Hello all. Last few weeks in the Apikoros Household have been, shall we say, difficult. Where has all the laughter gone? Anyways, Daybreaks and I wanna do a chaos magik banishment ritual do get rid of some of the negative vibes. I got this site I googled: http://www.chaosmatrix.org/library/chaos_all.php but I'd love some suggestions. Or obnoxious comments intended as wit. Or wit that becomes obnoxious. All Hail Eris! :fnord:
I think you'll find a lot of people on here aren't into Chaos Magick. I am, but not enough to give suggestions.
those spells are all nonsense.
the proper ritual for banishment into happy laughter ritual is to invite a bunch of friends over and throw a party.
first, pick two or three good solid fun movies on DVD and watch those with some close friends in the afternoon, in the evening the rest should come over.
there should be quiche and a salad buffet or something
go medium easy on the alcohol and other drugs.
and very important, relocate furniture in such a manner to prevent people from sitting in a large circle and turning your awesome fun party into a boring tea party.
I suggest The Art of Memetics (download available in Think for Yourself, Schmuck).
Mostly people here are not really into the occult. Some are materialists, some think its all crap and....well, I can't speak for the others. I personally have a sort of psychological/sociological outlook, and I'm seeing sense in adding memetics to that model.
In which case, its about making yourself act in more humourous ways. Find something funny, fix it in your mind. Try to fix your behaviour around it, visualize it as a presence influencing your daily actions. Since how you act and what you believe are linked, if you believe in this funny principle or influence, and act as if it is a real thing, it should change your dealings and behaviour.
Or just do what 000 said.
Yeah, I am also not a big believer in that stuff, but I do believe there is much science we don't understand (YET!) and that there is power in ritual. plus, check out this one I found: Mass of Chaos "H"
by Phil Hine
This short 'rite' can be used as an 'earthing' sequence to close off a 'heavy' group session. It's aim is to promote laughter by exposing the perils of self-importance.
Discordians have long identified Harpo Marx as a contemporary avatar of Harpocrates, the God of Silence. Harpo is Lord of Silence, trickster and sacred clown.
Preparation
Priest to take on manifestation of HARPO may be adorned with woolly wig, top hat, and horn. Any other props for the use of the god may be placed on the altar, such as a feather duster or tickling stick.
Statement of Intent
It is our will to invoke HARPO, Sacred Fool and Lord of Silent Mockery, that the glamours of magic be dispersed, and Laughing Anarchy enter our hearts.
Priest: "Let the pomposity begin.
Celebrants then proceed to strut about the room, making self-important proclamations about the 'serious' and 'holy' paths of magic, and attest loudly that, as magi, they should be admired and respected by all.
As the celebrants do this, the Priest, in the center of the room, begins to prance and whirl about, making appropriate gestures and faces (visualizing himself as Harpo) until the avatar, drawn to a space where so much pomposity and self-importance is evident, chooses to manifest.
As the Priest feels the avatar come upon him, he brandishes the horn and gives the litany:
Honk, Honk, Honk, Honk, Honk (ad infinitum)
Upon hearing the sound of the horn, all celebrants must 'freeze' into statues of pomposity and self-importance. HARPO then has free reign to play whatever tricks and capers he will, his aim being to reduce the assembly to laughter. An effective way of doing this is, when Harpo's ministrations has forced one person to 'crack up' into laughter, they assist him in teasing and mocking the celebrants, until the whole assembly is laughing.
The rite may end here, or alternatively, Harpo may choose to deliver a sacrament in some fashion. If a Banishing is required, the Priest should be divested of his props, and coaxed from silence into speech.
I honestly dont even think science has much to do with it. Social constructivism, law of fives, NLP, memes, behaviorism and linguistics can explain most of the effects attributed to 'magick', which is partially why I dislike the term. It makes it sound both more inacessible/mystical and far more stupid than it is.
Apik, I strongly suggest you perform the Sacred "Smacking Yourself In The Nuts With A Clawhammer" Ritual.
Rent the entire Police Academy series. Pop some popcorn. Laugh. Repeat as necessary.
okay, let me put this in a way that maybe makes it more clear to you:
This ritual can be used as an unearthing sequence to close off a 'heavy' period of whatever. It's aim is to promote laughter by having fun and inviting a bunch of people over to party and rock out.
Discordians have long identified pie, cake, music and socializing with a bunch of friends as a contemporary avatar of Whothefuckreallycarus, the God of Awesome. Pie, Cake, Music and Friends are awesome.
- Preparation
Priest to pick out three of his favourite DVDs that he has fond memories of having a superb time watching with others.
Priest to take his phone, email and instant messaging client and send out the following statements of intent over the communicational astral quantum fairy tubes (being, a contactlist of his closest friends):
HI DUDE WANNA COME OVER AND WATCH MOVIE X Y AND Z ON <date ####>? ITLL BE AWESOEM AND THERE WILL BE PIE AND CAKE, ALSO GREAT PARTY AFTERWARDS
Priest then to make a list of cool people that he thinks are awesome, or would do well in generally jazzing up the place and/or for decorational purposes. He will then call those people up on their mobile and intone the following incantation:
HEY YEAH I WAS WONDERING I AM THROWING THIS PARTY BECAUSE OF <reason selected from this list (http://everything2.com/e2node/365%2520reasons%2520to%2520party)> ON <date ####> THERE WILL BE PIE AND CAKE AND BEER, ITS GOING TO BE AWESOEM AND ALSO BRING SOMETHING TO DRINK AND/OR EAT
(make sure it's the same date as the other statement of intent, or you might haunt your house with summoned unwanted entities at a later date)
Now for everybody that didnt pick up the phone (but you still intoned the incantation into the temporal shifting mechanism known as "voicemail"), you will use TELEPATHY. you can use TELEPATHY (which works by astral quantum spirit molecules) by opening your email program and writing the above statements of intent to the proper people, and, this is really important, you WRITE YOUR NAME, DATE AND ADDRESS BELOW IT. this will anchor the Awesome from the astral onto the material plane.
Finally, close your eyes and try to contact your Common Sense Egregore (he sort of looks like a glowing lightbulb), and a way to repeat the above process with a separate telepathic mechanism known as "Instant Messaging" might come to you, if you have received the proper initiation for this grade (see "registering for an AIM account" in the telepathy help guide on http://www.aim.com, a very useful website on quantum communicating). AIM stands for Aetheric Iniate Magicqk.
Your Common Sense Egregore might also provide you with additional means of telepathy, such as "Text-messaging" or "Handing Out Flyers".
- On the <date #####>, before manifestation happens, you will make sure you have rented the DVDs, have a DVD player ready, there must be cookie, pie and beer. also a salad buffet (altar) and quiche. you may also adorn yourself with a party hat but please don't overdo it. wear bright coloured clothes.
Make sure to arrange the holy temple furniture (that's chairs and couches and pillows) in such a way as to make circular formations of more than 4 our 5 people impossible.
Turn on your favourite insane happy music (i have some suggestions if you wish) and do a little dance.
- If you done everything properly, your best friends should begin to manifest early in the afternoon. Watch the DVDs with them. Repeat until laughter is acquired. Then continue.
- After (or while) the DVDs have been watched, eat something, drink something.
- The rest of the guests might begin to manifest. Be nice to them.
- Honk, Honk, Honk, Honk, Honk (ad infinitum) (this was already there, but i left it in)
- Nobody cares about what kind of music you play, as long as it's laid back and sort of backgroundish. No techno. No death metal. No cybergoth industrial. No Joy Division. Also, unfortunately, no insanely happy bouncy music because this will undoubtedly tire out your guests. I suggest "fatboy slim - on the floor at the boutique", Kruder & Dorfmeister and Shpongle.
- Upon hearing the sound of the horn, all celebrants must 'freeze' into statues of pomposity and self-importance. This is why you must make sure there are no horns around.
- You will now proceed to exchange pleasantries, drink, partake of a hotdog, chat, have fun and think up plans for world domination (aka: drink beer).
- The rite may end here, or alternatively, you may continue to party on indefinitely as per the suggestion in the HHGTTG.
- If a Banishing is required, you can turn off the music and kindly tell your guests that you are really tired and maybe they can go to a bar or something and continue there because you really need the sleep.
- The next morning, clean up.
Let all you friends catch you in your robe and then you can become the symbol of the joke.
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/roflbot.jpg)
Maddijiicke is complete and total bullshit.
Just do something stupid/strange for the hell of it. Well, I guess letting your buddies see you try and work your maddijiicke may be worth a laugh (bascially what Apex just said).
Quote from: Cain on April 04, 2008, 01:36:24 PM
I honestly dont even think science has much to do with it. Social constructivism, law of fives, NLP, memes, behaviorism and linguistics can explain most of the effects attributed to 'magick', which is partially why I dislike the term. It makes it sound both more inacessible/mystical and far more stupid than it is.
I tend to agree.
But science does support the psychological model of mahadgjeekque via:
• the placebo effect
• clinical hypnosis
• the pygmalion effect
• and a long list of natural human perceptual distortions, though the first three are the some of the most interesting IMO
Since it's associated with some super retarded elements of occultism and paganism (claiming to effect things in a way that breaks the laws of physics, ie. the paranormal) I usually deny having any involvement in "Chaos Magick."
Yeah.
Sorry, I should have explained that more. For some reason, my brain was thinking in terms of hard sciences, which had me dreading going down the quantumn physics/chaos theory route...
I tend to put the social sciences in a seperate category to science in general, so when I see the word "science" I think: biology, chemistry, physics, geology etc
So yeah, your points are along the lines I'm thinking. I just had a kneejerk reaction to the word usage in the thread, and should have teased out the meaning more.
Quote from: Cain on April 04, 2008, 03:21:54 PM
Yeah.
Sorry, I should have explained that more. For some reason, my brain was thinking in terms of hard sciences, which had me dreading going down the quantumn physics/chaos theory route...
I tend to put the social sciences in a seperate category to science in general, so when I see the word "science" I think: biology, chemistry, physics, geology etc
So yeah, your points are along the lines I'm thinking. I just had a kneejerk reaction to the word usage in the thread, and should have teased out the meaning more.
You're not the only one who separates the social and physical sciences from each other.
Very true. Of course, it could just be because what I study considers itself to be a social science yet is so bloody unscientific I tend to treat it and the social sciences in general as an almost wholly seperate category (except for some parts of psychology, which can be very scentific at times).
In the defense of social sciences, at least they try to apply the scientific method. But, it's not nearly as strong as the theories in physical sciences. And this is coming from somebody that studies physical sciences.
Quote from: Vene on April 04, 2008, 02:46:57 PM
Maddijiicke is complete and total bullshit.
Just do something stupid/strange for the hell of it. Well, I guess letting your buddies see you try and work your maddijiicke may be worth a laugh (bascially what Apex just said).
It's not "complete and total bullshit", but a lot of it is.
I'm gonna side with Ed Wilson and Wes Unruh, the writers of the Art of Memetics...
QuoteMagic is no longer restricted to ceremonial tools and garb. Magic [in this book] is about taking the cultural forces around us and using them to shape reality.
By that measure, every commercial you see is doing sigil magic. If we accept that as a definition, I think magic is a very powerful tool... just it's a lot easier to swallow if divorced of its arcane "bending laws of physics" aura.
QuoteMagic was once a much larger field of study. Over the years most of the ideas that were once confined to magical theory and practice have been isolated and reformulated in different fields of study. Magicians are left guarding only a few nuggets of practical application that remains unique to magic. For the most part, interaction with essences generated from patterns, the manipulation of belief to alter subjective experiences, and non-local action of thought and will are all that remain solely under the banner of 'Magick' and even these few ideations are being carted away into other disciplines. So why not just study those other disciplines?
We feel there is still value in the study of magic; in particular the language system that has been built up dealing with subtle connections, forces, and objects of the psyche. We believe that with grounding in the theory and experience of causing the improbable to become possible, an individual becomes empowered to reverse-engineer the hyperreal world of post-modern discourse. We believe that magic is much more than sleight of hand or sleight of mind, and know that what has been carted away into the sciences of harmonics, of chemistry, of quantum physics still haunts the spectral core of this abstraction labeled sorcery, magic, thaumaturgy, mojo, hoodoo... and in precisely the same way, magic haunts sciences, both hard and soft. One doesn't need to dig far to find elements of wizardry in neurolinguistic programming7, or marketing, or psychology. We do not react directly to the world but rather the world as it is filtered by our nervous system's habits of punctuation. We break down the world according to what we expect to find, how we move indicates what is important to pay attention and what our word systems point out or hide. This is what Kenneth Burke refers to as the terministic screen, and is very similar to what Robert Anton Wilson meant when he discussed Reality Tunnels in his work Quantum Psychology.
The people behind Chaos Marxism have a very similar outlook. They consider magick, politics, marketing and advertising etc to all be the same things - attempts to influence and change how you think.
And these people are outright materialists.
I have to agree, in some sense, with Cram here...
Chaos magic, as a model doesn't seem like complete and total bullshit, based on my experiences. The bullshit comes in when people confuse the menu and the meal... when they confuse the metaphor with something real. I've taken classes taught by both Phil Hine and Peter Carroll (Antero Alli too)... in all of these variations on Chaos Magic, I don't recall the instructor making claims about physics. Physics as metaphor, sure... modifying psychics as really real... well there were a couple students that made such claims, but mostly people seemed to think they were a bit nutty (like the woman that claimed she could throw fireballs from her belly).
In the end, however, mosbunal of the concepts of Chaos Magic are well discussed in The Art of Memetics (see also Phil Hine's Book of Atem)
Thats why I keep suggesting a new term. 'Magick' seems too loaded.
Troof. I don't want to identify myself as a magician, but I AM essentially doing "sigil magic" with POSTERGASM and the other insane projects that seem to occupy all my time. There's gotta be a better word.
Reality Hacking?
Culture hacking may be better. It implies a level of subjectivity in what is being done, which I rather like.
Meh, I just lump Chaos Magick, Postergasm, culture hacking, reality hacking and whatever else as "having fun".
And I can't think of anything more mystical and profound and spiritual and magical then 'having fun', personally.
Culture Hacking, Mind Hacks, Memetic Warfare?
Magic, in my opinion, still has its place as a model. It has a lot of existing symbols which, when taken as symbols can provide a useful map... one that has been developed over centuries. If you examine Magic and Memetics together, I think (in my opinion) that you may find a more clear map than simply examining one model (only memetics, or only magic).
For me, at least, it seems important to look at reality through as many models as possible... this past Fall/Winter I read Book Four, Book of Atem and Mind Hacks all together and found that they seemed (to me) more clear taken together than any of them taken on their own.
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on April 04, 2008, 03:46:40 PM
Quote from: Vene on April 04, 2008, 02:46:57 PM
Maddijiicke is complete and total bullshit.
Just do something stupid/strange for the hell of it. Well, I guess letting your buddies see you try and work your maddijiicke may be worth a laugh (bascially what Apex just said).
It's not "complete and total bullshit", but a lot of it is.
I'm gonna side with Ed Wilson and Wes Unruh, the writers of the Art of Memetics...
QuoteMagic is no longer restricted to ceremonial tools and garb. Magic [in this book] is about taking the cultural forces around us and using them to shape reality.
By that measure, every commercial you see is doing sigil magic. If we accept that as a definition, I think magic is a very powerful tool... just it's a lot easier to swallow if divorced of its arcane "bending laws of physics" aura.
QuoteMagic was once a much larger field of study. Over the years most of the ideas that were once confined to magical theory and practice have been isolated and reformulated in different fields of study. Magicians are left guarding only a few nuggets of practical application that remains unique to magic. For the most part, interaction with essences generated from patterns, the manipulation of belief to alter subjective experiences, and non-local action of thought and will are all that remain solely under the banner of 'Magick' and even these few ideations are being carted away into other disciplines. So why not just study those other disciplines?
We feel there is still value in the study of magic; in particular the language system that has been built up dealing with subtle connections, forces, and objects of the psyche. We believe that with grounding in the theory and experience of causing the improbable to become possible, an individual becomes empowered to reverse-engineer the hyperreal world of post-modern discourse. We believe that magic is much more than sleight of hand or sleight of mind, and know that what has been carted away into the sciences of harmonics, of chemistry, of quantum physics still haunts the spectral core of this abstraction labeled sorcery, magic, thaumaturgy, mojo, hoodoo... and in precisely the same way, magic haunts sciences, both hard and soft. One doesn't need to dig far to find elements of wizardry in neurolinguistic programming7, or marketing, or psychology. We do not react directly to the world but rather the world as it is filtered by our nervous system's habits of punctuation. We break down the world according to what we expect to find, how we move indicates what is important to pay attention and what our word systems point out or hide. This is what Kenneth Burke refers to as the terministic screen, and is very similar to what Robert Anton Wilson meant when he discussed Reality Tunnels in his work Quantum Psychology.
I'm not a fan of digging through shit to find a small amount of something valuable. And, if you want to define magic as cultural forces, then I have a lot harder time seeing that as complete garbage. But, it's so detached from what magic was historically that I can't really see it as magic.
I love chaos magicke because it allows me to masturbate over my own silly drawings with reason
Quote from: Vene on April 04, 2008, 05:45:20 PM
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on April 04, 2008, 03:46:40 PM
Quote from: Vene on April 04, 2008, 02:46:57 PM
Maddijiicke is complete and total bullshit.
Just do something stupid/strange for the hell of it. Well, I guess letting your buddies see you try and work your maddijiicke may be worth a laugh (bascially what Apex just said).
It's not "complete and total bullshit", but a lot of it is.
I'm gonna side with Ed Wilson and Wes Unruh, the writers of the Art of Memetics...
QuoteMagic is no longer restricted to ceremonial tools and garb. Magic [in this book] is about taking the cultural forces around us and using them to shape reality.
By that measure, every commercial you see is doing sigil magic. If we accept that as a definition, I think magic is a very powerful tool... just it's a lot easier to swallow if divorced of its arcane "bending laws of physics" aura.
QuoteMagic was once a much larger field of study. Over the years most of the ideas that were once confined to magical theory and practice have been isolated and reformulated in different fields of study. Magicians are left guarding only a few nuggets of practical application that remains unique to magic. For the most part, interaction with essences generated from patterns, the manipulation of belief to alter subjective experiences, and non-local action of thought and will are all that remain solely under the banner of 'Magick' and even these few ideations are being carted away into other disciplines. So why not just study those other disciplines?
We feel there is still value in the study of magic; in particular the language system that has been built up dealing with subtle connections, forces, and objects of the psyche. We believe that with grounding in the theory and experience of causing the improbable to become possible, an individual becomes empowered to reverse-engineer the hyperreal world of post-modern discourse. We believe that magic is much more than sleight of hand or sleight of mind, and know that what has been carted away into the sciences of harmonics, of chemistry, of quantum physics still haunts the spectral core of this abstraction labeled sorcery, magic, thaumaturgy, mojo, hoodoo... and in precisely the same way, magic haunts sciences, both hard and soft. One doesn't need to dig far to find elements of wizardry in neurolinguistic programming7, or marketing, or psychology. We do not react directly to the world but rather the world as it is filtered by our nervous system's habits of punctuation. We break down the world according to what we expect to find, how we move indicates what is important to pay attention and what our word systems point out or hide. This is what Kenneth Burke refers to as the terministic screen, and is very similar to what Robert Anton Wilson meant when he discussed Reality Tunnels in his work Quantum Psychology.
I'm not a fan of digging through shit to find a small amount of something valuable. And, if you want to define magic as cultural forces, then I have a lot harder time seeing that as complete garbage. But, it's so detached from what magic was historically that I can't really see it as magic.
I think it may be detached from the popular beliefs and myths about magic... but reading Crowley, Regardie, even Abremelin... if you look at it as consciousness change (modifying one's own reality tunnel) and culture hacking (using memetics/mindfucks/rituals/etc) to modify other people's reality tunnels... then suddenly 'magic' doesn't seem nearly as detached from what we're discussing.
Quote from Uncle Al:
QuoteMy message is then twofold; to the greasy bourgeois I preach discontent; I shock
him, I stagger him, I cut away earth from under his feet, I turn him upside down, I
give him hashish and make him run amok, I twitch his buttocks with the red-hot
tongs of my Sadistic fancy—until he feels uncomfortable.
But to the man who is already as uneasy as St. Lawrence on his silver grill, who feels the Spirit stir in him, even as a woman feels, and sickens at, the first leap of the babe in her womb, to him I bring the splendid vision, the perfume and the glory, the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel. And to whosoever hath attained that height will I put a further Question, announce an further Glory. It is my misfortune and not my fault that I am bound to deliver this elementary Message.
"Man has two sides; one to face the world with,
One to show a woman that he loves her."
We must pardon Browning his bawdy jest; for his truth is ower true! But it is your own fault if you are the world instead of the beloved; and only see of me what Moses
saw of God!
It is disgusting to have to spend one's life jetting dirt in the face of the British public in the hope that in washing it they may wash off the acrid grease of their
commercialism, the saline streaks of their hypocritical tears, the putrid perspiration of their morality, the dribbling slobber of their sentimentality and their religion. And
they don't wash it! . . .
- Liber CLVIII "The Solider and The Hunchback http://www.hermetic.com/crowley/libers/liber148.pdf (http://www.hermetic.com/crowley/libers/liber148.pdf)
That sounds, to me, far more like an admission of 'culture hacking', than a mystical, magical realm of twisting physics.
Damn Discordians making me think! :argh!:
I'll have to look more into this.
Rat, great AC quote...
But if that's one of his aims of Magick, then he is truly the only Honest Macgikian the OTO has ever known.
Which kind of makes one question the definition in the first place.
The OTO = jacking off, pretending to be Uncle Al, litigation and pissy ethnocentric wars.
Quote from: Cain on April 04, 2008, 06:44:45 PM
The OTO = jacking off, pretending to be Uncle Al, litigation and pissy ethnocentric wars.
:potd:
The only TRULY TRUE PATH is the venerable SSOOKN.
Damn, this thread is now full of win.
Quote from: LMNO on April 04, 2008, 06:42:29 PM
Rat, great AC quote...
But if that's one of his aims of Magick, then he is truly the only Honest Macgikian the OTO has ever known.
Lon Milo Duquette would also fit that description, I think.
I thought you might like this quote from Crowley as well...
Quote
I am not so foolish as to think that my doctrine can ever gain the ear of the world. I
expect than ten centuries hence the "nominal Crowleians" will be as pestilent and
numerous a body as the "nominal Christians" are to-day; for (at present) I have been
able to devise no mechanism for excluding them. Rather, perhaps, should I seek to
find them a niche in the shrine, just as Hinduism provides alike for those capable of
the Upanishads and those whose intelligences hardly reaches up to the Tantras. In
short, one must abandon the reality of religion for a sham, so that the religion may be
universal enough for those few who are capable of its reality to nestle in its breast,
and nurse their nature on its starry milk. But we anticipate!
This entire thread is TL;DR
but... based solely on the title i will declare it to be EPIC FAIL
Quote from: noodlefred on April 04, 2008, 08:24:15 PM
This entire thread is TL;DR
but... based solely on the title i will declare it to be EPIC FAIL
Based solely on your name I declare you to be a MAN! :eek:
Quote from: noodlefred on April 04, 2008, 08:24:15 PM
This entire thread is TL;DR
but... based solely on the title i will declare it to be EPIC FAIL
NO YUO!
I too am not a person into Magic(k) (however you want to deal with it) but I am into ritual, the sociocultural side of ritual, why we do specific things and how to break the ingrained rituals of others which have become outmoded and without reason anymore. Not everyone liked the book "Company" by Max Barry, but I rather enjoyed it, especially the ministory about the Chimps.
They did an experiment with Chimpanzees, they would have like 20 chimpanzees in an enclosure, and they would offer a Banana to a nearby Chimp, the Banana was rigged however that if they Chimp took it, it would electrify the floor, they quickly figured out grabbing the Banana was a bad idea. So no one went for the Banana anymore. They took out a few chimps and put in some new chimps, then they offered the Banana again, the new chimps not knowing went for the Banana, and the knowing chimps beat on the new guys mercilessly, eventually the new chimps learned not to go after the Banana, not because it electrified the floor, but because the other chimps would beat them up if they did. So they removed some older chimps and put newer chimps in, and the cycle continued... eventually there were no chimps in the enclosure that knew that grabbing for the Banana would electrify the floor, but anyone chancing a grab at the banana would get beaten up because thats what they ended up being taught without knowing WHY it was wrong to do so.
Ritual sometimes has importance, and usefulness to everyone, sometimes we do it because its FUN. But we have to not accept rituals blindly, unless we enjoy them enough that it doesn't matter. Its important to question things, but also to enjoy things that make us happy.
PSB
Ritual is, I've found, entirely human.
The thing is to notice when the ritual becomes less than a ritual or more than a ritual.
Then it's time for a change.
Quote from: Apikoros II on April 04, 2008, 11:50:47 AM
Hello all. Last few weeks in the Apikoros Household have been, shall we say, difficult. Where has all the laughter gone? Anyways, Daybreaks and I wanna do a chaos magik banishment ritual do get rid of some of the negative vibes. I got this site I googled: http://www.chaosmatrix.org/library/chaos_all.php but I'd love some suggestions. Or obnoxious comments intended as wit. Or wit that becomes obnoxious. All Hail Eris! :fnord:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh man. Oh god. Oh MAN. OH GOD. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vHRMeRszw4)
Wow, I was much more charitable in this thread than I would be nowadays.
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 14, 2010, 07:41:19 PM
Oh man. Oh god. Oh MAN. OH GOD. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vHRMeRszw4)
:lulz: :? :lulz:
Quote from: LMNO on April 04, 2008, 02:01:05 PM
Apik, I strongly suggest you perform the Sacred "Smacking Yourself In The Nuts With A Clawhammer" Ritual.
I think this is still the correct answer.
"Pondering the difference between affirmations to invoke positive personal qualities & willful ignorance of personal flaws: where's the line?" -St. Autumn Tyr-Salvia
This clown is a troll.
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 04, 2008, 02:15:58 PM
okay, let me put this in a way that maybe makes it more clear to you:
This ritual can be used as an unearthing sequence to close off a 'heavy' period of whatever. It's aim is to promote laughter by having fun and inviting a bunch of people over to party and rock out.
Discordians have long identified pie, cake, music and socializing with a bunch of friends as a contemporary avatar of Whothefuckreallycarus, the God of Awesome. Pie, Cake, Music and Friends are awesome.
- Preparation
Priest to pick out three of his favourite DVDs that he has fond memories of having a superb time watching with others.
Priest to take his phone, email and instant messaging client and send out the following statements of intent over the communicational astral quantum fairy tubes (being, a contactlist of his closest friends):
HI DUDE WANNA COME OVER AND WATCH MOVIE X Y AND Z ON <date ####>? ITLL BE AWESOEM AND THERE WILL BE PIE AND CAKE, ALSO GREAT PARTY AFTERWARDS
Priest then to make a list of cool people that he thinks are awesome, or would do well in generally jazzing up the place and/or for decorational purposes. He will then call those people up on their mobile and intone the following incantation:
HEY YEAH I WAS WONDERING I AM THROWING THIS PARTY BECAUSE OF <reason selected from this list (http://everything2.com/e2node/365%2520reasons%2520to%2520party)> ON <date ####> THERE WILL BE PIE AND CAKE AND BEER, ITS GOING TO BE AWESOEM AND ALSO BRING SOMETHING TO DRINK AND/OR EAT
(make sure it's the same date as the other statement of intent, or you might haunt your house with summoned unwanted entities at a later date)
Now for everybody that didnt pick up the phone (but you still intoned the incantation into the temporal shifting mechanism known as "voicemail"), you will use TELEPATHY. you can use TELEPATHY (which works by astral quantum spirit molecules) by opening your email program and writing the above statements of intent to the proper people, and, this is really important, you WRITE YOUR NAME, DATE AND ADDRESS BELOW IT. this will anchor the Awesome from the astral onto the material plane.
Finally, close your eyes and try to contact your Common Sense Egregore (he sort of looks like a glowing lightbulb), and a way to repeat the above process with a separate telepathic mechanism known as "Instant Messaging" might come to you, if you have received the proper initiation for this grade (see "registering for an AIM account" in the telepathy help guide on http://www.aim.com, a very useful website on quantum communicating). AIM stands for Aetheric Iniate Magicqk.
Your Common Sense Egregore might also provide you with additional means of telepathy, such as "Text-messaging" or "Handing Out Flyers".
- On the <date #####>, before manifestation happens, you will make sure you have rented the DVDs, have a DVD player ready, there must be cookie, pie and beer. also a salad buffet (altar) and quiche. you may also adorn yourself with a party hat but please don't overdo it. wear bright coloured clothes.
Make sure to arrange the holy temple furniture (that's chairs and couches and pillows) in such a way as to make circular formations of more than 4 our 5 people impossible.
Turn on your favourite insane happy music (i have some suggestions if you wish) and do a little dance.
- If you done everything properly, your best friends should begin to manifest early in the afternoon. Watch the DVDs with them. Repeat until laughter is acquired. Then continue.
- After (or while) the DVDs have been watched, eat something, drink something.
- The rest of the guests might begin to manifest. Be nice to them.
- Honk, Honk, Honk, Honk, Honk (ad infinitum) (this was already there, but i left it in)
- Nobody cares about what kind of music you play, as long as it's laid back and sort of backgroundish. No techno. No death metal. No cybergoth industrial. No Joy Division. Also, unfortunately, no insanely happy bouncy music because this will undoubtedly tire out your guests. I suggest "fatboy slim - on the floor at the boutique", Kruder & Dorfmeister and Shpongle.
- Upon hearing the sound of the horn, all celebrants must 'freeze' into statues of pomposity and self-importance. This is why you must make sure there are no horns around.
- You will now proceed to exchange pleasantries, drink, partake of a hotdog, chat, have fun and think up plans for world domination (aka: drink beer).
- The rite may end here, or alternatively, you may continue to party on indefinitely as per the suggestion in the HHGTTG.
- If a Banishing is required, you can turn off the music and kindly tell your guests that you are really tired and maybe they can go to a bar or something and continue there because you really need the sleep.
- The next morning, clean up.
:lulz:
The first thing I saw on that site:
"An Old Point That Bears Repeating"
Fuckin' bears >_>