Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: Richter on January 12, 2009, 04:12:06 PM

Title: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: Richter on January 12, 2009, 04:12:06 PM
I hit up Trader Joe's on Saturday with Suu for more of the bowel rending curry I am growing to love so.  As we perused the cheese offerings, we see a "Celtic Cheddar".  The resulting tirade was rougly as follows:

"CELTIC?  Why not just label it ambiguous trendy marketing based off a tremendously wide ranging and diverse group of peoples?  DO you mean IRISH?  This makes me want to take that cheese, partially liquify it in a broiler Alton Brown style, find a new age "Druid", flip up his fuckign white robes, and shove it straight up his a...  Oh look, Mozzarella." 

At this point the tirade aborted as I saw a mother with small children.  Several folks sidled away.  One friendly lady advised me of the quality of the mozzarella.   

The cheese itself was OK.  An interesting midpoint between a Vermont cheddar and a good Parmesan. 
Suu got some, we ate most of it with bread.  I also sandwiched some in chicken breast with fresh basil and garlic.  Came out good.  I'd repeat, just with a bit less basil (it overrode the cheese more than I wanted.)
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: AFK on January 12, 2009, 04:25:09 PM
Hey, is Celtic Cheese more Parishable than other Cheeses?   
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: Payne on January 12, 2009, 04:33:23 PM
No, it'll just get you glassed by Rangers fans if you accidentally walk into the wrong pub with it.
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: indigoblade on January 12, 2009, 04:57:49 PM
Quote from: Payne on January 12, 2009, 04:33:23 PM
No, it'll just get you glassed by Rangers fans if you accidentally walk into the wrong pub with it.
Or be taken over by a roman cheese and be subdued by the roman cheeses superiour military strength, tactics and weapons.
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 12, 2009, 05:18:54 PM
Quote from: indigoblade on January 12, 2009, 04:57:49 PM
Quote from: Payne on January 12, 2009, 04:33:23 PM
No, it'll just get you glassed by Rangers fans if you accidentally walk into the wrong pub with it.
Or be taken over by a roman cheese and be subdued by the roman cheeses superiour military strength, tactics and weapons.

Or it will become a catchphrase and widely misused symbol for some fad/religious movement that roughly bases itself on pretty much anything it perceives to be outside of Christian tradition.
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: indigoblade on January 12, 2009, 05:30:19 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 12, 2009, 05:18:54 PM
Quote from: indigoblade on January 12, 2009, 04:57:49 PM
Quote from: Payne on January 12, 2009, 04:33:23 PM
No, it'll just get you glassed by Rangers fans if you accidentally walk into the wrong pub with it.
Or be taken over by a roman cheese and be subdued by the roman cheeses superiour military strength, tactics and weapons.

Or it will become a catchphrase and widely misused symbol for some fad/religious movement that roughly bases itself on pretty much anything it perceives to be outside of Christian tradition.
:lulz:
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: Richter on January 12, 2009, 05:46:13 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 12, 2009, 05:18:54 PM
Quote from: indigoblade on January 12, 2009, 04:57:49 PM
Quote from: Payne on January 12, 2009, 04:33:23 PM
No, it'll just get you glassed by Rangers fans if you accidentally walk into the wrong pub with it.
Or be taken over by a roman cheese and be subdued by the roman cheeses superiour military strength, tactics and weapons.

Or it will become a catchphrase and widely misused symbol for some fad/religious movement that roughly bases itself on pretty much anything it perceives to be outside of Christian tradition.

This is EXACTLY the shit that pisses me off.
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 12, 2009, 05:57:35 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 12, 2009, 05:46:13 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 12, 2009, 05:18:54 PM
Quote from: indigoblade on January 12, 2009, 04:57:49 PM
Quote from: Payne on January 12, 2009, 04:33:23 PM
No, it'll just get you glassed by Rangers fans if you accidentally walk into the wrong pub with it.
Or be taken over by a roman cheese and be subdued by the roman cheeses superiour military strength, tactics and weapons.

Or it will become a catchphrase and widely misused symbol for some fad/religious movement that roughly bases itself on pretty much anything it perceives to be outside of Christian tradition.

This is EXACTLY the shit that pisses me off.

Whut? Yuo mean THIS isn't historically accurate? :eek:

(http://content-0.powells.com/cgi-bin/imageDB.cgi?isbn=9780875421360)


*runs and hides*
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: Bruno on January 12, 2009, 06:21:40 PM
Little known fact: The Celts all had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: Richter on January 12, 2009, 08:16:31 PM
Little known fact:  This cheese MUST be stocked in the back of the dairy case.  Once Italian cheeses have formed an empire and have kicked it out, extracted tribute, killed it's leaders, and pushed it to the farthest corner of the chilled good empire, then it is aged enough to sell.
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: AFK on January 12, 2009, 08:18:51 PM
The real test of a cheese is whether or not it makes a good Grilled Cheese sandwhich.  If it doesn't, it is of no use in the WHN house. 
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 13, 2009, 06:46:12 AM
this thread is LOL  :lulz:
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: indigoblade on January 13, 2009, 07:47:37 AM
Quote from: Squid-diddle on January 13, 2009, 06:46:12 AM
this thread is LOL  :lulz:
2nded :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: Richter on January 13, 2009, 01:48:13 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on January 12, 2009, 08:18:51 PM
The real test of a cheese is whether or not it makes a good Grilled Cheese sandwhich.  If it doesn't, it is of no use in the WHN house. 

Suu made a grilled cheese of it on whole wheat nan.  Said it was OK, but the bread was thick, and tricky to heat all the way through.
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: Cain on January 13, 2009, 01:59:17 PM
Quote from: Jerry_Frankster on January 12, 2009, 06:21:40 PM
Little known fact: The Celts all had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

To anyone who has had the misfortune to live in Glasgow and meet their fans, this is widely known.
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: Bruno on January 13, 2009, 02:57:54 PM
I had an English literature class a couple of semesters ago where we were studying literature from the Middle Ages. One of the books we had to read was Beowulf. (I know, those were Geats, but still...) At one point she gave us a handout describing the characteristics of that particular culture. It basically read like a checklist of the symptoms of FAS.

At some point I pointed out this little observation of mine. She was not amused.
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: Cain on January 13, 2009, 03:47:47 PM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: The Celtic Cheese Incident
Post by: Suu on January 14, 2009, 07:47:54 PM
I just saw this thread.  :lulz:

I almost joined him in the tirade...til I saw the kids myself.

What's so Celtic about cheese anyway? Because it's from Ireland? Because it has intricate stolen-from-the-Greeks knotwork on it? What if it was a Gaul Celt rather than an Irish Celt? A Spanish Celt? Sicilian Celt? Larry Byrd?

I want historical evidence presented to me on the origin of Celtic cheddar cheese or Celtic cheeses in general.


Oh man I feel a TCC troll coming on...