They hate you. Learn to accept this. They do not hate you for your personality, or for gender issues, or anything like that...hell, they don't even KNOW you. They hate you because you are a scientist, and scientists deal in things they find abhorrent. Facts. Truth. You deal in Truth, in the way things really are, and they hate you for it.
They also hate you for what scientists have done. And what have you done? You have done many things...some good, some bad, some that LOOK bad, but are really good. For example, you have taken a lump of metal the size of my thumb, and made a new sun out of it, if only for a few seconds. This SOUNDS bad, until you realize that we haven't had a global war since. This is what you have done.
You have eradicated smallpox, the greatest killer in the history of man. You have invented penicillin, anesthesia, and cut infant mortality down to an odd exception, rather than a general rule. This is what you have done.
More to the point, you have brought the light of knowledge to the masses, you have brought the collected knowledge of the entire world into the laptop in front of me, and for THAT, they will never forgive you...For they live off of lies, Kai, they use these lies to screw us to the wall and rape us. They lie, and people spend their entire lives in fear of an angry God. They lie, and millions and millions of people die. These lies are powerful things, but the Truth is far more powerful...and since science, no matter how obscure a field, collects facts and describes Truth, it cannot be abided...for as the knowledge base of the world grows, there is less and less room for lies, and the lies they tell are believed for shorter and shorter periods of time.
Truth can be an ugly thing. Truth can be truly awful. But it's the only thing worth having, it's the only thing that keeps us free, so I say science, pure science, and let him be damned that says "enough".
Or kill me.
(Note: No, this isn't the psycho letter. That comes tomorrow.)
Fuck you Kai! :argh!:
At first I was all :horrormirth: but then I :x
1. Hell YES.
2. I'm perfectly okay with mutual hatred. :)
3. The truth sets you free, but its like getting kicked in the nads.
4. Too much is often better than not enough.
5. May the consequences damn them all, for I am a saint in seeking.
Quote from: Kai on October 09, 2009, 03:23:38 AM
1. Hell YES.
2. I'm perfectly okay with mutual hatred. :)
3. The truth sets you free, but its like getting kicked in the nads.
4. Too much is often ALWAYS better than not enough.
5. May the consequences damn them all, for I am a saint in seeking.
Fixed. I just wanted to drop you a line of encouragement, after your last post in one line rants.
I got this thing I've been doing that helps.
You see, I stop breathing all the time. I don't know why. Just suddenly, I'm sitting at my microscope, or hunched over a tray, and I start feeling really shitty, I start thinking horrible thoughts, my palate goes dry and pasty, my head hurts, my whole body goes tense and sinks into the pit of my stomach, and then I realize it, I've stopped breathing. I've gotten so stuck in this activity of anxiety that binds me to the anticipation and recapitulation of whatever imagined horrors stock my neural cobwebs at the moment. I hate everything, hate them all, and I've stopped breathing. And when I do breathe, its short, with big gaps, and a big wait period when my whole lungs are empty.
So I reverse it.
I get ready and I breathe in deep, fill my stomach, fill my whole chest, keep breathing, keep pulling in air till its all stretching and tensing, till I can't take any more and I'm almost bursting and I crane my neck to take the smallest amount in more.
And then sigh it all out.
Usually after the 5th time doing this the stretching has released the endorphins. I start laughing. The tension is gone, and though I may be tired and swearing like a motherfucker and my legs and back won't work right I'm laughing and smiling. Because people WILL fuck you up, but you can fuck them back, and even then they can't take away your breathing.
And I'm a little better now. And fuck them, they can't take that away.
Quote from: Kai on October 09, 2009, 03:45:21 AM
I got this thing I've been doing that helps.
You see, I stop breathing all the time. I don't know why. Just suddenly, I'm sitting at my microscope, or hunched over a tray, and I start feeling really shitty, I start thinking horrible thoughts, my palate goes dry and pasty, my head hurts, my whole body goes tense and sinks into the pit of my stomach, and then I realize it, I've stopped breathing. I've gotten so stuck in this activity of anxiety that binds me to the anticipation and recapitulation of whatever imagined horrors stock my neural cobwebs at the moment. I hate everything, hate them all, and I've stopped breathing. And when I do breathe, its short, with big gaps, and a big wait period when my whole lungs are empty.
So I reverse it.
I get ready and I breathe in deep, fill my stomach, fill my whole chest, keep breathing, keep pulling in air till its all stretching and tensing, till I can't take any more and I'm almost bursting and I crane my neck to take the smallest amount in more.
And then sigh it all out.
Usually after the 5th time doing this the stretching has released the endorphins. I start laughing. The tension is gone, and though I may be tired and swearing like a motherfucker and my legs and back won't work right I'm laughing and smiling. Because people WILL fuck you up, but you can fuck them back, and even then they can't take away your breathing.
And I'm a little better now. And fuck them, they can't take that away.
Excellent. I was just a little worried by your "fuck the caddisflies" statement, and I wanted to make sure you weren't gonna quit.
I'm not gonna quit. I just need to keep eating, keep sleeping and dreaming, keep breathing deep, keep reading and KEEP FUCKING WRITING.
Holy shit, when did I start loving to write?
Quote from: Kai on October 09, 2009, 03:53:33 AM
I'm not gonna quit. I just need to keep eating, keep sleeping and dreaming, keep breathing deep, keep reading and KEEP FUCKING WRITING.
Holy shit, when did I start loving to write?
Who cares? Fucking RUN WITH IT!
Quote from: Kai on October 09, 2009, 03:53:33 AM
I'm not gonna quit. I just need to keep eating, keep sleeping and dreaming, keep breathing deep, keep reading and KEEP FUCKING WRITING.
Holy shit, when did I start loving to write?
I dunno, but I've been digging it. You and Nigel both just exploded.
Quote from: Kai on October 09, 2009, 03:53:33 AM
Holy shit, when did I start loving to write?
It's getting infectious, hasn't it? I'm really liking these threads, btw. It's managed to knock all of us into creative writing mode. Great job, TGRR.
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on October 09, 2009, 04:44:48 AM
Quote from: Kai on October 09, 2009, 03:53:33 AM
Holy shit, when did I start loving to write?
It's getting infectious, hasn't it? I'm really liking these threads, btw. It's managed to knock all of us into creative writing mode. Great job, TGRR.
:oops:
It was those pills.
<3 the rant, love science. You rock, TGRR.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 09, 2009, 01:47:59 AM
For example, you have taken a lump of metal the size of my thumb, and made a new sun out of it, if only for a few seconds. This SOUNDS bad, until you realize that we haven't had a global war since. This is what you have done.
This is true.
Quote from: Sir Remington III on October 09, 2009, 04:51:03 AM
<3 the rant, love science. You rock, TGRR.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 09, 2009, 01:47:59 AM
For example, you have taken a lump of metal the size of my thumb, and made a new sun out of it, if only for a few seconds. This SOUNDS bad, until you realize that we haven't had a global war since. This is what you have done.
This is true.
Who ever says that fusion nuclear weapons are not deterrents fail at
paying attention. At all.
Also, as crazy as North Korea is, they still like living and having their country. They won't launch the nukes, but it sure makes the rest of the world take them seriously. Same for any other nuclear power. Having nukes means you get to sit at the big kids table.
Though I still feel horror at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Big Buckets of Mittens to both TGRR and Kai, ITT.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 09, 2009, 03:24:44 AM
Quote from: Kai on October 09, 2009, 03:23:38 AM
1. Hell YES.
2. I'm perfectly okay with mutual hatred. :)
3. The truth sets you free, but its like getting kicked in the nads.
4. Too much is often ALWAYS better than not NEVER enough.
5. May the consequences damn them all, for I am a saint in seeking.
Fixed. I just wanted to drop you a line of encouragement, after your last post in one line rants.
Re-fixed.
When I start feeling shitty I quit working and come read this thread. It hurts less afterwards.
Quote from: Kai on October 09, 2009, 08:18:40 PM
When I start feeling shitty I quit working and come read this thread. It hurts less afterwards.
:)
TGRR,
Is glad he could help.
I have to post in here because this thread made my day and i'm not even a scientist.