After all the ranting I have done about The Conspiracy,Ñ¢ and The Machine,Ñ¢, it occurs to me that I might have forgotten to mention one critical thing:¬† They fear us.¬† Yep.¬† We scare them silly.¬† Not because we're physically intimidating, or because we're armed (even though both are true of some Discordians, and some are even worse)...but because we're unpredictable.¬†
There's really no way to know ahead of time how a Discordian is going to react to bullshit.  We might lash out in spectacular vengeance, or we might chuckle and shake our heads.  We might jump up and down, hooting like monkeys, or we might take the offending thing and "improve" it.  Or worse, we might just ignore it (granted, this is rare), or simply laugh our asses off.
The second reason they fear us is that - because we ourselves are such great bullshit artists - we are damn near impossible to fool.¬† Dress a greyface up as a Pagan, and we'll sniff him out.¬† Dress a drone up as a "liberal" or a "conservative"?¬† We aren't impressed.¬† Because we understand.¬† We've seen what Robert Tilton saw, just before he went mad and ran naked down the street, screaming that rats were eating his brains.¬† We know the face of degeneracy.¬† So you can understand that we aren't terribly impressed by the shit that They,Ñ¢ use to fool the rubes.
The third - and main - reason that they fear us is that, deep down inside, they know that we are laughing at them.  We are laughing at their cars, their McMansions, their "fashionable" clothes.  We are laughing at their silly beliefs,  their ridiculous, contrived religions (whether they worship Baby Jesus, or some stupid fucking "neo-Pagan" bullshit).  For we know that worship is for monkeys, and superior mutants need not the fear of the Gods.  We have no Gods but Eris, and no salesmen but "Bob", who is her prophet (or profit, as the case may be).  And believe you me, our made up entities can kick their made up entities' asses any day of the week.
We laugh at their schedules, their meetings, their Feng Shui.  We laugh at their makeup, their silly belief in a "government", their insipid, white bread lifestyles.  But mostly, we laugh at their FEAR.
Yes, we laugh at their Fear.¬† Their weak-kneed, pance-poomping terror...whether that terror be of dirty Ay-rabs coming to kill them and make their children GAY, or fear of the Big Scary Black Man,Ñ¢ and his gynormous penis, coming to take their women, or fear of Gay folks getting married just like real people, we despise them for it, and we laugh in their squealing, bewildered faces.
For they are heathens, and they deserve our scorn.  They had a chance to be BIPEDS, Bobdammit, and they chose instead to hide in their respective dream worlds, jabbering about silly made up shit like "Gaia" or "supply-side economics".
Oh, yes, they are afraid of us.¬† They fear we superior mutants a great deal, indeed.¬† For they see that we are not afraid.¬† They hate us for this, but they fear us more.¬† We weren't purged from the Pagan community because we broke their silly little rules.¬† We were purged because we spoke the Hideous Truth,Ñ¢ in broad daylight.¬† In front of impressionable children (and retards).¬† ¬†
And they - all of them, not just the Pagan retards - are becoming more afraid, as they learn of us, and as they learn that this really is OUR century.  They can see that the world they know is spinning hopelessly out of control, and all they can hear is our mocking laughter in their ears, as we move OUR ideology in, to fill the void left by their broken and discarded beliefs.
For this IS our world, now, to have and to hold, to play with and throw down the stairs, to build or destroy at our whim.  They ARE afraid.  They will be MORE afraid, as we let the happy-go-lucky mask slip a little more each day.
And they SHOULD be.
Or kill me.
Fuck yeah! :mittens:
"and we laugh in their squealing, bewildered faces"
:lulz:
:mittens:
:potd:
The day has barely begun and the awesomeness bar has already been set so high. Rog, you never fail to impress.
I was inspired by recent shennanigans involving our newest victim from MW.
This was very uplifting.
It felt like a Discordian version of a Bush-style "we are winning this war" speech.
For propaganda at it's finest, :mittens: , I salute you.
Fucking awesome.
And swote.
And all the rest.
:mittens:
I heart this sermon because it's nice to feel like we're in charge now and then. Like that we have power other than freedom. Cause we're not just victims of all these shitty machinations. Fuck yeah, Rog!
________
if i hadnt stopped congratulating people, i would be congratulating this thread and Rev's demonstration that we are still the chosen ones of the universe
question becomes
do we 1) go out and make them fear us.. or
2) feed whatever are the irrational fears of the day and then melt away into the background
I'm choosing 1.
Beware the dreaded herd. You ever noise up a bunch of cows what had just given birth recently before? You scare them enough to try and kill you.
SRSLY - make them fear something anonymous. Make them fear the idea of you. Then you could be anywhere - it spreads like wildfire ... false positives are identified ... massive lulz on CNN. You ever hear of satanic ritual abuse of children on the orkney isles?
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on March 06, 2007, 05:32:59 PM
question becomes
do we 1) go out and make them fear us.. or
2) feed whatever are the irrational fears of the day and then melt away into the background
Shit yeah.
Quote from: SillyCybin on March 06, 2007, 06:00:48 PM
Beware the dreaded herd. You ever noise up a bunch of cows what had just given birth recently before? You scare them enough to try and kill you.
SRSLY - make them fear something anonymous. Make them fear the idea of you. Then you could be anywhere - it spreads like wildfire ... false positives are identified ... massive lulz on CNN. You ever hear of satanic ritual abuse of children on the orkney isles?
Or Kansas.
Quote from: SillyCybin on March 06, 2007, 06:00:48 PM
Beware the dreaded herd. You ever noise up a bunch of cows what had just given birth recently before? You scare them enough to try and kill you.
SRSLY - make them fear something anonymous. Make them fear the idea of you. Then you could be anywhere - it spreads like wildfire ... false positives are identified ... massive lulz on CNN. You ever hear of satanic ritual abuse of children on the orkney isles?
I want to be martyred.
It's my new favorite cause of death (used to be suicide).
Quote from: hunter s.durden on March 06, 2007, 06:09:13 PM
Quote from: SillyCybin on March 06, 2007, 06:00:48 PM
Beware the dreaded herd. You ever noise up a bunch of cows what had just given birth recently before? You scare them enough to try and kill you.
SRSLY - make them fear something anonymous. Make them fear the idea of you. Then you could be anywhere - it spreads like wildfire ... false positives are identified ... massive lulz on CNN. You ever hear of satanic ritual abuse of children on the orkney isles?
I want to be martyred.
It's my new favorite cause of death (used to be suicide).
I want to be crushed by the Swedish bikini team.
Monty Python reference in 5...4...3...
Quote from: LMNO on March 06, 2007, 06:31:44 PM
Monty Python reference in 5...4...3...
Sorry, the only one that came to my head was, "A SPANKING! A SPANKING!"
Try Meaning of Life.
Fuck I haven't seen that one in a while...and I'm assuming it has nothing to do with Mr. Creosote.
One: People aren't wearing enough hats.
Two: Matter is energy.
...I so lose. :sad:
:mittens:
Brought a tear to my eye. If anyone ever wants a good Discordian motivational speechifying rant/sermon, there it is.
This made me think of the hilarious "bomb scare" here in Boston recently. I've always loved guerilla tactics (no matter what they're for - revolution, marketing, art, whatever!) and that was so funny I was laughing for a solid five minutes the first time I saw one of the "bombs". During that afternoon I was doing my best to reinforce the paranoia (all too easy - even though who the hell cares about blowing up Boston? Yankees fans? Someone that didn't get into Harvard? Hah!) and the ensuing idiocy was the icing on the cake.
Believe the bullshit and you become it (and it becomes you). Play with it, laugh at it, toy with it, and it's the best tool you have to do whatever the hell you want :evil:
Quote from: That One Guy on March 07, 2007, 03:46:59 PM
:mittens:
Brought a tear to my eye. If anyone ever wants a good Discordian motivational speechifying rant/sermon, there it is.
This made me think of the hilarious "bomb scare" here in Boston recently. I've always loved guerilla tactics (no matter what they're for - revolution, marketing, art, whatever!) and that was so funny I was laughing for a solid five minutes the first time I saw one of the "bombs". During that afternoon I was doing my best to reinforce the paranoia (all too easy - even though who the hell cares about blowing up Boston? Yankees fans? Someone that didn't get into Harvard? Hah!) and the ensuing idiocy was the icing on the cake.
Believe the bullshit and you become it (and it becomes you). Play with it, laugh at it, toy with it, and it's the best tool you have to do whatever the hell you want  :evil:
1-31-07
WE
WILL
NEVER
FORGET!!!
Forget what, again?
I approve this rant, btw.
It's nice to remember that living in a storage unit, waking up at five to break out of it, and going to the gym before work is really FOR something other than meeting LG this summer.
Quote from: Felix Mackay on March 08, 2007, 06:03:20 AM
Forget what, again?
I approve this rant, btw. 
It's nice to remember that living in a storage unit, waking up at five to break out of it, and going to the gym before work is really FOR something other than meeting LG this summer.
You could write the Great American Novel,Ñ¢.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 06, 2007, 06:25:39 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on March 06, 2007, 06:09:13 PM
Quote from: SillyCybin on March 06, 2007, 06:00:48 PM
Beware the dreaded herd. You ever noise up a bunch of cows what had just given birth recently before? You scare them enough to try and kill you.
SRSLY - make them fear something anonymous. Make them fear the idea of you. Then you could be anywhere - it spreads like wildfire ... false positives are identified ... massive lulz on CNN. You ever hear of satanic ritual abuse of children on the orkney isles?
I want to be martyred.
It's my new favorite cause of death (used to be suicide).
I want to be crushed by the Swedish bikini team.
Well, both of those certainly beat the
canned salmon.
Please note that The Good Reverend Roger will kill a motherfucker.
Quote from: LMNO on March 08, 2007, 07:43:23 PM
Please note that The Good Reverend Roger will kill a motherfucker.
Thanks, man. My caps lock finger is sore.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 08, 2007, 06:39:35 AM
Quote from: Felix Mackay on March 08, 2007, 06:03:20 AM
Forget what, again?
I approve this rant, btw.
It's nice to remember that living in a storage unit, waking up at five to break out of it, and going to the gym before work is really FOR something other than meeting LG this summer.
You could write the Great American Novel,Ñ¢.
What a perfectly horrid idea.