Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: Bruno on August 04, 2008, 07:16:04 PM

Title: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bruno on August 04, 2008, 07:16:04 PM
Ok, so the collapse of civilization is coming soon, and I want to be prepared for it with delicious recipes that can be made with the food that will be available. Since I don't know the precise details of this approaching doom, I've come up with a few arbitrary conditions:

1.) Farming still happens, but with reduced resources and minimal infrastructure.

2.) Everything has to have been grown within 50 miles of where you live, or plan to live after the shit hits the fan. No processed food.

3.) Refrigeration is impractical and unreliable. No frozen goods, or products that have to be refrigerated. Drying, canning and root cellaring are still viable storage options.

4.) Animal products are scarce. Use sparingly.

5.) Nutritional value is a high priority.


If I have time before doom sets in, I'd like to start a post-apocalyptic themed automated food kiosk franchise.

My main recipe formula goes something like Dried food product + water + heat --> food. These are mainly soups,  breads, and homemade pastas/dumplings.

It's meant to simulate post-apocalyptic wintertime cuisine when fresh produce will not be available, mainly because I don't want to have to worry about food spoilage, and I don't want to have to check the machine more than once or twice a month.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: LMNO on August 04, 2008, 07:20:11 PM
Migrate south.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Cain on August 04, 2008, 07:22:46 PM
Cockroach and boiled leather, with muddy water.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bruno on August 04, 2008, 07:24:43 PM
Quote from: LMNO on August 04, 2008, 07:20:11 PM
Migrate south.

I'm already in Tennessee. How much further south do I need to go?
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bruno on August 04, 2008, 07:27:30 PM
Quote from: Cain on August 04, 2008, 07:22:46 PM
Cockroach and boiled leather, with muddy water.

Chipped dog on toast.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: LMNO on August 04, 2008, 07:28:08 PM
Quote from: Jerry_Frankster on August 04, 2008, 07:24:43 PM
Quote from: LMNO on August 04, 2008, 07:20:11 PM
Migrate south.

I'm already in Tennessee. How much further south do I need to go?

The gulf coast is a good idea.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Richter on August 04, 2008, 07:44:42 PM
At your kiosk, what part has patrons being attacked by roving gangs?
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bruno on August 04, 2008, 08:01:51 PM
Quote from: Richter on August 04, 2008, 07:44:42 PM
At your kiosk, what part has patrons being attacked by roving gangs?

Um, the outside part?

Seeing as it will be open 24/7, be parked in an empty lot and have little to no security, the chance of being attacked is real, not simulated.

Very authentic.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bruno on August 04, 2008, 08:04:05 PM
Quote from: LMNO on August 04, 2008, 07:28:08 PM
Quote from: Jerry_Frankster on August 04, 2008, 07:24:43 PM
Quote from: LMNO on August 04, 2008, 07:20:11 PM
Migrate south.

I'm already in Tennessee. How much further south do I need to go?

The gulf coast is a good idea.

I could use rice there!
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: LMNO on August 04, 2008, 08:07:17 PM
Quote from: Jerry_Frankster on August 04, 2008, 08:04:05 PM
Quote from: LMNO on August 04, 2008, 07:28:08 PM
Quote from: Jerry_Frankster on August 04, 2008, 07:24:43 PM
Quote from: LMNO on August 04, 2008, 07:20:11 PM
Migrate south.

I'm already in Tennessee. How much further south do I need to go?

The gulf coast is a good idea.

I could use rice there!


And access to fresh seafood.

If you also live near a river, you have access to fresh, non-stagnant water.

Forgot about potable water, didn't you?
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bruno on August 04, 2008, 08:21:24 PM
Quote from: LMNO on August 04, 2008, 08:07:17 PM

Forgot about potable water, didn't you?

There are plenty of wells around here. I'm sure we could figure out a way to get water out of them, even without electricity.

Also, I have a still.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: fomenter on August 04, 2008, 09:50:51 PM
post apocalyptic America

Eat the obese "there's plenty to go around".
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on August 04, 2008, 10:29:25 PM
Quote from: fnord mote eris on August 04, 2008, 09:50:51 PM
post apocalyptic America

Eat the obese "there's plenty to go around".

:sodamonitor:

:lulz:
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bruno on August 05, 2008, 12:06:22 AM
Fact: Human fat can be made into biodiesel, and you can heat your home with it in the wintertime.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: fomenter on August 05, 2008, 12:49:09 AM
top  advantages to eating the obese

1 they are slow moving and easy to catch

2 they can live on their own fat for extended periods (no refrigeration ) just add water

3 there is a large enough supply to meet the demand

4 they float well, just scoop them up during disaster flooding

5 "Fact: Human fat can be made into biodiesel, and you can heat your home with it in the wintertime."
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Triple Zero on August 06, 2008, 10:46:05 AM
Quote from: fnord mote eris on August 05, 2008, 12:49:09 AMtop  advantages to eating the obese

1 they are slow moving and easy to catch

2 they can live on their own fat for extended periods (no refrigeration ) just add water

3 there is a large enough supply to meet the demand

4 they float well, just scoop them up during disaster flooding

5 "Fact: Human fat can be made into biodiesel, and you can heat your home with it in the wintertime."

6 They migrate naturally to where they are needed most.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: AFK on August 06, 2008, 01:31:20 PM
Yeah, what's up with that.  I always have a bunch of them on my stoop.  It's, stoopid. 
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Triple Zero on August 06, 2008, 01:49:44 PM
so the fat stoop on your footstep?
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: AFK on August 06, 2008, 02:05:39 PM
stop that!  It's only 9am!  You're gonna make my brain fall out my ear!
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Triple Zero on August 06, 2008, 02:11:14 PM
if i make a brain fall out your ear, will all fear break out in maine?
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: AFK on August 06, 2008, 02:14:40 PM
Only if that corresponds with a tax hike, or it somehow makes the state's supply of Coffee Brandy disappear. 
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bruno on September 30, 2008, 06:31:28 AM
I think it's time to invest heavily in dried beans, y'all.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Jasper on September 30, 2008, 08:03:11 AM
Beans?  Shiiiiit.

We band together, employ some good old crop rotation, and live off fresh in-season foods.

While we're at it we could farm deer for meat, bone meal, and leather.  There are still deer in urban areas.

Fresh water? Use plastic jug condensation.

Heat?  Build a simple solar furnace or two.

Energy?  See heat.  Build a Hero engine powered by said solar furnace.  Voila.

Naturally, live in abandoned buildings. 

And your beans:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_7eRdIv_oU&feature=related

Sure, why not.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bruno on September 30, 2008, 11:44:15 PM
I like that stove. I've built a MIDGE before, which is similar, but smaller.

http://www.repp.org/discussiongroups/resources/stoves/midge/THE_COMPLETE_MIDGE.pdf
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Jasper on October 01, 2008, 12:59:42 AM
Nifty, saved. 
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Richter on October 01, 2008, 01:01:52 AM
Quote from: Jerry_Frankster on September 30, 2008, 11:44:15 PM
I like that stove. I've built a MIDGE before, which is similar, but smaller.

http://www.repp.org/discussiongroups/resources/stoves/midge/THE_COMPLETE_MIDGE.pdf

Thanks!

Felix:  If they are available, raise goats too.  Sheep if you have the land to graise them.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bruno on October 01, 2008, 01:48:41 AM
Also, stirling engines are one of the most efficient kinds of engines. In fact, I believe it's THE most efficient.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUrB7KRvxUk
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Jasper on October 01, 2008, 03:27:09 AM
That is freaking nifty.  A few of those could give enough working power for a small community to do all sorts of work during the day.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: saint aini on October 09, 2008, 03:36:35 AM
Okay... I'm living under similar restrictions as I'm waiting for a fridge and stove to be delivered.

Assume that there are a lot of dead bodies.  This means lots of wood to burn and lots of areas to forage/plant that were formerly other people's houses and yards and fruit trees.

A wood stove could easily be constructed from scrape worth about $150 in today's currency.  I forgot who came up with the design, but it's a pretty nifty design that uses sound to transfer heat from a wood fire and also make ice.  Of course, you have the simpler franklin stove.  I have one boiler operator friend who heats his back porch with a wood burner made from industrial scrap.

Second, without ice (which you could make with a fire if you had the right equipment), you would be best off not eating meat unless you killed it fresh and knew how to make jerky.

Third, go vegan.  Rice, fresh green beans when in season, yams, tomatoes, potatoes, pears, apples, cabbage, etc.

Pasta and dishes which require boiling water will likely be out of the question or luxury meals.

Nuts will be needed for protein.

Yams, as in actual yams, are a very important food in subsistence economies.  Sweet potatoes have a lot of vitamin A and a good form of carbohydrates.

If you can set it up, a pound of bread was a common component of medieval diets.

Without a doubt, beer will be necessary.  Fortunately, it's not that difficult to make.  Similarly, anyone with half a brain could make a still and produce cheap sherry, vodka or whiskey from fermented grapes, potatoes or grains.

Spices will be mandatory to break up the monotony.  Naturally, if you're suffering from monotonous tastes, you need to vary your diet.

I would expect greenhouses to be constructed to ensure fresh veggies year round by those in the know. It takes about an acre of land to subsistence farm for one person for one year.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 09, 2008, 06:04:19 AM
Why no pasta?
It isn't hard to make and it isn't hard to boil water.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Jasper on October 09, 2008, 06:07:52 AM
Flour, salt, eggs, water.  *Shrug*
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: RunsWithScissors on October 09, 2008, 12:06:18 PM
Parched Corn and Hard-tak

Standard reenactment/encampment foods.   Easy and quick to make, filling, semi-healthy.  Also great for hiking trips.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: LMNO on October 09, 2008, 12:50:03 PM
It's hard to make flour, I would assume.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Jasper on October 09, 2008, 05:45:52 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 09, 2008, 12:50:03 PM
It's hard to make flour, I would assume.

Yeah, it used to be on par with salt, if I recall.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: saint aini on October 10, 2008, 05:15:57 PM
Pasta would probably be a luxury item.  You could still have it, but there's easier ways to get your starches.

Note that I noted that beer would be necessary.

I'ma get medieval on your ass.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: LMNO on October 10, 2008, 06:39:22 PM
Solution:  Gnocci.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Jasper on October 10, 2008, 08:32:03 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 10, 2008, 06:39:22 PM
Solution:  Gnocci.

That takes care of the eggs and salt, but flour is still a tough one.  Takes farming and work.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: LMNO on October 10, 2008, 08:38:34 PM
Gnocci is potato based.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on October 10, 2008, 08:50:40 PM
If you live on the North American continent, it is highly likely that you are almost always within a mile or so of edible food. Obviously there are some exceptions (desert etc), but in general, there is always some edible food available. The trick is in identification of veggies/fungus/etc... even lichens and mosses are edible for the most part.

Other things to keep in mind. You cannot live on Rabbit alone. If the s*it hits the fan and you have to get your own food... do NEVAR have a diet solely of rabbit. Rabbit doesn't have enough fat to keep you alive. If you eat only rabbit, you will starve to death.

Also, refrigeration:

You need two clay pots a big one, and a smaller one that fits inside the big one. Put sand in the bottom, so that the lips of the pots are at the same height. then fill in the area around the smaller pot with sand. This results in a bog pot full of sand and a smaller pot. Now, soak the sand with water and place a cloth over the top. The inner jar will stay cool and you can refrigerate some stuff in there.

Also, keep in mind that we've been spoiled by variety. Greens grow everywhere, but most people ignore them... they're very healthy. Many other 'weeds' are good to eat, even if they taste like... well weeds.

I highly disagree with the 'Go Vegan' concept. Vegan is tricky enough with all of our modern amenities. To try to remain healthy with no meat and no easy access to supplements and regular checkups... that sounds like a recipe for disaster. Even in nations where veganism is common, its only because of the abundance and type of crops available that they can remain healthy.

Humans are omnivores thus our creed should be:

When the shit hits the fan,
Eat whatever you can.

:lulz:
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Jasper on October 10, 2008, 09:23:28 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 10, 2008, 08:38:34 PM
Gnocci is potato based.

I'm stupid based. :)



(Never made it before, my bad.)
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 12, 2008, 04:35:49 AM
refrigeration?
man, i wonder what we did 60 years ago without it.

oh. we just didn't use it.

you don't have to have refrigeration unless you plan on storing food for long periods of time.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 12, 2008, 04:56:04 AM
Quote from: LMNO on October 10, 2008, 08:38:34 PM
Gnocci is potato based.

yeah, it is.

but just try making it without flour.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bruno on October 12, 2008, 06:56:11 AM
Quote from: Squiddy on October 12, 2008, 04:35:49 AM
refrigeration?
man, i wonder what we did 60 years ago without it.

oh. we just didn't use it.

you don't have to have refrigeration unless you plan on storing food for long periods of time.

And then only if you plan on storing it fresh, not dried.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: rong on October 12, 2008, 06:57:48 AM
re: refrigeration - a protip i learned from the amish community:

1 - get giant pieces of styrofoam, or lots of insulating material

2 - build a building out of it

3 - cut ice all winter long and put it in there

4 - enjoy your fridge.

enough ice and insulation and it'll last you all summer.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: The Dark Monk on October 12, 2008, 12:40:38 PM
Is this an actual apocalypse where radiation kills everything, god rains meteors on us, or is it a zombie apocalypse? If it's a radiation or zombie apocalypse I hope you have a basement with 60 years of food in it.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bruno on October 12, 2008, 03:43:25 PM
Quote from: TheScarletReaper on October 12, 2008, 12:40:38 PM
Is this an actual apocalypse where radiation kills everything, god rains meteors on us, or is it a zombie apocalypse? If it's a radiation or zombie apocalypse I hope you have a basement with 60 years of food in it.

Zmobies only live 60 years?

It's an unspecific kind of apocalypse, but let's say for now that it's an economic apocalypse cause by overpopulation, overconsumption, and widespread incompetency.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on October 12, 2008, 05:53:49 PM
Quote from: Jerry_Frankster on October 12, 2008, 03:43:25 PM
Quote from: TheScarletReaper on October 12, 2008, 12:40:38 PM
Is this an actual apocalypse where radiation kills everything, god rains meteors on us, or is it a zombie apocalypse? If it's a radiation or zombie apocalypse I hope you have a basement with 60 years of food in it.

Zmobies only live 60 years?

It's an unspecific kind of apocalypse, but let's say for now that it's an economic apocalypse cause by overpopulation, overconsumption, and widespread incompetency.

So, basically, the way things are IRL?
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Jasper on October 12, 2008, 07:27:08 PM
Quote from: Jerry_Frankster on October 12, 2008, 03:43:25 PM
Quote from: TheScarletReaper on October 12, 2008, 12:40:38 PM
Is this an actual apocalypse where radiation kills everything, god rains meteors on us, or is it a zombie apocalypse? If it's a radiation or zombie apocalypse I hope you have a basement with 60 years of food in it.

Zmobies only live 60 years?

YOU try adapting to new food sources when you're dead.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Triple Zero on October 12, 2008, 09:00:58 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on October 12, 2008, 04:56:04 AM
Quote from: LMNO on October 10, 2008, 08:38:34 PM
Gnocci is potato based.

yeah, it is.

but just try making it without flour.

isn't it a gluten thing maybe?

i'm not sure, do potatoes even have gluten?
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 12, 2008, 09:35:20 PM
Potatoes do not have gluten.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Jasper on October 12, 2008, 09:46:18 PM
Starch, I believe.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 13, 2008, 03:51:46 AM
starch and gluten are not the same thing, and are not interchangeable.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Kai on October 13, 2008, 03:57:35 AM
Quote from: Felix on October 12, 2008, 09:46:18 PM
Starch, I believe.

Yes, starch.

Gluten = protein

starch = carbohydrate
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: Bruno on October 13, 2008, 04:39:57 AM
Quote from: Cainad on October 12, 2008, 05:53:49 PM
Quote from: Jerry_Frankster on October 12, 2008, 03:43:25 PM
Quote from: TheScarletReaper on October 12, 2008, 12:40:38 PM
Is this an actual apocalypse where radiation kills everything, god rains meteors on us, or is it a zombie apocalypse? If it's a radiation or zombie apocalypse I hope you have a basement with 60 years of food in it.

Zmobies only live 60 years?

It's an unspecific kind of apocalypse, but let's say for now that it's an economic apocalypse cause by overpopulation, overconsumption, and widespread incompetency.


So, basically, the way things are IRL?

Basically, but that's not to say that some kind of cataclysm won't push us over the edge.

Asteroid, supervolcano, plague, nuclear attack/war, energy crisis, something's bound to happen sooner or later. Maybe it already has.
Title: Re: Post Apocalyptic Cuisine
Post by: the last yatto on May 31, 2009, 12:10:24 AM
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/forum/INTERMITTENSNOMINATION.png)

yatto would like to reserve this topic for his :pax: issue of intermittens. to go alongside crazy prepared