Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: BootyBay on May 13, 2008, 08:38:24 PM

Title: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: BootyBay on May 13, 2008, 08:38:24 PM
Oregon is stupid.

That being said, let's look at some of our "go go gadget green" policies.

1) Kill sea lions for salmon! (We can't take out the dams because Al Gore is God - i.e. Global Warming implies any negative effect on the temperature of the planet must be avoided at all costs, even the survival of another species)

2) Abandon plastic grocery bags! (Paper bags, unless certified by the Sustainable Forestry Initiative, cost 3 times as much to make as plastic ones and pose their own, unique threats to the environment. Re-usable bags are just too darned practical for us to think about using)

3) Build a bike-only bridge across the river! (Oops! I guess that was just gonna be too costly; citizens complained. So, that one's toast. We all know that the only good ideas are popular ideas)

Those are the only three I can think of now, but I assure you that more equally stupid ideas are out there. We (Oregonians, that is) are simply making a symbolic act to save the Earth. So why not just sit out in the 120 degree weather, sipping a margarita and letting greenhouse gases bring the planet to a boil? That would be a more honest symbol of our efforts to stop global warming.

To all you baby boomers feeling self-righteous about the fact you finally own a Prius, you're too late.  You should've listened to your kids back in the 90's, but you wrote them off because Nirvana was too loud & obnoxious, unlike your precious Rolling Stones collection.  And now the only thing you can truly feel self-righteous about is the fact that your parents were even worse about environmental things.  Way to go,
hippies.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: AFK on May 13, 2008, 08:45:34 PM
Maine's had it's fair share or wacky ideas aimed at saving the environment.  The wackiest of which was to enact a deposit on cigarettes, and then give a refund on returned butts ala soda bottles/cans.  I'm dead serious, this actually went into law, but was quickly repealed when they realised how impractical it was. 
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on May 13, 2008, 08:48:40 PM
In Ohio, we apparently don't give a shit about the environment.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on May 13, 2008, 09:02:56 PM
I don't think we care much in MO either.  Especially STL.

But then we can't piss off the almighty budweiser yanno...
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: e on May 13, 2008, 10:42:33 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on May 13, 2008, 08:48:40 PM
In OhioAmerica, we apparently don't give a shit about the environment.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: zero_day on May 14, 2008, 05:55:31 AM
Fuck the environment.

It snowed in Baghdad for the first time in 100 years this year.

Iowa had the coldest winter it's had in years.

Fuck Al Gore.

He did not invent the internet.

But I'm pretty sure he made up global warming.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Idem on May 14, 2008, 05:59:04 AM
Quote from: zero_day on May 14, 2008, 05:55:31 AM
Fuck the environment.

It snowed in Baghdad for the first time in 100 years this year.

Iowa had the coldest winter it's had in years.

Fuck Al Gore.

He did not invent the internet.

But I'm pretty sure he made up global warming.
:kingmeh:
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 14, 2008, 06:13:02 AM
 :lol: Because "global warming" means we're all gonna be walking around in shorts all seasons, right? It's not like weather is a complicated system or anything...
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: AFK on May 14, 2008, 01:36:39 PM
Well if Global Warming means having 12 feet of snow in my backyard every winter then goddamn this is really, really going to suck. 
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on May 14, 2008, 02:56:13 PM
OP is TCM.

Oregon is all fucked up.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Jenne on May 14, 2008, 03:48:48 PM
Hey, CA may be all kinds of fucked up, but I'm proud to be part of a lawsuit that is suing the fucking Feds over our rights to pursue and put into effect environment-friendly policies.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Cramulus on May 14, 2008, 03:59:45 PM
prediction
In 50 years....
either

A) People in the super-polluted future will regard the society of the late 20th century and early 21st century as BARBARIANS who had NO REGARD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT. They will look down their noses at us like we look down at slavers and mysogynists of centuries past. IT'S YOUR FAULT WE LIVE IN A GREENHOUSE.

or

B) In 50 years we will not stop polluting at this rate, and the environment will actually be okay. We will remember the green movement as a BUNCH OF CONDESCENDING, TRENDY SNOBS



Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Jenne on May 14, 2008, 04:40:25 PM
I'se a TRENDY SNOB!  :D

Not yet, but we're getting there.  Our recycling-to-trash ratio is 2:1 at this point--and that's probably skewed b/c we recycle our greenery too.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: e on May 14, 2008, 06:59:57 PM
Scientists ran some simulations that showed a rise of 1 meter in our current sea level by the end of the century.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7349236.stm
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Random Probability on May 14, 2008, 07:59:01 PM
News Flash:  If the last three interglacials are any indication (not like the earth has cyclic weather patterns or anything), then we are due for a 30 meter rise in sea level before we slide back into the next ice age.

The problem here is that the people with the money invented a new money game (carbon trading) and they aren't going to stop playing it until it runs out of money.

Edit: Oh, and Oregon is full of fail.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: e on May 14, 2008, 08:22:50 PM
Quote from: Muffled Phosphor on May 14, 2008, 07:59:01 PM
News Flash:  If the last three interglacials are any indication (not like the earth has cyclic weather patterns or anything), then we are due for a 30 meter rise in sea level before we slide back into the next ice age.

I think the concern was more the speed of it than the fact that it was happening.

I dunno, I'm not a real science person.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Triple Zero on May 15, 2008, 09:20:50 PM
Quote from: TheStripèdOne on May 14, 2008, 06:59:57 PM
Scientists ran some simulations that showed a rise of 1 meter in our current sea level by the end of the century.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7349236.stm

our government has stated that they see no problem in building the proper dikes to accomodate this ..

i hope they're right.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Adios on May 15, 2008, 09:28:16 PM
Oregon is so full of fail they have a law telling you when to put your snow tires ON and another one telling you when to take them OFF.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: AFK on May 15, 2008, 09:31:37 PM
We have that in Maine as well.  We also have a law that if your windshield wipers are on, you have to have your headlights on too. 
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Adios on May 15, 2008, 09:37:23 PM
Good grief.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on May 15, 2008, 09:39:24 PM
Quote from: Rev. Whats His Name? on May 15, 2008, 09:31:37 PM
We have that in Maine as well.  We also have a law that if your windshield wipers are on, you have to have your headlights on too. 

We have that in Ohio as well... mostly because idiots actually argued that they didn't need headlights in driving rain stoms because 'it was the middle of the day".

Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: e on May 15, 2008, 09:44:36 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on May 15, 2008, 09:39:24 PM
Quote from: Rev. Whats His Name? on May 15, 2008, 09:31:37 PM
We have that in Maine as well.  We also have a law that if your windshield wipers are on, you have to have your headlights on too. 

We have that in Ohio as well... mostly because idiots actually argued that they didn't need headlights in driving rain stoms because 'it was the middle of the day".

I though that law was a USA-wide thing.  It always made sense to me, for the above reason.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Jenne on May 16, 2008, 06:19:24 AM
Quote from: Rev. Whats His Name? on May 15, 2008, 09:31:37 PM
We have that in Maine as well.  We also have a law that if your windshield wipers are on, you have to have your headlights on too. 

CA too
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: LMNO on May 16, 2008, 02:33:12 PM
Legislating common sense, ITT.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on May 16, 2008, 09:09:08 PM
Quote from: LMNO on May 16, 2008, 02:33:12 PM
Legislating common sense, ITT.

Well, that's the problem... sense seems in no way common any longer... thus people think it needs to be legislated.

Really, we just need to kill stupid people.  :argh!:
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Roo on May 16, 2008, 09:22:09 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on May 16, 2008, 09:09:08 PM
Quote from: LMNO on May 16, 2008, 02:33:12 PM
Legislating common sense, ITT.

Well, that's the problem... sense seems in no way common any longer... thus people think it needs to be legislated.

Really, we just need to kill stupid people.  :argh!:

Really, we just need to stop legislating common sense, and the problem will take care of itself.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: bones on May 16, 2008, 11:07:45 PM
forgive me, but that's HYSTERICAL

Quote from: Muffled Phosphor on May 14, 2008, 07:59:01 PM
News Flash:  If the last three interglacials are any indication (not like the earth has cyclic weather patterns or anything), then we are due for a 30 meter rise in sea level before we slide back into the next ice age.

read: "We're all fucked, but in case you didn't know, we're fucked even BEFORE that"

have you noticed the whether changing?
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Triple Zero on May 16, 2008, 11:12:49 PM
Quote from: Guan Yin on May 16, 2008, 09:22:09 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on May 16, 2008, 09:09:08 PM
Quote from: LMNO on May 16, 2008, 02:33:12 PM
Legislating common sense, ITT.

Well, that's the problem... sense seems in no way common any longer... thus people think it needs to be legislated.

Really, we just need to kill stupid people.  :argh!:

Really, we just need to stop legislating common sense, and the problem will take care of itself.

yes. we should set free the common sense, so that it can migrate to those who need it most!
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Reginald Ret on May 17, 2008, 01:04:58 AM
Quote from: triple zero on May 16, 2008, 11:12:49 PM
Quote from: Guan Yin on May 16, 2008, 09:22:09 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on May 16, 2008, 09:09:08 PM
Quote from: LMNO on May 16, 2008, 02:33:12 PM
Legislating common sense, ITT.

Well, that's the problem... sense seems in no way common any longer... thus people think it needs to be legislated.

Really, we just need to kill stupid people.  :argh!:

Really, we just need to stop legislating common sense, and the problem will take care of itself.

yes. we should set free the common sense, so that it can migrate to those who need it most!

TITCM
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 17, 2008, 02:16:06 AM
Quote from: Guan Yin on May 16, 2008, 09:22:09 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on May 16, 2008, 09:09:08 PM
Quote from: LMNO on May 16, 2008, 02:33:12 PM
Legislating common sense, ITT.

Well, that's the problem... sense seems in no way common any longer... thus people think it needs to be legislated.

Really, we just need to kill stupid people.  :argh!:

Really, we just need to stop legislating common sense, and the problem will take care of itself.

You'd think so, but natural selection plays cruel tricks on us.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 17, 2008, 02:32:10 AM
Quote from: The Reverend Asshat on May 15, 2008, 09:28:16 PM
Oregon is so full of fail they have a law telling you when to put your snow tires ON and another one telling you when to take them OFF.

Hey, wait, what? I know that there is a law that says you CAN'T have snow tires on during the summer, because it trashes the roads, but it's not like you HAVE to put them on at a certain time. You can just leave them off because it never fucking snows anyway unless you live in Grants Pass.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 17, 2008, 02:33:04 AM
Also, Oregon is completely full of fail, mud, and sheep-fuckers, and no one should come here, ever.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 17, 2008, 02:52:43 AM
Quote from: Nigel on May 17, 2008, 02:33:04 AM
Also, Oregon is completely full of fail, mud, and sheep-fuckers, and no one should come here, ever.

You're just trying to keep it to yourself.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Reginald Ret on May 17, 2008, 02:56:45 AM
dammit cainad! i wanted to say that!
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 17, 2008, 02:59:42 AM
That's okay, you can say the part about demanding that she turn over the drugs, gold, delicious pasta, and Orion slave girls that they hoard in Oregon.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Reginald Ret on May 17, 2008, 03:23:08 AM
ehmm what cainad said... oh and insert sheep somewhere, apparently that's a big tourist attraction there.

Quote from: Nigel on May 17, 2008, 02:33:04 AM
Also, Oregon is completely full of fail, mud, and sheep-fuckers, and no one should come here, ever.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Jenne on May 21, 2008, 07:08:51 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 17, 2008, 02:16:06 AM
Quote from: Guan Yin on May 16, 2008, 09:22:09 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on May 16, 2008, 09:09:08 PM
Quote from: LMNO on May 16, 2008, 02:33:12 PM
Legislating common sense, ITT.

Well, that's the problem... sense seems in no way common any longer... thus people think it needs to be legislated.

Really, we just need to kill stupid people.  :argh!:

Really, we just need to stop legislating common sense, and the problem will take care of itself.

You'd think so, but natural selection plays cruel tricks on us.

i.e. foundations of idiocracy itt
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 21, 2008, 11:06:45 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 17, 2008, 02:59:42 AM
That's okay, you can say the part about demanding that she turn over the drugs, gold, delicious pasta, and Orion slave girls that they hoard in Oregon.

Heyheyhey, now, don't be letting the cat out of the bag!
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 22, 2008, 03:05:26 AM
Quote from: Nigel on May 21, 2008, 11:06:45 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 17, 2008, 02:59:42 AM
That's okay, you can say the part about demanding that she turn over the drugs, gold, delicious pasta, and Orion slave girls that they hoard in Oregon.

Heyheyhey, now, don't be letting the cat out of the bag!

As soon as the bribes stop coming, the cat is going be so far out of that bag, it actually will be funny.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on May 22, 2008, 07:06:27 PM
to set the record straight:

a) Oregonians are stupid, but no more so per capita than anyone else. Taking the entire universe into account, they are still 15% percent more likely to fill out a federal tax form correctly than the average chunk of space rock. That counts for something, I'm sure.

b) It isn't "Global Warming" anymore. Now it's "Climate Change." They do this so they can say "I told you so" no matter what the temperature is next year. I realize that "liberals" are duty-bound to adhere to the words and obey the commandments of the Goracle, but I fail to see how that involves me. On the topic of man-made climate change, there are two possibilities as far as I know: 1) It's true, we're responsible, and if Nature is worth her salt she'll adapt to survive; or 2) It's bullshit, we're not responsible, and Al Gore can fuck all the goats he wants without worrying about his Carbon Footprint.

c) When, in the course of Human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to pass ridiculous legislation regarding any matter at all, it is always safe to consult Americans, because we are the best there is in that department.
Title: Re: Decagons are regular. Oregons are fucking dull.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 23, 2008, 01:12:55 AM
Quote from: vexati0n on May 22, 2008, 07:06:27 PM
they are still 15% percent more likely to fill out a federal tax form correctly than the average chunk of space rock.

:lulz: