Now announcing Intermittens issue # ש: The :cn: issue.
Now taking submissions for conspiracy theory, AWS communiqués, and outright lies.
As apparently not said by Hassan i Sabbah, "Nothing is true; everything is permitted".
Please note I will also be raiding the archives, and asking permission to reprint.
That is all.
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=14322.0
Now that's what I'm talking about!
I can also throw some knowledge your way. The source may not like you using his work directly, but if you filter out the facts, then reword it, you'll have some top notch conspiracy material.
Alternatively, I could write it up, but it might take ages to do so.
Go for it. I may even add some of my own outright lies, for the hell of it.
Also, going through the archives, this may as well be called the "Cain and Roger" issue.
Unless some of you spags want to hit me with some disinfo COINTEL
LMNO, this is probably something I can contribute to. It'll have to be in a week or more, I'm gunna be away this weekend.
My contribution will prolly just be some kind of massive lie. My imagination needs an excuse to run wild for a bit.
Massive lies is just what I'm looking for.
However, massive lies that sound true would be even better.
For example, Costco being behind the survivalist movement.
I'll aim to try and keep it sounding kinda true then :)
You're going to need to throw some real truth in there to make the lies sound more credible.
Will it be obvious to the reader that the issue is full of falsehood? (and we should go over-the-top with our disinformation)
Or is the intent to lie credibly, to bait/create the paranoid?
also, what's the ש called? and what's it mean?
The character is the hebrew letter "shin", because I have no idea when it will be coming out, and we decided to be ordered in our issue numbering system.
The readers should be clued in by the fact it's called the :cn: issue... I think a nice mix of the maybe true, the almost true, and the outright false should be interesting. Something plausible (but false) following something obviously false could lead the reader into more credulity.
And, there might be one really real truth in there, but it's probably going to be unbelievable.
LMNO, some notes
http://ifile.it/cv1px8d
Each entry starts on a new page. I've tried to keep it as parapolitical as possible, but some religion and UFO stuff has snuck in around the edges.
Sweet, I'll download that when I get home.
In that case, I'm going to give The Masses a sample of the goodness within:
QuoteFrom The Huffington Post:
Vice President Dick Cheney was taken to the cardiac unit of the Vail Valley Medical Center. Contrary to Associated Press reports that he went to see orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Steadman, for a knee injury, Vice President Cheney went directly to the cardiac unit to see Dr. Jack Eck and his team. The Vice President checked into the hospital under the name of Dr. Hoffman.
Interesting choice of alias for the Homeland's Regent. The most famous, or perhaps infamous, doctor to bear that name is Dr Albert Hoffman: the "father of LSD."
Dr Hoffman writes, in LSD: My Problem Child, that the most significant insight he had gained by his LSD experiments is that "what one commonly takes as 'the reality,' including the reality of one's own individual person, by no means signifies something fixed, but rather something that is ambiguous-that there is not only one, but that there are many realities, each comprising also a different consciousness of the ego."
Were you able to read that without recalling the notorious words of the true voice of the White House, spoken to Ron Suskind last Fall? These words:
We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality - judiciously, as you will - we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors...and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.
The cocaine metaphor is a common touchstone for critics of the administration. That might have been the poison of choice for the empty suit at the top, but it's not his administration, it's Cheney's, and cocaine doesn't make pharmacological sense of the bad trip he's sent us on. The White House is not a crack house, it's an acid house.
I don't know whether Cheney's choice of alias was deliberate, though with this man, I suspect everything either is, or deliberation is irrelevent. Why not "Mr Hoffman"? Let's remember, as much as we'd like to forget, that it's not too long ago that he wore a green parka and wool cap with the words "Staff 2001" to an Auschwitz memorial service.
And it must said, there is a resemblance.
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=17627.0
Stephen Colbert's DNA will resurrect humanity, making him in fact the closest thing to a modern day Jesus.
Quote from: LMNO on April 02, 2009, 03:43:45 PM
The character is the hebrew letter "shin", because I have no idea when it will be coming out, and we decided to be ordered in our issue numbering system.
I don't remember agreeing to this. I'm trying to beat number 5 to the press as we speak :evil:
Another link of goodness: http://ifile.it/e9xk8rm
Sample
QuoteYou're a Belgian, and it's 1985. For three years, the province of Brabant has been traumatized by an unexplained wave of exceptionally brutal assaults upon unexceptional targets (supermarkets, restaurants, factories; the common places of ordinary people). Theft is not the motive; only small amounts of money are stolen by the hooded men, seemingly for incident, and often found dumped soon after. The motive is only terror.
From Daniele Ganser's description of the final attack, November 9, on the Delhaize supermarket in Aalst:
QuoteA prominent day in the Christmas season, November 9 is St Martin's day in Belgium, the local Santa Claus, and children on the night before leave carrots in front of the house for the horse of St Martin and go to bed with wishes for wonderful Christmas presents. The next morning, a busy Saturday, people hurried to the Delhaize supermarket to make their last minute purchases. What happened thereafter was reconstructed from the testimony of witnesses. A Volkswagon GTI was parked outside the supermarket and three armed men with hoods over their heads came out of the car. The tallest of the three produced a pump-action shotgun, opened fire at point blank range and finished off in cold blood two shoppers instantly. Upon reaching the checkout counter he began to fire randomly at anything that moved. "I saw three masked men coming out at the rear. A man said to his child "Drop down! There they are! ... One bystander who tried to flee was shot at, seven or eight bullets through his car and a shot grazing behind the ear." Total panic reigned. "One woman whose face was covered in blood, was screaming something about her child. I don't know exactly what." There was little cover or shelter for the terrified shoppers in the aisles of the supermarket from the three masked gunmen. In the ensuing massacre eight people, including a whole family, died, and seven more were injured. A husband and wife and their 14-year-old daughter were finished off in cold blood at the supermarket checkout. Another father and his nine-year old daughter were killed in their car trying to flee. The takings from the raid amounted to a meagre couple of thousand pounds, found later in a canal in an unopened sack. The killers escaped without a trace and have not been identified, nor arrested, nor tried ever since. The actors behind the series known as the Brabant massacres remain unidentified until today.
But that's not all we know.
In 1990 a parliamentary report into the massacres concluded that the killers were members or former members of the security forces: "extreme right-wingers who enjoyed high-level protection and were preparing a right-wing coup," wrote Phil Davidson in Britain's The Independent on Sunday. "The Brebant killings were part of a conspiracy to destabilize Belgium's democratic regime, possibly to prepare the ground for a right-wing coup." Just months later, the hidden architecture of fascist terror was revealed when Belgium's secret "stay behind" army - its own Gladio network - was disclosed. (It's from Ganser's NATO's Secret Armies, which tells similar stories from all across Western Europe, that the above excerpt is drawn.)
A militant branch of Belgium's extreme right-wing Front de la Jeunesse, the FJ, was called "Group G," as it was almost entirely composed of members of the Belgian Gendarmerie. The Gendarmes were also members of the military secret service, which was directed by the same branch that ran Belgium's secret army. By 1979 Group G was renamed the Westland New Post, but it remained distinct in its members' roll of military secret police. Its commander during the massacres was a man named Paul Latinus, who had been recruited in 1967 at the age of 17 by the US Defence Intelligence Agency, and until a left-wing magazine exposed him in 1981 had worked as an advisor to the Labour Minister.
In Allan Francovich's 1992 documentary Gladio he interviewed one of Group G's first members, Gendarme Martial Lekeu, who fled to Florida in 1984 after threats against his family. Lekeu testified that in 1983 he had gone to the special branch investigating the massacres with information implicating the secret service. "I was surprised that no arrests had been been made and I know that I did report myself what was going on," he told Francovich, as quoted by Ganser. "We were respecting killing like that - random killing or going into supermarkets and killing people, even kids.... So I told a gentleman I met: 'Do you realize members of the Gendarmerie of the army are involved in that?' His answer was 'Shut up! You know, we know. Take care of your own business. Get out of here!' What they were saying was that democracy was going away, the leftists were in power, the socialists and all this, and they wanted more power."
WNP member Michel Libert explained to Francovich that "One received orders. We can go back to, say, 1982. From 1982 to 1985, there were projects." Sensitive projects. He claimed he had been directed to case supermarkets: "What kind of locks are there? What sort of protection do they have that they could interfere with our operations? Does the store manager lock up? Or do they use an outside security company?" His superior told him that "You, Mr Libert, know nothing about why we're doing this. Nothing at all. All we ask is that your group, with cover from the Gendarmerie, with cover from Security, carry out a job." He adds: "We carried out the orders and sent in our reports."
From Florida, Lekeau said "the guns they were using were coming from far away and that's exactly what we had planned, to organize gangs and groups like that and let them go by themselves, but make sure they will survive and make sure to supply them and you know just to create a climate of terror in the country - [a] so-called 'Left movement" who will do a terrorist attempt just to make-believe, make the population believe that these terrorist attempts were done by the left."
Now, you're an American, and it's 2006.
LMNO,
Shin is Hebrew for 300.
If that is part of the numbering system you'll be publishing this issue from some shitty retirement home.
:wink:
But verily does not the Principia Discordia sayeth, "He who is without Shin, cast the first stone"?
Someone once threw a stone at me and it damn near broke my shin.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 03, 2009, 10:22:19 AM
Quote from: LMNO on April 02, 2009, 03:43:45 PM
The character is the hebrew letter "shin", because I have no idea when it will be coming out, and we decided to be ordered in our issue numbering system.
I don't remember agreeing to this. I'm trying to beat number 5 to the press as we speak :evil:
:asshat:
PWND
:argh!:
Fuck you industrious bastards and doublefuck the one who decided to skip iss 4 thereby halving the ammount of time I have to get mine done
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 09, 2009, 03:23:59 PM
:argh!:
Fuck you industrious bastards and doublefuck the one who decided to skip iss 4 thereby halving the ammount of time I have to get mine done
We didn't skip issue 4, we had to pull it to settle that lawsuit!
You could have waited until after issue 3 was out before it was pulled tho. That'd have given me another month :argh!:
Because it got lost in the other thread:
LET IT BE KNOWN, that I intend to continue Intermittens Shin, the :cn: issue.
HOWEVER, once it is completed and posted on intermittens.org, I intend to pay each writer $0.01 a word. So, write a couple of paragraphs, and I'll send you a dollar if it gets into the issue. Write a fantastic conspiracy theory, you'll be able to afford a six-pack. Write a dissertation, and dinner's on me.*
That doesn't mean I'll pay anyone just for sending me some content. As the editor, I have a thumbs up/thumbs down decision whether it goes in or not. If I feel that it's too long, i will ask the author to trim it, rather than do it myself. If the piece gets into the issue, I'll paypal what I owe you.
FURTHERMORE, If (if, indeed) the issue actually goes to print, and if it generates profit after production costs are met, all profits will be divided in a percentage equal to the percentage of the issue the writer contributed to. So, if you wrote one page of a ten-page issue, you get 10% of any profits.
You might notice I don't make money off of this. That's because I feel the contributers are more important than the publishers. Until an Intermittens business model can be proven as profitable, I don't get paid. In fact, I lose money.
Welcome to the world of publishing.
*Due to the variable nature of art, all graphics will be negotiated beforehand.
I can't remember whether its been used in an Intermittens issue yet, but the Sacred Bull story seems like it might fit in the :cn: issue?
The Parable of the Sacred Bull is in issue 1, page 33 (http://www.scribd.com/doc/13236803/InterMittens-vol-0123)
Ah, never mind then.
DISCORDIAN VOWEL SOUNDS
Their proper intonation and uses
By, Ld. Dr. Fenian Timelord FRC Chd KSC KLF 6°=5
Headmaster, Tesla Institute for the Advanced studies of Discordian Dialectics,
Discordian Chaosopher,
Archimandrite of the Kreeping Krishna Thelematic-Caodai Cabal,
Prelate, Church of the 7-Faces of Dr. Lao,
Illuminati Grand Magistrate V°,
Rosicrucian Mystic,
Master of Toast,
Lord High Temporal Pyrate,
------------------------------
HAIL ERIS!
Many students to western Mysticism may or may not be familiar with the Rosicrucian use of Vowel Sounds. But for the purposes of this monograph no prior knowledge of it is necessary which of course makes this whole sentence pointless. HEEHE!
In order to better manifest and channel the Eristic principles in the MEGABIGTOTALLYHUGEFUCKOFF multiverse; the ancient use of Discordian Vowel sounds that I just made up complete an easy hands on approach to changing the matter and vibrations around you, seriously if you don't believe me try and use the following (Patent Pending) Discordian Vowel Sounds of which there are 5!
1. HEEHE-
(pronounced like Michael Jackson would in a song)
This Vowel Sound affects the psychic centers located within your cecum and is used to declare your intent to intend to do something esoteric and mystical.
2. PHTTT-
(Pronounced like a fart noise)
The all purpose Vowel Sound of PHTTT awakens your pineal gland and vibrates at a frequency of 1.21
Jigga-Watz. It is used for whatever purpose you want it to serve at that time. To properly use this sound, make the Sign of Eristic Blessing (Think peace sign or roman numeral 5) inhale deeply and make a long loud PHTTT! The manifestations should become apparent immediately if performed properly (whatever that is)
3.OWWWW!
(Pronounced like James Brown)
This Vowel Sound is used to heal and balance the Hodge and Podge. The use of this Vowel Sound has been known to raise certain people's vibrations many many levels from one single intonation. It is an all purpose feel good tonic Sound
4. EEWWW
(Pronounced like Gladys Ridgeford after taking a shot of bourbon)
This vowel sound affects the central nervous system and bowels of men. In women it affects the vaginal folds. Use this Vowel Sound for random displays of FNORD. When used frequently you will be able to perceive a large auric "G" extending outward above your head.
5. WHHOA
(Pronounced like a stereotypical surfer-guy)
This Sound is used when you want to increase the energy output of whatever it is that you are doing for example to increase the healing vibration you would intone: OWWWW-WHHOA!
Enjoy using these Discordian Vowel Sounds in your daily practices and experience the wonders you can create. Of course Vowel Sounds can be combined to manifest more complex vibration thingies if you so choose, or of course you can completely disregard everything I've shown you in this monograph because its it utter crap..............Or IS IT????
AVE DISCORDIA!
Fenian, ah, welcome to the board I guess, while I think that stuff you posted was better than other pineal-fnord crap we sometimes get, may I suggest this thread isn't the best place for it, we may have other intermittens things being worked on atm (I can't remember) so you could go hunt those threads down for it, as not to clog up LMNO's issue on :cn: or try "bring and brag"
Also, I noticed in your sig you have a radio station-esque sight, may I suggest you check out our radiofreediscordia.org project, there's also a thread on that in the meta forum.
anyways, enjoy :)
Wow dude.
I was under the impression he meant to submit it for Intermittens, not to "clog up LMNO's thread" while we "have other intermittens things being worked on atm (I can't remember)".
This magazine thing only works when people submit material for it.
anyway, welcome, Ld. Dr. FenianTimelord FRC Chd KSC KLF 6°=5
I suppose that could be considered a :cn: sort of thing, as he makes claims that can't be verified.
Thanks Timelord, I'll take it under consideration.
Sorry if I came off harsh or anything, I figured it was meant as some kind of intermittens submission, I just thought it didn't fit in with the theme of this issue.
Though I guess that's not really my call anyway.
I'll stop clogging up LMNO's thread now with my useless ramblings.
Quote from: Ld. Dr. FenianTimelord FRC Chd KSC KLF 6°=5 on April 30, 2009, 01:30:29 PMof course you can completely disregard everything I've shown you in this monograph because its it utter crap..............Or IS IT????
This line alone seems to place it within the borders of :cn: .
i don't have anything made out of text that's worth considering for this issue but i do have a picture...
...it's big because you'll need a big image to look good in print...
(http://www.disc0rd.com/images/cn_jesus.jpg)
Great pic, Vex! :lol:
Anyway, LMNO: you're planning on using wrongly-attributed quotes throughout the issue, right? Seems like it would fit the theme.
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/forum/animatedcramulusbellybump.gif)
Quote from: Cramulus on December 02, 2010, 06:17:39 PM
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/forum/animatedcramulusbellybump.gif)
Link to my Hood Life piece;
http://placiddingo.com/?p=244