No. You're wrong, you'll get it right once but you ain't got it right now. Pilgrim. You got the scheme and the gist of it, you've brought yourself through a couple of times, you've proved your mind isn't dead nor decayed and that's the step you get all wrong. Your mind has decayed and it is indeed dying as you said when she left that we're here to live untill we die, that it's just this journey and you figured it out on your own and you felt pride swell your belly when you heard timothy leary, ken kesey and bill hicks say it again. You've already understood that memories is one of the fundamental truths in this world, that it's one of the things every human relies on besides norms and rules and conscience for not committing suicide now. You've read your misogynistic anarchists and you've read the EXIT manifesto and once you sat in your undies, wanking to koestler and smoking a pipe. You've grown certain, you know your tastes, you've developed your ego past the stage of most collegekids and masterdegree students you've met and you used to be baffled by the fact
That they aren't really anything more worth, aren't more intelligent, aren't what you were led to believe but the jade is on and everything you see pass through a glare and dullens as the grape eyes bukowski spoke about which you'll frequently say loud when you've gotten enough courage and enough synthetics to allow you to sway on the barstool
"My shoes are too tight but it doesn't matter, I've forgot how to dance" - Lando of Babylon 5
Your mind, my dear friend have decayed by your own standards, you're locked in tight, you're locked in on the battle, you've turned into the warrior
The warrior that knows that the blade has two edges, both for cutting
The warrior that knows you shall die, but you shan't go alone
The warrior that
You have become. Do you believe in fate? Do you believe in free will? Do you believe there is a difference between the two?
Your sincerest apologies for the human race falls upon dead ears, none of us remain long enough to care for you anymore, high idiot king of apathy, lord sovereign of ego and so many names that we could use to call you like the demon you are. What you were, what you became, your head started spinning once and you stopped it and you told everyone who would listen that you would not serve in heaven, you would not serve and and and and all of this falls down, knives in clandestine, secret murmurs when you thought you slept but even you will not listen anymore, 'cept for the lament of gandalf your landlord sings every night in elvish
You can feel your belly swelling and you grow old, you grow old enough to realize your life has become the dream sequence at the end of the 25th hour and you've gotten old enough to fast forward through it and in bitter bile and spite you peer through the curtain and you know you're too old, you know you've ignored the voices for so long, for far too long
and you die in your bathtub, trying to die young, ignoring everything you ever learned when understanding how your prison worked, when the meals were served, how the library could be used, how to carve and how to weld and you've always known it, the little secret tugging at the heart of your empire and you keep the toaster raised untill the white rabbit peaks and you drop it and you expect a clean death with acid colours going through impossible directions, perhaps you hoped for hassan i sabbah, brion gysin, william burroughs to lead you through the life you had passing through your eyes
your body is dead but your brain begins to hum. slowly, first, building momentum before it terrifies you, before it blows you away and you want to back out of the crooked little deal, you want out of this crooked little vein but there are some words that you remember now, the choir falling silent, a drugdealer you shot heroin with once and only once just to see if you could see something more to life and you hear his voice crisp and clear as a slice of lime on first springs day
"When it's gotten in, you can't get it out"
the momentum catches on again, builds up further and now you hear every symphony you've composed in the shower, every book you wrote when you sat hungover and coming down shitting frenzied and every poem, every note you made washing dishes, every play you planned in your head while your teacher stood before you, every fate you've seen, serving them beer
we descend into you mother, iron and lung, cancer and arthritis, metal go clang
that hit really close to home, Sepia.
really deeply impressive.
thanks for posting that
Awesome.
Is this fucker back, or is this a tease?
Shit......
What just happened to me?
RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Brilliant! :mittens:
I'm surprised and I have obviously no idea about what I write is good or most suited for this audience as this was something I hacked together in 45 mins before going to bed after having had one of my more exhausting days ever and I looked it over and saw things I wanted to change but was way too tired to be arsed.
Cool you liked it though, guess I'll give it a few days distance before making up my mind about it.
i'm not sure if i got everything out of it that it intended to tell, but i get from it a general feeling of people lamenting not realizing what they perceive as their "full potential".
what a thing to stare oneself blind at.
i catch myself doing it from time to time, but really it's about the most useless thought ever, IMO.
also, on a totally unrelated note, as someone who selects random pieces of text while reading (mostly to help my eyes keep track of where i was), under linux you accidentally press the middle mouse button and shove the whole selected text into a google search. this time i got the twelve monkeys script (http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/twelve_monkeys.html) and two (http://www.scc.mi.org/SCC/quotes.html) discordian sites (http://www.frogboy.freeuk.com/illuminatus.html). which kinda surprised me cause there was nothing particularly discordian in the bit i copied.
Freaky 0_o
Quote from: Sepia on October 18, 2007, 01:36:22 PM
I'm surprised and I have obviously no idea about what I write is good or most suited for this audience as this was something I hacked together in 45 mins before going to bed after having had one of my more exhausting days ever and I looked it over and saw things I wanted to change but was way too tired to be arsed.
Cool you liked it though, guess I'll give it a few days distance before making up my mind about it.
That's when I write my best shit.
Quote from: triple zero on October 18, 2007, 02:04:57 PM
i'm not sure if i got everything out of it that it intended to tell, but i get from it a general feeling of people lamenting not realizing what they perceive as their "full potential".
what a thing to stare oneself blind at.
i catch myself doing it from time to time, but really it's about the most useless thought ever, IMO.
also, on a totally unrelated note, as someone who selects random pieces of text while reading (mostly to help my eyes keep track of where i was), under linux you accidentally press the middle mouse button and shove the whole selected text into a google search. this time i got the twelve monkeys script (http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/twelve_monkeys.html) and two (http://www.scc.mi.org/SCC/quotes.html) discordian sites (http://www.frogboy.freeuk.com/illuminatus.html). which kinda surprised me cause there was nothing particularly discordian in the bit i copied.
From the first Discordian site:
Quote from: http://www.scc.mi.org/SCC/quotes.html"she's not a woman, she's 'differently sexed'" -mst3k
:lulz: Can this be made into a memebomb?
The references were right the fuck on, they drag me in and I almost scream 'Fuck yeah!'...
but by the end, my spirit lies in the fetal position, whimpering.