Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: PopeTom on September 27, 2007, 01:01:25 AM

Title: Fuck Forest Gump
Post by: PopeTom on September 27, 2007, 01:01:25 AM
Fuck Forest Gump

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get."

I lost count of how many dumb fuckers who are unwilling to take control of their own life brought up that quote.

Here's a newsflash asshole, any worthwhile box of chocolates will come with a key.  That way you can tell which ones have the tasty cherry syrup in them and which ones are just cat turds.

Me, I'm allergic to chocolate, so as far as I'm concerned you can take all those boxes and stuff them up your ass.

You know what life is really like?  It's like a pencil, a fucking broken pencil.

Pointless.

Which means if you want to do something worthwhile, feel special, make a difference you need to get up off your cottage cheese like ass and go find a pencil sharpener.   Then once you manage to coordinate your monkey brain and opposable thumb to give your life a point you need to get out there and jab some motherfucker in the eye with it.

I won't lie to you, there will be some blood, that just happens when you stab a fucker in the eye.  But once the screaming has stopped you can then go through his wallet and take his money.  Once you have that fuckers money you need to get your ass to a Staples or some shit office supply shop like it and buy a M-O-T-H-E-R-F-U-C-K-I-N-G pen.

Because you don't need to sharpen a pen, and it is probably a more apt metaphor for what you want you life to really be like.
Title: Re: Fuck Forest Gump
Post by: guest7654 on September 27, 2007, 05:37:17 AM
QuoteI'm allergic to chocolate

no wonder you feel this way.

but srsly, brav-fuckin-o :mittens:
Title: Re: Fuck Forest Gump
Post by: Cain on September 27, 2007, 02:20:31 PM
HELL YEAH!
Title: Re: Fuck Forest Gump
Post by: That One Guy on September 27, 2007, 02:34:12 PM
Quality

:mittens:
Title: Re: Fuck Forest Gump
Post by: LMNO on September 27, 2007, 02:54:34 PM
Damn, Tom.

I didn't know you had it in you.
Title: Re: Fuck Forest Gump
Post by: Cramulus on September 27, 2007, 04:17:47 PM
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/gumpwetqwt.jpg)
Title: Re: Fuck Forest Gump
Post by: AFK on September 27, 2007, 05:01:22 PM
this deserves the special edition glowy mittens.

But since we don't have those you get a bunch of these:

:mittens:  :mittens:   :mittens:   :mittens:
:mittens:   :mittens:  :mittens:  :mittens:
:mittens:  :mittens:  :mittens:  :mittens:
Title: Re: Fuck Forest Gump
Post by: hunter s.durden on September 27, 2007, 06:44:23 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on September 27, 2007, 01:01:25 AM
I lost count of how many dumb fuckers who are unwilling to take control of their own life brought up that quote.

:mittens: :mittens: :mittens:

Great Rant.
This shit deserves the glowing nuclear mittens.
Title: Re: Fuck Forest Gump
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on September 27, 2007, 09:03:30 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on September 27, 2007, 01:01:25 AM

Here's a newsflash asshole, any worthwhile box of chocolates will come with a key.  That way you can tell which ones have the tasty cherry syrup in them and which ones are just cat turds.



Which means if you want to do something worthwhile, feel special, make a difference you need to get up off your cottage cheese like ass and go find a pencil sharpener.   Then once you manage to coordinate your monkey brain and opposable thumb to give your life a point you need to get out there and jab some motherfucker in the eye with it.




of course the whole thing was great but these are my favorite parts

:mittens:
Title: Re: Fuck Forest Gump
Post by: AFK on September 28, 2007, 04:39:31 PM
Hey, Popetom, you aren't in the Kopyleft Authors thread in the Propoganda Depository.  Are you Kopyleft and could I add this to the BIP Wiki site?  Because, I'd really, really like to. 
Title: Re: Fuck Forest Gump
Post by: LMNO on September 28, 2007, 05:04:50 PM
Tom, specifically, RWHN is referring to this: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=11808.0
Title: Re: Fuck Forest Gump
Post by: PopeTom on September 28, 2007, 05:51:30 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on September 28, 2007, 04:39:31 PM
Hey, Popetom, you aren't in the Kopyleft Authors thread in the Propoganda Depository.  Are you Kopyleft and could I add this to the BIP Wiki site?  Because, I'd really, really like to. 

Here ya go, feel free to use it.

Quote from: PopeTom on September 28, 2007, 05:49:53 PM
My works may be used freely the only stipulation is if you decide to use the Discordian Pirate emblem (my icon) you must take the time to remind people why pirates are so much better then ninja.
Title: Re: Fuck Forest Gump
Post by: AFK on September 28, 2007, 05:57:53 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on September 28, 2007, 05:51:30 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on September 28, 2007, 04:39:31 PM
Hey, Popetom, you aren't in the Kopyleft Authors thread in the Propoganda Depository.  Are you Kopyleft and could I add this to the BIP Wiki site?  Because, I'd really, really like to. 

Here ya go, feel free to use it.

Quote from: PopeTom on September 28, 2007, 05:49:53 PM
My works may be used freely the only stipulation is if you decide to use the Discordian Pirate emblem (my icon) you must take the time to remind people why pirates are so much better then ninja.

cool.  thanks.