Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: Triple Zero on August 29, 2008, 10:04:35 PM

Title: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Triple Zero on August 29, 2008, 10:04:35 PM
BREAKING: some dutch semi-satirical confrontational food testing and research TV programma found out that 30-70% of the cheese on McDonalds Cheese Burgers, NY Pizza pizza's, oven pizzas, ready made oven lasagna, etc etc is actually fake and made of oil+starch+flavourings.

yeah, big fucking deal, tell me something i didn't already suspect for a long time.

this, however is BESIDES THE POINT

BUT THIS:
(http://www.brabantsdagblad.nl/multimedia/archive/00862/_Kaas_op_pizza_s_is_862767b.jpg)
http://www.brabantsdagblad.nl/voorpagina/3622743/Kaas-op-pizza-en-cheeseburger-is-nep.ece

THE MACHINE ON THAT PICTURE IS A FAKE CHEESE MACHINE

how fucking awesome is that????

INDEED

IT'S A FUCKING FAKE CHEESE MACHINE

thank you for your attention.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 29, 2008, 10:14:02 PM
yeah, over here it's known as "american cheese" and it comes on damn near everything (at least as far as fast food is concerned).
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on August 29, 2008, 10:30:21 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on August 29, 2008, 10:14:02 PM
yeah, over here it's known as "american cheese" and it comes on damn near everything (at least as far as fast food is concerned).

This alone makes me feel just a little ashamed of my country.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 29, 2008, 10:45:23 PM
as far as having embarrassing things named after where you're from, it could always be worse.

unless, of course, you ARE from Cleveland.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Bruno on August 30, 2008, 12:37:34 AM
My rule of thumb is, if it just says "cheese" on the package, it's real cheese. If it says "Cheese Food", "Cheese Product" or "Cheeselike Substance", it's mostly bat guano.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Kai on August 30, 2008, 12:38:54 AM
People from Wisconsin know their cheese.

American cheese doesn't sell very well in rural Wisconsin.

'nuff said.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 30, 2008, 02:22:38 AM
it's really an affront to everything decent.

and yet...

sometimes it's SO good.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Triple Zero on August 30, 2008, 03:19:47 AM
also, it's a FAKE CHEESE MACHINE.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on August 30, 2008, 03:24:59 AM
So now all we need is a fake crackers machine, and Wallace and Gromit will be all set.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: rong on August 30, 2008, 05:09:39 AM
fake cheese was not a gouda idea
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 30, 2008, 05:38:28 AM
goddammit, dude.

I was trying to give you a chance to redeem yourself and you just totally bleu it.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: fomenter on August 30, 2008, 06:18:07 AM
he is not the only one making puns leave him brie
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: fomenter on August 30, 2008, 06:25:06 AM
also puns may not be arty but they could be havarti
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Payne on August 30, 2008, 07:58:04 AM
EDAM YUO ALL!
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: singer on August 30, 2008, 11:20:50 AM
Whey does this kind of thing happen to almost every thread here?
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: rong on August 30, 2008, 12:20:49 PM
i curdn't help it.  this thread was bound to get jacked anyway.







'Kay, so . . . good puns come   from age
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Payne on August 30, 2008, 02:20:37 PM
Quote from: singer on August 30, 2008, 11:20:50 AM
Whey does this kind of thing happen to almost every thread here?

We have nothing better to do. We're waiting for Daruko to bring his Armageddon Squad to PD. Yo MOMMA happens to almost every thread here. I was hit as a child. We are all actually RWHNs alts. Sometimes, I eat a biscuit. The Mods made me do it. Christopher Walken made me do it. Now look what you made me do.

Or, because this is Discord.

Take your pick.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on August 30, 2008, 02:40:36 PM
Quote from: Dr. Payne on August 30, 2008, 02:20:37 PM
Quote from: singer on August 30, 2008, 11:20:50 AM
Whey does this kind of thing happen to almost every thread here?

We have nothing better to do. We're waiting for Daruko to bring his Armageddon Squad to PD. Yo MOMMA happens to almost every thread here. I was hit as a child. We are all actually RWHNs alts. Sometimes, I eat a biscuit. The Mods made me do it. Christopher Walken made me do it. Now look what you made me do.

Or, because this is Discord.

Take your pick.

(http://judyonthenet.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/nowai.jpg)

Me too!
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Payne on August 30, 2008, 02:54:03 PM
I've been saying that for years, ever since I heard it on a Dolph Lundgren exercise video. I don't know why I was watching it, but there you go. One the highlights of his career.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Triple Zero on August 30, 2008, 04:22:30 PM
i asked my friend if he still knew when cheese was real, but he said he camembert
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on August 30, 2008, 04:54:48 PM
This is getting whey out of control.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: fomenter on August 30, 2008, 05:02:46 PM
its becoming a cottage industry
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Elder Iptuous on August 30, 2008, 05:13:28 PM
Many moons ago i worked at papajohns pizza, and found it humorous that the cheese was advertized as '100% Real Cheese', with the 'R' capitalized because it was 'Real' brand cheese....
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Nast on August 30, 2008, 06:19:03 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on August 30, 2008, 05:13:28 PM
Many moons ago i worked at papajohns pizza, and found it humorous that the cheese was advertized as '100% Real Cheese', with the 'R' capitalized because it was 'Real' brand cheese....

*Gasp* those munsters!
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Bruno on August 30, 2008, 06:23:26 PM
lol, Krafty.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Elder Iptuous on August 30, 2008, 06:25:59 PM
The marketer that came up with it was pretty sharp in my opinion
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: fomenter on August 30, 2008, 06:29:03 PM
marketing guys always string you along
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 30, 2008, 09:37:13 PM
Feta love of god, you guys, give it a rest.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Elder Iptuous on August 30, 2008, 09:38:20 PM
what? you just want tofu get about it?
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Elder Iptuous on August 30, 2008, 10:25:25 PM
I'm growing fodu them myself
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Kai on August 31, 2008, 02:56:02 AM
This thread makes my insides all a churney.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: fomenter on August 31, 2008, 03:32:27 AM
it makes the rest of us cream
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Nast on August 31, 2008, 04:12:52 AM
What was this thread about, again? I need someone to jog my mammary.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Triple Zero on August 31, 2008, 12:16:49 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on August 30, 2008, 09:37:13 PM
Feta love of god, you guys, give it a rest.

no, there's Stiltons of cheese puns to be made.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: singer on August 31, 2008, 01:58:39 PM
  Asiago away for a  couple of days, but it doesn't stop...
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cain on August 31, 2008, 02:01:58 PM
Quote from: Dr. Payne on August 30, 2008, 02:20:37 PM
Quote from: singer on August 30, 2008, 11:20:50 AM
Whey does this kind of thing happen to almost every thread here?

We have nothing better to do. We're waiting for Daruko to bring his Armageddon Squad to PD. Yo MOMMA happens to almost every thread here. I was hit as a child. We are all actually RWHNs alts. Sometimes, I eat a biscuit. The Mods made me do it. Christopher Walken made me do it. Now look what you made me do.

Or, because this is Discord.

Take your pick.

Payne means a soggy biscuit, of course.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cramulus on August 31, 2008, 03:38:32 PM
I havarti 'nuff of this cheddar jack
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Elder Iptuous on August 31, 2008, 03:58:49 PM
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on August 31, 2008, 03:38:32 PM
I havarti 'nuff of this cheddar jack

Uh-oh..... we've already used havarti.......
perhaps this thread is getting moldy..
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: fomenter on August 31, 2008, 04:08:01 PM
you wish toe see it be over but it taint over yet
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 31, 2008, 06:16:40 PM
yes, we keep trying to hide it under a rock, but....


it keeps crawling back out fromunda it.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: fomenter on August 31, 2008, 06:39:39 PM
it takes a big Longhorn to keep these puns going
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Jenne on August 31, 2008, 07:25:52 PM
Y'all have jacked this thread enough.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on September 08, 2008, 03:12:09 AM
Colby that we all just know way too much about cheese.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on September 08, 2008, 03:33:52 AM
This topic is so aged it's not fungus any more.   :|
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on September 08, 2008, 03:54:29 AM
It's getting rind of old.

Cut it out already. (GET IT? CUT "IT" OUT, WHERE IT=CHEESE?! OMG I AM SO WITTY)
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Jenne on September 08, 2008, 03:58:42 AM
That was a truly cheesy line, Cainad, I mean, really.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on September 08, 2008, 04:01:56 AM
It made me melt.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Jenne on September 08, 2008, 04:03:03 AM
:lulz:
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on September 08, 2008, 04:04:04 AM
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on September 08, 2008, 04:01:56 AM
It made me melt.

I just like to have fon. Due you understand that?
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Jenne on September 08, 2008, 04:05:56 AM
Any way you slice it, this fread is orver.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on September 08, 2008, 04:08:08 AM
Oy you're really milking it now.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Jenne on September 08, 2008, 04:21:22 AM
This queso is no longer fresco, and you know it.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on September 08, 2008, 04:23:18 AM
I gamalost; what're you talking about?
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Jenne on September 08, 2008, 04:25:11 AM
The mold on this fread means it's time to shut the cheese drawer, once and frinault.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on September 08, 2008, 04:34:56 AM
Fucking Jarslberg doesn't sound like any English words I can think of. I give up.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Jenne on September 08, 2008, 06:27:43 AM
QUITTER!
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on September 08, 2008, 06:33:38 AM
Quote from: Jenne on September 08, 2008, 06:27:43 AM
QUITTER!

Takes one to know one.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Jenne on September 08, 2008, 06:46:29 AM
Quote from: Cainad on September 08, 2008, 06:33:38 AM
Quote from: Jenne on September 08, 2008, 06:27:43 AM
QUITTER!

Takes one to know one.

SAY WAHT?  I'll havarti know I go to the slicing board for my cheese!
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Eve on September 08, 2008, 07:22:45 AM
Y'all bleu my mind--I <3 this thread.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on September 08, 2008, 10:45:30 AM
Quote from: Eve on September 08, 2008, 07:22:45 AM
Y'all bleu my mind--I <3 this thread.

Bleu was already used so you can't have it.

That's nacho cheese.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Eve on September 08, 2008, 03:13:12 PM
Quote from: Netaungrot on September 08, 2008, 10:45:30 AM
Quote from: Eve on September 08, 2008, 07:22:45 AM
Y'all bleu my mind--I <3 this thread.

Bleu was already used so you can't have it.

That's nacho cheese.

Hey, havarti was used at least three times. I can double up on bleu.

-Eve,
has no moar cheesy puns for this thread.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: AFK on September 08, 2008, 09:26:38 PM
 :D
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on September 08, 2008, 09:31:12 PM
Four and half pages of cheese puns. Talk about stracchino it out...

ZIPPLETITS, WHAT HATH THOU WROUGHT?!
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Payne on September 08, 2008, 09:42:25 PM
Parmigiano  about?
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: fomenter on September 08, 2008, 10:20:09 PM
4 pages, how long until someone goes Postel
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Triple Zero on September 09, 2008, 12:58:07 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on September 08, 2008, 09:26:38 PM
:D

i figure this thread mozzarella been fun for you.

but, i think i must goat cheese punning some more, the possibilities are paneer-ly endless.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Elder Iptuous on September 09, 2008, 01:12:06 AM
some of these have really gone out on a Limburger.
(self reference bonus: +1)
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: The Dark Monk on September 30, 2008, 12:06:02 AM
Pfffft. You all know Jack.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: The Dark Monk on September 30, 2008, 12:08:31 AM
Que, so what do we do now? Pourt Wine and drink a bit?
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Bruno on October 04, 2008, 07:26:02 AM
My theory is that it's all part of a Swiss conspiracy.






...drumroll
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: LMNO on October 06, 2008, 03:44:17 PM
Your theory is full of holes.

:rimshot:
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Bruno on October 06, 2008, 10:01:28 PM
FREAD OVAR.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 06, 2008, 11:16:01 PM
I don't know how we've managed to mask our puns this well for this long.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on October 07, 2008, 12:16:09 AM
Quote from: Jerry_Frankster on October 06, 2008, 10:01:28 PM
FREAD OVAR.

I agree. It's been aged to perfection.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: The Dark Monk on October 07, 2008, 11:15:25 AM
Should probably start another String.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: LMNO on October 07, 2008, 05:38:06 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on October 06, 2008, 11:16:01 PM
I don't know how we've managed to mask our puns this well for this long.

:mittens:
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Triple Zero on October 10, 2008, 08:20:51 PM
Quote from: revidc on October 10, 2008, 04:57:58 PM:lulz: a fake cheese machine.

Only in amerika.

THIS WAS IN DUTCHLAND

You Guys Are Fucking Up My Chee sepuns!
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: The Dark Monk on October 15, 2008, 12:03:04 PM
You are my Foe.....CATTIA IN A CLEVER TRAP
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Elder Iptuous on October 15, 2008, 01:53:35 PM
Oh, christ! isn't it time to put this thread out to Pasteur?!  It's driving me emmental!
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: fomenter on October 15, 2008, 05:20:35 PM
if i thought about this thread to much Adelost my mind by now too
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: The Dark Monk on October 16, 2008, 06:30:31 AM
Yeah, this thread is the wurst.
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: AFK on October 16, 2008, 02:36:14 PM
This thread continues to please me grately. 
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: Elder Iptuous on October 16, 2008, 03:40:20 PM
Has it oc-curd to you that others suffer from the whey this thread continues?!?
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: fomenter on October 16, 2008, 05:56:40 PM
with such a Abondance of cheese varieties we will make there suffering last..
Title: Re: FAKE CHEESE MACHINE
Post by: singer on October 16, 2008, 06:34:34 PM
Cheez whiz.... when is enough enough already?