Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on February 25, 2004, 06:23:33 AM

Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on February 25, 2004, 06:23:33 AM
Purple Monkey Mafia/Cabal Statement One:

It doesn,Äôt matter whether you believe in magic or not. We will use magic to subvert everything you stand for. We will dream walk you. We will enchant you. We will cast spells upon you. We will manifest your own desires solidly in front of you through the use of your own secret memories. What right have we to invade you like this? Well, what right have you to invade the quality of our air through driving your polluting vehicles? What right do you have to lower the standard of our lives by your incessant breeding of yuppie children who over-consume? We are the conspiracy that can not be jailed, assassinated, or silenced because your authorities have not the tools nor the means to fight us on this battlefield. If you think this is a Discordian trick or a joke of some kind, good. And may the gods bless you on the day you realize that it is not. Trying to stop chaos is like pissing in the wind, it may make you smugly happy, but it will not do anything else.

We are the ignorant bastard children who have stumbled upon the wisdom which you can never attain. This pisses you off to no end, even if we offer that wisdom to you for free, because it is not wisdom you want, but the acclaim you feel is your due for having wisdom. And that is why wisdom is denied you. If only you knew the powers inherent in foolery. You can keep lying to yourself. The multiverse is not fooled.

Your system of possibilities is not a prerequisite for our actions. Your beliefs will not stop our magical subversion. Your control will not stop our laughter as we watch your system eat itself and you with it. Don,Äôt think you can run and hide, for you will only get exhausted, and we will still be there, inside your deepest thoughts, subverting them against you. We are the chaotic children of Eris and have always been here threatening and overthrowing your tepid systems of domination. We have put up with you for long enough to allow you to paint yourselves into a corner. But we tolerate your ruination of our planet no longer. If you think this is a declaration of war, you are right. Occult assaults on everyone of your institutions will become more common from this day forth. If you think this is some surrealist joke, remember it. In the future you may fucking well wish it was.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Guido Finucci on February 25, 2004, 06:28:33 AM
Dutifully read and tucked away in the quotes file.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Horab Fibslager on March 01, 2004, 09:16:46 PM
my magic comes with cooler special effects.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: UndercoverLazyHugh on March 23, 2004, 06:53:10 AM
Damn.  I can't believe we actually wrote that and posted it in bar bathrooms.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Trollax on March 23, 2004, 06:58:30 AM
Quote from: UndercoverLazyHughDamn.  I can't believe we actually wrote that and posted it in bar bathrooms.
I'm thinking of trying to start a cabal on campus again

but with simpler, more-ostenatatious advertising...

like just A3 posters with sacred chaos done with an ink brush style and stuff...
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: maddcat0 on May 27, 2004, 12:21:53 AM
Quote from: St. Hugh, KSCTrying to stop chaos is like pissing in the wind, it may make you smugly happy, but it will not do anything else.

..and sometimes the wind will blow that piss right back at ya!  :lol:
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Trollax on May 27, 2004, 07:57:46 AM
Quote from: maddcat0
Quote from: St. Hugh, KSCTrying to stop chaos is like pissing in the wind, it may make you smugly happy, but it will not do anything else.

..and sometimes the wind will blow that piss right back at ya!  :lol:

Which is most-disgusting and unhygenic.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Guido Finucci on May 27, 2004, 08:00:53 AM
<cough>
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Guido Finucci on May 27, 2004, 08:01:21 AM
Quote from: St. Trollax, ODD
Quote from: maddcat0..and sometimes the wind will blow that piss right back at ya!  :lol:
Which is most-disgusting and unhygenic.

Unhygenic? Urine? No way - it is incredibly sterile unless you get an especially nasty disease. In general, it is less hygenic to get splashed with tap water than it is to get splashed with urine, especially if it is your own.

Disgusting? Well, you might have a bit of a point there but we do live in a world of shit, piss and blood.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 27, 2004, 08:45:55 AM
My magic consists of outbursts of violence and foul language.

It ain't much, but it keeps the yahoos away from my door.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Bella on May 27, 2004, 10:44:35 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerMy magic consists of outbursts of violence and foul language.

It ain't much, but it keeps the yahoos away from my door.
Sounds like highly effective magic to me.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 28, 2004, 06:49:50 AM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerMy magic consists of outbursts of violence and foul language.

It ain't much, but it keeps the yahoos away from my door.
Sounds like highly effective magic to me.

A useful trick I learned in the army was The Slap.

It's a technique by which you can knock down anyone, of any size, with a simple slap.  It does them no permanent harm, but it's funny as hell.

Now, THAT'S magic.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Bella on May 28, 2004, 06:51:19 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerMy magic consists of outbursts of violence and foul language.

It ain't much, but it keeps the yahoos away from my door.
Sounds like highly effective magic to me.

A useful trick I learned in the army was The Slap.

It's a technique by which you can knock down anyone, of any size, with a simple slap.  It does them no permanent harm, but it's funny as hell.

Now, THAT'S magic.
I wanna learn that kinda magic.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 28, 2004, 06:55:36 AM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerMy magic consists of outbursts of violence and foul language.

It ain't much, but it keeps the yahoos away from my door.
Sounds like highly effective magic to me.

A useful trick I learned in the army was The Slap.

It's a technique by which you can knock down anyone, of any size, with a simple slap.  It does them no permanent harm, but it's funny as hell.

Now, THAT'S magic.
I wanna learn that kinda magic.

Simple.  Slap them low on the side of the head.  Position it so that your thumb strikes JUST in front of their ear (at the base of the earlobe), and that your cupped fingers strike them on the neck JUST behind the ear.  This messes up their inner ear for a second, they lose their balance, and fall down.  Done properly, it makes a HELL of a SLAP noise.

Do NOT strike the actual ear itself.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Bella on May 28, 2004, 06:58:22 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerMy magic consists of outbursts of violence and foul language.

It ain't much, but it keeps the yahoos away from my door.
Sounds like highly effective magic to me.

A useful trick I learned in the army was The Slap.

It's a technique by which you can knock down anyone, of any size, with a simple slap.  It does them no permanent harm, but it's funny as hell.

Now, THAT'S magic.
I wanna learn that kinda magic.

Simple.  Slap them low on the side of the head.  Position it so that your thumb strikes JUST in front of their ear (at the base of the earlobe), and that your cupped fingers strike them on the neck JUST behind the ear.  This messes up their inner ear for a second, they lose their balance, and fall down.  Done properly, it makes a HELL of a SLAP noise.

Do NOT strike the actual ear itself.
Cool, thanks. 8)
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 28, 2004, 06:58:59 AM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerMy magic consists of outbursts of violence and foul language.

It ain't much, but it keeps the yahoos away from my door.
Sounds like highly effective magic to me.

A useful trick I learned in the army was The Slap.

It's a technique by which you can knock down anyone, of any size, with a simple slap.  It does them no permanent harm, but it's funny as hell.

Now, THAT'S magic.
I wanna learn that kinda magic.

Simple.  Slap them low on the side of the head.  Position it so that your thumb strikes JUST in front of their ear (at the base of the earlobe), and that your cupped fingers strike them on the neck JUST behind the ear.  This messes up their inner ear for a second, they lose their balance, and fall down.  Done properly, it makes a HELL of a SLAP noise.

Do NOT strike the actual ear itself.
Cool, thanks. 8)

My pleasure, ma'am.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Trollax on May 28, 2004, 07:00:28 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerMy magic consists of outbursts of violence and foul language.

It ain't much, but it keeps the yahoos away from my door.
Sounds like highly effective magic to me.

A useful trick I learned in the army was The Slap.

It's a technique by which you can knock down anyone, of any size, with a simple slap.  It does them no permanent harm, but it's funny as hell.

Now, THAT'S magic.
I wanna learn that kinda magic.

Simple.  Slap them low on the side of the head.  Position it so that your thumb strikes JUST in front of their ear (at the base of the earlobe), and that your cupped fingers strike them on the neck JUST behind the ear.  This messes up their inner ear for a second, they lose their balance, and fall down.  Done properly, it makes a HELL of a SLAP noise.

Do NOT strike the actual ear itself.

>:D  >:D  >:D  >:D  :mrgreen:
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 28, 2004, 07:04:03 AM
Practice, practice, practice.

Do it wrong, you're likely to get your ass kicked.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Trollax on May 28, 2004, 07:08:11 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerPractice, practice, practice.

Do it wrong, you're likely to get your ass kicked.

well all I need is a willing dummy... and I do mean dummy  :lol:
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Efrim on May 28, 2004, 10:02:09 AM
Excellent Hugh. I´ve got to get around to writing that manifesto of mine...
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Bella on May 28, 2004, 06:20:30 PM
Everything Hugh writes is excellent.
And I look forward to reading your manifesto, Efrim.
Hurry and write it, please.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Efrim on May 28, 2004, 07:12:18 PM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomEverything Hugh writes is excellent.
And I look forward to reading your manifesto, Efrim.
Hurry and write it, please.

The pressure is on....

love your Ani quote by the way.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Bella on May 28, 2004, 07:49:58 PM
Quote from: Efrim
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomEverything Hugh writes is excellent.
And I look forward to reading your manifesto, Efrim.
Hurry and write it, please.

The pressure is on....

love your Ani quote by the way.
Thanks, Ani is great, huh?

No pressure.......just hurry and write it when you're ready to.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Efrim on May 28, 2004, 07:59:24 PM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomThanks, Ani is great, huh?

No pressure.......just hurry and write it when you're ready to.


Sure. I need to round up a few pieces of information first. I´ve already started. Yeah, Ani is great. I´m a rabid fan, I own all the offcial releases and several bootlegs. Seen her 4 times.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Bella on May 28, 2004, 08:06:00 PM
Quote from: Efrim
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomThanks, Ani is great, huh?

No pressure.......just hurry and write it when you're ready to.


Sure. I need to round up a few pieces of information first. I´ve already started. Yeah, Ani is great. I´m a rabid fan, I own all the offcial releases and several bootlegs. Seen her 4 times.
Cool, that you've already started your manifesto. My niece, who reads tarot under the name 'JoyfulGirl', went to see Ani play in Salt Lake City a while back and Ani gave her a broken guitar string.  I'm jealous that you've seen her 4 times - I'm also a rabid fan....the woman is a mad genius.
Title: Purple Monkey Statement One (from a long time ago)
Post by: Efrim on May 28, 2004, 08:22:02 PM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Efrim
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomThanks, Ani is great, huh?

No pressure.......just hurry and write it when you're ready to.


Sure. I need to round up a few pieces of information first. I´ve already started. Yeah, Ani is great. I´m a rabid fan, I own all the offcial releases and several bootlegs. Seen her 4 times.
Cool, that you've already started your manifesto. My niece, who reads tarot under the name 'JoyfulGirl', went to see Ani play in Salt Lake City a while back and Ani gave her a broken guitar string.  I'm jealous that you've seen her 4 times - I'm also a rabid fan....the woman is a mad genius.

It was strange. When I was in Barcelona I met a guy whose best friend was the drummer in Ani´s band. I talked to him for a while and got some inside dirt that won´t be made public until her behind the music comes out, I imagine.