OK.... So I was writing a post for my blog about the Trilogy (Been reading it again and as you might see from my post in Principia Discussion, it has been on my mind) and I had an idea. So again, if been done, yah yah I shoulda searched the post but I am a rather lazy man.... Here goes.... Lets cast Illuminatus Trilogy:The Movie... A few from my head, love to see what others think... from the Major Characters to the most minor---(Oh, so you all know, if Hollywood ever did do this, I am confident they'd fuck it up but what the hell)
Padre Pederastia----John Waters (who also directs)
Joe Malik---- Gary Sinise
Simon Moon---- Johnny Depp
Markoff Chaney---The Angry Little Person that Will Ferrell fights in Elf or Warwick Davis
Hagbard Celine---It's a stretch but I believe in him: Artie Lange
Squirrel in Beginning and End---The one with the big nuts from fark.com
Howard----Flipper or Pauly Shore (Shore has range)
AMA---Green Day? That's a toughie
Saul Goodman---Judd Hirsch
Barney Muldoon----Dennis Leary
Well, I gotta go to bed but that should be a good start
tom green should totally play hagbard.
Strangely enough, I had also thought of John Waters as the Padre.
excuse me. i think you meant to say,
Padre Pederastia----Tom Cruise
Joe Malik---- Tom Cruise
Simon Moon---- Tom Cruise
Markoff Chaney---Tom Cruise
Hagbard Celine---Tom Cruise
Squirrel in Beginning and End---Tom Cruise
Howard----Tom Cruise
AMA---Tom Cruise
Saul Goodman---Tom Cruise
Barney Muldoon----Tom Cruise
Quote from: vexati0n on January 09, 2008, 04:03:56 AM
excuse me. i think you meant to say,
Padre Pederastia----Tom Cruise
Joe Malik---- Tom Cruise
Simon Moon---- Tom Cruise
Markoff Chaney---Tom Cruise
Hagbard Celine---Tom Cruise
Squirrel in Beginning and End---Tom Cruise
Howard----Tom Cruise
AMA---Tom Cruise
Saul Goodman---Tom Cruise
Barney Muldoon----Tom Cruise
Are we looking for ways to maximize Tom Cruise's ability to make us sick of him?
Tom Cruise is now second in command of the CoS.
Allegedly.
Quote from: Cain on January 09, 2008, 05:51:00 AM
Tom Cruise is now second in command of the CoS.
Allegedly.
That rumor is spread by rogue Thetans. By attempting to propogate this lie, you are displaying an inward desire to be cleansed of these Thetans, restrained by your uncooperative conscious mind. Please step into the Dislocation Chamber.
hagbard should be george clooney.
You should all die a slow, painful death.
All I know is that we are all going to die but I do prefer quick and painless, hopefully eaten by Cthulu, Sharks or Jenna Jameson. She's a cannibal.
Have you seen her lately? I'd choose the sharks, seriously.
Sadly yes, and even more sadly, I agree.
Quote from: Apikoros II on January 09, 2008, 02:40:56 AM
Padre Pederastia----John Waters (who also directs)
Joe Malik---- Gary Sinise
Simon Moon---- Johnny Depp
Markoff Chaney---The Angry Little Person that Will Ferrell fights in Elf or Warwick Davis
Hagbard Celine---It's a stretch but I believe in him: Artie Lange
Squirrel in Beginning and End---The one with the big nuts from fark.com
Howard----Flipper or Pauly Shore (Shore has range)
AMA---Green Day? That's a toughie
Saul Goodman---Judd Hirsch
Barney Muldoon----Dennis Leary
I think these are pretty dead on actually. Except in my imagination, Hagbard Celine is played by the sea captain from the Simpsons.
Since Celine is a metaphor for RAW himself, I also picture RAW as the sea captain from the Simpsons.
I'd cast the voice of Howard with oh let's say David Hyde Pierce. Pauly would be okay but I'd have trouble listening to him recite dolphin epic poetry. Maybe that's the point?
Green Day could do the AMA if they got really cleaned up. They've got that mainstream-rebel look. But isn't there a chick in the AMA?
And as Harry Coin - how about Benicio Del Toro?
Arrrr, don't be mistaken
tha map for tha territory ARRRRR
/
(http://www.xtreme-simpsons.de/pics/grabpics/big/captain01.gif)
NB4 Roger...
UNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!
No, for Howard, I want to paint Pauly Shore Blue and CGI Fins onto him... not just the voice.
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on January 09, 2008, 03:30:07 PM
Arrrr, don't be mistaken
tha map for tha territory ARRRRR
/
(http://www.xtreme-simpsons.de/pics/grabpics/big/captain01.gif)
Thats so beautiful im considering getting it as a tattoe. All over my body in a lattice.
no but in the book they describe hagbard as looking like a kind of actor (forgot which), assuming that guy's dead by now, i thought george clooney looked most like that (if sean connery wouldn't have been ancient by now i'd have chosen him)
Quote from: triple zero on January 09, 2008, 09:32:22 PM
no but in the book they describe hagbard as looking like a kind of actor (forgot which), assuming that guy's dead by now, i thought george clooney looked most like that (if sean connery wouldn't have been ancient by now i'd have chosen him)
This guy:
(http://img245.imageshack.us/img245/2966/celineiz0.jpg)
And, I agree with you about George Clooney. I think he would make a very wry Celine.
when i googled that guy he looked more like sean connery kinda.
but i'm really really bad at recognizing actors and saying they look like somebody everybody always disagrees.
I always imagined Hagbard as being an Indian. We should tap some underutilized talent in Bollywood.
That's like saying we should tap some underutilized talent in Hollywood. There is no talent in Hollywood, and most likely not in Bollywood either.
either way, making the illuminatus movie a bollywood project sounds like a great plan!
Would HAVE to be a musical.
The hills are alive with the sound of music one hand clapping
With songs they have sung for a thousand years
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music one hand clapping
My heart pineal gland wants to sing every song it hears
Stella = Oprah
how would you somehow manage to get the whole book in the film? or would you do it as an actual trilogy?
i was going to say that it would never get made due to all the plot lines...
but uh pirates of the Caribbean had more...
When they did the stage adaptation they had 5 23 minute acts, and got most of it in. Of course, because it was on the stage, certain parts were technically impossible and so skipped. If they did a film, I'm sure they could work it as a trilogy, what with CGI etc
if theres any german people on the board the could make the film and not have to worry about the money side. i think.
i remember reading about how uwe bull (the guy who made the atrocious game adaptation to film. i.e bloodrayne and other stuff) still managed to make films is that the German government subsidies him due to the minority of German films or something. its like if the film doesn't make any money back the government pays the rest. something along those lines.
so yknw German people out there..
Celine should be Michael Richards.
I'm going to fucking slap the jackass who bumped this.
also:
Hagbard Celine = Daniel Day Lewis. DRAAAIIIINNNNNNAAAGGGGEEEEE!!!!!!
I cannot believe that this got bumped--- I love the fact, based on the responses from 2008, that you can see how discussion of the trilogy went from still acceptable to literature non grata... Alas, the vagaries of the internet, alas!