Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Suu on October 08, 2009, 12:45:52 AM

Title: BELOVED I AM DRENCHED WITH TEARS WHILE WRITING THIS TO YOU
Post by: Suu on October 08, 2009, 12:45:52 AM
QuoteDear beloved friend,

I know that this letter may be a very big surprise to you.Beloved I am drenched with tears while writing this short message to you.

I am Mrs. Gloria Caldwell from London,I am 58 years old, I am deaf and suffering from a long time cancer of the liver. From all indication my condition is really deteriorating, this is because the cancer  stage has reached a critical stage. I was brought up in a motherless  baby's home, and was married to my late husband for twenty years without a  child.My husband and I are true Christians,but quite unfortunately, he died in a fatal motor accident.

Since his death I decided not to re-marry, I sold all my inherited  belongings and deposited the sum of $3.2million dollars in a  bank.Presently, this money is still in their custody, and the managementjust wrote me as the Legitimate beneficiary to come forward to receive  the money after keeping it for so long or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come  over as a result of my illness, or they get it confisticated.

Presently,I'm with my laptop in a hospital where I have been undergoing  treatment.I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told  me that I have only a few months to live. It is my last wish to see that this money is invested in any organization of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization,the poor and the motherless baby's home where I come from.I want your good humanitarian,to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows around. I must let you know that this was a very  hard decision, but I had to take a bold step towards this issue because I  have no further option. I hope you will help see my last wishes come  true.As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank  where this fund was deposited. I will also issue you a etter of  authority which will prove that you are the new beneficiary of my funds.

Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.


Hope to hear from you Soonest.


your's in Christ,
Mrs Gloria caldwell

Alright spags, now we draft a response to this.  :evil:
Title: Re: BELOVED I AM DRENCHED WITH TEARS WHILE WRITING THIS TO YOU
Post by: Requia ☣ on October 08, 2009, 12:47:41 AM
Oooh, 419 baiting :D
Title: Re: BELOVED I AM DRENCHED WITH TEARS WHILE WRITING THIS TO YOU
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 08, 2009, 03:59:25 AM
Quote from: Suu on October 08, 2009, 12:45:52 AM
QuoteDear beloved friend,

I know that this letter may be a very big surprise to you.Beloved I am drenched with tears while writing this short message to you.

I am Mrs. Gloria Caldwell from London,I am 58 years old, I am deaf and suffering from a long time cancer of the liver. From all indication my condition is really deteriorating, this is because the cancer  stage has reached a critical stage. I was brought up in a motherless  baby's home, and was married to my late husband for twenty years without a  child.My husband and I are true Christians,but quite unfortunately, he died in a fatal motor accident.

Since his death I decided not to re-marry, I sold all my inherited  belongings and deposited the sum of $3.2million dollars in a  bank.Presently, this money is still in their custody, and the managementjust wrote me as the Legitimate beneficiary to come forward to receive  the money after keeping it for so long or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come  over as a result of my illness, or they get it confisticated.

Presently,I'm with my laptop in a hospital where I have been undergoing  treatment.I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told  me that I have only a few months to live. It is my last wish to see that this money is invested in any organization of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization,the poor and the motherless baby's home where I come from.I want your good humanitarian,to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows around. I must let you know that this was a very  hard decision, but I had to take a bold step towards this issue because I  have no further option. I hope you will help see my last wishes come  true.As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank  where this fund was deposited. I will also issue you a etter of  authority which will prove that you are the new beneficiary of my funds.

Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.


Hope to hear from you Soonest.


your's in Christ,
Mrs Gloria caldwell

Alright spags, now we draft a response to this.  :evil:

OH SHIT.  Can I get back to you tomorrow?  I have a thought.  Kind of.
Title: Re: BELOVED I AM DRENCHED WITH TEARS WHILE WRITING THIS TO YOU
Post by: Suu on October 08, 2009, 04:02:04 AM
Go for it.
Title: Re: BELOVED I AM DRENCHED WITH TEARS WHILE WRITING THIS TO YOU
Post by: Dysnomia on October 08, 2009, 05:11:20 AM
Dear Beloved Gloria,

I am an endangered citizen of Zimbabwe trying to escape the political terrors of my government.  You see, I used to be a diamond miner.  I have a wife, and a son whom I love very much.  In addition to being a diamond miner, I am also a very outspoken political activist because my country is riddled with horrible corruption.  Because of my political views I have been forced into hiding to avoid assassination. 

During my days as a diamond miner the work was very rough.  Instead of traditional paper money, we were paid in diamonds.  Over two decades I have saved most of my diamonds, and the total worth is about 500million pounds.  The diamonds are in a special bank account, and if you agree to protect my diamonds I will agree to help protect your money. 

The process is very simple, I just need a legit bank account number and PIN in order to transfer custody of my diamonds.  If you would be willing to give those things to me, I will help you with your situation. 

In Christ,
Chinouyazue Smith
Title: Re: BELOVED I AM DRENCHED WITH TEARS WHILE WRITING THIS TO YOU
Post by: Cain on October 08, 2009, 08:39:37 AM
Doing the most obvious Nigerian Prince response is the only way to go.
Title: Re: BELOVED I AM DRENCHED WITH TEARS WHILE WRITING THIS TO YOU
Post by: Suu on October 08, 2009, 03:25:54 PM
Quote from: Pope Dysnomia on October 08, 2009, 05:11:20 AM
Dear Beloved Gloria,

I am an endangered citizen of Zimbabwe trying to escape the political terrors of my government.  You see, I used to be a diamond miner.  I have a wife, and a son whom I love very much.  In addition to being a diamond miner, I am also a very outspoken political activist because my country is riddled with horrible corruption.  Because of my political views I have been forced into hiding to avoid assassination. 

During my days as a diamond miner the work was very rough.  Instead of traditional paper money, we were paid in diamonds.  Over two decades I have saved most of my diamonds, and the total worth is about 500million pounds.  The diamonds are in a special bank account, and if you agree to protect my diamonds I will agree to help protect your money. 

The process is very simple, I just need a legit bank account number and PIN in order to transfer custody of my diamonds.  If you would be willing to give those things to me, I will help you with your situation. 

In Christ,
Chinouyazue Smith

Done.
Title: Re: BELOVED I AM DRENCHED WITH TEARS WHILE WRITING THIS TO YOU
Post by: 0 on October 08, 2009, 05:05:30 PM
MY HERO 4-EVR

EBOLAMONKEYMAN.COM
Title: Re: BELOVED I AM DRENCHED WITH TEARS WHILE WRITING THIS TO YOU
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on October 08, 2009, 09:53:59 PM
Quote from: Pope Dysnomia on October 08, 2009, 05:11:20 AM
Dear Beloved Gloria,

I am an endangered citizen of Zimbabwe trying to escape the political terrors of my government.  You see, I used to be a diamond miner.  I have a wife, and a son whom I love very much.  In addition to being a diamond miner, I am also a very outspoken political activist because my country is riddled with horrible corruption.  Because of my political views I have been forced into hiding to avoid assassination. 

During my days as a diamond miner the work was very rough.  Instead of traditional paper money, we were paid in diamonds.  Over two decades I have saved most of my diamonds, and the total worth is about 500million pounds.  The diamonds are in a special bank account, and if you agree to protect my diamonds I will agree to help protect your money. 

The process is very simple, I just need a legit bank account number and PIN in order to transfer custody of my diamonds.  If you would be willing to give those things to me, I will help you with your situation. 

In Christ,
Chinouyazue Smith

:mittens:
Title: Re: BELOVED I AM DRENCHED WITH TEARS WHILE WRITING THIS TO YOU
Post by: Dysnomia on October 09, 2009, 02:05:13 AM
 :thanks: