect
nt: leave it to beaver
Were you expecting
a double entendre here?
ha ha ha ha ha!
nt: Celebrate your favorite former President on President's Day in a haiku
Start a nuclear war.
Wear beard, top hat, and hot pance.
Lincoln, in grave, laughs.
NT: Bull Moose Party
Bull moose bull moose bull
Big wigs, hahaha get it?
moose bull moose bull moose
NT: Poland.
Hopping in the car
It's off to Poland I go
Nope, not THAT Poland.
NT: wild card
After he's had a
few, Orson Scott Card always
cheats at Ender's Game
NT: Video games for elderly people
Now: Nintendo Wiis
installed in nursing homes to
exercise old folks
(srsly, look it up)
NT: 000 is a commie
Orange, the new Red.
You can see Warsaw twitching
Tulip -esque Kremlin
NT: Cinnamon
Jamaican me hot!
I am? But you are married.
That's a Sin (a) mon!
NT: fail
there once was a woman from calcutta
who tried to dance in some butta
losing her grip
she slopped and she slipped
and now her mouth's full of stutta
NT: vaseline
so, Jesus, don't want me
for a sunbeam, sunbeams are
not real like me
nt: don't expect me to cry
for all the reasons
I had to die, dont ever
ask your love of me.
NT: oh no, not me. I never lost control
Oh, I have never
Lost control of my bladder
The other end, heh, well...
Subject: Castro's Retirement
You're face to face with
the man who sold the world
doo doo de doo doodledoo-doo
NT: david bowie fucks muppets
AH! reboo, reboo!
fuzzy pressure down on me
yiff in space furfag
NT: What should i eat for dinner?
Haiku gets better
The crow, is it tasty?
Really, try the fish.
NT: Cucumbers
Good evening my dear,
I'm Dressing you with my eyes,
You look good in Ranch.
NT: It's 3 a.m. What will you do?
3am eternal
KLF did once sing, adios
to your sampled songs
Next topic: the rise of China and Russia threatening US hegemony
o falling empire
buy our debt and sorrow up
with debt and sorrow.
NT: Seven of Nine's boobs
On star trek I think
they are mechanical tits
So watch Shark instead
NT: The Kama Sutra of Trolling
lean forward and click
with your ip behind you
....you need to stretch moar
NT: Oprah's next book of the month is about feel-good trolling for a new you
Soccer moms post flames
Makes them feel young and sexy
I need new hobby.
NT: Embarassing things in your "go-bag"
Pay no attention
To the Nickelback CD
In my Go Bag, pfft!
nt: Stevie Wonder
Way to go, blind man
Steven Colbert says you're God
Rock on, man, rock on
NT: Dining room chairs
All my chairs are gone
I didn't mean what I said
Furniture will spawn.
NT: ode to an intoxicant
Healing Concoction
Coffee, Jameson and Weed
A cure-all... or not
NT: Richard Dawkins
Alright, we get it
God is just a delusion
Just get over it.
NT: The Supermarket
Lets give this a try.
Shopping for some crap
booze and condoms for later
broke so I'll just steal
nt: the duck billed platypus
stealing this face and
having a marmet's body
$15.95
the rhythm of the night
This night, what to do?
Trenchcoat and wang, or just mug?
I know! I will poomp!
NT: The lonliest cubicle decoration
Everything packed but
A clay mug, "Number One Dad."
He died yesterday.
Next topic: the noble ampersand (&)
Noble Ampersand
The uniter of the words.
Known and noted drunk.
NT: I got a Fender Stratocaster in my pance!
Fender is for show
A stand-in for truth. My soul?
Claypool's Rainbow Bass.
NT: Furikuri
Suicide? Oh no.
This anime by Gainax
Will leave you dying.
NT: Tyra Banks
Quiet empty banks
Along the Tyra river
(Turmoil lies within)
(since I had no idea who Tyra Banks is)
next: metahaiku
First, five syllables
Next count seven syllables
Then return to five
next: Feudal Society (or Futile Society)
Over there, Hatfields.
Just down the road there's McCoy's.
Appalachia!!!
NT: Where is Hunter?
Pee stained kitchen floor,
Empty bottles of bourbon,
Hunter sleeps outside.
NT: Haiku of Puns.
Don't shake the baby
Before you break the seal, to
avoid blubbering.
NT: that was awful!
I am full of awe
the last haiku was EPIC
Perhaps, EPIC FAIL!
NT: Motivational Speakers
TACK BEH, TACK CHO EH!
Said the Klingon roughly in
Motivation Speech
NT: STFU n00b!
Quote from: Payne on April 04, 2008, 09:44:43 PM
TACK BEH, TACK CHO EH!
Said the Klingon roughly in
Motivation Speech
NT: STFU n00b!
"Law of Fives" and "Fnord"
"Illuminati is here!"
Shhhh, Payne may hurt you!!!
NT: animal pelts
Walking towards downtown
Poof! A badger appears and starts
throwing the snowballs.
NT: root beer
Sassafras is good
but you must be very careful
too much can kill you
NT: Orgone Energy
Hey, lemme just stick
You inside this cabinet
(it's good for yer health)
NT: Phlogiston particles
Once it's been lit up
It's dephlogisticated!
All that's left is calx.
topic: The influence of William Shakespeare on dada artists. (Or, if you'd prefer, the influence of dada artists on William Shakespeare)
Alas poor Yorick
I knew him, Horatio,
flying baby shit
NT: The first thing Cram is films with his new video camera
Did I turn it on?
What is that flashing red light?
OSHI-! fix my pance!
nt: inside maya angelou
My intestines hurt.
A bowel movement is here.
All near me : HEADS UP!
NT
fake train
For that which is real
Cannot move us here to there
False locomotion
NT: Triangle and Robert
Robert with the rod
Did with all the grace in him
Slam that triangle
NT: Easter in St. Louis
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on April 04, 2008, 10:55:14 PM
Alas poor Yorick
I knew him, Horatio,
flying baby shit
Brilliant. :lol:
Fetid giant arch,
I hid eggs in your shadow.
Someone stole you all. :(
topic: The many magnificent facets of cats
You twist and turn them
But no water ever comes-
Oh. You said "facets."
NT: Taboo Soup
I hide in the dark.
Nobody can catch me here.
Some spills, but that's fine.
NT: Rat Bite
Frothing at the mouth
What was that in my sandwich!?
Furry scamping thing.
topic: Milano (the cookies, tempter of men)
Orange? Rasberry?
I like Mint most. My girlfriend:
"Where are my cookies?"
NT: Tolkein's rap career : Silmar- illin'
I'm Frodo Baggins,
I'm the Real Frodo Baggins
Imma cap yo ass.
NT: Richter must die.
So, Ricther must die.
His fail, of high magnitude.
He quakes, where he stands.
NT: Lemmy as President of the USA
Running for office
His history speaks for itself
But oh god! That mole!
NT: bear claws
Oh look a friend
He moves in for a big hug
Why am I painey?
Next Topic: Necrophilia
From "Visitor Q":
Even a corpse can get wet!
Oh wait, it's just shit.
next topic: Bibliophilia (yes, in that way)
Is anyone here?
Come forth my hardbound love queen...
AH! A papercut!
NT: Meth
OH Yes, You Great Whale!
Impale me with your hot prose
and your Moby Dick.
next topic: infophillia (just to keep with it)
Both good, so:
meth + infophilia
A shack in the woods
(But connected to the web)
Refresh, boil, refresh.
topic: doubleposting
(lol)
Finally my chance
My brilliance will at last-
HEY! I was here first!
NT: Smilieys
(D'oh!)
:lulz: :D :mrgreen: :) :sad:
:roll: :p :fap: 8) :mrgreen: :D :lulz:
:argh!: :oops: :fnord: :| :?
NT: Thomas Edison
Menlo Park's Wizard
Electrocuted dogs, cats
"AC is evil!"
topic: Tesla
Hey! Over here! Hey!
I can build stuff too you know!
No, no! Come back....please?
NT: Mad scientists
Quote from: Shaman Yacatismic on April 07, 2008, 09:07:36 PM
Hey! Over here! Hey!
I can build stuff too you know!
No, no! Come back....please?
NT: Mad scientists
LOL!!!
At last, I have it!
Never again will I lack
Electronic FLAN!
topic: Flan
I will not eat it.
I won't eat flan in a can.
Fuck off, Sam I Am.
NT: Stranded in Luxemborg
We are Luxem Borg.
Let's assimilate Europe!
There is no escape.
topic: the french language
I'm sorry, what? Hm?
Why yes I'm american.
That sounds like a curse.
NT: German Industrial Musik
untz fahren fahren farhen untz
untz auf der autobahn untz
we have arrived untz
NT: vocoders
Zzt, qwan uo fear it?
Fear za bweet and za rizzum?
Moor Masheen zen man!
NT: 80's synthesizers
always dance to the
tech-no-logical world of
italo disco
NT: fabcabs named desire
(.....shit.....I have no idea what that is.... :?)
sorry, i meant to say "fapcab", of course, and: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=15864.0
Hats, guns, mustaches
A plot typed by a monkey
What were we watching?
NT: Trench Warfare
War of attrition
Oh fucking hell, a grenade!
My face is no more
NT: Poodles
Whats your purpose, dog?
Too small to hunt anything
Whiny little bitch
NT: Dobermans
I saw one of these
Slaughtered by a small poodle.
True story, honest.
topic: double dutch (because I thought I saw it in the previous haiku for some reason)
Double dutch is no
where in the last haiku I
check it thoroughly
NT: Damn dirty apes.
oo oo oo oo oo
ee ee ee ee ee ee ee
bananas! throw shit!
NT: dykes
Anonymously
Evil makes bad haiku so
I make one that's worse
NT: Revenga!
Quote from: keeper entropic on April 08, 2008, 03:19:06 AM
Anonymously
Evil makes bad haiku so
I make one that's worse
NT: Revenga!
:lulz:
Do you remember?
What you did to me long ago?
Now I smash your face.
NT: Gangs
Come on people!
Thats my corner, dog.
You ain't down with Bagel Union?
BANG BANG BANG BANG.....bitch!
NT: Inactivity
Expect no action
Thought, static until it moves.
Still, ceaseless motion.
NT: The WRONG fruit
Hello there, thailor.
Why don't you thit on my lap now?
(......That's not what you meant?)
topic: Subverting the form of the haiku.
Seven five seven?
What in the fuck is this shit?
You're doing it wrong.
NT: Not in the cabinet!
Alas, I was stuck.
But not in the cabinet!
Stuck in the closet. (closet... closet...)
NT: Create a limerick by combining two haiku. (This can be done, I've done it myself) or if you can't be arsed: Just write a haiku about limericks
Screw your limericks
Do I look Irish to you?
Here? Haikus only.
NT?
The new topic was
Omitted by The Striped One.
We can move on, though.
NT : Deerhoof
lies. It was keeper entropic who omitted it, not me! Mine was just herculean, nay! Nigh sysyphean.
Quote from: TheStripèdOne on April 09, 2008, 05:10:11 AM
lies. It was keeper entropic who omitted it, not me! Mine was just herculean, nay! Nigh sysyphean.
Not a haiku. Yuo lose five internets.
Upon the Deer foot
Two toes' keratin plating
Stepping through bear poop
NT: Ron Paulbots
Peace by paece bi piece
sheds skins of lies letting slip
Clinton Eastwood
whittling
Between my fingers
A slow steady chk, chk, chk
A new form takes shape
topic: Sysyphus
Crafty, horny man;
Now, dick rolls rock FOREVER.
Who's clever now, bitch?
NT : Malaclypse the Younger
Carrying the sign
Bearing the word, prophet "Dumb"
But, know there is more
NT: Jesus, Buddha, and a Monkey
Jesus, Buddha and
monkey walk into a bar.
That's all i thought of.
NT: There in 30 minutes or it's free.
Yeah, that's what she said.
Of course in reality
I was good for 3.
NT: entrails of tears
I shat tears because,
funny things were too funny,
Intestinal woe
NT: musician assassinations
A real deadly mix
Vocorders powered by herb
Hashassinated
NT: All holes are the same in the dark
No one can hear you
Screaming, "No! That's the wrong hole!"
When you are in space.
topic: International Space Station
No one can hear you
Screaming, "No! That's the wrong hole!"
When the com is off.
NT: Space Rape '98 (a video game I just made up)
I'll just pretend the above haiku is about the ISS. Horrifying thought.
Space... The final rape.
You're on a five year mission!
Rape stuff and get points.
NT: PIIIIIGS IIIIIIN SPAAAAAAAACE
In the distant space
Rodger Wilco goes to Jail
space tax expensive
teddy ruxbin
edit: dammit hold up
captain link hogthrob
gets caught in piggy's warp drive
they makin bacon
teddy ruxbin
Ruxpin, his love life
Failed, without his VHS
Could not get it up.
NT: "I named my guns Entropy and Irony"
One of them broke down,
The other saved a guy's life.
That ought to teach me...
topic: misuse of the word "irony"
This lump of metal
it is grey and very hard
It is irony.
NT: why the above Haiku should be grounds to have me killed.
(I have this T-shirt) (http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/demotivators_1996_347336)
Puns are valid grounds for death
In third world countries.
topic: Discworld
I never read it
But it froze the haiku thread
So we skip this one.
NT: Famous last words
Profound? Poetic?
Just wouldn't be a good laugh.
"Everyone! Watch this!"
NT: Rum
Oh, Sailor Jerry
the things you do to my head
drunken rants are great
nt: people who cut themselves
My wrists look better
With gashes, deep and bleeding
On the bathroom floor.
NT : Doublespeak
Vegetarian:
Eats that which cannot fight back
and feels superior.
NT: awkward metaphor
Like a teenage boy
Nothing but elbows and knees
I knock it over
NT: The future of society
Ha ha ha ha ha
we are so fucked its crazy
death rays from above
nt: "Bob"
Ha ha ha ha ha
You are so fucked it's crazy
Buy your salvation!
NT: Unoriginality
I write my haikus
With that wonderful machine,
Photocopier
NT: Dick Cheney's Wet Dream
Lewinsky and Rice
Playing nice, but Paula Jones!?
Horror! Yet still came.
NT: Iron Chef tragedies
It was battle beef.
But the meat was not cooked well.
And Ted Allen Died.
NT: tl;dr
Syllables of five
What? Seven you say now? Oh dear.
This is too much work.
NT: Failed Haiku
The swan floats along
Sometimes there aren't enough syllables
Oh that last line was way too long
and damn it so was that one.
hell, now I have too many lines
and
Oh FAIL.
NT: Scientology
Quote from: Suu Fett on April 11, 2008, 04:22:47 PM
NT: Failed Haiku
just gonna jack this one...
There once was a man from the sticks
who liked to write limericks.
But he wrote them too short
I love anti-limericks.
Mean old Xenu man
Blows up billions of dead souls
GIANT THREE DEE FILMS!!!!!!!
topic: when drugs and science fiction mix
my bios-brain ticks
buy motor oil and lube
my philip k. dicks
teletubbies 2012
Scarring adult minds
They infiltrate your network
Singing happy songs.
topic: a haiku in which the second line is only one word.
Here is your big word
Antinflamatory
Keep your big word k?
NT: Tourettes
You missed an "i" there
In your FLYING BABY SHIT
word in the FUCK middle.
topic: obscenity
Fuck Fuck shit titty
douche bag cunt retarded fag
dont i sound so smart?
NT: trains
they're two they're four they're
SIX! SIX SIX! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE!
...trucks and hauling freight.
nt: (http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p81/misscougar_04/bbbbbbb.jpg)
Shredded cat body
But he's too cute to murder!
(Evil doggy mind)
topic: Ghostbusters (the movie)
Ghosts really exist.
If there's a ghost in your hood,
Who you gonna' call?
NT : Bob Dylan
Strumming the guitar,
Giving no chance to undead.
He busts ghosts with song!
topic: Zorses
Cossar Ewart, wow,
You made some fugly creatures.
You're so fucked up, man.
NT : Children in the Streets of Chicago
chicago street kids?
watchu talkin bout, willis?
watchu talkin bout?
NT: typical white women
"I like to eat 'green'"
"Right now, I'm in love with tea"
"Dear God, don't rape me!"
NT: pastel colors
colors like salmon
and teal are just pink and green
to those with testes
NT: testes
Found some in my soup.
I laughed, and ate them. Later:
Found that they were mine :(
topic: accidental autocannibalism
This is pretty good
But holding my fork is hard...
Where did my feet go?
(Well, the best I could come with. Sorry.)
NT: Poetry
Quote from: K-Scar on April 14, 2008, 05:08:53 AM
This is pretty good
But holding my fork is hard...
Where did my feet go?
(Well, the best I could come with. Sorry.)
NT: Poetry
Poetry is fine
But do it alone please and
Wash your hands after
NT: Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Hey, that word is quite long
pseudointellectuals
use it to sound smart
nt: wine drinking, bloodless anarchistic revolution spouting socialist communist pseudointellectuals
Quote from: Doktor Loki on April 14, 2008, 05:29:23 AM
Hey, that word is quite long
pseudointellectuals
use it to sound smart
nt: wine drinking, bloodless anarchistic revolution spouting socialist communist pseudointellectuals
Who are you calling
Psuedointellectual
My little chewtoy?
Next topic: Revenge of legendary proportions
wasnt really talk
ing 'bout you, but hey, vengeance
is cool with me, Rev.
nt: wildcard, do as though wilt
Quote from: Doktor Loki on April 14, 2008, 05:35:05 AM
wasnt really talk
ing 'bout you, but hey, vengeance
is cool with me, Rev.
nt: wildcard, do as though wilt
HEY! THAT'S CHEATING! :argh!:
Quote from: Doktor Loki on April 14, 2008, 05:29:23 AM
Hey, that word is quite long
pseudointellectuals
use it to sound smart
nt: wine drinking, bloodless anarchistic revolution spouting socialist communist pseudointellectuals
:mittens:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 14, 2008, 05:41:48 AM
Quote from: Doktor Loki on April 14, 2008, 05:35:05 AM
wasnt really talk
ing 'bout you, but hey, vengeance
is cool with me, Rev.
nt: wildcard, do as though wilt
HEY! THAT'S CHEATING! :argh!:
Sorry, brother, but have
you ever met a SubGenius that played all the way fair?
Flying psychic guys
And they're all Wiccan as well?
I must be on drugs.
new topic: George R R Martin but NOT fantasy books
since I appear to have killed it:
I write other stuff
But nobody seems to know.
I like toy knights, too!
topic: anything at all :x
Looking to the sun,
I shake my fist at the sky
and shout, Fuck This Noise.
NT: orange.
Orange is teh shit
Pretty color, tasty fruit
Shop at H&M!
:|
NT: :|
Blank stare at the wall
Be still, moved by nothing.
Enlightenment bores.
NT: Ode to the Llama
Your soft hair shorn away,
odd, but ok since you are
Reincarnated!
NT: Dali
The only dif'rence
'twixt Dali and this Haiku:
It is not Dali.
topic: Young Virgin Auto-Sodomized by the Horns of Her Own Chastity. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Young_Virgin_Auto-Sodomized_by_the_Horns_of_Her_Own_Chastity)
Know how you kill thread?
[See new topic in your post]
That's how haikus die.
NT: Stuck in an elevator.
Intercom for help
I strike a dynamic pose
Face door, whip it out
NT: steam powered would be better
Quote from: keeper entropic on April 16, 2008, 02:04:51 AM
Know how you kill thread?
[See new topic in your post]
That's how haikus die.
NT: Stuck in an elevator.
But it's such a fun painting! :cry:
steam powered would be betterHeat of the moment
I shovel coal and start up
Steam-powered pumping.
(wink, nudge, etc.)
new topic: technology of a sufficiently high level is indistinguishable from magic
level nineteen tech
support guys are often mis-
taken for wizards
NT: private parts of speech
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on April 16, 2008, 04:09:11 AM
level nineteen tech
support guys are often mis-
taken for wizards
NT: private parts of speech
My big hairy balls
Recite poetry some days
When I let them out
NT: Hatred of all that is bipedal.
Those two legs of yours
Do not make you better than
Any other beast
Next Topic: Robotic primates
(http://www.robertocampus.com/wp-content/uploads/post_tutorial_monkey-vs-robot_1_470.jpg)
Robotic Primates
Eating robot bananas
Flinging nuts and bolts.
NT: Reasons to wear a helmet.
Quote from: The Space Pope on April 16, 2008, 05:38:17 AM
Those two legs of yours
Do not make you better than
Any other beast
Next Topic: Robotic primates
Your hate is too weak
You won't enjoy this decade
As much as you should
NT: Ignoring the NT.
Yay, Fluffy Bunnies!
Gut em, Chop em, and Cook em
Yay! It's Bunny Stew!
NT: semi-colonoscopy
I don't want cancer
So I went to the screening
Why they use a truck?! :x
NT: Marbles in yo Yarbles
Marbles and Yarbles
Aren't quite as dangerous as
Fables in Stables.
topic: i-pods and the fall of civilisation
My i-pod palying
Oblivious to the world
Falling around me
Next Topic: :fap:
Is that some Harry
Potter Slashfic. Ron does what
with a banana?
NT: The Drake equation
Alien life huh?
Sure it's probably out there.
Chance of meeting? Zilch.
topic: forgetting to add a new topic and having to edit the post
My Haiku complete
I click on the post button.
Hell! Forgot "NT"
NT: tea
Reason for most wars
At least, involving the Brits.
"Opium" Wars? Suuuure.
nt: Feudal China vs post-industrial Britain
I want to have tea.
I'm Out! Gotta go buy some.
But, the hill is steep.
NT: Captain Planet vs. Voltron
Damn you!
/
:argh!:
Earth! Water! Fire! Air!
But hey, where is Heart? Stepped on
By giant robot
nt: magic mushrooms
Shamanic mushrooms
I speak with spirits tonight
All things answer me
Next Topic: The Clash
gotta lose this skin
prison of punk: simple, blink,
sum, shouldn't stay, they should go
count chocula vs. boo berry
Quote from: Jenne on April 18, 2008, 08:18:16 PM
A better place to
leave pr0n would be the legis-
lators' offices
:lulz:
:mittens:
Pink fuck faces down
An anorexic vampire?
Will not eat either.
NT: lurk moar
lurking is moar good
to learn the weirding ways of
proper ignorance
nt: the eventual triumph of noobs over good
Did Jesus not say,
Noobs shall inherit the earth?
fucking noob-lover.
NT: PKing Jesus.
what is this p k?
meh, i really do not care
jesus christ it's hot
nt: carrion
Speaking of Jesus,
the poor bastard was left out
to rot on the cross.
NT: Heath Ledger
What is this brown spot?
On the newspaper? Heath bar
stained Daily Ledger
nt: someone clogging the tubes
I took a huuuuuuge dump
Had to flush three times. And now-
The internet's down
NT: world's worst tattoos
"Love and hat" not a
winner. But "live fats die yo gnu"
is probably even worse.
NT: Genghis Khan as a metrosexual
what does not suit him
will be crushed in tradition
with mongol fashion
NT: http://sulkyknowledge.su.funpic.de/inspiration.html
Shouting at pigeons,
This crusty bearded old sage,
Has crap in his cave.
new topic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epididymitis
three internets for anyone that can guess what (randomly drawn) tarot card the previous haiku was based on.
my guess is the Hermit?
The Meter Maid?
Quote from: triple zero on April 22, 2008, 06:41:56 PM
three internets for anyone that can guess what (randomly drawn) tarot card the previous haiku was based on.
my guess is the Hermit?
The rules card.
The Ace of Spades
Mudkip?
Where are the haikus?
Roaming with the buffalo
and the lamanites.
NT: Once burned, twice shy
My My My Once Bit-
Oh Crap the Bar is on Fire!
Well, Comeback Ruined.
NT: Tom Keifer's Morning Routine
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on April 25, 2008, 02:54:23 PM
My My My Once Bit-
Oh Crap the Bar is on Fire!
Well, Comeback Ruined.
:|
Just remember you don't live in the state that it happened in. That shit has been on the front page of the Providence Journal since then.
it was supposed to be sarcastic irony, like when that was all going down I'm pretty sure that was what was going through Jack Russel's head, not any actual concern for those inside who were burning allive.
Sorry, probably didn't come across well on the internets.
THIS LINE HAS FIVE BEATS
IN THIS LINE I COUNT SEVEN
I WIN HAIKU GAME
NT how TI won the Haiku Game
TI WON THIS GAME
BY COMBINING SYLLABLES
IN FIVE SEVEN FIVE
NT: END / OF / THREAD
End of Thread? NEVER!
Fail upon fail without end
Till the forum dies.
NT: Why n00bs love the Haike thread and the Memebomb thread so much
no 3-word-story
no prior poster praising
noobs: (http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i17/Mahknip/attention-red.jpg)
nt: :fuckmittens:
My magic mittens:
The fingers are a bit stuck;
I wave, they punch me.
NT: new approach to learning
Your mind is fallow
The old way is quite shallow
This way to follow
nt: desperation
A building corner?
A dumpster, bush, or stretch limo?
Wherever! Must Pee!
NT: Strangulatory holiday decor
garroting tinsel
to any unwanted guests
wreaths: choking hazard
NT: Disposing of the bodies on a gray Christmas morning
damn, half ton lady
shoulda fixxd grandma's treadmill
for christmas last year
nt: monkeywrenching
Applying Physics,
No plastic applicator
It's not a tampon.
NT: Schedule 5 containment for rouge freethinkers.
Hey, Sound the Alarm.
This boy has breached the thought zone.
And he has blush on.
nt: Satan trolls Jesus' Blog.
Your coverage of
the pope's visit to New York
was highly biased
NT: Jesus trolls the PD Blog (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/blog/)
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on April 29, 2008, 06:47:22 PM
Hey, Sound the Alarm.
This boy has breached the thought zone.
And he has blush on.
:lulz:
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on April 29, 2008, 06:55:41 PM
Your coverage of
the pope's visit to New York
was highly biased
NT: Jesus trolls the PD Blog (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/blog/)
EggGASM, clever
Well, I will fill mine with the
drought and pestilence.
nt: door to door salesman selling doors.
Hey! Buy this door! It's
axe proof. Unlike your last door.
(Sorry about that)
NT: Prank Call Abe Lincoln
Hi this is General
Grant from the front. Now tell me
what you're wearing, sexy
NT
Electric Six's influence on modern architecture
now flame retardant:
Discotechs and Taco Bell.
Thanks Electric Six!
NT: things you mutter while standing at a photocopier
Don't you wanna know
why we keep starting fires?
Insurance payouts.
NT: If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, come on sugar let me know.
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on April 29, 2008, 08:10:21 PM
now flame retardant:
Discotechs and Taco Bell.
Thanks Electric Six!
NT: things you mutter while standing at a photocopier
OH FUCK YOU.
Quote from: Suu! on April 29, 2008, 08:10:55 PM
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on April 29, 2008, 08:10:21 PM
now flame retardant:
Discotechs and Taco Bell.
Thanks Electric Six!
NT: things you mutter while standing at a photocopier
OH FUCK YOU.
I think your meter's a bit off, dearie.
My Haiku is betterer.
NT
Why Suu's haiku sucked.
Head in the damn clouds
She fails at everything she does
Jedi runs her life
NT: FULL HOUSE
Quote from: hunter s.durden on April 29, 2008, 09:12:29 PM
Head in the damn clouds
She fails at everything she does
Jedi runs her life
:roll:
I sound like her dad
"Turn off that damn Jedi movie"
The hatred flows now
NT: Pete and Pete
Hey, remember that
show that used to be on Nick?
alas, me neither
NT: childhood memories
Childhood memories,
I was try'n ta forget you!
(Synthesizer)
NT: Duran Duran
reach out for the sun-
rise and jump from the reflex
you just burned your hand
i'll make a bet: mindy's cheesecake or strudel?
Strudel's fun to say,
But cheesecake is delicious.
Cursed Dichotomies!
NT: How nobody likes haiku any more
What is a haiku?
Once beautiful poetry
Now, english homework
NT: ASCII Art
Can't you see the boat?
Boat? That's Kermit! Or.. boobs? No.
It's fucking stupid.
NT: Full House. (duh!)
Quote from: Anonymously Evil on May 07, 2008, 09:04:05 PM
Can't you see the boat?
Boat? That's Kermit! Or.. boobs? No.
It's fucking stupid.
NT: Full House. (duh!)
Everywhere you look,
the milkman, the paperboy
and the Olsen Twins
NT: TGIF (as in the ABC Friday Night lineup)
Ah, that damn jingle
And shows no one remembers
Or, at least I don't.
NT: Bambo, the deer from Deer Avenger
Ties on bandana
Faun takes unsteady first steps
and picks up a gun.
NT: BOB SAGGET!
He who made famous
the baseball bat to the crotch
Fuck You Bob Saget!!!
nt: Pterodactyl Handler X as a Bank Teller.
Two hundred dollars?
PTERODACTYLS WILL EAT YOU!
What kind of bills, please?
NT: referencing in-jokes that you don't really know.
How can I be a
Really real discordian?
What motorcycle?
NT: Why Hunter shaved his beard.
In the third quatrain,
the prophet said the shaving
will signal the end.
NT: Cram Lies.
"Yes it's a real 'stache
The check is in the mail, and
I don't love teh cock"
\\
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/Faces/cramwhut.png)
NT: The REAL reason WOMP wants your face
Clever MS Paint?
Really we're Iron Fappers
It is all a lie.
NT: Bad comic book / music combinations
"I am Iron Man"
Oh, Jughead you are Clever!
O Hai Mom! Cute dress.
nt: i hear banjos
An empty night field,
The cricket's song drowned out by
The wild banjo's call.
NT: needlessly anthropomorphizing household objects
The toaster, loyal
All others are treacherous
Keep me safe, Toasty!
NT: delicious bagels
Fine smoked salmon
Cream cheese, hope garlic bagel...
NO! ASIAGO!
NT: Leatherworking for profit only.
It's an okay job.
But I wish my commissions
Had less dog bondage.
NT: aminal cruelty.
Who am I to say
when a fetish goes too far.
Don't you like dog lips?
NT: God Balls
A favorite candy
everlasting Godstopper
Wonka's finest balls.
NT: Something Wicked This Way Comes
An often-used phrase:
Bubble bubble toil and shit,
Or Ray Bradbury?
NT: Roy Orbison
Only the Lonely:
A bad book and a worse song.
Know The Way I Feel?
NT: Pretty Boy Floyd
So, Pretty Boy Floyd
Had sex with L7 and had
an Ugly Kid Joe
NT: pfft!!!!
Pfft, I say to you
pissing me off one last time
I want chocolate
NT: My avatar
The metallic hump,
the echoing moan of steel
breeding time on Hoth
NT: Scooby Doo
The real mystery:
What is in the scooby snacks,
LSD or Meth?
NT: Head Scabs
Do not test your skin
When you dye your hair so then
Scalp scabs drive you nuts.
NT: earthquakes
i feel the earth move
shockwave shot throughout the house
gram ate many beans
nt: billy ocean
Who the fuck is that?
Just some rhythm and blues guy.
Not that I would know.
NT: Cobra Commander's Political Campaign
On Election Day,
Vote Commander and Destro.
Or fucking elsssssssssssss
nt: You find yourself hurtling towards the ground...
A susurrus of wild wind
Rushing past my face
Gee, the Earth is getting close...
Next: Armadillos
Quote from: Pataphoros on May 13, 2008, 02:27:09 PM
A susurrus of wild wind
Rushing past my face
Gee, the Earth is getting close...
Next: Armadillos
heh, it's an inside-out haiku.
awww... i knew this was bound to happen. i wrote a haiku and didn't get it posted in time. lol
Quote from: Rev. Whats His Name? on May 13, 2008, 02:29:12 PM
Quote from: Pataphoros on May 13, 2008, 02:27:09 PM
A susurrus of wild wind
Rushing past my face
Gee, the Earth is getting close...
Next: Armadillos
heh, it's an inside-out haiku.
Normally I'd pretend I meant to do that, but in this case we'll chalk it up to the as yet untouched coffee sitting in front of me.
Bony armoured shell
You think you are immortal?
Cars beg to differ.
NT: Knucles the Echidna
Alas, misspellings!
My poor typing killed this thread.
I'm a threadocide.
NT: adding -cide to things to create nonsense words
Quote from: TheStripèdOne on May 15, 2008, 06:26:13 PM
Alas, misspellings!
My poor typing killed this thread.
I'm a threadocide.
NT: adding -cide to things to create nonsense words
You spilled my last beer
Now you will be arrested
Held for brewicide
Next: Malapropism
The silly labels
May sometimes be confusing
when counting haiku
Next: Endocrinology
No nuts? You're in luck.
Extract of testes- Vwa-La!
Functions of hormones.
NT: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
Heard of this disease?
It is facetiously long.
Use "Silicosis"
NT: Richard Gere
Quote from: TheStripèdOne on May 15, 2008, 11:52:05 PM
Heard of this disease?
It is facetiously long.
Use "Silicosis"
NT: Richard Gere
:mittens:
Who cares about Gere?
I thought he had died by now.
Better work on that...
NT: Things you should not put in a toaster
Quote from: keeper entropic on May 16, 2008, 06:15:16 PM
Who cares about Gere?
I thought he had died by now.
Better work on that...
NT: Things you should not put in a toaster
Forks and knives and spoons
Don't belong in a toaster
Neither do your balls.
Next: Things that look like the Virgin Mary
Shaved my testicles,
Hair fell on the floor; and lo!
The Mother's image!
NT: colorblindness
Red Green and the Blue?
Thanks to Nigel and Trip 0,
I can't see orange.
NT: Things you do with your hand.
Quote from: Richter on May 16, 2008, 08:10:30 PM
Red Green and the Blue?
Thanks to Nigel and Trip 0,
I can't see orange.
NT: Things you do with your hand.
Pounding away with
great vigor until it comes
in spurts. Mmm, ketchup.
Next: Palindromes
Speaking as a mom,
the word palindrome
ain't a palindrome.
Felix broke haikus
He did not leave a next topic
Now, bring me his head.
NT: Decapitation
:d-cap sneak attack:
swift slice, felix feels nothing
not even regret
nt: scientology advertisement
I wanted a snack
I went to the fridge, alas
It had run away
nt: the door is a jar
When's a door not one?
Physic'lly impossible!
Yet, the jam was good.
(GET IT? DOOR JAM!?!?)
NT: Marlowe on Mars
Quote from: TheStripèdOne on May 19, 2008, 06:06:54 PM
When's a door not one?
Physic'lly impossible!
Yet, the jam was good.
(GET IT? DOOR JAM!?!?)
NT: Marlowe on Mars
A red wine is nice,
goes well with the rocks and dust.
Oh, you said
Marlowe!
NT: Bob Ross
Happy fucking trees!
It's your world, see it. Paint it.
This guy sedates me.
Next: jujubes
It's how those bagel
eaters get into your banks...
We'll find their "jew tubes"
NT: Useless Super powers.
hay whats with those nails!
MY NAME STARTS WITH 'I' NOT 'T'
I'LL BE BACK, BITCHES!
beeflog
Captain's log, Stardate...
Ofuk, it's a beef log now.
Um, the steak was good?
NT: U2
Quote from: Cainad on May 21, 2008, 04:41:43 AM
Captain's log, Stardate...
Ofuk, it's a beef log now.
Um, the steak was good?
NT: U2
Interesting, because I parsed it as "Bee Flog"
Quote from: TheStripèdOne on May 21, 2008, 04:50:18 AM
Quote from: Cainad on May 21, 2008, 04:41:43 AM
Captain's log, Stardate...
Ofuk, it's a beef log now.
Um, the steak was good?
NT: U2
Interesting, because I parsed it as "Bee Flog"
Hmm, while my parsing involves meat and is thus worth more points, I must admit that the concept of flogging bees is sickly amusing. Being a good sport, I shall make another haiku to honor your parsing:
Buzz, buzz, whack, whack, whack!
See pollen-covered legs twitch
Where's my honey, bitch?
NT: U2
"Can I borrow five
syllables?" "FU," he said.
I yelled, "FU2!"
Next: Dancing Lunch Ladies
Quote from: Cainad on May 21, 2008, 04:55:04 AM
Quote from: TheStripèdOne on May 21, 2008, 04:50:18 AM
Quote from: Cainad on May 21, 2008, 04:41:43 AM
Captain's log, Stardate...
Ofuk, it's a beef log now.
Um, the steak was good?
NT: U2
Interesting, because I parsed it as "Bee Flog"
Hmm, while my parsing involves meat and is thus worth more points, I must admit that the concept of flogging bees is sickly amusing. Being a good sport, I shall make another haiku to honor your parsing:
Buzz, buzz, whack, whack, whack!
See pollen-covered legs twitch
Where's my honey, bitch?
NT: U2
:lulz: Nice.
It's Eric the half-a-bee!
Erotic lunchtime,
We thought it would be great fun,
'til pubes in the soup.
NT: falling chandeliers
No mere teabagging
Will satisfy my hating
Need stand - in for balls
NT: The Littlest Lesbian (a children's book)
Quote from: Richter on May 21, 2008, 03:30:09 PM
No mere teabagging
Will satisfy my hating
Need stand - in for balls
NT: The Littlest Lesbian (a children's book)
She may look very cute
But too bad. A two-foot dyke
Won't hold much water.
Next: Aretha Franklin
Little Jane fell down.
Anne saw, and wanted to help!
Anne gave Jane kisses.
(doh!)
c'mon rescue me
the queen of soul is lonely
yeah, sock it to me
NT: genesis p. orridge
Quite Pandrogynous,
Improvisational tunes,
Much sex and taboo.
Psychic TV knew:
though the music was the glue,
Gristles made the news
Not the same today,
there will be no more throbbing
for poor Lady Jaye.
I felt like a few verses today
NT: Beeker
Quote from: daruko on May 21, 2008, 05:20:00 PM
Quite Pandrogynous,
Improvisational tunes,
Much sex and taboo.
Psychic TV knew:
though the music was the glue,
Gristles made the news
Not the same today,
there will be no more throbbing
for poor Lady Jaye.
I felt like a few verses today
NT: Beeker
(http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:yCHnHhsVO_MO2M:http://www.culturekitchen.com/home/images/hand_body_lotion.jpg)
Quote from: Nigel on May 21, 2008, 10:04:33 PM
Quote from: daruko on May 21, 2008, 05:20:00 PM
Quite Pandrogynous,
Improvisational tunes,
Much sex and taboo.
Psychic TV knew:
though the music was the glue,
Gristles made the news
Not the same today,
there will be no more throbbing
for poor Lady Jaye.
I felt like a few verses today
NT: Beeker
(http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:yCHnHhsVO_MO2M:http://www.culturekitchen.com/home/images/hand_body_lotion.jpg)
Lotion, the healer
Great for chafing and rashes
After a dry run
NT: Elevators
The elevator
the only place clean enough
to house my feces
NT: Feudalism
Serf's up dude! Hang ten
"Cowabunga!", cries the Knight.
As he trods masses.
NT: Inappropriate times for a musical scene.
Quote from: Richter on May 27, 2008, 10:04:53 PM
Serf's up dude! Hang ten
"Cowabunga!", cries the Knight.
As he trods masses.
NT: Inappropriate times for a musical scene.
THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE -
"
I said, 'my mom just passed on'
...died of AIDS at Rent"
Edit:
NT: phone call at a Chinese buffet
Hello? Oh hey mom.
No, I'm out eating chinese.
Um, boiled dumplings.
NT: BEEKER
In the Muppet Lab:
fried, shrunk, beaten and deflated.
All he cries is "meep".
NT: Hollow Earth Theory
The openings to
the hollow earth need to be
rule 34ed.
NT: Prank Call
Might I inquire,
whether your fridge is running?
Better go catch it.
NT: The love life of Bea Arthur
Tender moment then
leads to sex, but wait a tic--
What the shit is that!?
The love life of NP
Oh, how they want you,
Non-Polynomial time
To be proven P
Next topic: The riemann zeta hypothesis
Unsolved problems got
Nothing on Riemann-zeta's
Trivial zeros
Next: Onomatopoeia
Snap, Crackle and Pop
Bang, Zowie, Smash, Smack, Ka-Boom
Batman's Cereal!
NT: B Movies
I'm Gilbert Gottfried
It's USA's Up All Night.
Somebody Shoot Me.
NT: terror scarf
Quote from: Rev. Whats His Name? on June 02, 2008, 07:00:10 PM
I'm Gilbert Gottfried
It's USA's Up All Night.
Somebody Shoot Me.
NT: terror scarf
:lol:
Quote from: Rev. Whats His Name? on June 02, 2008, 07:00:10 PM
I'm Gilbert Gottfried
It's USA's Up All Night.
Somebody Shoot Me.
NT: terror scarf
Spag in a shemagh
No coffee, beaten by cops.
Now is scarf phobic.
NT: Earl of Grey
The Earl of the Grey
Writes Haiku in his own way
While rhyming with "ay"
NT: Fox
beast made of cunning
or shit-for-brains news station
only you can choose
Keith Olbermann
"What? Bill O is dead?"
"What do I talk about now?"
"Get Me Dan Patrick!"
Give Me Something To Believe In
Quote from: Rev. Whats His Name? on June 04, 2008, 01:29:05 PM
"What? Bill O is dead?"
"What do I talk about now?"
"Get Me Dan Patrick!"
Give Me Something To Believe In
Invisible friend
Up in the sky, He rules us.
It's the TRUTH, I swear!
Next: Bad 80's Synth Rock
Relax, don't do it
when you want to suck to it
when you want to come
Next: The universe isn't really expanding, its just getting fat
Gaia you lard sack!
You use to love exercise,
Run around the block!
NT: Blatant bias, boasting of brevity? Bravo! Bon chance, /b/
Alliteration:
a word for too many "bees",
or, maybe it's not?
NEXT: How I learned to stop worrying, and love Zappa
I worry no more
All I think about is now
Them titties and beer
next: Albinism in Nazi literature
Though white reigned supreme,
TOO white was deemed girly gay.
Stupid; like this theme.
NT: Grandiloquent Supercilious Pharisaical Puling :evil:
One day I was bored
I read the dictionary
I found some big words
NT: glop
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 10, 2008, 06:27:18 PM
One day I was bored
I read the dictionary
I found some big words
NT: glop
Fail. Here does this help? Smaller Word Translation: Verbose Haughty Bigoted Whining
I stand by my interpretation
Suit yourself.
All I have is glop,
but I'm so very hungry...
Wait, Bacon! I'm good.
NT: Bacon Ass Burgers
Hold pickles, lettuce,
Oh, and extra butthash please
Truly made my way.
NT: Flounce of the House of Usher
storm ripping mansion,
by one man's malediction,
house, like curtains, flounced
NT: a bitch in heat
she won't stop biting
the itch of careless breeding
mom's gone barhopping
pancakes!
The silly flapjacks
A sane person likes waffles
More than life itself.
NT: riding the atomic bomb
Quote from: Richter on June 16, 2008, 02:40:32 AM
The silly flapjacks
A sane person likes waffles
More than life itself.
NT: riding the atomic bomb
FUCKING BOMB CLAMP IS STUCK
TEX WILL FIX IT PRETTY QUICK
HOLD ON TO YOUR HAT
NT: SESAME BEEF.
God's face in the beef
Who stole the fucking cactus?
Commie pigs stole it.
NT: Mandibles
Hide under the bed
Cos Maria has mandibles
Or Fucking Kill Me.
NT: Cactus
I saw some cactus,
Tried to chew it to get zonked,
Fuck! Real cacti hurt!
NT: Rain gods
sky cotton spreads, shows
cloud deity dropping robe;
on us all, pissing
NT: cigarette butt
was this cigarette
the one that will infect me
with deadly cancer?
nt: pretending to be sad at the funeral of an asshole
Giggling at the corpse
Tim Russert we miss you so
Turn Wolf Blitzer on.
NT: Constipation
Boulders make their way
Colon suffers for your sins
Eat more fiber, douche.
NT: tomatoes
Quote from: Cainad on June 16, 2008, 05:40:39 AM
Boulders make their way
Colon suffers for your sins
Eat more fiber, douche.
NT: tomatoes
Sick from tomatoes?
I thought salmonella came
From like, eggs and shit
nt: imaginary numbers
Sesame Street was
Brought to you on this day by
the number, drexlar
nt: I've got drexlar puppies
Mathematician dogs?
Or some alien species?
The Wiki won't say.
NT: immigrant song.
Reached America!
Home of the free and the brave,
hiding in their caves.
NT: George Carlin
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, tits
cocksucker, and don't forget
a motherfucker.
NT: meta-haiku
You and me baby,
Ain't nothing but mammals, so
write me a haiku.
NT:funny hat day.
sunday best beanies
you forgot yours. luckily,
the pidgeons still fly.
bluetooth headsets.
edit: fixed for accuracy
In California,
driving without these can get,
you a big ticket.
NT: The Devil's Dictionary
semi-related, my favorite haiku:
I like bees they're so
yellow and black and yellow
and black and yellow.
Satirical book
By Ambrose Bierce, says Wiki.
I haven't read it.
NT: Rev Uncle BadTouch
Reverend Uncle BadTouch
Should mod the child boards
See what I did thar?
NT: sparknotes PD
An over quoted
Book about some long dead god.
A fan of potheads.
NT: The State of the Union address given by a Discordain.
Quagmire in Iraq
Next on the agenda, we
Invade Canada
NT: something unusual on your desk
Amongst the clutter
Both alone and surrounded
Lies my pink hair dye
NT: Engineering Majors
Chemicals use pumps
Mechanicals build stuff up
Civils all wankers
NT: Ice cream
Cold and oh-so sweet,
Lactose rich bovine fluids
frozen with sugar.
NT: The River Kwai
dink dink dink dink dink
is how it's sang in Spaceballs
dink dink dink dink dink
NT: Chuck Taylors
lacing up the shoes
getting ready for the pit
face full of elbow
nt: caught in a mosh
think before you speak
were you dropped as a baby?
I'm caught in a mosh
NT: lube
Use it, or loose it.
Abraisive genital loss
Really is sucky.
NT: Fine cheese
growing between legs
a fine cheese pungent and strong
a bath is called for
NT fine wine
Subtle at a sip,
From Grapes of Entitlement,
Harshly fills the palate.
NT: 100 year eggs
Grandma got pregnant
At age one hundred and one.
The baby fell out.
NT: Scrotal flux
It's back from the dead
save women and children first
haiku thread lives on
NT: Unnecessary bumps
I will kill Risus
bashing a blunt instrument
against his forehead
NT: FUCKING FUCK THE HAIKU GAME RIGHT UP IT'S ASS I WANT IT TO DIE DIE DIE, AND FOR IT'S ASHES TO BE BE SMEARED IN WITH THE DUST THAT COMES OUT OF MICHAEL DOUGLAS' COCK SO THAT NO ON WILL EVER BUMP IT AGAIN EVER AND PEOPLE WILL CRY AND SAY "WOW THE HAIKU GAME WAS GREAT!" AND I WILL LAUGH AND SAY I WILL STICK MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU WILL GET THAT LITTLE PEBBLE THATS STUCK IN THE TREAD WEDGED INTO YOUR THROAT AND YOU WILL DIE LIKE THIS THREAD SHOULD.
Sometimes I do things
if only just to spite you
ha ha ha ha ha
NT: if you are reading this, I may already be dead. Unless it was Payne that tried to kill me. He failed miserably.
LOL PAYNE HAETS HAIKU
ROFL ROFL ROFL LOL
LOL HAIKU LOL
NT: How Payne's shoe pebble corrected Michael Douglas' dust-emitting prostate and can cure yours too!
Quote from: Netaungrot on September 17, 2008, 02:56:16 AM
LOL PAYNE HAETS HAIKU
ROFL ROFL ROFL LOL
LOL HAIKU LOL
NT: How Payne's shoe pebble corrected Michael Douglas' dust-emitting prostate and can cure yours too!
:argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
:argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
:argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
NT: FUCK YOU ALL
Cowed and scolded
Poetry stands appalled
WTF
NT: horrible barness of the meat.
"Barness"?
(Clad in latex red,
She'll bind you in stall or loft.
Don't hit her broad side.)
Barness.
Well?
"Barness"?
A horse's dwelling,
Where mistress shoes her slaves
Sessile pony play
WELL?
"WELL"?
Little Timmy fell in one.
Detatched from earthly desire,
Lassie Buhhda sits.
(I fucked up spealling "Bareness", happy? :argh!:)
NT: Tao of Meh
i really don't care
didn't you hear what I said
why are you still here
NT: the Moose Whisperer
see those caribou?
they pale in comparison
so sayeth the moose
NT: What Bob Barr will be doing on election day.
drinking bottles dry
knowing he's not elected
Barr; name and nature
*shrugs* I'm not American, these politicks do not interest me.
NT: Anthropomorphic Refrigerators.
prank caller asked if
my frigidaire was running.
turns out that it was.
next topic:
lint
fuzzy little balls
always stuck in my pockets
gnomes must have done it
NT: Tom Petty
you don't know how it feels
you don't know how it feels
to be tom petty
NT: Berserker
BERSERKER
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MAKING FUCK
BERSERKERRRR
nt: crock pots
glass burns; crystal glows
smoke streams into a whore's mouth
missing some teeth
nt:
Barbasol
CROCK, MOTHERFUCKER!
(http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/3/31868/18_2008/crock.jpg)
nt?
slow cooking my meat
dripping in its own juices
it sounds like torture
NT: obsessive compulsive disorder
wash your hands wash your
hands wash your hands wash your hands
six times then hit post
NT: what a forum is like if you have no hands
FS?Gdlksdjlsbsdffgjh
hjcnmkxcbnxcbncvcvxkn
DFnjcxnjxjxk
nt:nmfgrlrp
dslhrnalkwiyhet
oiatbeoatimoba
cthulhufhtagn
NT: LMNO's evil twin 4567
Look at the evil
as 4567 8 9
bastard cannibal
nt: suspenders
Quote from: Cramulus on September 25, 2008, 07:27:33 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on September 25, 2008, 07:24:21 PM
Look at the evil
as 4567 89
bastard cannibal
:cramstipated:
You mean you didn't see that one coming?
I need to double my efforts.
They support the pance
Elastic bands with clips on
Makes one look spaggy
NT: BUMP
bumping the uglies
or did you intend to bump
this poetry thread
NT
:facepalm:
Quote from: F.M.E on December 14, 2008, 12:28:53 AM
bumping the uglies
or did you intend to bump
this poetry thread
NT
:facepalm:
Apply directly
To the forehead, with your palm
When a post is FAIL
NT: The Chinese Zodiac
Quote from: Ratatosk on December 14, 2008, 05:35:44 AM
Apply directly
To the forehead, with your palm
When a post is FAIL
NT: The Chinese Zodiac
:lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Ratatosk on December 14, 2008, 05:35:44 AM
Quote from: F.M.E on December 14, 2008, 12:28:53 AM
bumping the uglies
or did you intend to bump
this poetry thread
NT
:facepalm:
Apply directly
To the forehead, with your palm
When a post is FAIL
NT: The Chinese Zodiac
Horse, Dog or Dragon?
For the year of my own birth
I am dubbed a cock.
NT: Games you can play with only 1 hammer.
:hammer:
When MC Hammer
(in those big pants) Can't Touch This
Time to take a shot
NT: underused emoticons
:gheyforum: :aww: :gheyforum: :aww: :gheyforum:
:crackhead: :jebus: :cainftw: :ninja: :tao&evt: :golfclap: :fuckmittens:
They only want love.
NT: creative cop-outs
mittens is two syllables, just sayin :wink:
I would write haiku
But I cannot count seven
or even to five
NT: Throwing shoes at the President
That bastard George Bush.
He claims that we have no soul.
Well, I sure shoed him.
NT: What Maliki was thinking...
Too bad for Zaidi
Make him sit in jail barefoot
I'm keeping the shoes
NT: Why haiku thread will never die.
Five-seven-five is
a fairly simple structure.
Easy is fun! Duh.
NT: covered in snow
I shoveled again
But precipitation won
Where the fuck's my car?
NT: gift wrapping
Here is your present
Slim Shady and Fifty Cent
Happy Holidays!
NT: Caroling
Trudging through the snow.
What the fuck is a wassail?
We may never know
NT: Frostbite
The gun to his head
Jack's mouth went down on Frosty
For revenge, he bit.
NT: Rudolph's luminescent condition.
his scarlet nose shines
too brightly for my puppy
who is now blinded
:(
NT: Paris (the city, please)
About some people in my class whom I usually regard as sane and respectable human beings:
They thought she was weird.
So they threw a chair at her.
Then they laughed. The fuck?
the french surrender
Paris named for a coward
see a connection
NT new year
this is the new year
only on Gregorian
calendars--Greg what?
NT: cats with dreadlocks
I-tal tuna, son
And Catnip in Babylon
Cats get Irie mon
NT: scrotal flux
Indifferent Betty's
Strangly writhing sacks of fun
Could it be maggots?
(NT: Paedophilic Copraphagy)
Quote from: 3D3N on January 07, 2009, 04:46:28 PM
Indifferent Betty's
Strangly writhing sacks of fun
Could it be maggots?
(NT: Paedophilic Copraphagy)
Kids and a Sippy
seems to be worse, by far, than
Two Girls And One Cup
NT: Lewd Popsicles
Cold wet XXX
White Women, Huge Fudgesicles
See rocket pops blow.
NT: Tragic Muppet deaths
alas, poor beaker,
experiments with a bomb,
still on an arab.
NT: Victory over communism
Quote from: indifferent betty on January 08, 2009, 05:25:15 PMNT: Victory over communism
the cold war is over
we kicked your commie butts
three cheers for Reagan
NT: Scientology
Hubbard was so smart
It is all a giant scam
It should have been mine.
NT: alzheimers
Quote from: Lost Boy on February 10, 2009, 11:14:54 PM
Hubbard was so smart
It is all a giant scam
It should have been mine.
NT: alzheimers
I can't remember
That old fifth of November
Due to alzheimers
NT: Racism and its affect on how people vote and how they treat grocers of different races because of what they were taught when they were younger and what society has told them is acceptable. :lulz:
Quote from: Skieth on February 12, 2009, 12:42:46 AMNT: Racism and its affect on how people vote and how they treat grocers of different races because of what they were taught when they were younger and what society has told them is acceptable. :lulz:
Blacks vote Democrat
Bag those groceries, sambo
Just like Pappy said
NT: how Skieth tried to ruin this thread :p
Quote from: Pastor-Mullah Zappathruster on February 12, 2009, 01:24:32 AM
Quote from: Skieth on February 12, 2009, 12:42:46 AMNT: Racism and its affect on how people vote and how they treat grocers of different races because of what they were taught when they were younger and what society has told them is acceptable. :lulz:
Blacks vote Democrat
Bag those groceries, sambo
Just like Pappy said
NT: how Skieth tried to ruin this thread :p
:argh!: lol
I tried to kid around
But someone was lurking here
And they did foil me
NT: Chewing on WWJD bands. :mrgreen:
Quote from: Skieth on February 12, 2009, 01:35:35 AM
NT: Chewing on WWJD bands. :mrgreen:
what would jesus do
strung out after a crack binge
"feel......bad.....chewey.....good"
nt: dalai lama's proposed retirement package
get the fuck out of dodge
the chinese are on the way
reincarnation
NT: Banks begging on street corners
golden parachute
is not big enough for us
your tax dollar please
NT hope Obama style
195 pages of shitty haikus? What the hell is wrong with you people? Words fail me. I hate you all.
penis, penis, cunt
penis, penis, penis, cunt
penis, vagina
I guess it's my job
To create the next haiku
I hate everyone.
NT: why the apple company sucks.
iHate MacIntosh
iThink Marketing is lame
iWish they'd beat Gates
iNT: Dungeons and Dragons 4th Ed.
Wizards of the Coast
Money Grubbing corporate jerks
They rip the nerds off
NT: Opening stanza of haiku must be "Man From Nantucket"
Man From Nantucket
thought he was a girl so he
did try to tuck it
nt finish limerick in haiku form
I hope you all die of cerebral palsy.
SOMEHOW.
I hope you die too
I won't stop this is too fun
Ha ha ha oh yeah
NT: important things
dimitri martin
has a television show
five more syllables
NT: the other anonymous has returned -- HOORAY!
Who is that person?
Don't know, but I guess it's good
Hooray for something...
NT: 90s revisited
Black light sensitive
Ink, green and purple outfits,
Go die at a rave.
NT: smegmatic oral sex
my girlfriend asked for
some smegmatic oral sex
i forgot the smeg
nt: we missed the haikus
Without auspices
Of the five seven five poem
We'll do something else.
NT: The Urkrain
the perineum
smooth as a silk no-man's land
ruptured easily
NT: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/devival2009
there is no party
(--like this one?) No party at all.
there is no password
NT: memebombs
black sheep are still sheep
did this make you think at all?
well did it chucky????
NT: If Chucky (from Child's Play) was a character on Sesame Street
Big Bird ran screaming
Trying to find an adult.
"Stop Pretending, Bird."
NT: rescheduled meetings
This isn't haiku.
You silly fuckers need some
season imagery.
Quote from: Richter on September 22, 2009, 02:11:13 PM
NT: rescheduled meetings
The board room was full,
but we'd have to reschedule.
Blood was everywhere.
NT: Shock porn in the year 2100
"Hot, nasty perverts:
Missionary position
And gentle kissing!"
NT: What might have been.
Quote from: Brotep on September 22, 2009, 02:13:49 PM
This isn't haiku.
You silly fuckers need some
season imagery.
fuck you fuck you fuck
you fuck you fuck you fuck you
fuck you fuck you snow
Quote from: Triple Zero on September 22, 2009, 04:18:42 PM
Quote from: Brotep on September 22, 2009, 02:13:49 PM
This isn't haiku.
You silly fuckers need some
season imagery.
fuck you fuck you fuck
you fuck you fuck you fuck you
fuck you fuck you snow
:lulz:
Well played, 3Z, but
still you have not grasped haiku.
Best two out of three?
~
Your spaggotry, sir,
is like the fallen leaves that
snow shall soon cover
Quote from: LMNO on September 22, 2009, 02:33:14 PM
"Hot, nasty perverts:
Missionary position
And gentle kissing!"
NT: What might have been.
The game was started
Linking haikus was the goal
Brotep fucked it up
NT: Tom Delay
Quote from: Brotep on September 22, 2009, 04:27:31 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on September 22, 2009, 04:18:42 PM
Quote from: Brotep on September 22, 2009, 02:13:49 PM
This isn't haiku.
You silly fuckers need some
season imagery.
fuck you fuck you fuck
you fuck you fuck you fuck you
fuck you fuck you snow
:lulz:
Well played, 3Z, but
still you have not grasped haiku.
Best two out of three?
~
Your spaggotry, sir,
is like the fallen leaves that
snow shall soon cover
spiced up seasoning,
bite my dust at two hundred
haiku per second (http://elvicities.com/~ananames/haiku/overload.html)
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on September 22, 2009, 04:31:50 PM
Quote from: LMNO on September 22, 2009, 02:33:14 PM
"Hot, nasty perverts:
Missionary position
And gentle kissing!"
NT: What might have been.
The game was started
Linking haikus was the goal
Brotep fucked it up
NT: Tom Delay
He was in the House
And i had to memorize
his name in high school.
NT: the equinox
we'd be "equinox".
four synths. spandex. one guitar.
lights, camera, noseflute
NT: equinox world tour
(http://www.nostalgiaholic.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/hairmetal.jpg)
epileptic fans
the crowd convulses and foams
strobe epidemic
NT: How Haiku will save the world
Apocalypse now
Armageddon fights and dies
Poetry heals us.
NT: The Upanishads
A mouth excretion
Spouting drivel and drivel.
Tat Tvam Asi
NT: Ducks
they must be flying
south right about now, as it
will soon be winter.
NT: Jimi Hendrix
Guitar god always
Purple haze all through his brain
Burned guitar too quick
NT: Olives
topping a pizza
or garnishing martinis
pimiento's best friend
NT: internationalization
international-
ization: good for business
bad for unions
NT: My cat is hungry
Four Thirty A.M.
Meow on my chest tail flick
GO BACK TO SLEEP, BITCH!
NT: wikipedia
wikipedia--
often accurate, but please:
check the references.
NT: chocolate
oh, the scotcharoos!
i wonder how many chips
of chocolate were used.
NT: the Beatles
YOU ARE ALL RUIN
FORUM WITH SILLY NONSENSE!
JOHN LENON DEAD
NEXT TOPIC: CHOKING OF THE HAZARDOUS VARIETY
HeimlichHeimlichHeim
lichHeimlichHeimlichHeimlich
MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! Ah-
HeimlichHeimlichHeim
lichHeimlichHeimlichHeimlich
MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! Ah-
HeimlichHeimlichHeim
lichHeimlichHeimlichHeimlich
SNAKE! SNAKE! OH ITSA SNAKE!
NT: Memebombs versus Haikus
Memebombs are nice,
But Haiku people eat rice,
I miss my Asians.
Next Topic: Naked Mole Rats
I haven't seen those
since elementary school
at the city zoo.
NT: Windows
LOL WINDOWS NT
LA LALA WINDOWS NT
WINDOWS NT. Snow.
NT: how to kill this thread
Killing this long game:
Publish this new haiku now,
Without next topic.
phoenix from the ash
the old haiku born anew
nice try though assholes
NT: fish clocks
Quote from: Hoopla on December 04, 2009, 04:01:06 AM
phoenix from the ash
the old haiku born anew
nice try though assholes
:lulz: :lulz:
BAAAAAAAAAAAASTAAAAAAARRRDS
Damn you all.
hanging on the wall
baiting, ticking, and hooking
scales, tails, and whales
NT: Male Continence
Quote from: Regret on January 03, 2010, 02:08:52 PM
Quote from: Felix on January 03, 2010, 10:04:26 AM
Bastards!
Damn you all.
Die now.
fixd
That's not a haiku
Weapons of the enemy
Turn you into them
Next topic: No.
No means no, you twat
No no no no no no no
I said NO, fuckhead!
NT: nerds
Nerd just means someone
to whom nobody listens,
or tasty candy.
NT: snow cones
When I go to the
Theme park, I like to piss in
All the snowcone stands.
NT: watermelon
when i feel horny
sometimes it feels like my balls
are watermelons
NT: limericks
There once was a man
Whos name was Fat Dong Hung Lo
Master of his staff
NT: Hangovers
I have a headache.
I don't know exactly what
that is in my puke.
NT:the atom bomb
Louis Prima? Smooth.
Pass the shrimp cocktail, Frankie.
And some sunglasses.
Next up: Chubby Batman
If you people keep this up I will shiv a motherfucker in the urethra.
Batman is so fat
that he broke the Batmobile.
Penguin looks thin now.
NT: Alan Rickman
He is Severus
Snape. Alan Rickman, that is.
He speaks nasally.
NT: fried chicken
With oiled up feathers,
this most unlucky fried bird,
died, in boiling grease.
next subject, Vinnie Jones' Diary
Bullet tooth Tony,
How green is my valley now?
Must remember to, . . . . . .
Next subject, Star Trek, (DS9)
Wormhole Soothsayer,
Emissary Cisko weeps,
High on apple juice.
Next, TNG.
"Earl Grey, hot." Captain
Picard uses the thing that
replicates the tea.
Next: oak tree(s)
Mossy barked quercine,
I will not climb your branches,
I might crack my head.
Next, Judge Dredd
I AM THE LAW, Punk!
Thus spake the Judge as he aimed,
fired, and killed my cat.
NT: The Flintstones.
it's historically
inaccurate to quote Fred:
"yabba-dabba-doo"
NT: Stephen King
Churning out his wares,
Screenplays, disguised as novels,
same tale, every time.
crohns disease
damn watery shit
blood may also be passing
your bowels removed
NT: breakfast cereal
Grape Nuts on your chin
Holy shit, fiber, fiber
Mix it in yogurt.
NT: the cancer that is killing pd.com
Mutation of cells,
Is not always a bad thing.
Misdiagnosis.
Technics 1210 record decks.
I take your topic
and substitute it for my
superior one
NT: Alcoholism
Ten shots of whiskey
A bottle of finest wine
I'd rather be stoned.
NT: Penguins
Little Bibbed Waiters,
Running rings around Batman,
Something smells fishy.
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/GIFS/Penguin_tripping_thumb.gif)
NT Teletubbies
Tinky-Winky! Po!
Gay boy, communist...and where
are the other two?
NT: prejudice against werewolves
Listen up, assholes:
just cuz I'm hairy doesn't
mean I'm a furry.
NT: forbidden love
This forbidden love,
that dares not whinney it's name,
Equus, they whisper.
Crazy inventions
The thing that Dok built,
single horse powered dildo
dog, Bobitted it.
Zombies
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 01:44:07 PM
The thing that Dok built,
single horse powered dildo
dog, Bobitted it.
Zombies
Must be a headshot
Anything less won't do it
Fuck, I just got bit
Next topic: having to go through the dirty laundry for today's clothes
It's not chocolate,
it's all I have to put on,
Thank God for febreeze!
NT
Glugging down a big gobful of rancid milk.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 07:27:56 PM
It's not chocolate,
it's all I have to put on,
Thank God for febreeze!
NT
Glugging down a big gobful of rancid milk.
3 AM, thirsty
Grab the milk carton from fridge
BLUUGHHKHH!!!, it's 2 months old!
NT:
Ok, cool. Out of cigarettes when all the stores are closed and no one is around, but you have the remainder of the last pack in the ashtray
Christ, I need a fag!
where have my papers got to?
Dog ends, here I come!
NT
the desperately drunk chick you shagged a couple of weeks ago is at your door.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 07:48:10 PM
Christ, I need a fag!
where have my papers got to?
Dog ends, here I come!
NT
the desperately drunk chick you shagged a couple of weeks ago is at your door.
Picked up at the bar
She's back here three weeks later
Always use condoms
(I just realized the first letters of each line spell PSA :lol:)
NT:
Arrested for disturbing the peace
Under arrest? why?
Get your hands off me, you Pigs!
Bastards! I can't see!
Regaining consciousness, hung over, in a "Custody Suite".
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 08:10:36 PM
Under arrest? why?
Get your hands off me, you Pigs!
Bastards! I can't see!
Regaining consciousness, hung over, in a "Custody Suite".
Skull fucking throbbing
Open eyes, in the drunk tank
No more tequila....
NT:
Neighbors are having very loud and vigorous sex
Neighbours are shagging!
She sounds like a skewered pig.
That would put me off!
NT Waiting at the surgery, for the test results of that "burning rash" you have all over your genitals.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 09:04:39 PM
Neighbours are shagging!
She sounds like a skewered pig.
That would put me off!
NT Waiting at the surgery, for the test results of that "burning rash" you have all over your genitals.
Rash on my penis
Hope it's not an STD
Results: too much wank
NT Ran up a big tab at the pub that you don't have enough on your credit card for
Sorry Mate, cant pay.
I'll be in tomorrow though.
settle up then, yeah?
NT. The 5 second walk, to the pub door.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 09:22:59 PM
Sorry Mate, cant pay.
I'll be in tomorrow though.
settle up then, yeah?
NT. The 5 second walk, to the pub door.
:mittens:
Oh, man, I'll have to think for that one
Slide off of my stool
Confidence, gonna make it
Bouncer's in my way...
NT Power outage when you're just about to beat your high score
Shit! MotherFUCKER!
It always happens to ME!
Just at the wrong time!
looking up from your mobile phone, at the whole congregation, who are staring at you
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 09:45:02 PM
Shit! MotherFUCKER!
It always happens to ME!
Just at the wrong time!
looking up from your mobile phone, at the whole congregation, who are staring at you
Ok, this one's going to be a bit Boston.
WOOOO!!! Fuckin' homah!
Sox beat Yanks eight tah foah, kid
...Shit, sorry Fathah
NT:HAving to take a piss really bad, but no public bathrooms anywhere in sight. It's also daytime and busy.
I'm like Superman,
look around for a phone booth,
there, in quick, and, . . . . . . aaaaahh,
Waking up, after a night on the lash, to find a huge, life size tattoo of Justin Bieber right across your back.
just another night
forgot my safety buddy
teen bopper on ass
butterscotch pudding and acid reflux
Ulcerating pain!
It tastes all "butterscotchy"
I hate butterscotch!
NT, Roadkill.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 07, 2010, 08:35:05 PM
Ulcerating pain!
It tastes all "butterscotchy"
I hate butterscotch!
NT, Roadkill.
Driving through the sticks
Pass by some could-be possum
Stopping. Thems good eats.
NT: Wake up in a haze with the person you were talking to at the bar on the phone and you're bound and gagged in the bathroom
How did this happen?
Shit! Roofies, and Viagra!
Facepalm, not again!
NT, How to approach a schoolkid, in the bathroom, and ask for a clean urine sample, without alarming him.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 07, 2010, 09:19:07 PM
How did this happen?
Shit! Roofies, and Viagra!
Facepalm, not again!
NT, How to approach a schoolkid, in the bathroom, and ask for a clean urine sample, without alarming him.
Hello there boy, the
Water's contaminated
Doing tests. Fill cup.
NT- Being that schoolkid
who's this creepy cunt?
better do just what he says!
He's taking the piss!
NT Elton John's head roady, on finding him expired in an act of auto asphixiation, in his dressing room.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 04:27:07 AM
who's this creepy cunt?
better do just what he says!
He's taking the piss!
NT Elton John's head roady, on finding him expired in an act of auto asphixiation, in his dressing room.
Oh dear, Elton's dead
Choked himself good both ways now
Fans gonna be pissed
NT- Chatting someone up and realizing that your fly is down. They haven't noticed yet, but might any moment now.
Should i get it out?
or wait for her to do it?
(She will be surprised)
NT, Finding out your best friend of 15 years has teh ghey for you
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 05:05:21 AM
Should i get it out?
or wait for her to do it?
(She will be surprised)
NT, Finding out your best friend of 15 years has teh ghey for you
Whoa, dude, known you're gay
For long time now, but I'm not.
But twin brother is.
NT- Finding out your wife has teh ghey for your mom
What would Daddy say?
I knew my wife swung both ways,
How could you Mummy!
NT, Dads reaction, on finding them together
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 05:20:08 AM
What would Daddy say?
I knew my wife swung both ways,
How could you Mummy!
NT, Dads reaction, on finding them together
Whoa, that's fucking hot.
Hey, can I jump on in there?
Sorry, son. Threesome.
NT- You're waiting at the bus stop with some guy who's having a convo with Jesus. Whether Jesus is actually there or not is optional.
What's that awful stink?
it's that stupid hippy, there!
listening to that guy!
NT, Lois Griffins milfiness
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 06:05:06 AM
What's that awful stink?
it's that stupid hippy, there!
listening to that guy!
NT, Lois Griffins milfiness
That figure, red hair
Big round eyes. I want her but
She's just a cartoon.
NT- You got a porno from the sex store, but when you watch it, you see things that you didn't expect, and can't unsee.
Seared in my brain now!
Hunger makes whores of us all,
but why, Mummy? Why?
NT, Bill Shatner's staggering acting talent.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 02:13:49 PM
Seared in my brain now!
Hunger makes whores of us all,
but why, Mummy? Why?
NT, Bill Shatner's staggering acting talent.
This... acting is... BAD...
So... many pauses, Captain....
Just... give the... order!
NT- fucking with the bill collectors
He used to live here,
but I've not seen him for weeks,
He's probly locked up
Having to sit in a Taxi, for half an hour, with a nervous baboon.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 09, 2010, 12:15:51 AM
He used to live here,
but I've not seen him for weeks,
He's probly locked up
Having to sit in a Taxi, for half an hour, with a nervous baboon.
Dude chill the fuck out
This is why you drink beer, not
Not pop a bunch of pills
NT- vomitting something so vile and weird in consistency, you have to go through what you ate for the last 24 hours to figure out what did it.
what the fuck is that?
I never ate a Baby!
Is it still moving?
NT, Steven Seagal, getting caught with a load of photoshopped loli porn on his laptop.
AT LEAST STEVE SEAGAL
DIDN'T SPAM THESE GAMING THREADS
LIKE YOU TWO SPAGS ARE
NT - anyone but BadBeast and Twiddleton in their pages long alternating posts floating from one game thread to the next
Badbeast, Twiddleton:
Quit pissing on the shitpile.
PD.com weeps.
NT - how to polish a turd like a pro.
Shiny little turd,
sparkling in the sunlight,
you scrubbed up quite well.
A broken top E string.
Quote from: BadBeast on July 15, 2010, 01:07:35 PM
Shiny little turd,
sparkling in the sunlight,
you scrubbed up quite well.
A broken top E string.
Tuning up guitar
Pop! What the fuck dude? No jam.
I'm down to five strings.
Roommate came home late with a chick, who is not interested in anything but the friend zone.
Fool, doesn't he see?
she's not intrested in him,
it's me that she wants.
NT, A dead rat, floating in your fishpond.
It seems the cat has
struck again. The fish do not
like the taste of rat.
NT: angry, jealous moocow
My Bully's gone off
with some old Jersey trollup
Bastard. He'll be back.
NT. Bottle green gym knickers
Quote from: BadBeast on August 16, 2010, 12:48:50 AM
My Bully's gone off
with some old Jersey trollup
Bastard. He'll be back.
NT. Bottle green gym knickers
Fuck me, no clean clothes!
What have I got here, green trunks?
... Casual Friday!
NT. Locked yourself out on a third storey porch, when you were out for a smoke. No one else is home.
Oh give me a break.
Fucking sneaky droplatch door!
All this, for a smoke.
NT. Finding out what you had thought was prostate cancer, for 3 long weeks,
is in fact just anal fissures.
Thank God it's not cancer
Ironic, worked for doctors
But this still sucks balls
(I actually was working for Prostate Cancer researchers, which made this kinda fun).
NT: Your friend takes you to a niche bar without telling you what the niche was.
Out to a Bar? Yeah
Course I know what a niche is.
(What the fuck's a niche?)
NT She feels ashamed, but you think it was really hot!
Quote from: BadBeast on August 16, 2010, 04:46:17 AM
Out to a Bar? Yeah
Course I know what a niche is.
(What the fuck's a niche?)
NT She feels ashamed, but you think it was really hot!
What's the matter love?
Don't feel dirty, that was cool!
I appreciate!
NT: You wake up in the middle of the night, and have to fight the conflicting urges of agonizing hunger and unwillingness to get up.
I'm starving to death.
The kitchen is miles away.
Too weak to eat, *snore*
NT Eggs and Bacon.
Quote from: BadBeast on August 16, 2010, 05:04:42 AM
I'm starving to death.
The kitchen is miles away.
Too weak to eat, *snore*
NT Eggs and Bacon.
Irish/English bacon, American bacon or Canadian bacon? These details are important.
Danish
Quote from: BadBeast on August 16, 2010, 05:08:07 AM
Danish
Ok, then I'll assume you mean rashers, you spag.
Yes! Rashers and eggs!
Oi! No bangers? No puddings?
What breakfast is this?!?!?!
NT: Alarm didn't go off, and the meeting at work you were supposed to be at started 20 minutes ago.
If I go in now,
They'll think I'm incompetent
I'll go tomorrow.
NT. Speculation on who's going to jump in and tell us to stfu this time.
Quote from: BadBeast on August 16, 2010, 05:27:56 AM
If I go in now,
They'll think I'm incompetent
I'll go tomorrow.
NT. Speculation on who's going to jump in and tell us to stfu this time.
Eater of Clowns? Net?
Surely not Suu, Dok or Hawk.
Oh shit, it was Cram!
NT: Finding a floater in your toilet. It's not yours. You live alone.
Who pooped in my loo?
Maybe someone snuck in thru
the open window....
NT: being frozen in carbonite
This thread has been a toolbox for too long. To maintain the high quality standards of Discordian poetry, in keeping with the traditional requirements for Haiku, the following requirements are now in place on all Haikus posted in this thread.
The 5-7-5 syllable structure is oversimplistic. Haikus shall consist of 17 mora, which may or may not amount to 17 syllables.
Haikus shall include a seasonal reference and a kireji, or "cutting word," for which there is no equivalent in English.
All Haiku poets shall wear traditional Geisha costumes while posting in this thread.
Way to suck all the fun out of a thread,
I'm gonna post a vulgar Sailors poem instead.
Becalmed upon the glassy sea,
no wind upon our sail,
we pulled the First Mates trousers down,
and drank his 'Sailors Ale'
Quote from: dontblameyoko on August 16, 2010, 08:41:34 PM
NT: being frozen in carbonite
Is it cold in here
Or is it just family?
Call it a landslide...
NT: No escape from reality
Open up your eyes,
look up to the skies, and seeee,
(I'm just a poor boy)
The ghost of Freddy's reaction to my extra word in his song.
I don't care. i am
dead. but for what it is worth,
it does make sense there.
NT: renaissance fair(e)
Small consolation for you. We'll be rid of you before you will.
Not haiku format;
please try again, but this time
in a haiku form.
;)
i see you drivin'
round town with the girl i love
and i'm like, fuck you!
NT: Ooh ooh oooooh!
Ooh ooh oooh, you mock.
Simulate a 'tearful wank'
I hate you so much!
NT. What would Scooby do?
Quote from: BadBeast on February 09, 2011, 01:39:51 AM
Ooh ooh oooh, you mock.
Simulate a 'tearful wank'
I hate you so much!
NT. What would Scooby do?
Re would eat Scooby
Snacks rith his good friend Raggy
Zoinks says the stoner
NT. It was freezing when you left for work, now, it's summer like conditions at lunch time.
Minus twelve at dawn,
after a morning's hard graft,
ninety in the shade!
NT, Coyote's career in Counter intel.
Quote from: BadBeast on February 09, 2011, 07:16:05 AM
Minus twelve at dawn,
after a morning's hard graft,
ninety in the shade!
NT, Coyote's career in Counter intel.
In velvet red sheets
She met with the handsome man
and made a new Bond
great, but what's the NT?
Quote from: dontblameyoko on May 11, 2011, 12:43:03 AM
great, but what's the NT?
Yoko.
Beatles always sucked
I blame Yoko totally
Ha ha ha ha ha
New topic. Mysticwicks.
Quote from: Doktor Blight on May 11, 2011, 03:15:36 AM
New topic. Mysticwicks.
Stark delusions run,
Shrieking through the minds of
People never thinking
NT: Idiots.
There sure are dummies
commenting in the "2 cents
worth" in the paper.
NT: windchimes
I hate haiku
What is the appeal of poetry with enforced syllable quotas?
I wish this thread a painful death
me too me too me
too me too me too me too
me too summer rain
Personally, I
like the mental contortions
agile as spring hare.
Between this one and
Questions only I yearn for
Open Bar's content
People are no fun
Shitting hate on others fun
Kiss my rosy ass
:wink:
we saw this coming
when we left open the door
the draft, so chilly
It's been way too long
Since this thread was on Page One
Bump, motherfucker.
Please put on some pants
before someone asks us to
leave the museum.
AIDS. Cancer. Small pox.
Diabetics. Kidney stones.
And things like this thread.
Whiskers grows mournful.
Fluffy is sorry to hear...
Burns grabs a Q-tip.
NT: Tumblr Justice
Justice lives not here
Verdicts bled from Juries?
Judge me not, Judy.
NT. The death of Bono
Ask me to enter,
Oh but then you make me crawl.
A beautiful day.
NT: Hamas
delicious chickpeas
lay you on my party tra-
oops wrong thing, sorry
next topic: Polyamory
We lovers, us three,
Were then, are now, will next, be,
More, in sum, than three.
Next topic: graffiti.