My 26th birthday starts with the moment I post this.
Coincidentally it's another chapter of my life coming to a close & a new one to begin. In a few days I will leave this apartment as well.
As I depart into the next world, let me report some of my findings and expose my own ignorance for the sake of learning some more from you spags. =)
Despite my best efforts this wall of text turned into a mush of different thoughts, please bear with me while I recap a fraction of what is up my mind...
This year, I finally found my self. And I found my home.
It's inside me. That one place, somewhat detached from the usual limits of time and space. The shit can reach up to the door, but can't ever come in. It's where I just am. Where I keep my love, my hate, my cheerfulness, my everything and nothing.
At times I just program myself onto a different plane of existence. Where things are weird and exciting. Where there's real fun, real love, it's the container I build for my self. To just be. It's working great already and there is still potential for improvement. Nature, true people, love.
Back when I left the big prison I ended up creating my own. So I left that and built this flexible thing for my mind instead which I can shape into whatever I want. Sometimes it still slips my grip, sometime I just let it slide for the sake of it. If I had better words for this I'd use them.
When I move out here I will leave behind the clutter I accumulated in the past years, all these things I called my own. It's just pieces of shit really. No more big fancy computer, no more furniture, no more bags of clothes, no more boxes of junk that noone really needs. This friday, lots of it will burn - with me standing next to the fire, grinning like the madman I am at times.
So I look at the world around me and I see that this country turned out to be just like the old one. The same filth, the same mind-numbing bullshit flickering in your face everywhere, the same types of monkeys babbling about the same meaningless things, sure it sounds a bit different but it's essentially the same. The same commercials, the same whores, the same grind, the same corruption, the same the same the same the same the same.
This whole thing stinks to the heavens if you ask me - and when I read your tales, I see the similarities in our worlds. See that it's the same the same the same the same the same everywhere.
I want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
The insights and tools I found, which allow me to live the life I live, to be the person I am - this forum has certainly been a major influence and I want to express my heartfelt thanks. I could name a few people in no particular order, but I would forget some in the process so I just thank you all instead.
With love and cheerfulness. From one world to the next.
Or kill me.
~Planeswalker
QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.
Quote from: LMNO on October 07, 2009, 11:22:44 PM
QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.
This. And continually, unendingly try to find the key to destroying the world so a new world can begin. Having that dream, at least, makes it more bearable.
Quote from: Nigel on October 07, 2009, 11:28:42 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 07, 2009, 11:22:44 PM
QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.
This. And continually, unendingly try to find the key to destroying the world so a new world can begin. Having that dream, at least, makes it more bearable.
I know that laugh. Know it way too well.
Quote from: planeswalker on October 07, 2009, 11:31:23 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 07, 2009, 11:28:42 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 07, 2009, 11:22:44 PM
QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.
This. And continually, unendingly try to find the key to destroying the world so a new world can begin. Having that dream, at least, makes it more bearable.
I know that laugh. Know it way too well.
There are pills, too. They keep your face on.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 07, 2009, 11:34:39 PM
Quote from: planeswalker on October 07, 2009, 11:31:23 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 07, 2009, 11:28:42 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 07, 2009, 11:22:44 PM
QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.
This. And continually, unendingly try to find the key to destroying the world so a new world can begin. Having that dream, at least, makes it more bearable.
I know that laugh. Know it way too well.
There are pills, too. They keep your face on.
I've been considering to just give in, seeing that I still have no career and no money. The pills would finally make me be "fit for work" and I can be that trusty productive member of society that my mom so desperately wants me to be. It would also drown out all those thoughts of burning down this world of shit.
Can I have blue and green ones though? Those are my favorite colors.
get a motorcycle. ride it. check your mirrors often, but don't look back.
It's easy. The end of the world will probably come in our lifetimes.
And we'll have front row tickets.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 08, 2009, 12:31:32 AM
It's easy. The end of the world will probably come in our lifetimes.
And we'll have front row tickets.
Yes, that's just what the Hebrews thought.
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on October 08, 2009, 12:54:40 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 08, 2009, 12:31:32 AM
It's easy. The end of the world will probably come in our lifetimes.
And we'll have front row tickets.
Yes, that's just what the Hebrews thought.
:lol:
Quote from: planeswalker on October 07, 2009, 11:52:18 PM
Can I have blue and green ones though? Those are my favorite colors.
I have pink and green, one to calm me down and one to make me pay attention.
I refuse to take them other than recreationally, though. I especially like combining them.
Quote from: planeswalker on October 07, 2009, 11:07:42 PM
I want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
Maybe it's different for me because I have a young daughter, but I guess that is where I derive my "hope". Not in any sense that I think she or others like her can make any significant, ground-shifting change. But, that if I do my job well as a father, at least I know there is that one more person who will live her life not for The Machine, but for herself. To understand that she will have to, unavoidably, work within The System, but not have to be its unwitting and unquestioning pawn.
That and surrounding myself with friends and family and just finding the paths of happiness, even if they are fleeting and sparse. There is only so much we can do as individuals, or even as bands of individuals when there is a huge majority working against us. But, we can at least make a pocket for ourselves where we can live life OUR way, as much as is possible. We will still be subject to societal failings, but perhaps with breathing room that we make, it will be in distant and separated moments in time.
Those armed with themselves stand the best chance of making it through with some semblence of sanity intact.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on October 08, 2009, 11:02:09 AM
Quote from: planeswalker on October 07, 2009, 11:07:42 PM
I want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
Maybe it's different for me because I have a young daughter, but I guess that is where I derive my "hope". Not in any sense that I think she or others like her can make any significant, ground-shifting change. But, that if I do my job well as a father, at least I know there is that one more person who will live her life not for The Machine, but for herself. To understand that she will have to, unavoidably, work within The System, but not have to be its unwitting and unquestioning pawn.
That and surrounding myself with friends and family and just finding the paths of happiness, even if they are fleeting and sparse. There is only so much we can do as individuals, or even as bands of individuals when there is a huge majority working against us. But, we can at least make a pocket for ourselves where we can live life OUR way, as much as is possible. We will still be subject to societal failings, but perhaps with breathing room that we make, it will be in distant and separated moments in time.
Those armed with themselves stand the best chance of making it through with some semblence of sanity intact.
Loved ones. Definitely.
Ever since
she left , that place I call home became a solitary fortress again. She's the one, I know that much. It's a fundamental truth of my existance... and we still love each other very much - but at this time and space, it's impossible to make more from it than to just enjoy the few moments we can have. It's this love that always keeps me going despite everything else. And which lets me leave this world, and go into the next. For a while.
I have to go with RWHN here.
I see my kids and they see this world so much clearer than I ever did at their age. They see the squalor and depravity every day. It's a black and white world for them and it breaks my heart.
A)
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on October 08, 2009, 12:54:40 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 08, 2009, 12:31:32 AM
It's easy. The end of the world will probably come in our lifetimes.
And we'll have front row tickets.
Yes, that's just what the Hebrews thought.
:lol: :lol: :lol: Beautiful! Thank you for that.
B)
Quote from: LMNO on October 07, 2009, 11:22:44 PM
QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.
As weird as it sounds, I really find that this is essentially it. Tritely put: glass half full, or half empty? The world is going to be a giant shit sandwich that you must continue to take bites of every day no matter what the crap you do. There is no way to not eat the shit sandwich. The only way to opt out is to die. And I guess for some people that works, but I'm not there yet. So you can keep whining about how this shit sandwich tastes fucking AWFUL and you're not hungry and you really prefer wheat bread and jesus, couldn't they have at least stuck it in the microwave for a couple seconds so it's not so cold and rubbery? I mean c'mon, we're eating shit sandwiches when OTHER people get a 7 course dinner; it's just not FAIR! Or you can laugh and douse the goddamn sandwich in fucking hot pepper and once you've chewed it up a bunch you can spit it at people who piss you off and stick out your tongue and gross people out, and then you can laugh even harder.
No matter what, you're eating a shit sandwich. Accept it and laugh at it, and then do what you can with it.
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on October 08, 2009, 02:56:12 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 07, 2009, 11:22:44 PM
QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.
As weird as it sounds, I really find that this is essentially it. Tritely put: glass half full, or half empty? The world is going to be a giant shit sandwich that you must continue to take bites of every day no matter what the crap you do. There is no way to not eat the shit sandwich. The only way to opt out is to die. And I guess for some people that works, but I'm not there yet. So you can keep whining about how this shit sandwich tastes fucking AWFUL and you're not hungry and you really prefer wheat bread and jesus, couldn't they have at least stuck it in the microwave for a couple seconds so it's not so cold and rubbery? I mean c'mon, we're eating shit sandwiches when OTHER people get a 7 course dinner; it's just not FAIR! Or you can laugh and douse the goddamn sandwich in fucking hot pepper and once you've chewed it up a bunch you can spit it at people who piss you off and stick out your tongue and gross people out, and then you can laugh even harder.
No matter what, you're eating a shit sandwich. Accept it and laugh at it, and then do what you can with it.
Welcome to Horrormirth.
Quote from: planeswalker on October 07, 2009, 11:07:42 PM
I want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
I was raised knowing the TRUTH about this fucked up world. I knew that humans had been on earth exactly 6000 years when I was born. I knew that Satan had been kicked out of heaven in 1914 which started WWI and I knew that "This generation that saw all of these things would by no means pass away" before Jesus came to put Satan in the Abyss, kill the evil leaders of Christendom and other False Religions, as well as all those evil government leaders... and anyone else who was a Bad Person.
Then I knew the truth about how he would heal all of our ailments and scars and injuries. God would raise the dead, bring us all back to perfection, we would no longer have to eat meat and we would be at perfect peace with the animals... just like in the Garden of Eden.
These days, I've decided that I don't know the Truth about this fucked up world... I only know the experiences I have, in the context that I had them. I'm perhaps more optimistic than many other Discordians... but after hearing that the world was gonna end, my entire life... the concept seems silly now. Almost every generation seems to think that the world is gonna end in their time, that things have Never Been Worse. In some sense, they're right... the world that they were born into, the world that they grew up in WILL end. It likely will be destroyed before the end of their life, replaced by the next generations world... and that generation will see Armageddon come for them as well.
Life has gone on for millions of years (or thousands depending on what you believe)... I doubt we're in much worse of a shit sandwich than the people before us. I mean hell, a couple hundred years ago we'd be drinking Quicksilver for our health. We'd have a life expectancy of 30 or 40 years, we'd most likely be illiterate and work in fields with little time to think about how shitty the world around us is, or what our philosophy was. I'm not saying we live in a world of roses and candy, but this world is "fucked up" only in some sense... in many other ways, its amazing, fantastic, beautiful, mysterious, exciting and weird as hell.
I also don't see this world as artificial. It's as real as any version of the world before. Sure, people manipulate other people, but that's always been true. People treat each other badly, but that also seems a permanent part of our species.
For me, I can stand it and endure it because the world I live in right now, is a billion times more interesting, exciting, challenging and inspiring than the world that I grew up in.
Quote from: LMNO on October 08, 2009, 02:58:48 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on October 08, 2009, 02:56:12 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 07, 2009, 11:22:44 PM
QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.
As weird as it sounds, I really find that this is essentially it. Tritely put: glass half full, or half empty? The world is going to be a giant shit sandwich that you must continue to take bites of every day no matter what the crap you do. There is no way to not eat the shit sandwich. The only way to opt out is to die. And I guess for some people that works, but I'm not there yet. So you can keep whining about how this shit sandwich tastes fucking AWFUL and you're not hungry and you really prefer wheat bread and jesus, couldn't they have at least stuck it in the microwave for a couple seconds so it's not so cold and rubbery? I mean c'mon, we're eating shit sandwiches when OTHER people get a 7 course dinner; it's just not FAIR! Or you can laugh and douse the goddamn sandwich in fucking hot pepper and once you've chewed it up a bunch you can spit it at people who piss you off and stick out your tongue and gross people out, and then you can laugh even harder.
No matter what, you're eating a shit sandwich. Accept it and laugh at it, and then do what you can with it.
Welcome to Horrormirth.
It tastes like shattered dreams. :cry:
This Japandroids song might be relevant:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOoHAbnhxNI
WE USED TO DREAM!
NOW WE WORRY ABOUT DYING!
Quote from: LMNO on October 08, 2009, 04:08:14 PM
This Japandroids song might be relevant:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOoHAbnhxNI
WE USED TO DREAM!
NOW WE WORRY ABOUT DYING!
Also relevant is this William Shatner song.
HE WANTS TO MAKE LOVE TO THE MOUNTAIN.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU2ftCitvyQ
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on October 08, 2009, 03:20:50 PM
Quote from: planeswalker on October 07, 2009, 11:07:42 PM
I want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
I was raised knowing the TRUTH about this fucked up world. I knew that humans had been on earth exactly 6000 years when I was born. I knew that Satan had been kicked out of heaven in 1914 which started WWI and I knew that "This generation that saw all of these things would by no means pass away" before Jesus came to put Satan in the Abyss, kill the evil leaders of Christendom and other False Religions, as well as all those evil government leaders... and anyone else who was a Bad Person.
Then I knew the truth about how he would heal all of our ailments and scars and injuries. God would raise the dead, bring us all back to perfection, we would no longer have to eat meat and we would be at perfect peace with the animals... just like in the Garden of Eden.
These days, I've decided that I don't know the Truth about this fucked up world... I only know the experiences I have, in the context that I had them. I'm perhaps more optimistic than many other Discordians... but after hearing that the world was gonna end, my entire life... the concept seems silly now. Almost every generation seems to think that the world is gonna end in their time, that things have Never Been Worse. In some sense, they're right... the world that they were born into, the world that they grew up in WILL end. It likely will be destroyed before the end of their life, replaced by the next generations world... and that generation will see Armageddon come for them as well.
Life has gone on for millions of years (or thousands depending on what you believe)... I doubt we're in much worse of a shit sandwich than the people before us. I mean hell, a couple hundred years ago we'd be drinking Quicksilver for our health. We'd have a life expectancy of 30 or 40 years, we'd most likely be illiterate and work in fields with little time to think about how shitty the world around us is, or what our philosophy was. I'm not saying we live in a world of roses and candy, but this world is "fucked up" only in some sense... in many other ways, its amazing, fantastic, beautiful, mysterious, exciting and weird as hell.
I also don't see this world as artificial. It's as real as any version of the world before. Sure, people manipulate other people, but that's always been true. People treat each other badly, but that also seems a permanent part of our species.
For me, I can stand it and endure it because the world I live in right now, is a billion times more interesting, exciting, challenging and inspiring than the world that I grew up in.
:mittens: I'm tired of thinking about the end of the world. Let's go find some interesting things to poke.
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on October 08, 2009, 03:20:50 PM
I was raised knowing the TRUTH about this fucked up world. I knew that humans had been on earth exactly 6000 years when I was born. I knew that Satan had been kicked out of heaven in 1914 which started WWI and I knew that "This generation that saw all of these things would by no means pass away" before Jesus came to put Satan in the Abyss, kill the evil leaders of Christendom and other False Religions, as well as all those evil government leaders... and anyone else who was a Bad Person.
Then I knew the truth about how he would heal all of our ailments and scars and injuries. God would raise the dead, bring us all back to perfection, we would no longer have to eat meat and we would be at perfect peace with the animals... just like in the Garden of Eden.
These days, I've decided that I don't know the Truth about this fucked up world... I only know the experiences I have, in the context that I had them. I'm perhaps more optimistic than many other Discordians... but after hearing that the world was gonna end, my entire life... the concept seems silly now. Almost every generation seems to think that the world is gonna end in their time, that things have Never Been Worse. In some sense, they're right... the world that they were born into, the world that they grew up in WILL end. It likely will be destroyed before the end of their life, replaced by the next generations world... and that generation will see Armageddon come for them as well.
It was my intent to partially comment on this in my last post, but Iason's Hebrews comment was just to goddamn
good.
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on October 08, 2009, 03:20:50 PM
Life has gone on for millions of years (or thousands depending on what you believe)... I doubt we're in much worse of a shit sandwich than the people before us. I mean hell, a couple hundred years ago we'd be drinking Quicksilver for our health. We'd have a life expectancy of 30 or 40 years, we'd most likely be illiterate and work in fields with little time to think about how shitty the world around us is, or what our philosophy was. I'm not saying we live in a world of roses and candy, but this world is "fucked up" only in some sense... in many other ways, its amazing, fantastic, beautiful, mysterious, exciting and weird as hell.
I also don't see this world as artificial. It's as real as any version of the world before. Sure, people manipulate other people, but that's always been true. People treat each other badly, but that also seems a permanent part of our species.
For me, I can stand it and endure it because the world I live in right now, is a billion times more interesting, exciting, challenging and inspiring than the world that I grew up in.
And we might well have been happier for it.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 08, 2009, 09:41:42 PM
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on October 08, 2009, 03:20:50 PM
Life has gone on for millions of years (or thousands depending on what you believe)... I doubt we're in much worse of a shit sandwich than the people before us. I mean hell, a couple hundred years ago we'd be drinking Quicksilver for our health. We'd have a life expectancy of 30 or 40 years, we'd most likely be illiterate and work in fields with little time to think about how shitty the world around us is, or what our philosophy was. I'm not saying we live in a world of roses and candy, but this world is "fucked up" only in some sense... in many other ways, its amazing, fantastic, beautiful, mysterious, exciting and weird as hell.
I also don't see this world as artificial. It's as real as any version of the world before. Sure, people manipulate other people, but that's always been true. People treat each other badly, but that also seems a permanent part of our species.
For me, I can stand it and endure it because the world I live in right now, is a billion times more interesting, exciting, challenging and inspiring than the world that I grew up in.
And we might well have been happier for it.
Maybe, sometimes ignorance is bliss... but bliss can be a killer if you overdose.
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on October 08, 2009, 03:20:50 PM
Quote from: planeswalker on October 07, 2009, 11:07:42 PM
I want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?
I was raised knowing the TRUTH about this fucked up world. I knew that humans had been on earth exactly 6000 years when I was born. I knew that Satan had been kicked out of heaven in 1914 which started WWI and I knew that "This generation that saw all of these things would by no means pass away" before Jesus came to put Satan in the Abyss, kill the evil leaders of Christendom and other False Religions, as well as all those evil government leaders... and anyone else who was a Bad Person.
Then I knew the truth about how he would heal all of our ailments and scars and injuries. God would raise the dead, bring us all back to perfection, we would no longer have to eat meat and we would be at perfect peace with the animals... just like in the Garden of Eden.
These days, I've decided that I don't know the Truth about this fucked up world... I only know the experiences I have, in the context that I had them. I'm perhaps more optimistic than many other Discordians... but after hearing that the world was gonna end, my entire life... the concept seems silly now. Almost every generation seems to think that the world is gonna end in their time, that things have Never Been Worse. In some sense, they're right... the world that they were born into, the world that they grew up in WILL end. It likely will be destroyed before the end of their life, replaced by the next generations world... and that generation will see Armageddon come for them as well.
Life has gone on for millions of years (or thousands depending on what you believe)... I doubt we're in much worse of a shit sandwich than the people before us. I mean hell, a couple hundred years ago we'd be drinking Quicksilver for our health. We'd have a life expectancy of 30 or 40 years, we'd most likely be illiterate and work in fields with little time to think about how shitty the world around us is, or what our philosophy was. I'm not saying we live in a world of roses and candy, but this world is "fucked up" only in some sense... in many other ways, its amazing, fantastic, beautiful, mysterious, exciting and weird as hell.
I also don't see this world as artificial. It's as real as any version of the world before. Sure, people manipulate other people, but that's always been true. People treat each other badly, but that also seems a permanent part of our species.
For me, I can stand it and endure it because the world I live in right now, is a billion times more interesting, exciting, challenging and inspiring than the world that I grew up in.
thanks Rat. I knew you'd be around eventually. =)
jumps off happily into the night
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on October 08, 2009, 05:32:43 PM
:mittens: I'm tired of thinking about the end of the world. Let's go find some interesting things to poke.
YES YES YES!
Nice post, Rat :mittens:
Also, post it on Verwirrung, perhaps?
(I dunno why, but I see a lot of posts out there lately that I think should not be lost in the middle of a thread, but pooped into out there, so that Others can read once more another one of the many faeces of Eris)