Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Iason Ouabache on October 23, 2009, 08:33:29 PM

Title: Happy 6012th Birthday, Earth!!!
Post by: Iason Ouabache on October 23, 2009, 08:33:29 PM
Back way way long ago there was a man named James Ussher (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Ussher) who was the Archbishop of Armagh and Primate* of All Ireland. Very important man with lots of time on his hand. So much time that he figured he'd put it to good use by counting back all of the begats in the Bible to see exactly how old the earth is. After much calculation and triangulation he came up with an exact date: Sunday October 23, 4004 BC. Nightfall, to be exact. That means that today (presumably at sunset in Israel) the earth will be exactly 6012 years old. Happy birthday, earth! You've come a long way, baby! However, I must say that you are looking awfully old for your age what with all the wrinkles, stretch marks, and radioactivity. You really need to learn to take care of yourself better.



* - Yes, it is ironic that one of the icons of Young Earth Creationism openly called himself a primate.
Title: Re: Happy 6012th Birthday, Earth!!!
Post by: Eater of Clowns on October 23, 2009, 08:37:22 PM
I might honestly prefer this model.  It means the Earth arrived, partied, and died young.
Title: Re: Happy 6012th Birthday, Earth!!!
Post by: AFK on October 23, 2009, 08:42:19 PM
See, and if we let Barack Obama institute his evil Communist Health Care Reform, there will be Death Panels and Earth will not get the life saving medicine it needs and will be told to just TAKE THE RED PILL AND GO DIE IN THE CORNER!!!!!
Title: Re: Happy 6012th Birthday, Earth!!!
Post by: Kai on October 23, 2009, 10:15:30 PM
 :lulz: + 4.5 billion
Title: Re: Happy 6012th Birthday, Earth!!!
Post by: the other anonymous on October 23, 2009, 10:49:04 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 23, 2009, 08:37:22 PM
I might honestly prefer this model.  It means the Earth arrived, partied, and died young.

ORBIT FAST, DIE YOUNG, AND LEAVE A BEAUTIFUL ASTEROID FIELD
Title: Re: Happy 6012th Birthday, Earth!!!
Post by: the other anonymous on October 23, 2009, 10:49:59 PM
Quote from: Kai on October 23, 2009, 10:15:30 PM
:lulz: + 4.5 billion

Gaia is a woman. She's allowed to lie about her age.
Title: Re: Happy 6012th Birthday, Earth!!!
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on October 24, 2009, 01:59:05 AM
The world was created Last Thursday, it will continue to exist until Next Thursday, at which time it will be destroyed in its entirety and replaced by a completely new world that is exactly identical in all respects.
Title: Re: Happy 6012th Birthday, Earth!!!
Post by: Bu🤠ns on October 24, 2009, 02:12:42 AM
The other day somebody stole everything in my apartment and replaced it with an exact replica... When my roommate came home I said, "Roommate, someone stole everything in our apartment and replaced it with an exact replica." He looked at me and said, "Do I know you?"

           \\
(http://www.stltoday.com/blogzone/the-blender/files/2008/09/steven.jpg)
Title: Re: Happy 6012th Birthday, Earth!!!
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on October 25, 2009, 03:50:56 AM
http://www.angryflower.com/differ.gif (http://www.angryflower.com/differ.gif)