I am unsure if it is still true, but at one point, Tucson had the more nukes aimed at it than any other place on Earth. The number was something like 32 MIRV buses with 5 bombs on each, for a staggering total of 160 city busters. The reason for this absurd number of bombs is, of course, Davis-Monthan AFB, which is the mothball yard for the Air Force.
There are more serviceable aircraft parked there than there are combat aircraft in any of the world's Air Forces, including the remainder of the US Air Force...so the Russians had it on the Make Damn Good and Sure That These Fuckers Are Dead list.
But it wouldn't really work out that way.
No, what would happen today, should we go at it with the Russians, is that they would ALL miss, land on the wrong side of the Santa Ritas, and blow Sonora all to hell and gone. Why? Because this is Tucson.
Yes, this is Tucson, and even if the world went kaboom, Tucson would survive, because God just isn't kind enough to let us die. You would see Lord Humongous being cuffed up against his souped-up front end loader on the highway, and Wes would be getting a ticket in 3 Points.
And I would still have to go to work. The only difference would be that it would be harder to get parts. I'd just leave the survey meter (radiation detector) in my office window, and when it started clicking, I'd know that the UPS truck had arrived.
Work has, in fact, kept me so busy for the last few weeks that I simply haven't had time for anything else other than getting together with Maria, and seeing my people. For a week, I literally lived in my office. Don't ever do that. Trust The Good Reverend: Even if you have your own bathroom w/shower, it just isn't worth it. You forget what's important, and you never get to tend to your people.
And they are my people. You can tell by the way they all flee at my approach, as if I had the mange. Sure, you COULD say they are simply worried that I'd do that Horrible Thing to one of them again, right in public, but the fact is they are clearing the street out of respect for their Rain God. For better or worse, they are my people, and I am their king.
Did Elvis ever have to deal with this crap? With a hideous excuse for a landlord stealing his cactus, and then nailing doors shut, trapping random tenants in their apartments? Did Johnny Cash ever have to deal with a freak like Sister Gothique getting inspiration from all the wrong things, and beating the mortal shit out of her ex-boyfriend...in fact, beating him so badly that he moved to California, got fat, and went emo? I am also pretty damn sure that Porter Waggoner never had cops harassing him over trivial complaints from obviously deranged neighbors.
It's like the wheels are falling off. Everything is breaking down, and nobody seems to notice. Even the Mormons are surly (Apparently, they aren't receiving the admiration they expected from their efforts in Propositions 8 (CA) and 102 (AZ). Go figure.), and the dirty boys on Grant Road can't be bothered to curb random passers-by. 4th Avenue is a graveyard, and the owners of the sex shops say they may have to close down and find straight jobs. Good luck with that...Tucson lost 50,000 jobs in the last 60 days.
It's all spiraling out of control...you can sense the desperation in the streets, in the bodegas, and in the alleys where the Snowbirds used to get all weird with the stranger locals. There is no joy in Mudville, and in fact, Mighty Casey has left town (Literally. The Diamondbacks are moving to Reno, the scum-sucking stadium whores that they are.)
So The Good Reverend is quitting Cactus. There. I said it. There is simply too much bad weirdness and depravity to allow your head to go South, even on vacation. You can't turn your back on anyone, these days, and people believe in all the wrong things. Hell, I saw a twenty-something girl the other day with "Obama '08" tattooed on her lower back. Oh, Goddammit.
But have no fear...The Good Reverend will tell all, as the horrible days grind on in this horrible summer that will never end (It's still in the 80s at noon), so that you may read these strange tidings, and feel really goddamn glad you don't live in the high desert.
Or Kill Me.
4th avenue falling apart sucks.
Quote from: Requiem on November 30, 2008, 07:16:59 AM
4th avenue falling apart sucks.
You are familiar with our little avenue of sleeze?
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Also, great to have you back, Roger! :D Missed ya bunches!
And, holy...fucking...shit.
Thank you Roger.
Quote from: Jenne on November 30, 2008, 07:53:14 AM
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Also, great to have you back, Roger! :D Missed ya bunches!
And, holy...fucking...shit.
I grew my hair back in a bit, and it's trapping the hate in. I think my scalp is bubbling up.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 30, 2008, 08:05:03 AM
Quote from: Jenne on November 30, 2008, 07:53:14 AM
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Also, great to have you back, Roger! :D Missed ya bunches!
And, holy...fucking...shit.
I grew my hair back in a bit, and it's trapping the hate in. I think my scalp is bubbling up.
You're truly ginger again, eh? Maria eased up on the bet?
Don't trap the hate for too long, man, you know it means that thing could blow at any time.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 30, 2008, 08:04:17 AM
Quote from: brennschluss on November 30, 2008, 07:59:56 AM
Thank you Roger.
What have you done with Sepia? :sad:
Sepia went with all my other sepias, felt like a change, new winds blowing on the tundra, fresh meat in the grinder and stuff like that. Good to see you back Mr.
Quote from: Jenne on November 30, 2008, 08:07:48 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 30, 2008, 08:05:03 AM
Quote from: Jenne on November 30, 2008, 07:53:14 AM
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Also, great to have you back, Roger! :D Missed ya bunches!
And, holy...fucking...shit.
I grew my hair back in a bit, and it's trapping the hate in. I think my scalp is bubbling up.
You're truly ginger again, eh? Maria eased up on the bet?
Don't trap the hate for too long, man, you know it means that thing could blow at any time.
That's the general idea. :)
Quote from: brennschluss on November 30, 2008, 08:20:54 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 30, 2008, 08:04:17 AM
Quote from: brennschluss on November 30, 2008, 07:59:56 AM
Thank you Roger.
What have you done with Sepia? :sad:
Sepia went with all my other sepias, felt like a change, new winds blowing on the tundra, fresh meat in the grinder and stuff like that. Good to see you back Mr.
Ah, I see. Just threw me for a loop.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 30, 2008, 07:20:04 AM
Quote from: Requiem on November 30, 2008, 07:16:59 AM
4th avenue falling apart sucks.
You are familiar with our little avenue of sleeze?
Only from your descriptions. Which I'm not sure if I should believe. In my head however, it is a mythic place full of grime and magical ass lube. Kinda like the good side of the street in Sugarhouse used to be here in Salt Lake.
Pleased to see you back in force.
Quote from: Requiem on November 30, 2008, 10:19:59 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 30, 2008, 07:20:04 AM
Quote from: Requiem on November 30, 2008, 07:16:59 AM
4th avenue falling apart sucks.
You are familiar with our little avenue of sleeze?
Only from your descriptions. Which I'm not sure if I should believe. In my head however, it is a mythic place full of grime and magical ass lube. Kinda like the good side of the street in Sugarhouse used to be here in Salt Lake.
Actually, it looks distressingly normal...in the daytime. At night, it's your own personal ticket to the freak show.
Quote from: Nigel on November 30, 2008, 01:28:01 PM
Pleased to see you back in force.
Glad to be back. I don't know why I stopped writing.
Hey Rog, good to see you back! Good rant, too.
Hella good rant.
ROCK ON YA OLD FUCK!
This is EXACTLY what i enjoy reading while watching everything else falling appart around me.. Glad to have ya back!
Great rant!
I'm glad you're back!!
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 30, 2008, 07:20:04 AM
Quote from: Requiem on November 30, 2008, 07:16:59 AM
4th avenue falling apart sucks.
You are familiar with our little avenue of sleeze?
I second the motion. 4th Ave was my favorite part of Tucson, I used to live at the corner of that street and University Blvd. It was good to know that if things ever went too far South, I could just walk a block or so down the road and set up shop.
Quote from: vexati0n on December 02, 2008, 05:58:01 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 30, 2008, 07:20:04 AM
Quote from: Requiem on November 30, 2008, 07:16:59 AM
4th avenue falling apart sucks.
You are familiar with our little avenue of sleeze?
I second the motion. 4th Ave was my favorite part of Tucson, I used to live at the corner of that street and University Blvd. It was good to know that if things ever went too far South, I could just walk a block or so down the road and set up shop.
No shit? Small world.
By the way, Filthy Jack's went out of business last week. :cry:
Bump, because it's still true.
Bump AGAIN, because it's more true than ever.
Quote from: Requia ☣ on November 30, 2008, 07:16:59 AM
4th avenue falling apart sucks.
"FOOLS!", an old man shouted on 4th Avenue, "FOOLS! This trap you're in, this tunnel, it has light at
both ends! You CAN escape, if only you have the guts to either go forward or turn around! You don't HAVE to live in this darkness! Don't you understand? Is life so worthless to you that you sit in cubicles and obey the tyrant time clock? GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN God never meant you to live this way!"
I thought about his words, while two cops thumped on him a bit and hauled him off into their squad car. But my lunch hour was just about up, so I hopped in the Jeep and went back to work.
Perspective is realizing this was written a year and a half ago.
A year and a half, and what's so different? Now I WANT the javelinas imported, to run through the streets and the malls. Those of us who want an apocalyptic free - for all, we're going to have to earn it. It's not enough to tear out of mom and dad's garage dressed like a Smegma Crazy, you'll be hauled away in an instant, and sent to the place where they make the recidivists into cat food. Max and Fifi are the everyday folks trying to have some fun whiel holding together, and some silly fuck has the Toecutter running the police.
Quote from: Richter on May 11, 2010, 07:05:44 PM
Perspective is realizing this was written a year and a half ago.
A year and a half, and what's so different? Now I WANT the javelinas imported, to run through the streets and the malls.
In another year and a half, they WILL be, but by then
you won't care.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 07:07:27 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 11, 2010, 07:05:44 PM
Perspective is realizing this was written a year and a half ago.
A year and a half, and what's so different? Now I WANT the javelinas imported, to run through the streets and the malls.
In another year and a half, they WILL be, but by then you won't care.
I REALLY need to install that bar on my spear for pig hunting.
Dok, I want people to remember that the woods are cold and unsafe at night. Secure, safe, warm, and fed are worth more than we take them for.
Quote from: Richter on May 11, 2010, 07:20:37 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 07:07:27 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 11, 2010, 07:05:44 PM
Perspective is realizing this was written a year and a half ago.
A year and a half, and what's so different? Now I WANT the javelinas imported, to run through the streets and the malls.
In another year and a half, they WILL be, but by then you won't care.
I REALLY need to install that bar on my spear for pig hunting.
Dok, I want people to remember that the woods are cold and unsafe at night. Secure, safe, warm, and fed are worth more than we take them for.
Oh, yes. Lots of things are taken for granted. Security, food, shelter, friends, loved ones, all the things we treat with casual contempt or amiable disdain. You never realize what they're worth til you go without.
They haven't lost before Roger. They'll go ferral in an instant, lay seige to Cambridge to bucket brigade back water over the HINT of a problem, but they don' t know how valuable solid people are.
Quote from: Richter on May 11, 2010, 08:47:23 PM
They haven't lost before Roger. They'll go ferral in an instant, lay seige to Cambridge to bucket brigade back water over the HINT of a problem, but they don' t know how valuable solid people are.
Most never do. They've been raised by the TV, by sitcoms that teach them that the proper way to treat friends is with sarcasm, and the proper way to be funny is via humiliation of others.
between the death threats that are STILL being thrown about from the 'San Diego Planners,' the constant crap spewed forth in our direction by most of the fucking networks that want to be trendy bandwagon-riding-fucktards and the chicken-mc-faggots that are always talking talking talking about their half-thought 'plans to save the nation' sitting around UofA
i cant seem to get my brain out of 'murderous rage' mode
i find myself screaming at cars that refuse more and more to acknowledge the fact that IT IS IM-FUCKING-POSSIBLE TO WATCH THE ROAD AND TEXT AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME, AND IF YOU DONT THROW ASIDE YOUR MOTHER FUCKING SMARTPHONE I AM GOING TO T-BONE YOU JUST TO LAUGH
I find myself more threatened by the increasingly close walls that confine me in my little world, and even when i escape tucson to go to other parts of this tzu-forsaken-world i cant help but sit there behind my pane of glass enclosed in my rubber-supported iron jacket and say 'well, at least THOSE fucktards aren't in Tucson'
always followed up by a 'yet' and a shudder
i am rather scared of the fact that you wrote that over a year ago and nothing has changed... when is the promised 'time of change' going to slowly roll into Tucson?
Quote from: Manabu on May 14, 2010, 03:01:43 AM
between the death threats that are STILL being thrown about from the 'San Diego Planners,'
STILL needing some evidence of this.
The following is a knee-jerk response to use of the word "faggot" by someone I don't know well enough:
Go suck a dick.
Quote from: LMNO on May 14, 2010, 04:19:34 PM
The following is a knee-jerk response to use of the word "faggot" by someone I don't know well enough:
Go suck a dick.
Yep.
Quote from: Manabu on May 14, 2010, 03:01:43 AM
i am rather scared of the fact that you wrote that over a year ago and nothing has changed... when is the promised 'time of change' going to slowly roll into Tucson?
Right now, as a matter of fact, based on 3 laws signed by governor Brewer.
Quote from: Manabu on May 14, 2010, 03:01:43 AM
the constant crap spewed forth in our direction by most of the fucking networks that want to be trendy bandwagon-riding-fucktards and the chicken-mc-faggots that are always talking talking talking about their half-thought 'plans to save the nation' sitting around UofA
While I am against any plans to save the nation, I'm kind of curious about the whole faggots thing.
You know what, Dok, everytime I think I'm embracing entropy, I find out I'm just embracing my need for slack. Because I get woken up out of it once the SMACK! DOOOONNNNGGG! reverberation keeps going through my head once I've been upside it with the 2 by 4 of life.
Quote from: LMNO on May 14, 2010, 04:19:34 PM
The following is a knee-jerk response to use of the word "faggot" by someone I don't know well enough:
Go suck a dick.
I feel the same way.
Quote from: Manabu on May 14, 2010, 03:01:43 AM
between the death threats that are STILL being thrown about from the 'San Diego Planners,' the constant crap spewed forth in our direction by most of the fucking networks that want to be trendy bandwagon-riding-fucktards and the chicken-mc-faggots that are always talking talking talking about their half-thought 'plans to save the nation' sitting around UofA
i cant seem to get my brain out of 'murderous rage' mode
i find myself screaming at cars that refuse more and more to acknowledge the fact that IT IS IM-FUCKING-POSSIBLE TO WATCH THE ROAD AND TEXT AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME, AND IF YOU DONT THROW ASIDE YOUR MOTHER FUCKING SMARTPHONE I AM GOING TO T-BONE YOU JUST TO LAUGH
I find myself more threatened by the increasingly close walls that confine me in my little world, and even when i escape tucson to go to other parts of this tzu-forsaken-world i cant help but sit there behind my pane of glass enclosed in my rubber-supported iron jacket and say 'well, at least THOSE fucktards aren't in Tucson'
always followed up by a 'yet' and a shudder
i am rather scared of the fact that you wrote that over a year ago and nothing has changed... when is the promised 'time of change' going to slowly roll into Tucson?
Jenne,
A "San Diego Planner"
Because I believe in education, health and welfare rights to all in the US.
AND I fucking live in San Diego.
You're welcome. *shit-eating grin*
Quote from: Jenne on May 14, 2010, 07:28:04 PM
Quote from: Manabu on May 14, 2010, 03:01:43 AM
between the death threats that are STILL being thrown about from the 'San Diego Planners,' the constant crap spewed forth in our direction by most of the fucking networks that want to be trendy bandwagon-riding-fucktards and the chicken-mc-faggots that are always talking talking talking about their half-thought 'plans to save the nation' sitting around UofA
i cant seem to get my brain out of 'murderous rage' mode
i find myself screaming at cars that refuse more and more to acknowledge the fact that IT IS IM-FUCKING-POSSIBLE TO WATCH THE ROAD AND TEXT AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME, AND IF YOU DONT THROW ASIDE YOUR MOTHER FUCKING SMARTPHONE I AM GOING TO T-BONE YOU JUST TO LAUGH
I find myself more threatened by the increasingly close walls that confine me in my little world, and even when i escape tucson to go to other parts of this tzu-forsaken-world i cant help but sit there behind my pane of glass enclosed in my rubber-supported iron jacket and say 'well, at least THOSE fucktards aren't in Tucson'
always followed up by a 'yet' and a shudder
i am rather scared of the fact that you wrote that over a year ago and nothing has changed... when is the promised 'time of change' going to slowly roll into Tucson?
Jenne,
A "San Diego Planner"
Because I believe in education, health and welfare rights to all in the US.
AND I fucking live in San Diego.
You're welcome. *shit-eating grin*
What the fuck is a Sand Diego Planner? All I find is weird RWN sites.
I was makin' it up as I went along/using his context. I have no clue, and as far as I can tell, it's mythical bullshit.
Quote from: Jenne on May 14, 2010, 07:58:09 PM
I was makin' it up as I went along/using his context. I have no clue, and as far as I can tell, it's mythical bullshit.
Yeah, I kinda thought so.