The Parable of the Gong
As told by Professor Cramulus, OBNOXIOUS JERK cabal
There was once a young Discordian called Golden Rod. Early in his illumination, he wondered what season his country was in.
Perhaps it was in the season of Discord, on the cusp of Bureaucracy. Surely, Order was rising to noxious levels.
Or perhaps it was already Bureaucracy, on the cusp of Aftermath. Surely, Disorder was rising to obnoxious levels.
So in his quest for An Answer, Golden Rod sought out the Discordian monk Nopants. Nopants dwelled in a basement because it would be obscene for him to go outside. Golden Rod freed himself from his leggings and descended the stairs. Below, Nopants sat on a cushion in a gross lotus position.
"My wise friend Nopants, I have come to ask you a question,,Äù said Golden Rod, ,ÄúWhat is Bureaucracy?"
,ÄúIn India,,Äù said Nopants, ,Äúthey tie elephants to trees using thin cords. An elephant could easily snap the cord, yet they remain tethered in place. Why do you think this is?,Äù
Golden Rod itched himself and shrugged.
,ÄúWhen the elephant is young,,Äù intoned Nopants, ,Äúshe is too weak to break the cord. She tries, but eventually she gives up. When the elephant grows up, she does not try to escape her puny bonds because she believes she will fail.,Äù
,ÄúSo the
cord isn,Äôt the thing keeping the elephant in place,,Äù said Golden Rod. He squinted at Nopants, ,ÄúThat,Äôs very interesting, but what does that have to do with Bureaucracy?,Äù
,ÄúBureaucracy,,Äù said Nopants, ,Äúis waiting for a red traffic light in the middle of the night when no one is coming.,Äù
Across space and time, a gong sounded.
Golden Rod left the basement and returned to the real world, thoroughly confused. As he drove home, he ran five red lights. His mirth rose with each light. By the end of the voyage he was giggling like a ninny at his newfound freedom.
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/bin/parablegong.jpg)
Years went by and Golden Rod continued drive towards Aftermath. He ignored stop signs, blew through red lights, and opened his moon roof despite danger of falling rocks.
,ÄúSweet Merciful Ass!,Äù cried out Bung-Fu the Fool as he clawed at the dashboard. ,ÄúYou,Äôre gonna get us both killed!,Äù
,ÄúNonsense! I am self-emancipated from these mundane traffic laws,,Äù cackled Golden Rod. ,ÄúI am a harbinger of Aftermath!,Äù
,ÄúDo you
always drive like this?,Äù said Bung-Fu as he buckled his seat belt.
Golden Rod nodded. "Always."
Meanwhile, the monk Nopants was wheeling his gong across the street towards his basement. He patiently waited for the light to turn red, then pushed the ponderous percussive instrument upon the pavement.
The collision made the exact sound of enlightenment.
Massive Mittens.
:mittens:
That was perfect Cram.
:mittens:
Wow.
I fucking LOVE it.
And: yoinked.
You should send this to Syn over at POEE so he can post it up on his site.
Quote from: triple zero on June 28, 2007, 02:40:14 PM
ok maybe i'm just dumb but i don't "get" the second part of this parable?
the bit that comes after the image.
so he now goes against both traffic regulations and common sense on purpose. isn't that just as dumb?
and then the gong falls on the street? or does he push them in front of the cars? why does this cause the sound of enlightenment?
Hitting the gong with the car is what causes him to hear the gong "through time and space" in the earlier part of the story.
And yes, I think it is just as dumb, but the drive to Aftermath can be like that sometimes.
Quote from: triple zero on June 28, 2007, 02:40:14 PM
ok maybe i'm just dumb but i don't "get" the second part of this parable?
the bit that comes after the image.
so he now goes against both traffic regulations and common sense on purpose. isn't that just as dumb?
and then the gong falls on the street? or does he push them in front of the cars? why does this cause the sound of enlightenment?
I see it this way ... the moment of enlightnement is in the paradox that the same lesson was taught on both sides of the Eristic and Aneristic motivation. The note that he ALWAYS drove like that is no different than NEVER driving like that and being held by a thin cord ... same cord, different pole ...
so the first moment of "enlightenment" when the gong sounded in the basement was simply a demarkation point on the journey from exploring the Aneristic life to the Eristic life. But perhaps true enlightment is not achieved until poor NoPants is killed at the sound fo the second gong, the story does not say.
I dare to dream that in this case ... 2 gongs can make it right ....
(ooooh, i'm gonna pay for that last line, but I couldn't resist)
oh btw, before i forget, now that i understand what was going on :) here are some mittens, Prof:
:mittens:
because it was a really awesome story
Fuck yeah. :mittens:
btw, I cross posted this and GSP to the SJGames forums. And I have to say, I'm pleasantly surprised at their receptiveness so far.
http://forums.sjgames.com/showthread.php?t=28477 (http://forums.sjgames.com/showthread.php?t=28477)
Okay, so only one person has responded, but usually when I post stuff like this everyone says "yeah that's dumb", because it isn't their brand of "high weirdness".
Also SJGames forums has a thing about posting pics so I wasn't able to include the pictures.