(Draft) Expunging Terrorism (Draft)
A multi-phase plan to remove terrorism:
Phase I (containment)
Step 1: Remove the word ,Äòterrorism,Äô from every book and information storage device and either substitute it with an emoticon, , or some similar glyph. (I recommend introduction of a UN resolution to accomplish this, of course, with full US backing.)
Step 2: No one may use the word in public or private or in any way transmit ,Äòthat word.,Äô To use the word or transmit it willingly or otherwise would be tantamount to a crime against humanity.
Step 3: Any legally recognized entity found spreading the verboten word will immediately have its assets frozen and would be, minimally, subject to dissolution and severe fiscal punishment.
Step 4: Any quasi-government, state or religious organization found harboring those who use the word will be considered just as guilty as those using the word. We will not recognize those entities, that enable or create safe havens for ,Äòthe word,Äô and will collectively punish them. (This is a war that can destroy the very firmament of civilization and we cannot take that sort of risk.)
Phase II (education)
Step 1: A special conclave of multi-lingual, multi-national, multi-religious, multi-governmental group will convene to help educate the non use of ,Äòthat word. To appeal to the younger set, this group will be known as the Multivitamins.
Step 2: The USA will lead a ,ÄòPamphlets Project,Äô, headed by a new education czar, located in Pueblo Colorado, where there is a long history of pamphleteering.
Step 3: Community leaders will create awareness and watch groups which will tie into the school systems and other local community groups. Grass root organizations will be encouraged and a sister city project against the evil word can be erected to help foster trans-national awareness.
Step 4: Hollywood and Madison Avenue will be asked to do their part as it is their fiduciary responsibility as valued stake holders. It is their patriotic duty, can they do any less?!
Step 5: A word-bond drive, scrap iron and rubber and paper collection will involve all levels of the community. The Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts and various other secular and non-secular organizations will be asked to do what they can to help contribute to the non-use of ,Äòthat word.,Äô
Phase III (the act)
Note: Heretofore we have been focusing, and rightly so, on the ,Äòword,,Äô now we must turn our attention to and set about the difficult and very dangerous task of eliminating those who enact the word. For security purposes, many details have been omitted. We wouldn,Äôt want to hand over our game plan to our enemies, now would we? They can be very rascally.
Step 1: Find them.
Step 2: Remove them from circulation.
Step 3: Re-educate them.
Step 4: Welcome them back with open arms.
Step 5: Rinse and repeat.
Ladies and Gentlemen ,Äì this is the only plan that will work and it will only work with all of our combined efforts ,Äì this plan can take generations to implement successfully and we are in it for the long haul ,Äì we mustn,Äôt let our guards down as the enemy never sleeps.
(Draft ,Äì please note that this document is subject to change ,Äì Draft)
One glaring flaw in your plan: How can you tell someone not to think about a word if you're not allowed to use that word. They tried to do the same thing with the word 'Fuck' and it came off sounding just as dumb.
Glaring Flaw no.2: You imply that I'd have to stop describing myself as a 'Paradigm Terrorist' and that's something I'm highly unlikely to do. Given that you have no available means of accusing me of this, short of using the word 'terrorist' and, thereby, committing a violation of you own unnacceptable use policy, I don't see what you could do to stop me short of just killing me.
Fact: Doing this would really screw with my Masters.
I really need those 30 credits for International Terrorism.
My Nostrum is flawed - won't someone help?!
Does it make you feel any better that there is no academic consenous of what terrorism means and so the word, beyond its derogatory connotations is essentially meaningless?
Quote from: Cain on October 22, 2006, 01:55:37 PM
Fact: Doing this would really screw with my Masters.
I really need those 30 credits for International Terrorism.
You only get 30 credits for International Terrorism?? Dude you're working too hard. Join Alquaeida they give you much more credits for the same thing.
funny. that's what I kept telling him.
until my pets started mysteriously dying. then I left him alone.
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on October 22, 2006, 03:22:59 PM
funny. that's what I kept telling him.
until my pets started mysteriously dying. then I left him alone.
Did the pets stop mysteriously dying? I had a dog that used to mysteriously die all the time, then come back to life before I'd noticed. This used to fuck with my head until I stopped worrying so much about it. Alchohol helps.
(http://images.43things.com/place/00/10/3c/1064028lr.jpg)
"last at free! last at free!..."
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/liberty-positive-negative/