Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: phaedrusthemad on October 07, 2008, 05:20:04 PM

Title: Big Bird Brine
Post by: phaedrusthemad on October 07, 2008, 05:20:04 PM
In this house, Autumn means big birds.  My wife loves big birds.  I was never that fond until I stole this recipe.  You will need:

2 C. dark brown sugar
1 C. genuine maple syrup, not Aunt Jemima
¾ C. kosher salt
3 whole heads of garlic, (separate the cloves but do not peel them,) bruised.
6 bay leaves
¾ C. coarsely chopped, unpeeled fresh ginger
1 Tbs. dried chile flakes
1½ C. soy sauce
3 Qt. water
Handful of fresh thyme sprigs.

Large pot
5 gal. foodgrade bucket (liberate or buy a white bucket from a donut shop)


Combine all the brine ingredients in a large pot. Stir and bring to a simmer.  Remove from heat and let cool completely. Remove neck and giblets.  Rinse the bird well and put it in the cold brine. I use a 5 gallon bucket. Add water if the brine doesn't cover the bird.

Refrigerate and Soak for 3 to 4 days (4 days adds a LOT of flavor) turning the bird twice a day. That would be turning it top to bottom. 

Rinse.  Prepare as you please.

However prepared, the meat will be brown and juicy.   :D
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on October 07, 2008, 05:35:17 PM
Quote from: phaedrusthemad on October 07, 2008, 05:20:04 PM
In this house, Autumn means big birds.  My wife loves big birds.  I was never that fond until I stole this recipe.  You will need:

2 C. dark brown sugar
1 C. genuine maple syrup, not Aunt Jemima
¾ C. kosher salt
3 whole heads of garlic, (separate the cloves but do not peel them,) bruised.
6 bay leaves
¾ C. coarsely chopped, unpeeled fresh ginger
1 Tbs. dried chile flakes
1½ C. soy sauce
3 Qt. water
Handful of fresh thyme sprigs.

Large pot
5 gal. foodgrade bucket (liberate or buy a white bucket from a donut shop)


Combine all the brine ingredients in a large pot. Bring to a simmer, remove from heat and let cool completely. Remove neck and giblets and rinse the bird well and put it in the cold brine. I use a 5 gallon bucket. Add water if the brine doesn't cover the bird.

Refrigerate and Soak for 3 to 4 days (4 days adds a LOT of flavor) turning the bird twice a day. That would be turning it top to bottom. 

Rinse.  Prepare as you please.

However prepared, the meat will be brown and juicy.   :D


I think you'd need at least a 55 gallon drum to fit Big Bird in a brine, I dunno if a white 5 gal bucket would work at all...
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: phaedrusthemad on October 07, 2008, 05:42:42 PM
^True.

Recipe suitable for >20 lb. birds.  Rescale as necessary for emu, ostrich, or Big Bird.

(http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x210/walksinshadows/Sesame_street_thanksgiving.jpg)
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 07, 2008, 08:10:44 PM
I fucking love Thanksgiving and all that fucking cooking and the turkey and the ham! I LOVE IT! I am a shitty indian because not only do I completely disregard Day of Mourning when we are supposed to fast in honor of our murdered and enslaved ancestors, I actually cook up a feast and stuff my greedy fucking face with all the food that traditionally celebrates OUR HIDEOUS OPPRESSION AND SLAUGHTER but fuck me if I'm willing to stop because damn, that shit tastes good.
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on October 07, 2008, 08:13:31 PM
Well, the Thanksgiving meal can represent that, if that's the model being used... or it could be a continuation of the tradition started by the Native Americans, by sharing food with strangers. Just because the strangers ended up being assholes, doesn't negate the awesome benevolence, kindness and giving nature of those who lived here. Hell, it speaks far more to their honor, than to our nations bounty.

At least for me. ;-)
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 07, 2008, 08:27:03 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on October 07, 2008, 08:13:31 PM
Well, the Thanksgiving meal can represent that, if that's the model being used... or it could be a continuation of the tradition started by the Native Americans, by sharing food with strangers. Just because the strangers ended up being assholes, doesn't negate the awesome benevolence, kindness and giving nature of those who lived here. Hell, it speaks far more to their honor, than to our nations bounty.

At least for me. ;-)

It could be, as in a Jew could eat bacon on Channukah and make up some reason for it. I could do whatever I want. Turns out, I do!

But the actual holiday is called Day of Mourning and we're supposed to fast.
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: Suu on October 07, 2008, 09:50:22 PM
Trufax: The happy friendly Wampanoag tribe of MA/Eastern RI are the ones that fed the pilgrims...

The bitchy, cannibalistic "we want a casino and equal rights nao" Narragansett tribe of Southern Rhode Island killed everyone.

:mrgreen:
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 07, 2008, 10:30:03 PM
This is proof that not shooting intruders is a BAD IDEA.
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: phaedrusthemad on October 08, 2008, 01:05:55 AM
Quote from: Nigel on October 07, 2008, 08:27:03 PM
It could be, as in a Jew could eat bacon on Channukah and make up some reason for it. I could do whatever I want. Turns out, I do!

But the actual holiday is called Day of Mourning and we're supposed to fast.

I thought it was called Yom Kippur.
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 08, 2008, 07:00:43 AM
Quote from: phaedrusthemad on October 08, 2008, 01:05:55 AM
Quote from: Nigel on October 07, 2008, 08:27:03 PM
It could be, as in a Jew could eat bacon on Channukah and make up some reason for it. I could do whatever I want. Turns out, I do!

But the actual holiday is called Day of Mourning and we're supposed to fast.

I thought it was called Yom Kippur.

Yes, because American Indians are a lost tribe of Israel.
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: LMNO on October 08, 2008, 01:16:12 PM
Quote from: Suu on October 07, 2008, 09:50:22 PM
Trufax: The happy friendly Wampanoag tribe of MA/Eastern RI are the ones that fed the pilgrims...

The bitchy, cannibalistic "we want a casino and equal rights nao" Narragansett tribe of Southern Rhode Island killed everyone.

:mrgreen:

Quote from: Nigel on October 07, 2008, 10:30:03 PM
This is proof that not shooting intruders is a BAD IDEA.

:potd:
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: Suu on October 08, 2008, 06:49:22 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 08, 2008, 07:00:43 AM
Quote from: phaedrusthemad on October 08, 2008, 01:05:55 AM
Quote from: Nigel on October 07, 2008, 08:27:03 PM
It could be, as in a Jew could eat bacon on Channukah and make up some reason for it. I could do whatever I want. Turns out, I do!

But the actual holiday is called Day of Mourning and we're supposed to fast.

I thought it was called Yom Kippur.

Yes, because American Indians are a lost tribe of Israel.

:lulz:
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on July 24, 2012, 08:49:06 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on October 07, 2008, 08:10:44 PM
I fucking love Thanksgiving and all that fucking cooking and the turkey and the ham! I LOVE IT! I am a shitty indian because not only do I completely disregard Day of Mourning when we are supposed to fast in honor of our murdered and enslaved ancestors, I actually cook up a feast and stuff my greedy fucking face with all the food that traditionally celebrates OUR HIDEOUS OPPRESSION AND SLAUGHTER but fuck me if I'm willing to stop because damn, that shit tastes good.

And then Nigel shat turkey on the steps of the Bureau of Indian Affairs, and made the employees eat diseased blankets.

The End.
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on July 24, 2012, 08:55:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on October 07, 2008, 08:27:03 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on October 07, 2008, 08:13:31 PM
Well, the Thanksgiving meal can represent that, if that's the model being used... or it could be a continuation of the tradition started by the Native Americans, by sharing food with strangers. Just because the strangers ended up being assholes, doesn't negate the awesome benevolence, kindness and giving nature of those who lived here. Hell, it speaks far more to their honor, than to our nations bounty.

At least for me. ;-)

It could be, as in a Jew could eat bacon on Channukah and make up some reason for it. I could do whatever I want. Turns out, I do!

But the actual holiday is called Day of Mourning and we're supposed to fast.

A lot of Jews go out for Chinese on Christmas.
The reasoning is that "All Chinese food is kosher!"  :lulz:

Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 24, 2012, 08:49:06 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on October 07, 2008, 08:10:44 PM
I fucking love Thanksgiving and all that fucking cooking and the turkey and the ham! I LOVE IT! I am a shitty indian because not only do I completely disregard Day of Mourning when we are supposed to fast in honor of our murdered and enslaved ancestors, I actually cook up a feast and stuff my greedy fucking face with all the food that traditionally celebrates OUR HIDEOUS OPPRESSION AND SLAUGHTER but fuck me if I'm willing to stop because damn, that shit tastes good.

And then Nigel shat turkey on the steps of the Bureau of Indian Affairs, and made the employees eat diseased blankets.

The End.

This TOTALLY needs to happen.  :fap:
Title: Re: Big Bird Brine
Post by: East Coast Hustle on July 27, 2012, 06:12:42 AM
That's a good brine recipe. I know this because it's very nearly identical to mine. The maple syrup in the brine is the key to a transcendent roasted bird.