Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: East Coast Hustle on May 20, 2008, 03:50:19 AM

Title: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: East Coast Hustle on May 20, 2008, 03:50:19 AM
dispose of the idea that sous vide is an acceptable way to cook meat or I will come to your restaurant and skullfuck you on the hostess station in the middle of a friday dinner rush.

TIA.

Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on May 20, 2008, 06:11:59 AM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 20, 2008, 06:13:21 AM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on May 20, 2008, 03:50:19 AM
dispose of the idea that sous vide

What's that?

TGRR,
Philistine.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Jasper on May 20, 2008, 06:28:33 AM
Sous-vide cooking uses airtight plastic bags placed in hot water well below boiling point for long periods of time.

It makes me sad, and a little sick to my stomach.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on May 20, 2008, 06:56:47 AM
i think iron chef has made it "trendy"
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 20, 2008, 07:14:55 AM
Quote from: Felix on May 20, 2008, 06:28:33 AM
Sous-vide cooking uses airtight plastic bags placed in hot water well below boiling point for long periods of time.

:x
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Dysnomia on May 20, 2008, 07:16:38 AM
Quote from: Felix on May 20, 2008, 06:28:33 AM
Sous-vide cooking uses airtight plastic bags placed in hot water well below boiling point for long periods of time.

It makes me sad, and a little sick to my stomach.

ew....

:vom:
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Triple Zero on May 20, 2008, 11:31:07 PM
Quote from: Felix on May 20, 2008, 06:28:33 AMSous-vide cooking uses airtight plastic bags placed in hot water well below boiling point for long periods of time.

It makes me sad, and a little sick to my stomach.

i don't see what's wrong with that. ECH, please explain what's wrong with this?

just another way of preparing meat. besides, you quickly sear the steak afterwards to give it a brown crust.

i've never had it, but it's supposed to be super tender.

the proteins in muscle meat cook at a temperature of 50-60 degrees C, everything above that will make the meat stringy again.

also, it's not just airtight, but vacuum.

and if it makes you sick to your stomach, realize that you can't do this unless you take some proper hygiene precautions, because obviously it's also the temp at which bacteria love to grow.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Jenne on May 21, 2008, 05:35:05 PM
Sounds like it's similar to what we do to babyback ribs before they go on the grill.  Though we just boil them outright, but it's to tenderize them and marinate them at the same time.  We never have any left, so I know they are a crowd pleaser.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: LMNO on May 21, 2008, 08:07:42 PM
I have to go aginst you on this one, ECH.  It seems like a kind of "dry poaching".

Slow, low heat?  Dammit, now I want a sous-vide pork belly.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Jasper on May 21, 2008, 09:22:03 PM
I'm against it, unless you can find something non-synthetic to boil it in.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on May 22, 2008, 05:13:17 AM
Quote from: Jenne on May 21, 2008, 05:35:05 PM
Sounds like it's similar to what we do to babyback ribs before they go on the grill.  Though we just boil them outright, but it's to tenderize them and marinate them at the same time.  We never have any left, so I know they are a crowd pleaser.


psst
try braising them
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 23, 2008, 12:52:06 AM
Mmmm, ribs...
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Jasper on May 23, 2008, 08:10:13 AM
Boiling directly in water takes too much flavor out, unless you boil it in a strong stock on low heat.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 23, 2008, 04:53:00 PM
I usually simmer in seasoned and lightly salted water.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Jasper on May 23, 2008, 05:39:39 PM
That's essentially what I meant.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Jenne on May 24, 2008, 09:36:17 PM
Quote from: Squid on May 22, 2008, 05:13:17 AM
Quote from: Jenne on May 21, 2008, 05:35:05 PM
Sounds like it's similar to what we do to babyback ribs before they go on the grill.  Though we just boil them outright, but it's to tenderize them and marinate them at the same time.  We never have any left, so I know they are a crowd pleaser.


psst
try braising them

Hm, I think we did a variation on braising once, didn't turn out as good...but then we change it up so often, I disremember each time how we did it the last time.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: East Coast Hustle on May 25, 2008, 01:50:49 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 23, 2008, 04:53:00 PM
I usually simmer in seasoned and lightly salted water.

TITCM.

always simmer, NEVER boil.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Adios on June 02, 2008, 05:42:44 PM
I smoked a rack of ribs yesterday in pure mesquite wood with very little seasoning. It of course took several hours at 210 degrees but OMG what a flavor. The mesquite totally infused the meat and it was moist throughout. I'm drooling just thinking about it.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 04, 2008, 06:53:35 AM
mmmmmmmmm

i likes my smoked meeetz
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 04, 2008, 05:08:26 PM
Smoked pork ribs are pretty much my idea of heaven.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Adios on June 04, 2008, 05:33:40 PM
Smoking a pork tenderloin today. 8)
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 05, 2008, 04:10:26 AM
I just smoked an ordinary top sirloin and it is AMAZING. I don't know if I can go back to grilled steak after this.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: hooplala on June 05, 2008, 04:10:55 AM
I just smoked a bowl - it was FABOO!
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 06, 2008, 06:22:04 AM
now i want a cigarette

:sad:
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on June 06, 2008, 11:47:32 PM
The only way I know how to cook meat well, is by cutting it thin and broiling it.

BROILING > BOILING.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 07, 2008, 03:59:18 AM
do you mean to say that that is an enjoyable way to cook meat or that you are cooking it "well done"?

Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on June 07, 2008, 04:23:37 AM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on June 07, 2008, 03:59:18 AM
do you mean to say that that is an enjoyable way to cook meat or that you are cooking it "well done"?



the former
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 07, 2008, 01:52:01 PM
ahh.  In that case, try not cutting it thin, broiling it under wicked high heat long enough to sear the outside, and then finishing in a 450 degree oven to desired done-ness. If the steak is about 1.5 inches thick, should take you about 3 minutes to get to mid-rare, 5 minutes to medium, and if you like it more done than that you should just eat your shoes.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on June 07, 2008, 02:11:06 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on June 07, 2008, 01:52:01 PM
ahh.  In that case, try not cutting it thin, broiling it under wicked high heat long enough to sear the outside, and then finishing in a 450 degree oven to desired done-ness. If the steak is about 1.5 inches thick, should take you about 3 minutes to get to mid-rare, 5 minutes to medium, and if you like it more done than that you should just eat your shoes.

Yeah, I prefer my meats on the rare side.

I'll give this a go.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Adios on June 09, 2008, 09:18:14 PM
Today I am smoking a whole chicken. I am using only mesquite wood and a beer and mesquite rub. I am seriously drooling every time I go out to check it. This is about a 10 hour process at 200 degrees.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 09, 2008, 10:12:46 PM
That sounds amazingly delicious.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Adios on June 09, 2008, 10:34:30 PM
I will let you know shortly. I only hope it tastes as good as it smells.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Adios on June 09, 2008, 10:43:43 PM
Absolutely incredible. Perfectly moist all the way through and the flavor is excellent!
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 09, 2008, 10:53:08 PM
Want!
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Adios on June 09, 2008, 11:07:41 PM
Here's the kicker. I put two baked potatoes foil wrapped with butter and ground garlic and salt and pepper in the smoker as well. Put the ingredients on the foil. Make a slit in the potato and put the slit on the ingredients. Double foil warp and cook slit and ingredients up.


Excuse me while I finish my Oral Orgasm.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 09, 2008, 11:53:29 PM
Stop it, you cruel, cruel man!
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on June 10, 2008, 12:22:20 AM
Now I'm totally sad about my dinner sandwich, even if it did have pickles.   :cry:
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Jasper on September 25, 2008, 07:19:58 AM
Dinner sandwich?

Now you have to explain.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on September 25, 2008, 07:26:55 AM
I don't remember posting this.  I don't remember the circumstances under which I posted it.  I think dinner sandwich just means a sandwich, that I had for dinner, but who the hell knows.


Sometimes having a terrible memory can be quite entertaining.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Jasper on September 25, 2008, 07:28:50 AM
Brain diarrhea.  I thought this was fresh.  Wasn't looking, and my "recent posts" button has been malfunctioning lately.

Nev-er-miiind.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: navkat on October 29, 2008, 09:49:47 AM
Quote from: Felix on May 20, 2008, 06:28:33 AM
Sous-vide cooking uses airtight plastic bags placed in hot water well below boiling point for long periods of time.

It makes me sad, and a little sick to my stomach.

Yeah...that sounds like the perfect handling conditions for a food-borne illness nightmare.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: The Dark Monk on October 29, 2008, 09:53:42 AM
Mexico, spreader of E-Coli and Salmonella. DONT EAT THE TOMATOES!
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on October 29, 2008, 05:20:26 PM
Quote from: navkat on October 29, 2008, 09:49:47 AM
Quote from: Felix on May 20, 2008, 06:28:33 AM
Sous-vide cooking uses airtight plastic bags placed in hot water well below boiling point for long periods of time.

It makes me sad, and a little sick to my stomach.

Yeah...that sounds like the perfect handling conditions for a food-borne illness nightmare.

Not just ANY food-borne illness, mind yuo. We're talking about airtight plastic bags here, meaning an oxygen-free environment for happyfun things like botulism.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: navkat on October 29, 2008, 08:59:48 PM
Quote from: Cainad on October 29, 2008, 05:20:26 PM
Quote from: navkat on October 29, 2008, 09:49:47 AM
Quote from: Felix on May 20, 2008, 06:28:33 AM
Sous-vide cooking uses airtight plastic bags placed in hot water well below boiling point for long periods of time.

It makes me sad, and a little sick to my stomach.

Yeah...that sounds like the perfect handling conditions for a food-borne illness nightmare.

Not just ANY food-borne illness, mind yuo. We're talking about airtight plastic bags here, meaning an oxygen-free environment for happyfun things like botulism.

Do not taunt happy fun botulism?
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on October 30, 2008, 02:46:38 AM
Taunt? Never!

Everyone knows that all the kewl kidz thrive in an oxygenless environment.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 11, 2010, 09:58:43 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on May 20, 2008, 03:50:19 AM
dispose of the idea that sous vide is an acceptable way to cook meat or I will come to your restaurant and skullfuck you on the hostess station in the middle of a friday dinner rush.

TIA.



Bump, because I'd really like to see this happen.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 11, 2010, 10:24:54 PM
Someday I will go back to the restaurant business, and I honestly feel really sorry for the people that happens to.
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 11, 2010, 10:26:37 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on October 11, 2010, 10:24:54 PM
Someday I will go back to the restaurant business, and I honestly feel really sorry for the people that happens to.

Did you ever dump those prehistoric beasties under the wharf back in Maine?
Title: Re: ATTN: any other chefs who might read this
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 12, 2010, 04:23:56 AM
oh yeah. I dumped them the day after I acquired them. In fact, a few days later the GM took her son out on the wharf so he could look at the "eels". :lulz: