...Because now I know that My Immortal (http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/index.htm) exists.
And I am forced to read the horror.
:crankey:
AUHHHHH
:horrormirth:
Why did you share this with us?
HAVE MERCY
Whats wrong with fanfic depicting a bisexual vampiric "goffic" Harry falling in love with someone called Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (because she's so beautiful its a curse)?
Also look out for the cameo.
This needs to be sent to J.K. Rowling
Also http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DrinkingGame/MyImmortal
QuoteWHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!
\\
(http://www.nedgallagher.com/journal/images/AlbusDumbledore.jpg)
I refuse to believe this is anything but a long-term troll, for the sake of retaining my sanity.
"Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in th movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was..... Voldemort!"
Wow you guys are much farther
I win
Also the author has an absolutely SPLENDID knowledge of the human anatomy
Quote
He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.
Quote from: LMNO on June 29, 2009, 05:33:51 PM
"Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in th movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was..... Voldemort!"
I always forget the distinction... Goths wear all black, goth
ics wear pointed arches and flying buttresses.
QuoteI ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears
:lulz:
You all must suffer along with me....
QuoteAnyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed... Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!
Some of the misspellings are so funny I concluded, after reading, that it was a stealth parody.
Quote"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.
Well...
I'm no Harry Potter "Scholar" but I'm pretty damn sure Crookshanks is a cat
Quote from: Cain on June 29, 2009, 05:42:46 PM
Some of the misspellings are so funny I concluded, after reading, that it was a stealth parody.
And the fact that atleast three people's faces have been compared to Joel Madden so far
I am trying so hard not to laugh loudly sitting here in my office, at which point all people in the building will know for certain that I am totally nuts. :lulz:
What... in god's name...is this? :vom:
Fuck you. Fuck ALL of you.
QuoteBut it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.
COOL TEARS DOWN MY FECES :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I'M DYING. :lulz: :cry: :lulz: :cry: :lulz:
Quote from: LMNO on June 29, 2009, 06:30:08 PM
Fuck you. Fuck ALL of you.
QuoteBut it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.
:potd:
OMG THIS IS HILARIOUS this person cant be serious :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :horrormirth:
(http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/Smileys/default/horrormirth3copy.png)
we must concoct a way to measure fanfic.
this will be on the far end of the ruler.
QuoteHe committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.
"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?"
"Enoby something is really fucked up." Draco said.
"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.
"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice.
"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective."
"I will I will." he said.
So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.
"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"
"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge.
"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"
"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is.............................................................................Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way."
I understand if you guys want to ban me.
ban you??
I want to strangle you
plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11
I'm going to pull your endocrine system out of your body
\\
(http://celebpulp.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/gary_busey.jpg)
QuoteI sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. I eight some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was.........Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at eachother.
"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked.
"You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!1"
"No I do!" shouted.
"No she doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco.
"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire. And then.................. he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.
Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden...... a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry. Vampire and Draco stopped fighting....I shopped eating....Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent......................Volzemort!
"Eboby.....Ebony......." Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice. "Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!"
"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged.
"No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling.
I bust into tears. Draco and Vampire came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.
"No!" I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.
:argh!::1fap:
this is the complete opposite of tasting a fine wine
I love how the main character's name is even spelt incorrectly at time.
QuoteI was so excited. I fellowed Draco wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Draco's black car.
"Ebony what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say." whispered Draco potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.
"She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow." I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the car into a tree. We went to the top of it. Draco put on some MCR.
I think I just shat myself.
Here are some choice pieces of crap for observation:
Quote"Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!"
QuoteThen I herd someone shooting angrily.
QuoteDraco and Vampire came to contort me
Quote"But you have to tell me why your being all erective."
Quotemade cool tears down my feces
QuoteI felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.
And that's just from what you guys quoted. :vom:
QuoteI laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued.
You guys wouldn't last long in my line of work. :lulz: I get worse than this everyday, all day.
Quote from: LMNO on June 29, 2009, 08:11:23 PM
QuoteI laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: *dies*
"I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued" is now a meme. :lulz:
Quote from: Jenne on June 29, 2009, 08:45:33 PM
You guys wouldn't last long in my line of work. :lulz: I get worse than this everyday, all day.
Pics or it didn't happen!!!!
Quote from: Cain on June 29, 2009, 07:24:13 PM
I love how the main character's name is even spelt incorrectly at time.
Especially when it is TaEbony.
Either it is a troll, or Tara's keyboard doesn't have a backspace.
This is, by far, the most amazing satirical work I've ever seen. After some muffled laughter and streaming tears, I had to dive in. I just finished the first two chapters. FULL of :lulz:. Whoever wrote this beautiful work is a very smart, very dedicated saint. I hereby canonize the author of my immortal saint frantic salad, patron saint of satirical writers.
:lulz: :lulz:
althou reading this is a little like hitting mself in da face with a birck wall.
:p
:x I love/hate you all right now :lulz:
Quote from: rubickspoop on June 30, 2009, 09:47:48 AM
This is, by far, the most amazing satirical work I've ever seen. After some muffled laughter and streaming tears, I had to dive in. I just finished the first two chapters. FULL of :lulz:. Whoever wrote this beautiful work is a very smart, very dedicated saint. I hereby canonize the author of my immortal saint frantic salad, patron saint of satirical writers.
So, you think its satire and not the real deal?
If only so I don't lose all hope for humanity's future, yes.
Being someone who reads a lot of fanfiction (a lot of really bad stuff as well, including on occasion stuff written by people who do not appear to be writing in their native language -- or a language they know) I would have to say this *has* to be parody. This is way beyond the worst fanfiction I have read.
If you want good fanfiction, by the way, there is an excellent House novella where Princeton Plains Hospital is overrun by zombies. Apart from House strangely referring to Wilson as "Jimmie", something I have never seen him do in the series, the character is perfect.
Especially when he's cracking jokes while killing zombie toddlers with a sledgehammer.
Quote from: Kai on June 30, 2009, 02:49:44 PM
Quote from: rubickspoop on June 30, 2009, 09:47:48 AM
This is, by far, the most amazing satirical work I've ever seen. After some muffled laughter and streaming tears, I had to dive in. I just finished the first two chapters. FULL of :lulz:. Whoever wrote this beautiful work is a very smart, very dedicated saint. I hereby canonize the author of my immortal saint frantic salad, patron saint of satirical writers.
So, you think its satire and not the real deal?
Quote from: Enki-][ on June 30, 2009, 10:07:50 PM
Being someone who reads a lot of fanfiction (a lot of really bad stuff as well, including on occasion stuff written by people who do not appear to be writing in their native language -- or a language they know) I would have to say this *has* to be parody. This is way beyond the worst fanfiction I have read.
I read a lot of fanfic for the comedy of people with few language skills and little creativity trying their hand at creative writing. While there is some hilarious shit out there, this takes the shit cake. It's definitely parody.
BTW: if you like this kinda shit:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5121419/1/Strangers_part_1 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5121419/1/Strangers_part_1) This one made me lol
Going through at a glance, these three pretty much defined "good fanfiction" for me:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4077113/1/A_Question_of_Accuracy
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3886999/1/Shinji_and_Warhammer40k
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3035048/1/Dissonance
On the low end, you've got some stuff that may be worse than My Immortal but merely gets to the So Bad Its Horrible level. It will take time for me to find any of that that isn't satire but is a good example.
That said, there is a very wide middle space that is merely mediocre, and there is a lot that falls just short of 'good'.
oh LOL this is the best reading of My Immortal I have listened to. Here is a link to the user profile, it only gos up to chapter 11 or 12 http://www.youtube.com/user/aquana
HA! a play list! this link starts at chapter 12 LOL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1RJlOmyq6Q&feature=PlayList&p=857359156BA76F56&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=11
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs
Related.
Also, this fanfic is the definition of horrormirth for me, especially the videos (http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/videos.htm), during the sex scenes.
Quote from: LMNO on June 29, 2009, 05:19:54 PM
...Because now I know that My Immortal (http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/index.htm) exists.
And I am forced to read the horror.
:crankey:
:asplode:
Damn it...because of that terrible fanfic I had an experience of intense horrormirth upon watching the trailer for the new harry potter movie and consequently confused everyone around me.
As an aside, now is a brilliant time to wind up the Harry Potter fandom. They hate when films come out, because they wont be faithful to the novels, they'll portray characters to different ways then they are in their head (WHICH IS THE REALLY REAL WAY THEY ARE) and basically get all pissy because a different medium is being used to tell the story. Oh, and the Harry/Hermione shippers and Snape fans will be upset, too.
This is too horror-mirthy to die.
Look what happened when her editor (yes, she had a friend of hers
checking the fucking spelling) left.
Quote"Oh my fuking god!1" I shooted sadly. "Shud we get u 2 St Manga's, bitch?"
"Hel no!" she said. "Lizzen Egogy, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson 4 sum help?"
"Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Draco was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas.
"Hey Sexxy." I said.
"How'd it go Enoby?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking.
"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.
"How far did u go wif Satan?" Drako asked jealously.
"Not 2 far, lol." I borked.
Is there a Nobel prize for trolling?
Quote from: LMNO on July 15, 2009, 12:50:26 PM
Is there a Nobel prize for trolling?
There is now.
Quote from: LMNO on June 29, 2009, 05:19:54 PM
...Because now I know that My Immortal (http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/index.htm) exists.
And I am forced to read the horror.
:crankey:
:horrormirth:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2009, 03:49:29 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 29, 2009, 05:19:54 PM
...Because now I know that My Immortal (http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/index.htm) exists.
And I am forced to read the horror.
:crankey:
:horrormirth:
I downloaded the whole thing a few months ago, but haven't read it. I wish I had it in hardcover.
Quote from: LMNO on June 29, 2009, 05:19:54 PM
...Because now I know that My Immortal (http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/index.htm) exists.
And I am forced to read the horror.
:crankey:
I just read the whole. Fucking. Thing.
:horrormirth:
TGRR,
Thinks this should be a rite of passage.
it is a sad fact that this isnt graphically complemented.
goddamnit, i think 99.9% of the goth crowd is retarded, but why, oh why do those chicks wear almost all the clothing i have a fetish for!
fucking contrarian-attention seeking-antisocial-broken family-childish-cunts :argh!:
Quote from: JohNyx on October 15, 2009, 02:13:10 AM
goddamnit, i think 99.9% of the goth crowd is retarded, but why, oh why do those chicks wear almost all the clothing i have a fetish for!
fucking contrarian-attention seeking-antisocial-broken family-childish-cunts :argh!:
Anyone who considers their equal to be .01% of the population is actually doing it RIGHT. Your quote could apply to any genre, provided you can be a goddam biped.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 15, 2009, 01:42:47 AMI just read the whole. Fucking. Thing.
:horrormirth:
TGRR,
Thinks this should be a rite of passage.
I just finished it. I stopped laughing about halfway through when I stopped believing it was a parody and started to believe it was an honest attempt.
:horrormirth:
Now, for whatever reason, I feel a strong urge to go to Hot Topic to see if I can buy a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and sum blak congress shoes.
Quote from: Pastor-Mullah Zappathruster on October 16, 2009, 02:47:31 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 15, 2009, 01:42:47 AMI just read the whole. Fucking. Thing.
:horrormirth:
TGRR,
Thinks this should be a rite of passage.
I just finished it. I stopped laughing about halfway through when I stopped believing it was a parody and started to believe it was an honest attempt.
:horrormirth:
Now, for whatever reason, I feel a strong urge to go to Hot Topic to see if I can buy a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and sum blak congress shoes.
OMFG stop fucking wiff me okay
BEST STORY EVARRRR!1
I'm going to write a PD.com forums slashfic based on My Immortal.
Tentatively titled My Pineal.
:x:1fap:
I thought this might interest you, LMNO
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/My_Immortal#About_the_Author
You probably wont be able to see it at work, but this article seems to suggest that the My Immortal story is in fact not a troll but an attempted srs piece of fiction.
Tara Gilesbie reminds me very, very much of a troll I used to know who went by Ms. Pnoopie Pnats. She had an incredibly thorough backstory for her troll identity, and maintained it for many years.
WTF is My immortal?
Quote from: DALEKK on February 15, 2010, 05:22:35 PM
WTF is My immortal?
A Terrible Thing.
http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/
LMNO, have you got to the part where Voldemort's true name is revealed?
I'm fairly sure I finished the thing, but I appear to be experiencing PTS, and have blacked out most of the experience.
"I was in the shit... don't ever get out of the boat... the horror... the horror..."
His name, apparently, is Tom Bombadil.
YARGANARGANARGANARGANARG.
\
:crankey:
have you seen her beauuutiful character portrait
(http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2009/359/f/6/Ebonny_by_thdarkmaiden.jpg)
That's pretty good, for MS Paint.
Ridiculously out of proportion and slightly scary, but given the tools used...
Quote from: Cain on March 23, 2010, 07:43:25 PM
That's pretty good, for MS Paint.
Ridiculously out of proportion and slightly scary, but given the tools used...
Bullshit. Mona Lisa in MS Paint (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk2sPl_Z7ZU).
Quote from: PeregrineBF on March 23, 2010, 08:32:08 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 23, 2010, 07:43:25 PM
That's pretty good, for MS Paint.
Ridiculously out of proportion and slightly scary, but given the tools used...
Bullshit. Mona Lisa in MS Paint (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk2sPl_Z7ZU).
Wow, did you see the cheeto Velvis? Proof that a skilled artist can make the most of any medium.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXigfZGqsLM&annotation_id=annotation_1626&feature=iv
Quote from: PeregrineBF on March 23, 2010, 08:32:08 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 23, 2010, 07:43:25 PM
That's pretty good, for MS Paint.
Ridiculously out of proportion and slightly scary, but given the tools used...
Bullshit. Mona Lisa in MS Paint (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk2sPl_Z7ZU).
Given most things drawn in MS Paint look like the finger paintings of a three year old on LSD, you haven't actually refuted my point.
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 23, 2010, 08:37:27 PM
Wow, did you see the cheeto Velvis?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXigfZGqsLM&annotation_id=annotation_1626&feature=iv
I was just going to say that! The portrait in vegemite on toast was pretty impressive too. Actually, they're all pretty good.
Quote from: Cain on March 23, 2010, 08:40:40 PM
Quote from: PeregrineBF on March 23, 2010, 08:32:08 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 23, 2010, 07:43:25 PM
That's pretty good, for MS Paint.
Ridiculously out of proportion and slightly scary, but given the tools used...
Bullshit. Mona Lisa in MS Paint (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk2sPl_Z7ZU).
Given most things drawn in MS Paint look like the finger paintings of a three year old on LSD, you haven't actually refuted my point.
MS Paint is not a powerful tool. Neither are coloured pencils. Yet there is some amazing coloured pencil art out there. Paint's limited abilities (not much beyond coloured pencils) aren't the problem, the problem is that it lets everyone easily make & post images. Most people who are serious about art get something more powerful, leaving the shitty artists on MS Paint.
I've done one or two surprisingly decent drawings on MS Paint.
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on March 23, 2010, 11:50:22 PM
I've done one or two surprisingly decent drawings on MS Paint.
Yep. It's all about how good the artist is.