I woke up silently this morning, half an hour before my 7am homeless-shelter wake up call, fifteen minutes earlier than I usually do, and so allowed myself to enjoy the luxury of laying comfortably in my plastic-matress bottom bunk on a steel-framed bed in a room full of sleeping boys, guys, and men. I went downstairs, had the staff open my locker full of what very little I own, and donned my best white dress shirt, only green tie, black suit jacket, and black fedora. Not because I had to; only because I felt like it.
Today is a special day; at 9pm this evening, there will be a massive game of Capture-the-Flag taking place in Toronto's downtown financial district, played out by some couple hundred happy, life-loving young adults. At some point during all this, amongst all my closest friends, I'll get to see my ftm-trans boyfriend, run around together, and eventually retire to his place for the night. I can barely contain my excitement.
After brushing my teeth, I pondered the meaninglessness of brushing before eating breakfast as I sat down to a bowl of frosted flakes and fresh pear slices, moistened with milk from a dispensing machine and washed down with half a glass of apple juice; only half, as I didn't want to consume *too* much sugar so early in the morning. Having finished eating just in time for some of the friends I've made in the past couple days I'd been there to wake up and saunter downstairs, I was delighted to be able to pay full attention to, and even occasionally participate in, the witty banter that goes on between semi-bemused morning-bitchy young european gay men. After filling some time with happy laughter, I was invited to coffee by one of said men, (and was pleasantly suprised to find another of my friends already at the cafe,) thus continuing the banter for some time. Upscale chain-cafe coffees polished off, the two of us left to talk to a friend we had seen walking past before going our separate ways.
It was a cold fall morning, one of the first of many to fall under the single-digits celcius, but the thin jacket I was wearing sufficed enough that I could still walk to the library with a smile on my face. I checked my emails and my forums, and enjoyed laughing at a tale of miserable people who don't have a clue how fortunate they really are.
It's going to be a wonderful day today, somehow better than the last; just like it is every day.
Why the fuck did you just post that?
Because really, deep down, I hate you all.
"New Topic" button. Can you see it?
Quote from: Kaienne on October 12, 2007, 03:16:37 PM
Because really, deep down, I hate you all.
That may be true, but Sepia never posted anything negativly against you. Did you really have to go and shit on his post?
You are fantastically good at making enemies, you know.
Sepia, let me know if you want me to seperate the inevitable shitstorm into a new thread or not.
Quote from: LMNO on October 12, 2007, 03:19:01 PM
That may be true, but Sepia never posted anything negativly against you. Did you really have to go and shit on his post?
You are fantastically good at making enemies, you know.
Only when I want to. Offline, I'm actually extremely pleasant and easy to get along with.
I'm so sick and tired of people who have so goddamned much and piss and moan and complain about how shit sucks. You know what sucks? Being fucking homeless sucks. You want to talk about failing your parents? Never mind this boo-hoo I didn't finish college bullshit. Sleeping in a dorm infested with bed bugs sucks. Only owning two changes of clothes sucks. Having to busk in the cold for enough pocket change to sit in a cafe and escape the weather sucks. Should I continue? And yet (despite the consciously-selected angered tone I'm taking), I'm the one with a smile on my face. You assholes don't even know how much you have.
Y'all can go fuck yourselves and your whiny bullshit. Don't like your life? Fucking do something about it, rather than piss and moan into a computer screen displaying posts of a bunch of other assholes who hate their lives about how you want to step in front of an SUV, or stop bitching and get it over with.
Wow, you totally missed the point of Sepia's post, didn't you?
Maybe your personal stench distracted you. It's possible.
Quote from: LMNO on October 12, 2007, 03:33:52 PM
Wow, you totally missed the point of Sepia's post, didn't you?
Maybe your personal stench distracted you. It's possible.
Obviously. After all, my intelligence is
totally and completely proportional to my income. Maybe you should explain it to me.
Hey, I didn't say anything about your personal income.
I was talking about your personal hygiene.
Also, note that I didn't say anything about your intelligence. Not directly, anyway.
But, you did a good job of trying to redirect the conversation away from your personal failing and into a larger strawman of IQ v Income.
You still fail, though.
O-KAY. So, um, what the hell? Sadly, it's too bad Kaienne. You have some good stuff (I really like all those drawings) and you seemed to actively be trying to at least get along with people after the previous shit.
Then this.
Does your life suck? I have no idea - I've never met you and only know about you what you've chosen to say here. And, while some of that was good shit, you've chosen to tell us all to fuck off. So, have fun. You'll probably have a few people participate in all the flaming that will be happening, but honestly I don't give a shit what you think if you can't have a basic respect for what other people are trying to say - while you're whinging about your own shit in the hopes that people will do ... something ... regarding it.
So, have fun with the rest of your life.
/pledge
My life doesn't suck. My life, actually, rocks. I wake up smiling every day and I go to bed smiling. Despite the fact that I'm posting from a public library 'cos I don't own my own computer. Despite the fact I live in a homeless shelter. Despite a number of shitty factors that could very easily bring me down.
I'm not the only one who can miss a point here, apparently.
You know, if you would only stop acting like such a douchebag so much, it would be a hell of a lot easier to communicate with you.
Because the problem obvously couldn't be with you.
Quote from: Kaienne on October 12, 2007, 03:54:44 PM
My life doesn't suck. My life, actually, rocks. I wake up smiling every day and I go to bed smiling. Despite the fact that I'm posting from a public library 'cos I don't own my own computer. Despite the fact I live in a homeless shelter. Despite a number of shitty factors that could very easily bring me down.
I'm not the only one who can miss a point here, apparently.
I'M LOVIN' IT.
Quote from: Kaienne on October 12, 2007, 04:05:10 PM
Because the problem obvously couldn't be with you.
Hey, I'm not perfect, never said I was.
I'm
also not the one who misunderstood Sepia's post and then shit on it.
I've spent a few weeks sleeping in parks and on benches in Edinburgh in November/December. It's no fun, I can tell you, and I would never look to belittle homelessness.
What I can say is you don't see me shitting all over E-People for it.
Also, Sepia, got round to reading your OP, very nice!
Sepia - that was an amazing post!
Thanks to all kind words and also to Kaienne for making me laugh.
I'm still confused here so I'll wait untill I'm off medication by posting but damn I'm giggling.
But Kaienne, the point of my post was to whine and hope I get run over by a truck/step out infront of one because I can't live my own life and I do not wish to face reality?
All critique is indeed very welcome and yours is no exception.
Okay, Number One.
One's personal struggles does not invalidate anothers. We each live in our own skin, our own minds, our own thoughts. Yes, we can empathize with those who have less resources for life at their disposal. I feel awful about the displaced 12 year old Iraqis who are being forced to work 12 hour days, 7 days a week just to keep their families alive. But, you know what, that doesn't mean my or anyone else's personal struggles end.
One can be selfless and empathetic for others, but if one forgets themself in the process, what good does it do? How am I going to help someone like you while I am in a (metaphorical and/or literal) straightjacket?
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/forumspecific/i_like_where_this_thread_is_going.jpg)
Quote from: Sepia on October 12, 2007, 04:54:50 PM
Thanks to all kind words and also to Kaienne for making me laugh.
I'm still confused here so I'll wait untill I'm off medication by posting but damn I'm giggling.
But Kaienne, the point of my post was to whine and hope I get run over by a truck/step out infront of one because I can't live my own life and I do not wish to face reality?
All critique is indeed very welcome and yours is no exception.
I think that the point of your post was like many of your other posts, to show a person awakening to the lack of meaning in the new awareness of what their existance is, and trying to figure out how to deal with it. Its not emo in the least, its resolute.
Kai'enne missed the point in trying to "play a devils advocate".
Oh, that's where I put my Patience Hat!
Thanks for taking care of it, BMW.
Quote from: LMNO on October 12, 2007, 07:31:12 PM
Oh, that's where I put my Patience Hat!
Thanks for taking care of it, BMW.
Wait...what?
THE ABOVE WAS A CROSS-REFERENCE POST REGARDING OTHERS' COMMENTS THAT I HAD MUCH PATIENCE WHEN IT CAME TO THINGS LIKE THIS.
Quote from: LMNO on October 12, 2007, 07:52:42 PM
THE ABOVE WAS A CROSS-REFERENCE POST REGARDING OTHERS' COMMENTS THAT I HAD MUCH PATIENCE WHEN IT CAME TO THINGS LIKE THIS.
Oh... :lol:
Quote from: Sepia on October 12, 2007, 04:54:50 PM
Thanks to all kind words and also to Kaienne for making me laugh.
I'm still confused here so I'll wait untill I'm off medication by posting but damn I'm giggling.
But Kaienne, the point of my post was to whine and hope I get run over by a truck/step out infront of one because I can't live my own life and I do not wish to face reality?
All critique is indeed very welcome and yours is no exception.
I'm glad
someone enjoyed it.
The primary motivation for my post was just to be oppositional. Sepia's OP claimed 'you this', 'you that'; negative, negative, negative. Lies! None of it was true for me, I'm an extremely happy person, so, I wrote my own. Any quarreling that came as a further result was in counter to people's reactions, and not the OP itself. (Including What's-His-Name's initial reaction, claiming it to hit close to home. If you want to get technical, it was him I was shitting on. :lol:)
so...you might say that this was an outlandish sociological experiment in which you were really just manipulating our reactions for your own amusement?
Kaienne- still a douche.
everyone's personal sucks are just as valid as the next guys.
it sounds like you're trying to one-up everyone on their sucks because you're homeless. and apparently it sucks but you like it.
you know, i choose not to be homeless and the hard work i do (at two jobs) for 12-13 hours a day sucks for me. is my suck any less valid than yours because i have a home, no bugs in my bed and more than one change of clothes?
i dont think so.
Sepias post was pretty awesome, especially if it can get this kind of a reaction.
was it "Save your brightest smile for hell my darlings"?
cause i only saw one or two replies to it.
i did like it though
but if there was something negative there it mustve been deleted before i saw.
this kid just bugs me. almost everything he says bugs me.
in an - itch on the bottom of your foot inside your sock-n-shoe where you cant reach to scratch it- kinda way
Quote from: Cthulhu's Squidling on October 13, 2007, 06:57:31 AM
was it "Save your brightest smile for hell my darlings"?
Yeah. Kaiennes first reply was made into a new topic
Quote
The primary motivation for my post was just to be oppositional. Sepia's OP claimed 'you this', 'you that'; negative, negative, negative. Lies! None of it was true for me, I'm an extremely happy person, so, I wrote my own. Any quarreling that came as a further result was in counter to people's reactions, and not the OP itself. (Including What's-His-Name's initial reaction, claiming it to hit close to home. If you want to get technical, it was him I was shitting on. lol)
I think it's wonderful that you're a happy person. Good, fine, swell, nice for you. Now, please fuck off in a kind way and make your own thread in the future about how happy is good for you in any way possible, because happy is usually one of the things I loathe in my common man as people who usually are happy at daytime, joking and jesting around become completely unhappy at nightfall or when drinking/smoking and a happy man usually falls his own length times ten and becomes the most boring sod to have ever whined over a beer glass. "I just wished everyone was happy".
I couldn't give a shit about being turded on and I wouldn't have cared if you didn't make the last remarks there where you go dig yourself deeper into your version of the magic misty land because why the fuck would you shit on what's his name?
Sepia, still on something akin to horse tranquilizers
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on October 13, 2007, 06:25:51 AM
so...you might say that this was an outlandish sociological experiment in which Kaienne was really just manipulating our reactions for his own amusement?
Quote from: Kaienne on October 12, 2007, 11:07:08 PM
Quote from: Sepia on October 12, 2007, 04:54:50 PM
Thanks to all kind words and also to Kaienne for making me laugh.
I'm still confused here so I'll wait untill I'm off medication by posting but damn I'm giggling.
But Kaienne, the point of my post was to whine and hope I get run over by a truck/step out infront of one because I can't live my own life and I do not wish to face reality?
All critique is indeed very welcome and yours is no exception.
I'm glad someone enjoyed it.
The primary motivation for my post was just to be oppositional. Sepia's OP claimed 'you this', 'you that'; negative, negative, negative. Lies! None of it was true for me, I'm an extremely happy person, so, I wrote my own. Any quarreling that came as a further result was in counter to people's reactions, and not the OP itself. (Including What's-His-Name's initial reaction, claiming it to hit close to home. If you want to get technical, it was him I was shitting on. :lol:)
Eh, I liked it. (Sepia's OP) It reminded of things I've thought as I've grown to be a 30-something. I'm sorry you've gone through, and are going through, some tribulations that I have not, and probably will not. But that is NOT my problem. It doesn't negate the experiences I've had. It doesn't negate the life that
I have led. If you have a problem with my history and how it resonates with others, fine. I don't really understand it, or why it compels you to "shit on me" as you say, but if it floats your boat, go for it.
Quote from: Kaienne on October 12, 2007, 11:07:08 PM
The primary motivation for my post was just to be oppositional.
BORING.