Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Richter on March 24, 2009, 01:59:22 PM

Title: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Richter on March 24, 2009, 01:59:22 PM
YOU
YES YOU
STAND. UP. STRAIGHT.

Are you trying to sneak around?  I saw you, so you're obviously failing at it. 
Are you getting ready to tackle someone?  I thought not! 
Fixing food or a car engine?  Still no?

Well, no excuse then.  Head up, shoulders back, look like you're alive for cheesesake!
DO you know how sickening that slouch makes you look?  Don't get me started.
You're a human being worth bitching out; hence you're a human being worth presenting properly.  You have a nose right?  Is it a BIG nose?  Mine sure as hell is.  If I slouch, it sticks forward, and I have the profile of a huge fucking bird.  I'm not yellow, so that shit just doesn't fly.  Don't walk around looking like a damn bird.  Some of us have to SEE you, when we're unfortunate, so you may as well try to be inspiring.
We sure as hell didn't survive random childhood innoculations, hordes of our screaming "peers", dubious educational systems and a fucked job market to creep around everywhere like we were trying to be ground apes.
Tighten your abs a bit, it helps.  Keeps you back from falling apart too.

You try that out, we'll address looking people in the eye next time.
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Triple Zero on March 24, 2009, 05:07:19 PM
:mittens:

(http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/4203/roflbotmiuc.jpg)
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on March 24, 2009, 07:01:41 PM
very good! :golfclap:
posture is important, and our overstuffed, reclining lifestyles have wreaked havoc on our uprightness.

incidentally,
my mustache's curls have a tendency to angle forward, and so, for best display i have become accustomed to tilting my head up in compensation.  it subtly changes your perspective and others when you change the angle at which you look at people from...
i shall be looking down my nose at people long after i stuff this 'stache in a shadowbox.
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Jasper on March 24, 2009, 07:09:22 PM
Standing up straight changes my brains.  When I slouch, I feel slouchy, like a pawn shop broker or a hot dog salesman.

Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: That One Guy on March 24, 2009, 07:26:36 PM
So, I've got Postural Kyphosis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyphosis) (a 54o angle of the spine in my case; relatively mild) and I had to wear one of these:

(http://www.nbak.tierranet.com/pixs/milwk257.jpg)

known as a Milwaukee brace, for two years in high school, 6 months of which was 24-hours-a-day. I AM standing up straight, so fuck off  :D
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Jasper on March 24, 2009, 07:30:54 PM
54o?  That's quite grievous.
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: That One Guy on March 24, 2009, 07:57:44 PM
I was trying to type 54 degrees. The "standard" degree range for the angle of the spine (at whichever vertebrae they measure it between - can't remember off-hand) is between 40 and 50 degrees. Thus, I had a mild case and still had to wear that damn thing for 2 years.
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Darth Cupcake on March 24, 2009, 08:10:30 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on March 24, 2009, 05:07:19 PM
(http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/4203/roflbotmiuc.jpg)

Is that a giant glowing heart condom dispenser on the wall behind you? Because if so, we need some of those bad boys in the US.
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Thurnez Isa on March 24, 2009, 08:27:25 PM
 :)
I like this one Rich
Think it's a perfect length
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Richter on March 24, 2009, 08:29:47 PM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on March 24, 2009, 08:27:25 PM
:)
I like this one Rich
Think it's a perfect length


Wait for it....
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Kai on March 24, 2009, 09:17:51 PM
:mittens:
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Pope Lecherous on March 24, 2009, 10:17:59 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 24, 2009, 08:29:47 PM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on March 24, 2009, 08:27:25 PM
:)
I like this one Rich
Think it's a perfect length


Wait for it....

PERFECT LENGTH!!?


hahahahahahahahaha

like a weiner

hehe
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Triple Zero on March 24, 2009, 11:24:12 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on March 24, 2009, 08:10:30 PM
Is that a giant glowing heart condom dispenser on the wall behind you? Because if so, we need some of those bad boys in the US.

actually, yes i believe it is :) the things on that wall belong to some kind of friends-clubs things in my old student association, that are called "boats" for some reason. the things on the wall are meant to be "figureheads". the condom dispenser belongs to a boat named "The Loveboat".
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Jasper on March 24, 2009, 11:44:00 PM
Quote from: That One Guy on March 24, 2009, 07:57:44 PM
I was trying to type 54 degrees. The "standard" degree range for the angle of the spine (at whichever vertebrae they measure it between - can't remember off-hand) is between 40 and 50 degrees. Thus, I had a mild case and still had to wear that damn thing for 2 years.

I knew what you meant, the degree symbol just failed to work when I copy/pasted it.

Mostly I was imagining a spine bent 54 degrees over.
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Kai on March 24, 2009, 11:56:52 PM
every time I see this thread it reminds me not to slouch.
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Richter on March 25, 2009, 01:26:02 PM
Thanks all!

Quote from: That One Guy on March 24, 2009, 07:57:44 PM
I was trying to type 54 degrees. The "standard" degree range for the angle of the spine (at whichever vertebrae they measure it between - can't remember off-hand) is between 40 and 50 degrees. Thus, I had a mild case and still had to wear that damn thing for 2 years.

TOG:  I did not count on your return.  I have slandered you and dishonored myself.  I will redeem myself through death with the seppuku ritual, which will cause me to hunch onver in pain as I expire.
-Sincerely  Deacon "Irony is my Kaishaku" Richter

Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Richter on March 25, 2009, 01:27:05 PM
Quote from: Pope Lecherous on March 24, 2009, 10:17:59 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 24, 2009, 08:29:47 PM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on March 24, 2009, 08:27:25 PM
:)
I like this one Rich
Think it's a perfect length


Wait for it....

PERFECT LENGTH!!?


hahahahahahahahaha

like a weiner

hehe

I find your lack of refined delivery disturbing.
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Pope Lecherous on March 25, 2009, 04:43:38 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 25, 2009, 01:27:05 PM
Quote from: Pope Lecherous on March 24, 2009, 10:17:59 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 24, 2009, 08:29:47 PM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on March 24, 2009, 08:27:25 PM
:)
I like this one Rich
Think it's a perfect length


Wait for it....

PERFECT LENGTH!!?


hahahahahahahahaha

like a weiner

hehe

I find your lack of refined delivery disturbing.

::immature weiner joke::
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: That One Guy on March 25, 2009, 06:32:45 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 25, 2009, 01:26:02 PM
Thanks all!

Quote from: That One Guy on March 24, 2009, 07:57:44 PM
I was trying to type 54 degrees. The "standard" degree range for the angle of the spine (at whichever vertebrae they measure it between - can't remember off-hand) is between 40 and 50 degrees. Thus, I had a mild case and still had to wear that damn thing for 2 years.

TOG:  I did not count on your return.  I have slandered you and dishonored myself.  I will redeem myself through death with the seppuku ritual, which will cause me to hunch onver in pain as I expire.
-Sincerely  Deacon "Irony is my Kaishaku" Richter



No need to do all that on my account - gets the floors all messy or ruins perfectly good drop-cloths.

Seriously - that brace was fun in some ways, admittedly. I was never sure how the people in my high school saw it. Did they think it was from an accident? Some experiment gone awry? No one ever asked, outside of a couple of friends (who were as much social outcasts as me) and I never said. I definitely confused the shit out of my classmates, though, so at least I had that going for me  :mrgreen:

At least I never had to get the 3 titanium rods surgically inserted into my spine, so 2 years in a horrible brace is a small price to pay.
Title: Re: STOP SLOUCHING.
Post by: Richter on March 25, 2009, 06:43:32 PM
Yikes, glad the brace rectified the problem though!  I've known two folks who needed the rods, or disks fused to resolve things.  They were both very much active folks though, and ended up working around it to the point you'd never know unless they told you.