Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: AFK on October 05, 2009, 01:56:42 PM

Poll
Question: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Option 1: Obviously, you are a dumbass RWHN. votes: 1
Option 2: Obviously, you are a cheap dumbass RWHN. votes: 3
Option 3: Subconscious ploy to rationalize why it's okay to buy Starbucks all week. votes: 5
Option 4: Nobody cares, shuddap! votes: 3
Option 5: Hannaford Mind Control Lazors votes: 0
Option 6: Where is the pun? votes: 8
Title: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: AFK on October 05, 2009, 01:56:42 PM
I don't know what happened.  And it really sucks.  Lucky for me I have a meeting at a coffee shop later this morning. 
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: LMNO on October 05, 2009, 02:02:56 PM
Not having a pun in this post is clearly grounds for your removal as the resident punner.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: AFK on October 05, 2009, 02:07:12 PM
You're pressing me because I'm French, right? 
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: LMNO on October 05, 2009, 02:17:15 PM
Don't be bitter just because you're now a regular joe.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
Is it really that bad? I usually bought storebrand myself, and don't mind at all. My gf however prefers Douwe Egberts.

How about storebrand from a different store?

And is Starbucks better than homebrewn storebrand? Really? OK I never had coffee at a Starbucks (they havent invaded this part of the Netherlands yet), but there's enough other coffee bars, and while some of them are pretty good, nothing beats my homebrewn coffee. Maybe I just have a particular taste :)

Instead of a pun, I will give you a set-up:

"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: LMNO on October 05, 2009, 03:27:15 PM
"...cold and bitter."
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:46:04 PM
"... ground up and immersed in hot boiling water."
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: LMNO on October 05, 2009, 03:47:15 PM
"...instant and freeze-dried."
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:48:08 PM
"... covered in whipped cream."
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: LMNO on October 05, 2009, 03:48:56 PM
"...posessed with the ability to keep me up all night."
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 05, 2009, 04:08:28 PM
........ black and bitter



also 000, I'd kill for the quality of coffee you guys probably have compared to the chicory and sawdust they try to serve us at our piss poor coffee shops here (in my state anyway, probably better elsewhere) and our store brand tastes like ass.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Richter on October 05, 2009, 04:54:28 PM
Quote from: Squid on October 05, 2009, 04:08:28 PM
........ black and bitter



also 000, I'd kill for the quality of coffee you guys probably have compared to the chicory and sawdust they try to serve us at our piss poor coffee shops here (in my state anyway, probably better elsewhere) and our store brand tastes like ass.

Even in the great cities of the north, where shit is pricey and pretention drips tenebrously from teh walls, it's still possible to get a cup of compelte SHIT from a place that really ought to do better.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on October 05, 2009, 05:04:24 PM
"... hot and sweet."


If you all are looking for an adventure, try getting coffee from my school dining hall. There is NO consistency at all: one day I'll get a nice strong brew, the next I'll get a moderate brew with a gag-inducing amount of grounds floating in it, and then it's weak-ass brown water. Every day is a new experience!
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Rumckle on October 05, 2009, 05:09:19 PM
"... first thing in the morning."

I dunno, the place I'm living at atm has decent coffee, though the last college I was living at I wouldn't touch their coffee with a ten foot pole
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: fomenter on October 05, 2009, 05:38:34 PM
the quality of the coffee maker its being brewed through,
my last couple were the best coffee maker walmart/target had available
i brewed store-brand no-name brand through them and made good coffee (name brand made great coffee) the last coffee maker i bought was mid priced         
the store brand i bought is now vile and undrinkable..
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 06:01:10 PM
Quote from: Squid on October 05, 2009, 04:08:28 PM
also 000, I'd kill for the quality of coffee you guys probably have compared to the chicory and sawdust they try to serve us at our piss poor coffee shops here (in my state anyway, probably better elsewhere) and our store brand tastes like ass.

you lived in Germany, right? is it really that different?

though my old roommate, when he had to visit the US for his job (with a bunch of collegue dutchspags) was advised to bring some Douwe Egberts if he wanted good coffee, so they pooled together for a bunch of packs :)
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: AFK on October 05, 2009, 06:01:50 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
Is it really that bad? I usually bought storebrand myself, and don't mind at all. My gf however prefers Douwe Egberts.

How about storebrand from a different store?

It's drinkable, but next time I won't be so stingy and spend the extra buck on Maxwell House.  We've had to switch to half-caff because my wife is pregnant and doesn't want all the extra caffeine but doesn't want to give up coffee altogether.  I have limited choices for half-caff in my grocery store, which for the New England spags is Hannaford Bros.  And the thing with Hannaford, is some of the store brand stuff is pretty good.  Coffee, apparently, isn't one of those.  

QuoteAnd is Starbucks better than homebrewn storebrand? Really? OK I never had coffee at a Starbucks (they havent invaded this part of the Netherlands yet), but there's enough other coffee bars, and while some of them are pretty good, nothing beats my homebrewn coffee. Maybe I just have a particular taste :)

It is better than this particular kind.  And actually I'd probably go for Tim Horton's anyway as it's cheaper.  RWHN is a cheap-skate.  

Instead of a pun, I will give you a set-up:

Quote"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

"...always getting me into steep trouble."
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: AFK on October 05, 2009, 06:04:33 PM
Quote from: fomenter on October 05, 2009, 05:38:34 PM
the quality of the coffee maker its being brewed through,
my last couple were the best coffee maker walmart/target had available
i brewed store-brand no-name brand through them and made good coffee (name brand made great coffee) the last coffee maker i bought was mid priced         
the store brand i bought is now vile and undrinkable..

I actually have a really good coffee maker.  It's a DeLonghi "Twenty Four Seven" coffeemaker.  Makes some really good coffee and has this special "aroma" button which I thought would be a joke, but it actually does a good job of enhancing the joe.  But, it's like the saying goes, garbage in, garbage out.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: fomenter on October 05, 2009, 06:18:33 PM
i had good luck with making cheap coffee good when i had a decent coffee maker, it had a brew strength dial (i never tried it on any setting other than strong) and i tossed in a extra scoop of grounds with the cheap coffee,
i don't know what to do with whats left of the garbage coffee i have, i cant drink it, maybe i can try making cowboy coffee out of it and see if that comes out drinkable....  
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 05, 2009, 06:52:42 PM
Coffee is fucking coffee.  Folgers, etc, is just as good as whatever designer brand you feel like wasting your money on. 
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: fomenter on October 05, 2009, 07:11:46 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 05, 2009, 06:52:42 PM
Coffee is fucking coffee.  Folgers, etc, is just as good as whatever designer brand you feel like wasting your money on. 

i think he is referring to Folgers etc as being brand name or good,  and store-brand or generic as being bad 
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 05, 2009, 07:19:05 PM
Quote from: fomenter on October 05, 2009, 07:11:46 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 05, 2009, 06:52:42 PM
Coffee is fucking coffee.  Folgers, etc, is just as good as whatever designer brand you feel like wasting your money on. 

i think he is referring to Folgers etc as being brand name or good,  and store-brand or generic as being bad 

Same shit, if you brew it strong enough.  Coffee is for waking up, working yourself into a frenzy, and puking up squirts of acid in between trips to the bathroom.

At least if you're doing it right.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Richter on October 05, 2009, 07:33:53 PM
Cafe Bustello dmanit.  DR rocket fuel.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on October 05, 2009, 07:39:57 PM
I bought some yummy smelling coffee in the organic section of the grocery. Carmel something-or-other, mmmmm

After making about half the bag in early morning pots, I happened to actually look at the coffee...

It's half coffee and half soybeans.

:argh!:

It is very yummy... but still...

:argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Cramulus on October 05, 2009, 07:43:18 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

burned and tasteless
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on October 05, 2009, 07:45:21 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

Creamed
or

Filled to the Rim
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Cramulus on October 05, 2009, 07:46:54 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

thrown against the wall during a fit of hysterical shrieking
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 05, 2009, 07:47:08 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on October 05, 2009, 07:43:18 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

burned and tasteless

Old and rancid.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Cramulus on October 05, 2009, 07:49:24 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

tossed out the window of a speeding vehicle, thereby injuring a homeless man
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 05, 2009, 07:50:18 PM
Consumed before 3PM.

TGRR,
Not above cannibalism.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Cramulus on October 05, 2009, 08:39:42 PM
sprayed from my ass
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 05, 2009, 09:06:47 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on October 05, 2009, 08:39:42 PM
sprayed from my ass

Well, yeah, that would follow.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Richter on October 05, 2009, 09:42:50 PM
"Orally, if that's allowed in this household / establishment."

- R's stock response to "How do you take your coffee?"
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Suu on October 05, 2009, 11:40:26 PM
Stop and Shop coffee is decent. I've never had a complaint about it.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 06, 2009, 05:48:01 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 06:01:10 PM
Quote from: Squid on October 05, 2009, 04:08:28 PM
also 000, I'd kill for the quality of coffee you guys probably have compared to the chicory and sawdust they try to serve us at our piss poor coffee shops here (in my state anyway, probably better elsewhere) and our store brand tastes like ass.

you lived in Germany, right? is it really that different?

though my old roommate, when he had to visit the US for his job (with a bunch of collegue dutchspags) was advised to bring some Douwe Egberts if he wanted good coffee, so they pooled together for a bunch of packs :)

I lived there till I was 7. Didn't get any coffee. But I did get beer.

????????
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 06, 2009, 05:49:25 AM
PS- Cafe Bustelo is fucking awesome
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Triple Zero on October 06, 2009, 07:56:22 AM
Quote from: Squid on October 06, 2009, 05:48:01 AMBut I did get beer.

????????

my gf (half german) wants to point out this is not exactly common in Germany :) [and somewhat frowned upon]

you mean you got an entire glass or just a few sips from your dad's beer or something?
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 06, 2009, 08:03:12 AM
I like my coffee like I like my women

sweet, full of cream, and keeping me alert.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Triple Zero on October 06, 2009, 08:05:02 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

"... Fair trade."
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Nast on October 06, 2009, 09:28:59 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 06, 2009, 08:05:02 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

"... Fair trade."


"...ground, pressured, and strained."

:?
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Cramulus on October 06, 2009, 03:06:19 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

burning my crotch






thereby prompting a lengthy and frivolous lawsuit
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Triple Zero on October 06, 2009, 04:30:10 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

"... imported from African slavery."
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: LMNO on October 06, 2009, 04:32:33 PM

Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

"...given to me by bored teenagers working for minimum wage."
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: AFK on October 06, 2009, 04:55:57 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

...topped with an artistic rendering in froth."
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: fomenter on October 06, 2009, 05:03:26 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 06, 2009, 04:30:10 PM

"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

"on" a donkey under the direction of a swarthy mustachioed peasant man
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Richter on October 06, 2009, 05:17:15 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 06, 2009, 04:30:10 PM

"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

Well made, with minimal pretention, and frills only occasionally.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 06, 2009, 05:25:34 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 06, 2009, 07:56:22 AM
Quote from: Squid on October 06, 2009, 05:48:01 AMBut I did get beer.

????????

my gf (half german) wants to point out this is not exactly common in Germany :) [and somewhat frowned upon]

you mean you got an entire glass or just a few sips from your dad's beer or something?

Dude, not full glasses. Sips, sips.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 06, 2009, 06:00:58 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on October 06, 2009, 03:06:19 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

burning my crotch






thereby prompting a lengthy and frivolous lawsuit

Sure, if skin grafts on your crotch are "frivolous".
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: LMNO on October 06, 2009, 06:02:54 PM
Hell, they're part of the pre-nup.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Suu on November 07, 2009, 07:29:44 PM
"iced coconut with cream and two sugars."


...Oh wait, this isn't Dunkin Donuts.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: AFK on November 09, 2009, 04:51:41 PM
Last week I learned that the Spectacular Event Center in Bangor has very unSpectacular coffee.  But the Key Lime pie was pretty darned tasty. 
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Freeky on November 19, 2009, 07:59:23 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM
"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

...as a general experiment to see if I like it at all.
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: LMNO on November 19, 2009, 08:01:52 PM
 :fap:
Title: Re: Why did I buy store-brand coffee this week?
Post by: Eater of Clowns on November 19, 2009, 10:03:32 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 05, 2009, 03:24:16 PM"I like my women the way I like my coffee ..."

Green when I get them and brown when I'm finished?