Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Techmology and Scientism => High Weirdness => Topic started by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 28, 2009, 04:26:52 PM

Title: HITLER WAS A CHICK
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 28, 2009, 04:26:52 PM
Quote
HISTORIANS have been rocked after a DNA test showed Hitler's skull to be from a woman.

The discovery was made by an expert given access to the Fuhrer's remains by Russia.

It has cast doubt on whether the Nazi tyrant really did commit suicide in his Berlin bunker in April 1945.

For 64 years history books have stated the World War II monster took a cyanide pill aged 56 and shot himself as the Red Army closed in.

The Russians later dug up a burnt and buried corpse - its head sporting a bullet hole - which they declared was his.

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,,26134994-5013016,00.html


So, I guess this can mean only two things: Hitler was really female, or he shot his mistress and ran off to Mars on his jetpack to live with Elvis.
Title: Re: HITLER WAS A CHICK
Post by: Dalek on September 28, 2009, 04:54:20 PM
We all know how omnipotent the media is and how they are ready to swallow everything some blogger may offer them, as long it sounds like a sensation. If it's true than -  :lulz:
Title: Re: HITLER WAS A CHICK
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 28, 2009, 04:57:14 PM
Even if it's not, it's worth spreading.

In fact, we should start spreading that Hitler was a jewish gypsy lesbian. The moustache was a giveaway.
Title: Re: HITLER WAS A CHICK
Post by: Suu on September 28, 2009, 04:57:35 PM
My mom once told me that she heard as a child that Hitler was still alive, hiding in a bunker in Germany, reading books about himself.
Title: Re: HITLER WAS A CHICK
Post by: Dalek on September 28, 2009, 05:24:45 PM
A few days ago i read a simular story in a friend's book. Hitler beated up the main character and stole his eybrows to make a mustache out of them  :lulz:
Title: Re: HITLER WAS A CHICK
Post by: The Johnny on September 28, 2009, 06:52:16 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on September 28, 2009, 04:26:52 PM
So, I guess this can mean only two things: Hitler was really female, or he shot his mistress and ran off to Mars on his jetpack to live with Elvis.

I dont see how this is contradictory, he shot her and then took his jetpack and blasted off.

Even do he probably went to Venus since hes a chick "cz' women are from venus and men are from mars"

... but if he shot the chick and that was her skull then he wasnt a chick so he went to Mars  :?
Title: Re: HITLER WAS A CHICK
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 28, 2009, 09:11:02 PM
He could still be a chick. Just a lesbian who murders her lovers.
Title: Re: HITLER WAS A CHICK
Post by: Requia ☣ on September 30, 2009, 04:31:27 AM
I'm curious why they never noticed this before now, male and female skeletons aren't exactly hard to tell apart for people who work with bones (just the skull is enough).  Did the fire damage it that badly?
Title: Re: HITLER WAS A CHICK
Post by: Requia ☣ on September 30, 2009, 04:35:56 AM
This explains a bit.

QuoteAfter Hitler shot himself in his Berlin bunker on April 29 or 30, 1945, his body was taken outside by his staff, doused with gasoline and set ablaze along with the remains of his longtime companion, Eva Braun. Soviet troops seized the remains when they captured the bunker. But what happened later has been shrouded in mystery and speculation. Secret communications between Soviet counterintelligence units in Germany and the government in Moscow tell of repeated burials and exhumations of the remains, and of their final destruction by fire in 1970. The Soviets declared in 1993 that they had the skull of Adolf hitler. The skull with the bullet hole went on display in Russia in the year 2000 and is the subject of some controversy
Title: Re: HITLER WAS A CHICK
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 30, 2009, 04:57:10 AM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on September 28, 2009, 04:26:52 PM
Quote
HISTORIANS have been rocked after a DNA test showed Hitler's skull to be from a woman.

The discovery was made by an expert given access to the Fuhrer's remains by Russia.

It has cast doubt on whether the Nazi tyrant really did commit suicide in his Berlin bunker in April 1945.

For 64 years history books have stated the World War II monster took a cyanide pill aged 56 and shot himself as the Red Army closed in.

The Russians later dug up a burnt and buried corpse - its head sporting a bullet hole - which they declared was his.



http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,,26134994-5013016,00.html


So, I guess this can mean only two things: Hitler was really female, or he shot his mistress and ran off to Mars on his jetpack to live with Elvis.

Or it can mean the story would have been even funnier if you'd gone one link further:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2657015/Her-Hitler-skull-of-Nazi-leader-is-female.html
Title: Re: HITLER WAS A CHICK
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 30, 2009, 04:58:22 AM
Quote from: Suu on September 28, 2009, 04:57:35 PM
My mom once told me that she heard as a child that Hitler was still alive, hiding in a bunker in Germany, reading books about himself.

I told my kids - when they were much younger - that there really IS a Santa Claus, and he really DOES know if you've been good or bad, and that he has an axe.
Title: Re: HITLER WAS A CHICK
Post by: Cain on September 30, 2009, 10:19:18 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on September 30, 2009, 04:57:10 AM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on September 28, 2009, 04:26:52 PM
Quote
HISTORIANS have been rocked after a DNA test showed Hitler's skull to be from a woman.

The discovery was made by an expert given access to the Fuhrer's remains by Russia.

It has cast doubt on whether the Nazi tyrant really did commit suicide in his Berlin bunker in April 1945.

For 64 years history books have stated the World War II monster took a cyanide pill aged 56 and shot himself as the Red Army closed in.

The Russians later dug up a burnt and buried corpse - its head sporting a bullet hole - which they declared was his.



http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,,26134994-5013016,00.html


So, I guess this can mean only two things: Hitler was really female, or he shot his mistress and ran off to Mars on his jetpack to live with Elvis.

Or it can mean the story would have been even funnier if you'd gone one link further:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2657015/Her-Hitler-skull-of-Nazi-leader-is-female.html

I'm sure the Sun's photoshop department is already working overtime on getting a topless picture of Hitler ready to put on Page 3.
Title: Re: HITLER WAS A CHICK
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 30, 2009, 11:36:22 AM
Page 3:
http://namcub.accela-labs.com/pics/page3hitler.jpg