Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 26, 2006, 12:57:38 AM

Title: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 26, 2006, 12:57:38 AM
The Good Reverend Roger has the floor...

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, and no, I will not yield the balance of my time...because I've had it up to HERE with the primates that are trying to drag us down! 

You know who I'm talking about...That jackass that parked you in so close that you needed a Goddamn can opener to get into your car...that syrupy-voiced moron that does the Lexus "pre-owned" commercials...that shrew-faced jackal at the DMV...Yeah, you know.

Whether it's the police, or some faceless "government" non-entity, or just  your homeowners' association rules Nazi, they really are out to get you...even if they have no idea who you are.  It's not personal, after all (you must try to remember this, even if they have your name tattooed on their foreheads), it's just that they can't tolerate anyone who dares to stand on their hind legs.  You don't fit.  You make waves.  You're a pain in the ass, and they're going to punish you for it.

Maybe you're willing to put up with it, but The Good Reverend's mama taught him that when the rock hits you, you holler. You get mad.  In fact, to quote Howard Beale, you get mad as hell and you don't take it anymore!

So The Good Reverend Roger is moving from "jaking" the jerks to punishing them right back.

Now, some of the bleeding-heart, mamby-pamby, so-called "Discordians" will rush to point out that this is badwrong, and will advise us to "instruct" the Grays (usually with some lame shit like street theater or pope cards or even that stupid Goddamn "Turkey Curse"), or whimper about how punishing is what the GRAYS do...and my response is "WHY?"  Why should  the Grays have a monopoly on that sort of thing?  Hell, no...give them a taste of their own medicine. 

That's right...every Subgenius a Torquemada, and every Discordian a J Edgar Hoover (cross-dressing is, of course, optional).  I can't speak for you, but *I* say it's high time we took this planet back from the trogdolytes.

Now, what I am NOT proposing is some retarded armed insurrection.  Hell, if we know one thing about the con, we know that it is the master of applied violence.  No, we're going to have to be sneakier than that.  Now, as to what kind of sneaky, well...that's up to you.  You could turn into  walking glitch, leaving a wake of inoperable machinery, telephones, and toilets in your wake.  Or maybe you're more of a humanist, and you'd feel more comfortable bolluxing up peoples' paperwork left and right.  Or maybe you just get a kick out of poking control freaks until the blow a gasket (try, for example, going to the DMV and killing a day by intentionally screwing up your paperwork over and over again. It's more fun than it sounds...their little heads spin round and round...). 

Whatever it is, it's time to do it NOW.  Not next week, or next month, or "someday".  NOW, while there's still time, before The Machine brings the curtain down on fun, forever...for are we not "Bob's" Million-Ton Shit Hammer?  IS IT NOT TIME TO SMITE THE HEATHENS?  IS IT NOT TIME TO KICK THE CRUTCHES OUT FROM UNDER THE CRIPPLE THAT WE CALL "SOCIETY"?

AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Or kill me.

Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: X the Obscure on September 26, 2006, 02:19:45 AM
zzz..... (wakes up)

Why would I want to be J. Edgar Hoover anyway?
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 26, 2006, 02:41:54 AM
Quote from: X the Obscure on September 26, 2006, 02:19:45 AM
zzz..... (wakes up)

Why would I want to be J. Edgar Hoover anyway?

1.  Never mind.  Go back to jabbering about hot dogs.

2.  See #1.
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: LHX on September 29, 2006, 03:22:58 AM
Quote from: X the Obscure on September 26, 2006, 02:19:45 AM
zzz..... (wakes up)

Why would I want to be J. Edgar Hoover anyway?

you should pick a letter other than X
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: LHX on September 30, 2006, 03:39:29 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on September 26, 2006, 12:57:38 AMYou could turn into a walking glitch

thats the jewel right there
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: Izarre on October 12, 2006, 09:41:43 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on September 26, 2006, 12:57:38 AM

Now, what I am NOT proposing is some retarded armed insurrection. 


Can we have one anyway?
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 12, 2006, 01:04:58 PM
you can try...just remember, they've got more guns and bigger bombs than you do. trying to beat the State in a contest of violence is sort of like trying to beat Rain Man in a card-counting contest.
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: Cain on October 12, 2006, 01:26:32 PM
Plus it will be used to justify a greater crackdown, which is counterproductive to say the least.
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: Jasper on October 12, 2006, 04:36:19 PM
More likely than that is that you'd give them a reason to curb-stomp everything we stand for.
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 13, 2006, 01:32:32 AM
Quote from: Izarre on October 12, 2006, 09:41:43 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on September 26, 2006, 12:57:38 AM

Now, what I am NOT proposing is some retarded armed insurrection. 


Can we have one anyway?


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
\
(http://www.flexi.net.au/~dmulliss/saddam/saddam1.jpg)
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: faust on October 13, 2006, 11:11:21 AM
you dont have to be armed to burn down a tax office.
And some of us though ruining peoples paperwork, ruining phones, or having a running commentry on whats on the screen in the cinema do it for the sake of trolling, nothing more complex then that. my mates arent discordians and have never thought about anything beyond themselves but they are the epitome of walking glitches.

some of them are just jerks.

edit for typo  :oops:
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: Cain on October 13, 2006, 11:36:45 AM
Quote from: faust on October 13, 2006, 11:11:21 AM
some of them us just jerks.

Aint that the truth....
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on May 20, 2011, 03:35:17 PM
Bump

....because with the Rapture coming this weekend and all....  good advice for the takeover.
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 20, 2011, 03:37:52 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 20, 2011, 03:35:17 PM
Bump

....because with the Rapture coming this weekend and all....  good advice for the takeover.

Are YOU ready for post-rapture looting?
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on May 20, 2011, 03:45:37 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 20, 2011, 03:37:52 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 20, 2011, 03:35:17 PM
Bump

....because with the Rapture coming this weekend and all....  good advice for the takeover.

Are YOU ready for post-rapture looting?

:wink:

Actually yes, yes I am. 
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: Kai on May 20, 2011, 03:51:10 PM
I heard a rant not too long ago that reminds me of yours:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mt8I6cvFsM

Transcript:

Alright, I've been thinking.

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons BACK! Get MAD! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons.

Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Title: Re: Rev Roger, Sermon #42: Get MAD.
Post by: Don Coyote on May 20, 2011, 04:39:02 PM
I started thinking about Roger while playing that part of the game.