Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: Suu on October 28, 2008, 04:25:22 PM

Title: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 28, 2008, 04:25:22 PM
Green or yellow...CHOOSE WISELY.

(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2137.jpg) (my counter is gross, I know. Whatever the fuck it's made out of takes stains in seconds and then weeks to scrub it out.)

Fact is, they're different. Same fruit, completely different flavor, and for those that haven't actually had traditionally prepared plantains, they're actually very easy to make.

The unripened plantain is used to make the flattened salty starchy dish known as tostones. Which is very popular in the Dominican Republic and has it's place in Puerto Rican cooking as well. We'll be making this later on this evening.

When the plantain ripens, it turns yellow like a banana and the starch turns into sugar, which gives the plantain a flavor that is a bit more mellow than a traditional banana, and the bite is more firm, so it's not as mooshy and doesn't get bruised as easily.

Plátanos, or sweet yellow plantains, is the easiest of the two dishes. It's a very popular breakfast and snack food, especially in Puerto Rico.

(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2133.jpg) Peel and slice your yellow plantain in an oblong fashion. Taste a raw piece. if it's TOO sweet, they may be a bit over ripe so it's important to make sure they don't get mooshy and gross in the frying process.

(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2136.jpg) Throw them bitches in a small pan with oil that's pretty much ready to go on the stove.

(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2138.jpg) Get them to a nice golden color and remove from the oil, add more plantains and continue.

You can blot them if you want to remove excess oil, but if you do it right they shouldn't be slimy. (I apparently don't do it right, so Mr. Suu takes control.)

Enjoy your plátanos with toast, bacon, and a cup of Cafe Bustelo coffee!

Stay tuned tonight for Tostones!
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: LMNO on October 28, 2008, 04:28:50 PM
If it's taking on oil, it's not hot enough.

When the hot oil touches the moisture on the surface of the food, it should create steam, which means pressure forcing it's way OUT.  if the temperature isn't high enough, the oil seeps into the food.


PS - looks AWESOME.  Dirty counter and all.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Jenne on October 28, 2008, 04:34:08 PM
YUMMY PLANTAINS!  Makes me wanna go get some!
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 28, 2008, 04:35:54 PM
Quote from: Rabbi LMNO on October 28, 2008, 04:28:50 PM
If it's taking on oil, it's not hot enough.

When the hot oil touches the moisture on the surface of the food, it should create steam, which means pressure forcing it's way OUT.  if the temperature isn't high enough, the oil seeps into the food.


PS - looks AWESOME.  Dirty counter and all.

Yep, that's what Mr. Suu said, basic chemistry. I think I just get impatient and don't allow the oil to get hot enough where as he gets the pan going before he's finished peeling the things.

I just ate most of them.  :oops:
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Jenne on October 28, 2008, 04:37:50 PM
Quote from: Suu on October 28, 2008, 04:35:54 PM
Quote from: Rabbi LMNO on October 28, 2008, 04:28:50 PM
If it's taking on oil, it's not hot enough.

When the hot oil touches the moisture on the surface of the food, it should create steam, which means pressure forcing it's way OUT.  if the temperature isn't high enough, the oil seeps into the food.


PS - looks AWESOME.  Dirty counter and all.

Yep, that's what Mr. Suu said, basic chemistry. I think I just get impatient and don't allow the oil to get hot enough where as he gets the pan going before he's finished peeling the things.

I just ate most of them.  :oops:

Payback for the lack of potroast leftovers?!?
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 28, 2008, 04:43:02 PM
YES! That's what I'll tell him!

"YUO ATE ALL MAH MEET SO I EAT YOUR BANANAZ!"

:lmnuendo:
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 28, 2008, 04:44:50 PM
I've had plantains cooked as many ways as anyone could think of.

No matter how much I try to like them, I just don't.
I can't even figure out what it is about them that I don't like.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: LMNO on October 28, 2008, 04:46:56 PM
Too starchy?  Perhaps the mouth feel/texture?
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 28, 2008, 04:48:48 PM
Something about the taste I think.
I can eat starchy stuff no prob, there's just a ....


weirdness
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 28, 2008, 04:50:53 PM
I've found that if you really like bananas, you don't like plantains. And if you don't like bananas, you really fucking WON'T like plantains.

My sister eats a banana every morning because she's prone to leg cramps (I'm talking calf-locks. The ones that make you scream in the middle of the night) and needs the potassium, but she really doesn't like plantains, raw or fried.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 28, 2008, 05:10:31 PM
That might be it.
I really love bananas and a plantain is not a banana but it looks like one so it tricks my brain.

Like if cake tasted like mashed potatoes.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Darth Cupcake on October 28, 2008, 05:15:22 PM
Quote from: Squiddy on October 28, 2008, 05:10:31 PM
That might be it.
I really love bananas and a plantain is not a banana but it looks like one so it tricks my brain.

Like if cake tasted like mashed potatoes.


Actually, someone on a baking community made meat cupcakes--meatloaf, with mashed potato "frosting." So there you go, ALL YOUR FEARS ARE MANIFEST :eek:

Also, I recall the plantains at the Memorial Day Pork Shoulder Cabal being AWESOME. I wanna try making my own sometime. For funsies.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 28, 2008, 05:17:33 PM
Meat cakes are fucking WRONG.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 28, 2008, 05:18:12 PM
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on October 28, 2008, 05:17:33 PM
Meat cakes are fucking WRONG.

agreed
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: LMNO on October 28, 2008, 05:20:28 PM
: points to the cheese-filled meatloaf :

EXCUSE ME!?
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 28, 2008, 05:22:13 PM
WRONNNNG
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: LMNO on October 28, 2008, 05:23:19 PM
:walken:
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 28, 2008, 05:24:46 PM
ESPECIALLy cheese-filled meatloaf

what the hell
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: LMNO on October 28, 2008, 05:25:17 PM
:mccain:
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 28, 2008, 05:26:06 PM
Quote from: Squiddy on October 28, 2008, 05:10:31 PM
That might be it.
I really love bananas and a plantain is not a banana but it looks like one so it tricks my brain.

Like if cake tasted like mashed potatoes.



The banana family is weird. Because technically, a plantain is a banana, they aren't even that genetically dissimilar, but taste and texture wise they're very different. Same with bananitos, which I grew in Florida. They look like adorable mini bananas and then are so fucking tart they're hard to eat.

My parents new house has plantains and bananitos. Nothing is ready yet though. My mom is surprised that they have that much fruit on trees this year and my brother apparently got very excited when he reached up to check what kind of banana they had and found it was a plantain.

Quote from: Darth Cupcake on October 28, 2008, 05:15:22 PM
Actually, someone on a baking community made meat cupcakes--meatloaf, with mashed potato "frosting." So there you go, ALL YOUR FEARS ARE MANIFEST :eek:

Also, I recall the plantains at the Memorial Day Pork Shoulder Cabal being AWESOME. I wanna try making my own sometime. For funsies.

CUPSTEAKS!
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Jenne on October 28, 2008, 05:56:15 PM
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on October 28, 2008, 05:24:46 PM
ESPECIALLy cheese-filled meatloaf

what the hell

:lulz:
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 28, 2008, 06:04:24 PM
I am apparently the only person in the world who isn't absolutely wild for cheese.


I mean, it's okay.  I guess.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: LMNO on October 28, 2008, 06:05:29 PM
Fine.  What if I filled the meatloaf with BACON!?
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 28, 2008, 06:06:47 PM
Bacon is all right.  I'd skip the meatloaf, though.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 28, 2008, 06:12:21 PM
Speaking of meatloaf...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCwKozdkzms
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Jenne on October 28, 2008, 06:17:00 PM
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on October 28, 2008, 06:06:47 PM
Bacon is all right.  I'd skip the meatloaf, though.

:cry:  Too many haters on the meatloaf!  ...but really, I used to hate it too.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 28, 2008, 06:20:35 PM
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on October 28, 2008, 06:12:21 PM
Speaking of meatloaf...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCwKozdkzms

That topped Hannibal and Rocky Horror right there. - Richter

I MUST see this film version!
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 28, 2008, 06:22:30 PM
Titus is seriously Hopkins' best performance, ever.  Bar none.  It's my most favorite movie.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 28, 2008, 06:31:42 PM
I know that it came out in the slew of Shakespearean movies they did for a while in which the setting wasn't period for the play, so I missed it and heard it was terribly underrated. I mean, it only had Ten Things I Hate About You, O, and two versions of Hamlet to compete with.  :roll:

Not to mention it's definitely not one of Shakespeare's more popular plays, for obvious reasons.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 28, 2008, 06:34:06 PM
Well, now you know.  Go watch it!  Just ignore the very end, which is kinda gay.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on October 28, 2008, 06:41:31 PM
Quote from: Squiddy on October 28, 2008, 05:10:31 PM
That might be it.
I really love bananas and a plantain is not a banana but it looks like one so it tricks my brain.

Like if cake tasted like mashed potatoes.


This makes sense. When you put something in your mouth expecting it to taste and feel like something, and it doesn't, the reaction is usually negative. That's why I don't like grits: when I was little (like 8 or something) I got grits when I was expecting mashed potatoes. Result: :vom:
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 28, 2008, 06:51:33 PM
My mom did that to me with pickled beets and cranberry sauce.

"Is that cranberry sauce?!"

"Yes sweetie, here eat!"

"Yum!" *bite* *spit*  :x
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 28, 2008, 07:24:11 PM
pickled beets > cranberry goop
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Jenne on October 28, 2008, 07:25:41 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on October 28, 2008, 07:24:11 PM
pickled beets > cranberry goop

Word.

The cranberry relish my mom makes fresh pawns all.  She puts orange peel and a bunch of yummy shit I don't remember in it.  The cranberry jelly stuff is yuck.  Always chemical-tasting, actually.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 28, 2008, 07:48:47 PM
yeah.

cranberry sauce/relish/jelly/whatever should NOT end up on my plate in uniform 2" circular slices.

that's fucking nast.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 28, 2008, 07:56:37 PM
 I never said it was a delicacy, but for an 8-9 year old expecting cranberry sauce, beets are fucking disgusting.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Jenne on October 28, 2008, 07:57:30 PM
That WOULD be quite the MF.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 28, 2008, 08:31:14 PM
That and the classic, "Sweet potatoes taste like candy" bit.  :|
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Darth Cupcake on October 28, 2008, 08:32:38 PM
Quote from: Suu on October 28, 2008, 08:31:14 PM
That and the classic, "Sweet potatoes taste like candy" bit.  :|

Oh man, I loooooove sweet potatoes.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 28, 2008, 08:34:51 PM
I do now.

I didn't 10 years ago, that's for sure. I still won't eat beets.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Darth Cupcake on October 28, 2008, 08:47:29 PM
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/WILDFLOWER-HONEY-AND-WHISKY-GLAZED-SWEET-POTATOES-240460

I must make that.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on October 29, 2008, 01:53:56 PM
Quote from: Suu on October 28, 2008, 08:31:14 PM
That and the classic, "Sweet potatoes taste like candy" bit.  :|

:lol: Yeah, my mom still says that. I like them ok, and will eat them if served to me, but won't go out of my way to make them unless it's sweet potato fries.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 29, 2008, 02:25:02 PM
Tostones didn't happen last night because we had a wedding rehearsal dinner. They will come...uh...eventually.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Eve on October 29, 2008, 02:26:12 PM
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on October 29, 2008, 01:53:56 PM
Quote from: Suu on October 28, 2008, 08:31:14 PM
That and the classic, "Sweet potatoes taste like candy" bit.  :|

:lol: Yeah, my mom still says that. I like them ok, and will eat them if served to me, but won't go out of my way to make them unless it's sweet potato fries.

Holy crap, sweet potato fries are delicious. Now I want some. :(
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 29, 2008, 02:45:27 PM
Quote from: Eve on October 29, 2008, 02:26:12 PM
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on October 29, 2008, 01:53:56 PM
Quote from: Suu on October 28, 2008, 08:31:14 PM
That and the classic, "Sweet potatoes taste like candy" bit.  :|

:lol: Yeah, my mom still says that. I like them ok, and will eat them if served to me, but won't go out of my way to make them unless it's sweet potato fries.

Holy crap, sweet potato fries are delicious. Now I want some. :(

The Red Parrot in Newport has THE BEST ONES EVAR
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Eve on October 29, 2008, 02:54:18 PM
Quote from: Suu on October 29, 2008, 02:45:27 PM
Quote from: Eve on October 29, 2008, 02:26:12 PM
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on October 29, 2008, 01:53:56 PM
Quote from: Suu on October 28, 2008, 08:31:14 PM
That and the classic, "Sweet potatoes taste like candy" bit.  :|

:lol: Yeah, my mom still says that. I like them ok, and will eat them if served to me, but won't go out of my way to make them unless it's sweet potato fries.

Holy crap, sweet potato fries are delicious. Now I want some. :(

The Red Parrot in Newport has THE BEST ONES EVAR

TITCM. Must go back soooon!
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 29, 2008, 02:56:53 PM
Quote from: Eve on October 29, 2008, 02:54:18 PM
Quote from: Suu on October 29, 2008, 02:45:27 PM
Quote from: Eve on October 29, 2008, 02:26:12 PM
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on October 29, 2008, 01:53:56 PM
Quote from: Suu on October 28, 2008, 08:31:14 PM
That and the classic, "Sweet potatoes taste like candy" bit.  :|

:lol: Yeah, my mom still says that. I like them ok, and will eat them if served to me, but won't go out of my way to make them unless it's sweet potato fries.

Holy crap, sweet potato fries are delicious. Now I want some. :(

The Red Parrot in Newport has THE BEST ONES EVAR

TITCM. Must go back soooon!

Bickfords has some too, but not NEARLY as good as the Red Parrot. Seriously, there is nothing better than going to the Red Parrot in the dead of January when it's like 20 degrees outside and sipping a pina colada and eating sweet potato fries. That place fucking rocks.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on October 29, 2008, 03:09:11 PM
Sweet Potato fries and homemade ketchup at Peddler's Daughter FTW. Relatively small Irish pub with a small menu, but everything on it (at least so far that I've had) is delicious. Their ketchup and tartar sauce is homemade and completely awesome. I need to go again soon  :sad:, if only for the sweet potato fries

Oh wow, looks like they've expanded their menu quite a bit. Haven't been there since March. I think we went there for St. Patricks Day. Not to eat, but we did have dinner there shortly before that, maybe Feb.  Now I really wanna go back :(

http://www.thepeddlersdaughter.com/finemeals.php?l=h
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Darth Cupcake on October 29, 2008, 03:13:55 PM
Haverhill?! I am sad. :cry:
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on October 29, 2008, 05:10:24 PM
It's only a short walk from the train station (about 5 min)!!

There's also one in Nashua apparently, but that doesn't help much.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on October 29, 2008, 11:28:09 PM
TOSTONES!

(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2143.jpg)

Peel, chop, and fry. (Note how the cut plantain is more chunky this time.)

(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2140.jpg)
(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2141.jpg)
(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2144.jpg)
(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2150.jpg)

After they're fried, smash with the special smasher. (Mr. Suu says that if you don't have a smasher use two plates.)

(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2142.jpg)
(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2151.jpg)
(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2152.jpg)
(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2153.jpg)
(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2154.jpg)

Fry again.

(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2155.jpg)

Lightly salt (and pepper, I threw some black pepper on mine) and enjoy!

(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a356/theonlyang/100_2156.jpg)
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Triple Zero on November 01, 2008, 07:12:21 PM
holy shit that last pic looks absolutely delicious! also the .. fried cheese sandwiches? with red onion? or egg? and what are the brown thingies?

i dont think i've ever seen plantains in the supermarkets here, there are sometimes bananas called "baking bananas", but they're not green, actually more brown/spotted than "regular" bananas and larger, like twice as thick.

would it work with regular bananas that are still green perhaps? maybe it's not the same, but now i really feel like frying bananas.

and my opinion about sweet potatoes is .. meh. theyre considered "exotic food" here, which means i have no idea how to properly prepare them. if i boil or fry them like regular potatoes, they turn out like regular potatoes but sweeter. which is wrong. potatoes shouldnt be sweet, so these "sweet potatoes" are going to have to be made into something non-potatoesque, because the sweet doesn't seem to want to go, right?

and meat pies... well i had haggis pie in Edinburgh last August, and I liked it. I figure if I like haggies pie, I can like all meat pies, right?
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Suu on November 01, 2008, 07:33:33 PM
The grilled cheese has tomato slices on it.  :D

And no, regular bananas are still too full of sugar and will caramelize like the yellow plantains rather than fry evenly for the tostones.

And a baking banana would be a plantain, you just get the yellow ripe ones instead of the green starchy kind.
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Triple Zero on November 01, 2008, 10:56:07 PM
hey yeah, looking this up on the dutch wikipedia, i see that "banana crisps" are made of plantains and not bananas as well! they're delicious and crunchy :)
Title: Re: Plátanos y Tostones! (Wait, what? Plantains and plantains?)
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on November 02, 2008, 11:09:25 PM
I had some fried plantains today and I liked em.
Maybe the ones I've had before were crap, or my taste has changed.