HAIL ERIS
did you hear that?
listen carefully...
ALL HAIL DISCORDIA
...it might be the last time you ever hear it.
By the time you depart from this world and drink the punch at limbo peak, Eris may be lost and forgotten by the 21st century. She'll wait for another era, when humanity won't cast her aside like an uppity bitch. Those grayfaces the Romans did it. And we're on that track right now.
It's ironic, really. Thanks the the incredible Chaos (read: Order + Disorder) of the Information Age (read: information + misinformation), there are more Discordians & kin than there ever have been. And people, in their blessed creativity, are taking Discordja in directions that Mal and Omar and RAW couldn't have imagined on their strangest trip ever. And yet over the years we have slowly drifted from the lunatic fringe into the lunatic margin. In a mere moment we may be off the lunatic all together. What has HAPPENED to Discordja? We should be exploding like fireworks filled with whoopee cushions but we're so unheard of, so fringe, we barely even exist!
I'm not saying we should get all mainstream or some shit. I'm just saying we would all benefit if we could pool our resources so we can all accomplish our goals. Whether they're putting up absurd flyers or drawing moustaches on movie posters or spreading some awesome meme bomb or whatever it is you want to do, you could do it on a bigger cooler scale if you had help. Or maybe you don't have any good ideas but you've read the Principia and Illuminatus! and Fight Club too many times to let life pass by without giving it a violent shaking.
There's hope for popes. Scope this dope:
Let's say your episkopos or your cabal or your congregation or your self wants to accomplish something or other, and you don't have the resources to do it yourselfves personally. Let's say you're all hot and bothered about Operation: Mindfuck and you want to drop your meme bomb in a wider radius than you have access to. Or whatever your project is. Be creative.
You write it up as a GOLDEN APPLE SEED MISSION. Write what it's about, and tell people how they can participate. Make it FUN. Then, you post it to the interfnord or hang it up on your wall or mail it to your friends or whatever. GASM is our new code word. It means Assistance Requested. It means you don't mind having your shit fucked up by a bunch of Discordian asshats.
Because look, lunatic fringe joke religions are a dime a dozen deez days. And we Discordjians are gonna get left behind and forgotten unless we adapt to the times, people. In the olden days of Discord, they passed the word around with words of mouth and pamphlets and stuff. Now it's the Internet Robot Future and the whole world has its digital ear pressed to your gibbering mouth. We should be flourishing in this age. They say Discordians should stick apart, but people are treating that like a RULE. And as a rule, Discordians break ja rules!
So be on the lookout. Operation Mindfuck has mutated after having sex with the internet. The OMGASM is coming. You can help too. You just gotta
A) Help out people who post Golden Apple Seed Missions.
B) Be Active (whatever that means for you). Make your activities so exciting or cool or hilarious that others want to join you. Then let the fnordosphere know about it so that they can play too.
This idea will actually work if you (you PERSONALLY) actually participate, and don't just read this thing you're reading right now and go "Hm, that sounds like a cool idea, I wonder if it'll actually work."
kaBLAMMO
Did you hear that?
It's taking off RIGHT NOW!
No, I'm serious-- look outside RIGHT NOW!
hahahah holy shit
When you see it, you'll shit grins.
Hail Eris
so for some insomniac reason I wrote that at 4:30 AM. Target audience is people who hang out on other Discordian websites. Feedback requested.
My to-do list for it (this is mostly a note to self)
-add a pointer towards discoflux or some shit where people can post GASMs.
note #2
re: OMGASM
the project is the prefix.
So my "put moustaches on everything" project is MOUSTACHEGASM
the anti-Ron Paul propaganda is called PAULGASM
the hit some stranger with a canoe paddle project is called OARGASM
real real tired bed time now zzzzzzzzzzzzz
cram i LOVE it!
:mittens:
didn't think a whole lot of the name of the Golden Apple Seed Mission, until you showed what it abbreviates to!
Actually, this is a golden age for Eris. This is when she really gets her groove on.
She'll be wading in blood for decades.
Evilgasm.
Hategasm.
Rogergasm (redundant, I know).
Huckabeegasm.
:fap:
Epic win there, Cram. Recruitment efforts are now N00bgasm.
i think we could play to people's sexual frustrations more, and that might make it more attractive.
i like your rap, cram. you work(ed) sales?
This is fantastic in one way, and terrifying in another.
But if it leads to an end to my dry spell I'm all for it!
Good essay for the recently initiated.
Quote from: LMNO on January 07, 2008, 03:36:12 PM
Good essay for the recently initiated.
Seconded.
If only for this bit of wisdom:
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on January 06, 2008, 09:53:53 AM
They say Discordians should stick apart, but people are treating that like a RULE. And as a rule, Discordians break ja rules!
Sounds like a win to me!!!
GASMs are so much cooler then any form of ISMS.
Viva Liberation! Viva Revolution! Death to the Conformists! Death to the Chesterfields! Burn down the Establishment!
Don't worry when the revolution comes, we will all live like kings I say. Like kings!
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on January 06, 2008, 09:53:53 AM
Now it's the Internet Robot Future and the whole world has its digital ear pressed to your gibbering mouth.
Oh, and jetpacks (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THEcWrznicY).
holy shit, Jet Packs!
This reminds me...assuming the power doesn't go down again (not exactly a given at the moment) I'll scout out 10 or so Discordian websites and drop off the addresses in the O:MF forum.
Quote from: Cain on January 15, 2008, 02:09:00 PM
This reminds me...assuming the power doesn't go down again (not exactly a given at the moment) I'll scout out 10 or so Discordian websites and drop off the addresses in the O:MF forum.
Good idea... we should figure out which we already have active members in and which we need to infiltra... err join. Also, should we have an area in specific to direct people to? Maybe a subforum with sticky essays that we want these people to read, in order to understand what we're planning on doing? I think that Welcome blurb I wrote a while back would be good to modify slightly and post, along with your infowar essays, maybe some of the applicable essays from BiP and I thought I might do a couple essays 'expounding' on some Discordian Lore as it applies to us... maybe ;-)
Also I have a recruitment one I'm working on (how-to).
Quote from: Apikoros II on January 10, 2008, 11:20:45 AM
GASMs are so much cooler then any form of ISMS.
Phrase coined.
We have a winner.
Quote from: Ratatosk on January 15, 2008, 02:58:05 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 15, 2008, 02:09:00 PM
This reminds me...assuming the power doesn't go down again (not exactly a given at the moment) I'll scout out 10 or so Discordian websites and drop off the addresses in the O:MF forum.
Good idea... we should figure out which we already have active members in and which we need to infiltra... err join. Also, should we have an area in specific to direct people to? Maybe a subforum with sticky essays that we want these people to read, in order to understand what we're planning on doing? I think that Welcome blurb I wrote a while back would be good to modify slightly and post, along with your infowar essays, maybe some of the applicable essays from BiP and I thought I might do a couple essays 'expounding' on some Discordian Lore as it applies to us... maybe ;-)
Also I have a recruitment one I'm working on (how-to).
I'm hoping our eventual aim would be to make a Discordian version of the
Encyclopedia of the Afghan Jihad (an 8000 page reference guide to terrorism, written by Al-Qai'da's top operatives and circulated among all recruits via CDs) so I totally agree with this idea. Cram's idea to use the Wiki, as mentioned in the TFY,S forum, to create a stable base of knowledge which can get everyone 'up to speed' quickly is an excellent idea.
That was part of the larger project I didn't want to mention before, because it would be a lot of work.