Erisesiastes 1
Everything May Be Meaningless
1 The words of the Spag, [a] son of humans, Pope in Discordia:
2 "Absurd! Absurd!"
says the Spag.
"Utterly Absurd!
Everything is Absurd."
3 What does man gain from all his labor
at which he toils under the sun?
Except for sunburn, a bad back and
a retirement plan that goes away
when the corporation goes bankrupt?
4 The generations come and go, children of men
become beatniks. Children of beatniks
become hippies. Children of hippies
become spoiled brats and the earth
continues onward, unaware of the philosophies
of the spags that run around on its surface.
5 The sun rises and the sun sets,
no matter what view of the solar
system we might have. It will
warm the flat earther, just as
it will warm the one who knows
the earth to be round. So then
what value is in the knowing?
6 The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
its blowing generates energy for some
and its blowing destroys property for others.
No matter how we plan, we can neither
stop nor start the blowing of the wind.
7 All streams flow into the sea,
often carrying garbage, waste
and pollution; yet the sea is
never full of water, but it is
filling with garbage.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again. Leaving the
old garbage and bringing more next time.
Such is all philosophy.
8 All things are strange,
more than one can say.
No matter what we see, no matter
what we hear, there is always more.
9 In all things do we repeat ourselves;
That which we argue about has been
argued before. That which we think about
has been thought about before.
There is nothing new under the sun,
and yet none of us will ever see or
experience all of it.
10 Is there anything of which one can say,
"Look! This is something new"?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.
At best, we just happen to be
the first humans to notice it.
11 Not everyone is remembered; those
who are remembered are often remembered
through hyperbole, tall tales, legends and
myths. What came before us we see darkly
through the lens of history. What will come
next, we have no way of knowing.
12 I, the Spag, was a Pope in Discordia.
13 I devoted myself to study and to explore by wit all that is done by humans. What a heavy burden Man has laid on men! 14 I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are silly, like chasing after the wind.
15 What is twisted can be straightened;
but it will always have a weakness there.
What is lacking can be counted, but you
have to use negative numbers.
16 I thought to myself, "Look, I have grown and increased in ideas as much as anyone in Discordia ever has! I have experienced much and learned much." 17 Then I applied myself to the understanding of nonsense, and also of sense, but I learned that all of this, too, is a chasing after the wind, absurdity upon absurdity, especially if you try to argue over it. And then I met other Spags who had also thought of all these thing which I thought unique to me.
18 With much freedom comes much sorrow
but also joy; the more awareness,
the more grief but also pleasure.
It's a balancing act and likely to end
with a pie in the face.
:mittens: That was beautiful. Ecclesiastes has always been one of my favorite books of the Bible. Are you planning on doing any other chapters?
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on June 11, 2009, 09:16:30 PM
:mittens: That was beautiful. Ecclesiastes has always been one of my favorite books of the Bible. Are you planning on doing any other chapters?
As many as possible.
I'm probably missing a lot because I haven't really read Ecclesiastes thoroughly, but I like it.
Also, I suspect we could, in fact, stop the wind blowing if there was a profit in it.
I liked it. Haven't really read the bible in ages, but this has some very excellent verse in there.
Nice. Should do Revelations. Always figured they left out a couple horsmen. Stupidity, Short Sightedness, the more subtle causes for the End.
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on June 12, 2009, 07:07:42 AM
Nice. Should do Revelations. Always figured they left out a couple horsmen. Stupidity, Short Sightedness, the more subtle causes for the End.
There's not enough mushrooms in the world to make something more outlandish than the original.
QuoteThere's not enough mushrooms in the world to make something more outlandish than the original.
I don't know about that. The human mind can come up with some scary shit.
Erisesiastes 2
Nonsense is Absurd
1 I determined to seek pleasures and found complete Nonsense to be pleasurable. Yet, this
too led to absurdity. 2 For that which I deemed Nonsense was sometimes awesome and sometimes
lame and after awhile got repetitive and boring. If Man's Sense is absurd and Man's Nonsense is
absurd, then what can man do? 3 So I embraced folly and silliness and went off to see if it was
worth being completely out of my head.
4 So I wrote Nonsensical poetry and prose. 5 I engaged in Mindfucking those who were not silly and
playing tricks on those who were silly. 6 I engaged in nonsensical metaphysics and created mashups
of all other beliefs, faiths and ideas which probably violated someones Intellectual Property. 7
I drank and smoked and carried on, yet these things were also absurd. 8 For a hangover is a hangover
no matter what you think of the Universe.
9 When I was young I denied myself many things,
for that was the belief of my people.
When I came to find that all is absurd,
I denied myself nothing that I desired.
10 My actions were my own reward and the freedom
I felt was its own payment.
11 Yet, when it was all done and I found
this to be absurd. The man that is
never serious, appears equal in
absurdity as the man who is always
serious.
Wisdom and Folly Are Absurd
12 Then I turned my mind toward Wisdom,
but found that wisdom was subjective
and often depended on how well the person
could argue in circles. I looked also at
Madness and Folly and they didn't appear
much worse for the wear. For many claim to
have wisdom and few claim to be mad. Yet,
from what I can see all are Mad and few are Wise.
13 I saw that wisdom and folly were like the Light and
the Dark. Neither are bad, but unless you live
in Alaska, you probably like your day to be split
between the two.
14 Some may say that the Light is better for one can see.
Another may say the dark is better for one can find
peace. Yet, wisdom or folly or madness, leaves us
equally dead in the end.
15 So why choose Wisdom over Nonsense, if you're dead
either way?
Is the choice not absurd?
16 For both the wise and the foolish will live for a
time and then die. Soon they will be forgotten,
unless they were a real asshole and then they'll
only be remembered in Internet Debates and as
part of Godwin's Law.
17 One could hate life, and see it all as grievous and meaningless. Or one can get with the program and
figure out what to do with the time they have. 18 For that which we create and that which we write
will be passed on to future Spags, and who knows what fucked up ideas they'll have? 19 They will
interpret what you write as they see fit and not care what you thought. 20 After all, you are dead
and they live, that puts all the power in their hands... and even your Copyright material will be
theirs, unless you have an estate. 21 If you have an estate, they'll probably rape your corpse anyway.
22 Eris gives to the Wise man as much shit as she gives to the Fool. 23 She throws apples at the man who
toils under the sun and she throws apples at the man who relaxes on the riverbank in the shade. 24 To
the one in the sun, she gives heat exhaustion; and to the other she trips him and he falls into the
mud. 25 In the end, the only one really having a good time is Eris, the bitch. Embrace Sense or
Nonsense, either way she'll screw with you.
That's pretty cool, Rat.
All we need now is someone to Eris up the Koran and the Bagavad Gita.
:mittens: Only 10 more chapters to go!
Quote from: LMNO on June 24, 2009, 04:09:54 PM
All we need now is someone to Eris up the Koran and the Bagavad Gita.
:hashishim: