Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Techmology and Scientism => High Weirdness => Topic started by: Cain on September 23, 2009, 10:15:19 PM

Title: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Cain on September 23, 2009, 10:15:19 PM
Not in Florida, surprisingly

QuotePolice in Papua New Guinea are hunting the leader of a cult who promised villagers a bumper banana harvest if they had sex in public.

The man and his followers fled naked into the wilderness when police tried to arrest them at the weekend, the Post Courier newspaper reported.

It said the villagers in Morobe province had been promised their banana harvest would increase 10-fold every time they had sex in public.

It said the cult leader was wanted for a range of alleged offences over the past four months, including threatening people and illegal sexual activity.

Inspector Adam Busil said officers had surrounded the man's hut but he refused to come out. The suspect then made a dash for freedom with about seven naked followers.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3485576.html?menu=news.quirkies
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Jenne on September 24, 2009, 07:00:54 PM
Now THAT's the way to  make an exit!  The Marx Bros and Shakespeare's got NUTHIN' on Nekkid-Banana-Sex-Cult-Dude.
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Richter on September 24, 2009, 11:08:41 PM
Bokonon?
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Template on September 25, 2009, 05:22:34 AM
Quote from: Richter on September 24, 2009, 11:08:41 PM
Bokonon?

Were the soles of feet mentioned?
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Bruno on September 26, 2009, 08:24:53 PM
(http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/kk316/Jerry_Frankster/banana_phone3.jpg)
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: the last yatto on March 20, 2010, 10:29:52 AM
 :sadbanana: :buttsecks:  :banana:
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on March 20, 2010, 12:50:36 PM
Those fuckers almost caught me too.


Banananananananananananananananananaaaaaaa!
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Elder Iptuous on March 20, 2010, 02:38:39 PM
the cops chasing them kept slipping on banana peels....
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: BadBeast on March 28, 2010, 01:04:15 PM
Oh you may laugh, but what about those poor villagers? Duped into having sex, in public! This is just another case of someone taking advantage of simple, uneducated people for their own, twisted reasons!
And what kind of a Police force do these people have? Clearly they could do with a little training, in how to arrest people! And what was he doing in his hut, with seven others? Something perverted and distasteful, I shouldn't wonder! I wouldn't be surprised if it was some kind of clusterfuck, possibly with blindfolds, or restraints involved, and they (presumably) do this kind of thing all the time, if this banana scam is anything to go by. When this little group of offensive perverts are eventually rounded up, and made to answer for their filthy crimes, I hope the Courts make an example of them, and hang them all! This is the kind of thing that can ruin whole communities, as they rely on their bananas, and if they have been fooled into banking on a bumper crop, (which obviously isn't going to happen) there might be a lot of repercussions, that are not always evident to the victims, as they fornicate in the street, in the vain hope that it will make them banana rich.   
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 28, 2010, 05:17:32 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on March 28, 2010, 01:04:15 PM
Oh you may laugh, but what about those poor villagers? Duped into having sex, in public! This is just another case of someone taking advantage of simple, uneducated people for their own, twisted reasons!
And what kind of a Police force do these people have? Clearly they could do with a little training, in how to arrest people! And what was he doing in his hut, with seven others? Something perverted and distasteful, I shouldn't wonder! I wouldn't be surprised if it was some kind of clusterfuck, possibly with blindfolds, or restraints involved, and they (presumably) do this kind of thing all the time, if this banana scam is anything to go by. When this little group of offensive perverts are eventually rounded up, and made to answer for their filthy crimes, I hope the Courts make an example of them, and hang them all! This is the kind of thing that can ruin whole communities, as they rely on their bananas, and if they have been fooled into banking on a bumper crop, (which obviously isn't going to happen) there might be a lot of repercussions, that are not always evident to the victims, as they fornicate in the street, in the vain hope that it will make them banana rich.   

Sarcasm? Or troll?  :lulz:
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Jasper on March 28, 2010, 05:20:27 PM
I'm willing to consider that was sincere. :)
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 28, 2010, 05:38:05 PM
Going and reading his other posts, it does look like he's sincere.

But, there are a lot of elements to his post here that I have trouble with. For one thing, the banana sex cult leader may well believe earnestly that his banana sex magic works, in which case he, along with the villagers, are merely participants in a culture of banana sex magic. No-one is accidentally "duped into having sex in public" unless it's somehow part of their cultural makeup or secret desires in the first place... so EITHER public sex was already culturally acceptable to some degree, OR the participants wanted to do it anyway. (Oooh, I needed EOT for that!)

Next up, what he was doing in his hut... "perverted and distasteful", "some kind of clusterfuck, possibly with blindfolds, or restraints involved", "When this little group of offensive perverts are eventually rounded up, and made to answer for their filthy crimes, I hope the Courts make an example of them, and hang them all!"

There's a whole lot of Western morality being superimposed on the situation. Who cares what the eight of them were doing in their tent, as long as it was consensual? It's irrelevant. At most, he should be made to pay restitution to the villagers.

Lastly, it doesn't sound like the police were from the village, but from elsewhere in the province. It's pretty common for Western-influenced governments in other hemispheres to try to suppress native ritual and tribal traditions, which, I will say, is not always a bad thing, but it is completely possible that this whole story is just the urban police department's take on trying to shut down some traditional tribal cultural practices in a rural village, because they are "distasteful" to the Western sense of morality. Keep in mind that not too long ago, Papua New Guineans used to practice cannibalism. Compared to that, magic banana sex cults are pretty harmless.
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: BadBeast on March 28, 2010, 05:45:43 PM
Sarcasm? Or troll?

That's a toughie. I don't even know, and I posted it. Maybe a little of both.  

I've been accused of many things before now, but never have I been suspected of sincerity!
Sarcasm? occasionally, Trolling? many times, but sincerity?  I don't know whether to feel insulted, or vindicated!
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Jasper on March 28, 2010, 05:53:10 PM
QuoteIt's pretty common for Western-influenced governments in other hemispheres to try to suppress native ritual and tribal traditions, which, I will say, is not always a bad thing,

Huh.  I am inclined to disagree, but what examples do you have?
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 28, 2010, 06:04:11 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 28, 2010, 05:53:10 PM
QuoteIt's pretty common for Western-influenced governments in other hemispheres to try to suppress native ritual and tribal traditions, which, I will say, is not always a bad thing,

Huh.  I am inclined to disagree, but what examples do you have?

Papua New Guinea cannibalism, African witch-hunting, East Indian burning or burying the wife alive with her dead husband, African and Middle Eastern female genital mutilation, Middle Eastern execution of rape victims, to name a few.
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Jasper on March 28, 2010, 06:10:45 PM
Ok, now that I can condone interfering with.
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Batty Kissinger on April 02, 2010, 09:56:38 AM
Anything that interferes with any of the above is a damned good thing.
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 02, 2010, 10:20:22 AM
I like the respect the cops showed by surrounding the hut and not just knocking it over.
This is the correct way of dealing with humans.
A man's house is his castle and all that.
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on April 02, 2010, 04:02:15 PM
They should be armed with tasers... if nothing else it will cook the bananas and taste yummy.
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Brotep on April 02, 2010, 04:34:12 PM
(http://thegenderblenderblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/banana-flasher1.jpg)
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Batty Kissinger on April 02, 2010, 08:24:04 PM
That's probably the most horrifying picture I've seen all week.
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Brotep on April 03, 2010, 12:42:26 AM
Not much of a week, is it?
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Batty Kissinger on April 03, 2010, 02:24:38 AM
Yes, well, maybe it's looking up now.
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: Jasper on June 06, 2010, 10:15:39 PM
I promise you all a BUMPer crop of n00bs if you all have sex in public.
Title: Re: Banana sex cultist hunted by police
Post by: BadBeast on June 22, 2010, 02:37:41 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on June 06, 2010, 10:15:39 PM
I promise you all a BUMPer crop of n00bs if you all have sex in public.
Done that now. Where's these n00bs then? (Or did you mean 'have sex in public', with somebody else?)