(Perhaps this is the place for this post, perhaps not, I just assume this is the best place on the boards to get a message out to the man himself)
Another fine mess I've gotten myself into...I've traveled half way around the world to find myself down and out at an automatic laundry station in the heart of the eternal city. To think, I may be using the same washing machine that Augustus once used....Damn these mindless savages Roger, don't they understand that basic human decency can only be obtained through free market capitalism and the protestant work ethic? They really think all this Catholic hoodoo voodoo will save them...incredible. Twice weekly they find a proper virgin and sacrifice her to the pope in a canibalistic ceremony that verges on a level of inhumanity never even dreamed of by Henery Kissinger. Canibalistic rituals, now thats how you maintain a city for over 1000 years! I'm out here on the run from Ashcroft and the boys and after going three weeks without some Roger style wisdom I must admit I've nearly gnawed off half my leg out of sheer despair. But today the good Goddess Googeled me to the little corner of the web you call home. And thank Eris you have it for a home too, you inhabit some harsh lands you crazy bastard. There are dangerous amounts of sanity all through this continent....I've grown so accustomed to things making no sense at all. All these logical solutions for problems are unbearable on my poor American mind. I need some words from the Reverend to keep me moving and alert. The coffee helps, but it's just not the same you see. Soon enough I'll be headed into the backwoods of the Cinque Terre, I feel uncle sams eyes burning a hole through my head in these major citys. I'll be on the run just as soon as my towel gets out of the dryer....because I have not forgotten that it is the most useful thing to travel with. Ah, there's the bell, I must be running. I'll continue to spread the sermons accross the globe and to you, Roger, I wish all the best, to the bastards monitering this post from the black van outside all I can say is happy hunting and good luck...you'll need it to take me down. Farewell
::Shakes her fist at the bastards in the black van::
Is your towell dry yet?
Quote from: illusion::Shakes her fist at the bastards in the black van::
Is your towell dry yet?
Why yes, it is. Infact, it was dry several hours ago. Since then I've had time to find a properly fortified hostel and go on a raging Absinthe binge, so I've rather forgotten about the bastards in the black van. Take care friend, I'm down for the night.
Quote from: EfrimQuote from: illusion::Shakes her fist at the bastards in the black van::
Is your towell dry yet?
Why yes, it is. Infact, it was dry several hours ago. Since then I've had time to find a properly fortified hostel and go on a raging Absinthe binge, so I've rather forgotten about the bastards in the black van. Take care friend, I'm down for the night.
Absinthe goodies!
I've never had any absinthe.
I take it I'm missing out on something good?
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomI've never had any absinthe.
I take I'm missing out on something good?
Yep. It inspired the entire Romantic Movement... then again, that may not be such a good example.
I thought it is now legal again here in switzerland but I can't find it. maybe it was not in switzerland but in the EU
Quote from: Efrim(Perhaps this is the place for this post, perhaps not, I just assume this is the best place on the boards to get a message out to the man himself)
Another fine mess I've gotten myself into...I've traveled half way around the world to find myself down and out at an automatic laundry station in the heart of the eternal city. To think, I may be using the same washing machine that Augustus once used....Damn these mindless savages Roger, don't they understand that basic human decency can only be obtained through free market capitalism and the protestant work ethic? They really think all this Catholic hoodoo voodoo will save them...incredible. Twice weekly they find a proper virgin and sacrifice her to the pope in a canibalistic ceremony that verges on a level of inhumanity never even dreamed of by Henery Kissinger. Canibalistic rituals, now thats how you maintain a city for over 1000 years! I'm out here on the run from Ashcroft and the boys and after going three weeks without some Roger style wisdom I must admit I've nearly gnawed off half my leg out of sheer despair. But today the good Goddess Googeled me to the little corner of the web you call home. And thank Eris you have it for a home too, you inhabit some harsh lands you crazy bastard. There are dangerous amounts of sanity all through this continent....I've grown so accustomed to things making no sense at all. All these logical solutions for problems are unbearable on my poor American mind. I need some words from the Reverend to keep me moving and alert. The coffee helps, but it's just not the same you see. Soon enough I'll be headed into the backwoods of the Cinque Terre, I feel uncle sams eyes burning a hole through my head in these major citys. I'll be on the run just as soon as my towel gets out of the dryer....because I have not forgotten that it is the most useful thing to travel with. Ah, there's the bell, I must be running. I'll continue to spread the sermons accross the globe and to you, Roger, I wish all the best, to the bastards monitering this post from the black van outside all I can say is happy hunting and good luck...you'll need it to take me down. Farewell
Stop your whimpering, "Efrim". Things could be a LOT worse. For example, YOU could be out here hiding in the sticks...and you WOULD be, if not for an accident of economics. How'd THAT grab ya, bunky? instead of chasing Italian girls, you'd be festering in some jerkwater town in the middle of the friggin' desert. Count your blessings...and remember, it was ALL YOUR IDEA in the first place.
"It's a chance to smash the CoN", you said, "We are MORALLY OBLIGATED to carry through". Like a fool, I believed you...and now YOU are in Europe, living large, and I am in BFE, where I am shunned by the inbred locals for reasons that escape me.
As for Ashcroft, well, he'll get you anyway. You never WERE cut out for the role of expatriate. Your tastes are too wild, your lifestyle is too extreme. Sooner or later (probably sooner), they'll get you, and toss you in the cage that has my name on it, too. You will sit stunned at your fate, while I curse you and kick you...
What the hell was I thinking, listening to you? What the hell were YOU thinking? Did we somehow think that they'd FORGET what we did to the DA's lawn? Were we deluded into thinking that somehow, they wouldn't see that as a reason to hound us to the ends of the Earth?
Now that they are putting MORE people in jail without due process, what do you think will happen to us? Well, let me tell you, "Efrim"...they'll beat us like egg-sucking dogs. They'll have no choice...our paperwork isn't in order, and they are, after all, professionals. The Free Market DEMANDS that we be punished...and you know that Adam Smith was NEVER wrong.
So, the only advice I can give you is to sink into abysmal pits of excess and decadence...preaching the word is fine, but do you really think that it will have any effect? Hell, no! You're just attracting attention to yourself, bringing yet closer the day that the hand finally lands on your shoulder, and you are "taken into the system".
Get your yuks in while you can. We'll all be in jail by this time next year, for reasons that will never be made clear.
Or kill me.
:shock: What in the world did you do to the DA's lawn? :shock:
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom:shock: What in the world did you do to the DA's lawn? :shock:
We landscaped it. With 10 gallons of kerosene, and a road flare.
Why the hell else would I be living way out here?
No more crabgrass to worry about.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom:shock: What in the world did you do to the DA's lawn? :shock:
We landscaped it. With 10 gallons of kerosene, and a road flare.
Why the hell else would I be living way out here?
No reason on earth you would if you didn't have to.
Quote from: SheckyNo more crabgrass to worry about.
Revenge is not really
satisfying, if you half-ass it.
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom:shock: What in the world did you do to the DA's lawn? :shock:
We landscaped it. With 10 gallons of kerosene, and a road flare.
Why the hell else would I be living way out here?
No reason on earth you would if you didn't have to.
Dunno...the place is starting to grow on me, though the natives aren't very friendly.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom:shock: What in the world did you do to the DA's lawn? :shock:
We landscaped it. With 10 gallons of kerosene, and a road flare.
Why the hell else would I be living way out here?
No reason on earth you would if you didn't have to.
Dunno...the place is starting to grow on me, though the natives aren't very friendly.
They're probably afraid of intelligent lifeforms.
It's probably starting to grow on you because it's so weird there.
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom:shock: What in the world did you do to the DA's lawn? :shock:
We landscaped it. With 10 gallons of kerosene, and a road flare.
Why the hell else would I be living way out here?
No reason on earth you would if you didn't have to.
Dunno...the place is starting to grow on me, though the natives aren't very friendly.
They're probably afraid of intelligent lifeforms.
It's probably starting to grow on you because it's so weird there.
Work isn't so bad. Plus, I can always count on Saleem for a perfectly warped view of the world.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom:shock: What in the world did you do to the DA's lawn? :shock:
We landscaped it. With 10 gallons of kerosene, and a road flare.
Why the hell else would I be living way out here?
No reason on earth you would if you didn't have to.
Dunno...the place is starting to grow on me, though the natives aren't very friendly.
They're probably afraid of intelligent lifeforms.
It's probably starting to grow on you because it's so weird there.
Work isn't so bad. Plus, I can always count on Saleem for a perfectly warped view of the world.
That's cool......you need at least one person you can count on, ya know?
I'm glad your job isn't so bad. Mine, isn't either, but work was hard today....lots of depressed mamas calling today.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom:shock: What in the world did you do to the DA's lawn? :shock:
We landscaped it. With 10 gallons of kerosene, and a road flare.
Why the hell else would I be living way out here?
What the hell's wrong with that? No doubt because of who you are and what you're into they'd crucify you. Makes me sick.
Quote from: St. Trollax, ODDQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom:shock: What in the world did you do to the DA's lawn? :shock:
We landscaped it. With 10 gallons of kerosene, and a road flare.
Why the hell else would I be living way out here?
What the hell's wrong with that? No doubt because of who you are and what you're into they'd crucify you. Makes me sick.
They got it into their head that I was some kind of deviant, intent on warping the minds of the youth.
Funny, I thought I was hiding that pretty well.
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomThat's cool......you need at least one person you can count on, ya know?
I'm glad your job isn't so bad. Mine, isn't either, but work was hard today....lots of depressed mamas calling today.
What do you do?
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: St. Trollax, ODDQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom:shock: What in the world did you do to the DA's lawn? :shock:
We landscaped it. With 10 gallons of kerosene, and a road flare.
Why the hell else would I be living way out here?
What the hell's wrong with that? No doubt because of who you are and what you're into they'd crucify you. Makes me sick.
They got it into their head that I was some kind of deviant, intent on warping the minds of the youth.
Funny, I thought I was hiding that pretty well.
Don't forget to ask to pay 30 pieces of silver as your punishment. And go to hemlock when the state demands a different sentence.
Quote from: St. Trollax, ODDQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: St. Trollax, ODDQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom:shock: What in the world did you do to the DA's lawn? :shock:
We landscaped it. With 10 gallons of kerosene, and a road flare.
Why the hell else would I be living way out here?
What the hell's wrong with that? No doubt because of who you are and what you're into they'd crucify you. Makes me sick.
They got it into their head that I was some kind of deviant, intent on warping the minds of the youth.
Funny, I thought I was hiding that pretty well.
Don't forget to ask to pay 30 pieces of silver as your punishment. And go to hemlock when the state demands a different sentence.
Hey...when are you going to delete my sermon 26 thread?
Slacker.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomThat's cool......you need at least one person you can count on, ya know?
I'm glad your job isn't so bad. Mine, isn't either, but work was hard today....lots of depressed mamas calling today.
What do you do?
I'm a certified counselor, but now I read tarot cards.
The clients think they're getting their fortunes told, and they are - but also getting counseling as well.
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomThat's cool......you need at least one person you can count on, ya know?
I'm glad your job isn't so bad. Mine, isn't either, but work was hard today....lots of depressed mamas calling today.
What do you do?
I'm a certified counselor, but now I read tarot cards.
The clients think they're getting their fortunes told, and they are - but also getting counseling as well.
That's right...you did that for me once.
Helluva racket. I could never do it, though...my innate misanthropy would cause me to try and fuck their self-absorbed, self-pitying little heads UP.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: St. Trollax, ODDQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: St. Trollax, ODDQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom:shock: What in the world did you do to the DA's lawn? :shock:
We landscaped it. With 10 gallons of kerosene, and a road flare.
Why the hell else would I be living way out here?
What the hell's wrong with that? No doubt because of who you are and what you're into they'd crucify you. Makes me sick.
They got it into their head that I was some kind of deviant, intent on warping the minds of the youth.
Funny, I thought I was hiding that pretty well.
Don't forget to ask to pay 30 pieces of silver as your punishment. And go to hemlock when the state demands a different sentence.
Hey...when are you going to delete my sermon 26 thread?
Slacker.
I'm not the mod, just the village idiot... :)
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomThat's cool......you need at least one person you can count on, ya know?
I'm glad your job isn't so bad. Mine, isn't either, but work was hard today....lots of depressed mamas calling today.
What do you do?
I'm a certified counselor, but now I read tarot cards.
The clients think they're getting their fortunes told, and they are - but also getting counseling as well.
That's right...you did that for me once.
Helluva racket. I could never do it, though...my innate misanthropy would cause me to try and fuck their self-absorbed, self-pitying little heads UP.
I'm gonna get in trouble for telling you this, but she has a hard time restraining herself sometimes. I've seen her get the giggles and have to stuff something in her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. And she rolls her eyes at the phone and then gets very stern and says something like "The cards are telling me that not everything in the world is about you. Sorry about that."
Quote from: illusionQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomThat's cool......you need at least one person you can count on, ya know?
I'm glad your job isn't so bad. Mine, isn't either, but work was hard today....lots of depressed mamas calling today.
What do you do?
I'm a certified counselor, but now I read tarot cards.
The clients think they're getting their fortunes told, and they are - but also getting counseling as well.
That's right...you did that for me once.
Helluva racket. I could never do it, though...my innate misanthropy would cause me to try and fuck their self-absorbed, self-pitying little heads UP.
I'm gonna get in trouble for telling you this, but she has a hard time restraining herself sometimes. I've seen her get the giggles and have to stuff something in her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. And she rolls her eyes at the phone and then gets very stern and says something like "The cards are telling me that not everything in the world is about you. Sorry about that."
Counselling is like forensics. Unless you take it lightly it kills you. You're not the only one who's heard about the things she does ;-). And I'm probably not the only one to egg her on. :lol:
Don't listen to either one of them, Roger.
I take my job very seriously and would never ever lead any of my little lambies astray.
Honesssst, I wouldn't.
Truly.
I promissssssse.
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomDon't listen to either one of them, Roger.
I take my job very seriously and would never ever lead any of my little lambies astray.
Honesssst, I wouldn't.
Truly.
I promissssssse.
Somehow, you just don't sound
sincere...
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerSomehow, you just don't sound sincere...
SSSSShe sssoundsssss ssssseverly ssssssincccccere to me.
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomDon't listen to either one of them, Roger.
I take my job very seriously and would never ever lead any of my little lambies astray.
Hmm, let's see, the last time one of the sisters told me not to listen to someone, I ended up bound and gagged. Hmmm. I believe you, Mistress SssBella, Oracle of Doom! Yes, I do! I really, really, really do.
Quote from: gnimbleyI believe you, Mistress SssBella, Oracle of Doom! Yes, I do! I really, really, really do.
Now you're just being a suck-up. What's bound and gagged to a Defender of Truth? Even though you are 'just' a gnome, and even though you are a truly
exceptional gnome, you still shouldn't let a little thing like being bound and gagged get in the way of saying what you really mean.
Oh, my dear Roger, you know me....I'll go on preaching the word until my last breath (which, by the way, will be Rosebud, whispered softly, for reasons that have nothing to do with classic hollywood). But shame on you for forgetting that "abysmal pits of excess and decadence" have always gone hand in hand with the word of our orginization.
And yes, Ashcroft will probabley catch me, but then I always was better at getting out then I was at laying low. It so irritates me that every time I escape the justice department quotes Harrison Bergeron "....has just escaped from jail, where he was held on suspicion of plotting to overthrow the government. He is a genius and an athelete, is under-handicapped, and should be regarded as extremely dangerous...If you see this boy, do not-I repeat-do not-try to reason with him". All the originality has gone out of the justice department. Ever since 1984 came out they really just stopped trying, it's such a shame.
By the way, It's a widely known fact that the wealth of nations was little more then a druken boast; and I can tell you that Adam Smith's invisible hand is the furtherest thing from your mind when you're preaching to a bunch of Spanish communists on labor day. I know, I know, Smith's hand has a way of catching up to the two of us...I'm just hoping I can stay off that rader for long enough to get done what needs to get done. And despite you OBVIOUS lack of faith in me, the plan you seem to have forgotten about is moving along quite well. The Euro chapter of evil-geni is growing by leaps and bounds. I've already recruited a surly drunk in London, 4 medical students and an Irish literature (thesis was on Joyce) expert living in Paris, No less then 5 avant-garde dancers in Brussels, a horribly washed-up comedy troop stationed in Amsterdam, An opium addict and part time tour guide in Barcelona, a whole gaggle of communits in Madrid, and a small but loyal contingent of the Vatican black ops team here in Rome. Thats fresh recruits in every city I've been to, whose collective talents cover a wider range then the A-team. Granted, none of them are yet full memebers...most are just cannon fodder, but every little bit helps.
Did you have to remind me of that damn DA? It all started with him didn't it? And you know he's got it out worse for me than you. Jeez, you spend one night of sexual abandon and cattle prods with the entire female contingent of a guys family and suddenly you're "morally reprehensable" and "a threat to the civilized world". bollocks I say! Where is that chiristian forgiveness when you need it? After that little incident it was all a whirlwind of bad drugs and charges filed and before I knew what happend we were talking about looking for demolitions experts in Prague and then suddenly I was standing outside of Hearthrow airport with nothing but a towel, some flyers for a pub crawl and a small note reminding myself of the grand master plan. I don't even want to know what sent you out to where you're at...then again, I doubt you even fully remember.
So I will just get on with what I'm getting on with and if you care to a play an active role you can provide technical and spritual support over the forums or you can just get old and grey with jethro and the gang out there in the sticks. See if I care. Your post made me realize thats I can and have been doing quite alright independently. Pull myself up by my own bootstraps and bring down western civilization in the process. Thats the way. Your sermons are already typed up and ready to be despersed and my unpublished works are going over quite well here in Europe. Just remember, you're one of us.....and you would never be really happy hanging out with the zero level trash that inhabit the hole you're currently living in.
And one more thing, every time I come up with an alias you just have to go and shit all over it, don't you? "Efrim" this, and "Efrim" that. quote marks all over the page. Just let it be man. Do you think they'd even believe who I really was? Certainly not. You know, if you want to wash your hands of all this madness I can understand, you've certainly earned the right to rest on your laurels.....but my troops are getting restless, they want to know if the reverend is on board and there's simply no explaining to an to an avant-garde dance troop that someone is hiding out in some godforsaken backwater to lay low for a while, they refuse to accept it. But Whatever happens we will always have giddy memories of 20 gallon barrels of kerosine and raging fires that will endure long after both of us are dead. And that means the world to this traveling discordian&evil genius. Take care Roger.
Forgot to log in for that last post so I thought I had better come back and put my stamp of approval on it. I know how suspcious we all have to be these days.
Quote from: EfrimBut shame on you for forgetting that "abysmal pits of excess and decadence" have always gone hand in hand with the word of our orginization.
Point. It's made us the men we are today.
Quote from: EfrimAnd yes, Ashcroft will probabley catch me, but then I always was better at getting out then I was at laying low. It so irritates me that every time I escape the justice department quotes Harrison Bergeron "....has just escaped from jail, where he was held on suspicion of plotting to overthrow the government. He is a genius and an athelete, is under-handicapped, and should be regarded as extremely dangerous...If you see this boy, do not-I repeat-do not-try to reason with him". All the originality has gone out of the justice department. Ever since 1984 came out they really just stopped trying, it's such a shame.
Heh. You'll be laughing out the other side of your mouth when you're at the bottom of an "Ass pyramid".
Quote from: EfrimBy the way, It's a widely known fact that the wealth of nations was little more then a druken boast; and I can tell you that Adam Smith's invisible hand is the furtherest thing from your mind when you're preaching to a bunch of Spanish communists on labor day. I know, I know, Smith's hand has a way of catching up to the two of us...I'm just hoping I can stay off that rader for long enough to get done what needs to get done. And despite you OBVIOUS lack of faith in me, the plan you seem to have forgotten about is moving along quite well. The Euro chapter of evil-geni is growing by leaps and bounds. I've already recruited a surly drunk in London, 4 medical students and an Irish literature (thesis was on Joyce) expert living in Paris, No less then 5 avant-garde dancers in Brussels, a horribly washed-up comedy troop stationed in Amsterdam, An opium addict and part time tour guide in Barcelona, a whole gaggle of communits in Madrid, and a small but loyal contingent of the Vatican black ops team here in Rome. Thats fresh recruits in every city I've been to, whose collective talents cover a wider range then the A-team. Granted, none of them are yet full memebers...most are just cannon fodder, but every little bit helps.
HOLY CRAP! You HAVE been a busy little monkey, haven't you?
Quote from: EfrimDid you have to remind me of that damn DA? It all started with him didn't it? And you know he's got it out worse for me than you. Jeez, you spend one night of sexual abandon and cattle prods with the entire female contingent of a guys family and suddenly you're "morally reprehensable" and "a threat to the civilized world". bollocks I say! Where is that chiristian forgiveness when you need it? After that little incident it was all a whirlwind of bad drugs and charges filed and before I knew what happend we were talking about looking for demolitions experts in Prague and then suddenly I was standing outside of Hearthrow airport with nothing but a towel, some flyers for a pub crawl and a small note reminding myself of the grand master plan. I don't even want to know what sent you out to where you're at...then again, I doubt you even fully remember.
That goddamned DA. Nosy bastard...we were THIS close. Of course, we should NEVER have had that party. By the way, I never had a chance to tell you how impressed I was by that belly flop you did out of my bay window. Talk about reaction time...the fooking cops didn't even know you were there. If we ever meet again, you'll have to show me how you did that.
Quote from: EfrimSo I will just get on with what I'm getting on with and if you care to a play an active role you can provide technical and spritual support over the forums or you can just get old and grey with jethro and the gang out there in the sticks. See if I care. Your post made me realize thats I can and have been doing quite alright independently. Pull myself up by my own bootstraps and bring down western civilization in the process. Thats the way. Your sermons are already typed up and ready to be despersed and my unpublished works are going over quite well here in Europe. Just remember, you're one of us.....and you would never be really happy hanging out with the zero level trash that inhabit the hole you're currently living in.
Tell me about it. Every day, I can feel my IQ siphoning away...it's like a museum of failed hominids out here. It's good to see that you finally figured out that you don't NEED me to do ANYTHING. Perhaps you should write Pedro, and explain things to him. Every frigging week I get an email, asking me for advice. BTW: On the subject of sermons/publications, check out the 5 (so far) part series: Millions of Screamin Yahoos". New work, and I think it's some of my better work.
Quote from: Efrim.....but my troops are getting restless, they want to know if the reverend is on board and there's simply no explaining to an to an avant-garde dance troop that someone is hiding out in some godforsaken backwater to lay low for a while, they refuse to accept it.
But Whatever happens we will always have giddy memories of 20 gallon barrels of kerosine and raging fires that will endure long after both of us are dead. And that means the world to this traveling discordian&evil genius. Take care Roger.
1. The Good Reverend is ALWAYS ready to rumble. You know that. Explain to these performance artist of yours that the Good Reverend is on sabbatical, but urges them on to excesses that will make the Marquis de Sade look like a piker. Of course, this will also help you escape, since THEY will be the ones attracting attention. Do NEVER get caught by German police...Do never.
2. Good times...
Bump for a true classic.
whatever happened to Efrim?
that was one mean hippie.
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on November 09, 2009, 04:31:44 PM
whatever happened to Efrim?
that was one mean hippie.
He disappeared in Poland. Reports of his resurfacing at the U of C have been investigated and found to be unreliable at best.
maybe the Polish Navy took him for a submarine ride?
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on November 10, 2009, 05:35:44 PM
maybe the Polish Navy took him for a submarine ride?
He's still missing, so you tell me.
Well one thing I know for sure:
I started eating almost strictly from farmers' markets and local butchers and recycling EVERYTHING and getting all healthy and environmental. And except for when we have clients on the ship, I totally stopped shaving. I think at this point it's safe to say that Efrim is no longer the meanest hippie that ever lived.
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on October 26, 2011, 02:00:44 AM
Well one thing I know for sure:
I started eating almost strictly from farmers' markets and local butchers and recycling EVERYTHING and getting all healthy and environmental. And except for when we have clients on the ship, I totally stopped shaving. I think at this point it's safe to say that Efrim is no longer the meanest hippie that ever lived.
No, dude, Efrim was a special case. You have a nice side to you, I've seen it.
Efrim was a...Well, shit. Tomorrow I'm gonna write his eulogy.
Maybe so, or maybe I just like you guys enough to never let you see me at my meanest. :lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 12:50:42 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on October 26, 2011, 02:00:44 AM
Well one thing I know for sure:
I started eating almost strictly from farmers' markets and local butchers and recycling EVERYTHING and getting all healthy and environmental. And except for when we have clients on the ship, I totally stopped shaving. I think at this point it's safe to say that Efrim is no longer the meanest hippie that ever lived.
No, dude, Efrim was a special case. You have a nice side to you, I've seen it.
Efrim was a...Well, shit. Tomorrow I'm gonna write his eulogy.
I would love to get you and Justin at the same table. Seriously, holy shit. Or even on the same front porch with a bottle of bourbon.
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 07:19:41 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 12:50:42 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on October 26, 2011, 02:00:44 AM
Well one thing I know for sure:
I started eating almost strictly from farmers' markets and local butchers and recycling EVERYTHING and getting all healthy and environmental. And except for when we have clients on the ship, I totally stopped shaving. I think at this point it's safe to say that Efrim is no longer the meanest hippie that ever lived.
No, dude, Efrim was a special case. You have a nice side to you, I've seen it.
Efrim was a...Well, shit. Tomorrow I'm gonna write his eulogy.
I would love to get you and Justin at the same table. Seriously, holy shit. Or even on the same front porch with a bottle of bourbon.
I'm better off alone when a bottle is concerned.
Some people turn into belligerent assholes. Some people turn into maudlin, mushy drunks.
I just drop my
PTSD pance and let my crazy hang out. It ain't pretty.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 03:39:28 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 07:19:41 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 12:50:42 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on October 26, 2011, 02:00:44 AM
Well one thing I know for sure:
I started eating almost strictly from farmers' markets and local butchers and recycling EVERYTHING and getting all healthy and environmental. And except for when we have clients on the ship, I totally stopped shaving. I think at this point it's safe to say that Efrim is no longer the meanest hippie that ever lived.
No, dude, Efrim was a special case. You have a nice side to you, I've seen it.
Efrim was a...Well, shit. Tomorrow I'm gonna write his eulogy.
I would love to get you and Justin at the same table. Seriously, holy shit. Or even on the same front porch with a bottle of bourbon.
I'm better off alone when a bottle is concerned.
Some people turn into belligerent assholes. Some people turn into maudlin, mushy drunks.
I just drop my PTSD pance and let my crazy hang out. It ain't pretty.
Sounds like a good time to me, but I have a weird idea of a good time. It's why I can't keep a boyfriend.
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 04:04:56 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 03:39:28 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 07:19:41 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 12:50:42 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on October 26, 2011, 02:00:44 AM
Well one thing I know for sure:
I started eating almost strictly from farmers' markets and local butchers and recycling EVERYTHING and getting all healthy and environmental. And except for when we have clients on the ship, I totally stopped shaving. I think at this point it's safe to say that Efrim is no longer the meanest hippie that ever lived.
No, dude, Efrim was a special case. You have a nice side to you, I've seen it.
Efrim was a...Well, shit. Tomorrow I'm gonna write his eulogy.
I would love to get you and Justin at the same table. Seriously, holy shit. Or even on the same front porch with a bottle of bourbon.
I'm better off alone when a bottle is concerned.
Some people turn into belligerent assholes. Some people turn into maudlin, mushy drunks.
I just drop my PTSD pance and let my crazy hang out. It ain't pretty.
Sounds like a good time to me, but I have a weird idea of a good time. It's why I can't keep a boyfriend.
Fortunately, Enabler adjusted well to my talking to Charles Maldonado when I'm at the bottom of the bottle.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 04:11:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 04:04:56 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 03:39:28 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 07:19:41 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 12:50:42 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on October 26, 2011, 02:00:44 AM
Well one thing I know for sure:
I started eating almost strictly from farmers' markets and local butchers and recycling EVERYTHING and getting all healthy and environmental. And except for when we have clients on the ship, I totally stopped shaving. I think at this point it's safe to say that Efrim is no longer the meanest hippie that ever lived.
No, dude, Efrim was a special case. You have a nice side to you, I've seen it.
Efrim was a...Well, shit. Tomorrow I'm gonna write his eulogy.
I would love to get you and Justin at the same table. Seriously, holy shit. Or even on the same front porch with a bottle of bourbon.
I'm better off alone when a bottle is concerned.
Some people turn into belligerent assholes. Some people turn into maudlin, mushy drunks.
I just drop my PTSD pance and let my crazy hang out. It ain't pretty.
Sounds like a good time to me, but I have a weird idea of a good time. It's why I can't keep a boyfriend.
Fortunately, Enabler adjusted well to my talking to Charles Maldonado when I'm at the bottom of the bottle.
Last time I was drunk around ML was Spokane, and it pretty much ruined everything. Well, that, and being 22 years older than he likes.
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 07:19:41 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 12:50:42 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on October 26, 2011, 02:00:44 AM
Well one thing I know for sure:
I started eating almost strictly from farmers'; markets and local butchers and recycling EVERYTHING and getting all healthy and environmental. And except for when we have clients on the ship, I totally stopped shaving. I think at this point it's safe to say that Efrim is no longer the meanest hippie that ever lived.
No, dude, Efrim was a special case. You have a nice side to you, I've seen it.
Efrim was a...Well, shit. Tomorrow I'm gonna write his eulogy.
I would love to get you and Justin at the same table. Seriously, holy shit. Or even on the same front porch with a bottle of bourbon.
I stick to tequila or gin these days when it comes to hard liquor.
You know how, for some people, bourbon is "naked in a bottle"?
And how, for some people, bourbon is "fight in a bottle"?
For me, bourbon is "naked fighting in a bottle".
And it's not that it makes me angry or belligerent, it just makes me unable to understand why EVERY OTHER MOTHERFUCKER IN THE ROOM could possibly not want to join in the fun that is naked fistfighting.
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 04:40:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 04:11:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 04:04:56 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 03:39:28 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 07:19:41 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 12:50:42 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on October 26, 2011, 02:00:44 AM
Well one thing I know for sure:
I started eating almost strictly from farmers' markets and local butchers and recycling EVERYTHING and getting all healthy and environmental. And except for when we have clients on the ship, I totally stopped shaving. I think at this point it's safe to say that Efrim is no longer the meanest hippie that ever lived.
No, dude, Efrim was a special case. You have a nice side to you, I've seen it.
Efrim was a...Well, shit. Tomorrow I'm gonna write his eulogy.
I would love to get you and Justin at the same table. Seriously, holy shit. Or even on the same front porch with a bottle of bourbon.
I'm better off alone when a bottle is concerned.
Some people turn into belligerent assholes. Some people turn into maudlin, mushy drunks.
I just drop my PTSD pance and let my crazy hang out. It ain't pretty.
Sounds like a good time to me, but I have a weird idea of a good time. It's why I can't keep a boyfriend.
Fortunately, Enabler adjusted well to my talking to Charles Maldonado when I'm at the bottom of the bottle.
Last time I was drunk around ML was Spokane, and it pretty much ruined everything. Well, that, and being 22 years older than he likes.
Ew.
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on November 02, 2011, 04:41:38 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 07:19:41 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 12:50:42 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on October 26, 2011, 02:00:44 AM
Well one thing I know for sure:
I started eating almost strictly from farmers'; markets and local butchers and recycling EVERYTHING and getting all healthy and environmental. And except for when we have clients on the ship, I totally stopped shaving. I think at this point it's safe to say that Efrim is no longer the meanest hippie that ever lived.
No, dude, Efrim was a special case. You have a nice side to you, I've seen it.
Efrim was a...Well, shit. Tomorrow I'm gonna write his eulogy.
I would love to get you and Justin at the same table. Seriously, holy shit. Or even on the same front porch with a bottle of bourbon.
I stick to tequila or gin these days when it comes to hard liquor.
You know how, for some people, bourbon is "naked in a bottle"?
And how, for some people, bourbon is "fight in a bottle"?
For me, bourbon is "naked fighting in a bottle".
And it's not that it makes me angry or belligerent, it just makes me unable to understand why EVERY OTHER MOTHERFUCKER IN THE ROOM could possibly not want to join in the fun that is naked fistfighting.
HOLY SHIT
HOW CAN I MAKE THIS HAPPEN AT MY NEXT PARTY???
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 04:42:05 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 04:40:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 04:11:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 04:04:56 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 03:39:28 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 07:19:41 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 12:50:42 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on October 26, 2011, 02:00:44 AM
Well one thing I know for sure:
I started eating almost strictly from farmers' markets and local butchers and recycling EVERYTHING and getting all healthy and environmental. And except for when we have clients on the ship, I totally stopped shaving. I think at this point it's safe to say that Efrim is no longer the meanest hippie that ever lived.
No, dude, Efrim was a special case. You have a nice side to you, I've seen it.
Efrim was a...Well, shit. Tomorrow I'm gonna write his eulogy.
I would love to get you and Justin at the same table. Seriously, holy shit. Or even on the same front porch with a bottle of bourbon.
I'm better off alone when a bottle is concerned.
Some people turn into belligerent assholes. Some people turn into maudlin, mushy drunks.
I just drop my PTSD pance and let my crazy hang out. It ain't pretty.
Sounds like a good time to me, but I have a weird idea of a good time. It's why I can't keep a boyfriend.
Fortunately, Enabler adjusted well to my talking to Charles Maldonado when I'm at the bottom of the bottle.
Last time I was drunk around ML was Spokane, and it pretty much ruined everything. Well, that, and being 22 years older than he likes.
Ew.
I know.
I am full of hate and rage.
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 04:46:37 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on November 02, 2011, 04:41:38 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 07:19:41 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 12:50:42 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on October 26, 2011, 02:00:44 AM
Well one thing I know for sure:
I started eating almost strictly from farmers'; markets and local butchers and recycling EVERYTHING and getting all healthy and environmental. And except for when we have clients on the ship, I totally stopped shaving. I think at this point it's safe to say that Efrim is no longer the meanest hippie that ever lived.
No, dude, Efrim was a special case. You have a nice side to you, I've seen it.
Efrim was a...Well, shit. Tomorrow I'm gonna write his eulogy.
I would love to get you and Justin at the same table. Seriously, holy shit. Or even on the same front porch with a bottle of bourbon.
I stick to tequila or gin these days when it comes to hard liquor.
You know how, for some people, bourbon is "naked in a bottle"?
And how, for some people, bourbon is "fight in a bottle"?
For me, bourbon is "naked fighting in a bottle".
And it's not that it makes me angry or belligerent, it just makes me unable to understand why EVERY OTHER MOTHERFUCKER IN THE ROOM could possibly not want to join in the fun that is naked fistfighting.
HOLY SHIT
HOW CAN I MAKE THIS HAPPEN AT MY NEXT PARTY???
Well, uhh.....just add bourbon. :lulz:
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on November 02, 2011, 05:00:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 04:46:37 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on November 02, 2011, 04:41:38 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 02, 2011, 07:19:41 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 02, 2011, 12:50:42 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on October 26, 2011, 02:00:44 AM
Well one thing I know for sure:
I started eating almost strictly from farmers'; markets and local butchers and recycling EVERYTHING and getting all healthy and environmental. And except for when we have clients on the ship, I totally stopped shaving. I think at this point it's safe to say that Efrim is no longer the meanest hippie that ever lived.
No, dude, Efrim was a special case. You have a nice side to you, I've seen it.
Efrim was a...Well, shit. Tomorrow I'm gonna write his eulogy.
I would love to get you and Justin at the same table. Seriously, holy shit. Or even on the same front porch with a bottle of bourbon.
I stick to tequila or gin these days when it comes to hard liquor.
You know how, for some people, bourbon is "naked in a bottle"?
And how, for some people, bourbon is "fight in a bottle"?
For me, bourbon is "naked fighting in a bottle".
And it's not that it makes me angry or belligerent, it just makes me unable to understand why EVERY OTHER MOTHERFUCKER IN THE ROOM could possibly not want to join in the fun that is naked fistfighting.
HOLY SHIT
HOW CAN I MAKE THIS HAPPEN AT MY NEXT PARTY???
Well, uhh.....just add bourbon. :lulz:
WILL DO.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 10, 2004, 04:13:22 AM
Quote from: Efrim(Perhaps this is the place for this post, perhaps not, I just assume this is the best place on the boards to get a message out to the man himself)
Another fine mess I've gotten myself into...I've traveled half way around the world to find myself down and out at an automatic laundry station in the heart of the eternal city. To think, I may be using the same washing machine that Augustus once used....Damn these mindless savages Roger, don't they understand that basic human decency can only be obtained through free market capitalism and the protestant work ethic? They really think all this Catholic hoodoo voodoo will save them...incredible. Twice weekly they find a proper virgin and sacrifice her to the pope in a canibalistic ceremony that verges on a level of inhumanity never even dreamed of by Henery Kissinger. Canibalistic rituals, now thats how you maintain a city for over 1000 years! I'm out here on the run from Ashcroft and the boys and after going three weeks without some Roger style wisdom I must admit I've nearly gnawed off half my leg out of sheer despair. But today the good Goddess Googeled me to the little corner of the web you call home. And thank Eris you have it for a home too, you inhabit some harsh lands you crazy bastard. There are dangerous amounts of sanity all through this continent....I've grown so accustomed to things making no sense at all. All these logical solutions for problems are unbearable on my poor American mind. I need some words from the Reverend to keep me moving and alert. The coffee helps, but it's just not the same you see. Soon enough I'll be headed into the backwoods of the Cinque Terre, I feel uncle sams eyes burning a hole through my head in these major citys. I'll be on the run just as soon as my towel gets out of the dryer....because I have not forgotten that it is the most useful thing to travel with. Ah, there's the bell, I must be running. I'll continue to spread the sermons accross the globe and to you, Roger, I wish all the best, to the bastards monitering this post from the black van outside all I can say is happy hunting and good luck...you'll need it to take me down. Farewell
Stop your whimpering, "Efrim". Things could be a LOT worse. For example, YOU could be out here hiding in the sticks...and you WOULD be, if not for an accident of economics. How'd THAT grab ya, bunky? instead of chasing Italian girls, you'd be festering in some jerkwater town in the middle of the friggin' desert. Count your blessings...and remember, it was ALL YOUR IDEA in the first place.
"It's a chance to smash the CoN", you said, "We are MORALLY OBLIGATED to carry through". Like a fool, I believed you...and now YOU are in Europe, living large, and I am in BFE, where I am shunned by the inbred locals for reasons that escape me.
As for Ashcroft, well, he'll get you anyway. You never WERE cut out for the role of expatriate. Your tastes are too wild, your lifestyle is too extreme. Sooner or later (probably sooner), they'll get you, and toss you in the cage that has my name on it, too. You will sit stunned at your fate, while I curse you and kick you...
What the hell was I thinking, listening to you? What the hell were YOU thinking? Did we somehow think that they'd FORGET what we did to the DA's lawn? Were we deluded into thinking that somehow, they wouldn't see that as a reason to hound us to the ends of the Earth?
Now that they are putting MORE people in jail without due process, what do you think will happen to us? Well, let me tell you, "Efrim"...they'll beat us like egg-sucking dogs. They'll have no choice...our paperwork isn't in order, and they are, after all, professionals. The Free Market DEMANDS that we be punished...and you know that Adam Smith was NEVER wrong.
So, the only advice I can give you is to sink into abysmal pits of excess and decadence...preaching the word is fine, but do you really think that it will have any effect? Hell, no! You're just attracting attention to yourself, bringing yet closer the day that the hand finally lands on your shoulder, and you are "taken into the system".
Get your yuks in while you can. We'll all be in jail by this time next year, for reasons that will never be made clear.
Or kill me.
I'm gonna peel back the vinyl here and say that Efrim turned up alive, and is a mild-mannered university professor in Normal, Illinois.
Didn't ever see that coming. The man was a fucking lunatic.
Why did you suddenly decide to start using a name confusingly similar to that of an established Subgenius personality?
I've got an itch behind my eye. I'm not sure if I should pop it out, clean it, and put it back in. I'm not sure it would help, I haven't ever seen anybody doing that.
Maybe they do it hidden.
Maybe their eyes don't itch.
Maybe their eyes do itch but they don't want to pop them out for some reason.
It feels like receiving a superposition of nobel prize and darwin award in a box that's ticking suspiciously.
And everyone's just fucking clapping.
Quote from: Pope Nope on January 14, 2019, 11:44:58 PM
Why did you suddenly decide to start using a name confusingly similar to that of an established Subgenius personality?
"suddenly"
"personality"
I am lost on so many levels
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on January 15, 2019, 06:30:39 PM
I am lost on so many levels
Let me explain.
Even before he died, have you ever seen The Good Reverend Roger and Doktor Howl in the same room, or even appearing together in a picture that didn't seem suspiciously altered? Don't you find the circumstances of the Good Reverend's death bizarre, to say the least?
The answer is simple.
Aliens.
Illegal aliens.
From the star Vega.
Why do you think Trump is so obsessed with his wall? Don't you think $5.7 billion is a ridiculously large amount for some simple barrier? Well, the truth is that it's a
SPACE WALL. Trump wants to protect America from an influx of Vegans, who will bring with them their bizarre lifestyle and culinary choices. Can you imagine what might happen if too many of them got in? It would devastate the already suffering beef and pork industries, and KFC might even go out of business. Do you know how many Trump voters eat fried chicken?
Unfortunately for Trump, the
SPACE WALL simply won't work, because, despite what
they want you to believe, the Earth is actually round, and you can't just put a wall around the edges.
If you have any questions, dial "0" and ask for leniency.
Quote from: Con-troll on January 15, 2019, 04:03:48 PM
I've got an itch behind my eye. I'm not sure if I should pop it out, clean it, and put it back in. I'm not sure it would help, I haven't ever seen anybody doing that.
Maybe they do it hidden.
Maybe their eyes don't itch.
Maybe their eyes do itch but they don't want to pop them out for some reason.
It feels like receiving a superposition of nobel prize and darwin award in a box that's ticking suspiciously.
And everyone's just fucking clapping.
It sounds like a software problem. Have you tried rebooting?
Quote from: Pope Nope on January 14, 2019, 11:44:58 PM
Why did you suddenly decide to start using a name confusingly similar to that of an established Subgenius personality?
It's unrelated, but yes, very close.
I did this because as TGRR, I was not cartoon-ish enough to be a proper villain.
But you knew that.
Going by the rants I hear on Hour of Slack (which I always thoroughly enjoy and instantly know are yours when they begin), I would have thought that being the "Good" reverend had a certain amount of wonderful irony to it.
Anyway, like broken hearts, names are for assholes. And that, I know.