Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 12:59:05 AM

Poll
Question: you get
Option 1: a bard who follows you around and records your deeds in song
Option 2: a little imp who sits on your shoulder and makes mischief
Option 3: a talking horse who is super chill to hang out with
Option 4: a whole pack of college frat goonfucks who are fairly incompetent and drunk all the time but completely subservient to you
Title: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 12:59:05 AM
frankly, I think all those choices are pretty sweet
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: faust on July 20, 2007, 01:00:16 AM
I want the third one but have the fourth one. :( fuck college.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 01:14:11 AM
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/bin/gygaxcallsoutfaust.jpg)
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: faust on July 20, 2007, 01:22:33 AM
hrm. I would love to do an rpg with people from here and see what people think of the minimalist rule system we devised.

Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 01:25:22 AM
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/bin/gygaxcallsoutfaust2.jpg)
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: faust on July 20, 2007, 01:34:43 AM
I dunno, played complicated rule systems for years until I met these two strange polish guys, they had made some weird ass system that though low on stats and stuff, allowed almost complete game freedom within a grid or allow the person the challenge of playing as a character type they had not before should they ask for one.
It was almost completely narrative driven with actions and creativity within the confines of the game  and character grid being so seamless  it was a joy to play from start to finish.
gone were the days of waiting for the asshole in the party to finish in the shop for thirty five minutes or not be able to turn on a light because your perception was too low.

granted it was quite a strain on the gm to do, and no matter how much he prepared for each game he must also have been one of the best improviser gms I have ever seen.
And whats more, though it lacked constraint it did not turn into a annoying fucking pose fest or "my character does this cool action" marathon like larps generally tend to.
I would suggest trying it someday, at least once, just to see what its like.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 01:37:51 AM
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/bin/gygaxcallsoutfaust3.jpg)
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Payne on July 20, 2007, 01:39:57 AM
First: I chose the bard, because I always wanted theme music AND someone to make me feel iportant.

Second: I'm loving your old gamer pics cram.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on July 20, 2007, 01:42:00 AM
The game Discordia! is actually quite fun and I've run a little here and there. Savage Worlds is supposedly minimalist, but I find it about as bad as d20, except you have to deal with a pack of cards and a bunch of dice (minimalist?!).

Cthulhu Live 3 is a pretty minimal system for LARP, definitely easier than WoD (the chops or 1-10 system either one).

In the end though, I find that any system works well if you have a good group to play with.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: faust on July 20, 2007, 01:43:18 AM
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 01:37:51 AM
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/bin/gygaxcallsoutfaust3.jpg)
*comment about ramming two meter exhaust port*
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 01:44:05 AM
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/bin/gygaxcallsoutfaust4.jpg)
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: faust on July 20, 2007, 01:48:04 AM
Quote from: Ratatosk on July 20, 2007, 01:42:00 AM
The game Discordia! is actually quite fun and I've run a little here and there. Savage Worlds is supposedly minimalist, but I find it about as bad as d20, except you have to deal with a pack of cards and a bunch of dice (minimalist?!).

Cthulhu Live 3 is a pretty minimal system for LARP, definitely easier than WoD (the chops or 1-10 system either one).

In the end though, I find that any system works well if you have a good group to play with.
thats not minimalist thats trying to simplify things and failing.
there should not be 4 pages of stats but there should be some form of grid.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Payne on July 20, 2007, 01:56:20 AM
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 01:44:05 AM
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/bin/gygaxcallsoutfaust4.jpg)

I'd get on fine with either. We'd have so much in common.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 02:56:53 AM
Quote from: Payne on July 20, 2007, 01:39:57 AM
I'm loving your old gamer pics.

(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/bin/gygaxcallsoutfaust5.jpg)
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Payne on July 20, 2007, 03:07:42 AM
(http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u289/PayneAlpha/gaymer.png)
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Kimmy Gibbler on July 20, 2007, 03:31:05 AM
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 12:59:05 AM
frankly, I think all those choices are pretty sweet

Bard:  No.  That's called "evidence".

Imp:  My mind gets me in enough trouble as it is.

Talking Horse:  I'm not overly fond of uncooked horse.  Plus they are too high maintainence.

Frat Boys:  Perfect patsies.  I've always wanted goons.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on July 20, 2007, 03:34:39 AM
Quote from: Payne on July 20, 2007, 03:07:42 AM
(http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u289/PayneAlpha/gaymer.png)

oh yeah?

welll...


(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v300/holy_garber/gaymer.jpg)
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Payne on July 20, 2007, 03:36:28 AM
Quote from: mian tiao noodle on July 20, 2007, 03:34:39 AM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v300/holy_garber/gaymer.jpg)

:potd:
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: hunter s.durden on July 20, 2007, 03:42:19 AM
I have chosen the bard, because I've recently thought about getting a herald so people can practice their bowing.

I love songs about me.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on July 20, 2007, 03:44:08 AM
can i be your bard and sing about how much you suck?  :D
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: hunter s.durden on July 20, 2007, 03:47:03 AM
 :tgrr:

Isn't it past your bed time?

Maybe.

Plus: Cram is correct. More complicated rules are more win.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on July 20, 2007, 03:50:25 AM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on July 20, 2007, 03:47:03 AM
:tgrr:

Isn't it past your bed time?

Maybe.

Plus: Cram is correct. More complicated rules are more win.

no wai.
its the old bearded folk who go to bed now.
like you!
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: hunter s.durden on July 20, 2007, 03:52:58 AM
You too with the old....
I might have to take a poll...
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 03:57:29 AM
Quote from: mian tiao noodle on July 20, 2007, 03:50:25 AM
no wai.
its the old bearded folk who go to bed now.
like you!
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/bin/gygaxcallsoutfaust6.jpg)
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on July 20, 2007, 04:00:47 AM
flying ham twatbog = second best thing i have ever been called
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on July 20, 2007, 04:06:52 AM
Super chill horse = only viable option
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Triple Zero on July 20, 2007, 11:57:17 AM
i've GMed the "kobolds ate my baby" system a few times. it's really easy and fast to set up, and the rules are really simple. you just throw a bunch of d6es, and it doesn't really matter because kobolds usually fail at life anyway.

it's got two drawbacks:

- just like with the old thac0, you must roll low to hit, but high for damage. this is confusing and unnecessary and should be turned around.

- the rulebook is shit. the excuse is probably that it's a "beer & pretzels game" and you shouldn't worry too much about the rules and rather improvise. that's cool, but the rulebook is so shitty that this still doesn't fully excuse the shittyness. it's written entirely in uppercase in some cartoonish font, with no bold or italic type to distinguish game terms from the semi-funnay ramblings, which are interspersed through all the text and actual rules are often mentioned halfway a paragraph. this makes it impossible to quickly look something up.

the bright side is that the rules are really that simple and i can (and will) probably summarize them in about 4 pages of text if i leave out all the crap.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: AFK on July 20, 2007, 02:28:48 PM
I chose Bard.  Why?

Two words.

Musical Puns. 

I win!
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on July 20, 2007, 02:32:03 PM
Bards...

Bravely bold Sir Cybin rode forth from Camelot
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Cybin
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Cybin
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And all his limbs hacked and mangled, brave Sir Cybin
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off and his penis...
He is brave Sir Cybin,
Brave Sir Cybin who...
To fight and...............
Brave Sir Cybin ran away
Bravely, ran away...away...
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Yes, brave Sir Cybin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely talking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat
Bravest of the brave, Sir Cybin
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Darth Cupcake on July 20, 2007, 02:33:48 PM
Quote from: SillyCybin on July 20, 2007, 02:32:03 PM
Bards...

Bravely bold Sir Cybin rode forth from Camelot
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Cybin
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Cybin
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And all his limbs hacked and mangled, brave Sir Cybin
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off and his penis...
He is brave Sir Cybin,
Brave Sir Cybin who...
To fight and...............
Brave Sir Cybin ran away
Bravely, ran away...away...
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Yes, brave Sir Cybin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely talking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat
Bravest of the brave, Sir Cybin

*cackle*

Just beware for when I invade Scotland. Then you won't be so brave! Grrrr! I am fierce and scary!
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Jasper on July 20, 2007, 06:21:26 PM
More info on the imp.  Does it have cantrip?
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Suu on July 20, 2007, 06:36:37 PM
I want a whole pack of college frat goonfucks who are fairly incompetent and drunk all the time but are completely subservient to me!
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Triple Zero on July 20, 2007, 06:37:56 PM
i want a pack of singing imp drunken goonfucks that ride on little horses that talk and are really cool to hang out with.

as long as the horses don't shit on my shoulder
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 06:54:29 PM
Quote from: Felix on July 20, 2007, 06:21:26 PM
More info on the imp.  Does it have cantrip?

spell like abilities:
at will- detect good, detect magic, invisibility (self only)
1/day -- suggestion
1/week - an imp can commune to ask up to six questions

an imp can assume one or two forms no larger than medium sized. Common forms include monstrous spider, raven, rat, and boar.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Jasper on July 20, 2007, 07:02:18 PM
...Alignment?
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: LMNO on July 20, 2007, 07:10:49 PM
Quote from: Kaou Suu on July 20, 2007, 06:36:37 PM
I want a whole pack of college frat goonfucks who are fairly incompetent and drunk all the time but are completely subservient to me!


OFUK!  Suu is cheating on her husband!





AGAIN!
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: hunter s.durden on July 20, 2007, 07:23:31 PM
Quote from: LMNO on July 20, 2007, 07:10:49 PM
Quote from: Kaou Suu on July 20, 2007, 06:36:37 PM
I want a whole pack of college frat goonfucks who are fairly incompetent and drunk all the time but are completely subservient to me!


OFUK!  Suu is cheating on her husband!





AGAIN!

That's what came to mind for me.
I have a movie about that.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 08:07:12 PM
Quote from: Felix on July 20, 2007, 07:02:18 PM
...Alignment?

imps, like all devils, are lawful evil
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Doktor Loki on July 20, 2007, 08:15:37 PM
If you want something chaotic, get a Qausit.

Erm....

:pukka:

(I dont know what that emote means, but I've never seen anyone post it.)
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Triple Zero on July 20, 2007, 08:19:06 PM
it's jamie oliver.

but i think nobody knows what it means.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Drunken Monkey Cabal on July 21, 2007, 01:49:34 AM
pukka is south east england slang for somthing awesome.

was his catch phrase for a while. so lots of people ended up saying pukka, there by its a kind of pisstake of somthign being cool
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Jasper on July 21, 2007, 08:33:14 AM
Heheh.  Can you blame him?  If I was famous, I'd introduce really stupid slang into pop culture too- just so I could hear some one say it and tell they're a shit for brains.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Triple Zero on July 21, 2007, 11:39:04 AM
heh. troof. i think we all would :)
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: saint aini on July 21, 2007, 02:58:35 PM
frat boys that are subservient cannon fodder...

they'll fuck up the system long enough for my evil plans to work.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Frenzied Destruction on July 21, 2007, 03:42:55 PM
Quote from: SillyCybin on July 20, 2007, 02:32:03 PM
Bards...

Bravely bold Sir Cybin rode forth from Camelot
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Cybin
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Cybin
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And all his limbs hacked and mangled, brave Sir Cybin
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off and his penis...
He is brave Sir Cybin,
Brave Sir Cybin who...
To fight and...............
Brave Sir Cybin ran away
Bravely, ran away...away...
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Yes, brave Sir Cybin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely talking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat
Bravest of the brave, Sir Cybin
This was the first thing that came to my mind when i saw the bard option.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Cain on July 21, 2007, 03:54:59 PM
Fuck you all.  Rogue is the only decent class, everything else sucks balls.  And I don't care thats not an option, kick out the bard or something.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Triple Zero on July 21, 2007, 04:05:26 PM
the question was, who will be your sidekick. but you can still be the rogue, sneak stab people in the back from hiding in the shadows, while your pack of drunk college frats draw all the attention away from you!

or you could go for the horse and be that silent mysterious desperado rogue that never talks. except to the horse. which is why everyone thinks they're insane, until it is too late! (and who knows the horse might have a class level or 2 for that extra sneak horsefoot-in-the-back)
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Cain on July 21, 2007, 04:10:19 PM
The rogue has to be a sidekick, however.  That way, he can steal something valuable while you are not paying attention, ensuring a sequel to the original adventure.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: saint aini on July 21, 2007, 04:38:26 PM
Du bist genauso wie ich.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Jasper on July 21, 2007, 05:03:55 PM
Blort zarf tum walope.

See, I can speak in tongues too! :D
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: saint aini on July 21, 2007, 05:34:28 PM
You are exactly the same as I.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Jasper on July 21, 2007, 05:53:29 PM
I am?
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: saint aini on July 21, 2007, 08:05:58 PM
now, my drunk, German, inept frat boy minions will kill you.

but first, I'd like to know one thing, Felix, did it hurt to kill so many good, innocent threads with AI bullshit?
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Cramulus on March 04, 2008, 07:53:56 PM
bumped for Gary Gygax's passing  :cry:
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2008, 08:49:34 PM
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on July 20, 2007, 12:59:05 AM
frankly, I think all those choices are pretty sweet

Trained monkey or GTFO.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Kurt Christ on March 05, 2008, 02:33:06 AM
I vote bard, because it would be amazing to have my epic deeds retold in song,
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 05, 2008, 04:42:02 AM
I voted college thugs, for obvious reasons.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Cramulus on May 15, 2010, 04:25:38 PM
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/forum/animatedcramulusbellybump.gif)
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Payne on May 15, 2010, 04:49:00 PM
The Old Gamer pics still make me laugh.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Triple Zero on May 15, 2010, 05:10:36 PM
it's also STILL Gary fucking Gygax.

you little cunt.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Payne on May 15, 2010, 05:30:52 PM
 :argh!:
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Jasper on May 15, 2010, 06:05:43 PM
Had to change my vote.  A talking horse for sure.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: BadBeast on May 17, 2010, 04:12:57 AM
Wanted the talking Horse, but the Imp on my shoulder made me vote for him.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on May 17, 2010, 04:41:07 AM
It has to be the talking horse.

Imagine all the witty digs he would get in at other people on the road when you're riding him around or while he's defecating in public.

Too good.

I also considered the frat goons.

They would fuck everything up though because they're incompetent.

You'd ask them to get beer and they'd get Milwaukee's Best ICE and drink most of it before they got back.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Requia ☣ on May 17, 2010, 04:46:00 AM
I got the frat goons.  If I learned anything in college its that you can talk incompetent frat goons into getting themselves into the hospital in truly hilarious ways.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Salty on May 17, 2010, 04:54:00 AM
The major advantage to the horse, beyond conversation and transportation, is that if someone steals your friend you can have 'em hanged.  :evil:
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Eater of Clowns on May 17, 2010, 05:14:13 AM
It was between the horse and the imp.  I chose the horse because it's utilitarian - not only can you hang out, you can ride the fucker!  The imp will really only serve to drive you slowly mad.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Jasper on May 17, 2010, 05:18:51 AM
See, though, you could teach the horse to play the kazoo.  Then, when people disagree with me, I can say "This horse is playing Bach's Toccata in G Minor on the kazoo.  Your argument is invalid."  And they would shut up, go home, and commit suicide.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: BadBeast on May 17, 2010, 06:44:12 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on May 17, 2010, 05:18:51 AM
See, though, you could teach the horse to play the kazoo.  Then, when people disagree with me, I can say "This horse is playing Bach's Toccata in G Minor on the kazoo.  Your argument is invalid."  And they would shut up, go home, and commit suicide.
You'd have to be damned sure the Kazoo was tuned to G Minor though, or some pedant with perfect pitch is bound to call you on it. Invalidating the whole raison d'etre of the Horse. Which may result in quite serious equine issues.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: LMNO on May 17, 2010, 06:50:12 PM
"tune a kazoo"?

I think I found a new euphemism.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: Jasper on May 17, 2010, 07:00:30 PM
If anybody points out that the kazoo is in the wrong key, there is always the 'trample' option.
Title: Re: Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick
Post by: BadBeast on May 17, 2010, 08:01:09 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on May 17, 2010, 07:00:30 PM
If anybody points out that the kazoo is in the wrong key, there is always the 'trample' option.

I'm don't quite understand why you'd have a talking horse validate your argument, by playing a Kazoo. You can train any old Donkey to play a Kazoo.  As this particular Horse has the quite rare ability to speak, wouldn't it  be more effective to just have the half ton fucker agree with whatever you said? 
Maybe in a jocular "Mr Ed" voice?