Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: BumWurst on July 10, 2007, 03:45:46 PM

Title: Bored at work
Post by: BumWurst on July 10, 2007, 03:45:46 PM
I often wonder what it would be like to skin a celebrity and wear him or her like a coat. Would people confuse you, resplendant in the the newly-cured hide of professional waste-of-space Katie Holmes, for the genuine article? Would a man wearing David Hasselhoff's face and scalp like some kind of perverse Deerstalker be considered kitch, or merely horrific? Could you dress in Tom Cruise's skin and appear at movie premieres? Who would own the "likeness" patent? Since few celebrities have mentionable talent, does wearing their wretched skin constitute "being" a celebrity, since it was only their face which was worthy of note in the first place?

It is often said that beauty is only skin deep, and this would seem an ample opportunity to test the theory - does it only apply if the skin is connected to muscle and subcutaneous fat? Is a middle aged woman wearing Madonna's legs as stockings fashionably attired, or guilty of a crime against humanity?

I maintain that questions like these are worth asking. For your convenience, I have compiled a short list:

What sort of machinery could be used to force President Bush's head up his own arse? Once it was lodged there, how would he shit? Would he have to eat it, and if so, would it just cycle round his system enldlessly, caught in some horrendous coprophiliac loop? How would he give speeches? What are the rammifications of a man's change from lying out of his arse in the metaphorical, to the literal sense? Would he need to comb his hair? His arse hair, not his head hair.

The world is a fascinating place. Let's destroy it.
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: Jasper on July 10, 2007, 07:33:14 PM
I think it would be considered murder plus one, which would get you in death row.

Fascinating place indeed.
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: AFK on July 10, 2007, 07:54:45 PM
Not if you bring them to Maine and then do it.  We don't have the death penalty. 
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on July 10, 2007, 11:07:47 PM
if you cross a state line and then murder them, it's a federal offense. and federal prisons are like 4-star hotels, unless you're brown, in which case they'll send you to gitmo.
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: Forteetu on July 11, 2007, 08:48:48 AM
Quote from: Felix on July 10, 2007, 07:33:14 PM
I think it would be considered murder plus one, which would get you in death row.


... but would you be treated as a celebrity in prison?
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: The Littlest Ubermensch on July 12, 2007, 06:11:16 AM
Quote from: BumWurst on July 10, 2007, 03:45:46 PM
I often wonder what it would be like to skin a celebrity and wear him or her like a coat. Would people confuse you, resplendant in the the newly-cured hide of professional waste-of-space Katie Holmes, for the genuine article? Would a man wearing David Hasselhoff's face and scalp like some kind of perverse Deerstalker be considered kitch, or merely horrific? Could you dress in Tom Cruise's skin and appear at movie premieres? Who would own the "likeness" patent? Since few celebrities have mentionable talent, does wearing their wretched skin constitute "being" a celebrity, since it was only their face which was worthy of note in the first place?

It is often said that beauty is only skin deep, and this would seem an ample opportunity to test the theory - does it only apply if the skin is connected to muscle and subcutaneous fat? Is a middle aged woman wearing Madonna's legs as stockings fashionably attired, or guilty of a crime against humanity?

I maintain that questions like these are worth asking. For your convenience, I have compiled a short list:

What sort of machinery could be used to force President Bush's head up his own arse? Once it was lodged there, how would he shit? Would he have to eat it, and if so, would it just cycle round his system enldlessly, caught in some horrendous coprophiliac loop? How would he give speeches? What are the rammifications of a man's change from lying out of his arse in the metaphorical, to the literal sense? Would he need to comb his hair? His arse hair, not his head hair.

The world is a fascinating place. Let's destroy it.


:retard: LOL, U R LIEK SUPR RANDOM!!!!!!!!111 ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: hunter s.durden on July 12, 2007, 01:32:35 PM
I love 50 as much as the next guy, but this...
Quote from: The Littlest Ubermensch on July 12, 2007, 06:11:16 AM
:retard: LOL, U R LIEK SUPR RANDOM!!!!!!!!111 ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111
... was a much needed response.
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: AFK on July 12, 2007, 02:13:53 PM
Aww c'mon.  I kinda like this guy. 
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: hunter s.durden on July 12, 2007, 02:16:13 PM
Then you can ponder the shitty question.
I'll pass.
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: AFK on July 12, 2007, 02:23:58 PM
yeah, but I'm also lazy.  someone else can do it.   
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: LMNO on July 12, 2007, 02:25:02 PM
What was the question?
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: hunter s.durden on July 12, 2007, 02:26:31 PM
I don't know.
Read the OP.

Here's a question... I flipped on ESPN2 to watch Mike and Mike, and the fucking weather channel popped up. WTF?
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: AFK on July 12, 2007, 02:35:10 PM
solar flares.
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: hunter s.durden on July 12, 2007, 02:38:57 PM
You never answered by the way...
You live in West Virginia?
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: Rev. St. Syn, KSC (Ret.) on July 12, 2007, 04:16:42 PM
Pooter
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: BumWurst on July 12, 2007, 11:22:52 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on July 12, 2007, 01:32:35 PM
I love 50 as much as the next guy, but this...
Quote from: The Littlest Ubermensch on July 12, 2007, 06:11:16 AM
:retard: LOL, U R LIEK SUPR RANDOM!!!!!!!!111 ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111
... was a much needed response.

:lulz:

Why thank you! You are most kind. I'll jus nip off and put some asparagus in my pants. :roll:
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: Cramulus on July 12, 2007, 11:32:28 PM
(http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/2285757/2/istockphoto_2285757_don_t_do_that.jpg)

don't do that
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: Rev. St. Syn, KSC (Ret.) on July 13, 2007, 09:33:24 AM
Not enough cum on her face tbh.
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: hunter s.durden on July 13, 2007, 01:24:37 PM
Why does RWHN never answer me?

I promise if you tell me, I won't try to find you.

Sorta promise, anyway.
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: AFK on July 13, 2007, 01:37:52 PM
Oh was that question for me?  No, I live in Maine.  And I've lived in this state for 30 out of the 31 years I've drawn breath.  That other year was spent in New Jersey.  Gives me the willies just thinking about it. 
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: Payne on July 13, 2007, 01:38:18 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on July 13, 2007, 01:24:37 PM
Why does RWHN never answer me?

I promise if you tell me, I won't try to find you.

Sorta promise, anyway.

He's a family man! It's not so much about safety and E-nonymity as it is NOT scarring his young'un for life should she ever see you.
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: AFK on July 13, 2007, 01:40:43 PM
Well, I'm really not worried about it.  Because, to find me you would afterall have to actually come to Maine.  Despite the name "Vacationland" it really isn't all that exciting.  Unless you're really into outdoorsy stuff, mosquitos, and eating. 
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: hunter s.durden on July 13, 2007, 01:45:24 PM
Don't worry, there's no chance of me coming to Maine.
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: Chairman Risus on July 13, 2007, 08:29:17 PM
Quote from: Payne on July 13, 2007, 01:38:18 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on July 13, 2007, 01:24:37 PM
Why does RWHN never answer me?

I promise if you tell me, I won't try to find you.

Sorta promise, anyway.

He's a family man! It's not so much about safety and E-nonymity as it is NOT scarring his young'un for life should she ever see you.

I always had the feeling that Hunter looks exactly like his avatar. Red background included.
Title: Re: Bored at work
Post by: LMNO on July 13, 2007, 08:30:35 PM
From the blood, of course.