Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: minuspace on May 13, 2009, 08:25:45 AM

Title: hamburgers
Post by: minuspace on May 13, 2009, 08:25:45 AM
am looking for a meat tree, don't have time to scower site.
am here to translate snippets of a greater whole...
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 13, 2009, 12:36:55 PM
Um...

Are you asking for advice on how to make good hamburgers? Please to respond with a single "yes" or "no" before adding any 'witty' statements.


Oh screw it, here's a few tips that I know of:

1) Don't over-handle the ground beef. Cut off a good-sized chunk and mush it into shape without a whole lot of fussing. It's a burger; no one cares if it's perfectly shaped.
2) Don't flip it too often while it's cooking.
3) Don't use the really lean ground beef. If there isn't enough fat in the meat, it will taste like an old tire no matter what you do.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: AFK on May 13, 2009, 01:37:50 PM
Visit your local Applebee's. 
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Triple Zero on May 13, 2009, 06:01:44 PM
ground beef needs mixed with egg, bread crumbs and ketchup.

i found, forget the eggs or breadcrumbs and they will fall apart.

ketchup is a good not-so-secret ingredient.

generic random idea says: onion + egg + breadcrumb + ketchup in blender

also salt and pepper

and maybe some cumin

do not put meat in blender, it's a bitch to clean (cause the stringy bits will twist all around the rotating knife, and you basically have to cut and scrape those lose--learned this from preparing pate)
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on May 13, 2009, 06:49:48 PM
hotdogs



:evilmad:
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: LMNO on May 13, 2009, 06:51:42 PM
Chorizo!
\
:crankey:
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 13, 2009, 06:58:55 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 13, 2009, 06:49:48 PM
hotdogs



:evilmad:

I disagree. I can eat more than one hamburger in a row and feel okay, but eating more than one hot dog in a 24 hour period makes my stomach do this:

(http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk61/fnord_photo/TGRRrage2zalgo.jpg?t=1241296583)
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Richter on May 13, 2009, 07:03:48 PM
Keilbasa or GTFO.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 13, 2009, 07:19:25 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 13, 2009, 06:58:55 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 13, 2009, 06:49:48 PM
hotdogs



:evilmad:

I disagree. I can eat more than one hamburger in a row and feel okay, but eating more than one hot dog in a 24 hour period makes my stomach do this:

(http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk61/fnord_photo/TGRRrage2zalgo.jpg?t=1241296583)

I can eat many many hot dogs without ill effect.


Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 13, 2009, 08:30:34 PM
I have an iron gut when it comes to almost anything else... but hotdogs are the bane of my existence. Normal sausages don't have the same effect on me.

But then again, I love capers. I might just be Nigel's culinary antithesis.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on May 13, 2009, 08:34:05 PM
Fine then......

Andouille!


HA!


:evil:
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: minuspace on May 13, 2009, 08:58:29 PM
take beef ground of meat (from tree)
[do whatever you like doing]
[cook]
Top with thinly sliced lardo di collonata
melts
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 13, 2009, 09:00:26 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 13, 2009, 08:30:34 PM
I have an iron gut when it comes to almost anything else... but hotdogs are the bane of my existence. Normal sausages don't have the same effect on me.

But then again, I love capers. I might just be Nigel's culinary antithesis.

:argh!:
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 13, 2009, 09:04:50 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 13, 2009, 09:00:26 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 13, 2009, 08:30:34 PM
I have an iron gut when it comes to almost anything else... but hotdogs are the bane of my existence. Normal sausages don't have the same effect on me.

But then again, I love capers. I might just be Nigel's culinary antithesis.

:argh!:

So, Nigel: what kind of meal do you absolutely despise, loathe, hate, detest, revile, and abhor?

Because I'm pretty sure it's my most favoritest food ever.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 13, 2009, 09:12:01 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 13, 2009, 09:04:50 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 13, 2009, 09:00:26 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 13, 2009, 08:30:34 PM
I have an iron gut when it comes to almost anything else... but hotdogs are the bane of my existence. Normal sausages don't have the same effect on me.

But then again, I love capers. I might just be Nigel's culinary antithesis.

:argh!:

So, Nigel: what kind of meal do you absolutely despise, loathe, hate, detest, revile, and abhor?

Because I'm pretty sure it's my most favoritest food ever.

I really enjoy most food.

However, I once had a squid sushi with mint that was so vile I couldn't force myself to swallow it.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Richter on May 13, 2009, 09:14:41 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 13, 2009, 09:12:01 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 13, 2009, 09:04:50 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 13, 2009, 09:00:26 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 13, 2009, 08:30:34 PM
I have an iron gut when it comes to almost anything else... but hotdogs are the bane of my existence. Normal sausages don't have the same effect on me.

But then again, I love capers. I might just be Nigel's culinary antithesis.

:argh!:

So, Nigel: what kind of meal do you absolutely despise, loathe, hate, detest, revile, and abhor?

Because I'm pretty sure it's my most favoritest food ever.

I really enjoy most food.

However, I once had a squid sushi with mint that was so vile I couldn't force myself to swallow it.

Spit it in the chef's face and prolapse him with awe.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 13, 2009, 09:16:42 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 13, 2009, 09:12:01 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 13, 2009, 09:04:50 PM
So, Nigel: what kind of meal do you absolutely despise, loathe, hate, detest, revile, and abhor?

Because I'm pretty sure it's my most favoritest food ever.

I really enjoy most food.

However, I once had a squid sushi with mint that was so vile I couldn't force myself to swallow it.

Oh. Yeah, that sounds pretty gross.

I enjoy most food too. So much for that whole culinary nemesis thing.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 13, 2009, 09:22:25 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 13, 2009, 09:16:42 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 13, 2009, 09:12:01 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 13, 2009, 09:04:50 PM
So, Nigel: what kind of meal do you absolutely despise, loathe, hate, detest, revile, and abhor?

Because I'm pretty sure it's my most favoritest food ever.

I really enjoy most food.

However, I once had a squid sushi with mint that was so vile I couldn't force myself to swallow it.

Oh. Yeah, that sounds pretty gross.

I enjoy most food too. So much for that whole culinary nemesis thing.

:cry:
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Jenne on May 14, 2009, 12:49:28 AM
Quote from: minuspace on May 13, 2009, 08:58:29 PM
take beef ground of meat (from tree)
[do whatever you like doing]
[cook]
Top with thinly sliced lardo di collonata
melts

1/10.  You got a 1 for using Italian.

I like mincing onion and garlic and mixing it and onion soup mix (as in Lipton) or Worcestershire sauce into the mixture.  The egg is a good idea, as well.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Jenne on May 14, 2009, 12:50:00 AM
Quote from: Richter on May 13, 2009, 07:03:48 PM
Keilbasa or GTFO.

Yes! Kielbasa is orsome!
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on May 14, 2009, 02:30:53 PM
Quote from: Jenne on May 14, 2009, 12:49:28 AM
Quote from: minuspace on May 13, 2009, 08:58:29 PM
take beef ground of meat (from tree)
[do whatever you like doing]
[cook]
Top with thinly sliced lardo di collonata
melts

1/10.  You got a 1 for using Italian.

I like mincing onion and garlic and mixing it and onion soup mix (as in Lipton) or Worcestershire sauce into the mixture.  The egg is a good idea, as well.

Stuffing burgers w/ minced jalepenos and cheddar cheese, FTW. I like using minced onions and/or the onion soup mix too, but haven't done garlic before - and I love garlic. I'll have to throw some in next time.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on May 14, 2009, 02:35:40 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 13, 2009, 07:03:48 PM
Keilbasa or GTFO.

Yes! Especially with pierogis!
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 14, 2009, 05:55:27 PM
I once had a burger with prosciutto and blue cheese. I nearly died from the indulgence overkill.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Richter on May 15, 2009, 03:33:02 PM
Wow, WANT  :fap:
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 15, 2009, 08:17:24 PM
Not only was it incredibly delicious, I actually had to fight for it. I got on the Bridgeport-Port Jeff ferry shortly after eating it and it just so happened to be the worst weather I have ever experienced while on that boat, so I spent most of the journey engaged in a life-or-death struggle with my gut to hold on to that delicious burger.

I won.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Roaring Biscuit! on May 15, 2009, 08:19:31 PM
i once wrapped a burger in a magarita pizza.  I called it purgerita.  It was the best thing ever.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: LMNO on May 15, 2009, 08:43:02 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 15, 2009, 08:17:24 PM
Not only was it incredibly delicious, I actually had to fight for it. I got on the Bridgeport-Port Jeff ferry shortly after eating it and it just so happened to be the worst weather I have ever experienced while on that boat, so I spent most of the journey engaged in a life-or-death struggle with my gut to hold on to that delicious burger.

I won.

Hold up.


The BPPJ Ferry?


Where did you buy this burger, comrade?



Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 15, 2009, 09:19:31 PM
There's a place in Port Jefferson called the I-Forgot-The-Name-Of-It, but I think it was some kind of bistro-style fancy burger place. Within a short walk of the ferry itself. They had a section of the menu where you selected anything you wanted to be put on your burger.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: minuspace on May 15, 2009, 10:16:42 PM
just go chinese
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 15, 2009, 11:49:19 PM
Quote from: minuspace on May 15, 2009, 10:16:42 PM
just go chinese

http://discordia.wikia.com/wiki/Pinealist
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Iason Ouabache on May 17, 2009, 01:37:51 AM
Quote from: Cainad on May 15, 2009, 09:19:31 PM
There's a place in Port Jefferson called the I-Forgot-The-Name-Of-It, but I think it was some kind of bistro-style fancy burger place. Within a short walk of the ferry itself. They had a section of the menu where you selected anything you wanted to be put on your burger.
Tommy's?
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: LMNO on May 18, 2009, 05:20:57 PM
Hm.  I'll be there this weekend, I'll have to check it out.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Suu on May 18, 2009, 05:55:14 PM
Booo, Bridgeport Ferry. If you're going to drive that fucking far from up here, may as well drive around.

-Suu
New London-to-Orient or Bust.

However, burgers = win. We have one at work that's just boursin cheese, sunflower seeds, and alfalfa sprouts, and we started a new one now with bacon, cheddar, lettuce, tomato, and a sriracha-dijon sauce.  :fap:
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: LMNO on May 18, 2009, 06:01:10 PM
Yay, bridgeport ferry. 

90 -> 84 -> 91 -> 15 = 2.5 hours.

BP to PJ = 1 hour, with cocktails.

PJ to parent's house = 5 minutes.


AS OPPOSED TO:

90 -> 84 -> 91 -> 15 -> 95 -> Throg's Neck -> LIE -> 495 -> 25a -> Parent's house = 4 hours, no cocktails.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Suu on May 18, 2009, 06:36:32 PM
95->New London

NL-OP = 1.30hr, with cocktails, lighthouses, and the occasional submarine out of Groton.

OP ->25a/Ocean Rd. = WINERIES/Riverhead Outlets -> PJ

-Suu
Thinks from a different geographical and gender perspective.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: LMNO on May 18, 2009, 06:44:04 PM
But 95 sucks ASS.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Suu on May 18, 2009, 06:50:58 PM
From Rhode Island it makes the most sense. I'm not going to take Rte 6 to 91 and back to 95, that's 'tarded.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: LMNO on May 18, 2009, 06:57:05 PM
the pike to 84 is the quickest way from Boston, so I guess your milage may vary (literally).
Title: hotdogs > hamburgers
Post by: the last yatto on May 30, 2009, 04:05:37 AM
(http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/9127/dinnerg.jpg) (http://img17.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dinnerg.jpg)
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 30, 2009, 04:45:36 PM
The hot dogs look revolting, but the plate they're on is AWESOME.
Title: Re: hamburgers
Post by: the last yatto on May 31, 2009, 12:12:38 AM
3 mins in the micro was probally too much.
and my highschool sweetheart gave me that plate with cookies on it, i think for my birthday