not that this couldn't have been done already with some of the posts in here, given the prolonged longevity of a few threads...
but i think we should write a compiled book of discordian/zen/discordian
zen sayings and phrases etc...
everyone just toss one in and we'll see how close to a book we can get!!
i mean literally anything. just throw it in here. haiku are good, too. i've
been trying to revive the lost art of MuPoo...insulting/offensive haiku.
Mine (MuPoo):
#1
this irritable
bowel syndrome leaves my ass sore
just like you once did
#2
a handful of shit
and a wish in your heart
which one happens first?
#3
just another day
why should your shit smell better?
you're just an asshole.
#4
life is another
STD you cannot cure;
terminal illness.
#5
set up us the bomb
all your base are belong to us
haven't i heard this?
#6
i hate when you speak
to see you makes me vomit
die away from me
a young boy is playing ina field. a zen master approaches the boy and asks "what is the sound of one hundred thousand monkeys singing karaoke?"
the boy replies"
" show me what is not the sound of ten thosuand monkeys singing karaoke, and i will show you..."
and with that the boy wacked the zen master with a stick,
showing him grandchildly kindness.
there was once a young zen master named "there was once a zen master named "there was once a zen master named "there was once a zen master named""" , but we'll just call him Zen for now.
zen, one day, came upon a koan that made him believe he had reached
enlightenment. this koan was: "The UpRoar of One Hand Clapping."
long did he live, believing he was enlightened. then one day he saw
something that outdid his koan in a manner of display.
Zen saw the standing ovation of a Quadrupeligic and was then Enlightened.
Some say "mu".
Some say "fnord".
Some say nothing.
nothing
which is annoying because i wanted to send noyhing but it wouldnt let me....ar the ways of discord and order
This is an actual Extreme-zen koan that Eris helped me write just the other night.
There was a blown bulb in the zendo that had a habit of flickering while the abbot was meditating, so young Tenzin was sent with a ladder to change it.
Just as he climbed the ladder Nine-Buddhas Mc-gee walked in. He bowed respectfully to the young attendant before asking, "How many Zen monks does it take to change a lightbulb?"
Normally, such an obvious joke would have made Tenzin groan, yet the eccentric monk's formal bow spoke the joke in a different manner. He thought for a few moments before answering, 'the same abmount of bothe the lowest of dogs and the highest of kings." Once again Nine-Buddhas Mc-gee bowed. Once more he asked.
"How many Zen monks does it take to change the lightbulb in your mind?"
Tenzin's whole body tensed, as though he had just been slapped. His brain frantically searched for an answer to the perplexing question. but it was as though he was trying to breathe while holding his breath at the same time. He slumped, utterly confused. Nine-Buddhas Mc-gee continued,
"You have to rotate your mind boy. Nobody else can do it without slapping you around. All this meditation, the koan-study, shikatanza, the rock-gardens it's as though I were to turn the ladder while you hold the bulb. We can only do so much, eventually you have to teach yourself. The joy in this place comes when all meaning ceses and you keep finding enlightenment in all the pointless shit that goes on here."
Tenzin nodded, suddenly experiencing a profound thought...
"and what if my mind is bayonet capped?"
Nine-Buddhas Mc-gee laughed, clapping he said, "then eddison screw is already a piece of cake." He handed Tenzin a remote control, "Here. Now it is your turn to bug the abbot." He whispered pointing to the light socket. Tenzin was suddenly awakened.
"A flute without holes, is not a flute.
A donut without a hole, is a danish."
-Ty Webb, Caddyshack
"Do or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda, Star Wars
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps
of the wise. Seek what they sought."
-Basho
"As soon as you try to chase and grab
Zen, you've already stumbled past it."
--Zen Master Yuanwu, Zen Essence
Dongshan asked Yunju, "What are you doing?"
Yunju said, "I am making soy paste."
Dongshan, "Are you using some salt?"
Yunju said, "I turn some in."
Dongshan asked, "How does it taste."
Yunju said, "Done."
-Essential Zen
Bright bright!
bright bright bright!
bright bright!
bright bright bright!
bright bright, the moon.
-Myoe, Zen Poems
Error Message Haiku (http://www.budtempchi.org/errorhaiku.html)
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-Suzie Wagner
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
-Ian Hughe
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
-Peter Rothman
one time while i was taking a shower in gym class, this kid looked at me and said that his pet gopher was loosing all his hair and then he walked out of the showers and i was all alone thinking about hairless gophers and i got weirded out so i left the showers too
then then while i was putting my socks on after the shower, coach came up to me and said (coach is my friend tom), "it doesn't really count as cheating if you aren't really gay" and then he winked at me and walked out of the locker room with a grimace on his face and a bounce in his step...that's when i noticed that he had a tail.
***********
usually i'll sing a song about how i have this bunch of cocoanuts and they're standing in a row and whatnot, but one day i got hungry and ate all my cocoanuts, so now i have nothing to sing about. the moral of the story is: don't eat your own nuts.
***********
leprechauns are real....they're the fifth generation that resulted from the cross breeding of a leper colony and some escaped prison inmates.
***********
Even The Reaper Eats Hotdogs. this is scientifically proven by the neuro-chemical-pseudo-psycho-ectoplasmic residue left near all dead people, hotdog stands and the frozen foods isle of every supermarket in the nation.
(also, my hostess campaign idea)
(also, as a preface to this, you must know the evil nature of twinkies.
twinkies are the indestructable shells for evil in this world. they suck your
soul out of your body when you bite into them if you aren't careful.
for more info on twinkies, i think this site still exists:
http://www.twinkiesproject.com/
)
picture: a man standing on a corner, waiting for a bus to show up. another man walks up, "did you know that twinkies can suck your soul straight out of your body?" the man waiting for the bus says "really!?!? let me try!!!" and then he has his soul sucked out of his body....
"Twinkies: Suck your soul out of your body for safe keeping"
**********
picture: a man trying to write a song...he's so desperate, he says "i'd sell my soul if i could write a chart topping song..." then the devil appears and says "i can arrange that...muahahahaha!" then the scene freezes, and satan steps forward to give a testimonial...
"Hi, my name is Satan, Lucifer, The Dark Prince, etc...I frequently deal in the soul selling business...when i hear someone say, 'i'd sell my soul...' the first thing i do is grab my twinky....i only trust the most soul sucking-ist for my safe keeping of souls..."
"Twinkies: Two out of Three Demons prefer them"
**********
Picture: a man at a convenience store. he walks to the check out counter.
upon reaching the counter, he's faced with a dilemma: he has enough
money left for a treat, but he has to choose the twinkie or the Hoho.
he looks at the twinkie, and cheesy evil horror movie music with
screeching violins starts playing. he looks at the Hoho, and soft, angelic
heavenly music starts playing. he looks at the twinkie. the hoho, the
twinkie. the hoho. the twinkie, the hoho, the twinkie, the hoho.......
he grabs the Hoho.
"Hoho: The Safe Alternative"
Some say "something"
Some say "nothing"
but both something and nothing concur with "maybe"
Confused Dish said: "Movement is a good thing. It keeps
things ebbing and flowing as they are supposed to do. No
movement, stagnation, only brings a lot of pain and misery
in the long run. Not to mention, a horrible case of fungus
that is very difficult to get rid of. As Publilius Syrus once
said, "A rolling stone gathers no moss."
"I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the
universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do
is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and
be the ball." -Ty Webb, Caddyshack
are men projecting order on chaos because we just can't stand, that there is something we don't understand, somthing that is not in our control
or
are we just calling something chaos because we aren't able to understand it yet?
Quote from: pacifist elf-warriorare men projecting order on chaos because we just can't stand, that there is something we don't understand, somthing that is not in our control
or
are we just calling something chaos because we aren't able to understand it yet?
Yes
Quote from: Malaria test subject #777Quote from: pacifist elf-warriorare men projecting order on chaos because we just can't stand, that there is something we don't understand, somthing that is not in our control
or
are we just calling something chaos because we aren't able to understand it yet?
Yes
:roll: :roll: :roll:
Quote from: pacifist elf-warriorare men projecting order on chaos because we just can't stand, that there is something we don't understand, somthing that is not in our control
or
are we just calling something chaos because we aren't able to understand it yet?
like women. wasn't it a man who invented all this discorian hail eris thingie?
the reasons why women act as they do is often unknown to men. so it is just logical that god is ,for the discordians (most of us are men aren't we?), a crazy women.
but this is even more realistic to me than the christian god who seems to be a very very wise man who always chose the best way for the future. hihihi take a look at the world guys do you really believe it would turn out to be the right way?
actually, the "right way" (i never get tired of saying this) is completely
subjective. the world didn't "turn out" any specific way either. the world
would technically have to end for the world to have actually turned out
a particular way.
and, as i said, it's completely subjective and relative to your personal
vantage point on the whole thing. for example:
if one were to view the current state of affairs through the eyes of
Optimistic Realism, one could conclude that (a tenent of Optimism) that
this is the best that it could possibly be right now.
(one of the main tenents of Optimism is that things are always the best
they can possibly be)
or i could be wrong.
methinks you should probably read through some old greek mythology,
particularly any accounts you can find on the "Decision of Paris",
Kaos (the greek origin of Chaos), Kallisti (duh), and prolly a good long
sit, with a good view of your penial gland.
optimism is the belief that thigns could be worse, not so much that they are the best theycanbe. if theings were always teh best they could be, there would be no need to be an optimist.
oops...i think i wwas thinking of Optimistic Fatalism, not Optimistic
Realism....
What horab said would be Optimistic Realism...so, erm...scratch that...
Eris invented men. That's why we have nipples.
Quote from: St. Hugh, KSCEris invented men. That's why we have nipples.
Her little joke, eh?
hey! i like my nipples, so the joke's on her!
Quote from: Saint*Bastardhey! i like my nipples, so the joke's on her!
Oh...that means you haven't figured it out yet.
oh oh ho....
but i do lactate...
born with an extra X in my gene coding...
Anyone know anything aboot genetics, i'm an XXY (Klienfelter's Syndrome)..
all i need is a lil progesterone in my system and i starts a squirtin'!
Quote from: Saint*Bastardoh oh ho....
but i do lactate...
born with an extra X in my gene coding...
Anyone know anything aboot genetics, i'm an XXY (Klienfelter's Syndrome)..
all i need is a lil progesterone in my system and i starts a squirtin'!
Got milk?
not lately
Quote from: Saint*Bastardnot lately
Damn. Nevermind. Carry on.
give me the milk of a pregnant goat and i could prolly squirt a bit...
erm, the inuendo just flew out the door...
Oh, it flew somewhere, that's for sure. I think someone caught it though. I've heard that you can look for them by using an ultraviolet light.
one flew east, one flew west, one flew o'er the cuckoo's nest...
(http://members.aol.com/deadfenix3/myhomepage/megadance.gif)
DANCE!
:lol: :lol:
some say dance
some say no dance
but dance says fuck it all
What is the taste of one hand clapping?
Quote from: Joinee St. Trollax, ODDWhat is the taste of one hand clapping?
where is the clap in one hand testie?
"Zen teaches nothing; it merely enables us to wake
up and become aware. It does not teach, it points."
-D. T. Suzuki
"The no-mind not-thinks no-thoughts about no-things."
-The Buddha
"The epitome of the human realm is to be stuck in a
huge traffic jam of discursive thought."
-Chogyam Trungpa
"What time would it be if all the clocks were stopped?"
-Zen question
Quote from: EvilPoet"Zen teaches nothing; it merely enables us to wake
up and become aware. It does not teach, it points."
-D. T. Suzuki
"The no-mind not-thinks no-thoughts about no-things."
-The Buddha
"The epitome of the human realm is to be stuck in a
huge traffic jam of discursive thought."
-Chogyam Trungpa
"What time would it be if all the clocks were stopped?"
-Zen question
As long as we are moving spiritually, there will be forward and backward, one day you will learn how to move without ever moving.
~Eris~Now tell me what that has to say about the unborn, and how does it paint Hakuin's criticisms?
"High-minded mystics and pilgrams should have the eyes of Zen. When
they open their mouths, they exhaust the senses of a thousand sages,
make a thousand mental objects unbinding; father and mother both die,
guest and host do not stand. If you understand in this way, it is still just
a little bit of Zen perspective understanding, not the whole experience of
Zen. What is the whole experience? Go back and have some tea."
-Chih-men
Wuzu said, "A water buffalo goes through a louvered window. Head,
horns, and all four legs get through. Why can't his tail get through?"
"In the Heart of Chaos is a Seed of Dispare; In the Seed of Dispare is a
Gene of Joy; In the Gene of Joys there is a Base Compound of Hate;
In The Base Compound of Hate, there is a Molecule of Gaiety and Love;
In the Molecule of Gaiety and Love, there is a Fnord. Those who say
Otherwise are probably Correct."
-TechnoSage Festwo
"Commonality is the Downfall of Community. But one must consider the
exception of 'Difference as Commonality,' for one cannot be different
from another without the other also being different."
-TechnoSage Festwo
Explaining a koan to Satsu in a private interview, Hakuin once said, "Now do you understand?" She responded, "Would you please explain it again?" Just as he opened his mouth to speak she interrupted him with, "Thank you for your trouble," and bowed her way out of the room. Hakuin, looking crestfallen, exclaimed, "I've been overthrown by this terrible woman!" -Essential Zen
You may not find a drunken Buddha at the bottom of your bottle, but in your drunken stupor you may realize your innate Buddha-hood. Show me the sound of one hand clapping and I'll show you a sock with holes in it.
"Show me the sound of one hand clapping and I,Äôll pull
a purple monkey from the hole in my sock! Show me
the Upstart of one hand clapping and She may just tell
me to slap the crap out of you. Who knows?"
-St. Hugh's Rant #7
"Show me the sound of one hand clapping,
and I'll pull Shrodinger's Cat from my hat."
-Dishonest Book of Truths
The Cheese Stands Alone
Reveal Your Buddha Nature
Five Pounds of Guda
-Haiku for Cheese, TechnoSage Festwo
A wise Zen frog was explaining to the younger frogs the balance of
nature: "Do you see how that fly eats a gnat? And now (with a bite)
I eat the fly. It is all part of the great scheme of things."
"Isn't it bad to kill in order to live?" asked the thoughtful frog.
"It depends . . ." answered the wise frog just as a snake swallowed
the Zen frog in one chomp before the frog finished his sentence.
"Depends on what?" shouted the students.
"Depends on whether you're looking at things from the inside or outside,"
came the muffled response from inside the snake.
Source: Zen Fables For Today
Koan: Why do you seek the answer to thing question when you could be, you know, getting high or something?
-----
Consider this: GFJsfhjsgjUYURYTRsgjsgjfsgjj!!!!!1111111one
-----
-----
-----
Mantra: I am so damn bored.
-----
Up high!
Down low!
Oh, too slow!
-----
Mantra: She sells seashells by the seashore
Shrodinger's Cat is the sound of half of one hand clapping. What's the other?
what is the sound of half a hand jacking off?
Quote from: Penumbralwhat is the sound of half a hand jacking off?
You have to ask?
What's the sound of wanking with out hands, penis, or body?
Yoink!
Quote from: DoxxoYoink!
Damned!
::Shootinates Buddha. Takes enlightenment from his corpse. Hands enlightenment to Doxxo::
A certain Zen teacher celebrated with his students, drinking sake
and whiskey until after midnight, then rose next morning before
dawn.
Peevish, he expressed annoyance that his American students had
not risen in time to do zazen before morning service.
When they murmured that their sluggishness might be accounted
for by all the drink, the teacher snapped, "Sake is one thing, and
zazen is another! They have nothing to do with each other!"
Source: Essential Zen
Quote from: EvilPoetA certain Zen teacher celebrated with his students, drinking sake
and whiskey until after midnight, then rose next morning before
dawn.
Peevish, he expressed annoyance that his American students had
not risen in time to do zazen before morning service.
When they murmured that their sluggishness might be accounted
for by all the drink, the teacher snapped, "Sake is one thing, and
zazen is another! They have nothing to do with each other!"
Source: Essential Zen
I often feel like this after staying up til two am writing essays, getting up at 7, going to uni for 5 hours straight worth of lectures, then going to singing for 2 hours, then going to the pictures, before arriving home at midnight. Although I could also argue just as equally that the separation of events is a little bit ludochrist in itself, but it's a perceptual matter more than a physical one. Flexibility after all.
Quote from: DoxxoYoink!
Thats the sound of something being snatched.
Gettan used to say to his companions, "When you have a talking mouth,
you have no listening ears. When you have listening ears, you have no
talking mouth. Think about this carefully."
Source: Zen Antics
What is the sound of the donut hole thinking?
QuoteSt. Hugh, KSC
Tequilarius
Joined: 09 Apr 2003
Posts: 3546
Location: The Great Tequilarium
Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:38 am Post subject:
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::kills the Buddha again. Pulls enlightenment from her corpse. Hands enlightenment to Malaul::
::Zombifies the Buddha::
_________________
Kallisti!
"If you think the problem is bad now,
just wait until we've solved it."
23Cluster
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Malaul The CaffeinatrixXx
Coffee Terrorist
Joined: 28 Nov 2003
Posts: 2459
Location: In DS tree house having coffee with her and MistressDuMeany... Please pass the cream...
Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:49 am Post subject:
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youre just a killing machine arentcha tonight?
_________________
Chaos lives in the heart and soul of all children.
(and all cats)
When in doubt, fuck it
When not in doubt, GET in doubt
Back to top
St. Hugh, KSC
Tequilarius
Joined: 09 Apr 2003
Posts: 3546
Location: The Great Tequilarium
Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:59 am Post subject:
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::stabbinates half of Thailand and then passes out somewhere on some Pacific Island from tequila/coffee coma::
_________________
Kallisti!
"If you think the problem is bad now,
just wait until we've solved it."
23Cluster
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Malaul The CaffeinatrixXx
Coffee Terrorist
Joined: 28 Nov 2003
Posts: 2459
Location: In DS tree house having coffee with her and MistressDuMeany... Please pass the cream...
Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 2:37 pm Post subject:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
where is the caffeine patch whne you need it?
_________________
Chaos lives in the heart and soul of all children.
(and all cats)
When in doubt, fuck it
When not in doubt, GET in doubt
Back to top
EvilPoet
Five Star Saint
Joined: 05 Aug 2003
Posts: 736
Location: Approx 34.1¬? N 118.7¬? W
Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 6:13 pm Post subject:
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"If organized religion is the opium of the masses,
then disorganized religion is the marijuana of the
lunatic fringe." -Kerry Thornley
"If you think you know what the hell is
going on, you're probably full of shit."
-card on R.A.W.'s desk
Quote from: EvilPoet"If you think you know what the hell is
going on, you're probably full of shit."
-card on R.A.W.'s desk
"That card is so full of shit!"- Organized Moral People for a More Moral World
"Bullshit makes the flowers grow & that's beautiful."
-Principia Discordia
Quote from: EvilPoet"Bullshit makes the flowers grow & that's beautiful."
-Principia Discordia
"The Principia Discordia has been mispelled.
The correct spelling is ARF!
Sorry for any misunderstanding." - PD Society for True False Erudition
"I have great belief in the fact that whenever there is
chaos, it creates wonderful thinking. I consider chaos
a gift." -Septima Clark
Quote from: EvilPoet"I have great belief in the fact that whenever there is
chaos, it creates wonderful thinking. I consider chaos
a gift." -Septima Clark
"Those who speak of chaos are to be shunned.
-Chaos Mages Union, Local 23
"Chaos is a friend of mine."
-Bob Dylan
"What we imagine is order is merely
the prevailing form of chaos."
-Kerry Thornley
"Myth shows human life arising out of chaos,
cannibalism, and incest. Will it go back the
way it came?" -Mason Cooley
"I tell you: one must still have chaos in one to give birth
to a dancing star." -Friedrich Nietzsche
"There is serenity in Chaos. Seek ye the Eye of the Hurricane."
-Principia Discordia
Quote from: EvilPoet"Chaos is a friend of mine."
-Bob Dylan
"What we imagine is order is merely
the prevailing form of chaos."
-Kerry Thornley
"Myth shows human life arising out of chaos,
cannibalism, and incest. Will it go back the
way it came?" -Mason Cooley
"I tell you: one must still have chaos in one to give birth
to a dancing star." -Friedrich Nietzsche
"There is serenity in Chaos. Seek ye the Eye of the Hurricane."
-Principia Discordia
"The aforementioned people are all wrong, right, and possible.-Eris (the secret Pineal Hole Discussions 5:23)
"All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense." -A public service clarification by the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual Wisdom, Wilmette.
"Sense is meaningful, meaningless, and nonsense."
-Rabbinical Council for a Better Messiah than Jesus
Quote from: St. Hugh, KSCQuote from: EvilPoet"Chaos is a friend of mine."
-Bob Dylan
"What we imagine is order is merely
the prevailing form of chaos."
-Kerry Thornley
"Myth shows human life arising out of chaos,
cannibalism, and incest. Will it go back the
way it came?" -Mason Cooley
"I tell you: one must still have chaos in one to give birth
to a dancing star." -Friedrich Nietzsche
"There is serenity in Chaos. Seek ye the Eye of the Hurricane."
-Principia Discordia
"The aforementioned people are all wrong, right, and possible.
-Eris (the secret Pineal Hole Discussions 5:23)
the afforementioned people are full of shit, as am i -horab fibslager, soem guy
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Quote from: EvilPoetQuote from: St. Hugh, KSC"Sense is meaningful, meaningless, and nonsense."
-Rabbinical Council for a Better Messiah than Jesus
"Sens is meaningful to some, meaningless to others, and always without seed."
-Written on a bathroom wall in Bumfuck
"Mary Jane says "Plant Your Seeds. Keep Prices Down."
-Principia Discordia
"Many are the chihuahuas which were eaten by Mary Jane."-RCBMTJ
"WWJD? PGHANTAC.
What Would Jesus Do?
Probably Get His Ass Nailed to a Cross."-Baboons for the True Word of God
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"I have seen the chicken and it was installed by a baboon."
-Plumbers for a Pipeless Messiah
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Quote from: EvilPoetQuote from: St. Hugh, KSC"I have seen the chicken and it was installed by a baboon."
-Plumbers for a Pipeless Messiah
"We have seen the chicken cooking and it
looks like it's going to be very, very tasty."
-Chefs for a More Flavorful World
"We have seen the chefs and they are very tasty."-Cannibalized Liberation Front for Cleaner Kitchens
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"Onlooking is a tasty sauce."
-Flesh Eaters for Veganism
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Quote from: EvilPoet
-Flesh Eaters for Veganism
"Tasty sauces are our business!"
-R. Motto, Saucee Food Co.
"Meditation is food for the mind; meditation
time is suppertime for the mind and sleeping
is no good at suppertime." -Geshe-la
"Sleeping minds make good snacks for Tibetan monks."-Tenzin Gyatso (HH Dalai Lama; the secret tantras)
"The mind is a terrible thing to taste."-Some pseudo-Industrial group
never meditate in the middle of a deathmatch
-borther 1337 h4x0r
the management is not repsonisble for lost or stolen articles
-writing on the wall.
An ancient master said, "When you boil rice, know
that the water is your own life." -Essential Zen
The missing link between Zen and Discord?????
"Things are not as they seem
Nor are they otherwise"
~Sensei Ogui~
Things are not what they seem.
Nor are they otherwise.
Nor are they amply endowed with the tits of veracity.
"Things are not what they seem; nor are they otherwise. Realize it. Make it yours. Don't waste your time and energy. Your daily experiences are very important. View them as your practice or shugyo. Shugyo literally means to accomplish your life. Do not ignore whatever happens in your life. Each of us has life circumstances. Each of our lives are different. But one aspect of life which is true for each of us is that our life circumstances are changing. Nothing is the same day to day, even moment to moment. Does this sound scary? Do you wonder, "How can I control these changing circumstances?" You can't. Don't even try." -Sensie Ogui
"If you do not get it from yourself,
Where will you go for it?"
-Alan Watts
The world is a vast temple dedicated to chaos
~Voltaire~
"The world is an ocean of fools with a few islands of reason."
-Unknown
"Onward, Christian soldiers,
Children of the Beast!
Kill! Kill! Kill! For Jeee-sus!
Fight till you're deceased!
PRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFT!"
-Cosmic Trigger Vol. II
Quote from: EvilPoet"Onward, Christian soldiers,
Children of the Beast!
Kill! Kill! Kill! For Jeee-sus!
Fight till you're deceased!
PRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFT!"
-Cosmic Trigger Vol. II
>:D
Who shaved Bhodidharma's beard? More importantly, what did they do with the hair!? :shock:
Quote from: Joinee St. Trollax, ODDWho shaved Bhodidharma's beard? More importantly, what did they do with the hair!?
Mumon's comment: If you want to study Zen, you must study it with
your heart. When you attain realization, it must be true realization.
You yourself must have the face of the great Bodhidharma to see him.
Just one such glimpse will be enough. But if you say you met him, you
never saw him at all.
One should not discuss a dream
In front of a simpleton.
Why has Bodhidharma no beard?
What an absurd question!
Quote from: EvilPoetQuote from: Joinee St. Trollax, ODDWho shaved Bhodidharma's beard? More importantly, what did they do with the hair!?
Mumon's comment: If you want to study Zen, you must study it with
your heart. When you attain realization, it must be true realization.
You yourself must have the face of the great Bodhidharma to see him.
Just one such glimpse will be enough. But if you say you met him, you
never saw him at all.
One should not discuss a dream
In front of a simpleton.
Why has Bodhidharma no beard?
What an absurd question!
I have never been Bodhidharma... but I have been Waku an...
and I cried too...
he who attains realization, realizes there was nothign to realize.
this is the truth, all lies are fit for kings, all kings are not fit for dog meat.
if you upon walking down the path, meet another of your kind, grab the nearest stick and wack them good. perhaps idle passers by will throw you both change for the bus.
-whoelse?
"Meeting a Zen master on the road,
Face him neither with words nor silence.
Give him an uppercut
And you will be called one who
understands Zen."
"Before I learned the art, a punch was just a punch, and a kick, just a
kick. After I learned the art, a punch was no longer a punch, a kick, no
longer a kick. Now that I understand the art, a punch is just a punch
and a kick is just a kick." -Bruce Lee
i will eat everything
-me
Quote from: Mighty Cthulu of R'ylehi will eat everything
-me
Bon Appetit! (http://killerbutterfly.com/pics/chef2.gif)
Quote from: Richard McLean, author of Zen Fables For Today,Imagine Buddhism as an elegant buffet with these choices:
Just cruising the dessert tray
Enjoy the amusing anecdotes as well as chomping on the
rich nuggets of wisdom. Leaves a lingering sweet taste.
Digging into the salad bar
Discover pragmatic solutions to everyday problems. Find
old ideas that are as fresh as tomatoes picked in the field
that morning.
Pigging out on favorite pastas
Put into use tested techniques for modifying consciousness
and behavior. Have adventures as exciting as finding a new
Italian restaurant.
Filling up on brain food
Find insights into different systems of philosophy and thought.
Discover that Eastern thought is a different from Western
thought as seafood is from meat.
Dining on heavy-duty meats
Tackle new ways of dealing with profound questions such as:
Who am I? What is my place in the universe? And how do I
reconcile with my own mortality? Protein stuff!
Quote from: EvilPoetQuote from: Mighty Cthulu of R'ylehi will eat everything
-me
Bon Appetit! (http://killerbutterfly.com/pics/chef2.gif)
Quote from: Richard McLean, author of Zen Fables For Today,Imagine Buddhism as an elegant buffet with these choices:
Just cruising the dessert tray
Enjoy the amusing anecdotes as well as chomping on the
rich nuggets of wisdom. Leaves a lingering sweet taste.
Digging into the salad bar
Discover pragmatic solutions to everyday problems. Find
old ideas that are as fresh as tomatoes picked in the field
that morning.
Pigging out on favorite pastas
Put into use tested techniques for modifying consciousness
and behavior. Have adventures as exciting as finding a new
Italian restaurant.
Filling up on brain food
Find insights into different systems of philosophy and thought.
Discover that Eastern thought is a different from Western
thought as seafood is from meat.
Dining on heavy-duty meats
Tackle new ways of dealing with profound questions such as:
Who am I? What is my place in the universe? And how do I
reconcile with my own mortality? Protein stuff!
show off!
...btw former avatars were better
Quote from: Den Sorte Dragen...btw former avatars were better
So far, this is my favorite. I guess there is no accounting for tastes is there?
Quote from: EvilPoetQuote from: Den Sorte Dragen...btw former avatars were better
So far, this is my favorite. I guess there is no accounting for tastes is there?
This is also my favorite.
I was just about to tell you how much I like this new avatar of yours.
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomQuote from: EvilPoetQuote from: Den Sorte Dragen...btw former avatars were better
So far, this is my favorite. I guess there is no accounting for tastes is there?
This is also my favorite.
I was just about to tell you how much I like this new avatar of yours.
Damned Evil Poets!- Tsang of Ganja
I just finished reading A Handful of Zen by Camden Benares, and I was wondering if there was anything else by him?
Quote from: EvilPoetQuote from: Den Sorte Dragen...btw former avatars were better
So far, this is my favorite. I guess there is no accounting for tastes is there?
Depends on whether or not you believe in the last judgement
i liek that avatar. reminds me of that chick in fight club. mmm mmmm mmm. :mrgreen:
Quote from: EvilPoetQuote from: Den Sorte Dragen...btw former avatars were better
So far, this is my favorite. I guess there is no accounting for tastes is there?
i like it too, I use this one on my LJ account, so when I saw it posted here, I was like
wait, I thought I had the coffee cats here
I got confused
good job
Quote from: horabi liek that avatar. reminds me of that chick in fight club. mmm mmmm mmm. :mrgreen:
I thought that too actually, I look at the pic, ans all I can hear is some rusty smoky voice say slide
A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches does not.
I tell you: one must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing star. -Friedrich Nietzsche
Damn, that sounds painful! -Me
Quote from: Dr RockI just finished reading A Handful of Zen by Camden Benares, and I was wondering if there was anything else by him?
Yes -
Zen Without Zen Masters and
Common Sense Tarot.
"Rivers know this: There is no hurry. We shall get there some day."
-Pooh's Little Instruction Book
"Smitty described the following voting system to Omar: Each candidate would have a yes or a no box after his or her name, allowing each voter a choice between voting for a candidate or voting against another one. Each negative vote would cancel a positive vote. This, Smitty explained, would prevent a politician who was elected from assuming he had a mandate just because a few voters found him a better gamble. When he asked Omar what he thought of the system, Omar replied, "I never vote. It only encourages them." -Camden Benares, Zen Without Zen Masters
Quote from: EvilPoet"Smitty described the following voting system to Omar: Each candidate would have a yes or a no box after his or her name, allowing each voter a choice between voting for a candidate or voting against another one. Each negative vote would cancel a positive vote. This, Smitty explained, would prevent a politician who was elected from assuming he had a mandate just because a few voters found him a better gamble. When he asked Omar what he thought of the system, Omar replied, "I never vote. It only encourages them." -Camden Benares, Zen Without Zen Masters
not to mention that there would be far more negative votes than positive ones... rendering most politicians as anti-candidates...
"Life is a combination of magic and pasta."
-Federico Fellini
"The owl flapped its wings again, muttering these words:
It's hard to be a glassy cat-- No cat can be more hard than that;
She's so transparent, every act Is clear to us, and that's a fact."
-L Frank Baum-
"You cannot see the back of your own head, no matter how intently you stare into the mirror or how quickly you turn around. Even the most clear-sighted have blind spots. These places to which we ourselves are blind are often astonishingly visible to others. The sword of self-knowledge, the ability to see oneself clearly, spans the abyss of ignorance. Below its stretched length blaze the swirling fires of ego while fogs of delusion and self-deception flow from every side." -Essential Sufism
"The elements of a true theory of poetry are contained in the notion that the poet is inspired. Genius is often said to be unconscious, or spontaneous, or a gift of nature: that 'genius is akin to madness' is a popular aphorism of modern times. The greatest strength is observed to have an element of limitation. Sense or passion are too much for the 'dry light' of intelligence which mingles with them and becomes discoloured by them. Imagination is often at war with reason and fact. The concentration of the mind on a single object, or on a single aspect of human nature, overpowers the orderly perception of the whole."
-Plato-
if someone farts in crowded room, confucious say; the first one who smelt it, dealt it.
Quote from: EvilPoet"You cannot see the back of your own head, no matter how intently you stare into the mirror or how quickly you turn around. Even the most clear-sighted have blind spots. These places to which we ourselves are blind are often astonishingly visible to others. The sword of self-knowledge, the ability to see oneself clearly, spans the abyss of ignorance. Below its stretched length blaze the swirling fires of ego while fogs of delusion and self-deception flow from every side." -Essential Sufism
(http://i.keen.com/listingphotos/1654454-31322.jpg)
Really? Hmmm......I'm looking at the back of my head right now. :twisted:
PS: Horab, that was just funny!!
Conceive a sphere constructed with the earth at it center, and imagine it surface to pass through Sirius, which is 8.8 light years distant from the earth... Then imagine this enormous sphere to be so packed with microbes that in every cubic millimetre millions and millions of these diminutive animalcula are present. Now conceive these microbes to be unpacked and so distributed singly along a straight line that every two microbes are as far distant from each other as Sirius is from us... Conceive the long line thus fixed by all the microbes at the diameter of a circle, and imagine its circumference to be calculated by multiplying it diameter by Pi to 100 decimal places. Then, in the case of a circle of this enormous magnitude even, the circumference so calculated would not vary from the real circumference by a millionth part of a millimeter.
This example will suffice to show that the calculation of Pi to 100 or 500 decimal places is wholly useless.
-- Hermann Schubart, a mathematics professor from Hamburg in 1889
"In a discussion Bert said that reality can be described in many ways,
but the description that an individual accepts is the one that conforms
to that individual's preconceptions. Omar expanded on this by defining
objective reality as the fantasy that has recieved the majority vote and
subjective reality as a personal fantasy. Mal concluded the discussion by
saying, "Reality is the original Rorschach." -Zen Without Zen Masters
The chipmunk is the larval form of the Bengal tiger.
-- Peter Floyd
I love the world and if I have to sue for custody,
I will sue for custody
- They Might Be Giants
Every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that the squirrel is the most favored messanger of Eris!
-The Book of Revelatoriousness
"Slide!"
-The Penguin
A Zen Fable:
Two Penguins were sitting on the edge of the ice. the first said to the
second: "Do you think there are any seals swimming right now, waiting
to eat us as soon as we dip into the water?" to which the second one
replied: "Of course not...here, i got this shiney new tuxedo for you...it's
a new and improved Swimming Tuxedo." "thank you" said the first
penguin. then the first penguin dove head long into the water and was
snatched up by the seals.
a passerby penguin asked why the second penguin would do such a thing.
"Life Insurance," said the first penguin, "Is no insurance that you will stay
alive. But it will make sure that i can build a bridge to avoid those damn
seals."
::bump::