Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Aneristic Illusions => Topic started by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on July 21, 2009, 03:44:22 PM

Title: Immolation Down Under
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on July 21, 2009, 03:44:22 PM
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/07/21/australia.taser.fire/index.html


QuoteA man, who doused himself with gasoline and charged at an officer, burst into flames when he was hit with a Taser, police in Australia said Tuesday.


At the sight of the arriving officers, the man ran out of the house with a container of gasoline and a cigarette lighter, police said.

When he ignored the officer's command to stop, the officer fired his Taser stun gun -- and the man "caught alight," Munnee said.

Now, why someone would choose to douse themselves with gasoline BEFORE trying to charge a police officer is unknown to me. I would think that would place you at a disadvantage. However, the intelligence of the officer is in evidence:

Quote"He was carrying a lighter and pouring himself with petrol," said Inspector Bill Munnee with the West Australian Police. "We don't know if the lighter set it off or something from the Taser."

He was covered in flamable gas, with vapors all around him... we shot him with a very big spark, but we're unsure of how he caught on fire.

However, for a wild theory, you could check out the DIY Flamethrower video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQSPEDV2aqY which involves flamable gas and... a spark from a taser. Could this explain what must otherwise be an example of spontaneous human combustion?

Of course, since its Australia, the story can't simply be about a crazy guy in gasoline clothing getting a hotfoot from a flatfoot. Never the Aussies for a boring story! Because, of course, a man that hot has to have a Sheila somewhere:

QuoteWhile the officer tried to put out the fire, a woman from inside the house threw rocks at him, Munnee said. The officer suffered both burns from the fire and cuts from the rocks.

There is no real explanation for the rock chucking. I assume throwing rocks at a police visit must be an Oz tradition, like throwing rice at a wedding is around here. Possibly better for the birds in fact.
Title: Re: Immolation Down Under
Post by: Cain on July 21, 2009, 03:50:13 PM
Maybe the idea was if he covered himself in gasoline, the police wouldn't want to risk using the taser, for fear of setting him on fire?

A sadly mistaken notion, but one with a surprising amount of logic, for an Australian.
Title: Re: Immolation Down Under
Post by: Triple Zero on July 21, 2009, 06:27:21 PM
A better idea might be to hand the officer a pair of scissors and say, "Here, hold this.".

That way they will be unable to run and chase after you, when you make your escape.
Title: Re: Immolation Down Under
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on July 21, 2009, 09:55:14 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on July 21, 2009, 06:27:21 PM
A better idea might be to hand the officer a pair of scissors and say, "Here, hold this.".

That way they will be unable to run and chase after you, when you make your escape.

:lulz:
Title: Re: Immolation Down Under
Post by: Kai on July 22, 2009, 03:23:16 PM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: Immolation Down Under
Post by: Rumckle on July 23, 2009, 01:58:19 PM
Quote from: Cain on July 21, 2009, 03:50:13 PM
Maybe the idea was if he covered himself in gasoline, the police wouldn't want to risk using the taser, for fear of setting him on fire?

A sadly mistaken notion, but one with a surprising amount of logic, for an Australian.

I'm not sure why that would stop the cops from shooting him with the taser. The only possible thing that may stop them, would be them shooting him with their guns instead.